i'm andy levy or as i am known in the french quarter, greg gutfeld. tom, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> thanks, andy. coming up on tonight's show, it is a bird, it is a plane, it is a community organizer with super powers. no, not that community organizer. can dc comics bring down wall street in the way the occupy movement couldn't? maybe. and young people are america's most stressed out generation. do they have any reason to be? obviously not. hopefully our panel will demean them coming up. and cats kill. billions of cute, furry, feathery creatures are killed by unfeeling housecats. a bill schulz segment so shacking andy -- so shocking andy levy refused to tease it, but i am teasing it and teasing it good. >> we will edit that out entirely. thanks for the effort. let's welcome our guests. i am here with author, columnist and contributor jedediah bila. it is tv personality and best selling author greg gutfeld. what is he doing here? his latest book is called "joy of hate." bill schulz, i am so, so sorry, america. and next to me, tucker carlso

i'm andy levy or as i am known in the french quarter, greg gutfeld. tom, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> thanks, andy. coming up on tonight's show, it is a bird, it is a plane, it is a community organizer with super powers. no, not that community organizer. can dc comics bring down wall street in the way the occupy movement couldn't? maybe. and young people are america's most stressed out generation. do they have any reason to be? obviously not. hopefully our panel will demean them coming up. and cats kill. billions of cute, furry, feathery creatures are killed by unfeeling housecats. a bill schulz segment so shacking andy -- so shocking andy levy refused to tease it, but i am teasing it and teasing it good. >> we will edit that out entirely. thanks for the effort. let's welcome our guests. i am here with author, columnist and contributor jedediah bila. it is tv personality and best selling author greg gutfeld. what is he doing here? his latest book is called "joy of hate." bill schulz, i am so, so sorry, america. and next to me, tucker carlso

it was executive produced by greg gutfeld. >> dana: sounds a weird thing. >> greg: ripped me off. $22ent in new york who wants to see a grown man in underwear i charge $100. >> dana: what do you know about quantum physics. >> kimberly: it doesn't matter. >> greg: i'll show you. it manuals if a parent brought child or teenager $100,000 car. then $100,000 car made weird noises. everybody would be worried. but if you spent $100,000 on tuition and you have insame professor, everybody thinks it's funny. because theyent to see the money. they don't see the mup they paid. they think it's hilarious when they should be outraged. >> dana: what if you had to pay on your way in to class like going a movie. live hand over my $15 for the class, bet ber good. you might be mad and storm out of the theater. >> eric: i hope a lot of students have their parents get money back from a portion of the tuition. that is insanity. start over? trip strip down naked, start over and -- >> dana: he wants to be on broadway. >> eric: is that what goes on at columbia? >> bob: let me say first of all, my cousin teachi

. >>> welcome to "red eye" i'm america's valentine and andy levy filling in for greg gutfeld. tom, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> thanks, andy. coming up, a group of california high school students is fond of wearing patriotic bandannas and chapting usa. is that racist? it will be when our panel gets uh hold of it. and mayor bloomburg wants to ban styrofoam, ensuring my nightly delivery will be colder when it arrives at my doorstep. mayor bloomburg, get your hands off. and teens have been sleep texting and not remembering what they write. i don't remember what i do when i am asleep. and by asleep i mean awake. and by don't remember i mean won't admit to. andy? >> thanks, tom. see you at the half. >>> let's welcome our guests. i am here with author, columnist and fox news contributor jedediah bila. i think she has been on the last 12 shows in a row. look gavin mcguinness. he is a writer for talking mag.com and street carnage.com. and bill schulz. he thinks he is on "the face" right now. and john gibson host of "the john gibson show" on fox news raid yore weekdays at no

i'm dana perino with andrea tantaros, bob beckel, eric bolling, greg gutfeld. 5:00 in new york city.e five." ♪ ♪ >> dana: in order for republicans and conservatives to win future elections they will need a good messenger and good message. bill o'reilly talked about it last night. >> the right is disorganized and lacks leadership. if a leader can emerge and fight off the media jackals that person can turn the country to the right. why? america is a place of achievement. we have always been that. once the nanny state victimization mentality gets hammered in an effective way it will quickly fall apart. as fair-minded hardworking americans will reject it. therefore the left has not won in america. not yet. >> dana: more on that but first the next event for republicans is cpac, the conservative local action conference and we learned governor chris christie, with a record high approval rating has not yet been invite and it sounds like he will not get one. we'll ask if that is a smart move. does anything sound familiar there? you have been on the bandwago bandwagon. >> greg: talking about f

