you look great. >> jimmy, you look sharp. >> jimmy: no, thank you so much. >> you look great. >> jimmyit gets you -- it loosens everyone up. >> especially when i'm sober. i got to start -- >> jimmy: i did, i did know that, yeah. welcome. how are you enjoying new york? is the weather, the cold weather? i know you're an l.a. kind of -- >> it is cold. it is cold, right. is it cold out there? >> yeah! >> jimmy: a little chilly. >> it's good. it's a good change though because l.a. is -- it's always, you know, you sweat on christmas in l.a. >> jimmy: yeah, i know. it's very hot. >> it's awful. yeah, here you get -- i grew up in the snow. so i like around christmas, i miss it, you know. i left the snow when i was 7, so i didn't really, you know, people say, oh, you are so lucky to live in california -- you don't have to deal with any of the weather. well, i got out of the weather before i had to do anything with it. like, you know, a 7-year-old doesn't get handed a shovel, you know. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's all snowmen and snowball fights and skiing -- >> jimmy: for little kids. yeah, yeah, ex

jimmy!s and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you everyone. welcome. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, everyone, to "late night with jimmy fallon." thank you for being here. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, everybody. hey, it is past midnight, everybody, which means it's already valentine's day, everybody, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] happy valentine's day. and i heard the trend this year is couples saying they don't need to get each other anything for valentine's day because they love each other every day. [ laughter ] i think that's sweet, yeah. to all the guys out there who watch me, i just want to say -- [ whispers ] -- it's a trap. [ laughter and applause ] buy someth

but "jimmy fallon" is happening ipero " jimmy fallon " pasa right now! ahora! jimmy! i jimmy!plause ] ♪ ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! that's a welcome. thank you so much. welcome, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] that's so nice. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] oh, very good. [ cheers and applause ] hot show tonight, gonna be fun. welcome, we're gonna have fun. we're gonna have fun tonight. everyone -- everyone is still talking about the oscars. that's all everyone is talking about. and get this, you guys. last night's show lasted about three hours and 40 minutes. [ scattered cheers ] even jennifer lawrence's dress was like "that's way too long." [ laughter ] did you see this? the entire cast of "les miserables" performed a so

come on, jimmy. >> jimmy: hey, i'm just making sure., the oscars are this weekend. are you excited? >> oh, yes, jimmy. i love the oz-cars. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: walter, did you see any of the nominated movies? >> yes. i saw r-joe. lincolon. dejanjo un-channed and life of pee. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they were all great. did you see -- did you happen to see "beast of the southern wild?" >> is that the movie with the little girl named -- [ robot voice gibberish ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yes. [ laughter ] >> no. but i did see "less miserables." >> jimmy: you're not saying it right. it's "les miserables." >> oh, let me try again. [ with french accent ] "les miserables." >> jimmy: perfect actually. >> thank you. >> jimmy: now, i didn't ask you this before, but what were you doing in hollywood? >> i was acting in my very first ak-sheon movie. >> jimmy: wow, congrats walter. i knew you were doing some acting but i didn't know you were in an action movie. incredible. >> oh yes, thank you, jimmy. i'm just trying to be like

, ben & jerry's late night snack ice cream or $100. >> jimmy: wow. >> steve: jimmy. >> jimmy: wow.ion. all right. contestant number one, you are up first. audience, help him out. what number should he pick? [ audience yelling ] >> i'll go -- i'll go with 4. >> jimmy: you're going to go with 4. all right. i'm talking about tessa! ♪ tessa >> jimmy: tessa, feels like that bucket is light. give him that $100. oh! [ audience ohs ] bummer. [ sad tuba ] well, thank you, tessa. sorry about that. >> it's not $100. >> jimmy: that's not $100. it feels like it, but it is not. all right. that was pepto-bismol right there. i'm so sorry, but it works. it works. all right, contestant number two -- hey, that's one down. you don't have to -- you got to be happy about that. >> i like that. i'm going to go with number 6. >> jimmy: number 6. i'm talking about beth. ♪ beth >> jimmy: beth, give him that $100, please. no! [ audience ohs ] [ sad tuba ] ay-caramba. almost was there. i thought for a second. i saw green coming out, but it was brown chocolate syrup instead. so sorry. all right, here we go. con

