and now, here's jimmy kimmel! >> he was run over by american. >>> from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, nate parker is here. we have music from the afghan whigs. here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. i'm jimmy. i'm your host. thank you for bringing meaning into my life. i appreciate it. it's very nice. we have -- today has been a strange day. i think i'm in a feud right now. not like a family feud but a real feud. no prizes. i made a video with jennifer aniston, the actress. she asked me to play the part of her son. they released the video. a lot of people have been talking about it. this morning on the "today" show, apparently they do a segment where they ask martha stewart about her opinion on things. why they ask martha stewart other than making a boutinere out of toilet paper. >> ryan seacrest introduces this video. shows she's pregnant with trip lets. she has two kids one of which is jimmy kimmel. >> do you like it in. >> i don't really like it. i think it makes some of some things and shows b

jimmy kimmel -- [ speaking in foreign language ] >> jimmy: hey, there, how are you doing?> okay, jimmy, i'm doing good. >> big time laughing outloud. >> jimmy: i'm ready. i'm prepared. sorry to put you on the spot. >> are you ready, jimmy? >> jimmy: i am ready, yes. >> okay. why did the chicken cross the road. >> i don't know. why did the chicken cross the road? >> he didn't cross the road because he was run over by the american actress lindsay lohan! >> jimmy: that's pretty good. >> chicken particulmarsala for y tonight. >> jimmy: do you have any others? >> okay. grea great. >> what is the difference between lindsay lohan and the famous stuntman evil ka new year's evele? >> i don't know what is the difference between evil kanevil? >> i cannot find the punch line. >> knock knock. >> let me do another one. >> jimmy: yeah, do another one. >> jimmy. >> jimmy: yes. >> who is there? lindsay lohan's car. >> lindsay lohan's car who? >> i didn't get that one. i didn't get that at all. do you have anything about jesus possibly having a wife? >> who is jesus? the guy with the beard

>>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live," lea michele. >> i'm screech. >> jimmy: they called you a ghost. >> dicky: adam devine? >> nom. >> you're not real! >> dicky: and music from the avett brothers. >> jimmy: i'm the most dangerous man in america. you hear that, everyone who wouldn't go to the prom with me. >> dicky: all-new "jimmy kimmel live" coming up next. >> dicky: wisk deep clean presents "who is the real rulon gardner" and here is your host "jimmy kimmel live." >> jimmy: hello, and welcome to "who is the real rulon gardner?" where we try to figure out which of these masked warriors you're about to meet is, in fact, gold medal-winning wrestler from the 2000 games, rulon gardner. contestant number one -- ♪ >> i am the real rulon gardner! >> jimmy: okay, and let's meet contestant number two. >> guillermo: no, i am the real rulon gardner. >> jimmy: wow! all right. it's time to compete. round one. the real rulon gardner received an honor recently. what was that honor? >> i was -- i was named wisk deep clean's first official sweat ambassador. every workout i lose practice. >>

>> jimmy: it's me, jimmy kimmel. >> oh, jimmy kimmel! jimmy kimmel. ng time, no vision. >> jimmy: well, it's good to vision you, too. hey -- [ laughter ] i was wondering if you have any jokes about lindsay lohan getting into a car accident. >> lindsay lohan joke? >> no, i think we ran out like two accidents ago. did it happen again? >> jimmy: yeah, it did. they arrested her for a hit and run last night. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. >> well, she is quite the hot mess, huh? >> jimmy: i guess so. she is. >> i will check to see if we have any leftover from last time. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> let me get our number one hilarious teller of jokes, roger. >> jimmy: okay, great. >> roger! >> jimmy: hey, there, how are you dog? >> okay, jimmy. >> i'm doing good. >> big time laughing outloud. >> jimmy: i'm ready. i'm prepared. sorry to put you on the spot. >> are you ready, jimmy? >> jimmy: i am ready, yes. >> one second, hold on, hold on. okay. why did the chicken cross the rode? >> jimmy: i don't know. why did the chicken cross the road? >> he didn't cross th

. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live," lea michele. >> i'm screech. >> jimmy: they called you a ghost. >> dicky: adam devine? >> nom. >> you're not real! >> dicky: and music from the avett brothers. >> jimmy: i'm the most dangerous man in america. you hear that, everyone who [ romney ] this president can ask us to be patient. this president can tell us it was someone else's fault. but this president cannot tell us that you're better off today than when he took office. [ female announcer ] here in virginia, we're not better off under president obama. his defense cuts threaten over one hundred thirty thousand jobs, lowering home values, putting families at risk. the romney plan? tax cuts for middle class filies. north american energy independence. create over three hundred forty thousand new jobs for virginia. [ romney ] i'm mitt romney and i approved this message. >> dicky: wisk deep clean presents "who is the real rulon gardner" and here is your host "jimmy kimmel live." >> jimmy: hello, and welcome to "who is the real rulon gardner?" where we try to figure out which of these

. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live," lea michele. >> i'm screech. >> jimmy: they called you a ghost. >> dicky: adam devine? >> nom. >> you're not real! >> dicky: and music from the avett brothers. >> jimmy: i'm the most dangerous man in america. you hear that, everyone who wouldn't go to the prom with me. >> dicky: anncr: it'll start out as concrete and steel... but it'll become so much more. a new world-class resort casino in maryland. two thousand construction jobs to build it. four thousand permanent, good-paying jobs when it's done. hundreds of millions for maryland schools... real oversight to make sure the money goes... where it's supposed to. but none of it will happen unless we vote for... question seven this november. vote for question seven. and help build a better future for maryland. >> dicky: wisk deep clean presents "who is the real rulon gardner" and here is your host "jimmy kimmel live." >> jimmy: hello, and welcome to "who is the real rulon gardner?" where we try to figure out which of these masked warriors you're about to meet is, in fact, gold medal-winnin

i said who, they said jimmy kimmel. i really went to town on his face. it felt great to punch jimmy but i also punched martha. >> oh, jesus, mary, are you okay? >> right in the nose. >> hitting jimmy is a little bit like hitting a soft bag of cheese, maybe a brie. >> it felt good, i kept popping him and popping him. i really got into it. he just has that kind of face. >> i'm kicked i won't hurt you again. >> don't do that. >> i'm sorry. you're sensitive. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, ladies and gentlemen. now with the emmys behind us, we turn our attention to a new season of "dancing with the stars." they're alling it "dancing with the stars" all-stars which is funny, because it basically admits these stars on previous seasons weren't, but you probably call "dancing with the stars" who are bad at managing their savings. lineup includes kirstie alley, pamela anderson. shawn johnson, speed skater apolo anton ohno. >> gilles marina. melissa rye cost. jos jos josie joey fatone. as with my tradition i'll pick a winner tonight. i do this at the beginnin

jimmy kimmel is next. happy labor day, everybody. >> dicky: tonight on jimmy kimmel leave -- >> today is national relaxation day, a day i've been preparing for for my entire life. >> dicky: thomas haden church. >> there's a fawn and one of my cats. >> jimmy: what is this? >> that's my friend, todd. >> i've been working on an art project. >> tell me what you think of that. >> tell me what you think of that. >> jimmy: oh, oh, >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- thomas haden church. chef rick bayless. and music from jjamz. with cleto and the cletones. and now, once more, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, everyone. well, that's very nice. welcome. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thank you for accepting me as one of your own kind. you know what today is? there are a lot of made-up holidays that somehow become official, like national high-five day, there's national talk like a pirate d

♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, everyone.ell, that's very nice. welcome. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thank you for accepting me as one of your own kind. you know what today is? there are a lot of made-up holidays that somehow become official, like national high-five day, there's national talk like a pirate day. father's day. but today is -- [ laughter ] today is national relaxation day, a day i've been preparing for, i think, my entire life. today's the day when you can just check facebook and not think about work, just like every other day, really, here in america. this is -- you know what they call national relaxation day in china? death. [ laughter ] wednesday doesn't seem like the best choice of days for national relaxation day. and, by the way, i don't like it when people tell me to relax. you know who tells you to relax? dentists and rapists. [ laughter ] i feel like between the medical marijuana, the massage chairs and the sleep number mattresses, we're relaxed enough. som

