and locking him in. 911: i put him down the stairs.

the image of her fainting when she had pneumonia or coughing or tripping on the stairs and also note that chilling text at the end, donald trump will protect you. he's the only one who can. you can set aside the effect of

(sot: shane niccum, shane niccum stairs company) "it's a heavy staircase. there's a lot here." shane can actually tell you a lot of about the ups and downs of this grand staircase because he built it by hand.

you can't even make it up the stairs. is that a fair criticism? >> well, chris, i mean it's just

in this game, the two of pick turns climbing my stairs and dropping two of your colored discs into the drinko board.

the image of her fainting when she had pneumonia or coughing or tripping on the stairs and also note that chilling text at the end, donald trump will protect you. he's the only one who can. you can set aside the effect of that ad is diametrically opposed to what trump said about clinton just two nights ago at the debate.

so, so, my husband's creeping down the stairs, has the baseball bat. i'm at the top of the stairs. i figure out what i need to say to save our lives, and i say, "do you want to come upstairs and play with me?" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what? it sounds like an old chain-smoking lady. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "would you like to come upstairs and play with me?" [ laughter and applause ] "i need you to come back upstairs, and it's time to go play now, honey." [ laughter ] i'm so happy you have an alarm system. i want to say about your show, congrats, season two. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: "life in pieces" is on thursdays at 9:30. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: moved nights, and our pal, colan >> love, love. >> jimmy: and you watched the season premier with him in brooklyn? >> yes, we watched it in brooklyn, him and our other costar, angelique cabral, i inveted them to my mom's house in brooklyn. >> jimmy: that's cool. >> they came. my mom gave them scotch in heros of the torah glassware, which is every glass has a a rabbi, a different rabbi and you can trade them for f

[ cheers and applause ] "don't put up the stairs! don't give him any stairs!" and this was everywhere over the weekend. donald trump's son, don jr., tweeted a photo of himself with his sister, ivanka, and brother, eric, to reach out to the millennial voters. but i'm not sure it came off as friendly as they'd hope. take a look at the photo. yeah. [ laughter ] now, since the picture was designed to attract millennial young people what they thought. here's what they had to say. this first guy said, "that family photo made me smile. it's a good picture." [ laughter and applause ] these -- these sisters said, "we enjoyed this photo very much." [ laughter ] "it made us happy. this picture brought us joy." and, finally, this guy said, "those kids looks messed up, man." [ laughter and applause ] millennial -- no smiles, yeah. saw that hillary clinton got a a new plane. and she told reporters she's so happy to finally have enough room for them to travel with her. then she threw on her noise-cancelling headphones and a two sleep masks and said, "talk to you never." [ lau

. >> people under the stairs. >> some kind of animal, i don't know what kind. >> this is my nightmarese are raccoons and this is real. >> what are you doing? >> i'm checking things out. it's real. >> all right, so we're going to go with real. >> raccoons. >> mac, you agree? >> yeah, these aren't mini monsters. they are raccoons. they are hungry. i don't think they'll be leaving any time soon. this is real, caught in the action. >> all right. see if you can spook us out with this third video. >> on a daytime talk show, just keep looking in the background, keep your eyes peeled for any mysterious happenings. >> i will tell you based on what this person is saying, she's making predictions. she must be a psychic medium, something along those lines. >> whoa! what was that? >> now it's out. >> we look in the back and something just falls. >> it's the intern, passed out. >> some type of ghost, obviously, in the back, you know, causing the set to fall apart right when she happens to be discussing, you know, similar topics. it's unexplainable to me. >> poltergeist doesn't like being talked abo

these stairs. you know what, wait right there. wait, wait, wait. okay, she's potty trained. she goes twice a day. all you have to do is feed her. she likes biscuits and peanut butter. >> okay, i already have dogs. >> now you have another dog, isn't that great? happy halloween. bye, rufus! ? >> trick or treat! >> hey. you guys are soccer players? >> yep. >> yeah. >> excellent. you know what soccer players need? protein. right? >> yeah. >> yeah, okay. hold on, i have just the thing for you. sardines! >> ew. >> yeah. so you can run and run and kick the ball all day with this. >> eat this? >> the kid just ate it just now. you. ? >> trick or treat! >> hello. do you kids have a reservation? >> yes. >> you do? what's your name? >> this is danny. >> mine's dean. >> dean, i don't see you anywhere. we just sat a big party. we have a table for three in about 20 minutes, is that okay? >> okay. >> okay. all right. party of three. and is this a special occasion? >> yes. >> what is it? >> it's halloween. >> oh, halloween, okay. party of three, occasion is halloween. okay. so you hold on to

