douch, douch, douch. >> why douch? >> this is a group of guys that want to take guns that aren't really streets and instead replace it with pizza gorging children. >> obesity will keep them. toy guns won't. if they do a barbie bar back? >> my dad was going to give a barbie for guns thing, and i thought howie physical tiff -- how effective would that be. you could take any one in my arsonal and rob the bank. i am no longer to travel with them. they basically told us guns without the bullets. >> you would have a kid that had a gun just as heavy. they put the red dot on the front. >> if you can saw off a shotgun you can saw off the plastic. >> we have to take a break. can be too handsome stop you from being a top level scientist. we will have his book. >> is red eye about to do a story on tennis, but we wouldn't happen again i you go next if you had a hoveround power chair? the statue of liberty? the grand canyon? it's all possible with a hoveround. tom: hi i'm tom kruse, inventor and founder of hoveround. when we say you

he helped build his mother's casket by carving the woodallen petition douche the wooden petition himself. >> we transformed the gallery to and eerie victorian garden. my name is lowe hodges, and i am the director of operations and exhibitions at the conls tore of -- cons tore of flowers. we decided it needed context. so we needed a house or a building. the story behind the couple in the window, you can see his wife has just served him a glass of wine, and he is slumped over the table as the poison takes affect. a neat little factold dominion about that house is actually built out of three panels from old james bond movie. we wanted people to feel like i am not supposed to be in this room. this is the one that is supposed to be barred off and locked up. >> the ole andersonner -- oleander. this popular shrub is popular in warm climates. it has been implicated in a surprising number of murders and accidental deaths. children are at risk because it takes only a few leaves to kill them. a southern california woman tried to collect on her husband's life insurance by putting the leaves in his f

he helped build his mother's casket by carving the woodallen petition douche the

. - don't be douches, dudes. - hey, did anybody want a clove? [paintball gun fires] ow, man! all right. - nice. >> september 21, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. oh, do we have a show for you tonight. my guest tonight, mitch daniels. he is the current governor of indiana and the guy that every other republican says, "man, i wish that guy was running for president." [laughter] but at least maybe vice president. but let's start in washington. they enjoy that. monday morning president obama took to the white house rose garden, where appearing in front of the very doorknobs that might be hitting him in the ass next november, he talked death and taxes. >> today i'm laying out a set of specific proposals to finish what we started this summer. >> jon: you mean fort awesome? [laughter] treehouse i was bidding on the white house lawn. >> it's a plan that reduces our debt by more than $4 tr

"even in the afterlife, "you're a douche bag.hope you enjoy charity banging that geriatric for eternity." am i right ? it's so gross. "oh, i hope i get famous "in my early 20s "so i can settle down and marry "some middle-aged 40-year-old "with a bunch of kids. "that'll throw the scent off the gay trail." ( laughing ) i guess it has, i guess it has. women like that demi married a younger man, because guys do it all the time and no one gives them grief for it. but if a woman does it, it becomes an issue. okay, but the flip side to that is how about when a hot female teacher bangs a 14-year-old student, and nobody in society really has a problem with it. they all say the same stupid joke. "probably made the kid more popular." that's disgusting. she's a pedophile. she should be in prison forever. i dated a teacher in high school-- yeah. it didn't make me cooler. and a lot of you are like, "that's 'cause you were homeschooled." okay. valid point. doesn't mean i'm a bad person, it just means statistically i'm smarter than you are. and

my tie look all cool and then i realized the microphone was on it and that i will just look like a douche. you know what kind of freaked me out tonight? the idea that jonathan watches this show to get himself excited for his autoerotic fun ride. geoff: what do you think i do during the entire show? [laughter] craig: good night, everybody. i am a nose coach. i am a throat untickler. i am a human cough suppressant. and i am the sniffles worst nightmare. i am a target pharmacist. ask me about cold and flu remedies. well mainly in traffic. i'm serious. we've been together, what, a super long time. true. and at first it was all business, you know, i'd take him here, i'd take him there. everywhere. and over the years, we've really bonded. sure. why else would you always buy me chevron with techron? 'cause we need gas. i think it's more than that. i think that you care about me. you're a good friend. best friends? um, uh, yes, best friends. yeah. [ male announcer ] your car takes care of you. care for it. chevron with techron. care for your car. ow. wanted for m n the run for a month. tonight, h

