good strong penis. there's nothing wrong with my penis.s something wrong with it, that doesn't have anything to do with my gun. are you saying there's something wrong with me that has to do with my gun? because i will shoot you with my tiny, wrong penis. i mean my gun." meanwhile, jesus: the original nepo baby. fans of the j-man just got some new backstory, because after deciphering an ancient manuscript, experts discovered something called "the infancy gospel of thomas," part of the biblical apocrypha, which are stories that did not make it into the bible, and in it, there is an account of jesus as a boy. and we, is this true? we have a sample of the manuscript: "and lo, the virgin said unto the christ child "what do you mean you don't like bananas? yesterday you were running around saying "i'm banana boy." and, yeah, she did hand him a pop-tart." yeah. yeah. not, yea. yeah. [laughter and applause] meanwhile, "a boater found $1 million worth of cocaine with bald eagles on it floating in the florida keys." and that brick of cocaine with a

it's how gigantic everyone knows your penis is. story so far is about algerian boxer imane khelif, who's been doing a great job in the women's boxing tournament. some people would say, too good. >> some critics questioning whether khelif should have been allowed to compete in that ring at all, and claiming that khalife is a man or transgender, something ioc officials have emphatically denied. >> the algerian boxer was born female, was registered female, lived her life as a female, boxed as a female, has a female passport. this is not a transgender case. >> michael: seems pretty open and shut to me. she was born a woman, lives as a woman, and boxes other women. so what is the argument against that? >> this is such an outrage. look at this. this is a man. this is a man who is competing in the boxing tournament for women. >> michael: no, she's not. she's a woman. she's a woman like you, megyn kelly. a woman at the peak of her career, unlike megyn kelly. [cheers and applause] she still is a woman. >> you can easily say, listen, you can

just like trump's penis.an: okay, look, i don't think it's going to be effective to ignore policy and just accuse your opponents of having small dicks. i mean, whatever happened to "when they go low, we go high"? >> oh, yeah, whatever happened to that brilliant 2016 strategy that totally worked out for them? face it, jordan. taking the moral high ground doesn't work anymore. just like trump's dick! [airhorn] >> jordan: great political discourse. ronny chieng, everybody. when we come back, we try to interview tim walz. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] (♪♪) at carmax, we offer no-haggle pricing which means you — wait, wait no, where are you going? that's not carmax, that's beetlemax. you can't trust beetlemax! you're going the wrong way! i said that's beetlemax! uh-oh, i said it three times. the juice is loose. carmax. the way car buying should be. beetlemax. the way car buying shouldn't be. (♪♪) ok, 500 deluxe garden gnomes. wow. i only meant to order five. there's not enough money in my account for the

and his mandible penis caught the bar.sn't doing hurdles, because that would have been incredibly painful. >> yeah. and a quick sporting question purely, do we know if he actually reached the semi or. oh, hello. >> look at this in the final section. just coming in with the gags. >> pure sporting question . and i >> pure sporting question. and i did see the video, by the way. i didn't seek it out but it kept popping up didn't seek it out but it kept popping up on my twitter. he says a strange thing. he says the strange algorithms you have. >> yeah, yeah. >> yeah, yeah. >> no, it's the other stuff i've been looking at for so many years, he said. today i missed my competition. i knew that this qualification was going to be tough, and now i'm taking it in the face. is that he thinks it's better him than me. >> i wonder if i wonder if the olympic committee have decided on his gender yet. oh well. exactly. yes. competing. that was. we are talking about the female pole vault. of course. he's a. yeah. >> anyway it's on pornhub now

