>> jimmy: that's goo >> jimmy: are you the only cameo?r one >> jimmy: wow, dj khaled this show is going to be great lil jon, what will you use to renovate these houses? >> what? >> jimmy: i'm sorry. i said, what will you use to renovate the houses? >> what? >> jimmy: we -- we must have a a bad connection i was saying, what will you use to renovate the houses >> shiplap >> jimmy: perfect. thank you. lil jon, usher and dj khaled, everyone [ cheers and applause shiplap. finally, in the uk, two men were just arrested for running a cannabis farm inside an abandoned bingo hall when the police burst into the bingo hall, the guys were like, "oh, crap. we have a great show, give it up for the roots, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: what a show we have for you tonight. one of my favorites joining us in studio, she executive produces the new peacock comedy series, "girls5eva." tina fey is here >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause tina >> jimmy: in studio. oh, come on. >> steve: tina >> jimmy: also, joining us in studio, th

and i was like - >> jimmy: ja >> ja. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ja >> they're my best friends >> jimmy: aren't >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's you >> yeah, that's a through line >> jimmy: that's you how it ends. >> i live, laugh, love to party. >> jimmy: how did you -- [ laughter ] how did you come up with the idea and what - >> so, well, it takes place on the last day on earth. and my character is on a a journey across los angeles accompanied by her younger self who's played by the brilliant cailee spaeny. and -- >> jimmy: she is great >> she's amazing and we're trying to get to the last party before -- before we all explode. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i love that. >> yeah. and -- daryl wein, who co-wrote it and co-directed it with me, and i came up with it pretty early on in quarantine and we were, like, very careful, obviously, about covid safety protocols we, like, took it an extra step further. outside of one scene, the entire thing is shot outdoors and six feet apart >> jimmy: yeah >> and -- and it was a very small crew there were four crew members >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah, which was

>> jimmy: he receives an email >> steve: from who >> jimmy: subject -- >> steve: what >> jimmy: "you [ audience oohs ♪ >> steve: ooh. "the plot. >> jimmy: yeah anyways, it's a summer of reading. here it is it's so fun. enjoy this "the plot. [ cheers and applause i'm going to start reading it. you should start reading it too. there's so much good stuff happening this summer. i'm reading, i'm getting to that there's good tv. i'm watching my "below deck med. is it med? yeah, captain sandy is the greatest i'm watching -- "big brother" is good. right, it is good. there's so many good -- documentaries out there. quest's "summer soul" is available. that's out right now [ cheers and applause it's unbelievable. but, you know, i'm a big fan of rihanna's show so, i just heard about this. it's a new show on fox they're developing called "mousetra,p" and it's based on the hasbro game, mousetrap. yeah, i got to be -- i'm having a hard time imagining it because - [ laughter ] tv show based on a board game. i mean -- i'm serious. i don't have a clue what they would look like. it seems like a huge ri

>> jimmy: wow. >> or anything >> jimmy: yes! >> who created it? >> jimmy: yes! [ laughter ] yes!'m talking about! [ cheers and applause that's exactly what you want to hear time will tell i'm going to figure out what that means >> you will. >> jimmy: tom hiddleston, everybody. the one and only the season finale "loki" is available this wednesday on disney plus. [ cheers and applause when we come back, tom and i are going head to head in the mimic challenge. stick around come on back [ cheers and applause ♪ imu emu & doug ♪ oh! are you using liberty mutual's coverage customizer tool? sorry? well, since you asked. it finds discounts and policy recommendations, so you only pay for what you need. limu, you're an animal! who's got the bird legs now? only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ it only takes a second for an everyday item to become dangerous. tide pods child-guard pack helps keep your laundry pacs in a safe place and your child safer. to close, twist until it clicks. tide pods child-guard packaging. get ready - our most popular battery is even mor

>> jimmy: she is here. >> steve: that's a show. >> jimmy: if that wasn't enough - >> steve: what >> jimmyh the biggest band in the world. we're playing a brand-new game with bts tonight >> steve: whoa >> jimmy: this is a big show [ cheers and applause >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: i'm so happy guys, today's friday, and that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff i check my inbox, return some emails and, of course, send out thank you notes. [ cheers and applause and i was just running a bit behind i thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out my weekly thank you notes, right now. is that cool [ cheers and applause james, can i get some "thank you note" writing music, please ♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. olympic spirit >> jimmy: yeah thank you, olympics, for once again making me jealous that there are people who get paid to jump on trampolines [ laughter ] ♪ thank you, olympic diving, for not going by your original name, impressive falling [ laughter ] >> steve: ah beep, beep, beep ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, athlete bedrooms in the olympic village for finally answe

