elon musk is an all our dms, and ronny chieng throws eggs at halloween.s do this, people, let's jump straight into today's headlines. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] all right, people, i'm gonna be honest, with all the news happening right now, i don't think we have enough space in today's show. and i tried everything. everything i could. i even tried putting all the news in a panini press and smushing it down, but it didn't work. the news just became crispier and more delicious. we still don't have enough time. fortunately, not enough time is just enough time for a segment we call "ain't nobody got time for that." [cheers and applause] all right, let's kick things off with the war in ukraine, where ukrainian forces are continuing to make gains on the ground against russia, and russia is continuing to make gains in scaring the shit out of everybody. >> tonight, vladimir putin personally overseeing moscow's first major nuclear drills since he invaded ukraine. simulating a massive nuclear strike. and for the first time, putin issuing an ominous and unfounded warn

ronny chieng will get into a major pillow fight and every judge just made a guy from the 60s has bitchmaggie haberman is here to told us what he told her to her face. let's do this, people. let's jump straight in today's headlines. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> trevor: all right. before we get into the big stores, let's catch up on a few other things going on in the world. starting off with big news out of the retail industry. goodwill, the famous donation store, has launched its own e-commerce site, where you can buy secondhand items online. yeah, so if you are looking to buy back a short for $0.40 but then pay $20 in shipping, you are in luck. this is great. you know, it's good to see them expanding, they do really good work. but you have to admit, thrift shopping online is not the same as doing it in person. got to be there to see the patterns, feel the fabric, smell that secondhand sweat. someone's grandpa. and an international news, and irishman just became the first person ever to row a boat from new york city to ireland. yeah. it took him four months. but he said it was still bet

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we go to a break, it's time to check in on all the latest social media trends with our very own ronny chiengerybody! [cheers and applause] good to see you again, my friend. what's happening online? >> hey, trevor, thanks a lot. before we begin, just want to check, do you have any major announcements you want to make first? any emotional or life-changing decisions about your professional life that you might want to talk about before i get started? >> trevor: actually, yes, there is one thing i've had on my mind. >> shut the [bleep] up! no more announcements! let me get through this one segment without becoming a surprised face meme again with a stupid curb your enthusiasm music. very original. memes are the comedy of lesser minds. let's get to those social media trends or whatever. this long weekend, it's fun times on the internet as usual. kanye west going off the rails again. his beard is clearly not helping. he looks like half a slice, just sending out this tweet. as we have already examined, yes, a lot to unpack here. first of all, anytime you are writing something in lowercase and then y