>> jimmy kimmel told me to. >> who is jimmy kimmel? >> will you try it on?e if it's comfortable. >> i look like a girl. i look like a girl. look at me. don't i look like a girl? i'm such a girl in this. >> this is all just to get a little jimmy kimmel -- >> what? >> i hate jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] >> thanks to all the moms and dads who participated. sorry, kids. tonight, we have a good show. cat deeley is here. music from imagine dragons. and then jamie foxx. so stick around. [ dollar ] that's me -- l50858544p. but i'm not just a number. i have a purpose -- a higher purpose. [ muffled ] have some respect! not good. oh, man. hello? mm, no! finally -- the buck stops here. [ male announcer ] mcdonald's meaty, melty mcdouble with 100% beef and cheese. and the juicy mcchicken. just some of the irresistible choices on the dollar menu. only at mcdonald's. [ male announcer ] start with a simple idea. think. drink coffee. hatch a design. kill the design. design something totally original. do it again. that's good. kick out the committees. call in the eng

and now, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello. welcome.s very kind of you -- don't think i don't appreciate it, because i do. i want to start tonight's show off with good news. there's now fewer than 50 days left than presidential election. it will all be over. i feel like this has been going on since i was in college. mitt romney has been having a difficult month. he trails obama in every major poll. romney's been doing everything he can to get those numbers up and it's not really working. this is an interview he did with telemundo last night and i don't know why exactly i found this to be funny, but it is. [ speaking in foreign language ] >> jimmy: somehow, he sounds even whiter in spanish. romney also did an interview in english this morning. mitt and ann romney sat down to chat on live with kelly and michael. kelly ripa and michael strahan asked them a series of rapid fire personal questions, i guess the idea was to give us a chance to know who the romneys really are. it worked, because some of the insights they gave were, quite frankl

here's jimmy kimmel.have got everybody the video -- that happens from time to time. there's some confusion in this cape room. just so you know, this was a lot more fun than letterman has. >> i love dave, but -- >> i'm having a lost fun. >> bad start is no one is watching this. >> casey affleck bought the rights to your life story. he's going to produce the movie. >> that's crazy. >> does he pay you for the rights of the story? >> i let my wife -- >> sheled lle canceled it. >> who would she like to play you? >> i can't reveal that. >> i think denzel washington would be a great choice. >> inie the same thing. our smails are are active. >> will your wife be in on the auditioning practice? >> she goes way back to dawson's year in the day. >> if you get to cast her part. you get to cast your part. >> seems somethingta dramatic has to happen in the end. right now you're still playing baseball. >> yeah, the thing is, bibl is whale i'm doing it. if something comes out it would be the right time to come out. >> i

jimmy kimmel is next. >> tonight on jimmy kimmel live -- unnecessary censorship. >> i'm getting all [ bleep ] up. >> kyra sedgwick. >> i saw your husband in london during the olympic time. >> really? >> oh, i hope he's not in trouble. >> vhs collectors, joe and nick. and music from josh doyle. >> would you call yourself a hero? >> yes, i would. i call myself anncr: this casino's in west virginia. but it makes millions off marylanders every year. now they're running dishonest ads. why? because voting for question seven is a vote to build a... world-class resort casino in maryland. creating thousands of jobs and... ...according to the official department of legislative... services, hundreds of millions for our schools. while saving taxpayer money by cutting casino subsidies. question seven. good jobs and better schools in maryland. not west virginia. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- kyra sedgwick. vhs collectors joe and nick. and music from josh doyle. with cleto and the cletones. >> and now, more than ever, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >>

jimmy kimmel is next. >> tonight on jimmy kimmel live -- unnecessary censorship. >> i'm getting all [ bleep ] up. >> kyra sedgwick. >> i saw your husband in london during the olympic time. >> really? >> oh, i hope he's not in trouble. >> vhs collectors, joe and nick. and music from josh doyle. >> would you call yourself a hero? >> yes, i would. [ romney ] this president can ask us to be patient. thipresident can tell us it was someone else's fault. b this president cannot tell us that you're better off today than when he took office. [ female announcer ] here in virginia, we' not better r off uer preside obama. his defense cuts threaten over one hundred thirty thousand jobs, lowering home values, puttingamilies at risk. the romney plan? tax cuts for middle class families. north american energy independence. create over three hundred forty thousand new jobs ffor virginia. [ romney ] i'm mitt romney and i approved this message. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- kyra sedgwick. vhs collectors joe and nick. and music from josh doyle. with cleto and the cletones

