i am your host, stephen colbert. happy friday! use ) as you can tell, that sound-- >> jon: that sound. >> stephen: right there. there's no mistaking that. there's no mistaking that, jon. jon, tell me, you're an expert. you have a good ear. what kind of audience is that? >> jon: that's a friday audience. >> stephen: that's exactly what that is. woooo! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hook up my jumper cables to that right there. >> jon: hook it up! >> stephen: happy friday, everybody. of and it's glowft any friday. tonight is actually the two-year anniversary of the pandemic! two years-- it's true. two years is the cotton anniversary. your gift is all those cloth masks that we now know are completely ineffective. the world health organization this is true, officially declared covid a pandemic on march 11, 2021. remember those early lockdown days? me neither. but let's try, in our beloved once-running segment: >> "the late show's rockin' two-year coronavirus pandemi-versary: a fo-- look back." >> i'm gonna get omi-crunked! >> step

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! and applause ) >> stephen: there you go! ( cheers and applause ) what? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) all week, we've been talking about russia's invasion of ukraine,except for last night, when we took a brief break to talk about the president talking about russia's invasion of ukraine. last night, we were live. so tonight, i'm dead inside. but i'm glad we put effort to nto make the live show. because it was a pretty good night for the president, unlike for some of his critics. you see, the d.c. area was put on high alert after a group of truckers threatened to swarm into the capital to protest biden's speech and vaccine mandates the way they had in canada. organizers estimated there would be upwards of 3,000 attendees. but by the time biden's speech began, only 12 rally-goers had actually assembled. ( cheers and applause ). 12. 12. and most of them just wanted to

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! rs and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: thank you so much. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ there you go. thank you. ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much. please, ladies and gentlemen, please, have a seat. welcome, one and all, in here, out there, all around the world. welcome to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. ladies and gentlemen-- ( cheers and applause ) i want to brace yourself because something good might be happening. possibly. because as of this morning, russia says it's pulling back some of its forces amid the ukraine crisis. okay, so russia might be pulling out. ( laughter ) that-- that would be good, right, joe? >> that would be good, but we have not yet verified that. an invasion remains distinctly possible. >> stephen: okay. probably smart not to trust vlad on this one. dudes like him never pull out when they say they will. ( laughter ) ( applause ) but-- true story, based on a true story. but, still, the signs are looking mildly positive. yesterday, r

because that's the kind of caring, decent man stephen colbert is.t heard he doesn't actually use gasoline, he drives $150,000 electric car, but he will do it anyway. he's the kind of man who will take you out to dinner and let you pay, and at the end he will let you leave a big tip because he cares about the server. sometimes as stephen colbert reminds us, life is about making tough moral choices, and that's especially true now. is it the end of this project, this protracted exercise and social reorganization achieved through covid, plus a war with russia -- if at that point, whenever it is, we know longer have a self-sufficient middle-class, if people make under 100 grand a year or more desperate and demoralized and dependent on government and they've ever been, if the only americans who remain truly free at that point are the oligarchs, well, at least we can say we helped democracy. when mark zuckerberg controls everything in america you will know it's a truly democratic system. justin trudeau understands this. he ran over members of his middle-cl

>> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight,

and, now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) >> jon: aaahhh! >> stephen: thanks, everybody! please! please have a seat, folks. welcome one and all in here, out there, all around the world to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. this is, without a doubt, a troubling time, what with the pandemic and now a brutal, unprovoked war in europe. but every once in a while there's a gleam of sunshine in the world, a child's smile, the first flower of spring, the january 6th committee laying out potential criminal charges against the former president. ( cheers and applause ) turns out, there's a chance that trying to violently overthrow our democracy might be illegal. the potential charge against the former president and his campaign is "criminal conspiracy to defraud the united states." to paraphrase an idiot and his bloodthirsty mob: lock him up! ( cheers and applause ) ( chanting lock him up ) >> stephen: wow, wow! i've never had my own blood thirsty mob before. ( laughter ) i get

