and now, not only that, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy.'m the host short. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i don't mean to silence you but we have a lot to get to. first i have an important medical announcement for those of you who wear skinny jeans. doctors are warning that skinny jeans are potentially hazardous to your health. that's right, score another win for yoga pants. according to a case study, if you spend a lot of time in a squatting position wearing skinny jeans, can lead to serious nerve damage in your lower legs. all right. so don't spend a lot of time in a squatting position. who spends a lot of time in a squatting position? maybe if you're a catch over a major league baseball team? they get a uniform to wear, they're not in skinny jeans. the report cites the story of a 35-year-old woman in skinny jeans who wound up lying motionless on the pavement, unable to get up, after helping a relative move. see, to see the lesson there is, don't help a relative move. right? here's the thing, we're sending a mixe

>> jimmy: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel ve"! tonight -- jada pinkett-smith. from "terminator genesis," jai courtney. "this week in unnecessary censorship." and music from nate ruess. with cleto and the cletones. and now, moving on, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. i'm very glad you did. it would be embarrassing if you hadn't. let's jump right into it. as we have a lot to get to. we had a major decision from the supreme court today. do you guys obamacare about that or not? [ cheers and applause ] the supreme court ruled in a 6-3 decision to preserve the affordable care act, more commonly known as obamacare, which means we can do anything we want. we could drink, we could smoke, we could jump mini bikes off of bridges, we could play chainsaw tag if we want to. we get hurt? it's not our problem, it's america a esproblem, together. [ cheers and applause ] obama was very happy, he triumphantlically claired that the affordable care act is here to st

laughter ] >> jimmy: whew. >> jimmy: he's european.right. >> steve: didn't count. this doesn't count. >> jimmy: he's european. that's right. here's a pretty scary statistic here. according to a new investigation, 95% of undercover tsa agents were able to sneak through airport security with fake bombs and weapons without being detected. 95%. this is real. and because of this, the tsa chief melvin caroway was forced to resign. caroway himself released a a statement regarding the security breach saying, quote "i don't know what we're doing wrong. we nonchalantly shine a tiny flashlight on people's i.d.s, have them put their shoes in plastic bins, and then ask them put their laptops in separate plastic bins for no reason. [ laughter ] we proceed to have them stand in a weird tube and put their heads in a diamond shape above their heads so we can laugh at their nude bodies. [ laughter ] then, as if it's not enough, we angrily yell at them to keep the line moving once their bags come out the other side. [ laughter ] we may have missed 95% of

>> jimmy: who believes that? >> no one, jimmy!ghter ] >> jimmy: nigel, what else do you have for us? >> mmm-hmm, yes, everyone is speculating over what the baby's first words will be. some believe it will be "mama," while others believe it will be "choco-taco." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the second royal baby's first words will not be "choco-taco." >> they will if she is fed only choco-tacos. >> jimmy: all right, whatever. now, she's fourth in line to the british throne, is that right? >> mm-hmm, yes, that's correct, jimmy. in fact, here is an artist's rendering of what she might look like if she becomes queen. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you make that, nigel? >> yes i did, jimmy. [ laughter ] mm-hmm, yes, there we go. mm-hmm, jolly good, there we are, mm-hmm. yes, atta boy, mmm-hmm, yes. okay. [ laughter ] mm-hmm, yes. >> jimmy: are you still there, nigel? >> mm-hmm, yes, very good, yes, there we go, there we go, mm-hmm, yes. [ laughter ] yes, there we are, atta boy, mm-hmm, atta boy, mm-hmm, very good. >> jimmy: why do you keep sayin

