bill schulz will sing zoobie, zoobie zoo. and bill mcgern and you can smell the stink as his circulation sinks. how are you, pinch? >> the power of christ compels him, bap ticing -- bap tieing sports writers and speaking in tongs. these were just some of the many highlights during back up jets quarterback tim tebow's press conference this afternoon. oh, and he also said he was going to approach this one game at a time and gave 115% and it is what it is. ♪ all the news that's fit to print, yeah ♪ >> i don't believe he said any of those things. >> you don't believe in anything. >> i don't believe you have a sports section. >> i do have a sports section. you don't have eyes. >> shut up. >> you shut up. >> okay. will herman cane make you care by murdering a hair? yes, the former presidential contender's anti-stimulus advocacy group has released a follow-up to its disturbing slash arousing goldfish on the ground video. and the result is nothing short of something. take a look people who like to take looks. >> this is small business

remy, bill schulz, that does it

and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and sitting next to me is the legend dairy jeff baxter, the former member of steely dan and the doobie brothers and serving as a missal defense consultant. and he is back despite nobody's demand. it is our new york times correspondent, good to see you, pinch. >> in the sunday times, the metropolitan section profiled the keen steak house and now defunct long stemmed pipe club where since 1885 the members would pop by and ask for the carefully stored clay and then puff away. it reminds me of a den i used to frequent around the same time. gentlemen would come for the eastern opiate and stay for full frontal massages. admittedly more had to work with massage wise than i did. sad face. >> have you one face. >> and it is sad. >> it is sad. >> actually it is horizontal. >> horizontal face. >> there you go. >>> before we go to our first story i want to go to gavin. i notice you have a shirt that says the word "so" on it. why don't you tell me the history of the shirt. >> it was a shirt i made

it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and the go proud co-founder chris barron. and his leftist grumbling has leadership tumbling. tabooed to see you, pinch. >> today in arts and leisure, melena writes a teen lit to silver screen phenomenon that is "the hunger games." "the hunger game"? i thought that's what the olson twins named their purging days. >> an easy target there. >> you are an easy target. actually you are hard. you are tine thee. a difficult target. >> that was uncalled for. >> i can store you anywhere. >> look at my tongue. >> was his victory in illinois overshadowed by a toy? mitt romney, if that's his real name, won big in the land of polk and moving closer to the republican nomination. and he got more good news when jeb bush endorsed him. the former florida governor released a statement saying, quote, i am endorsing mitt romney for the party's nomination. we probably could have pulled a better quote from that. and then it happened. romney's communications director went on cnn and asked if there was a worry that mitt was forced to move so tar to th

and drugs speak at campuses about the dangers of bill schulz. it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if wit were rehab, time sizemore would enter him. actor, writer, comedian. michael ian black. his latest book, "wonderful" came out and it is called" you are not doing it right" and the world's cheapest puppet. good to see you, pinch. >> they recorded a white house meeting between british prial minister david cameron. here is a taste. obama, thank you for coming. thank you for taking time to meet with us of the cameron, back at you with a wicked googly governor. apologies of making such a bloody mess of the oval office. i just got back from my chimney sweeping. and between pounding pots of ale and eating fish and chips. i am utterly noc ce red. to you and yours, bloke. >> well done. all right. so they be allowed to slay, a symbol of the usa? an american indian tribe had permission to kill two bald eagles for religious purposes, i know. the fish and wildlife issued it after the arapahoe -- that makes me a racist? finally everybody knows. th

my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and he is so tough he gar gels with barbed wire. sitting next to me the green beret, terry sapor. and he is on our table spreading fables. good to see you, pinch. >> today it is the controversial disaster of the dwight d eisenhower memorial in dc. it has several stunning sex toys with all sorts of pagan symbols meant to look like a slop bucket. if you don't understand the simple symbolism as it relates to our president, i feel sorry for you and your tiny pea brain. parumph times 10. i tolerate ike. >> there you go. >> all right then. it is a walkout without clout. occupy wall street is planning its biggest action since last fall. a crippling general strike on may 1st. as one protestor put it, a day without the 99%. but labor leaders are saying they won't participate with one noting, quote, they are not working with the unions in a serious way, nor are the unions working with them in a serious way. but that's okay. as 1 rep says -- as one rep says, as everything they do, it is symbolic. except for the doo-doo they do. it is about get