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! rs and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: lovely. >> jon: pow! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hello! thank you so much! you're too kind. you're absolutely too kind. welcome to "the late show," everybody. i'm your host stephen colbert. if you have been watching the news, you know the world continues to talk about the eccentric power-mad cult-like leader who has launched a surprise bid to retake what we thought he'd abandoned long ago. because tom brady has changed his mind on retirement and will return to the buccaneers to play a 23rd season. (whistles) ( cheers and applause ) "false start to retirement. ( laughter ) also, unnecessary handsomeness." ( laughter ) of course, my dear friend tom brady's not just returning for the love of the game. he's also set to make $25 million next season. ( audience reacts ) which is, coincidentally, what you'd have to pay 'me' to go to tampa. ( laughter ) it's lovely! i don't even know where that joke comes from! this is great news for the n

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! rs and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: please have a seat. thank you very much. up there, down here, oh, ladies and gentlemen,s so nice to have you here. welcome. welcome, everybody, to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. it is-- ( cheers and applause ) it is-- today, check your calendars. it is march 15th, otherwise known as the ides of march, and i invite the russian oligarchs in putin's inner circle to celebrate the day in whatever way seems most appropriate. ( cheers and aplause ) i'm-- i'm not going to tell you what it is. just take a stab at it. ( laughter ) putin's war has been brutal and monstrous for ukraine, but it's also not going so great for russia. almost all of the russian advances in ukraine remain stalled. in fact, u.s. intelligenc ( applause ) yes, i agree, i agree. why not? let us celebrate while we can. in fact, u.s. intelligence actually intercepted the latest progress report from the russian military: and... the invasion is

and now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: good to see you. what's going on? happy tuesday! hello, christopher. hello, paul. hey, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: dang, it feels good to be live! right there. welcome, ladies and gentlemen. thank you so much. >> audience: stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: come on. that's a live crowd right there. >> jon: yeah! >> stephen: thank you. ( cheers and applause ) please have a seat everybody. thank you so much. welcome, one and all-- ladies and gentlemen, please. wooo! welcome, one and all to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) as you can see right there, that means legally we are live after joe biden's first official state of the union address. and let me tell you: it was a roller-coaster ride of rip- roaring reasonableness. keep in mind, a week ago, this was going to be a totally different speech. but when ukraine was invaded, the world changed. because righ

>> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight, martha stewart takes the colbert questionert! plus stephen welcomes ambassador marie yovanovitch! and musical guest rex orange county, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! nice to see you! ( cheers and applause ) oh, my! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hello! hello, joe. hello, louis. good to see you. welcome one and all. ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the late show," i'm your host stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) we may be the home of the brave here in the united states, but you've gotta admire the toughness of the ukrainian people. ( cheers and applause ) when putin launched his monstrous war, everyone was saying kyiv would fall within 48 to 72 hours. but it's day 15, and they're still standing strong. ( cheers and applause ) even with 150,000 of putin's soldiers in the country, the russians control, at most, about 10% of ukrai

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, what's up? hello, friend. hello. what's up? what's going on, lewis? what's going on. happy tuesday. please have a seat, ladies and gentlemen. thank you. ladies and gentlemen, welcome, everybody to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. and we right now-- is this true? i do have this right-- we are almost five weeks into russia's three-day conquest of ukraine and while putin's monstrous war against the ukrainian people continues to grind on, there have been some interesting developments in the peace talks taking place in istanbul. here's one thing: to signal their willingness to compromise, the russians have announced they will sharply reduce military activity near kyiv. an area where-- and i'm sure this is just a coincidence-- they are getting their ass handed to them by the ukrainians. ( applause ) nothing to do-- in a related story from march madness, after losing to north carolina, st. peter's has announced they will sharply reduce