>> jimmy: j.t.t be one of the weirdest things we've ever done on the show. but, that's tomorrow night. >> steve: yeah, that's tomorrow. >> jimmy: yeah, you guys don't have to put up with it. but, later this week, colin farrell and vince vaughn will be dropping in. [ cheers and applause ] you don't want to miss that. but first he is one of the funniest guys we know from the acclaimed new series, "the comedians." billy crystal is here, tonight! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah! come on! >> jimmy: have you seen that show? it's great. >> steve: he's a funny man. >> jimmy: he's a funny, funny man. plus, just yesterday he announced his candidacy for the 2016 election, republican presidential candidate jeb bush is stopping by. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and we have great, great music. i'm in love with this singer. she's fantastic. courtney barnett is here! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at the front. woah. >> steve: woah. >> jimmy: whoo! >> steve: whoo fan

it's jimmy. ♪ jimmy, jimmy, jimmy ♪ you never know what you're going to get ♪ ♪ >> have you been workini'd like to thank viola davis, adam scott, and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next but first, this is called "the album about nothing." here with the song "the girls on drugs," wale! [cheers and applause] ♪ >> do you know what type of women i've been dealin' with? ♪ clap ♪ clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap ♪ ♪ do you know what type of women i been dealin' with ♪ do you know what type woman i been dealin' with ♪ ♪ get a grip ♪ ♪ give me a real woman ♪ girls on drugs ♪ ♪ ♪ and she don't get ♪ she the first spot of handful ♪ ♪ ♪ oh, my god ♪ i'm on a -- ♪ politicians ♪ my position ♪ hard to feel alive when you feelin' dead inside ♪ ♪ let me tell you about the woman that i'm chillin' with ♪ ♪ she told me nobody love her ♪ so she cut her wrist. ♪ ♪ she wanted to get high, she feelin' low ♪ ♪ girl's on drugs ♪ girl's on drugs ♪ whoa ♪ and she don't get no sleep ♪ because she on drugs ♪ and she don't get no slee

i'm not an idiot. >> jimmy: yeah, all right. >> i'm not an idiot, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i knowt, why don't you start it off? and press the button when you're ready. >> and i say it immediately? okay. >> jimmy: yeah. [ beeping ] [ laughter ] >> husband number two. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] sorry ben! i didn't mean it. i didn't mean it. >> jimmy: you would marry fabio? >> yes, right? >> jimmy: he's a good looking dude. yeah. all right, here we go. [ beeping ] robot rastafarian. [ laughter and applause ] >> i just, i didn't -- >> jimmy: yeah. i was like, i didn't know what it was. i'm like, what is that? >> all right, ready? [ beeping ] feeling really good about this. oh. >> jimmy: hey. [ laughter ] >> husband number three! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: those are some bad high school photos. that mustache. that took me a year to grow that mustache. >> that is -- i know exactly how soft and baby fine that is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a wispy mustache. that's awful. that's a high school photo. why would i grow a mustache? >> thank god you did. >> jimmy: oh my goodness. >> w

>> jimmy: yeah. >> no, no, no. big deal! >> jimmy: yeah.mmy: oh, you did. >> it's quite a dance. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> quite a dance. and he was so apologetic and cautious. and i thought what -- i'm not naked, right? >> jimmy: no, but then you saw -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: "magic mike xxl." yeah. >> you'll have to see the dance. >> jimmy: okay. well, we're going to show a a clip. it's not that. >> the dance? >> jimmy: i don't think we can air that. i don't think we can. so this is "magic mike xxl" with fully clothed people. that's what we're showing in this scene, i think. yeah. that's the only one we're allowed to show. sorry, yeah. we have a clip. let's take a look at amber heard and channing tatum not dancing in "magic mike xxl." take a look. >> i thought you were supposed to be in new york, by the way. >> oh, wait. is that where we are? wow. >> hmmm? >> i changed my mind. >> so does that mean you are going to be on the pole or you're not going to be on the pole? because i mean -- on the main stage coming up for you boys. get you

and now, if you believe it, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice.hank you. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. very nice. i do appreciate it. i know a lot of you are on vacation. did you get a chance to watch the game last night in the basketball game? on abc last night the golden state warriors beat the cleveland cavaliers to win their first nba for 40 years. things were calm in oakland, no one did anything crazy, which was good. the governor of california has asked us not to set our towns on fire because of the drought and we listened to him. andre iguodala of the warriors was named the finals mvp which is great news for everyone except gate who has to engrave that name on a trophy. it was such an exciting series. did you know this was the most-watched finals since michael jordan's last run with the bulls in 1998? after the game, the mood in the warrio warriors' locker room was festive. here's leandro barbosa, who took time out from celebrating to chat with reporters. >> i said months ago.

>> jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. getting weird now.morrow night between the cleveland cavaliers and golden state warriors. which team you are rooting for? >> i'm going to root for the cavaliers. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. lebron. lebron. all right. now there are different types of slam dunks. there is the reverse slam, there's the wind mill, there's the 360. if you can invent your own slam dunk, what would it be called? >> wow. a lot of pressure. a lot of pressure. >> jimmy: actually zero pressure. [ laughter ] yeah. no pressure. you can invent anything you want. never been talked about before. any type of dunk. you name it, it is called the -- >> uh. >> jimmy: oh, he did the -- >> triple lindy. can we do that? >> jimmy: yeah, you can. it's confusing, but -- >> triple lindy. >> jimmy: the triple lindy. isn't that, like, a skating move? >> i think it's from that movie with rodney dangerfield. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. i like that. the diving. i like the triple lindy. yeah. "back to school"? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. a

thank you buddy. >> jimmy: regis philbin, everybody. >> regis: sure, jimmy, sure. [ laughter ] >> jimmyed. all right, here we go. ♪ thank you, sommeliers, for assuming that i am listening to anything you say. blah blah, grapes. blah blah, tannins. whatever. now pour the red joy juice and scoot back down to your bottle dungeon. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thank you, burritos, for being tacos that have been tucked into bed. there you go, everybody. that's my thank you notes. we'll be back with vince vaughn. thank you, regis! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [people talking] e occupato questo posto? [kids talking] one hundred forty-four questions per day. bryce canyon is 29 minutes from your location. ♪ audible safety beeping audible safety beeping the nissan rogue, with safety shield technologies. the only thing left to fear is you imagination. nissan. innovation that excites. you know what that means.he fastest processors! the noobs get wrecked. (haha) yeah, or like faster data analytics... don't leave me hanging. upgrade to a faster pc with intel inside. ♪ hq wants says take out that machi

and guillermo -- hi. >> jimmy: oh. >> look at you. >> jimmy: wow, look at this. >> so nice. >> jimmy:tion. >> so nice, right. >> jimmy: very nice. >> so here's the thing. all of these little cups. they have a little gold leaf. this is very beautiful. a super traditional moroccan situation. when we pour -- when we pour we go like this. you lift it real high. >> jimmy: why? >> because it cools a little bit and brings the flavor in the tea. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> so the recipe -- my dad -- there are different recipes. my dad used to do like gunpowder earl grey tea, or you can do black tea. a ton of sugar and a giant handful of fresh mint. and then you can go real high and down. >> jimmy: is mint something that grows in morocco all over the place? >> i'm going to say yes. >> jimmy: okay, all right. what do we do? >> then we drink it. >> jimmy: i like that. i like a tradition like this. >> traditionally, they actually pour it back in the teapot a couple of times to get the flavor going and it cools it but we'll do just one time. >> jimmy: okay, just once. oh, you say cheers? >> no. >> jimm

this is my best of jimmy, best of abby on jimmy. >> jimmy: you put out a box set?re? >> it's just one. it's a loose dvd. >> jimmy: if only we had a commercial for this, it would have helped us sell the product. >> for all the laughs, don't miss what entertainment weekly calls the funniest dvd of the year. the best of abby on jimmy. there's volume one, spinning abby, which chronicles abby spinning in a chair. there's volume two, the mustache years. doesn't miss a single moment of abby with a mustache. and you'll be laughing through volume three, tgi abby. watch as she plays her most memorable role yet, waitress. you'll get sick! you'll punch a man in the face! and then when you've watched all volumes you can get the dvd everybody's been waiting for. abby walks and waves. get two and a half minutes for three easy payments of $9.99. available at walgreens. >> jimmy: abby elliott! bravo's "odd mom out" airs mondays at 10:00pm on bravo. and we shall return with music from fetty wap. ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your