jimmy: oh, my goodness.me! please enjoy yourself. welcome everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show. [ cheers and applause wow. well, guys, i'm so excited about this, the biggest band in the world, bts is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ♪ seriously, you know you've made it when you can order yourself at mcdonald's. hi, we'll have the us. thank you. speaking of the biggest pop stars, let's get to some news. i saw that tomorrow, olivia rodrigo, is going to the white house, and she's going to team up with president biden and dr. fauci to make videos about getting vaccinated [ cheers and applause when his staff suggested bringing in popular musical artists, biden was like, "great idea how about glenn miller or the andrews sisters? [ laughter ] ♪ i'm kidding. biden loves olivia rodrigo, but he sings it like, "i got my yesterday, a record number of french citizens booked appointments after president emmanuel macron said you need to be vaccinated to go to cafes that's right, french people

i was talking about. >> jimmy: the entrepreneur >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: oh, yeah, you're right.y coming back [ cheers and applause for being one of the best shows to get tickets for, and the worst show to be an understudy for. ladies and gentlemen, tonight the role of bruce springsteen will be played by terry. 1, 2, 1, 2, 3 and 4. ♪ i grew up on the street of jersey and i didn't know much so i went to mercy ♪ ♪ and over in londo things were pretty hecti but i can't -- didn't expect it ♪ expect it? [ cheers and applause ♪ didn't expect it ♪ yeah you wanted bruce, but it's me terry, you dididn't expect it, right? >> queststlove: yeah, keep it going. >> steve: sure >> jimmy: yeah, sure yeah, of course. jimmmmy, great jimmy, everything is cool. what did out there, rapping, was so awesome don't check the internet [ light laughter ] >> steve: don't, seriously don't, no. give me your - >> jimmy: it was great dude, it was so funny. >> steve: i loved it >> jimmy: what you did, that rap, when you improvised -- ju, dude, that was so good don't check there. just stay away stay away for the

>> jimmy: yes! [ laughter ] >> "you cried for jimmy fallon?" >> jimmy: "yes, dad!ad >> jimmy: no tears, dad. i love that story. dad, you're right. yeah, you can't cry here, man. we love you too much >> so disappointed >> jimmy: but that's so funny. come on. then we had you on and we have to do this, really, for when we talk about the show. we have to say -- we have to show it and say, "you're on the show, 'schitt's creek.'" [ cheers and applause and we have to show them, legally. "ew, david," became a catch prase of yours do people just scream that at you now, which is odd? >> yes >> jimmy: ew >> and i just found out recently -- some woman told us that i only actually say, "ew, david," twice in the entire series >> jimmy: no >> yes and i -- but i also said, "ugh, david. or like, "why, david?" like i - >> jimmy: yes, yes, you said it [ cheers and applause >> i tacked david on to whatever i possibly could. and it just kind of spiraled out of -- this "ew, david" thing spiraled out of control. >> jimmy: you're phenomenal. i mean, people are just doing impressions of yo

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. hey, hey. oh, that's very nice, thank you. hi. look at this. it's people again. aww, appreciate that. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thank you. i know. it's been a long time. that's very nice. please sit, relax, relax. that's nice. this is our second night with a half-full -- is this audience half-full or half-empty? [ laughter ] i guess that depends on how you look at life, really. we have 89 vaccinated people in our studio audience. [ cheers and applause ] it's weird having half an audience. it's like thanos snapped his fingers and killed the rest of you. [ laughter ] speaking of thanos, we got an interesting bit of tid this morning, about the former president of the united states. the orange one. you remember him? [ laughter ] the daily beast says that, in 2019, donald trump wanted the government to investigate, guess who, guillermo? me. >> guillermo: you? why, why? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: look at this, "according to two people familiar with the matter, trump asked advisers and lawyers in early 201

i'm a woman of my gosh darn word, jimmy. >> jimmy: that's right you are!pretty much anywhere that there's -- anywhere that there's good acoustics, parking lots, bathrooms, anywhere. >> jimmy: a grocery store? >> grocery store >> jimmy: i saw you in a a grocery store. actually, do we have the video we have the video. let's just watch this for a second ♪ and i will always love you ♪ [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: you got busted you're like, "oh, someone saw me!" >> yeah. that woman looks traumatized by my impromptu performance or it was also the first time she was out of the house does everyone remember the first time they left the house 'cause it was a big moment, right? >> jimmy: oh yeah. it's gigantic. it's like -- it's the best i mean, this is the first time these guys are out of the house. they're here tonight [ cheers and applause they're so excited >> so cool >> jimmy: right before you came in, they came out and they're like - ♪ and i ♪ they all were doing it [ laughter ] >> yeah, i mean, i sing it - and if you've ever heard anyone singing in a b

i'm jimmy. i'm the host. i appreciate that. [ cheers and applause ] listen, i got to tell you. [ cheers and applause ] that's nice. i am happy to see other human beings, too. [ laughter ] we are coming to you from the city of los angeles, where we have a lot of weird stuff in l.a. this is a strange place to live. we have earthquakes. we have wildfires. we have kardashians. [ laughter ] we have mountain lions. last night we had cows. >> the cows are believed to have broken free from a nearby meat-packing plant. sheriff's deputies have been trying to corral the cows from cul-de-sacs but they keep escaping. >> they may decide to take matters into their own hands, 3 and we are going to back up. as the cow goes down the street -- and this is one determined cow -- did they get the cow in? did they get the cow in? where is the cow, sir? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: real terror, you don't hear that much on tv. you know, in a place like wyoming, that would have been handled in about ten minutes. [ la