and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) >> stephen: what's going on? happy monday! ( audience chanting stephen ) >> stephen: ladies and gentlemen, thank you. you're too kind. please have a seat, my friends. welcome one and all to "the late show." i'm your shows stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) it's monday, unless you're chris rock, because i'm pretty sure he got slapped into next week. ( rim shot ) >> stephen: early in the monologue for a rim shot. thank you. for those of you who missed it, last night chris was presenting the oscar for best documentary, and he made an unflattering joke about jada pinkett smith that her husband, will, apparently did not like. what makes me think that? this. >> wow. wow. will smith just smacked the ( bleep ) out of me. >> stephen: wow, indeed. that's the worst thing will smith has ever done. wait, i forgot about "wild, wild west." ( laughter ) ( applause ) he's not here, is he? ( laughter ) i'm kidding, obviously. the worst thing he's ever

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: there you go. there you go. welcome, everybody. please have a seat. ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much. thank you, thank you, my friend, up here, down there. welcome, welcome one and all to "late show"." i am your host, stephen colber ( cheers and applause ) some of you may not have noticed, but i'm a comedian. and it's right there on my taxes. and as such, i've got a lot of comedy idols, many of whom i've had the honor to meet, thanks to this job right over there: steve martin, john cleese, elmo. he just tickles me. ( laughter ) but i've got a new comedy idol-- thank you. and my new comedy idol is volodymyr zelensky. he was a comedian, very successful comedian for many years. ( cheers and applause ). normally, i'm against electing comedians to political office-- and keep in mind, i ran for president twice. ( laughter ) but this guy is inspiring the world with his courage in the face of the russian invasion, and last night, he took his b

. >>> here are tonight's guests for stephen colbert want more restful sleep? nature's bounty gives you more with sleep3. the first ever triple action sleep supplement with 3 unique nighttime benefits to help you get a great night's sleep and wake feeling refreshed. live bountifully. nature's bounty. >>> college up top. ncaa men's tournament. back after a 24 year absence. the coach, in indianapolis, back and forth with murry state in white. four minutes left. murry state with a lead. taking the turnover and kevin brown made them pay. >> the 7th seed, fleeing for the 10th seated team. going wild at the end of the game. tying the game. he scored 36. scoring in overtime. trading buckets. the last college game. up one but they could not stop kj williams, down low. gave them the lead for good. they win it 92-87 to advance the second round and end the usf season. >> i just think knowing that this last game, just leaving it out there. that is what i tried to do. making many shots, i think, getting down, crunch time, over time, i did not want to leave and regrets out t

>> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." toight: tanks but no tanks. plus, stephen welcomes: elle fanning. and ben schwartz featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: nice to see you. thank you for being here. hello, my friends. hello! thanks, everybody. isn't that pleasant. isn't that pleasant right there. lovely people. welcome, welcome,s one and all, in here, out there, all around the world, on ship-to-shore radio. welcome to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) how many, how many weeks now? five. we are five weeks into russias' unlawful and brutal invasion of ukraine, russia still cannot overcome ukraine's fierce resistance-- also, their basic incompetence. their ground forces are-- and i don't want to get too technical here-- a bucket of hot doo-doo. ( laughter ) and now, evidentally, they're running low on equipment, including camouflage, which is why they've resorted to using tr

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. >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight: commander in speech. stephen welcomes: michael buble and rose matafeo featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: wooo! >> stephen: friends, friend, hello! hello up there. down here. ( cheers and applause ) great way to start the day. happy wednesday. happy wednesday. happied with. happy wednesday. ladies and gentlemen, welcome one and all to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) tomorrow-- is this tomorrow? tomorrow marks three weeks? tomorrow marks three weeks since putin invaded ukraine, and the russian military stukk remains bogged down, so they've changed their tactics to just unadulterated terrorism. the kremlin denies that they're terrorizing the civilian population, but kyiv mayor and former heavyweight champion, vitaly klitschko, politely disagrees. >> putin says he's only targeting military targets. >> (bleep)! sorry... >> stephen: no n