>> hello, this is jimmy kimmel, i have hemorrhoids. >> jimmy: no!ease help me with my hemorrhoids. >> jimmy: do not, no! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] hemorrhoid. hemorrhoid. hemorrhoid. my hemorrhoid. >> jimmy: all right. take that. i think i might get a blackberry. we have to take a break. when we come back, i've got the story behind what is maybe the best bucket list item to ever have been crossed off a bucket list. it is really good so stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by schick hydro. with a great shave, epic things happen. epicbarbershop.com. ...where you least expect it. schick hydro. now with shave oils, the hydrating gel works with skin guards to reduce friction, stroke after stroke. our best shave for your skin. schick hydro. free your skin. sure, when pigs fly. ♪ take it. good boy! does your makeup remover every kiss-proof,ff? cry-proof, stay-proof look? neutrogena® makeup remover does. it erases 99% of your most stubborn makeup with one towelet

that is gordon trump. >> jimmy, jimmy, jimmy! >> jimmy: yes? >> you're frozen. >> jimmy: okay.brother of donald trump. [ cheers and applause ] one more thing, it's thursday night, which means we bleep and blur the big tv moments of week. it is time for "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> it's be hard to get to this point -- i've been on the [ bleep ] of this four times. >> do you find lebron's [ bleep ] attractive? >> steve kerr. i'm not going to allow you to [ bleep ] me, sir. >> we [ bleep ] 2 trillion [ bleep ] in iraq. 2 trillion. >> the pride parade in west hollywood is colorful. you've got the aptly named dudes with [ bleep ]. >> it is that time of year when there are days when it's too hot to [ bleep ]. >> no more excuses, [ bleep ] till the cows come home. >> [ bleep ] is probably not a good thing. we don't [ bleep ]. the president [ bleep ] sometimes. >> i'm chris matthews in washington. you want to [ bleep ]? >> if a [ bleep ] is too big to [ bleep ] it's too big to exist. >> andre iguodala, he was a [ bleep ], [ bleep ] no question, last

>> jimmy: i'm sorry.t aliens invade this planet called earth? >> jimmy: no! >> steve: mike takes off his human mask. >> because i am an alien. in fact, magic mike is taking the -- is the king of aliens. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and scene! ♪ was that an evil laugh? >> oh, god. >> jimmy: all right. let's do one more. this one was sent in by sadie from virginia. for this one, let's switch it up. i'll play magic mike and you'll play the role of magic bird. [ laughter ] higgins, you want to set the scene on this one? >> steve: magic mike sees magic bird. >> jimmy: thank you. thank you, higgins. ♪ hey, magic bird. what's wrong? [ laughter ] >> i don't like being a magic bird. it makes me angry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'll calm you down, magic bird. here. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] i'll blow on your forehead. [ cheers ] >> steve: magic mike blows on magic bird's forehead. forehead. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's not helping to calm me down. [ laughter ] it's not. it's not helping. >> jimmy:

>> jimmy: why?gs the flavor in the tea. >> jimmy: okay. >> so the recipe -- my dad -- there are different recipes. my dad did gun powder earl gray tea or you can do black tea. a ton of sugar and a giant handful of fresh mint. and then you can go real high and down. >> jimmy: is mint something that grows in morocco all over the place? >> i'm going to say yes. >> jimmy: all right. what do we do? >> then we drink it. >> jimmy: i like that. i like a tradition like this. >> traditionally, they actually pour it back in the teapot a couple of times to get the flavor going and it cools it but we'll do just one time. >> jimmy: do you say cheers? >> no. >> jimmy: what do you say? >> nothing. >> jimmy: you can have one if you want. >> never mind. >> it is tasty, good tea. this would be offered to guests at your home. >> always. soar big family, yeah. >> jimmy: that's a good tradition. i didn't know about this. >> glad you liked it. >> jimmy: i did enjoy it. well, this is something your dad taught you. >> yep.