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everyone. welcome. welcome! thank you for coming. thank you for watching. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. how you feeling tonight? feeling good? [ cheers and applause ] here's what people are talking about. today, the postal service announced that it will stop delivering mail on saturdays in an effort to save $2 billion a year. postal workers were shocked. they were like, "we were supposed to deliver mail on saturdays?" [ laughter ] did you hear about this? peta is criticizing beyonce for the leather costume she wore during the super bowl halftime show. or as the ball got kicked and thrown for three solid hours -- but, yeah, that's the leather you should be worried about. [ laughter and applause ] "am i nothing?" [ light laughter ] yup, peta is mad at beyonce for her leather costume, but even cows are

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: drunk jimmy stewart. [ as brokaw ] "jimmy fallon, so good to see you here in london him, and then he goes, i'm talking to him, he goes -- [ as brokaw ] "good to see you. bruce, bruce?" >> oh, no. >> jimmy: and i go oh, no, no, no. so bruce comes over, and -- and he goes -- i go, hey, nice to meet you. i go, hey, bruce. he goes, "how's it going, man?" and i go -- [ laughter ] >> you're very surprised. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. he was surprised to see me. he was surprised to see me. and so i go, "very nice -- you doing the olympics?" he goes, "no, i'm heading back to l.a. we're gonna -- catching a plane right now." oh, okay. well, have a good flight. so he leaves, and i go, phew, that was just awkward. and i say good-bye to tom, he goes -- [ as brokaw ] "take care, jimmy." [ laughter ] and then i run, i go to the commissary and i go, "phew, thank god that got away." he was actually a nice guy, like, no confrontation. i get my coffee, who walks back in the commissary, but bruce jenner. and he gets an apple and a banana. >> he fashions a javelin out of them. [ la

but jimmy fallon happening right now! jimmy! ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you! welcome, everybody. thank you so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." today, pope benedict surprised everyone and announced that he is stepping down at the end of the month. or as god put it, "well, at least he gave me two weeks notice." [ laughter ] yep, pope benedict is resigning. and you know what that means. hillary in 2013? we can make it work, people. the pope said he plans to enjoy his privacy and quietly embrace his golden years. just kidding. he's going on "dancing with the stars." [ laughter ] there's actually been an outpouring of support from the pope's followers on twitter. but the most surprising thing was the twitte

. >> jimmy: what?then, the last one. of course, we have singing justin bieber doll. [ cheers ] >> what does it sing? ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, i love it. yeah, it's my favorite doll. [ cheers ] that's the money ball. this one's worth two points. >> all right. >> jimmy: that's the last one, right there. >> this is still going. >> jimmy: yeah, i know. the batteries, they last a long time, man. no, you do that one last. let's go with tim hortons first. >> batteries last a long time. >> jimmy: yeah, all right. >> get one of these. >> jimmy: yeah, you got -- no, not that one yet. yeah, the first one is tim hortons. that was the money ball. that's two points. [ light laughter ] sorry, man. all right. you want to go first? ♪ >> i'm feeling it. >> jimmy: you feeling it? [ cheers ] ♪ [ audience ohs ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that went in! >> i don't think it went in. >> jimmy: can we look at the videotape? >> i don't think it went in. >> jimmy: but, look. yeah, right there, it went in! [ cheers and applaus

>> jimmy: uh-huh. >> does it work? >> jimmy: yeah. you wanna do it?ght, and blow it into the dream catcher. it's gonna come true. >> awesome. >> jimmy: very good. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] tavi gevinson right there. read rookiemag.com every month. it is so fun. tommy mottola joins us after the break. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] the machines are on the move. they're curious. because they've heard that there are new machines -- brilliant ones -- and they're coming to see for themselves. machines with the technology, the scale and the ability to communicate to make the world work better. and now all the machines want in. ♪ pretty sweet, huh? cute. but don't you have any apps on your phone that can make your life easier? who do you think i am, quicken loans? at quicken loans, we'll provide you with myql mobile. this amazingly useful app allows you to take pictures of your mortgage documents using an iphone or android smart phone... so you can easily send them to us. one more way quicken loans is engineered to a