bill schulz who will not be my repulsive sidekick. and next to me is michigan congressman thadius mcconnor who should have been our next presidential nominee, but he failed. just kidding. anne, i go to you first. i wouldn't have met you if it wasn't for andrew breitbart. he introduced you to me trying to convince you to do this show. by the way, this show would not exist without breitbart. it was him who talked to fox to get this show -- or to get me a job. i was living in england and he talked to people at fox. i met with the people at fox and the next thing it was "red eye" and everybody here sitting here with the exception of bill because i knew bill, we never would have met. we never would have met if it wasn't for andrew breitbart bringing us together because that's what breitbart does or did and probably still will talking to somebody on his cell phone constantly. >> yes, and your introduction reminds me that not only would "red eye" not exist, but acorn would exist and representative anthony wiener would exist. i have been amaz

bill schulz who will not be my repulsive sidekick. and next to me is michigan congressman thadius mcconnor who should have been our next presidential nominee, but he failed. just kidding. anne, i go to you first. i wouldn't have met you if it wasn't for andrew breitbart. he introduced you to me trying to convince you to do this show. by the way, this show would not exist without breitbart. it was him who talked to fox to get this show -- or to get me a job. i was living in england and he talked to people at fox. i met with the people at fox and the next thing it was "red eye" and everybody here sitting here with the exception of bill because i knew bill, we never would have met. we never would have met if it wasn't for andrew breitbart bringing us together because that's what breitbart does or did and probably still will talking to somebody on his cell phone constantly. >> yes, and your introduction reminds me that not only would "red eye" not exist, but acorn would exist and representative anthony wiener would exist. i have been amaz

bill schulz, horrible job. adam shapiro, outstanding. sherrod small, great job.me. i'm andy levy. i will see you tomorrow night. s

bill schulz, tom, dislietful. delight will. i shall stair a

we will try to figure out what he was doing with bill schulz's clothing straight ahead. >> unnecessary to start on bill before the show even starts. >> i don't think it was. >> do you think right now is a good time to start? >> by any means necessary. >> then i am with you, good man. let's welcome our guests. she is more adorable than a harloquin stuffed in a my little pony stuffed in a smurf. and he is the mouth from the south, fresh from the today show and from the awesome country duo big and rich, the singer and song writer, john rich. and his third nipple has a third nipple, my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and it is the delightful jim norton who is performing at caroline's in new york city march 29th through april 1st. you better go. and he is still here living in fear. our new york times correspondent, good to see you, pinch. >> he looks back to the 1800's for a properly bitter cocktail. as the knickerbocker, i always found it jim fizzy to fit the bill. it is the jim crowe dandy and the child labor mcgee. those were popular ones back then. we used to call it tipling. it was a

it is bill schulz. and he is so sharp he sneezes razor blades and wearing a nice, green sweater. i like to call him congo. and his profits are shrimpy because his opinions are wimpy. good to see you, pinch. >> according to reporter lizette allah res they are a little less wild because of unflattering appearances in social media. reminds me of the trip to fort lauderdale with the princeton review. let's just say i had one too many alabama slammas and blacked out during a cool whip mouth suck contest, the result of which landed on "good housekeeping"'s front page and i unfriended her after an argument at senior frogs. but the damage was done. >> did you have to go to a doctor when you came back? >> i can't move. ii don't have legs. >>> did america's most wanted hate america's most watched? a bin laden crew had strong news about cable news. in particular they hated fox news. the washington post, an actual paper reports that the terrorist turd hoped for a big splash on the 10th anniversary of 9/11. a u.s.-born media advisor jerk face discussed where to ship a bin laden anniversary vi