>> along but a short penis a woman he sent me a picture of her ass in these so i sent lima being humanpeach. >> along but leggings no more they were priced at $98 that have long but. >> of your spending that much on a pair leggings a better with a pair of hands holding up your back antelopes because that's way too much money you can buy the ones like the little sweetheart booty pants on amazon for $12 that got the semen the cinch that accentuates. >> right is a buddy wearing those i'm like i know what you are doing. >> these leggings at a v-shaped rear which extends up the lower back creating an unflattering visual distortion of your but which some described as a whale tale. >> celine nida arrow to the but. i'm buying hundred dollar leggings i will be frank i go to muffin top and the pandemic and i'm having trouble getting rid of it amassed more if i am pregnant than you actually are so i ain't showing money for that. >> tyrus, you going to wear these? >> listen i didn't write that but somebody on the staff did. >> i know who to do this deal with, jean you are dead let a guy say 1 thin

keir said that 1 in 1000 women have a penis and david lammy says men can grow a cervix. transphobic to say only women have a cervix? david i don't know if it's transphobic, but it's not. >> accurate. nick i mean obviously you it's probably the case that only that trans women don't have ovaries, but a cervix. i understand, is something that you can have following various procedures . following various procedures. >> someone can have a penis. >> someone can have a penis. >> they come not i don't think we can conduct this debate with you. no, sorry, i get offended. you know . no, no, it's just no, you know. no, no, it's just no, no, no, i just i don't know if david lammy thinks he's got a cervix , but if he's in the cervix, but if he's in the bathroom with a little mirror looking up there, i don't know what he's finding. >> also, nick lowles , the head >> also, nick lowles, the head of extremist group hope not hate spread a dangerous rumour that muslim women were being targeted by far right thugs with acid attacks. he said reports are coming in of acid being thrown out of a

let's get more on the story from dw reporter penis java finish. what do these tens of thousands of people on the street mean for the government of shape? because, you know, many fact these protests today in tucker and in other parts of bangladesh have just add it to one more, which would be one of the worst crisis that the government actually cuz we know hosp feast and how 15 years then. yeah, this now pauses serious challenge to the leadership of she had coffee now the speak to us at the see on the screen. basically these are just revival of the student to test movement that started basically against the government court system . with this revival that the seat on the screen is basically calling for accountability of it least 200 people that has been killed in these drug tests. but and for this protest protector, fit a good because of the crack. don't bite the but not the she said melissa, out of the, to at least $175.00 a. the dead bodies that's for analyze, but they're all switched to analyze by up organization use bit. but according to that da

that's a penis got arms. it's prehensile . it can arms. it's prehensile. it can move around. of muscles. yeah absolutely. >> this show is nearly over. let's take another quickly after that. let's take another quick look at tuesday's front pages. daily telegraph violent criminals allowed to just say sorry. the guardian revealed staggering rise in anxiety among children. the times police have given up on punishing shoplifters daily mirror don't be sorry . shoplifters daily mirror don't be sorry. smile. it's been fantastic. bye bye sven and the daily express farage warns of shocks to come in labour budget and finally, the daily star. this is our last chance to stop the psycho killer robots. those were your front pages. that's all we have time for. thank you to my guests , leo and kerry, and to my guests, leo and kerry, and i'll be here again tomorrow with 11 at 11 pm. with kerry again and nick dixon . if you're and nick dixon. if you're watching at 5 am, stay tuned for breakfast. otherwise, thank you and good night. >> that warm feeling inside from boxt boilers sponsors of weath

and i think, you know, plastics. >> are you sure you can't get an artificial penis? >> you can.ring you one right now. >> really ? yeah. >> really? yeah. >> really? yeah. >> moving on now. let's move on. >> moving on now. let's move on. >> that's a really good idea. let's move on. >> moving on to the times kyrie. what have they got in the front? >> top academics attack labour for failing to protect free speech. so this was the plan to tackle cancel culture in universities and looked like it was all going ahead and then bridget phillipson who is the education secretary, has decided to suspend this legislation because it would have forced universities to defend free speech on campus , which would be speech on campus, which would be terrible . i mean, oh wow, did it terrible. i mean, oh wow, did it really come to that ? really come to that? >> oh, wow. >> oh, wow. >> we nearly had free speech in a place where people should be making arguments and discussing ideas. and of course, the problem with it that she has identified, which, you know, of course, is the big thing of our times i