and now,here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ welcome to the show. [ cheers and applause ] i hope everyone who deserved it had a good father's day. kids, children will buy cards and t-shirts and even little trophies that say that my father is the best dad in the world. but the fact of the matter is, simple math tells us the vast majority of these children are lying. i spent a lot of the day yesterday on my phone. a new thing that goes on that i think must be related to technology because i don't remember this happening in the past. now, not only do you wish your father and grandfather, maybe godfather a happy father's day. you have to wish a happy father's day to every father you know. i got father's day text messages yesterday from 47 different people. now, i only have three kids. i only have one dad. and it's nice of them to do, i guess. then i feel bad, like i hadn't texted them earlier. so, like, you too, was meaning to text you, but, well -- you know what it's like being a dad. it is a busy job. but i can't wish every fa

thank you, jimmy kimmel. very welcome, my friend. thank you, hannibal burris. >> jimmy: tonight on the show we have music from wale, adam scott is here, and we'll be right back with viola davis. so stick around. ♪ ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by schick hydro. with a great shave, epic things happen. check them out at "epic-barbershop-dot-com." hydration... ...where you least expect it. schick hydro. now with shave oils, the hydrating gel works with skin guards to reduce friction, stroke after stroke. our best shave for your skin. schick hydro. free your skin. sfx; "all night long" '80s remix ♪ feel it in your heart and feel it in your soul... let the music take control. the delicious taste of new bud light lime lemon-ade-ritas. fiesta forever. ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, from the new movie "the overnight," adam scott is here. that movie is weird and funny. also tonight, a talented man from our nation's capital. his album is called "the album about nothing" wale from the at&t stage.

>> thank you, jimmy.interview may be monitored or recorded for quality assurance purposes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, i know it's being monitored and recorded. this is a tv show. >> para espaÑol, marque cinco. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. no spanish. no spanish, please, thank you. >> i have your name as, jimmy fallon. is this correct? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yes. >> say "yes" or "no." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes! >> i'm sorry, i didn't get that. please say "yes" or "no." >> jimmy: yes! >> i'm sorry. i'm having a little trouble understanding you. let me connect you with a a representative. >> jimmy: you are a a representative. ♪ [ laughter ] alan? am i on real life hold? is that what's happening? alan, will you please stop dancing to your hold music. cause it's not -- >> thank you for waiting. your satisfaction is important to us. hello? hello? >> jimmy: oh, great! alan -- >> your estimated wait time is 48 minutes. >> jimmy: no i don't -- i don't have time for this. please hang up the interview. [ dial

. >> jimmy: yes.razy. and your voice gets deeper each time. >> jimmy: plus, he's one of the funniest comedians out there. this is just a dvd of his movie that everyone should own. "sleepwalk with me." mike birbiglia is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] from "orange is the new black." "trainwreck" he's great in. he's got a beautiful new baby. oh, my gosh. and we've got great music. oh, can i play a little bit? just a tiny little bit please? major lazer is here tonight, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] "lean on," this is major lazer. ♪ blow a kiss fire a gun all we need is somebody to lean on ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: save it. you're gonna want that energy at the end of the show when major lazer comes on. guys, it's wednesday, and that means it's time to count down the hottest songs at the top of the charts right now. this is up there. at number three, we've got "trap queen" by fetty wap. that's a good one. number two, you have "bad blood," taylor swift with kendrick lamar. now holding steady at number one, it'

yes, it is, jimmy.appen to star in it as him. >> jimmy: that's not -- a documentary would be -- >> a documentary is documentation. >> jimmy: oh. >> thus the name documentary. we're documenting this man's life, and i'm starring as him. >> jimmy: and you're a doctor? >> sometimes. >> jimmy: okay. i'm very confused. >> you should be. >> jimmy: we have a clip. maybe will this help sort it out. let's just take a look. >> just run it. >> wilson kipsang, ogla kimaiyo. marathon champions, all. and all from kenya. home to the finest long distance runners in the world. with one exception. espn films presents -- the world's slowest kenyan. >> my name is mzuzu timato. i come from a family of great runners. my father won 12 marathons. my mother won eight. one of them, she was 11 months pregnant. my mother had me as she was crossing the finish line. i came in second. >> timato's long-time coach struggled to make timato the champion he was born to be. >> he did not like to get sweaty. he takes little baby steps. and h

