and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you all very much. it's a great, great. how you all doing? welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." man, i am so excited, you guys. we have dame helen mirren on the show tonight. [ applause ] she's looking good, too. looking real good. i saw her backstage it was like, daaaaamn! also we have damon wayans jr. on the show. awesome. [ cheers and applause ] he's a good dude. he's a funny guy. i saw him backstage, i was like daaaaaamon wayans jr. we also have the one and only paul simon on the show! [ cheers and applause ] i saw him backstage i was like, hey, paul simon. [ laughter ] you're awesome. hey, did you guys see this? in a speech yesterday, president obama revealed that up until a few years ago, he was still paying off his student loans. yeah. in response, china was like, oh, so you do know how to repay loans. interesting. [ applaus

tonight's host is particularly familiar with studio sh. >> hi, i'm jimmy fallon. >> reporter: jimmy fallons coming home for christmas. >> this is actually a giant thing. i never thought i would host saturday night live. >> he was a cast member for six years until he was named host of late night. despite fulfilling a childhood dream. >> that's all i wanted to do my whole life. i wanted to be on saturday night live. >> in his 2004 departure of the show, he didn't want to wear out his welcome. >> the jokes change and the comedy changes. it speaks to different generations. >> fallon was known for his impressions and musical comedy during his heyday. this week, it's singer michael dublet. >> his christmas album had been atop the chart for three consecutive weeks. ♪ we two guys are hosting this show ♪ >> reporter: the expertise should translate into a buzz worthy holiday show you know when. raphael seth. >> thank you so much for joining us. guess what's up next? jimmy fallon. >>> hey, tommy. tommy, over here. a over here, you creeper. hey. [ cheers and applause ]

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!heers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! so proud of that. feel the love! thank you very much, everybody! thank you. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. i'm so excited. christmas season is finally here, you guys. the holiday season in full effect. [ cheers and applause ] listen to this. a new survey found that two of the most popular holiday songs are "jingle bell rock" and "rudolph the red-nosed reindeer." the least popular christmas song -- "i saw mommy kissing herman cain." [ laughter ] not popular this year. speaking of republicans, did you guys hear this? donald trump is hosting a debate in iowa. but, so far, newt gingrich and rick santorum are the only presidential candidates to rsvp. rick santorum actually requested a plus one, you know, so he could bring all of his supporters. [ laughter ] i just saw this, you guys. the dutch airline

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much, everybody. how you doing? hey, guys. welcome to "late night --" welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. christmas is almost here, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] i'm excited. this is a nice story. yesterday, president obama bought about $200 worth of christmas presents at best buy. then it got awkward when he asked the geek squad if they fixed economies. [ laughter ] "the new york daily news" reported that obama bought the wii game, "just dance," for his daughters sasha and malia. or in other words, "the new york daily news" just ruined the fun of opening presents for sasha and malia. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] hello! "let me guess. 'just dance'?" [ laughter ] i don't know why they talk like pee wee herman, but they do. [ laughter ] [ as pee wee herman ] "let me guess. 'just dance

. >>> and our guest in the studio tonight, jimmy fallon. he'll talk about how he found himself in the middle of the gop race. all that and more on "rock center" starting now. captions paid for by nbc-universal television "rock center." since you have to spend money anyway, at some point it has become fashionable for a lot of folks to become better, more ethical consumers. from the meat that you buy making sure it was raised humanely, perhaps, to cars and air conditioners that are fuel efficient. spending based on good intentions in effect. well, this time of year a lot of people are buying gifts of gold jewelry of one kind or another, and yet a lot of us either don't know or don't stop to think about what it takes to get gold out of the ground, and that's where our lead story here tonight comes in. it's an investigation into gold mining, where it's being done, who does it and who profits from it. tonight from half a world away, richard engel discovers the real price of gold. >> reporter: this is where the gold begins its flow, the west afri

the fallons are proud. i got to say, the fallons are proud.re not faking that you're irish. >> not at all. no, basically i've been cursed or blessed. depends on what you think of it -- with a beautiful milk bottle tan. [ laughter ] it does me quite well. you get noticed in the wwe and of course, my trademark irish red hair, so -- >> jimmy: well, you were telling me about your action figure here. mattel had to make a special plastic because it's so pale. [ laughter ] >> yes, irish milk bottle tan there, actually. >> jimmy: you can't get tan at all, can you? >> no, not really. that gave me a lot of stress, actually, having to go back and do that. so, i applaud the guys at mattel for actually being able to pull that off. but no -- >> jimmy: they used a new plastic for you. but, look. i mean, this is fantastic. the cover of "muscle and fitness," you'll never see this. there's your whites right there. [ cheers ] as much as you want. but look, you're jacked. >> they air brushed in these things here, which is really cool. >> jimmy: oh, stop it. yeah,