bill schulz. he thinks he is ins on right now. the prison and not the emerald city. fox business network anchor coming up with a joke based on his last name. and he wears a bib because he is a cry baby. it is our new york times cory spawn department. >> they write of oakland food vendors united against the daily violence that playings them daily. said one bay area taco man, quote,. ♪ my, my, my music ♪ hits me feels good ♪ ♪ when you know you are down ♪ ♪ a super home boy ♪ from the oak town you can't touch ♪ he didn't challenge our reporter to a danceoff. he was crying and ran away. curious fellow that one. >> that sounded like mc hammer. >> i don't know who you speak. >> i'm sure it is a coincidence. >> the guy had a horrible haircut. >> we will move on now. >> big glasses. >> after a long night there is still no end in sight. on the most important day of the election so far, super tuesday, mitt romney won in what seems to be the only way he knows how, sort of. in ohio widely thought to be the biggest state up for grabs he edged santorum by 1%. and white mitt muste

we have trained them to use bill schulz as a scratching post. and his desk is a toilet. >> that's interesting. >> what's the point of being a robot. >> finally, fred from kansas writes, 57 is a prime number and nobody called him on it. the kids have been left behind. no 57 is not a prime number because 57 is 19 times 3. >> fred, you know what number comes to mind. anyway, math was never my strong suit, but i did once have an affair with a texas instrument calculater. okay i lied. it was a casio. >> i would be ashamed of a casio. >> we will close things out with a post game -- thanks, did i nail that? at least i didn't use a microwave joke. oh another george bush. i'm answer edgy comedian. >> we will close things out with a post game wrap up from tv's andy levy. to see clips of recent shows go to fox news.com/red eye. >>> i will see you back here at 5:00 p.m. return appearances from kurt loader. -- kurt loder and remi spencer and tucker carlson. now back to andy levy. >> how is the website going? >> it is going great, and i have new stuff coming

and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if brilliant commentary were calculated homework i would get a nerd to help me do him. sitting next to me is gavin mcguinness. his latest delightful book for all ages is called how to piss in public and it is good. and because of the kindle his reader ship shall dwindle. >> and mary write tots vh1 show "mob wives" and the secret society. back in the day if you so much whispered the word mofia in certain words of the city, they would choke you to death with your own intestine. they called it a saw sill yen neck tie. now that is a stereo type. greg? >> thank you. >> you are welcome. >> well done. >> done well. >> i hope this show airs tonight. >>> will the planet be fine if we look to franken stein? climate change has gone from fiction to science fiction. some are proposing the combat by altering our bodies. it is called human engineering. the author suggests people could voluntarily adopt such as enduced tolerance to red meat since livestock farmings for a significant portion of gr

it is bill schulz. and sitting next to me, first time guest, author william mcgowan. his latest book is called "gray lady down. the decline and fall of the new york times and what is means for america." it is our new york times cory spawn department. good to see you, pinch. >> today in arts andly shu, the on-line -- arts and leisure, the on-line reader questions his latest film "the hunger games." one regular chimed in with, what is a hunger game? another query sthis about competitive bulimia? and a third viewer said "i am trying to write an e mail. will this website write an e mail for me? ". our demo could be better. >> could be. she was a friend of ho, but now she will say just no. boy i screwed that up. jane fonda has signed on to play nancy reagan. according to "variety." she will portray the former first lady in a film called "the butler." the feature will be based on the life of eugene allen who serves as the white house head servant from 1952 to 1986, a career spaning from somebody named harry s truman to ronald reagan. she is known for "on golden pond" and my

. >> his stench is now an element on my table, bill schulz. and he is more insightful than a crystal ball stuffed in a motivational speaker. his new book how to [bleep] in public comes out on tuesday. yea for tuesday. and no one in the press is more of a mess than our new york times correspondent. >> today in thursday's, steven profile else -- profiles the noted bartender, luke carl who among other things is lady gaga's exboyfriend and next week we will look at the gag's interview with claw midyaw. >> bill. >> my name is pinch. who is bill? >> is it harmless fun or a gateway gun? a chicago area pastor, is there any other kind is demanding k-mart stop selling plastic water pistols and neither of dart -- nerf dart shooters. and you know that's the reason they have such a high crime rate. quote, i am amazed you would offer toy guns to our children to make them comfortable with playing with they will. i ask you to remove any baskets with toy guns from your store's shelves immediately." so far k-mart corporate has stuck with the display with a spok