. >> jimmy: oh, smashing. >> or smashing >> jimmy: smashing >> jimmy: three words that rhyme. >> knicksomething gray, something blue, and something green. gray >> a dolphin >> jimmy: dolphin. what's blue? >> gatorade. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] and something green? >> mint chip ice cream >> jimmy: that's my jam. >> yeah, right >> jimmy: that's my jam. a plural noun. >> couches [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a verb ending in ing >> shaving >> jimmy: plural body part >> ass cheeks. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: all right. this is the speed round. >> jimmy: animal >> aardvarks >> jimmy: the sound a horse would make >> whinny. dinner food >> salmon. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: cartoon character or mascot >> lightning mcqueen >> jimmy: adjective. >> um, dumb. >> jimmy: yeah plural type of animal. >> poodles >> jimmy: celebrity. >> brad pitt >> jimmy: year and model of your first car >> volvo, 1995 >> jimmy: yeah >> yeah! >> jimmy: all right perfect. we have filled out the words are you ready to perform our scene? >> yeah. >> jimmy: let's go [ cheers and applause ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy

it's easy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's fantastic >> super simple. >> jimmy: yeah, no excuses >> no. >> jimmyended in death. a third one of his patients has since died like, just could not be any worse. >> jimmy: yeah >> i missed all this while it was happening. so, when the job came to me, patrick macmanus, who is the executive producer and writer, he -- we're talking on the phone and he's giving me the whole pitch. and he basically said, "look, there's an amazing podcast go listen to the podcast and then let's talk about it again. and so i went and listened to the podcast. and it -- i mean, it's like a horror story you know, you cannot believe that this -- >> jimmy: it's even worse than a horror story >> yeah, it is - 'cause it's true and real bodies were damaged this man is probably going to spend the rest of his life in jail, as he well should. but the system that created him still exists and that's, to me, what's so scary about this story, is that he's the kind of perfect storm of evil man with bad intentions, but it took a whole system around him to allow him to keep on doing that damag

. >> jimmy: uh-huh >> "jack and jill. >> jimmy: i know >> and "hubie halloween. >> jimmy: that's veryy, shaq before you go, tell me a joke. >> what did i say when i walked under the st. louis arch >> jimmy: what >> ow. [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. [ applause ] it's wireless, too >> jimmy: wireless >> steve: like tesla >> jimmy: wireless echo. >> steve: beamed in. >> jimmy: that's pretty cool thanks to shaquille o'neal for helping us out with that [ cheers and applause hey, guys, a lot is happening in the news right now. sometimes i find the best way to explain the news is with music. i'll show you what i mean. it's time for "news radio. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ news radi news radio news radio hey ♪ >> jimmy: earlier this week, richard branson became the first person to leave earth in his own spaceship. yeah, he just hopped in and took off like -- ♪ i'm like a bird ♪ [ laughter ] people had their doubts. but it just kept going - ♪ up then it's up then it's up then it's stuck ♪ elon musk was getting a little jealous. he was looking at branson's ship like -- ♪ you you got what i need ♪ a

>> jimmy: yes. >> dave: yeah, no.lly -- i'm really happy to be here this is definitely one of the coolest things that i've done today. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really >> dave: no, of course not i was in nirvana [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, let's get to some news. guys, here's some good news to kick things off. covid cases in the u.s. have dropped to the lowest level in almost a year. [ cheers and applause pretty soon the only place you'll see dr. fauci is popping out of a costume on "the masked singer." [ laughter ] that's right things are really coming back. audiences are back [ cheers and applause restaurants are back [ cheers and applause >> dave: kevin spacey is back. >> jimmy: no, dave, no, no dave, no, no no, no, no, no, no [ laughter ] we'll cut that later we'll cut that later as the pandemic is calming down, i heard that retailers are having a hard time unloading all of the hand sanitizer that they stocked up on over the past year. right now the ceo of purell and the ceo of zoom are just holding each other cryin

and now jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. thank you very much. hi, i'm jimmy. i am the host of the show. thanks for watching. oh, man. we have quite a show for you tonight. we have quite a few things on tap. i have a major announcement to make tonight. we have a miracle at sea. a man who was swallowed whole by a sea creature, and is here to tell us about that experience. [ cheers and applause ] and we also are following the travels of joe biden, who spent the day in geneva for a much-anticipated summit with rootin' tootin' vladimir putin. [ laughter ] biden was there to convey that the united states will not tolerate any more malarkey, shenanigans, or panky of the hanky type. at all. [ laughter ] he told reporters he's seeking a predictable and rational relationship with russia. which happens to be the same thing i told my wife when we exchanged wedding vows. [ laughter ] the meeting was shorter than expected. it was supposed to go four or five hours, but they wrapped it up in less than three. i had a feeling those two weren't going to make it to the hometown d