i'm kimberly guilfoyle with bob beckel, andrea tantaros, dana perino, greg gutfeld. 5:00 in new yorkity. this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> kimberly: america is on the brink of a fiscal fiasco and washington is at a stand still. the full blown campaign to pass the blame on republicans, carrying them a new on a sharpton's radio show. >> my sense is that the basic view is that nothing is important enough to raise tactaxes on wealthy individuals or corporations. >> from a communication standpoint is this a good idea to harness the ammunition? after the republicans say they are to blame? they are the ones that have the economy at a standstill in this country, because of the inability to act and do the right thing? >> from a communication standpoint you get more bees with honey. you would be able to accomplish more if you were civil. as an american and republican, i am disappointed in the president. he has distain for half the country. i would haven't said it. ewould not have sent him away for guy's weekend where he played golf for a weekend and come back to say my gosh, we have a crisis. we coul

i'm greg gutfeld with andrea tantaros, bob beckel, eric bolling, and her big wheel is double parked outside. dana perino. it's 5:00 in new york city. hence, "the five." ♪ ♪ >> greg: so some groups are ticked off at coca-cola for the super bowl ad featuring an arab with a camel in the desert. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: so one arab group is claiming this is racist or something. coke says it was just using film characters from the past. now you might call the groups cry babies but that would have been people with malfunctioning tear ducts. instead, i call them americans where they figured out like the rest of us outrage gets attention. forget anger over terrorism. words speak louder than actio action. as you demand subservient to hurt feelings. how to beat them? join them. taco bell claims they pull their ad that asked people to eat tacos instead of carrot after vegetable lovers, vented on the whine seller, called twitter. here is the ad. >> veggie on game day is punting on fourth and one. it's a cop-out. people hate you for it. introducing the taco bell variety 12-pack. a game day tradition since right

. >> eric: i'm eric bolling with kimberly guilfoyle, andrea tantaros, bob beckel, greg gutfeld.t's 5:00 in new york city. guess what? this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> eric: so, you getting ready for big game this weekend? i know i am. i'm stumped to watch the niners beat up on the ravens. so bob has wear a belly shirt around the building. a game i'm really looking forward to gets underway before super bowl xlvii. slow pitch softball practice on cbs 4:30 on sunday. scott pelly said to put the journalistic credit on the line interviewing president obama. if steve croft's interview is any indication we're likely to see lead in to the puppy bowl rather than super bowl. >> how would you characterize your relationship right now? what do you think the biggest success has been. foreign policy success of the first term. >> your campaign was a bitter campaign. i'll spare reading you what you said. how long did it take to get over that? >> oh! what question will pely ask the president and what questions should he ask the president? mr. president what is your favorite salty snack or 7.9% unemploy

i am greg gutfeld. let's go to tv's andy levy. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> thanks, greg. toy guns, evil or super evil. the new york times wants to know. the fate of the union, is it strong? or more importantly the union of the snake, is it on the climb? this is cnn. greg? >> thanks, andy. >> you becha. >> what was your favorite grammy moment? >> i would say right around probably like 11:30 or so when the closing credits ran. >> very good. >> the levon helm thing i thought was very good. >> i don't care. >> chris brown losing to frank ocean was amazing. >> let's welcome our guests. go away. she knows top stocks like i know floral smokes. i wear one while nude finger painting. i am here with liiiiiiizzzzz mcdonald. and he is so funny he burps whoopi cushion. i like the sweater vest. and in malaysia, he is considered a jar. he is in the leg chair. my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if thoughtful commentary was a dune buggy i would ride him with my shirt off. he is the editor of "the daily caller" and his latest is called" the lizard king." >> a block. th

i'm andrea, with kimberly guilfoyle, bob beckel, and greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city and this is "the five." >> here's one more reason not to let washington near your pocketbook. today the congressional budget office announced politicians in d.c. spend 850 billion more than they take in and are on track to have the national debt hit 26 trillion the next ten years. after those numbers were released. the president played small ball urging congress to pass a smaller package before automatic cuts go into effect march 1st. >> in congress can't act immediately on a bigger package, if they can't get a bigger package done by the time the sequester is scheduled to go into effect, i believe they should at least pass a smaller package. there's no reason that the jobs of thousands of americans who work in national security or education or clean energy, not to mention the growth of the entire economy should be in jeopardy because folks in washington couldn't come together. >> all right, the cbo estimated today in the fiscal 2013 budget $850 billion will