during one of the attempts , he knocked down the bar with his penis.was assumed in social networks, but everything is okay with him in life. imosk elephant. david and goliath. a grotesque situation happened during a judo tournament. the two-meter french thedier riner, whose weight is 145 kg, and the south korean athlete lee yong-hwan, who is only 1.75 and weighs 82 kg, met in the match. the difference in weight is 62 km. predictably, the match ended in favor of the frenchman, who simply pinned his opponent. hostages gen. with scandals competitions among female boxers were held. italian angela carini stayed in the ring for only 46 seconds in a fight with transgender imam khelif from algeria and refused to continue the fight. at the previous world cup, khalif was disqualified due to the presence of male xy chromosomes. italian prime minister george maloni even expressed her protest. sitora turdibekova, a boxer from... uzbekistan, faced a similar situation. she lost either to the athlete or to the athlete from taiwan lin yuting. the former man simply stat

after all , the american partners, in particular the same peni pritzker , demanded the immediate transfer of the entire customs service to a digital format, and it is precisely through the customs service that several hundred billion hryvnias flow out, which are necessary for defense, and it was emphasized that half of apple's products in ukraine are... gray, half of the household appliances that are sold in stores are gray, they are imported under gray schemes, they, that is, and isn’t this the protection of national interests, if we are talking about how to stop the escape of deputies from the servant of the people faction, then i remember that since the middle of the 22nd year , the chairman of the verkhovna rada has at least 15 applications for the appointment of a deputy. powers, and the exit from the servant of the people faction, the main thing is that these are statements about the conclusion of the parliamentary powers, and for some reason the faction and the chairman of the verkhovna rada do not release these people, as if they are political serfs, so i think that in the future

year-old boy, it doesn't matter what you put in that bathroom, whatever it is, they're going to draw a penisall, and try to flush it down the toilet. it's either that or go to geography and i'm not going to waste my time with that. anyway, tim walz, the governor of minnesota, which is the capital of alaska, doesn't seem to be overtly problematic. which is why republicans are accusing him of hiding something. >> this is a guy who hides behind his flannel jacket. but he's actually a wolf in sheep's clothing who cannot be trusted. >> a progressive in sheep's clothing. >> governor walz is a socialist in sheep's clothing. >> he's a freak in sheep's clothing. >> michael: "he's a freak in sheep's clothing!" that's ridiculous. not like cow's clothing, that's normal. but a sheep? what a freak. [cheers and applause] yeah, i know, it's so good. by the way, isn't sheep's clothing just, like, a wool sweater? i love wearing sheep's clothing in the fall! i can make so many more cute outfits. senior portraits, huh? huron high '98. but yes, tim walz may be a former football coach, a hunter, and guy who looks

service was present, and why not customs service, because the american partners, in particular the same penitzker, demanded the immediate transfer of the entire customs service to a digital format, and precisely through the customs service. several hundred billion hryvnias flow out of the service, which are necessary for defense, well, it was emphasized that half of apple products in ukraine are gray, half of the household appliances sold in stores are gray, they are imported under gray schemes, that is, and isn’t this the protection of national interests, if we are talking about how to stop... the flow of deputies from the servant faction people, i remember that since the middle of the 22nd year, the chairman of the verkhovna rada has at least 15 statements about the termination of the parliamentary powers and the withdrawal from the servant of the people faction, the main thing is that this is a statement about the termination of the parliamentary powers, and for some reason the faction and the chairman of the verkhovna rada these people are not released, as if they are political serfs. th