>> guillermo: great, jimmy. >> jimmy: what did you do?nner and that's it. >> jimmy: couple of drinks, dinner. where did you go to dinner? >> guillermo: mexican restaurant. >> jimmy: how unusual for you. is it the same one you go to all the time, casa valley. >> guillermo: you can mention it i can't. >> jimmy: well you didn't. >> guillermo: yeah, casa vega. >> jimmy: because people look at you and touch you and pinch you on the cheeks. >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: do you go home drunk? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: at least that's what you told your wife, right? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: happy holidays again. it is a holy season right now. really is. >>> our first guest is a three-time grammy winner and one time sexiest man alive. you know from his spinning chair on "the voice" and he has a new album with his band maroon 5 called "five." please say hello to adam levine. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you know, it's interesting, the magazines i look at you up close and you are really one of the sexiest men alive. >> stop. >> jimmy:

>> jimmy: why?ittle bit and brings the flavor in the tea. >> jimmy: okay. >> so the recipe -- my dad -- there are different recipes. my dad did gun powder earl gray tea or you can do black tea. a ton of sugar and a giant handful of fresh mint. and then you can go real high and down. >> jimmy: is mint something that grows in morocco all over the place? >> i'm going to say yes. >> jimmy: all right. what do we do? >> then we drink it. >> jimmy: i like that. i like a tradition like this. >> traditionally, they actually pour it back in the teapot a couple of times to get the flavor going and it cools it but we'll do just one time. >> jimmy: do you say cheers? >> no. >> jimmy: what do you say? >> nothing. >> jimmy: you can have one if you want. >> never mind. >> it is tasty, good tea. this would be offered to guests at your home. >> always. soar big family yeah. >> jimmy: that's a good tradition. i didn't know about this. >> glad you liked it. >> jimmy: i did enjoy it. well, this is something your dad tau

>> uh, yes jimmy. >> si jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> jimmy: si.sea demasiado entusiasmado, victor >> oh. >> ah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, here we go. >> jimmy: bien, aqui vamos. put your goggles on. ponga sus anteojos. >> okay, okay. >> bien, bien. >> jimmy: 'cause safety is >> jimmy: porque la seguridad sexy. es atractiva. >> you got it. >> ud. lo consiguio. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yep. >> jimmy: si. [ laughter ] >> okay. >> bien. >> jimmy: you want to go hang out? >> jimmy: ¿ud. quiere ir andan? [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, yeah. >> si. >> jimmy: you want to go hang >> jimmy: ¿ud. quiere ir andan out after the show dressed up despues de que el programa se like this? disfrazo como esto? we'll go to a couple bars. iremos a unos bares de pareja. hi, can we get a couple drinks, ¿hola, podemos conseguir unas please? bebidas de pareja, por favor? [ laughter ] here's how the race will work. aqui esta como la carrera trabajara. we're going to ride these mini vamos a montar estas horse motorcycles through the motocicletas de caballo mini studio

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] great time. we are back from vacation. [ cheers and applause ] did you have a good vacation, guillermo. >> guillermo: yeah, jimmy, great. >> jimmy: did you do anything for vacation. >> guillermo: i took my son to lego land. >> jimmy: we were off last week but very much on this week. i have so many important things to get to already on "the bachelorette" night. i want to start with the former bachelor who's now a bachelor again. chris soules and whitney, his betroeted who last season found love on reality television have called off their engagement. i thought for sure she was going to move to a farm from chicago. the "the bachelorette" is the dating show based on the idea that anyone can seem to be a perspective wife as a long as she is relatively quiet while all of the women around her reveal themselves to be deeply troubled psychopaths. but sometimes -- and by sometimes, i mean just about all the times it doesn't work out and it did not

>> number one, jimmy fallon. >> jimmy: here we go. good cop then. how are you? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: great, thanks for asking. >> don't be nervous, this'll be over really, really quick. >> jimmy: this seems really fun. >> yeah, yeah. >> just gonna have a quick test. >> jimmy: well, i got my head stuck in a fence, and my grandma used mayonnaise to squeeze me out of it. [ laughter ] >> what was your grandma's name. >> jimmy: my grandma's name was gloria. >> mother or father's mom? >> jimmy: my mothers mom. >> how old were you? >> jimmy: i was probably -- -- ten? >> think you can you get your head in a fence this big? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. my head's not that big. >> yeah. families get along? >> jimmy: yeah. >> is there turmoil? >> jimmy: no turmoil. >> what are you hiding, fallon? >> jimmy: no turmoil. no turmoil at all. >> what brand was the mayo? what brand was the mayo? what brand was the mayo? >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] sorry. >> why did you put your head in there in the first place? >> jimmy: i was a curious child. >> curious chi