. >> inside a neaska farmhouse, >> as i started up the stairs there was blood on the walls. >> it was a very brutal crime scene. one of the worst i've ever seen. >> a loving couple dead. was the killer witness of the family? >> he said, "they arrested matt." and i said, "matt who?" and he said, "our cousin matt." >> put the gun to her face and blew it away. and then i blew him away. >> but this case wasn't closed. there was one tiny clue that didn't fit at all. always, cori and ryan." who's ryan? who's cori? >> said that's like looking for a needle in a haystack. >> the trail would lead hundreds of miles away to a chilling piece of evidence. that must've been a shocker to have it cross your desk? >> pretty much sends a chill down your spine. >> "i killed someone. he was older. i loved it." >> pretty scary. >> a sinister story, but not even it revealed the whole, twisted truth. >> i know what happened. no one will believe me. happening? >> i didn't think i could feel so much anger. ? >> reporter: it was late, past midnight, when the farmhouse

stephen: ( singing ) ♪ sundown ♪ you better take care ♪ if i find you been creepin' 'round my back stairsessed. >> stephen: ( singing ) ♪ if i could read your mind, love ♪ ♪ what a tale ♪ it was ten degrees or colder, down by bolder dam that day i heard you talking in your sleep ♪ ♪ that's right, yes i heard you call ♪ >> okay. >> stephen: ( singing ) ♪ carefree highway, let me slip away on ♪ ♪ second cup of coffee and i still can't face the day ♪ >> that is impressive. >> stephen: ( singing ) ♪ through the woodlands, through the valley comes a horseman wild and free ♪ ♪ tilting at the windmills passing ♪ ♪ who can the brave young horseman be ♪ >> i am going to give you a check for that. >> stephen: ( singing ) ♪i heard you talking in the night ♪ ♪ that's right, yes i heard ya call ♪ ♪ but i could hardly hear the name you spoke ♪ ♪ that's a name i don't recall heartbreaking, how come people don't sing more gord? come on, i am a canadian! i bet justin trudeau couldn't name that many gordon lightfoot songs-- i can sing them, baby! >> that was very, very impressive. >> stephen: thank you, th

any man who takes a drunk woman up the stairs in a fraternity house is a damn coward, man. there is nothing manly about this. and we have to change the way we think about this. and i'm convinced, i'm convinced the vast majority of men understand and it's about time we speak up and we intervene when we see it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's just amazing. >> it's not amazing. i'm just too passionate about it. >> jimmy: i love all these things that you do and i want to get on a lighter note. another thing i enjoyed was this photo of you eating ice cream with sunglasses on. [ light laughter ] and it's just something, you're holding money. i don't know what's going on. [ light laughter ] i don't understand what this is about. but it really -- >> it was a payoff. >> jimmy: it made me laugh and i had to take this opportunity, since you're vice president of the united states and you only have a few more weeks left. i was wondering if you would like to share an ice cream this is the tonight dough ice cream. ben and jerry's. and all the proceeds to go serious fund, which is

. >> jimmy: that le why do i got to do that i could've have taken the stairs. this is from @edfabry. he said, "while working in spain, i told my spanish roommate that the proper english response to someone sneezing is 'up yours.'" [ laughter and applause ] why? why would you do that? >> steve: that's just rude. that's not good at all. >> jimmy: yeah, i know. this one is from @murph911. she says, "my uncle wore a a garage door opener on his belt to bars and told his girls why does your pager say "sears" on it? oh, i don't know. this is from @flabbergated. he says, "i told people i tore my rotator cuff rock climbing, but i really tore it scooping ice cream that was too hard." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: no one will ever know! it will go with me to my grave! >> jimmy: this last one is from @crystaljtf. she says, "told my mom i was having dinner with friends. but i was actually going to see 'fifty shades of grey'. she was in the same theater!" [ laughter ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: there you have it! those are our "tonight show hashtags." to check out more of