jerry sadowitz penis in it . jerry sadowitz penis in it.otherwise it doesn't happen. >> yeah. it's nice to hear that. it's nice to hear that they've got the theatre was mostly empty. it's good to hear other people suffering. >> but mostly empty with 60 people in. >> yeah. kidding me. that would be a sell—out night. i'd love 60 people. last year. >> moving on. we've got the daily meal and apparently 20% of teenagers display symptoms of smartphone addiction. and the other 80% hide it well. >> steve. yeah >> steve. yeah >> nearly 1 in 5 teenagers display symptoms of smartphone addiction. seems about right. that number. this is research by king's college london, finds that nearly 1 in 5 teenagers between the ages of 16 and 18 suffer from these. these issues . suffer from these. these issues. so being on whatsapp and gaming doesn't really move the dial much. being on social media leads to depression and anxiety, and that makes a lot of sense because have you seen the world, especially through the twitter lens? compare this to previous studies th

westerners understand this. energy is making demands on us, let me remind you that just a week ago, peni still remains in the post of special representative for the economic recovery of ukraine, who said directly that it is not taxes, but cigarettes, the shadow market of cigarettes, excise goods, alcohol , oil products and customs reform, here is your dear money, it was said directly, and a few days ago the secretary of the treasury of the united states stated that budget funding will depend on the implementation of reforms, our partners are already shouting at us, saying to look for the money, it is inside, but in reality, when you see all these scales of corruption, i emphasize again, only in individual demonstrative cases, we only see the above-water part, then... it remains unclear, let's say, er, despite the good percentage of trust in the authorities on the part of the citizens of ukraine, well, in fact, i am very happy, regardless of party affiliation, in fact, i am very happy, what under during the war, the level of trust in the government remains quite high, but responsibility f

yet happened. the special representative of the united states for the economic recovery of ukraine, penipritzker , completes her mandate on this position at the discussion of the future of the ukrainian economy at the brookings institute , pritzkers made a speech about the work of her team. the official optimistically assessed the economic future of ukraine and cited several facts to confirm kyiv's progress in recent months. today, considering. the scale of russian aggression ukraine is faced with an urgent need to reveal its full potential and break once and for all with the post-soviet economic model. we know that vladimir putin's model is corrupt, it is lawlessness, it is economic it's a mess, it's an anti-democratic and repressive model, it's built on oligarchy and it's collapsing, and it's not the future the ukrainian people want, so the country is doing the hard work of building a new economy even as it fights an existential battle for survival. despite impossible circumstances , ukraine is moving forward in its economic recovery. despite the war with russia, ukraine's gdp grew by

why is the customs service not present, because the partners are american, in particular, the same peni pritzker demanded the immediate transfer of the entire customs service to a digital... format, and it is precisely through the customs service that several hundred billion hryvnias are flowing out, which are necessary for defense, but it was emphasized that half of apple products in ukraine, gray, half of household appliances, which is sold in stores, it is gray, it is imported according to gray schemes, it, that is , isn't it the protection of national interests. if we are talking about how to stop the escape of deputies from the servant of the people faction, then i remember that since the middle of the 22nd year, the chairman of the verkhovna rada has had at least 15 statements about the termination of parliamentary powers and withdrawal from the servant of the people faction, the main thing is that this statement about the conclusion of deputies' powers, and for some reason the faction and the chairman of the verkhovna rada do not release these people. they are political serfs, so

polyphenols - improve the production of nitric oxide, which improves, in addition to filling the penisand erection. this is a normal erection. in short, polyphenols, which are contained in pine nuts, protect a man from this dramatic situation, let's move on to the topic of 16 children in the kanavalov family. mustard, and pine nuts also contain zinc, and zinc affects the production of sperm, their activity, their number and movement, because zinc is responsible for the movement of the tail, the sperm, which must at any cost achieve his goal, and his goal is the female egg cell, look, this is our spermatage, it does not move if there is no zinc. if there is enough zinc in the sperm, then in principle, our ship sails to distant shores, dear friends, they conducted huge studies on this topic, in china they took 2600 disembodied men and 860 one normal man, they accurately found that in disembodied men the amount of zinc in the ejaculate sharply with... give us zinc in pine nuts, we have a podium of honor, dear friends, on the podium of honor we have pine nuts, walnuts and almonds, pine nut