>> jimmy: thank you.roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] nbc sports announced yesterday that it reached a 12-year tv deal to carry multiple golf tournaments including the open and senior open championship. which explains nbc's new jingle. ♪ >> shh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: everyone has been pretty freaked out by this jail break at a prison in upstate new york. there has been a big manhunt going on and they're saying the prisoners who escaped could have gone anywhere. but i was watching cnn, and i think i may know why they have been having such a hard time finding them. watch. >> the intense manhunt is spreading. the fugitives could be anywhere, from new york's north country -- >> jimmy: that's not new york. [ laughter ] can we take a look at that again? this is for real. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: they're looking in the wrong -- that's not new york. at this point, i'm just impressed they used a map of the u.s. really. [ laughter ] i mean, really, good for them. this is very int

>> uh, yes jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah.tor. >> oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, here we go. put your goggles on. >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: 'cause safety is sexy. >> you got it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yep. [ laughter ] >> okay. >> jimmy: you want to go hang out? [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: you want to go hang out after the show dressed up like this? we'll go to a couple bars. hi, can we get a couple drinks, please? [ laughter ] here's how the race will work. we're going to ride these mini horse motorcycles through the studio on a course that represents the three legs of your triple crown. first we'll take a left into the hallway, passing a few kentucky derby ladies in big hats drinking mint juleps. [ laughter ] then we'll head back down the hallway past two guys in horse heads tossing mud at us just like the track at the preakness. [ laughter ] finally, representing the belmont stakes, we'll pass a a couple new york bookies with a lot of money riding on this race. now here we go. and then it's back her

>> jimmy: hi there, and welcome to "jimmy kimmel live: game night."t's a big night, the series already has the makings of one of the all-time greats. tonight, from cleveland, ohio, game three of the nba finals between the golden state warriors and lebron james. the series is -- tied at -- one game apiece after two overtime games. which, by the way, is very expensive for the teams. when the games go into overtime, they have to pay the players time and a half. this is the first time in history that the first two games of a finals series went into overtime. cavaliers won their first nba finals game ever in game two. lebron has been impossible to stop. he had 39 points, 16 rebounds and 11 assists, despite the fact that he got hacked so badly that both china and north korea had to deny responsibility for it. big win for cleveland. they now have home court advantage. lebron was very fired up. he let out a scream, as the game ended, that -- lebron james screamed louder than the kid they burned at the stake on "game of thrones" the other night. afterwards, he

♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hola, i'm jimmy. game four.e night special. we are coming to you now in primetime, which is the primest time of all of them. tonight, game four of the nba finals from the quicken loans arena, which makes sense it would be from quicken loans arena because ticket prices are so high, a lot of fans have to take a quicken loan out to get a seat. [ laughter ] the city of cleveland is, as you can imagine, abuzz. if the cavaliers win, not only would it be the first nba title in the history of cleveland, it would be the first sports championship for the city since 1964. cleveland hasn't even appeared in a super bowl, which is -- even the black-eyed peas have appeared in a super bowl. city of cleveland hasn't enjoyed a title in more than 50 years no one in cleveland even knows how to high five anymore. they do this. golden state warriors have had a long dry spell, too. the last time they won was in 1975. simon and garfunkel, to give you an idea, were still married, the last time these guys won a title. so, it's a very lon

jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, no, no, we're good. we're good. you can take the funnel out. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i'm gonna put my helmet back on 'cause i don't want my face to freeze off. >> jimmy: yeah. >> okay. so, now -- >> jimmy: there you go. so, you have that. that's now in the thing. >> now you can go -- just stand behind the counter there. >> jimmy: okay. [ light laughter ] >> because i'm gonna -- i'm gonna put the cap on. and so, we're gonna contain this pressure. we're gonna contain all this vapor. it's gonna continue to expand, it's gonna push against the walls and we're gonna cap it and then we're gonna put in that tub and pile thousands of ping balls -- ping-pong balls on top of it. okay? so, here we go. >> jimmy: all right, wait. so, you're gonna put that other -- >> cover your ears! [ laughter ] everyone cover your ears. >> jimmy: all right, so wait, wait. so this is in there now. it's just liquid nitrogen in a a bottle of soda? >> yeah. >> jimmy: but it's an empty bottle. >> well, we put liquid nitrogen in a plastic bottle with