he helped build his mother's casket by carving the woodallen petition douche the wooden petition himself>> we transformed the gallery to and eerie victorian garden. my name is lowe hodges, and i am the director of operations and exhibitions at the conls tore of -- cons tore of flowers. we decided it needed context. so we needed a house or a building. the story behind the couple in the window, you can see his wife has just served him

douche bag. i am...t.j. hooker. james t. kirk. will you calm down? energize.re's a man out there. 4 adam 30, pursuit terminated. mr. tambourine man! kahn! (male announcer) it's the comedy central roast of william shatner. with your roast master... and roasters...

he helped build his mother's casket by carving the woodallen petition douche the wooden petition himself we transformed the gallery to and eerie victorian garden. my name is lowe hodges, and i am the director of operations and exhibitions at the conls tore of -- cons tore of flowers. we decided it needed context. so we needed a house or a building. the story behind the couple in the window, you can see his wife has just served him a glass of wine, and he is slumped over the table as the poison takes affect. a neat little factold dominion about that house is actually built out of three panels from old james bond movie. we wanted people to feel like i am not supposed to be n

now douche explains why the loose i probably wasn't in the starting fifteen. percent or more he's got a minor injury so we've decided to assume as we still have two big games to bring it ought to be to match that's why we opted to keep him out of the fun but you won't even be on the bench. with a three cough still and a stray in born adam burns will win his first full cap for the russians as being hunted by injury since the team arrived in new zealand by the say a lot could play a part in the best remain two games and this is not a hails from russia he's delighted to start for his adopted nation. play international and be playing in a world cup it's been a lifelong dream. of us we often feel that we're coming to be in. this regard. like to help russia as much as they can and play to mark attention so with russia's next poor match kicking off against italy on choose day the players have been given their first day off since arriving in new zealand two weeks ago which is on full feats took the chance to join some of the squad on a fishing trip and enjoy the count

and finally the russian market so flat to negative at the end of ways douche session losing about the same number of points at the close let's have a look at some of individual moves m i six most energy may just ended in the right over one percent down precious metal minor point metal lost one point three percent after an earlier rally on our first results the company's net profit rose seventy seven percent to one hundred fifty one million dollars and no rules to make it was the main gain of the day it's just sort eight percent the company jumped after it started accepting bits for its four billion dollars buyback program its biggest rise three weeks by the way now it overhyped the troika dialog wraps up the three straight for us. the market is quite interesting after today's rally. thinking right now what was it was it like just technical dollars for no gun or trend or is it true in their own point. of their major question that's why we actually we don't see much of to mature to be sure it will open up. again concerns regarding the greece maybe it's not a really kind of for fulfillin

wozniacki also powered her way into round three using only two games and her victory against rancho douches from the netherlands the day as she often tries dominating encounter in the course. and serena williams also proved too strong for track of the netherlands the american response against a lot inside twenty minutes time to drop just one game. and it was also an easy day for last year's french open champion francesca schiavone italian media and the fifty three minutes to be from atlanta literature croatia six one six one the final score. i snuck in now and with a week to go before the start of the fourth k h l season four teams are competing in the mosque up here in moscow on thursday three two win over time and the number thrashed spots like three nil. now dogs then i dominated the match scoring a goal we hear them off primes the first i struck some magic that will go on yet it's also a good night for them as new feedback yet on impact russia goaltender recorded to shut out on his day before his former club after spending four years in between some of us who live. on the border to win

say i'm going to number one defense contractor i'm going to reduce your budget by so much from a douche your income that's jobs that's jobs in texas oklahoma new mexico ohio that's jobs all across the country same with raytheon same with boeing same with other military contractors so it's even more sensitive right now but we're going to have to do something about this and you're here you're hearing it within my party now the republican party you're hearing from people from the tea party for example and others finally talk about how if we're going to really do something about the deficit we cannot leave military standing out do you really think within your party we're going to see a real political will to make your magic i think you're going to this always happens it has happened since world war two is going to happen again but people who most go after the military in terms of to coney and cuts are ultimately party the republicans when it comes time to actually go after them they will go after them with a vengeance. they will since world war two we have never seen the country to rise we