>> i'm greg gutfeld. or as i am known in vermont, the snow sniffer. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show. >> thanks, greg. our top story tonight, the white house posted a photo allegedly showing president obama supposedly firing what appeared to be a shotgun. our allstar panel will take a closer look. and something about some football games. and finally does going into prison turn you into a criminal? the shocking answer you might have figured out when i did this tease last week. >> i have nothing else to say to you. >> then go away. >> i shall. >> let's welcome our guests. >> what can i say? i like to role play, people. the political commentator and her latest is called mugged. and if jokes were headlights he would have us all itching to get lid of him. it is joe derosa. glum and em loomy. glum and gloomy. and in canada he is considered a vacuum. and he knows bonds like i know wands. it is the wall street strategy ceo. >> a block. the lead. that's the first story. >> will a pigeon that is clay believe

i'm greg gutfeld with kimberly guilfoyle, bob beckel, eric bolling, puppies watch videos of her sneezing perino. it's 5:00 in new york city. i'm hungry. ♪ ♪ >> greg: it was the president's economic advisor gene sperling saying he regretted saying that obama moved the goalpost in sequest tration. it hate volleyball metaphors. here is woodward yakking. >> share with viewer what is is going on between you and the white house. >> it makes me uncomfortable to have the white house telling reporters you are going to regret doing something you believe in. >> greg: was sperling giving a threat or friendly advice? be? regret comment translates to you look stupid if you write that, which is how the white house man caned the media on benghazi. remember benghazi? the film "argo" won best picture being about heroic rescue of americans. obama won re-election with the opposite. michelle gave out that oscar, the joke was on us. another joke, what do washington politics and diaper have in common? at the end of the day, both are full of crap. we have obama staffer insuspecting woodward on twitter. is this

>> greg: gutfeld foundation. >> dana: i could get a grant for that. >> greg: you have to get admissionhouse. >> dana: i think that guy would have been kicked out of toast masters. >> kimberly: they have a thing for public humiliation. >> greg: wow you were in toast masters? >> dana: i wasn't by i appreciate it. he would have been kicked out of it. >> andrea: what if a republican had come out and said ladies we have a rape plan for you. here it is. learn jujitsu. here is a pen to use to defend yourself. you can vomit, use a ball point pen, anything but weapon. but it's the equivalent of saying women are bad drivers, women can't hand a gun. >> kimberly: limited sexist thinking. >> andrea: they really need to be quiet on this issue. they have no idea what it's like. bob, do you have any idea? >> bob: in deference to these guys, they are debating a bill on the floor that been as concealed gun -- bans concealed guns on the colorado campuses. that is why they are talking about it. if you are in favor of it you have to say here is my a terptive. yesterday, a number of people responded to what

i'm jesse in for greg gutfeld. thursday night i do water world for o'reilly. here is a sample. >> who is that? >> bush senior. >> that hurts, man. >> there you go again. >> is your favorite founding father? >> abraham lincoln. >> he is not a founding father? >> no. first president. >> what is a founding father. >> hi, i'm earth. have we met? >> do you know what the unemployment rate is now? >> 99%. >> congresswoman. you said fox news live. could you name? >> what is she doing? i never know what she is doing. >> the next bill o'reilly? not a good look for you, son. trust me. >> straight talk. >> is obama doing a good job? >> yes, he is. president of the united states. he's not obama. he's the president of the united states. thank you. >> best award winning television. wouldn't you agree? >> bob: let me ask you a question. is that what you did for the high school equivalentdy blow m? >> you are saying it's g.e.d. tv? >> bob: no. interesting. you go to jersey shore and you find -- stay on the jersey shore. >> i have been to six ivy league school? >> were they in

>> kimberly: hello, i'm kimberly guilfoyle with bob beckel, eric bolling, dana perino, greg gutfeld.'s 5:00 in new york city. this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> kimberly: you are looking live at washington, d.c. where another fiscal deadline looms. automatic spending cuts kick in friday unless lawmakers reach a deal. but is this really a crisis? here on "the five," we were ahead of the curve to tell you sequestration isn't going to mean armageddon for america. but the press and political class mostly on the left are trying to tell you otherwise. example number one, the media. >> we are now within 72 hour of the drastic budget cuts across the american economy. >> with the budget ax falling the government starts releasing illegal immigrants from jail. >> slight delays, kids losing vaccine and meat shortages. >> the consequences they predict grow more dire every day. >> the question tonight is if it's as dire as the white house says it is, why isn't more being done to stop it? >> kimberly: example number two. the obama administration. >> it will have a negative impact on the safety of americans

joining us from new york city, bernard mcgirk and greg gutfeld. >> i think we're going to hell in a courtroom. we're living in a relativistic society if you want to distinguish between right and wrong, that is seen as mean. and being mean these days is wrong. so that's why you don't spank your kids. you can't punish them and the adults are always seen as the aggressors and the kids are the smart ones. this is a shame. the fact is these legal advocates hailed this decision. it was like a big triumph for pregnant cocaine users. this is supposed to be a great thing. >> bill: well, there is a couple of things in play. a lot of the judges see drug addicts now as victims of a disease and no matter what they do, you can't hold them accountable, all right? but in your case, gutfeld, why has parenting changed, or the attitude thwarted? what has changed it? >> well, i think it used to be admired, but i think the nuclear family is seen as a nuclear option. it's no longer seen as something great or grand to actually create something. i'm a hypocrite, i don't have kids. i will one kay, i think. maybe it's

i'm greg gutfeld. see you next time. oh now i have 10 seconds.ntil the o'reilly repeat starts that will happen right now.