. >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight: plus, stephen welcomes: ambassador michael mcfaul denee benton and musical guest father john misty featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: good people you have here. nice friends you've got here. hey! welcome. welcome, everybody. so nice to see all your shining faces in here, out there, all around the world. welcome to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. ladies and gentlemen-- ( cheers and applause ) it hs now been two weeks since russia began its brutal, illegal invasion of ukraine. this is a vast human tragedy, and there are no winners in war, but so far, the loser is russia. they have faced unbelievable resistance by the brave ukrainian people, who have kept putin from meeting what he apparently thought would be easy military objectives. where putin has succeeded is in uniting the entire free world against t

welcome to "the late show," i'm stephen colbert.'t know how you spent "your" weekend, but i spent it watching "the hunt for red october" on a loop. i've even been working on my russian accent: ( scottish accent ) "a wee das vedanya to ya, lassie." because, you see, the cold war is back in a big way, and the whole world has been gripped by the moving images coming out of ukraine. we've seen scenes of heartbreak and heroism. desperate refugees streaming over the polish border, families taking shelter from the bombs in subway stations, men tried to stop tanks with their bare hands. we knew this was going to happen for weeks, but there's a difference between knowing it's coming and watching it happen. russia's invasion of ukraine is a humanitarian crisis, but it is also a triumph of humanity, because despite all of russia's military prowess, the ordinary people of ukraine will not back down, and the war in ukraine isn't working out the way russia intended. ( cheers and applause ) take that, putin! actually, stop taking anything, and go

. >>> here are tonight's guests for stephen colbert oh, wow, barbara corcoran! good morning. sorry, we don't need any business help now. we're gigillionaires. what? we're gigillionaires now. i don't get it we have at&t business fiber with hyper-gig speeds. but i just... so thanks, but, we're doing great. i'm so happy for you! but i'm just here for my order. oh. entre-pin-eurs? yeah, my bowling team. i like it there's money in puns. do business like a gigillionaire at&t business fiber, now with speeds up to 5-gigs. limited availability in new york city, at&t business fiber, now with speeds up to 5-gigs. ♪ ♪ there's always something new to discover. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ come be a part of it. plan your next vacation at iloveny.com >>> college up top. ncaa men's tournament. back after a 24 year absence. the coach, in indianapolis, back and forth with murry state in white. four minutes left. murry state with a lead. taking the turnover and kevin brown made them pay. >> the 7th seed, fleeing for the 10th seated team. going wild at the end of the game. tying the game. he scored 36. scoring i

available at your local retailer and club. >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. >> thanks for watching. the (contemporary music) - hi everyone, and welcome to the legal help center. this is where we have legal professionals standing by to answer your questions regarding personal injury. so if you've been injured in an accident that was not your fault, like a car accident, or a slip and fall, give us a call right now.

that is true. >> i used >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. >> thanks for watching.onsored by cbs er >> russian state tv is also using clips of tucker carlson on fox news. why would they do that? >> because he sounds like one of the kremlin pundits on the russian state television. in fact, they have described him as practically one of their co-hosts. ♪♪♪ ( reporter speaking russian...) >> at exactly the moment when the emergency powers they awarded to themselves to fight covid started to wane, our leaders began pushfo

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: oh! oh! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: oh! we in it, we in it. >> stephen: and the only was is through it, through it, ( audience chanting ) >> stephen! stephen! stephen! ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody! glad to see you! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) i like it, i like it, it's beautiful. ( piano riffs ) thank you ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much. thank you very much. thank you, friends. thank you. whoo, what a day! ( audience chanting ) >> stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: goodngravy. please have a seat. folks, welcome, in here, out there, all of our viewers around the world. welcome to the "late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) there is no denying it-- it's a dark day. over the last five years, we've seen democracy repeatedly undermined, tragic, unprecedented firestorms, a global pandemic. well, this morning, vladimir putin looked at all of that and said, "hold my vodka." ( la

. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." the edge of retreat plus, stephen welcomes: daniel craig and doris kearns goodwin. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, liiive on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> audience: stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: hello! please, have a seat, everybody. thank you very much. welcome, ladies and gentlemen, one and all, to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) folks, there's a lot going on in the world out there. but of course the is big nail- biter continues to be the face- off with russia, who have 150,000 troops massed on the borders around ukraine. they've been building up for weeks, and nothing has happened yet. it's like season one of "yellowjackets." just eat each other, already. ( laughter ) now yesterday-- spoiler. now, yesterday, russia claimed that they had begun withdrawing forces from the border, but then nato said, "

and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: lovely. >> jon: pow! ( whistles ) ( cheers and applause ) "false start to retirement. unnecessary handsome-ness. penalty is: drink a full-calorie beer." ( laughter ) of course, my dear friend tom brady's not just returning for the love of the game. he's also set to make $25 million next season. ( audience reacts ) which is, coincidentally, what you'd have to pay me to go to tampa. ( laughter ) this is-- it's lovely-- it's a lovely place. it's lovely! i don't even know where that joke-- i don't know where that joke comes from! this is great news for the n.f.l., but bad news for the guy who bought tom brady's "last" touchdown football for over half a million dollars, just hours before brady announced his comeback. so, it just lost its value immediately. but that guy should have known. when it comes to balls, brady's always been big on deflation. ( cheers and applause ) tom's-- what's that joke mean? what does that-- i don't-- he-- he--

. >> live in land but then you >>> the late show with stephen colbert this next. >> have a gr >> announcer: the following program is sponsored by operation smile. every three minutes, a child is born with cleft lip or cleft palate. in many countries, they can't get the surgery they need. >> interpreter: i feel bad when they stare at her. they say, "look how ugly she is." i feel very happy. i don't know how to explain it. she looks brand-new. >> interpreter: he gets upset when he drinks because it falls out of his mouth. before, he looked so different, but now he looks good, and that makes me happy. he's very handsome now. >> interpreter: people say he was born like a monster. we have prayed for this moment to happen. he's gorgeous, precious - very precious. no one is going to recognize him at home. ♪♪ >> imagine if your child were born with a cleft lip or cleft palate and you were too poor to afford the surgery to repair it. you'd feel helpless, left to watch your child grow up rejected and bullied. that's the heartbreaking reality for parents in the world's poorest countries.

. >> live in land but then you >>> the late show with stephen colbert this next. >> have a gr captioningertainment industry is also taking action following russia's invasion. cnn sister company warner brothers says it will be pausing the release of the film "the batman" in russia over the humanitarian crisis in ukraine. >> since there is no "the batman" release, russian state media made their own. ♪ ♪ ♪ ( "batman" theme song ) ♪ vladman ♪ >> robin robinovich, it's time to de-nazify gotham city. send in tanks. >> holy vatrushka, vladman. gotham has a democratically elected government. di

that is not great messaging from stephen colbert. >> well you know, kayleigh, the liberal elite echog out these cries and complaints from americans who are saying i can afford your policy. i don't want your policy. your policy is crippling my pocketbook, my business, my community, my local economy. your point about the midterms, they will pay for that. all of this at the end of the day for democrats is just dumb trying to get their policies through. now here we are with gas and foreign policy, this is all about getting their socialist agenda through and americans aren't buying it. it's hurting us. that's where they're going to feel the pain, there is a poll than the last day or so, 50% of americans say inflation is their number one concern right appeared as long as democrats try to make this about something else they will lose not just hearts and minds, but the vote of the american people as well. >> no doubt. >> ukraine is shown a pretty radical disparity about how with some reporters using very telling comparisons in their analysis of the war. >> i mean, carly, why? >> i can believ

they are >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. >>> thanks for watching.the news co inues - [announcer] the following program is sponsored by food for the poor. - [voiceover] it's so difficult to look at my children who are so hungry and i can't give them food. - [child voiceover] i'm scared because the trucks aren't careful. the other day, i saw a little boy get killed. - [voiceover] i have a child who doesn't even have a cup of rice to eat. - [child voiceover] if we don't have any money, then we don't eat. that's all. - [voiceover] i don't want anything to happen to them. i ask god for strength so that tomorrow, they can live. - [child] bless us, protect us, and take care of us in jesus' name, amen. - for over 30 years, food for the poor has been reaching out to shine god's love on the poorest of the poor, throughout the caribbean and latin america, but they need our help now to answer the prayers of children and families living on the edge of survival. (wind gusting) (somber music) here in a tiny, isolated village in a barren region of haiti, a little g