>> jimmy: yeah >> get in the tub -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah >> -- like it's water? ] i knew it going into production i was like, "oh, this is gonna be --" you, keegan-michael key. >> i love it so much >> jimmy: dude, the production on this thing is insanity. >> yes, yeah >> jimmy: can you set it up in a couple lines or what it's about? >> sure, i think so. i hope so. >> jimmy: yeah >> it's a couple that is kind of at a stale point in their relationship >> jimmy: yep. >> they're doctors and they go on a hike as one does to fix it >> jimmy: yeah >> and they get lost in a town that turns out to be a musical and they can't leave until they find true love, which is strange to hear if you think you're in love >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. i love that. they're stuck in this town - [ cheers and applause >> yeah. >> jimmy: and by the way, some heavy hitters in this, alan cumming, kristin chenoweth. >> yes >> jimmy: she -- how powerful? >> she's unreal. i feel like she made a quotable line out of every line she had >> jimmy: yeah >> she was just like, "oh, yes you

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> jimmy.areful and all of that stuff. i know it is terrifying. you say you are still spraying stuff. >> i'm spraying stuff, i am. >> jimmy: that falls into the category of neurosis now. >> so -- yes. i'm going to take "b." neurotic. totally neurotic. >> jimmy: so you didn't enjoy being by yourself? >> i did. i did. i am just now, i feel like is it the groundhog? i feel like looking around and deciding whether it is time to i went to one dinner with my out >> jimmy: oh, wow, that's a goodin tore go to. [ cheers and applause ] diane keaton. >> she's like, i've been going, sitting outside, i'm vaccinated, we can do it. i do decide to go. this is my first dinner in 17 months outside of my home. >> jimmy: wow. >> like i said, very committed. i went out. it was one of the more terrifying experiences of my life. >> jimmy: was it really? >> there was a guy sitting kitty-corner from our table who sneezed approximately 14 times and coughed repeatedly and didn't bother to stand up and go, "it's allergies

jimmy, you were there. >> jimmy: of course i was there. >> you were always there >> jimmy: yeah i wass so -- such a great feeling to see a a room - >> jimmy: a crowd. >> a crowd -- an audience. >> jimmy: feels good, right? >> it's -- [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: feels good it's amazing >> so it's not like a normal show so that's how come i keep wanting to get up and i want the lights to be on you -- >> jimmy: no, i love it. >> and i want to see you and i want to -- >> jimmy: no >> rejoice with you. >> jimmy: yes! >> and i want to bring back new york with you! [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: it's coming back i love that. we're coming back! guys, speaking of coming back, we're going to come back more talk vin diesel, we're going to talk "f9. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ searching, i've spent a lifetime, ♪ ♪ darling searching, ♪ ♪ looking for someone just like you ♪ ♪ [♪♪] if you're only using facial moisturizer in the morning, ♪ looking for someone just like you ♪ did you know, the best tim

yeah >> jimmy: eventually - i've seen them do it >> steve: eventually it's at there. >> jimmy: but doest -- like this, maybe >> steve: yeah, maybe that maybe that that looks good. you look good. >> jimmy: this looks -- i look like a fencer there. >> steve: yeah, a fencer with stolen - >> jimmy: just being cocky [ light laughter ] >> steve: yes, got to put pinky out on the sword >> jimmy: yeah, i throw the pinky out. [ light laughter ] >> steve: you know, have class there you go class it up a little bit >> jimmy: pure class pinky out on the sword, like that maybe like that. >> steve: yeah, like a a flourish like a - >> jimmy: like a - >> steve: like jazz hands. yeah, there you go there you go >> jimmy: this is how you fence? ♪ >> steve: yeah ♪ >> jimmy: that's how you fence >> steve: yeah [ cheers and applause en garde >> jimmy: get into - en garde, yeah >> steve: touche >> jimmy: also they also said fans aren't allowed to cheer >> steve: oh [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: although they say that at the beginning of every graduation and parents are still like, "thomas, yes tommy you did it t

and i now i'm just shooting the -- >> jimmy: yeah >> with paul mccartney >> jimmy: wow!"why don't you write that then? you know and i was like, "what? he's like "i'm in love and i'm happy. so i'm like scribbling the notes. yeah, paul mccartney said write this song. >> jimmy: paul mccartney wrote -- >> any other lines, you know >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> and so i -- so i went and i jumped in the shower i hope i don't get in trouble for telling this story and i look at my phone and there's like a little voice recording on my phone from paul mccartney and he sung a little bit of this song to tell me to go make the song "i'm in love and i'm happy. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! dude that is the greatest story i ever heard that is unbelievable >> it's crazy. so i'm dropping it on spotify friday, and apple music. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is -- yeah, exactly. i want to show a clip. everyone should check this out here is mark ronson and paul mccartney in "watch the sound. take a look. >> when you went into the studio, the early beatles stuff, you're just there to be the best band yo