i'm obsessed with the commercial. >> jimmy: because you hate jimmy johnson. >> i hate him, yeah. >> jimmyes the cake. an announcer comes on and says, "if you act now within the next five minutes and buy these extenze pills, you'll be invited to a special extenze dinner where you'll get to meet jimmy johnson. and i thought to myself, okay. could there be a more embarrassing place on the planet earth to run into another human being -- [ laughter ] -- than at the extenze jimmy johnson small penis dinner. [ laughter ] could you imagine? [ cheers and applause ] could you imagine. when you're getting ready, what do you tell your friends? what do you tell your wife? where are you going? "oh, there's this thing at the holiday inn express." [ laughter ] because if you're at that party -- if you're at that party, you're already immediately four levels of loser. [ laughter ] okay, and here they are. i'm obsessed with this. >> jimmy: i just love it. >> if you're seen at that party, we already know these four things about you. and they're all awful. one is, of course, you have a small penis. unfortuna

>> jimmy: a mig? >> a mig? a mag. >> jimmy: yeah. >> a pam. >> jimmy: a pan? >> a pan? a pan?that's who it is. >> jimmy: yeah, it's a pam. [ applause ] >> but it was beautiful. no, i'm glad -- you know, every time i come on your show, i'm always exposed to, like, great -- >> jimmy: great new words? >> -- great new people who are really working on new things i've never, you know -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> so eye-opening. >> jimmy: so fun. well, we love having you on here. how is everything over in l.a.? how's it going? >> oh, everything's great. in fact, i had something happen to me that i couldn't wait to tell you about. and i thought right when it happened, i thought, "i gotta -- i gotta tell jimmy." it's the ultimate l.a. story, probably the greatest thing that's ever happened to me in los angeles, and i'll share it with you. i went out to dinner with a young actor named b.j. novak, who you might know from "the office." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very talented. >> we were working on a movie together, and we play brothers. and i thought before we go to make the movie we sho

jimmy: it was 2-1. won making an eggplant parmesan despite the fact that you did not use any parmesan. >> is that true? >> jimmy: that is true. >> you went and checked after the results came in? >> jimmy: you told me what the ingredients were. >> now we're here for the burger death match. i'm going to show you how to make the perfect burger. not the fanciest burger. the perfect burger. >> jimmy: this is a death match between me and my heart, not necessarily the two of us here. we have some meat here. you want to participate? >> okay. >> jimmy: what is the fat percentage? >> this is 80/20. if it's too lean, it's too dry and has no flavor. so basically you don't want to overwork the meat. you want to press down with your palms. check it out. hi. >> hi. >> jimmy: i have a feeling lifa is overworking the meat right now. [ laughter ] >> all right, here's a trick. when you cook a burger on a griddle and it plumps up and people press it down with the spatula. to get it back to the shape and the juices fly out.

♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thank you all. yeah. jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching.nk you for joining me. [ cheers and applause ] for a lot of people, the end of a three-day weekend. it's president's day today. today, mitt romney spent the day quietly staring out of one of 1,200 windows in his home. a tear streaming down his eye. hey, here's a -- here's a fun presidential fact. did you know our 12th president, zachary taylor was a cast member on the show "home improvement." think about it, it's kind of true. president obama celebrated by playing golf with tiger woods. obama took a three-day golf vacation to florida, and the first lady took the daughters to colorado to ski. sure, honey, go have a guys' weekend with tiger woods. stop by the hooter's and have some wings. [ cheers and applause ] i tell you one thing -- bill clinton wouldn't have gotten that at all. most kids had the day off from school today. i wonder if they know why -- how much do kids really know about president's day. i guess they know the cherry tree, the top hat, and the beard, maybe wooden teeth.

do you ever feel that way, jimmy? >> jimmy: i wouldn't know.y long time. >> you had an imaginary girlfriend. >> jimmy: it occurred to me, i have some friends who are very bright who didn't even get into notre dame. this numb skull somehow graduated in three and a half years. he doesn't know what the difference between a man and a woman are online. >> you know what, we listened to the voicemails. we played them on the show. and honestly, it sounded like a young woman to me. and now they're saying this ronaiah tuiasosopo -- i had to work very hard to learn how to say that. that it was actually his voice that had been somehow altered. >> jimmy: not according to dr. phil. and i don't believe that either. >> he said it was actually a girl's voice? >> jimmy: dr. phil called in the police to investigate it. and apparently there is like a one in ten billion chance that it's actually his voice. it didn't sound anything like him. >> right. >> jimmy: now that's another great interview. did you try get an interview with tuiasosopo? >> yes, i did try to get