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!heers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much, everybody. how you doing? hey, guys. welcome to "late night --" welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. christmas is almost here, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] i'm excited. this is a nice story. yesterday, president obama bought about $200 worth of christmas presents at best buy. then it got awkward when he asked the geek squad if they fixed economies. [ laughter ] "the new york daily news" reported that obama bought the wii game, "just dance," for his daughters sasha and malia. or in other words, "the new york daily news" just ruined the fun of opening presents for sasha and malia. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] hello! "let me guess. 'just dance'?" [ laughter ] i don't know why they talk like pee wee herman, but they do. [ laughter ] [ as pee wee herman ] "let me guess. 'just dance'?" [ laughter ] >> steve: "i'm standing just like daddy." >> jimmy: i just saw this. a recent survey found that 4

you are on with ed fallon. i am curious -- you said you are for a free market of the net breath it seems you want to regulate more. it seems like the more politicians and government go into wall street and banks, the more loopholes, the more crack they keep spewing out. i don't understand, in one breath you wanted and the other you -- you want it and the other, you don't. over-regulation has not worked in about seven months now. no jobs. i don't understand what the goal is. i like what you just said about the free markets -- and that you are not down with socialism. but what is your economic goal? how do you see -- host: alright, nicole. thank you. guest: let me be clear about my free-market comment. i am for minimally regulating the market. let me give you an example here in western iowa. there is a small farm where two women are raising goats for milk. they have been classified as industrial, they have been required to jump through ridiculous groups and hurdles, paying a thousand dollars to upgrade equipment.

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. welcome, everybody. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," and for those of you still recovering from st. patrick's day -- [ whispers ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." that's right, yesterday was st. patrick's day, and today was that other great holiday, st. call in sick day. [ laughter ] no, it's march madness, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] feelin' the magic. there was a major ncaa upset yesterday when the 13th seed morehead state beat number four seed, louisville. even players at morehead state were like, "oh, man, this screws up my entire bracket." [ laughter ] why did we win? i just read this. a school in new jersey that was named after president obama will close this summer because of low enrollment. [ light laughter ] that explains the school's new education plan, "no child left." [ cheers and applause ] nobody'

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! that's what i'm talking about. hey, everybody, welcome. thank you so much for being here. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." you guys enjoying the holidays here in new york? the christmas tree lighting? outside, yes? [ cheers and applause ] i love it. it's very exciting. speaking of nbc, did you guys see this? last night brian williams continued with the "nbc nightly news" while a high-pitched fire alarm went off in the studio. [ light laughter ] yeah. he kept talking over a loud screeching sound, or as that's also known, "the view." [ laughter and applause ] interesting fact. listen to this. i read that the nypd has stopped and frisked more than 500,000 people this year. which means if they frisk just 1,000 more, they'll be -- they'll tie herman cain. [ laughter ] that will do it. that's officially -- some more election news. rep

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you. i feel the love. i appreciate it. thank you very much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. thank you for being here. well, christmas is -- [ cheers ] thank you very much. christmas -- christmas is just around the corner and everyone's traveling for the holidays and -- so get this, yesterday, tsa workers at lax sang, "i believe i can fly" for passengers. [ laughter ] it was nice. and i thought this was cool, for jetblue passengers they sang, "i believe i can fly six hours later than i was supposed to." [ laughter ] the tsa workers also sang, "deck the halls." not to be confused with their normal song, "check the balls." [ laughter ] they didn't sing that one. no, they didn't. did i tell you about my grandma, by the way? >> steve: no, what happened? >> jimmy: you seriously didn't -- did you read your e-mails today?

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. welcome. welcome, i feel the love. welcome to "late night" with, me, jimmy fallon, everybody. thank you for being here. in the holiday spirit -- [ cheers and applause ] so fun, thank you. oh, man, this whole herman cain scandal -- [ light laughter ] -- is still a mess. it turns out herman cain will meet with his wife tomorrow for the first time since the affair allegations emerged. yeah. that's the first time, yeah, tomorrow. he wants to address her face to face while she wants to address him foot to ass. [ laughter ] herman! [ laughter ] >> steve: herman! >> jimmy: herman! [ light laughter ] but hey, some good news. it is the holiday season over at the white house. the theme for this year's christmas is "shine, give, share." while rumors the theme for next year's white house christmas will be "clean, pack, move."