and never take his food bowl before he is dn eating, bill schulz. and if he was the macarani i probably did him at a wedding. his latest book is called "gray lady down." the decline and fall of the new york times and what it means for america. speaking of, he is a craby rag who is half in the bag. good to see you, pinch. >> didn't care much about your book there. today in arts and leisure, gary ross takes time and asks readers about "thehu hunger games." one said what is a hunger game? another queried is this about competitive bulimia? and a third viewer named thelma said, i am trying to write an e mail. will this website write an e mail for me? our demo could be better. >> could be. >>> she was a prend of -- a friend of ho, but now she will say just no. boy, i screwed that up. jane fonda, america's enemy, signed on to play nancy regan in an upcoming movie. according to "variety", the -- she will portray the former first lady in" the butler." it is based on the life of eugene allen who serves as the head serve vent from 1952 to 1986. a career spanin

and they are naming a string of hepititis after him, bill schulz. and he is funnier than a clown's head stuffed in a woopie cushion in a mime. jim norton and his latest cd you must buy. it is called despicable. and he is a talking rag who makes you gag. our new york times correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> uh-huh. uh-huh. well, you know what they say. motherhood is a full time job. mark con sway los did what? you have a husband and a chef in one. okay, we have to go to break. when we come back, mark harmon with ncia. sorry, my tv easy for told me alec baldwin co-hosted "live with kelly" and i am prepping for my invite. if that man bear is snagged by it, i surely can, by gum. i don't misery gist at all. miss regis at all. >> not at all. >>> did losing them both slow santorum's growth. mitt romney went two for two winning primaries in arizona and michigan. as expected romney won arizona big. >>> this is a fox news alert from america's news headquarters. i'm andy levy. a stunning story developing in new jersey. reports coming into the fox newsro

and he is back and as repulsive as ever, my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. sitting next to me is none other than the legend john gibson, host of the john gibson show. named after john gibson at noon eastern on fox news. and that stupid talking paper and always back when bill returns. good to see you, pinch. >> coincidence that. this sunday's op-ed section. >>s the rise of mamscera and manty hose on they mass skew lating scene, don't you know. if words with man in they will are in vogue, then surely barry manilow is due for a come back. ♪ at the copa cabana ♪ music and ?g ♪ are something ♪ that's something barry, are you as masculine as your lyrics are memorable. >> do liberals block instead of talk 1234* according to a new survey -- i love new surveys. lefties are less tolerant of differing opinions on on-line platforms which are my favorite. our pals -- i am spiting. they examined how facebook and twitter users responded to the political content. 82% have not taken steps to unblock, or hide somebody whose views are different. 28% were liberal and 16% were c

bill schulz, he thinks she on the set of whitney. and sitting next to me is sherrod small.doesn't matter if you are black or white as long as you are black comes out next week. and his pages are filled with all sorts of swill. good to see you pinch. >> gas prices are making amtrak's outrageous charges a bargain. as one railway traveler told me, and you need to stop faking and come on with me ♪ i want to take you home with me ♪ and be alone with me ♪ i can see you want to hide it ♪ please don't knock it ♪ ♪ until you ride it michelle, tamika ♪ ♪ and tonya wanna ride this train ♪ >> this show is going in the time capsule. should america boo the fighting sioux? the ncaa thinks so and is banning the university of north dakota of participating in post season play due to the fact their name violates the association's rule against mascots that are, quote, deemed hostile or demeaning toward native americans. nothing like starting it off with a long sentence. others like the florida state seminoles avoided sanctions by gaining support of local tribes. many of the north dakota sioux