and now, and from here on out, here's jimmy kimmel! heers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, welcome. hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming out tonight. and i will say, i am proud to accept your nomination for president of the united states. thank you. [ applause ] sorry, i was watching c-span all day. you know, this democratic national convention wraps up in charlotte tonight. there were a lot of speeches, touting president obama's accomplishments since he took office and osama bin laden is dead and the oil industry has pulled through pretty well. but in 2008 there was no snooki and no honey boo boo. snooki even had a child and someone has to be held accountable. that's my take on this. former president clinton made an impression last night with his speech. he's a great public speaker. a lot of his speech was improvis improvised, but he does the trick where he imagines everybody in the audience is naked, except hillary. [ laughter ] mrs. clinton watched her husband's speech vi

you're going to "jimmy kimmel live" in brooklyn! >> jimmy: sir, do you have any idea what's going on? >> some what, yeah. >> jimmy: some what? okay. we are going to bring you to brooklyn to see our show live there, okay? >> really? >> jimmy: he doesn't know what we're talking about. thank you, sal. thank you, subway. >> dicky: subway will be giving away a new grand sub-prize to a lucky consumer each day throughout the month of september, as well as hundreds of smaller prizes throughout each day. join the sub-prize party. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with terry bradshaw, dave matthews and music from dave matthews band.'s the subway® sub y and you could win a new grand prize every day, all september! like jeep compass suvs and florida vacations, kinect prizes, and radio shack prize packs. even cash, and more! just grab a 30-ounce drink or doritos chips with your sub for a chance to win! ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] prepare yourself for the feeling of more water without using more water. with the unique wave pattern of

with cleto and the cletones. >> and now, more than ever, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hola. thanks very much. hi, there, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming tonight. this is very nice. this is very kind of you. welcome. do any of you have furniture of ikea in your homes? no? ikea is a great place to buy reasonably priced furniture and tiny meatballs. when my kids were little, we would go and drop them all in the ball pit. that reminds me, i should probably go pick them up sometime. they are moving beyond furniture. that are building a district in the city of hamburg, germany, the most infrastructure really unsound district of hamburg, germany. they are building shopping centers, condos. remember how crappy your college apartment look? imagine a whole town of that. they said this that it's going to be time consuming. it will require hundreds of thousands of these. i wonder how they will get the ikea city to fit on the roof of the car. they must not have hurricanes there. tropical storm isaa

jimmy kimmel is up next. see you tomorrow. >>> up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live." >> there you are in bed with the lions. >> and kerry washington. >> if there's anything going on between anybody, it's you and i. >> really? >> "dancing with the stars," pamela anderson and music from alanis anncr: more anti-maryland ads. from this west virginia casino. they want marylanders to keep coming to west virginia... casinos like theirs. spending one hundred seventy million a year. question seven will keep those dollars at home. with a limited expansion of gaming that will mean... hundreds of millions for schools in the baltimore area... and across the state... according to the department of legislative services. and with independent audits required by law... question seven means millions for maryland schools. guaranteed. >> jimmy: hey guillermo, what are you doing? >> guillermo: i'm nominating myself for the toyota hall of fame: legends of fantasy football, where regular people like me can be fantasyootball her

jimmy kimmel is up next. see you tomorrow. >>> up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live." >> there you are in bed with the lions. >> and kerry washington. >> if there's anything going on between anybody, it's you and i. >> really? >> "dancing with the stars," pamela anderson and music from alanis >> jimmy: hey guillermo, what are you doing? >> guillermo: i'm nominating myself for the toyota hall of fame: legends of fantasy football, where regular people like me can be fantasy football heroes. >> jimmy: i play fantasy football too! >> guillermo: me too! and i just know i'm gonna be inducted into the toyota hall of fame, hall of fame, hall of fame, hall of fame. it's such an honor to be inducted. i'd like to thank my mommy, my doggies pepe and paco, my toyota prius, and especially jimmy kimmel, because i kick his ass in fantasy football. he is a weak little punk and i eat him for lunch every week! and i would also like to thank my mother. thank you everybody! >> jimmy: that was a very powerful dream sequence, i

