ifelt as if i did not deserve anything. i had no right to ask for anything i wanted.een there, there's always been that nagging feeling of loss, guilt, shame, anger. well, it would be very good i if somebody said, "i'm sorry." but it would be so good to give i permission to all those thousands of women and children - who have suffered so much over the years without a voice, it would be so helpful to show people that l what happened to us was wrong. they told me i would forget and i would go on, - i could have other children. and i neverdid. why would you when you think that you have given your child away? i why would you think that you deserve to have other children? _ what have you missed out on? well, being a mum. i've got stepchildren now, but i do not know how to mother. i don't know how to, because i haven't... it is notjust me, it is thousands of women. and it was so wrong. sunny skies and over 20 degrees. we've got a few more days of this on the way. beautiful evenings, perfect for a walk in the park. or some time in the beer garden — you've earned it. but mind

when i finally, like, realised why ifelt like that, it, like... bulb explosion. it was like, "oh my god," it got me so excited. it was probably the big changing moment to make me realise, "yeah, no, i'm probably... "probably tra nsgender. " i want to officially say — hey, i want to be referred to as andi from now on. if you guys have any questions at all, feel free to swipe up and ask me, i will be glad to answer. i was scared, obviously, that some people might not think that it's ok, especially the adults, but i felt like, happy. like, really happy. the night before my birthday, i kind of was awake the entire time. i feel like a ghoul. i remember walking in the school and thinking, "oh, my god, "i'm an adult now, i am a legal adult. "it is my birthday, i am 18." then i got a text from my friend, bella, and she was like, "hey, can you come up to the choir room real quick?" she doesn't get upset much, so, like, ithought it was a serious problem. when everything was ready, i brought him upstairs, and someone was videoing... i was greeted with the en

so, yeah, ifelt the love. important this champions league has been seen to your club. it's the thing that really city have wanted so much over the last decade, really, since the current owners came in. just how special would be to deliver that, do you think, for the owners and the fans as well?— you think, for the owners and the fans as well? definitely, you know, it's. .. all the _ fans as well? definitely, you know, it's. .. all the players _ fans as well? definitely, you know, it's. .. all the players speak - fans as well? definitely, you know, it's. .. all the players speak about l it's... all the players speak about it, wejust it's... all the players speak about it, we just want to do it for the fans. they deserve it for all the support over the years. yeah, we just want to do it for them and try our best. ., ., .,, ., , , our best. you have obviously developed — our best. you have obviously developed a _ our best. you have obviously developed a hell _ our best. you have obviously developed a hell of - ou

when ijump back in a racing car, things felt pretty normal, ifelt back in a racing car, things felt prettyfect. ijust need to avoid the sun for a couple of years. the left—hand, it's still quite red around here. it's not pretty, it's not very comfortable but with cream every hour or so and some treatment and a bit of work to the day actually works pretty well. in the most important thing is i can play with my kids. i can cuddle them also i can drive a racing car.— i can drive a racing car. incredible sto and i can drive a racing car. incredible story and it _ i can drive a racing car. incredible story and it will _ i can drive a racing car. incredible story and it will be _ i can drive a racing car. incredible story and it will be great - i can drive a racing car. incredible story and it will be great to - i can drive a racing car. incredible story and it will be great to see . story and it will be great to see him back in a racing car one final time. before we go , there's just time to remind you about our top story... we're just about an hour away from kick—off between chelsea and real m

you know, ifelt we needed to create some excitement and i thought $1 million and a scholarship over athe plan does come with presidential approval. i hear that at last night�*s vaccine lottery, ohio has a new millionaire. laughter. i tell you what. who would have thunk it? a million bucks for getting a vaccine? and it�*s notjust the united states hoping to essentially bribe its citizens to doing their civic duty. in hong kong, a flat worth more than $10 million, around 1 million us dollars is now up for grabs. the authorities believe it�*s a small price to pay to encourage people to get theirjabs. after all, lotto fever is certainly preferable to the real thing. tim allman, bbc news. a reminder of our top story... president biden has been defending his plans for a six trillion dollar government spending spree —— the biggest since the second world war. you can reach me on twitter — i�*m @ ben m boulos thank you for watching bbc news. hello there. friday was a bit of a disappointing day thanks to a weak weather front which brought more cloud around and also some light and patchy rain. b

