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. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ theat devry university we to fican help...e. by maximizing qualifying transfer credits,r. all you need... is a good reason to finish now. get started at devry.edu. femabut where am i gonna go? a whole lot of unused vacation days, i just don't have the money to travel right now. i usually just go back home to see my parents, so i can't exactly go globe-trotting. if i had friends to go with i'd go, but i don't want to travel by myself. someday. male vo: there are no more excuses. find the hotel you want, and the flight you want, and we'll find the savings to get you there. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> seth: welcome back to the show. i just wanted to talk a little bit about how much it means to me you can be here for our one-year -- [ sniffs ] okay, i'm sorry. i think i smell smoke. and if there's smoke somewhere in the studio, that can only mean one thing. it's time for "ya burnt!" [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the burn zone, everybody. we got a lot of topics to scorch through, not a lot of time. over here is the burner. let's turn on the gas and load her up. all rig

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motor trend's 2015 truck of the year. ♪ theat devry university we to fican help...e. by maximizing qualifying you need... is a good reason to finish now. get started at devry.edu. [announcer] this is my business. [music throughout] ♪because i love you♪ i believe in it. i live it and breathe it. i put my heart and soul... ...blood,sweat and tears into it. i run on quickbooks. that's how i own it. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an emmy and tony award winning actor and a "new york times" best selling author. this is the most fun book, i'm reading it right now. i don't want it to end. it's so good. "i must say: my life as a humble comedy lege" [ laughter ] gosh he's so good. he is starring on broadway in "it's only a play" at the "bernard b. jacobs theatre." ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the one and only, martin short! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. thank you so much. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! >> thank you! >> jimmy: oh, there he is again. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you! >> jimmy: yes. >> you know, just because i say thank you,

theat devry university we to fican help...e. by maximizing qualifying transfer credits, so you can graduate need... is a good reason to finish now. get started at devry.edu. thatgood job. nice coating. and get this one next. whoa! what are you guys doing? making sure nothing sticks. otherwise, we gotta scrub all this stuff off. huh, what? nobody thought of this before? what's wrong with people? dish issues? not with improved cascade platinum. it powers through... your toughest, starchy messes... better than finish's best... the first time. as if your dishes were non-stick. cascade. now that's clean. tcomfort sheer bandages. our most stretchable sheer bandage ever. they're 50% more stretchable, so they fit snug to protect even tough spots from dirt and germs. kids sing: 'cause band-aid stretches with me! band-aid brand. use with neosporin antibiotic ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night", everybody. now, we here at the show believe that no matter how different two things are they can still have common ground. and it's time to prove it once again with venn diagrams. [

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at devry university we can help... by maximizing qualifying transfer credits, so you can graduate soonerd reason to finish now. get started at devry.edu. ♪ ele[goat screams] ♪ elevator music [goat screams] ♪ elevator music [donkey braying] ♪ upbeat music ♪ bring in your verizon or at&t bill and we'll cut your rate plan in half. switch now and we'll even buy out your current contract. visit us online or at a sprint store today. (ellen) that's me. comes a new comedy about best friends trying to have a baby, when one of them falls in love, and, uh, i think there's a cranky grandpa. - there's no grandpa. - [groans] (ellen) well, now he's really gonna be cranky. announcer: one big happy, coming this march to nbc. urn down for what ♪ (ellen) well, now he's really gonna be cranky. ♪ ♪ turn down for what ♪ ♪ turn down for what [all shouting] - oh, geez! - what is your problem? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back. so a quick story. this weekend my wife and i decided to take a trip to upstate new york. we rented a cabin and we made some, made some dinner reservations. hold on one secon

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theat devry university we to fican help...e. by maximizing qualifying transfer credits, so you can graduateet started at devry.edu. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night", everyone. you know, we do a lot of writing here at the show because, contrary to popular belief, you can't just go to a store and buy jokes. and the first draft of what we write is never the last. and that's true of all writers throughout history. so here at "late night" we were lucky to get our hands on the first drafts of some famous quotes in a segment we're calling, what else, "famous quote first drafts". ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: let's start with benjamin franklin who said, "tell me and i forget. teach me and i remember. involve me and i learn." let's see the first draft. "tell me and i forget. teach me and i remember. tickle me and i throw up, so please stop tickling me, john adams." [ laughter ] doesn't have the same weight to it, the first draft. next we have george foreman, the boxing great, who said, "boxing is like jazz. the better it is, the less people appreciate it." his fir

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at devry university we can help... by maximizing qualifying transfer credits so you can graduate sooner. all you need... is a good reason to finish now. get started at devry.edu. >>> a huge fireball when a commuter plane plowed into an area. witnesses say the jeep was stuck under crossing gates and the driver tried to cross in front of the on coming train. the driver was killed and 12 others were hurt. 650 were on board. >>> well coming back here, the cost of living in the bay area continues to climb. you have seen the prices. not only are the home prices surging, rents are as well. rents are op a whooping tift 2% since the year -- 52% since the year 2000. abc7 news reporter has the story. >> if you thought trying to buy a house in the bay area was bad try renting. >> across the country rents are higher than they have ever been. >> rents in the bay area are among the highest in the nation. >> in the bay area, take everything to an extreme. >> skyler olson is a senior economist. >> rents in the city of san francisco are up almost 18%, higher than last year. >> according to zillow the med

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