vast majority of women this is a purely biological issue, and of course, for such a most don't have a penis even in such basic questions the british labor government stumbles, there is a fear in society that this idea will be turned upside down and they will... protect not women, but two-meter gentlemen in skirts who consider themselves ladies and want to use the ladies' room, it is already dangerous to contradict them, there were cases when people were fired from work for refusing to call misters miss, now such a mistake can be considered transphobic and misogynistic at the same time, you can sit down under two articles at once. i think that in we will end up with women themselves being charged with crimes of misogyny for saying that men can't... be women, i had a woman come to me, she wanted to be seen by a woman in the hospital, but they sent her a man who identifies himself as a woman, and if she complains, she could be charged with an extreme misogynistic crime. another question: where to put all these new-fangled wife-haters, if the definition of extremism is still expanded at their e

remind you that the representative, the special representative for the reconstruction of ukraine, peniriskr , emphasized that now is not the time to raise taxes, it is necessary first of all to carry out customs reform, and from there you can get significant income to the treasury, well, absolutely, it's just that the easiest method is always to absorb more from the people, well, you have to understand that the people too, we don't have the kind of income that we had, let's say, before the full-scale invasion, those who have real incomes, they are hidden where you did not get them. neither the ministry of finance, nor the tax office, nobody, they are generally hidden outside of ukraine, and those people who have accumulated something for themselves somewhere there, they will not give more than they can, they will close the business, they will sit at home and eat buckwheat, they will not give, they will just give everything away, so look for those who steal, or who build schemes in which very huge flows go into their pockets, well , you mentioned such entanglements, about certain misund

is interesting, the special representative of the united states for the reconstruction of ukraine, peniritzker, was in ours this week. the state, and it says that there is money, and we are ready to give it, but how to explain to the american people to the taxpayers in the states that this money goes specifically for specific purposes and specifically for certain tasks, and to account for every penny, by the way, we too , journalists voicing these numbers of grant funds, or loan funds or other financial programs, we are voicing the numbers, but i still want to see from the authorities. calculation, i repeatedly talk about it in my releases, where a dollar went to here, and where two went here, report, report to the states, please, because penny pritzker says, the money will be delayed. to start already, thank god, they somehow extinguished this story, but if the story had not gained publicity, but from the start people appear who want to steal from the start, and the americans will look, think, oh, yes, what is wrong with our sinners, we are already afraid to ask in general, well, these

an inevitable story as of now for the ukrainian economy, or perhaps it would be worth listening to peni'sds. who noted that ukraine has other sources of possible income, which we have not yet touched, well, half a trillion money is not enough for defense security, this is true, for some reason it is often mistakenly called a deficit of the state budget, no, you and i have the deficit of the state budget is 1.6 trillion, this is what we actually compensate at the expense of... macro-financial aid loans in the 23rd last year we received 42 billion dollars, this year it is 37 billion dollars, half of it, and that money goes entirely to... social payments owed by the state to its citizens, and there are also salaries of state employees that are not related to security and defense , but you just need to understand that according to the terms of macro-financial assistance, it cannot be used for war, so let's have a good idea about how to reduce the salaries of civil servants and transfer those funds to the military. will not pass simply because this salary is paid on account macro-financial ass

simply spent, to put it mildly , inefficiently, and therefore it is not in vain that we already have penirisker, the special representative of the united states, tells us directly, gentlemen... you have 17 to 31 billion stuck in cigarettes alone, in the black market of cigarettes, you need to deal with the shadow market of alcohol, you need to reform the customs, please look for internal resources, this is your money, which should go to the armed forces, that is why the question of the inefficiency of the government is now one of the key ones, and this question is also in principle, who is the government in ukraine and what is the accountability of this government in bloomberg ? published again that the western allies are concerned about the growing influence of such a figure as mr. yermak, andriy yermak, who... has literally very, well, no authority at all under the law, however, everyone basically understands that it is like minimum figure number two in ukraine? well, really in terms of influence, i think that he definitely has more influence than the prime minister of ukraine and the c