i'm andy levy or as i am known in certain regions of thailand, greg gutfeld. now to tom shillou for a pre game report. >> coming up on tonight's show, unsan terry conditions, food shortages and camping out on deck. the try yum cruise or my first new york apartment? you decide. and a group of shadowing bureaucrats have decided to eliminate the ancient sport of wrestling from the olympics. looks like chief jay strong bow won't be competing in 2020. and if you are a politician don't get caught tweeting with young girls unless the young girl is crore see -- secret daughter in which case, whoa! and no this is not a story about bill schulz. >> thanks, tom, see you at the half. >>> i am here with criminal defense attorney remi spencer. and jaw derosa, he is author of the book "cheat" seen here and no where else because it is flying off the shelves. filling in for a lump of coal it is bill schulz. and next to me is matt welch "reason magazine"'s editor-in-chief. >> a block, the lede. that's the first story. >> did the final frontier just give as you souvenir? no, but

i'm andrea tantaros with kimberly guilfoyle, bob beckel, dana perino, greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city. this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> andrea: another dramatic deadline looms for the nation and congress is again nowhere to be found. a wave of deep spending cuts are scheduled to take effect on march 1 that could cost hundreds and thousands of american jobs. lawmakers are on vacation until monday. now obama has been out selling his side of the fiscal fight on local television. >> the automatic spending cuts put in place in 2007 were designed to get congress to avoid them to come together with sensible approaches to debt reduction. >> andrea: john boehner called the current budget crisis one that the president, himself, created. >> this sequester was the president's idea. his party needs to follow through on their plans to replace them. >> andrea: this was the president's idea. carney the press secretary admitted as much to bret baier. the president in 2011 said he would veto any attempt to try to replace the cuts. now he is crying help, what do we do? kimberly, thi

i'm eric bolling with kimberly guilfoyle, bob beckel, dana perino, greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city. this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> eric: the shooter who killed usama bin laden has spoken but what he is saying may surprise you. look, bin laden is dead and america is safer. the guy who hit him is out of work and struggling to feed his family. cautious and careful not to leak secrets or put the country at risk. he is broke. he served 16 years in the navy, not 20 years to earn a pension and he is thrown out of the healthcare system because his 180 days ran out. some people can cash in on the kill. "zero dark thirty" for example. >> 100%. >> we will never find him. ♪ ♪ >> he is one of them. >> eric: that film is grossing $100 million. is it fair that the guy with deployments and 30 plus kills including bin laden is struggling to put football and healthcare for his wife and -- food and healthcare on the table for his wife and kids? should this be how we treat heroes? you're shaking your head. crazy. >> andrea: c'mon. if zero dark 30 wins, this is the best solution.

i'm jesse in for greg gutfeld. thursday night i do water world for o'reilly. it, here is a sample. >> who is that? >> bush senior. >> that hurts, man. >> there you go again. >> is your favorite founding father? >> abraham lincoln. >> he is not a founding father? >> no. first president. >> what is a founding father. >> hi, i'm earth. have we met? >> do you know what the unemployment rate is now? >> 99%. >> congresswoman. you said fox news live. could you name? >> what is she doing? i never know what she is doing. >> the next bill o'reilly? not a good look for you, son. trust me. >> straight talk. >> is obama doing a good job? >> yes, he is. president of the united states. he's not obama. he's the president of the united states. thank you. >> best award winning television. wouldn't you ut it in. >> you got none of those answers on there? >> of course i did. of course i did. but none of those people were wearing bikinis. >> did nip say the unemployment rate is 7.9%? >> a few people nail it. >> 80%, 75% of people had no clue what is going on. that is a large numbe

i'm greg gutfeld or as i am known in panama, the creeper. what is coming up on tonight's show, old sport? >> our top story, a second grader is sent home after throwing an imaginary grenade. the latest on the war on playing war straight ahead. and the post office says it will stop delivering mail on saturdays. for you young people out there, the postal system is what old people use to communicate by sending written material from house to house. weird, i know. and the grammies issue a wardrobe advisory, asking to stop from showing breasts. congratulations, andy. you got what you wanted. >> what do you mean? >> monopoly. they replaced the iron with the cat. >> the people have spoken. >> i think you rigged it. >> i rigged nothing. >> i love it because a cat is a smoother removal than an iron at the emergency room. >> there is that. and now all we have to do is get rid of the stupid terrier dog. she is so hot that boy scouts sing songs around her. she is like a campfire. i am here with author, columnist and fox news contributor, jedediah bila. an