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, sounds good. thank you very, very much, everybody. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." oh, thank you for being here. man, oh, man, it was a huge weekend for shopping. everyone was out for black friday. yeah, i went to walmart, and i found a great deal on a flat screen and a really great deal on pepper spray. it was just like -- [ laughter ] it was a great -- free. [ light laughter ] you guys see this over the weekend? president obama took his daughters to a book store. barack bought malia "the phantom tollbooth," while malia bought barack "economics for dummies." [ laughter ] it was just interesting. they bought each other gifts. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. all right. that's right, obama bought eight books for sasha and malia. yeah, i was reading all about it on china's credit card statement. [ laughter ] i go, "oh, yeah, that

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!heers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. welcome to our show. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." wow, what a great crowd, already. [ cheers and applause ] nice to see you here, you guys. oh, man. welcome to the show. everybody --everybody is still talking about this kim kardashian story. well, here's the latest -- [ audience groans ] here's the latest, now. kim kardashian's husband, kris humphries, apparently found out on the gossip website tmz that kim filed for divorce. [ laughter ] kim was like, "look, i'm sorry, i didn't have the chance to tell you the normal way, you know -- [ laughter ] through 'in touch' magazine. i couldn't do that. i didn't have time." that's right, kim kardashian is getting divorced after 72 days. as a tribute, we put together a montage of some of the best moments from their marriage. [ cheers and

it took three days for jimmy fallon to get back to us.xt day we tweet it had other jimmy, jimmy kimmel, he got right back to us. then following that i tweeted all of the talk show boys and i left out the cable twins so i'm including the cable twins now stephen colbert and jon stewart. i had left them out. >> paul: twins. >> dave: so now it's craig ferguson and the two jimmys and jay leno and conan o'brien and the cable twins. am i leaving anybody else? >> the man comes on way late after everybody, carson daily. >> dave: oh, that's all right. (laughter) >> paul: so i don't know if you can see that. we have 17 people following us. (laughter) >> paul: that's good. >> dave: we get to be 20 and the checks start rolling. and here's another tweet check! so i'm reaching out to... paul tipped me to this when we were looking to jimmy fallon we started out with dude and then three days later he got it and called us right back. so i hashtaged this one. i don't know if you can see this one. you have to have a hashtag. >> paul: hashtag? and you just wr

starbucks. >> tonight jimmy fallon welcomes musical guest gym class heroes. your local nbc station. >>> it's time for your "first look" at entertainment news. kristin stewart is tops. for every dollar she make, her movies make $55.83. in second place is ann hathaway. and the third went to stewart's costar robert pattinson. danielle radcliffe came in fourth. he was named entertainer of the year. he's also been head lining on broadway. and finally, he's at it again. steven colbert tried to get his name on south carolina's primary ballot. only this time, he wanted to sponsor the whole thing. colbert offered more than $100,000 to name the contest after him. the state's gop executive director said the party respectfully declines. why is that? what do you think? trump or colbert? >> oh, wow. for the naming rights, or to put on the ballot? >> both. >> it would be good tv ratings. >>> i'm lynn berry. this is fir"first look" on msnb. stay tuned. "way too early" starts right now. >>> newt gingrich is a man on fire. double digits in iowa and showing leads of more than 2

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. thank you. thank you very much. thank you. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. i appreciate that. [ cheers and applause ] good to be back. we've got a whole week of fun shows. hey guys, huge international news, you guys. kim jong-il, you know, the crazy leader of north korea, who hated us, that guy -- [ laughter ] -- he passed away over the weekend. [ audience aws ] and get this, his 28-year-old son kim jong-un is taking over. it won't be easy, because he's got some big women's sunglasses to fill. [ laughter ] it's going to be tough. hey you guys, tomorrow night is the first night of chanukah and the white house -- [ applause ] -- the white house already had its annual chanukah reception. yeah. first, obama lit a menorah and then biden made a wish and blew it out. [ laughter ] it's like come on, somebody keep

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, thank you very much! hey, how you doing? thank you very much. welcome, everybody. welcome to our show. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. everyone's talking about the 2012 election -- some big news. herman cain will apparently decide this weekend if he's going to stay in the presidential race -- -- while herman cain's wife will decide if he's going to stay on the couch or in the basement. [ laughter ] herman! herman. some more campaign news. in a new interview, it's revealed that mitt romney loves chocolate milk. [ laughter ] these debates are getting complicated. yeah. >> steve: nuts. >> jimmy: that's right, mitt romney prefers chocolate milk, while rick perry prefers milk like his poll numbers, 2%. isn't that -- interesting how you can -- [ cheers and applause ] listen to this, the senate is doing its first ever secre