it's good to hear the penis kim, she's outside the court for us. and so, so you just tell us about the vetted reached by south careers. constitutional court of the yeah, hi molly. this is a partial victory for the young, plaintive says, the constitutional court has unanimously rules that the government essentially needs to do more to ensure the basic rights of his citizens, which and compasses, the right to life, the pursuit of happiness and environmental rights. it's zoned in on the countries climate crisis law and pointed out that there are no carbon emission reduction on the year 2030. and that that binds against the spirit of the constitution. now this is a judgment that is final. now south korea's you, when a commitment is to cut carbon emissions by 40 percent of 2018 levels. by the year 2030, the court ruled that there was no problem with that river against what the plaintiffs had been saying. but this initial, the initial reaction from the civic groups has been that very careful jubilation with one of the slips. persons breaking down in tear

by the special representative of the united states of america for the economic recovery of ukraine penitzker. during a thematic discussion at the brookings institute. according to her , the short-term financial needs of kyiv should be covered at the expense of revenues from sovereign russian assets frozen in the west. and then her quote. these funds can be directed to military and economic needs, as well as needs related to the recovery of the country in the short term. well, she voiced one more interesting opinion. she said that in the united states of america it is becoming more and more difficult to find funds to provide assistance to kyiv, that is, she says: these funds are available, but it is becoming more difficult to extract them, because it is more difficult to convey to taxpayers the feasibility of allocating these funds to ukraine and transferring them to ukraine. well sorry of course, it is more difficult, but we are grateful that these funds are still given to us. dialogue with the vatican. about the end of the ongoing war in ukraine, masha zakharova, who calls herself the

to be that the use outgoing topics of much appear surprise and libya has turned its back on europe penis, instead of braving russia. and that's the spot, the plump being instrumental in the downfall of it. get off the government and the chaos of civil war that follows the what is, is our international reaching you live from our new center in moscow? i a michael watching now breaking news from solving and gosh, i have pets. the uprising at the correctional facility and the bulk of brad region has been suppressed by special forces for staff members were killed in the hostage drama in a prison in the full grad region. 4 criminals took 8 staff members, and 4 inmates hostage for staff members, suffered stab wounds of varying severity. 3 of them died. another 4 who resisted were hospitalized. one of them later died in the hospital during the special operation to free the hostages conducted by the federal penitentiary service and the national guard or for criminals were neutralized as a result of the bandits, criminal activity for inmates were injured. there were no injuries among the staff inv

potency of a man is responsible for procreation, and the potency of an erection is blood supply to the penis in diameter, so this will protect you from impotence for everyone except those who have urolithiasis, which means manganese is one of the main microelements, we need it incredibly for life , there is a lot of it in sorrel, we have a pedestal of honor, dear doctors, we have different herbs there, picked by michal egorch at his dacha, let’s go, so, dock, rosemary and iceberg lettuce according to margs, according to margansuel in the first place is half the daily requirement, at 100 grams, on the second place, rosemary 0.2, 20%, there is no manganese in the salad at all , unfortunately, there is no manganese, mikhail egorovich grows everything in his garden, his calling in general is agronomy. well, friends, how to choose, how to store and how to eat correctly, these are important questions, but what about choosing a sorrel, you need to burn it in the good sense of the word, that’s why we have an excellent agronomist, an excellent specialist, mikhail rostislavovich vorobyov , mikhail ros