. >>> all right, it is almost wednesday, late show with stephen colbert is next. >> thanks for watching the news continues on cbs bay area, have a great night [male announcer] the following program is sponsored by food for the poor. (cinematic guitar music) - [girl speaker] when we don't find food to eat, i feel like fainting. - [woman speaker] today i have nothing. i have no idea what i'm going to feed them. - [boy speaker] i feel like my head is turning. i don't feel good at all. - [woman speaker] many people here have seen their children die. i do not want this to happen to my children. - [woman speaker] we put ourselves on our knees and ask god that people's hearts will be touched, and they will help us. - hi, i'm cheryl ladd. in haiti, guatemala, and other neighboring countries, millions of children go hungry, and right now thousands of helpless girls and boys are starving. for over 30 years, food for the poor has been reaching out to shine god's love on the poorest of the poor throughout the caribbean and latin america. but they need our help now to answer the prayers of children

the late show with stephen colbert is next. captioning sponsored by cbs >> you've just watched the state of the union, but you want more? introducing new from hasbro, the state of the union play set. >> awesome! >> now, you can relive all your favorite moments from the state of the union. >> i nominate judge jackson. >> yay! >> booo! she's a communist! >> with collectible electables, joe biden, kamala harris, bernie sanders, mitch mcconnell, nancy pelosi with battle gavel, and ted cruz with emergency cancun getaway kit. >> we must stand up to dictators. >> i miss my dictator. >> and coming next from hasbro, the republican response play set, featuring...

. >>> here are tonight's guests on the late show with stephen colbert. >>> nba up top and the warriors. best thing that i can say about this 5 game road trip is that it is over. one in four. oh, there was the return of andre after missing 21 straight games because of his back. he got into the game, first quarter, showed range from deep. six points, 16 minutes not going to put a dent in this game. they were more physical. anthony did damage. warriors no inside punch without thompson or green. healthy scratches. steve kerr had nothing further of the no calls and got tossed. did it create a spark? no. committed 17 turnovers, here was adams in the third quarter. bucket and foul, memphis was without him. solidifying the hole on the conference second seed. warriors the third seed for now. dallas is right behind them with six regular season games left. >>> baseball, giants third baseman longoria is having a surgery tomorrow to repair his right index finger, timetable for return is based on how the surgery comes out. >>> there goes another right hand batter. >>> logan webb, giant's opening day

the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> we are all ready.me period and have employees in the bay area and several other u.s. locations return to the office starting the week of april 4. >> apple sets april 11 as a return to office for their employees. >> employees are starting to come back into the office after nearly two years of working from home during the pandemic. ♪ ♪ ♪ ( sung to "closing time" )

plan your next vacation at iloveny.com >>> all right, it is almost wednesday, late show with stephen colberting. the news continues on cbs bay area, have a great night captioning sponsored by cbs >> president biden announcing the u.s. will ban all russian energy imports into the united states, including oil, natural gas, and coal, a move that will further cripple russia's already-struggling economy. >> we're banning all imports of russian oil and gas and energy. that means russian oil will no longer be acceptable at u.s. ports, and the american people will deal another powerful blow to putin's war machine. ( sung to "the beverly hillbillies" theme song )

they are >>> late show with stephen colbert is next. >>> thanks for watching.the news co inues captioning sponsored by cbs >> tesla and space-x founder elon musk sent a surprising message to russian president vladimir putin. his tweet, partially in russian reads, "i hereby challenge vladimir putin to single combat. stakes are ukraine." ♪ ♪ ♪ >> you have selected russia. round one: >> let us fight. >> winner takes ukraine. >> poison underwear! poison underwear! >> crazy tweet! crazy tweet! >> poison sushi! poison sushi! >> whatever this is. >> i have rubles! >> i have dogecoin! >> th a