it is my sidekick, bill schulz. and he blows audiences away with his genius act and a shotgun. sitting next to me, tom shalou. and he is a stupid pile of pages that will fill your day with rages. good to see you, pinch. >> he says madonna's new album is a bipolar collection of songs . it matters less than the pinosh of her delivery. replies the material girl, hello? hello? he is such a fine upstanding young man. next time i see him, i intend to give him a new hula hoop along with several pieces of penny candy. okay, well, time to watch my story. bye. unfortunately she forgot to hang up. what followed was an hour of her talking back to the characters on "days of hour lives." greg? >> thank you. >> you're welcome. >>> what is the law's fate minus the mandate. that is the question the supreme court, who ever they are dealt with on wednesday with the justices hearing arguments whether the affordable care act should go bye-bye if they ruled the mandate portion doesn't fly, fly. the mandate that forces you to face the penalty is the troubling part of the law, and the court was leanin

bill schulz. sitting next to me, the great tucker tucker carlson, fox news interest crer and editor in chief of the delightful "the daily caller" add a dot-com and you can look it up. and our new york times correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> today art and leisure profile. the ifc celebrating the history of gay cinema throughout the month of april. on top for tonight, keep the lights on. , postcards from america and return of the jedi with an extremely graphic sex scene between c3po and r2d2 and the ewok. children and pets are not add split -- admitted during the first two minutes of this inter galactic hump fest. >> thank you for that. >> it is a tour de force. >> i'm sure it is of the. >> i don't know what they were thinking editing it out. >> yes. >>> does drinking booze improve your views? according to a study, getting drunk makes you more conservative. researchers at the university of arkansas decided to, quote, test the hypothesis that low effort thought, whatever that means, promotes

special thanks to patti ann browne, bill schulz. that does it for me. i'm andy levy. see you next time which is tomorrow. mr. bill at the helm, thank you. >> bill: "the o'reilly factor" is on, tonight. >> bret: fox news can now project that mitt romney will win the state of ohio. >> bill: mitt romney squeaks out a win in ohio but his opponents say they will continue to fight. we will have the best super tuesday coverage anywhere. karl rove, george stephanopoulos, dick morris and dennis miller will all weigh in. >> i don't know what's in rush limbaugh's heart so i'm not going to comment on the sin -- sincerity of his apology. >> bill: president obama reaping benefit over the contraception. >> you won a million dollars. >> i won a million. >> after i took the lump sum is dropped down to 700,000. >> bill: michigan gone woman wins the lottery but still using food stamps. you are not going to believe this one. >> i feel that it's okay because i have no income. >> bill: caution, you are about to enter the no spin zone. the factor begins right now. captions by closed captioni

remy, bill schulz, that does it for me. what is wrong? i don't know anymore. what happened? ington. i'm bret baier. this is fox news weather alert. severe storms and more than a dozen tornadoes have ripped through part of the country today. they're not done. a southern indiana town completely wiped out. several people are reported dead in area and the numbers are expected to rise. we'll check in with rick reichmuth at the fox news weather center in a bit. joining us now on the phone, john gordon, meteorologist near kentucky. john, what can you tell us about the area and what you are hearing about the damage throughout this area? >> bret, that is going on, we had super cell thunderstorms producing storms in indiana. we're in the process we are still issuing tornado warnings south and east of louisville area. significant damage obviously. loss of life in southern indiana, which we are very sad about. we're still trying to issue warnings from the national weather service to protect life and property across kentucky and the eastern side, cutting toward the lexington area. south of there

bill schulz, horrible job. adam shapiro, outstanding. sherrod small, great job. that does it for me. i'm andy levy. i will see you tomorrow night. 'm shepard smith. opinion and analysis start. >> bill: o'reilly factor is on. tonight. >> do you know what title 10 is? >> explain it. >> bill: and i did. educating "the view" lady about the real story behind sandra fluke. but who exactly is running this young woman? we will have a follow-up report also. megyn kelly is furious over the story. she will be here. >> as we start using less, that lower the demand, prices come down. >> bill: not oil prices. they are going up. and mr. obama does not seem to have a solution. we'll continue our reporting on that. ♪ >> and network television is getting even more explicit >> the culture warriors will analyze. >> caution, you are about to enter the no spin zone. the factor begins right now. captions by closed captioning services >> thanks for watching us tonight. who is running sandra fluke. that is the subject of this evening's talking points memo. a we reported last night factor