come in different senses, well, to the russian reader, at least, it seems, strong's home translation penisand this is a good word for this collection, the book was published in america in the seventy-third year, after transparent things, this is a collection of his selected interviews, which he himself put together. some of his reviews and it seems to me there is a word about nabokov's love for other authors, there is a wonderful essay on inspiration, where he a tells us how his thought process works, how he came up with adu, from what fragment such a magical text appeared and talks about those who he likes american prose, like in this poem, yes he tells us where on inspiration came from yes it's like only about the novel, not about the poems, and that we learn that the unapproachable... with notlet navokov adored salenger, abdike, cheever, the late john barth, he was a generous reader in fact and the assessments he handed out, they can be harsh, if speech we are talking about thomas man or maxim gorky, and yes, thomas man is my favorite, or in very flattering terms, like sasha sokolov or

i tried to watch this thing to do research and it was like do you have a penis analog me out.g to hate. you don't need to say single cat lady, you can say cat lady. >> is and it disrespectful to deaf people assuming they can't read to? they can't just have captions on there? they don't read apparently? it's a lost art. >> greg: it's kind of interesting to be a deaf person who is also a swifties. maybe that's the best kind. >> that's an excellent point. i feel like it should mean when someone kicks you in the balls. way off topic but that's how i feel. >> in my house it's what you clean the floor with. >> greg: up next doctors say it's true. parenting is killing you. [ applause ] with cascade platinum plus, i have upped my dish game auntie, in that dishwasher? watch me platinum plus gives you the highest standard of clean, even in your machine. clean enough for you? yeah! scrape. load. done. cascade platinum plus. weathertech products are designed and manufactured in america using only american raw materials. most competitors make things seven thousand miles away... and then wo

majority of women, this is a purely biological question, and of course, such a majority does not have a penissince even in such basic questions the british labour government stumbles, then there is a fear in society that this idea will be turned upside down and they will not be defending women, but two-meter-tall gentlemen in skirts who consider themselves ladies and want to use the women's restroom, it is already dangerous to contradict them, there have been cases when people were fired from work for refusing to call misters miss, now such a mistake can be considered transphobic and misogynistic at the same time. at once on two counts: i think that in the end we will come to the point where women themselves will be accused of crimes of misogyny for saying that men cannot be women. a woman came to me, she wanted to be examined by a woman in the hospital, but they sent her a man who positions himself as a woman, and if she complains, she can be accused of an extreme misogynistic crime. another question is where to put all these new misogynists, if the concept of extremism will still be expande

amman with the world's largest penis revealed the way made his life difficult. we chose the right now but i'm busy. who got that joke the ark and it is a joke. president biden is on his second straight week of vacation. he would get more rest if not for the local kids who keep poking him with a stick to see if he is alive. stephen king mocked elon musk on acts after one of his rocket launches was delayed. but king should stick to what he does best. scaring people. with his face. some people dispute the claim that kamala harris worked at mcdonald's in the past. meanwhile mcdonald's claims a record show just one clown working there. philadelphia police suspect a couple was getting busy and accidentally hit the gearshift of their car sending it into a river. it sounds unbelievable. having sex with a person from philadelphia. the burning man festival and drew a massive crowd with an dome. many people don't know why they went but something definitely came over them. crowd gorin. [ crowd groaning ] speed and no apologies. found she was hot splice with west nile, the d

it is so hot in new york that the pantless guy on the subway is wearing his linen penis.er] it's breathable. but it wrinkles like crazy. and it's not just here. 265 million americans are facing temperatures in the high 90s, thanks to a phenomenon known as a "heat dome," which our very own cbs senior weather producer david parkinson described as "hot, hot heat." thank you, david, for that informative, informative information. to stay safe, the national weather service is advising people to go indoors and hydrate. and just in case, get a fan, a fainting couch, and say, [southern accent] "oh, lordy! i have the vapors! i have a brain fever!" it doesn't look like it's cooling down anytime soon. scientists warn heat waves will be longer, more intense, and more frequent. so, good news for mrs. heatwave. i assumed... really? you can make anything... [applause] anything can be a sex joke. i assumed the weather channel would be naming the heat dome like they do the winter storms, but they dropped the ball on this one. it's no surprise, because balls do tend to drop when it's this h