and now, here's jimmy kimmel! e ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for your enthusiasm. i'm purelled and ready to go. just out of cure asiiosity, how of you have iphones? wow. well they're garbage now. apple made a top secret announcement event today. everyone was hoping for a big surprise. that is exactly what they got. >> thank you for coming. i know you're all expecting a big announcement about the iphone. i do have a big announcement. there will be no iphone 5 and no more new iphones ever. the one we have now is plenty good enough. thank you. >> jimmy: all right. that's good. he's right. actually apple did autopsy veil the iphone 5 today. oh, my god, i thought of a great invention, the iphone 6. somebody write -- guillermo will you write that down? apparently this time it blends functionality with design. the screen is slightly bigger and has aa-6 processor chip which is either good or bad. i don't know what that is. the component is thinner, supports 4g data and best of all you can have

experience it now at randomactsoffusion.com. >> guillermo: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minuteswith dr. phil mcgraw, dakota johnson and music from rita ora? >> jimmy: yes. ♪ but between check-ups, it goes through a lot. ♪ tartar builds and that feeling fades. with new listerine® ultraclean™, you can keep it dentist clean. it's the only mouthwash with proven tartar control and new everfresh™ technology for a powerful dentist clean feeling up to 3x longer. ahhhhhhhh. [ male announcer ] keep your mouth dentist clean with new listerine® ultraclean™. power to your mouth™. ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] prepare yourself for the feeling of more water without using more water. with the unique wave pattern of delta h2okinetic technology. another way delta is more than just a shower. see what delta can do. so the production of twix was divided between two separate factories. left twix factory cascades caramel and chocolate onto cookie, while right twix factory flows caramel and chocolate onto cookie. today they share nothing, but a wrapper and a driveway. try both and pick a side. ♪ >> dicky: f

jimmy kimmel is up next. see you here tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> the nfl lockout is over. the refs will be back to work. [ applause ] and i am happy to say, there will never be a bad call again. >> selena gomez. >> aunt chippy, who are you least looking forward to seeing tonight? >> you. >> lenny venito. music from tony bennett and "unnecessary censorship." music from tony bennett and "[ female announuncer ] dear daughter, welcome to america. ur share of obama's debt is over 50 thousand dollars, and it grows every day. obama's policies aakre making it harder on wom. the poverty rate for women the highest in 17 years. more women are unemployed under president obama. re than five and a half million women can't find work. that's what obama's policies have done for women. welcome, daughter. [ romney ] i'm mitt romney and i approve this message. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. the presidential election is coming up and guillermo and i are voting early at 7-eleven with free coffee

>> they love it, yes. >> now what if that had been jimmy kimmel singing? >> jimmy kimmel is great.jimmy kimmel. just don't like him at a 12-year-old. >> next, this is hectic. martha, when you get on a flight, i cannot imagine you're ever too overjoyed to see the meals. >> i have made a point of not relying on the meals served on the plane. >> do you bring your own? >> i do. i do. a snack of some sort, and water. you can't take water. have you to make sure you hoard the water. >> people are now posting photos of airline meals. >> oh, look at this. >> the worst ever airline meals. >> what is that? >> not from the pages of "martha stewart living." >> this is no fricasse. >> 26,000 photographs of meals. some of them are good, but some a little bit less so. >> i wonder what the calorie and fat content in. >> tuna fish sandwich or ham and cheese sandwich, wouldn't that be better than a lot of cooked meals? >> you need martha stewart to take over catering. >> usually when you fly, you don't get a meal anymore. >> that's right. you have to pay extra for it. >> absolutely. >> and it should

