>> or have read john's work and i'm reading a book called love it doomed park about kerry harlow in his work with mccaul and attachment theories. it's really good. i ride in the book about the difficulty of the leaving my mom in the first place and there's a lot of research and attention paid to the kind of maternal impulse to care for a child and that attachment and father stew. the way the parent feels towards the newborn and toward the small child but i think there's less research on the other side of that and just how much, how attached the child feels to their parent and how deeply that connection is felt and what happens after it severed. it was really hard for me to leave my mom and then the first two homes i lived in it was really upsetting when i had to leave them and the body adapts in their bright about the coping response of being blunted and later disconnecting from all emotions and feelings. it's not a conscious deliver it thing but the body reacts in a different way where i shut down from feeling positive emotions and it took a lot of work to overcome. i could feel it som