before we go to the break, let's check in with our stock market expert, michael kosta, everybody! ] good to see you, michael. what is happening in the market today? >> i am crushing it. i mean, i am crushing it like a 19-year-old me used to crush adderall pills getting ready for the big party i was not invited to. am i right? also got a hot tip for you. the big financial news today is that albertsons has been acquired by kroger, and if this deal goes through, they will become the second biggest grocery chain in america right after walmart. okay? before we get to that, want to talk to you about that flirting juror in michigan. >> trevor: yeah, yeah. >> that is not flirting. she was just being nice. people in new york think someone is flirting just because they haven't pushed you down the stairs, okay? she's just being midwest nice. i am from michigan! okay? i know about eye bleeping? was she doing this? >> what are you doing? >> see how good i am at i [bleep]? kosta gets the girl's eyes wet, which technically is crying, but it's a very -- it is a moist e eye. let's get to kroger. kr

let's check in with our finance expert, michael kosta, everybody! ] michael, what is happening in the market today? >> well, like a fat bear on a scale, i'm crushing it, everybody. and i've got a hot tip for you. i got a hot tip for you. before we get into this, fat bear week. here's a question. why are people voting? we have the information from the scale. doesn't that tell us who the fattest bear is? my the only one watching this story? we have a scale, the scale tells us who the fattest bear is. there's no need to vote. officer, officer, i know your radar gun says i was going 100, but can we just take a vote on this first? come on. [laughter] 's call it what it is, trevor, these bears, they are depressed. think about it, they overeat, they sleep for months, it always seem upset, they freak out when you point a hunting rifle at their cub. they are unhinged, dude! >> trevor: that's an interesting way to see bears. to go to want to talk about money? >> trevor: let's talk about money. >> let's talk about money. uber and lyft -- i'm an expert on this t

back to you, trevor. >> trevor: michael kosta, everybody. would make a comeback, we will take a look at the abortion scandal that is rocking the republican party, so don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪ the walls start shaking, the earth was quaking ♪ ♪ my mind was aching and we were making it ♪ ♪ and you shook me all night long ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah, you shook me all night long ♪ ♪ ♪ and knocked me out i said, you shook me ♪ get 5 boneless wings for just $1 with any burger. only at applebee's. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. ahhh...the fresh scent of delivering love in the morning... plus, the extra cash for drew here doesn't smell bad either. ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ come seek the royal caribbean. how to prep for a first date. have a shaving accident. fix shaving accident. keep your cool because you booked your ride ahead. introducing uber reserve. get your ride right. so wendy's biggie bag is all this food for just 5 bucks and we're not calling it the reggie bag? ohhh, no. what if it's “the reggie bush.” definitely not. the “biggie number five bu

back to you, trevor. >> trevor: michael kosta, everybody.meback, we will take a look at the abortion scandal that is rocking the republican party, so don't go away. [cheers and applause] how to prep for a job interview. find the perfect outfit. ruin it. keep your cool because you booked your ride ahead. introducing uber reserve. get your ride right. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ come seek the royal caribbean. ♪just the two of us♪ ♪we can make it if we try♪ ♪just the two of us♪ the lg washtower redefine laundry in half the space. ♪building castles in the sky♪ ♪just the two of♪ ♪ well well you ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ you make my dreams come true ♪ ♪ you you you you you ♪ get 5 boneless wings for just $1 with any burger. only at applebee's. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." ever since donald trump took over, the republican party has been falling further and further away from everything they stood for. all right? they used to be about fiscal responsibility, conservative values, and overthrowing the occasional mideast country. but

before we go to a quick break, let's check in on the stock market with our very own finance expert, michael kosta [cheers and applause] michael, crazy time, man. crazy time in the markets. what's happening? >> i am crushing it. you might need to call the rescue rat, because my crashing has caused a lot of people to be trapped under rubble. so. >> trevor: it sounds like your financial advice has buried people in debt to. >> well, if you want to get out of that debt, i got a hot tip for you, so stay tuned, okay? >> trevor: let's do it. speaker this week, multiple corporations had their third quarter earnings report which included google and microsoft, both of whom had disappointing numbers, but before we get into that, the rescue rats, i found this story so useful. when my landlord came by to evict me because of a rat infestation, i told him, you are wrong. i'm actually training an elite group of search and rescue rats. it brought me 24 hours. you are right, animals are amazing! pigs can hunt truffles, dolphins are helping the navy with their sonar. my dog, he will like peanut butter off my body wh