and she said i'm jimmy kimmel's mother. >> jimmy: that sounds about right.e is not jewish, i don't know why she would say that. >> i love your mother. that is a great mother to have if you are a comedian, actor, whatever. it is the best. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess so. jess. back to this johnny carson thing. was any one on more than you? that's a lot. >> no, bob hope was on more than i was. >> jimmy: johnny never wanted him on the show. he would walk on the show. force himself on johnny. you were the most wanted guest probably? >> i was more or less wanted, yes. >> jimmy: you spent more time with johnny than probably some of his wives did, i think. >> i did. but you know -- the, i started with him, really, in new york and, in the '60s. i was in my early 20s. let me give you bottom line. i was bumped off the show, four times in a row. actually five times. so that means that every day i went from, never having been on the show, i went to the tonight show in new york with my agent, irvin arthur. they said you'll get on. they announced me. they bumped me to the next

>> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: okay, very good. how about the lady -- i happen to know that's a burberry purse. thank you. [ laughter ] hi, what's your name? >> amy. >> jimmy: amy? would you like to kiss guillermo? >> who wouldn't want to kiss guillermo? >> jimmy: all right, jump up there in efron of the glass. where are you from, amy? >> cincinnati, ohio. >> jimmy: have you ever kissed a foreigner before? [ laughter ] >> i'm not gonna say. >> jimmy: all right. just jump up there. guillermo, watch those hands. do you think your wife will be upset about this? >> no, she doesn't care. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. all right. three, two, one -- and wow. [ cheers and applause ] that's nice. so romantic, and just in time for valentine's day. let's get a guy up there real quick to see how it goes. let's get somebody -- hey. there we go. what's your name? >> my name's will. >> jimmy: will, step right up to the booth. come on, will. will, you could be related to guillermo, for all we know. you have the same haircut. all right, here we

>> jimmy: yes.teries. >> they're like tom cruise is coming back to talk to you. i become so nervous that he's walking toward me. i take microphone and i don't realize that it is not plugged into the camera. and i literally almost slice his face in half with the wire from the microphone as i whip it and it goes over my head. i'm like, we're a professional operation. >> jimmy: do you know what would happen if you sliced his face in half? he would have put them back together, he would have continued no problem. probably would have done it again. he's an america hero. >> he's an american hero and an elegant gentleman. >> jimmy: i will see you bright and early in the middle of the night on monday morning. >> i'm so sorry. >> jimmy: my pleasure to be there. >> will you ever forgive me for waking you up? >> dicky: yimy talks oscars at the barbershop. >> none of you saw that? >> you know we're not going to see no movie called "the master." >> dicky: andy sam berg. >> jimmy: game of thrones return this is ma

>> man, jimmy. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy, they going to eat us up on that one now. >> jimmy: all [ laughter ] we'll chop it up. we'll chop this up. you got -- you got the radio show, you got the talk show, "steve harvey," which is a smash hit. you have "family feud." [ cheers and applause ] which is the best it's been since the '90s some report. so what are your days like? is it just jam-packed with work? >> wake up at 4:15. i'm on the air at 5:00. on the radio show from 5:00 to 9:00. i get off at 9:00. i go to over to the gym right next door, to the studio, workout for 45 minutes, take a shower, sit down and do the production meeting for an hour and a half. get through with that, sit down. they throw some makeup on my head. i walk out, i tape the first show at 12:00, get through, have another production meeting for the second show. sit down and eat lunch for an hour, go back out on stage at 5:00. i'm done at 7:30. i go home. i'm in bed by 8:30. wake up, do it all over again. i do that from september to april. then, from april to august, i go back to atlanta to my home. i tape "f