>> jimmy: yes.: yes, we love that! >> i got one jimmy, i have separate control over my eyeballs do you want to see this? >> jimmy: yeah >> okay. hold on. i'm going to have to come in close. can you -- is that a good shot >> jimmy: yes. >> okay, ready [ audience oohs [ cheers ] >> jimmy: wow! whoa [ cheers and applause ♪ wow! when did you know you could do that >> i don't know. i've always felt like it was a a separate muscle and i could always tap into them but i guess i assumed everybody else had that, too and then once, in like, high school i did it and my friends were like, whoa! and then i realized, not everybody has it and i'll be able to apply it to absolutely nothing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely that's correct >> my talent but i will say, don't ever sneak up on me because i do have separate control. >> jimmy: ahh. >> i can look. >> jimmy: you see everything yeah but i want to talk you about this 'cause recently, it was just, it came out that you have a very big fan president barac

it was just jimmy's word.e prosecutor made him take a lie detector test and jimmy passed with flying colors. >> he was telling us the truth, so bottom line is we had further information that larry was responsible for tricia. >> a grateful beaumont decided to reward him with full credit for his brave undercover work, releasing him from prison, and scrubbing his criminal record clean. >> from his perspective, he expected to get nothing. from our perspective, of course, he spent time in the looney bin with this guy, going through this whole process. >> for 15 years, jimmy had been the only one to see those falcons that hall said watched over the dead. >> problem is we never got them, they disappeared, we don't know what happened to them. >> you've never seen the falcons? >> no. >> show you a picture. that's one of the falcons. >> "dateline" took pictures of a falcon when we met larry hall's twin brother. he said larry carved that falcon in the woodshop at the springfield prison, then mailed it to their mother. i

right now on jimmy kimmel >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live" with guest host arsenio hall! tonight, lebron james, richard e. grant, and music from tainy x yandel. and now, arsenio hall! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> arsenio: oh, yes! yes! [ audience woofs ] absolutely! hello. have a seat. cleto and the cletones. welcome, i'm your guest host, arsenio hall. thank you.nd applause ] yes. frankly, i just ran out of suits. [ laughter ] i know it's only been two nights, but hey. i ain't got a lot of suits these days. i tried on one of jimmy's suits, i snuck in his dressing room and tried on one of his suits. it was a little tight in the ass. [ laughter ] just a little tight. real tight. i almost passed out with his pants on. [ laughter ] as you know, jimmy is off until september. he's like an elementary school teacher that makes $15 million a year. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's what it sounds like to me, you know. this is my second and final night hosting the show. [ audience aws ] oh, you're very kind. my mom leading it. [ laughter ] after tonight, if i want a celeb

jimmy? i left you some "chipotle" under your desk.n the brink. >> people were generally feeling extremely scared to even do very basic things like go find food. >> with u.s. investigators on the ground, what haitians want to see for the future of their country. >> for haitians, haiti means equity. haiti means empathy. haiti means humanity. >>> plus black widow's best friend. even a superhero needs someone to have their back. scarlett johansson's stunt double. her childhood dreams launching her to the big screen. >> we're in a position we can inspire and empower girls of any age.

hello, and welcome to "jimmy kimmel live nba finals game night."osted by me, anthony anderson. [ cheers and applause ] we are in primetime for game five of the nba finals. now, milwaukee tied things up after the suns imploded in game four. phoenix had more turnovers than a german pastry shop. [ laughter ] once again, giannis came up big for the bucks. not only did he make the suns eat their words, he also made them eat a basketball. watch this. >> tucker on edge. throws it up for ayton! omiaistetokounmpo, what a block >> anthony: whew! you've got to watch out for giannis. that man will buck you up! you know, a lot of people were wondering why giannis mysteriously left the court during the first quarter in games three and four. well, turns out, he had a very good reason. >> yawn oes, second game in a row went out second quarter. curious, what's going on there? >> what the hell you say politely. [ speaking in foreign language ] a tinkle. >> a tinkle? >> yeah. >> anthony: the greek freak took a leak! [ laughter ] "i went to take a tinkle --" how does

"jimmy, hope rehab going good." "good luck jimmy kimmel you can make it! one day at a time." "sending strength and positive vibes to cotton mouth kimmel. you got this, bro." [ applause ] that's a good start, but we can't stop now. jimmy needs us more than ever. oh, and i failed to mention last night, the thing he's addicted to? is steroids. oh, it's a tough time, but he's jacked as hell right now. so please, show him you care. use our new hashtag -- #jackedupjimmy. [ applause ] jimmy, we're sending our best to you, and your scrunched up 'roid nuts. we have a special guest on the show tonight. all the way from minneapolis, the kid who holds the guinness world record for the biggest mouth gape. he's 16 years old, and his mouth can fit all kinds of stuff. here he is backstage earlier today having a quadruple burger. and later, we're gonna put that jaw to the test. speaking of big mouth kids, donald trump. remember him? well, you're note going to believe this, but he said something crazy. according to a new tell-all book, back in 2019, trump told his chief of staff, and i quote:

why the hostages happened on jimmy's watch. >> thank you all!w success outside the white house, where together they started the carter center in atlanta, a human rights organization that has literally eliminated diseases from third world countries and has helped to ensure free elections around the world. >> we had a new life, we loved each other more than we did before. >> reporter: the two of them worked together to build houses with habitat for humanity. they've helped build or repair more than 4,300 homes across the world. >> we've talked about covid. how are you both feeling? >> well, even the isolation of covid, we have hardly left our house here in plains. and even that has made us more aware of each other. before that, we had not been together all that much. >> and so it was just jimmy and me, and it was really wonderful. >> president carter, you say often that marrying mrs. carter was the pinnacle of your life. more than any presidency. >> oh, yes. that was the most important. having roslyn say okay, finally, and stay with me this long,

jimmy is still on the loose.f you have any information about his whereabouts, please share them with our new hashtag, #jailbirdjimmy. [ laughter ] and jimmy, if you're watching this -- come home, man. your kids need a hug from your swole creepy biceps. [ laughter ] speaking of body transformations. north korean leader kim jong-un has reportedly lost 44 pounds. yeah, he did it by using p-90-execution. [ laughter ] if he's anything like my friends who have lost 44 pounds, he's about to write an annoying post on facebook about his "weight loss journey." [ laughter ] this report on kim jong-un came from south korean spies. yeah. what kinds of spies are these? "uh, no new information on crimes against humanity, but kim's waist is snatched as hell." [ laughter ] [ applause ] in sports news, the tampa bay lightning won their second stanley cup in a row last night. [ cheers and applause ] yeah! did you watch the game? >> guillermo: no, i didn't, i didn't, yeah. sorry, sorry. [ laughter ] >> wanda: all right. and to celeb

and stay tuned for jimmy kimmel live. good night >>> from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live" with guest host wanda sykes! tonight - colin farrell -- quinta brunson -- a kid with a huge mouth -- and music from japanese breakfast. and now -- wanda sykes! [ cheers and applause ] >> wanda: have a seat. thank you so much. hello and welcome to "jimmy kimmel live." i'm your guest host, wanda sykes. [ applause ] this is my second night here. last night, i started a rumor that jimmy's in rehab. [ laughter ] i encouraged you all to tweet your support for jimmy with the hashtag #cottonmouthkimmel. a lot of you reached out with words of encouragement. "jimmy, hope rehab going good." "good luck jimmy kimmel you can make it! one day at a time." "sending strength and positive vibes to cotton mouth kimmel. you got this, bro." [ applause ] that's a good start, but we can't stop now. jimmy needs us more than ever. oh, and i failed to mention last night, the thing he's addicted to? is steroids. it's a tough time, but he's jacked as hell r

>> dicky: from holly "jimmy kimmel live nba finals game night" witht -- chance the rapper, and an nba edition of "mean tweets." presented by nissan and youtube tv. and now, anthony anderson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> anthony: hello and welcome to "jimmy kimmel live nba finals game night." i am your guest host, anthony anderson. [ cheers and applause ] i'm filling in for jimmy, who is off having a white boy summer. tonight, from phoenix, game one of the nba finals between the suns and the bucks. milwaukee versus phoenix. it's the battle of cheap connecting flights. you know, it's hard to explain the excitement of having your team in the finals, but this phoenix fan really slammed it home. >> it's been since 1993. the valley is, like -- if you are boiling potatoes on a stove and it's like, you got to check it because the water's about to blow, that's us right now. >> anthony: right. in case you're wondering, they legalized weed in arizona eight months ago. and it appears to be working. but mr. potato head's got a point. the last time the suns were in the finals was 1993. to give yo

i'm not jimmy kimmel's guest host. okay? jimmy kimmel is my guest host.e fills in for me 358 days a year. [ laughter ] this is exciting. game two of the nba finals between the milwaukee bucks and the phoenix suns! [ cheers and applause ] there's a lot at stake in the finals. for instance, whoever wins will become the first nba team in four years to not decline an invite to the white house. [ cheers and applause ] u.s. presidents have a complicated history with basketball. and that's because the only president to ever look cool holding one was barack obama. look at my dude. he's got form. he's got hops. he can even play while taking a business call on a flip phone. other presidents just did not look natural holding the rock at all. here's ronald reagan pretending he's seen a basketball before. [ laughter ] patrick ewing's going "ronny, just hold the ball and take the damn picture, man." [ laughter ] here's george h.w. bush threatening to shut down the youth center. side note. after this photo was taken he actually shut down the youth center. [ laughter ] a

"jimmy kimmel live nba finals game night" with guest host anthony anderson. tonight -- johnny knoxville and mark cuban. presented by nissan and youtube tv. and now, anthony anderson. ♪ >> anthony: you know who you are. you know who you are. you know who you are. hello. thank you. hello and welcome to our game night special. i'm your guest host, anthony anderson. more applause, please. [ cheers and applause ] we are coming to you in prime time for game three of the nba finals between the milwaukee bucks and the phoenix suns. it's game three, but giannis is still shooting his free throws from game two. giannis, of course, has been playing through a knee injury, and the other night he hurt his back because he had to carry his entire team. kind of rough. the suns took the first two games. i think i know what the problem is for the bucks. it's their head coach. he dresses like an assistant manager at rei. and this dude's pep talks are so not so peppy. >> play fast, play random, play together. do it together. >> play fast, play random. do it together. that's also w