every single time i trained, every single time my heart rate went up, i felt sick, ifelt nauseous i hadbad it could be? i wasn't. erm, i had a neurologist appointment and he said it was a concussive seizure, and that he'd only actually ever seen it in boxing before. he'd not actually seen it in a rugby player, and certainly not in a female rugby player. some experts now believe that women playing a contact sport are twice as likely to suffer concussion than men. what this evidence is telling us is that — funnily enough — males and females are different. and this one—size—all approach to concussion, which is based almost exclusively on research in men — it's not going to fit. we're not really hearing any female voices on this. and if women are going to hit their 405, 50s, 60s, working age and have a risk of dementia, then that's a real negligence, isn't it? with former players asking questions about the past, there are calls for rugby to make changes now to better protect players. 0verdue for many is reducing the level of contact and hits in training. do you understand why they didn't ma

and ifelt that i had upheld my end of the bargain with nasa, i did not feel like i owed nasa anythinghing. but any regrets at all that you did not pursue that opportunity? sure, sure, but, you know, my luck had ended and this was the time for it and yeah, sure, but did i look back and when my good, good friend, gene cernan stepped out onto the lunar surface, did i feel a sense of green envy? no. did you think, that could have been me? i maybe thought that, but i wasn't green with envy or anything like that. it was not a strong feeling, no. i made my decision, i was happy with my decision, i was now living in washington, dc with a decentjob, my wife, my family situation was good, so i had no cause for any great regret. as you say, you, for a while, were the director of the air and space museum. you stayed very closely tied to the world of space exploration, you have watched nasa at close quarters. do you think after the apollo programme was wound up, do you think nasa, in a sense, lost its way? the development of the space shuttle, those missions to the space station, space lab, they s

ifelt abuse. , , why i had screwed. i felt abuse. , , ,, why i had screwed.. is this type of behaviour and - abuse. is this type of behaviour and care . abuse. is this type of - behaviour and care acceptable in other words and hospitals and the resounding conclusion was that it was not acceptable. the health minister of croatia change into thousand 20 and although they have been no law changes criminalising this type of violence, the social media movement has broken down taboos. ., ., ., , ., taboos. violent against women in childbirth — taboos. violent against women in childbirth is _ taboos. violent against women in childbirth is so _ taboos. violent against women in childbirth is so normalised . in childbirth is so normalised that it in childbirth is so normalised thatitis in childbirth is so normalised that it is not yet considered violence against women. in 2019, the un special rabbitohs of violence against women investigated the extent of this violence. —— special reporter. new social movement have shed light on the mistreatment that women suffer, demon

ifelt quite emotional, like, going inside. what have you missed about the theatre in the last year and a bit? the whole communal feeling of being in a house together and enjoying the same thing at the same moment, i think. yeah. laughing with somebody else. yeah. theatre is an important part of the uk economy. each year, normally, 3a million people go to see a show. through tickets, travel and restaurants, that generates over £1 billion in vat for the government. and the sector employs almost 300,000 people — on stage, backstage and supplying things like costumes and props. despite this week's reopenings, there are fears that could be an unwelcome plot twist. the bigger shows, like matilda, hamilton and the lion king are more expensive to stage and plan to return only after the next easing of rules, where they can fill the seats without social distancing. that is expected on the 21st ofjune, but if it is delayed, there will be questions about whether the shows can go on. ben boulos, bbc news. time for a look at the weather. he

for the recent i've described, ifelt my couldn't.i was caught in this terrible mistake, the truth is that, no, i wasn't sorry about moving them from london and didn't think it was a mistake, i thought it was the right thing to do, but the problem is we were trapped in a situation where i was only telling part of the story, so the whole thing was just a disaster. obviously, iam so the whole thing was just a disaster. obviously, i am extremely sorry about the whole thing, the way it worked out, because the reality is, i had all the security problems again afterwards, twice further i had to move my family out of the house, again, because of problems at the house, despite the covid rules. i stress for all the journalists watching, the further stories about me going back are false. it is true that i move my wife and child back out of london, despite the covid rules, but that was in discussion with the police. i did not leave london and all the stories about me being elsewhere and going wherever, though stories are all categorically false,

well for some i thought we started brightly, then we started —— then we came back the last 10—15, and ifeltplaying wednesday nights, thursday night. it's tough, it's difficult, the times, especially when you don't travel back and you don't get home until 5am on friday, have to travel here after this long season. so i'm delighted with everyone. season. so i'm delighted with everyone-— season. so i'm delighted with eve one. ., season. so i'm delighted with eve one. ,, ., ., everyone. over in spain, sylvia are keein: everyone. over in spain, sylvia are keeping themselves _ everyone. over in spain, sylvia are keeping themselves right - everyone. over in spain, sylvia are keeping themselves right in - everyone. over in spain, sylvia are keeping themselves right in the i keeping themselves right in the championship mix. currently 1—0 up against real madrid. fernando with the only goal in the game so far, 25 minutes left on that one. a win for real madrid would see them up with atletico madrid. all four can still win at la liga in what is a remarkably tight race. 0nly win at la liga in what is a r

