like you think of tobias wolff writing about, you know, he, he was called jack back in the day, a young toby and he's in concrete washington having there's a great story where his mother is going on a series of dates with abusive men. and this one man comes over early before the and says, you know how i'll i'll be around and we're going go to take great trips and you're going to get a ross bicycle, you know, and he's trying to charm him. and then they had this horrible day in mothers. i don't know what has happened to her, but she's a wreck and miserable and crying and she's in two. she checks in on her son and he listens. the whole thing is completely and the last thing he says, your mom. did you say anything about the ross bicycle, sir? but that ability of the writer to see that kid as as someone outside of himself, in a way mean i guess it is you and it isn't you. and i'm wondering if you can talk about the benefits of arriving at that kind distance. i mean, especially with a story like yours, you know, i mean, well, both of you, but but with such a harrowing story there, how were you abl