i'm a "tiny jew" to black people. >> they also know jimmy kimmel as jimmy kimble. right? be nick crowes. >> nick: i'll take it happily. people genuinely be to me -- there's nobody that can snipe you better than a 14-year-old black kid. >> oh, yeah. >> nick: they just can nail you pop culture-wise perfectly. i think to most black teenagers, oh, there's that small [ bleep ] dude from "big mouth." [ laughter ] that's what i'll get, and that's great. >> fabulous. it's not a fun one to be known as. >> nick: no, it's not great. it's a cartoon, okay? >> i'll take m'baku. [ laughter ] >> nick: in doing "big mouth," i talk to people about their puberty a lot. how was your puberty? was it a blast? [ laughter ] >> you know, this is a safe space. >> nick: yes. >> is it? >> nick: nobody's watching, it's just us. [ cheers and applause ] >> get the kroll out of here. it's a safe space. >> nick: absolutely. >> i'm going to follow in the footsteps of seth. >> nick: yes, great. >> and share a story of mine that, you know, i got caught by my mother watching some unsavory material once. >> n

welcome to "jimmy kimmel live." i am jimmy. [ laughter ] yes. this is fun.his is not only fun to do but this is fun -- i'm wearing pants. with a zipper. pants with a zipper. [ applause ] yes. this is one of my first times out of the house. i take covid very seriously. i think the most dangerous place i went to this year was the in-n-out drive-thru. [ laughter ] and i didn't even order nothing. i just drove through. [ laughter ] by the way, i'm looking at myself. the shaven head is all new. eventually you don't choose your haircut. your haircut choose you. [ laughter ] you know? for those of you -- you all look a little young. for those of you who are fans -- i think it's just me and you, bro. [ laughter ] for those of you who are fans of my old show, i brought something that you'll remember. check this out. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] yes. it's my old flat top, baby! it's back! if i can just stand like this for an hour. [ laughter ] okay, enough of that. get out of here. you all have a good weekend? [ cheers and applause ] anyone fly into space? you know where

who is jimmy kimmel?jimmy kimmel is a stinky old bitch. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> anthony: feel free to try this at home. how's everybody feeling tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right? that's good. that's good because we all need to stay positive right now. according to a recent survey, last year set a record for negative emotions. 4 in 10 adults say they were worried or stressed during 2020, the other 6 were just high as [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] speaking of emotions, this week, we just got a look at the new emojis that are coming to our phones in the next few months. there's a biting lip. a troll. a smiley face who just took a hit of acid. [ laughter ] there are also a bunch of new hand emy knowledge joes, like these. that's for when you want to say a diverse team of doctors is checking your testicles. [ laughter ] [ applause ] there's also a new pregnant man emo emoji. also known as "guillermo after a big lunch." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] hey, buddy,

and so he knew something from jimmy carter. he opens the envelope and there carter says big you ever know when to stop? now he was proud of this note. he thought it was like signified the nature of his access to the president. but you know, this relationship work carter down. by the third year of the presidency during the hostage crisis, big was beginning to win the argument. he was the one who is constantly urging cards respond to the crisis he was the one who persuaded carter in the end reluctantly to give a green light to the helicopter rescue mission. which turned out to be a disaster. i think the preordained to be a disaster could never have succeeded. he was in favor of force and it is ironic it is over this you, he finally resigned leaving him standing on the field. this is i think one of the tragedies of the carter foreign policy apparatus. >> was there an october surprise in 1980? we note from the archives it looks like there is an october surprise in 1968 involving the nixon administration d-link negotiations and viet

right now, jimmy kimmel with >> dicky:: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live" with guest host anthony anderson! tonight -- from "the suicide squad," margot robbie, john cena, and director james gunn. plus metta world peace, and music from pnb rock featuring swae lee and pink sweat$. and now, anthony anderson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> anthony: all right! i see you! i see you! i see you! okay! all right! [ cheers and applause ] keep it going, keep it going! [ cheers and applause ] all right. welcome to "jimmy kimmel live!" i'm your guest host, anthony anderson. i love you too, baby. it's a new day, and we have a new nba champion! [ cheers ] last night, the milwaukee bucks won their first nba title in 50 years. [ cheers and applause ] they beat phoenix 105-98. the game was such a disaster for the suns, chris paul had to file a claim with state farm to cover his losses. [ laughter ] and after they closed it out, the bucks opened the liquor cabinet. >> no one up here has been drinking -- >> oh. >> first and foremost, how much champagne have each of you consumed? i feel it's important,

great job spike thanks about shoot jimmy, jessica and spike great work. jimmy you almost won. it. cities has some mayors and pleading for more cops. of the finally realizing their call to defend the police? might not be a great idea. i will be with clark neily next. monitor, check and lock down you money with security from chase. control feels good. chase. make more of what's yours. there's an america we build and one we explore. one that's been paved and one that's forever wild. but freedom means you don't have to choose just one adventure. you get both. introducing the wildly civilized all-new 3-row jeep grand cherokee l seeing blood when you brush or floss can be a sign of early gum damage. introducing the wildly civilized new parodontax active gum repair kills plaque bacteria at the gum line to help keep the gum seal tight. new parodontax active gum repair toothpaste. reverent democrat mayors for pushing the police that is all out the window now. the reach is 16-year-old high they plan to hire 178 new officers. this is how seattle and portland basilar spikes there mayors are c