you know, ifelt we needed to create some excitement and i thought $1 million and a scholarship over aohio's footsteps with millions of dollars in potential prizes. some may still be a little reluctant, but the plan does come with presidential approval. i hear that at last night's vaccine lottery, ohio has a new millionaire. laughter. i tell you what. who would have thunk it? a million bucks for getting a vaccine? and it's notjust the united states hoping to essentially bribe its citizens to doing their civic duty. in hong kong, a flat worth more than $10 million, around $1 million us is now up for grabs. the authorities believe it's a small price to pay to encourage people to get theirjabs. after all, lotto fever is certainly preferable to the real thing. tim allman, bbc news. great idea. uk music festivals could be facing another "lost summer", according to mps who blame the government for not introducing an insurance safety net for organisers. a report from the digital, culture, media and sport committee said ministers had refused to take multiple opportunities to address concerns a

i wrote on social media on my twitter last night that ifelt quite numb, i'd gone past the point of feelingthe australian government was actively considering this. if we look at the statistics, there were around 36,000 currently stranded australians globally, of which one quarter, 9000, are in india. so the numbers are not that staggering. it is actually more about whether or not australia's hotel quarantine system can keep up, and that is the real crux of the issue that the australian government is dealing with. had we been more prepared here in australia, we would be in a better position not only to help our asian neighbours neighbours in india, but to help those australian citizens who remain stranded. care home residents in england are to be allowed to go out for walks, or visit the gardens of friends and relatives from tuesday without having to self—isolate for two weeks on their return. the government says it's updated its guidance in light of the success of the vaccination programme, and falling cora navirus infection rates. campaigners had threatened legal action, arguing that resid

ifelt quite emotional, like, going inside.oying the same thing at the same moment, i think. yeah. laughing with somebody else. yeah. theatre is an important part of the uk economy. each year, normally, 3a million people go to see a show. through tickets, travel and restaurants, that generates over £1 billion in vat for the government. and the sector employs almost 300,000 people — on stage, backstage and supplying things like costumes and props. despite this week's reopenings, there are fears that could be

ifelt surprisingly stable and agile as james was keen to prove. _ breath away. you can't stall this aircraft. the fact you're - breath away. you can't stall this aircraft. the fact you're very - breath away. you can't stall this| aircraft. the fact you're very thin aircraft. the fact you�*re very thin little rotors that cut through the air, very efficiently, and they are not really subject to turbulence in the same way a fixed wing aircraft would be, it makes them very manoeuvrable. you can fly very, very slow and you can do things in these draft that you just cannot do in any other aircraft. draft that you 'ust cannot do in any other aircraft.— other aircraft. while being stirred, i was not other aircraft. while being stirred, i was not too _ other aircraft. while being stirred, i was not too shaken _ other aircraft. while being stirred, i was not too shaken as _ other aircraft. while being stirred, i was not too shaken as we - other aircraft. while being stirred, i was not too shaken as we finally| i was not too shaken as we finally touched down

as a manager, ifelt that that would be good for him.o is supposed to manage one of the beer club. he has done really well with difficult circumstances. —— he doesn't get acknowledged as a manager who is was to manage one of the better clubs. and there'll be up to two thousand fans of each club at the game and plenty of united supporters are expecting a positive result. they need a trophy under the belt and then they can start winning things again. hopefully some massive steps for us and we can get winning titles again. that is the plan anyway. i titles again. that is the plan an a . : , titles again. that is the plan an a , :, , : :, , titles again. that is the plan an a. anyway. i was considering cancelling because i thought _ anyway. i was considering cancelling because i thought they _ anyway. i was considering cancelling because i thought they might i anyway. i was considering cancelling because i thought they might not i anyway. i was considering cancelling because i thought they might not be any of— because i thought they might no