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> jimmy: fantastic. hey, i feel the love. thank you so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. i can't believe this is our final show of 2011. and on a serious note, i don't write these jokes by myself, so i want to thank the people who make them possible. charlie sheen, the kardashians -- [ laughter ] herman cain, and anthony weiner. wow, anthony weiner. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. that's right. new year's is right around the corner. i can't wait 'til the clock strikes 12:00 and everyone's, like, -- ♪ should all acquaintance be forgot duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ should auld acquaintance nuh nuh nuh keep your eye on the grand old flag ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] great song. hey, here's an election update. yesterday, in new hampshire, mitt romney spent an hour knocking on doors, trying to mee

"jimmy fallon's wake-up call." laughter ] it's an alarm clock -- you got that there. or you can -- so you can go either way. digital, flippy jones, or that dude, classy. classy individual. [ light laughter ] that's called classy individual, is the name of that one, yeah. but what happens is you set the alarm and then i fake call your phone and wake you up. so you -- there's a bunch of different calls. i do like 17 different calls. let's do one, here's one. this one's called -- see, here's the different calls, you can get those. any of those. so let's try buttermilk. [ light laughter ] >> hey, it's jimmy and guess what? it's time to churn the buttermilk! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. >> steve: that'll get you up. >> jimmy: that's it. so you can do any of those and it'll wake you up. that's worth 99 cents, right? >> steve: just woke me up. >> jimmy: yeah, just woke you up now. and here's the best part of it. like here, you go into settings. 'cause this makes me mad every day of my life. you go to snooze and i'

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!m ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> jimmy: fantastic. hey, i feel the love. thank you so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. i can't believe this is our final show of 2011. and on a serious note, i don't write these jokes by myself, so i want to thank the people who make them possible. charlie sheen, the kardashians -- [ laughter ] herman cain, and anthony weiner. wow, anthony weiner. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. that's right. new year's is right around the corner. i can't wait 'til the clock strikes 12:00 and everyone's, like, -- ♪ should all acquaintance be forgot duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ should auld acquaintance nuh nuh nuh keep your eye on the grand old flag ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] great song. hey, here's an election update. yesterday, in new hampshire, mitt romney spent an hour knocking on doors, trying to meet with voters, while rick perry spent an hour knocking on doors, trying to remember which house was his.

but it's not. >> paul: no three, days-- >> dave: three days later, jimmy fallon, nice young fella, wasough to take time out of his studies and tweet me back. >> paul: tweeted back. ( laughter ). >> dave: then the other jimmy, jimmy fallon -- >> jimmy kimmel. the other jimmy. >> dave: yeah, the other jimmy-- >> jim: >> jimmy kimmel? a. he tweet us back immediately. >> dave: we heard back from both jimmies. last night i included the cable twins, jon stewart and steve colbert. and conan, craig ferguson, and jay leno. who am i leaving out? >> paul: carson daly. >> dave: oh, that's okay. ( laughter ) ( applause ) so we are reaching out to the talk show community. and we've heard back from nobody. so that still leaves conan, craig ferguson, and jay leno t to-- so i'm sending out another e-mail tonight. i've kind of got the hang of it, and this is the one we're sending tonight. first what i learned, you have to start with the hash tag, so i put these two things up there, and then i add the hash tag. >> paul: i see that. >> dave: can you see it right there? and here i say, "hi, boys." so i'm t

and last night on late knight with jimmy fallon, jimmy alluded to a possible sign of things to come atthe holiday season over at the white house. the theme for this year's christmas is, shine, give, share. well, rumors the theme for next year's white house christmas will be clean, pack, move. hey, listen to this, you guys, congress just lifted a ban on producing and exporting horse meat. or as taco bell put it, there was a ban on that? what? what do you think's in the burger? that's right. congress voted to allow the production of horse meat. the vote got kind of awkward, when they were -- all opposed, say nay? >> tonight jimmy welcomes actress, myia rudolph, from nbc's "up all night" "late night with jimmy fallon" on your local nbc station. time for your first look at entertainment news, if movies are your thing, thisses is the weekend to avoid long lines and play some catch-up. on what's considered the slowest box office weekend of the year and no new openings, disney's "the muppets" is expected to finish number one. and elsewhere, access hollywood live reports former white house gat