>> jimmy: >> jimmy: kelly ripa! "live!s monday at 9am on abc. we'll be right back with inventor elon musk. [ cheers and applause ] [ doorbell rings ] donuts? ♪ you're cute. [ door closes ] [ female announcer ] new special k protein cereal helps keep you fuller longer. willpower. what will you gain when you lose? [ traffic sounds ] ♪ help satisfy your hunger longer with the special k protein line. willpower. what will you gain when you lose? they're not boots, they're my cats. [ meows ] [ chuckles nervously ] [ meows ] [ male announcer ] temptations treats. once you shake 'em, you can't shake 'em. it's healthier, ammonia-free. and with aloe, vitamin e, and coconut oil, my hair looks healthier than before i colored. i switched. you should too, to natural instincts. that owns that aquarium store. he's not gonna sell you some labradoodle, he's gonna sell you tropical fish! he's got salt water tanks, fresh water tanks, brackish tanks, tanks you can't even fathom. that fish?! no you're not ready for that fish. precision aquatic

>> jimmy: does your mom drive? >> yes. >> jimmy: is she 65? >> um, maybe. >> jimmy: she'll be delighted to hear that. how old do you have to be to drive a car? >> 58. >> jimmy: what about 48? is that old enough, do you think? what about 38? do you think it's old enough to drive? >> what about 68? >> jimmy: 68 is good, too. what about 78? >> what about 88? >> jimmy: 88 is good. but then there's always 98. >> and then tendi-8. >> jimmy: that might be too old to drive. what would you do if you had a million dollars? >> i would buy a flat screen tv. >> jimmy: that's it? >> and a mansion. >> i would buy like a fun house, the bouncy houses, all those fun things in one house. >> jimmy: you'd buy a bouncy house? would you live in it? >> yeah. and there would be jell-o inside. >> jimmy: what would you do if you had a million dollars cash? >> donate to charity and donate the rest to people who don't have money or clothes? >> jimmy: so half to charity. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and half to people who don't have money and clothes. >> well, i'd save a little bit

but "jimmy fallon" is happening right now. jimmy!plause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about. that's the fun, that's the love, i feel the love right there. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: hey, guys. it's going to be a fun show tonight. we're going to have a good time. here's what people are talking about. you guys, it was just announced that president obama will speak at ohio state's graduation in may. which should be great. i mean, the president has a lot in common with those students. he's currently in his fifth year and swamped in debt. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] perfect. have you heard about this? officials in

but "jimmy fallon" right now. jimmy!plause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. welcome. that's a great new york city crowd, right there. welcome, everybody, to "late night with jimmy fallon." oh, my gosh. what a show we have tonight. have a great show. fun one tonight. hey, guys. today was valentine's day. and if you just found that out, that's why you're in trouble. [ laughter ] speaking of valentine's day, though, ikea -- did you hear about this? they are promising to give couples a free crib if they have a baby exactly nine months after valentine's day. [ light laughter ] yeah. getting a free crib is both a great way to save money and the worst "how you were born" story. [ light laughter ] "my parents wanted this crib." did you guys he

but jimmy fallon happening right now. jimmy!d applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much. that's a great new york city crowd right there. thank you guys so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." here is -- [ cheers and applause ] going to have a fun show tonight. oh, thanks. well, let's get to some of the news stories. here's what people are talking about. with pope benedict retiring in two weeks, more than 100 cardinals will sequester themselves in the sistine chapel to choose the next pope. now, here's what they do. they send out white smoke if they have chosen somebody, black smoke if they haven't chosen somebody. and a text message when they find out it's 2013. [ laughter ] that's what they ar

>> jimmy: yes! cut the mustard. cut the mustard. >> jimmy: yes! [ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that means you lost. it means you lost. you were stuck with the buzzer! well, if molly wasn't talking while i was explaining the rules -- [ laughter ] no, no, no. molly, when you're stuck with the buzzer, that means -- and it goes off. >> then we lose the round. >> oh! >> jimmy: that's only one round you lost. >> only one round. >> we can come back from this. >> we're playing 12 rounds, right? [ laughter ] we're going all the way. >> jimmy: yeah, here we go. >> here we go. >> jimmy: two. if you lose two, you're out. >> okay. >> jimmy: that's what we're doing. ready? cut the tomatoes. >> do i have to push -- [ laughter ] start? >> jimmy: yes. >> okay. >> here we go. ready? >> yeah. >> okay, that show. it was on hbo. it's when you get buried and you're -- how many feet -- yeah -- [ buzzer ] >> six feet under. >> no, no -- >> jimmy: he didn't say anything. >> did i say something wrong? >> jimmy: no, you