ifelt so much for letting me come. ifelt so incredibly safe down here.nd all— amazing to see, fi. well done, fi. your guests and all the _ amazing to see, fi. well done, fi. your guests and all the fish - amazing to see, fi. well done, fi. your guests and all the fish in - amazing to see, fi. well done, fi. your guests and all the fish in the | your guests and all the fish in the background. l your guests and all the fish in the background-— background. i love all the name checks of the _ background. i love all the name checks of the different - background. i love all the name checks of the different fish, - background. i love all the name | checks of the different fish, what background. i love all the name i checks of the different fish, what a privilege for him to be there and for us to be able to watch it, as well, wonderful.— well, wonderful. really nifty technology- _ well, wonderful. really nifty technology. to _ well, wonderful. really nifty technology. to give - well, wonderful. really nifty technology. to give you i well, wonderful. really nifty

reality made manifest through physically seeing the man's knee on a's neck, for me, it was the feeling ifelt western construct for the longest time, i have been here, i have had a voice but have not been able to use it. i have felt like a lot of black people have felt like a lot of black people have felt. so, for me, that physical and dark murder that happened gave life to the community coming together on a more social level, which pushed government and business to respond. which pushed government and business to resond. ~ ., to respond. when you say you have -ushed to respond. when you say you have pushed government _ to respond. when you say you have pushed government to _ to respond. when you say you have pushed government to respond, i to respond. when you say you have l pushed government to respond, they commissioned the report on rachel inequalities, i can see you smiling and laughing, i will ask why enable moment. it was published and criticised by a number of organisations, individuals and charities, it concluded the uk does not have a systemic problem with racism. is that why you ar

london teams, and they could well come to a game, and it would be quiet and i would be alone, and ifeltbout social media companies, let's - level. chris, talking about social media companies, let's go i level. chris, talking about social media companies, let's go to i level. chris, talking about social| media companies, let's go to the source, the people who are writing the abuse. what do you say to those people? the abuse. what do you say to those -eo . le? . the abuse. what do you say to those --eole? . , , people? that is exactly right. of course there _ people? that is exactly right. of course there are _ people? that is exactly right. of course there are things - people? that is exactly right. of course there are things that i people? that is exactly right. of i course there are things that social media _ course there are things that social media can — course there are things that social media can do. we need to get ofcom to use _ media can do. we need to get ofcom to use their— media can do. we need to get ofcom to use their tech, and ultimately, we have — to use their tech, and u

and ijust got hold of his hand and i thought, my god, ifelt really choked up, and that is when it really has done so well in life, he's _ it. yes, that david, he has done so well in life, he's got _ it. yes, that david, he has done so well in life, he's got his _ it. yes, that david, he has done so well in life, he's got his own - well in life, he's got his own business. _ well in life, he's got his own business, he employs people, and when _ business, he employs people, and when he _ business, he employs people, and when he came to us, he was a... broken— when he came to us, he was a... broken boy, _ when he came to us, he was a... broken boy, sitting there, staring at the ground, he came from a very dysfunctional family. at the ground, he came from a very dysfunctionalfamily. and he was with us for... dysfunctional family. and he was with us for. . ._ with us for... about four year's, eah. with us for... about four year's, yeah- you _ with us for... about four year's, yeah. you obviously _ with us for... about four year's, yeah. you obviously had - with us for... about four year's, yea

when ijumped back in the racing car, things felt truly normal, ifelt racing car, things felt truly normals i say, i'm happy. and do you think. in _ smooth. and as i say, i'm happy. and do you think, in a _ smooth. and as i say, i'm happy. and do you think, in a sense, being able to drive in indycar has been able to help you recover from what happened? well, i would put it in a different way. i always, well, i would put it in a different way. ialways, a well, i would put it in a different way. i always, a sportsmen always needs a target to come back from injury. and for me, the end of january, 31st ofjanuary injury. and for me, the end of january, 31st of january was the date where i wanted to be able to use my hands properly, and my left thumb, which had ligament issues and i had had surgery. i always had to pad that as the date because i knew in february i had to go and drive indycar. so it has been a process to keep going to rehab and push my body to heal faster. bud keep going to rehab and push my body to heal faster-— to heal faster. and how are your hands now? _ to heal faster. and h

remember leaving her in october, november, simply because i felt the security was compromised and ifeltmbassadorial role in her new life. sadly, that never took place but she did ask me, look, we've had some great times, i acknowledge the work you have done, if there's one piece of advise what would it be? and i remember saying very clearly i've never been asked to give advice to a member of the royal family before but i would say this — whatever your plans are you will always be a princess in name but you will need the best protection. scotland yard has never let you down and we were able to give you privacy when you crave for it. so, we work together. i remember once during our time together, once that security was compromised, but she abandoned the security completely. it has always been my view that because of her loyalty and sense of duty to the queen herself that had the queen insisted that diana maintain her scotland yard security then we wouldn't be having this discussion but sadly that wasn't the case and she inherited in the following two years the security provided by mohamed