. >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> thanks for watching, the news continues streaming on cbs bay area, have a good night captioning sponsored by cbs >> north carolina congressman madison cawthorn says federal lawmakers invited him to an orgy and did cocaine in front of him. >> but his republican colleagues disagree, saying, "i've been here a decade. it's one of the most boring places. truly, it's one of the most bainal places you can imagine." >> you're watching c-span 3. it's time for the nurse to turn you. coming up next, the republican agricultural farm subsidies and orgy committee. >> we're here today to clarify rules regarding the flesh pit. >> point of order. >> the speaker recognizes committee chairman and dudgeon master, senator chuck gra

. >>> thank you for watching tonight, the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> continuing streaming good night voiceover: the following is a paid presentation for home title lock. the fbi calls home title theft, one of the fastest growing white collar cyber crimes in america. i just call it despicable and the consequences can be devastating. i could not believe that we actually were getting evicted from our home that we did not sell. there were several things that was left in the house, family pictures,

. >>> thank you for watching, the late show with stephen colbert is next. >> news continues streaming on cbs news bay area, have a good night captioning sponsored by cbs >> "the washington post" is reporting that white house records turned over to congressional investigators show a seven-hour gap in president trump's phone logs from the day of the deadly siege on the u.s. capitol. >> there is a listing at 11:17 a.m. the president talked on a phone call to an unidentified person. ( phone ringing )

. ♪ ♪ >>> the late show with stephen colbert is next.the accounting firm that has worked with the trump organization for years is cutting ties and says it can no longer stand behind a decade of financial statements from the former president's company. in a letter released as part of a disclosure from new york attorney general leititia james' civil investigation into the trump organization, mazar's u.s.a. said the work they did from 2011 to 2020 should not be relied on. >> hi! are you under investigation by state and federal authorities for tax fraud? and your personal accountants for over 10 years have sold you down the river? then look no further than-- ( horn beeps ) go around! manston & manston accountants. i'm both of them. we'll represent you, no questions asked, from the comfort ur m

. >>> here are tonight's guest on the late show with stephen colbert my auntie called me. she said uncle's had a heart attack. i needed him to be here. your heart isn't just yours. protect it with bayer aspirin. be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. >>> green will be a poplar color around town for saint patrick's day. not tonight however with the bo point birthday outburst on monday. tonight, could not have been more of a 180. second quarter, celtics up 8. a dangerous play. smart, dives at the foot of steph. curry jumps up quick. must of felt something as soon as he put pressure on it. you see him hobbling, take another look at it. he was not happy with this one at all. initially curry was questionable to return but after being checked out during halftime was ruled out. he had just three points, the results from his mri, it matters more than the result of this one. smart lobs it up. robert williams slams it home. celtics win 110-88. >> i thought it was a dangerous play. i thought marcus dove into steph's knee and that is what i was upset about

. ♪ >> reporter: this year, jazz artist and "late show with stephen colbert" band leader jon batisteions with 11 including album and record of the year. ♪ but it's newcomer olivia rodrigo who is expected to win big with seven nominations. >> olivia was the breakout artist of last year. she had the killer song, she had the killer story, she had the familiarity from being in "high school musical." >> reporter: along with rodrigo, bts, lil nas x, billie eilish, brothers osbourne, and h.e.r. are some of the artists expected to perform. >> i'm excited to see anybody on stage. that's what makes the grammys amazing is it's basically the year's biggest all-around concert. >> reporter: this year's show doesn't come without a little drama. rapper ye, formerly known as kanye west, has been barred from performing, but with five grammy nods can still attend the show. >> not all the awards he is nominated for are in the main show. but album of the year certainly is. and if he wins that or a different televised award again, he could walk up, he can say heaven knows what. >> reporter: rock group foo