>> jimmy: really? they will still deliver packages on saturday, just not regular mail, which means we'll only get the bed, bath & beyond coupon packet on monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, and fridays now. a major announcement from the makers of monopoly today. they're retiring their least popular game piece, the iron. remember the little iron? it's gone. it will not be a part of the game from now on. they have to keep updating these poor games to keep them fresh. candy land just changed its name to fresh organic vegetable land. it let people in 120 countries vote through facebook. they voted on which game piece would be retired. the choice were diamond ring, a little robot, helicopter, guitar, and the winner, which was a cat. this goes to show you if you let the internet decide, it will always choose cats. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you. i hope this doesn't cause a problem with the little scottie dog. i can't have animals chasing each other on my board. maybe monopoly should concent

mccarthy, i've always been in love with you. >> jimmy: it's me, jimmy. >> don't ruin the moment. >> jimmynes shows off his moves. >> the night before the game, i'll be there practicing the whole time. you know what i'm saying? >> dicky: jimmy and ewan mcgregor talk sports. and still ahead, dr. phil mcgraw. portions of jimmy kimmel this week are brought to you by teleflora. impress your lady with a teleflora bouquet. fortunately, you've got listerine®. unlike brushing which misses 75% of your mouth, listerine® cleans virtually your entire mouth. so what are you waiting for? it's time to take your mouth to a whole new level of health. listerine®... power to your mouth™. and take the listerine® 21 day challenge. feel the difference, or your money back. women hate dandruff. but now, sad man, you're saved by an anti-dandruff shampoo. clear men with mint, ginseng and tea tree. clear men feeds your scalp and stops dandruff at the source. ♪ ahh, look at him now. admire his scalp. he's heroic. clear men. stop dandruff at the source, perfect man. and under 550 calories each. you have to taste it to

>> on jimmy kimmel?r on one of your 30 shows you can reveal it on. >> we're trying to keep some details -- i don't know if we're going to tell anyone. >> jimmy: you don't know if you're going to tell anyone at all? >> besides family. >> jimmy: and the baby. you should tell the baby what it is. will the baby get paid? >> our baby is not really on tv. it's not going to be on our show. >> jimmy: never? the baby is never going to be on the show? >> no, i don't think so. >> jimmy: what if the baby feels bad about being the only one left out? >> when the baby is old enough and he or she decides that's what they want to do, that will be a decision. but, i mean, it's hard because i love seeing mason and penelope on tv. mason is i think the highlight of our show, so it's a tough decision. but i think from the start, that's a personal choice that kanye and i have made. i kn it all the time. some seasons the kids are on, sometimes they're not. so from the start we're going to try to keep it as private as possible.

>> a lot of singing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> a lot of talking to singers. >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah. >> jimmy:that? can you like -- [ singing off key ] >> kind of, a little bit. i do in "smash," in the second season, a little bit. they gave me a classical piece. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, mm-hmm. >> jimmy: no way. that's exciting and fun. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, you get to sing, you're on with great people. anjelica is on the show. we love anjelica huston. >> yeah. >> jimmy: she's a legend. bernadette peters. >> yes. >> jimmy: she's super fun, too. >> i mean, what has she done? >> jimmy: what has she done? exactly, right? but, you are actually doing a cool thing. actually, i see -- you're going to see this for the first time. i have your cd. >> no, i haven't even seen it yet! >> jimmy: i know. it's coming out in march, and it's a mix of covers and originals. ready? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: here it is. [ drum roll ] [ gasps ] that's your cd, right there. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> can i touch it? it's real. [ applause ] >> jimmy: what do you think? >> oh, my gosh. yeah, it'll do. it will d

welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: hey, guys.t's going to be a fun show tonight. we're going to have a good time. here's what people are talking about. you guys, it was just announced that president obama will speak at ohio state's graduation in may. which should be great. i mean, the president has a lot in common with those students. he's currently in his fifth year and swamped in debt. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] perfect. have you heard about this? officials in pakistan are complaining about the movie "zero dark thirty" contains a lot of errors about the country. they were like. [ in pakistani accent ] the movie makes pakistan out to be a hellish wasteland of corruption and intolerance, but in real life it is way worse than that. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it's like watching a pixar movie when i saw that. i was waiting for randy newman to play a song at the end, i swear. [ laughter ] check this out, you guys. after the success of his book "killing lincoln," bill o'reilly is coming out with a new book called "