ifelt isolated, i didn't know who to speak to end the stigma of mental health was make me worried abouth worse. , ._ ., house actually made my mental health worse. , ., . ., worse. let me bring in taylor. what alissa said. — worse. let me bring in taylor. what alissa said, does _ worse. let me bring in taylor. what alissa said, does that _ worse. let me bring in taylor. what alissa said, does that ring - worse. let me bring in taylor. what alissa said, does that ring bells - alissa said, does that ring bells with you, accessing remote appointments?— with you, accessing remote a-tointments? , ., , appointments? yes, it was really difficult for _ appointments? yes, it was really difficult for me _ appointments? yes, it was really difficult for me because - appointments? yes, it was really difficult for me because i - appointments? yes, it was really difficult for me because i have i difficult for me because i have autism — difficult for me because i have autism and sol difficult for me because i have autism and so i rely quite heavily on kind _ autism and so i rely quite heavily on kind o

ifelt heavy and had a lot of pain.e foods that are engineered specifically to drive excess dysfunction.— specifically to drive excess dysfunction. specifically to drive excess d sfunction. ., ., , dysfunction. the thing that really hit me is what _ dysfunction. the thing that really hit me is what you _ dysfunction. the thing that really hit me is what you said _ dysfunction. the thing that really hit me is what you said there. it| dysfunction. the thing that reallyl hit me is what you said there. it is not like you are doing an extreme diet. this is something a lot of us are eating far too much of this stuff. the effects we saw on your body in that month, a lot of people in the uk are going through the same process. mi; in the uk are going through the same nrocess. g , , ., ., , process. my message is quite anxious makinr. process. my message is quite anxious making- the — process. my message is quite anxious making- the one _ process. my message is quite anxious making. the one thing _ process. my message is quite an

if you| have had your vaccine, did you have any side effects because i had mine and ifelt rough any sideere in one of the first cohorts. side effects are very common and it is often part of your immune system building up. the commonest side effect is a sore arm with redness and itching but some people can feel rundown, hot and cold, a little bit sick. normally it lasts a day or two and is self—limiting and self resolving and we recommend rest, paracetamol, plenty of fluids, but nothing to worry about. some people will get side effects but equally others will get none and it is part of your immunity building up and often even with the flu jab and other vaccinations you can get similar side effects.— other vaccinations you can get similar side effects. thank you so much and i _ similar side effects. thank you so much and i am — similar side effects. thank you so much and i am loving _ similar side effects. thank you so much and i am loving the - similar side effects. thank you so much and i am loving the taj i similar side effects. thank you so l much and i am loving the taj mahal in the b

i feel like, definitely does not go well, i felt like i | does not go well, ifelt like i needed to escapeonline, which we always support. it felt like we are making waves and people are responding and buying the books and reading along. i get loads of tweets from people saying they have read five of the books already and ready for the series. it is brilliant, really exciting. next week we have got this book, i will be hit or last year, such an incredible book. if you get anything from today, please get the audiobook of this because it is read by one of our guests on the show, who is lady banbridge, took up the town! from a it is incredible, i really recommend that, i will be hit from last year know rantie what is this one, which is really creepy. this is what we are covering on the show next week and david baddiel, phil davis, kathryn ryan, is hilarious, as you can imagine. kathryn ryan, is hilarious, as you can imagine-— kathryn ryan, is hilarious, as you can imaine. ., ., ,~ _ can imagine. you said really creepy, what kind of— can imagine. you said really creepy, what kind of books _ ca

been to the doctor a lot previously and i felt like had never been to the doctor a lot previously and ifelto pass on this information. absolutely. gael�*s story is one i absolutely. gael's story is one i have _ absolutely. gael's story is one i have heard _ absolutely. gael's story is one i have heard countless times and there will be _ have heard countless times and there will be tens— have heard countless times and there will be tens of thousands of women this morning looking at this judgment with keen interest and hoping _ judgment with keen interest and hoping it— judgment with keen interest and hoping it is favourable to them. what _ hoping it is favourable to them. what is — hoping it is favourable to them. what is the crux of the case in terms of the information that has come to light that will lead to the decision? th come to light that will lead to the decision? :: ' j~ come to light that will lead to the decision? :: ' j~ . ., decision? in 2018, the court in paris ruled _ decision? in 2018, the court in paris ruled the _ decision? in 2018, the court in paris ruled the point _ deci