♪ jimmy kimmel live ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. thanks. thank you. you very much for being here. i appreciate that. i hope had a good weekend. i had a great weekend. it was incredible. as i'm sure you know. the supreme court on friday ended same-sex marriage bans across the country clearing the way for gay and lesbian couples to marry in any state and really giving that rainbow filter on facebook a workout. [ applause ] not everyone is celebrating. some states are still resistant. louisiana court clerks were advised by the attorney general to wait 45 days before issuing licenses. which would mean the wait in louisiana was longer than the wait to buy an ak-47 in louisiana. a court clerk disagreed. a couple guys got married. phil bryant the governor of mississippi said the supreme court ruling was out of step with his constituents. that's right. it's mississippi, it ain't mr.ssissippi, folks. [ applause ] thank you. in kentucky today. we worked very hard on that one today. several county clerks in kentucky said that to avoid being discriminatory they

why not jimmy?my, even though we're not playing card -- i had a moment, wait a minute, that's me. >> it's unbelievable. how personal i take it, it is ridiculous. >> jimmy: do you have brothers and sisters? >> brothers. >> jimmy: were they like that as well? >> no. but i think they were terrible winners, and that's why i'm a terrible loser. if you're not brought up with a gracious winner, it can be really hard to lose. >> jimmy: now you never lose. at the emmy's you won both categories. [ cheers and applause ] >> pretty exciting. >> jimmy: did you feel at all bad about it? >> there is a certain amount of guilt. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> i do feel bad. but then i feel good. i feel a whole lot of things. i was really glad that you read my name and gave it to me. >> jimmy: you know what, you didn't even win that emmy. i just gave it to you. i like you. that's the power. >> stick together. >> jimmy: if you did that, if you just went with somebody's name who happened to be a friend of yours, they would no

>> jimmy: tastycles. >> steve: people are filthy. >> jimmy: filthy. >> steve: filthy. >> jimmy: whatfilled with jelly and covered in peanuts. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. [ laughter ] ♪ thank you, people who get mad about their plane being delayed, for letting me know you'd rather die than wait in an airport. [ laughter ] it's like, plane's not ready. tastycles. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪ >> steve: open your mouth and taste them. tastycles. >> jimmy: you eat mine and i'll eat yours. [ laughter ] >> steve: how much do they cost? >> jimmy: fun to share, share your tastycles. [ clapping ] put your hand in my bag and grab a tastycle. two for you -- >> steve: keep them in your pocket to keep them warm. tastycles. >> jimmy: not all tastycles are the same size. [ laughter ] ♪ >> steve: i got some for my staff. [ laughter ] there's big ones, soft ones, some aren't even the same size. tastycles. every one's a surprise. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. here we go. ♪ thank you, shandy, for being a a delicious summertime drink, but sounding like the name of a a retired stripper. [ laughter ] put your

then later, it's jimmy versus jimmy. i face off against jimmy butler of the chicago bulls and our new game, "sink it or swim." it's half pop a shot, half dunk tank. whoever makes it drops the other guy into the water. and it's cold water. do you think i have a chance against jimmy butler? his free-throw percentage is like 85%. i guess we'll find out. one more thing. while we're on the subject of the chicago bulls, there's no doubt the greatest one of them all is michael jordan. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: michael jordan has six nba titles but michael faces a game we created specifically for him, it's called can michael jordan palm it? all right. listen how it goes. we will see an item and then together we will guess if michael jordan can pick it up with one hand, if he can palm it. all right. the first item is a mannequin head. can michael jordan palm it? well, let's find out. >> yep. >> jimmy: pretty easy. if he worked at macy's, no problem. next up, a disco ball. do we think michael jordan can palm a disco ball. [ audience sa