and now, ready or not -- here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you.i there, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for -- braving modern temperatures to be here tonight. it was 62 degrees and sunny in l.a. today where most of the country got hit by a coors light commercial. some areas got 3 feet of snow. for some people that meant power outages and cancelled flights and for others new instagram photos. snow has replaced lunch this week. while a lot of people are suffering no one has it worst than our nation's weather reporters. when the weather is at its worst these brave and dumb men and women fly into it. their networks make them go into it, evidently. it is not easy to be a weatherman. i would like to salute those who risk their extremities just so we can see what snow looks like from the comfort of our homes. >> it's difficult to walk. >> right now we have about 5 inches. >> it's a dense snow. >> it's trench -- treacherous. >> you okay there, john? >> the snow is stinging you in the face. >> the snow is an icy mix. it hurts. >> horizontal

jimmy, what are you wearing today? >> jimmy: you dent waon't want that.eally. >> jimmy: would you know what they're wearing if they told you what they're wearing? >> i would go, yeah, it's nice. >> jimmy: here is one of the moves, guillermo knows, problem, a lot of things you are talking to somebody, you see a better star come up from behind them and then you have to get rid of that star so that, like jack nicholson will come to you. that's the real key. that's where the magic, where ryan seacrest -- >> i need to learn. i need to call ryan. i need to learn how to usher you out when i dent want yon't want. >> jimmy: ryan would be helpful. or maybe not. maybe keeps his secrets to himself. when you get bored. i have got to stretch. push them down the line. to entertainment tonight. >> saying thank you very much. good luck today. next. >> jimmy: you could do that they way too. >> that way too. >> jimmy: either way. >> expecting me to mess up. >> jimmy: will you have prune juice for me when i show up. >> whatever you want. >> jimmy: michael strahan, everybody.

>> jimmy: no. >> does it? >> jimmy: no. >> does it? >> jimmy: no. >> does it?on. [ audience groans ] how do i know this? [ scattered cheers ] because i received an e-mail from a friend of mine in england with a web link in it, and a message that just read, "click on this and call me back immediately." [ laughter ] and i clicked on it, and i embarked upon the strangest 45 minutes of my life. page after page, story after story of jon stewart and stephen colbert having sex with me. [ cheers and applause ] and they were beautifully written stories. i don't want you to get the wrong idea. they were quite narratively, beautifully intricately set up. >> jimmy: of course they are. >> it wasn't just sex, it was romance. "soft did fall the snow outside the ski lodge -- [ laughter ] inching up upon the ledge. lit from within by the roaring fire. around the roaring fire did sit jon stewart and stephen colbert -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> toasting marshmallows to enjoy later." >> jimmy: that's about enough. >> right. in walked -- in walked the butler, oh, who could tha

but jimmy fallon's happening now. jimmy!d applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. thank you so much. everybody, welcome. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." thank you so much for being here. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] going to be a fun show tonight. going to be fun. here's what people are talking about. we have a three day weekend coming up, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] and good news. good news, i checked the weather report, and it's going to be sunny with a chance of meteors from space. [ laughter ] everybody is talking about this 11-ton meteor that crashed into central russia this morning. it sent shock waves across six cities and caused a lot of da

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't -- no. >> it's over. >> jimmy: yeah.at you try to get out there. the biggest story of 2013 has to be your hairstyle. >> yeah. >> jimmy: everyone -- [ cheers and applause ] did you know that this was gonna be that big of news? >> no, no. i tell you, i thought that maybe a story, but i didn't think that we would still be talking about it. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it is -- it looks gorgeous. >> you like my bangs? >> jimmy: it looks beautiful. absolutely, i love your bangs. [ cheers and applause ] picture perfect. it looks fantastic. you also debuted @flotus on twitter. you're on twitter now. your twitter handle. >> i'm a tweeter. >> jimmy: yes, you are tweeter now, @flotus. >> yeah. >> jimmy: why -- why -- why twitter? >> i started tweeting on the campaign trail and now that that's over, i just switched over. it's a great way to connect and send messages out. i mean, we are doing some tweeting, you and me. >> jimmy: i know exactly what -- [ talking over each other ] yeah, because i wanted to surprise everyone with the m