ellen last week, jimmy this week. next week, i'll be filling in for bill cosby at the pennsylvania state penitentiary. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] did you all have a good long weekend? [ cheers and applause ] i hope you had fun taking blurry pictures of fireworks you'll never look at. [ laughter ] i know i did. >> everybody doing fireworks. look at that, fireworks all over. >> wanda: okay, wait a minute. when i shot that, i was three margaritas deep. [ laughter ] and thought i was ava duvernay. [ laughter ] this year, the fourth of july fell on a sunday. all over america, people were sitting in church wearing star-spangled booty shorts. [ laughter ] just as the founding fathers intended. [ laughter ] you may have seen this online. facebook ceo mark zuckerberg celebrated our nation's independence in the dorkiest way possible. ♪ west virginia mountain mama ♪ ♪ take me home country road ♪ [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> wanda: for some reason, that offends me more than the people who stormed the capitol. [ laughter

president jimmy carter and first lady rosalynn carter marked 75 years of marriage tomorrow.lasting love with abc's steve osunsami. >> reporter: this is a love story where the first few pages were written in rural georgia. >> when i first had a date with her, the next morning i told my wife -- my mother, that was the girl i wanted to marry. >> life with jimmy carter has been an adventure. >> reporter: in a rare interview, president and mrs. carter tell us that they're planning to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary with a large party in plains, georgia, with 300 people invited. >> well, it turned out to be too big, but i think it will be okay. >> reporter: so tell me about this anniversary. >> we try to share as much as we possibly can do. you know, exciting and enjoyable things like bird watching and downhill skiing and fly fishing, things like that. >> reporter: you've gone fly fishing recently? >> yes. i went last year. >> we have a little pond in front of our house, and i go out and cast. >> reporter: he's turning 97 this year, and she is turning 94. he jokes that sh

>> anthony: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live nba finals game night." i'm anthony anderson.ris >> thank you.>>ntho: wh is e ceremony? >> it is going to be the 9th through the 11th of september. so we're really excited about it. >> anthony: congratulations again. >> thank you. >> anthony: well, tonight, all you need to do is make one shot from the top of the key. and if you make it, dicky, tell us what he gets. >> dicky: if chris makes the shot, $25,000 will be donated to the charity of chris's voice, courtesy of chime, the easy and free debit card used by millions of americans. >> anthony: okay, chris, what charity have you chosen? >> we've chosen team tomorrow, a charity that benefits youth for reading, coding and leadership. >> anthony: okay, all right. sounds like a great cause. you feeling confident that you can make this shot from here tonight? >> yeah, yeah. >> anthony: okay. good luck. i forgot to mention, this is no ordinary three-point shot. because this is -- >> hell hoop! >> anthony: we've introduced four levels of hell designed to distract and annoy you. this is

i didn't look for it that it that among the minute jimmy. jimmy, jim, jimmy, i'm calling to know why? why not? i did give you to a lady and they couldn't read. did you need not allowing them tonight in it being handled what i'm going to have a little now thought. i'm a counselor. hey, i've been, i don't think we have any will blow up and down for that. you know, when i, when i had done on, on a more holy, i want to let you know what was what was, what was, what with me me, honey. i've been trying to call you you're not sharing your messages. i know you said you've been a said you're going to go to uh i just wanted to talk to you . yeah. i yeah. oh, i would love to get to the room. i'm going to and i'm doing my summer, i want you to company ruby and i will need to bring yes to be you know, i'm just thinking i'm just thinking, it's really important that we try. i best to make sure it doesn't go well, what do we watch and we just like life together. that's what, that's why i'm making this trip. big the you know what is going around the the the with the news, the news, [000:00:00;00] the

hello and welcome to "jimmy kimmel live!"e athisre.gingtuo 54phoebe [ cheers and applause ] excited! okay. i've got to be honest. i've had a tough week, you guys. [ audience moaning ] i know. the other night, my boyfriend forced me to watch a 90-minute documentary about zz top. [ laughter ] yeah. but i guess it's my fault for dating white people. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i brought it on myself, right, guillermo? >> guillermo: sorry, white people are the worst. [ laughter ] >> phoebe: okay. so how many of you are visiting from out of town? [ cheers and applause ] okay, okay. me, too. i flew in from brooklyn to do this. okay? 6 hours, 4 masks, 12 reruns of "big bang theory." it was grim. [ laughter ] okay, i've actually been anxious to fly, and not just because of covid. but because of crazy stuff like this is happening on planes. >> with more and more passengers going nuts on airplanes and episodes of violence in the airways at historic levels, the tsa is conducting self-defense classes like this for flight attendants and cre

watch me host "jimmy kimmel live!" with offset, henry golding, and robin thicke.