it's the kind of thing, i'm a pianist, or am i a penis-ist? [ laughter ] it's juvenile. anyway.hy's jon voight so angry? [ laughter ] i don't need an answer. do you have any pets? >> i do, a dog. >> what kind of dog? >> it's a goldendoodle. >> a goldendoodle! >> yes. >> how macho. [ laughter ] i bet john wayne had a few goldendoodles. you've had colonoscopies? >> i have, yeah. >> sean hannity told me he had a colonoscopy, and the only thing they found was his own head. ha ha ha ha! i really get political. you have a birthday coming up, don't you, big guy? you have a birthday coming up. >> i do. >> how old are you going to be? >> i'm going to be 54. >> okay, sure. i can't wait to turn 24. oh, delusion, delusion. look what we have for you, oh my god, look what we have. look what we have for you. >> that's a happy birthday -- >> and i'm going to cut -- >> wow, thank you, that's so nice. >> -- a piece for you, and then i'm going to keep this. here you go. >> okay, thank you, wow. >> happy birthday, sean hayes. >> thank you. >> and happy birthday to all the people out there who are d

and he kept talking about a woman having a penis or pretty much having a penis or pretty much havingetty much having a big woman. so he's obviously frederick said edwina hit the nail on the head. two turkey is thin skinned in there and the loony left will tear him apart. so nice on edwina. now go boil an egg. yeah, well, i mean that one. edwina. she'll find that one. edwina. she'll find that funny , though. edwina has that funny, though. edwina has got a good sense of humour. >> a great sense of humour about that one. and meanwhile, grumpy grandad. good morning, grumpy grandad. good morning, grumpy grandad. i'm talking to you again. but be careful. says starmer is thin skinned. you can tell he would be easy to wind up. he would bite, hook, line and sinker. i would have a field day with him, given half the chance. well eileen is talking about health checks. >> she says giving people health checks at work is not so much a nanny state as a communist china. next, they'll be getting to us do tai chi in car parks. but then what do you expect from a bunch of marxists ? she calls a bunch of

picture. [ laughter ] a french pole vaulter missed out on a chance to win an olympic medal when his penis caught on the crossbar and knocked the bar down. the same thing happened to me at the 100 meter dash. i kept tripping. that joke is really beneath me! [ laughter ] with tension rising between iran and israel, joe biden is meeting with his national security team in the situation room answering critics who said he couldn't go to a different room. [ laughter ] that's a great joke! and harrison ford says acting in "captain america iv" required not caring and being an idiot for money. yeah, i know the type. [ laughter ] all right. wake up, people! so it's amazing how far kamala harris has come since she entered the race given that she's done nothing. [ laughter ] instead of hiding in the basement she's hiding behind megan thee stallion's butt. harris hasn't change. she's the same kamala no one voted for. now three weeks ago, trump was nearly killed, and two weeks before that trump had exposed the biggest political scandal ever that the democrat government had covered up the president's dem

circling their problem areas. [ laughter ] >> i love how marty can't pass wet cement without drawing a penis that you can tell a stranger's net worth just by spitting on them. [ laughter ] >> i love how when anyone mentions their wife, marty isn't afraid to say, "i had her first." [ laughter ] >> martin: well, this is really true, and this means a lot, because every time we have ever gone to a restaurant at any time, you always know the female server's name. >> uh-huh. >> martin: no matter what city we're in, and what's amazing is, a, you know their name and, b, they're all named doll face. >> martin: all right, enough of these. >> boy, i'll say. >> martin: okay. well, steve, thank you so much. >> thank you. >> martin: i love that you came to do my first show. >> i love that i, you know, got in the traffic, got all sweaty and got here, and got nervous and worried. anyway, good. >> martin: you should have been. thank you, steven. season 4 of "only murders in the building" premieres august 27. we'll be back with sienna miller. [ cheering ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i got the power of 3. i lowered my a1c, cv risk,