>> they love it, yes. >> now what if that had been jimmy kimmel singing? >> jimmy kimmel isgreat.jimmy kimmel. just don't like him at a 12-year-old. >> next, this is hectic. martha, when you get on a flight, i cannot imagine you're ever too overjoye to see the meals. >> i have made a point of not relying on the meals served on the plane. >> do you bring your own? >> i do. i do. a snack of some sort, and water. you can't take water. have you to make sure you hoard the water. >> people are now posting photos of airline meals. >> oh, look at this. >> the worst ever airline meals. >> what is that? >> not from the pages of "martha stewart living." >> this is no fricasse. >> 26,000 photographs of meals. some of them are good, but some a little bit less so. >> i wonder whathe calorie and fat content in. >> tuna fish sandwich or ham and cheese sandwich, wouldn't that be better than a lot of cooked meals? >> you need martha stewart to take over catering. >> usually when you fly, you don't get a meal anymore. >> that's right. you have to pay extra for it. >> absolutely. >> and it should be

and now, fortunately, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, hi, everybody. thank you. thank you, cleto. i am jimmy, i'm the host of the show, thanks for watching. thank you for joining us. wonderful to have you here. after the show last night, i went to a concert. i went to see the killers at a theater down the street here -- [ applause ] in hollywood. and it was a great show. excellent. but -- there was a guy in front of me with a camera, a small digital camera, and he would hold the camera up above his head and i'm behind, so, the only way we could see the concert was through his little display screen on the camera. and he would take one picture and he would wait until he could take another and he would take another picture and then he would take a third picture and then he would bring the camera down and he would look at it, i don't know if he was deleting, looking at them. but once he was finished here, he would then bring the camera right back above his head and take three

and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching.ng. for everything, really. everybody all right? you guys feel okay tonight? good, good. i'm glad we got that out of the way. i hope you're having a good fall so far. do you know it's fall? fall came in on saturday. although you wouldn't know it here in hollywood. it's still hot. the leaves don't fall off the trees in four months. our kids jump in discarded head shots -- you get a lot of paper cuts but it's fun. look, i got a little piece of john stamos. enjoy. [ applause ] we also have a new season of "dancing with the stars" this week. it was the first elimination night for "dancing with the stars" all-stars tonight. all of the dancing stars from previous seasons are on the show. it's the best of the not very best. tonight's elimination was pamela anderson. she had the lowest score, 17 out of 30. but these one of stars that are actually not a star on the show. look at that. i couldn't do that. if i did that, i could never walk again. right now pamela and her dancing partner tristan.

. >>> up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live." >> this weekend is armageddon 2. keanu reeves. >> to film something and have that exist. >> jimmy: you lost me about 2 minutes ago. >> jennifer goodwin. minutes ago. >[ female announcer ] dear daughter, welcome to america. ur share of obama's debt is over 50 thousand dollars, and it grows every day. obama's policies are making it harder on women. the poverty rate for women -- the highest in 17 years. more women are unemployed unr president obobama. more than five and a half millllion womn can't find work. that's what obama's policies have done for women. welcome, daughter. [ romney ] i'm mitt romney and i approve this message. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- keanu reeves. ginnifer goodwin. and music from hot chip. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hi, there, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks all of you for coming out tonight. it's about time you came out. do we have anyone in our stu

are jessica biel, eva mendez, selena gomez and halle berry, the only guy to crack the top 20 was jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i guess that's true, right? maybe. i'm the most dangerous man in america. you hear that, everyone who wouldn't go to the prom with me? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: according to the list i'm more dangerous than taylor swift but less dangerous than sofia vergara. last year brad pitt was in the top 20 and now he's not. i finally beat brad pitt at something. that's exciting. i have no idea why my name popped up on those lists but not only am i dangerous to search on the internet as guillermo will tell you, i'm dangerous to search in real life too. [ beeping ] >> guillermo: all right. put your arms on your head, please. okay. open your jacket.

if you watch the jimmy kimmel show every night, he did the shtick with his family. cy jordan twitter thing kind of fell flat. but overall, it was good, bus the real winner is jimmy fallon -- kimmel, excuse me, because his show moves to 11:30 on abc starting in january, so this is the first major stunt where the network is using to promote him to a much wider audience. i'm assuming 18 to 20 million people will be watching the show or have watched the show tonight so tomorrow in the morning, everyone will be talking about jimmy kimmel, and it's a real nice way to help launch his 11:30 show come january. >> bruno, what do you think were some of his best moments? of course, he had tracy morgan lie down on stage to get people to tweet and tune in. >> well, you know, that was one of them. he was trying to start a twitter trend and hashtag. i think one of his better moments was the opening monologue with the whole botox thing. as you know in hollywood, you're nobody if you're not botox up and down. so that was a real nice takeoff on the whole botox epidemic that's ravaging