. >>> pab, bill schulz, terry sapor, i will stair at you like this. >> bill: "the o'reilly factor" is on. tonight: >> when i think about this boy, i think about my own kids. >> bill: president obama gets involved in the shooting death of 17-year-old trayvon martin a story that is galvanizing the nation. we will have the very latest. >> i'm not perfect. i'm never going to be. that's the great thing about living the christian life and try to live by faith is you are trying to get better every day. >> bill: faith based quarterback tim tebow heading for the big sinful new york apple. will the new york city press rip him up? some say yes. ♪ california girls were unforgettable ♪ daze daisy dukes bikinis on top. >> katie perry aligning herself with the u.s. marine corps. what? we will tell you what's going on. ♪ captions by closed captioning services >> caution, you where to enter the no spin zone. the factor begins right now. captions by closed captioning services >> bill: i'm bill o'reilly, thanks for watching us tonight. president obama getting involved with the shooting death of a teenag

bill schulz, tom, dislietful. delight will. i shall stair at you from now on. factor" is on. tonight. >> i wanted people to understand this is another government subsidized contraception nor is contraception as incredibly cheap as some people have shared. >> georgetown law student sandra fluke finds the spotlighted again in the contraception debate while new polls show this battle is actually hurting president obama among women. we will have a report. >> anybody who says that they have got some magic bullet to get oil -- gas prices down to two bucks a gallon aren't telling the truth. >> president obama takes a shot at a g.o.p. rivals over gas prices but does he have any solutions? perhaps john stossel does. >> what is fair? he will be here. >> the united states takes this as seriously as if it was our own citizens and our own children who were murdered. the president calls the shooting rampage in afghanistan unacceptable. while leon panetta says the u.s. soldier accused could face the death penalty. is it legal is investigating. >> caution, you are about to enter the no spin

schulz? >> i wanted to add something on pakistan. bill and i, over the last six months, had 2 we will link the meetings, one with a group of former military and foreign minister types in india and pakistan, and then after that one with pakistani high officials and some high u.s. one. on the latter. -- one point on the latter. there was a session with a couple of economists, one from pakistan. that was the only high point in the whole thing. the net of that discussion was that the pakistanis are forgoing tremendous economic opportunities by virtue of the tension that pervades the country, and the unease that pervades the country. if they

one story in the entirety of the whole segment on ed schulz versus 46 in ten days on rush limbaugh. if you look to bill. again the statements that he has made about sarah palin, far more offensive, so offensive we can't even say what they were on this network. pick a scenario here. michael savege the far right conservative talk show host was hered by msnbc and then fired after a company o couple of wee he made antigay slurs and deserved to be fired in my book and i said so at the time. what do you think woo would have happened last week if we learned that michael savege made a million dollars contribution to mitt romney. you know every network news story would talk about three things. one, about how mitt romney took that money from a homophobe and he needed to return the money and apologize for that now you have bill maher who has said equally or more offensive things about sarah palin. turned a million dollars to the super pac of barack obama and it is not even news. it is not even covered. >> shannon: cover. >> sean: this is an important hour we are spending on the program and i appreciate you being

one story in the entirety of the whole segment on ed schulz versus 46 in ten days on rush limbaugh. if you look to bills made about sarah palin, far more offensive, so offensive we can't even say what they were on this network. pick a scenario here. michael savege the far right conservative talk show host was hered by msnbc and then fired after a company o couple of wee he made antigay slurs and deserved to be fired in my book and i said so at the time. what do you think woo would have happened last week if we learned that michael savege made a million dollars contribution to mitt romney. you know every network news story would talk about three things. one, about how mitt romney took that money from a homophobe and he needed to return the money and apologize for that now you have bill maher who has said equally or more offensive things about sarah palin. turned a million dollars to the super pac of barack obama and it is not even news. it is not even covered. >> shannon: cover. >> sean: this is an important hour we are spending on the program and i appreciate you being with us. >> it sure is. >> sean: