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Nov 13, 2012
11/12
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. >> hey, guys, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: how are you?w are they hanging. >> yeah, they're hanging fine. what's going on there. you having a party? >> we are celebrating our five-day festival of lights. >> happy devani, jimmy. >> jimmy: happy devali to you too. i was wondering if you have jokes about justin bieber and selena gomez broeaking up. >> oh, yes, most undoubtedly. let me get our number one teller of jokes, roger. >> roger. >> jimmy: he's the best. >> by checking click in and how -- >> roger, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: roger, it's jimmy kimmel. >> bieber and gomez jokes tonight, hey.dewali to you. we are very ready for jokes. >> why did selena gomez and have relationship with justin bieber? >> jimmy: i don't know. why did selena gomez enter a relationship with justin bieber? >> because she wasn't ready to have his baby, baby, baby, baby oh. >> sweet. sweet. right, just like this. >> jimmy: do you have any others? >> yeah, yeah. >> what did the doctors prescribe for justin bieber's broken heart? >> jimmy: i don't know. what did the d
. >> hey, guys, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: how are you?w are they hanging. >> yeah, they're hanging fine. what's going on there. you having a party? >> we are celebrating our five-day festival of lights. >> happy devani, jimmy. >> jimmy: happy devali to you too. i was wondering if you have jokes about justin bieber and selena gomez broeaking up. >> oh, yes, most undoubtedly. let me get our number one teller of jokes, roger. >>...
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Nov 6, 2012
11/12
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jimmy kimmel, next. >> up next on all new jimmy kimmel live -- >> every march and november i stand in front of my microwave for no less than 20 minutes trying to figure how to reset the clock. >> robert pattinson. >> take him in. i mean, look at him. >> and chris hardwick. >> i have to follow a hufl pufl on this stage! >> jim >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about the new microsoft surface. it's packed with some features so incredible, i am not qualified to explain them so we brought in our technology experts, the gadget guru guys guillermo and yehya, to give us their take. gentlemen? >> thank you mr. jimmy kimmel. we are here to review the microsoft surface. first lets take it out of the box, shall we? >> jimmy: it's not the sur-face, it's the surface. >> yes, let's take it out of the box. >> yes, let's take it out of the box. >> jimmy: i can't wait to hear about all the great features. while they are working on it, let me just say that the surface has some amazing features including a magnetic keyboard and built-in kickstand, which allows it to easily transform from a tabl
jimmy kimmel, next. >> up next on all new jimmy kimmel live -- >> every march and november i stand in front of my microwave for no less than 20 minutes trying to figure how to reset the clock. >> robert pattinson. >> take him in. i mean, look at him. >> and chris hardwick. >> i have to follow a hufl pufl on this stage! >> jim >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about the new microsoft surface. it's packed with some features so incredible, i...
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Nov 16, 2012
11/12
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and then tell jimmy kimmel to stuff it. s been a special message from the american fred cross. fred! [ cheers and applause ] what do you have to say for yourself now? >> jimmy: it's unfriend. >> what? >> jimmy: it's unfriend, like national unfriend day, it's -- >> unfriend? >> jimmy: yeah, like on facebook. >> oh. >> jimmy: to get back to unfriend people that they aren't -- >> i feel a bit foolish. >> jimmy: this is the third year we've done this. >> it sounds like a very good idea. >> jimmy: thank you, yeah. nothing to do with fred at all. >> oh, that's a relief. thank, jimmy. >> jimmy: well, thank you. >> do you mind if i hang out in the green room? they have great meat balls back there. >> jimmy: enjoy. stay as long as you like. >> i didn't want to do this. i feel much better about this. >> jimmy: un -- ah -- i had no idea that was going to happen. [ laughter ] in business news, hostess, the company that makes twinkies, wonder bread, that sort of thing, is in big financial trouble right now. hostess filed chapter 11 back
and then tell jimmy kimmel to stuff it. s been a special message from the american fred cross. fred! [ cheers and applause ] what do you have to say for yourself now? >> jimmy: it's unfriend. >> what? >> jimmy: it's unfriend, like national unfriend day, it's -- >> unfriend? >> jimmy: yeah, like on facebook. >> oh. >> jimmy: to get back to unfriend people that they aren't -- >> i feel a bit foolish. >> jimmy: this is the third year we've done...
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Nov 29, 2012
11/12
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. >> an all-new "jimmy kimmel >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. over the past few weeks, we've heard a number of celebrities speak about the helping parents to rock campaign. it's helped countless parents reconnect with their inner-rocker. >> that's right, jimmy. it's even helped me rediscover my inner rock star. >> jimmy: you have an inner rock star? >> yes. roll the tape! >> hi, everybody, it's me, guillermo. i love the new hyundai santa fe because it's very roomy and it has lots of great safety features which is perfect for my family. but it also helps me rock. let's go guys, let's rockamole! >> oh, this hyundai is great. ♪ ♪ i was born to rock and i was born to eat rock-rock-rock-a-mole my rock-a-mole is a real treat ♪ ♪ rock-rock-rock-a-mole you take some avocados and some spice ♪ ♪ rock-rock-rock-a-mole add some rock and roll and it's very nice ♪ ♪ rock rock rock rock rock-a-mole rock rock rock rock rock-a-mole ♪ yeah! okay dudes, i got to pick up my son. ♪ rock rock >> yeah! >> dicky: the new santa fe from hyundai, proud sponsor of "jimmy ki
. >> an all-new "jimmy kimmel >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. over the past few weeks, we've heard a number of celebrities speak about the helping parents to rock campaign. it's helped countless parents reconnect with their inner-rocker. >> that's right, jimmy. it's even helped me rediscover my inner rock star. >> jimmy: you have an inner rock star? >> yes. roll the tape! >> hi, everybody, it's me, guillermo. i love the new hyundai santa fe because it's...
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Nov 6, 2012
11/12
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jimmy kimmel, next. >> up next on all new jimmy kimmel live -- >> every march and november i stand in front of my microwave for no less than 20 minutes trying to figure how to reset the clock. robert pattinson. >> take him in. i mean, look at him. >> and chris hardwick. >> i have follow a hufl pufl on this stage! >> i have follow a hufl pufl [ mitt romney ] we have to work on a collaborative basis. look, the reason i'm in this race is there are people that are really hurting today in this country. and we face this deficit -- could crush the fututure generations. and republicans and democrats both love america but we need to have leadership -- leadership in washington that will actually bring people together and get the job done and could not care less if it's a republican or a democrat. i've done it before, i'll do it again. i'm mitt romney, and i approve this message. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about the new microsoft surface. it's packed with some features so incredible, i am not qualified to explain them so we brought in our technology experts, the gadget guru guys
jimmy kimmel, next. >> up next on all new jimmy kimmel live -- >> every march and november i stand in front of my microwave for no less than 20 minutes trying to figure how to reset the clock. robert pattinson. >> take him in. i mean, look at him. >> and chris hardwick. >> i have follow a hufl pufl on this stage! >> i have follow a hufl pufl [ mitt romney ] we have to work on a collaborative basis. look, the reason i'm in this race is there are people that...
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Nov 3, 2012
11/12
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jimmy kimmel is next. have a safe weekend. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn. kelly ripa. >> i feel like you should do the show here always. >> jimmy: i would like to. it's been a lot of fun. >> a special appearance by chris rock. jimmy's youtube challenge. >> where's all the candy? >> jimmy: well done. >> and music from alicia keys. ♪ this girl is on fire >> an all-new so, maybe you're trying to figure out question seven. well, let me give it a shot. if you're ok with marylanders spending five hundred and... fifty million a year gaming in other states, fair enough. but if you think we should keep that money here... add twelve thousand jobs, and generate millions for schools... well you should probably vote for question seven. because if it doesn't pass, all of this goes away. that's why the post called seven, common sense. but decide for yourself. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about the new samsung galaxy 2. it's the best of both, a tablet and a phone. that you can t
jimmy kimmel is next. have a safe weekend. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn. kelly ripa. >> i feel like you should do the show here always. >> jimmy: i would like to. it's been a lot of fun. >> a special appearance by chris rock. jimmy's youtube challenge. >> where's all the candy? >> jimmy: well done. >> and music from alicia keys. ♪ this girl is on fire >> an all-new so, maybe you're trying to figure out...
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Nov 14, 2012
11/12
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jimmy kimmel is up next. we will see you here tomorrow. >> jimmy: i am jimmy kimmel with a word about windows phone 8 from microsoft. the only phone that uses live customizable tiles that allow you to make your phone as unique as you are. to show you more it is time to play "guess that famous character." [ cheers and applause ] and tonight, ctestant one, a gentleman we picked from studio audience, jose. where are you from? >> san diego, california. >> jimmy: jose from san diego. and our resident celebrity expert, yehya, ready to do battle, yehya? you know every celebrity there is? >> y know me. >> jimmy: thank you, yehya. the start screen of a famous character's phone. guess who this phone belongs to based on customizable tiles. you will see three tiles. and the first clue is the weather channel app. it says north pole, negative 26 fahrenheit. blizzardy. your second clue from the friend tile. that clue says, argggh, argggh. and for a final clue. one of more of the famous friend tiles. t-minus 41 days till lift
jimmy kimmel is up next. we will see you here tomorrow. >> jimmy: i am jimmy kimmel with a word about windows phone 8 from microsoft. the only phone that uses live customizable tiles that allow you to make your phone as unique as you are. to show you more it is time to play "guess that famous character." [ cheers and applause ] and tonight, ctestant one, a gentleman we picked from studio audience, jose. where are you from? >> san diego, california. >> jimmy: jose...
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hardwick and music from ben folds five with cleto and the cletones and now, all of the sudden, here's jimmy kimmelheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. very kind. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. we are back home in hollywood. i hope you stayed out of the heat today i hope you made the adjustment to daylight savings. today is that magical day that comes once a year when the clocks in our cars are finally almost correct again. [ laughter ] and by the way, if i could speak directly to the manufacturers of kitchen appliances for a second it's time to add a daylight savings button to your product. [ cheers and applause ] for real. every march and every november, i stand in front of my microwave for no less than 20 minutes trying to figure how to reset the clocks. i never once used the baked potato button, so why don't we use that. i would use the daylight savie ing button twice a year. i have 13 clocks in my house and with my car, 14. you spend an hour vetting alarm clocks. which is flavor flav when you need him? nowhere to be found. the nights are longer a
hardwick and music from ben folds five with cleto and the cletones and now, all of the sudden, here's jimmy kimmelheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. very kind. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. we are back home in hollywood. i hope you stayed out of the heat today i hope you made the adjustment to daylight savings. today is that magical day that comes once a year when the clocks in our cars are finally almost correct again. [ laughter ] and...
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Nov 3, 2012
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jimmy kimmel is next. have a safe weekend. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn. kelly ripa. >> i feel like you should do the show here always. >> jimmy: i would like to. it's been a lot of fun. >> a special appearance by chris rock. jimmy's youtube challenge. >> where's all the candy? >> jimmy: well done. >> and music from alicia keys. ♪ this girl is on fire >> an all-ne >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about the new samsung galaxy 2. it's the best of both, a tablet and a phone. that you can talk into. and how in the world did they come up with this idea? it happened like this! ♪ i love my phone ♪ i love my tablet >> hey, you got your tablet in your phone. >> hey, you got your phone in my tablet. >> what? >> hey, what is this? >> my phone has a tablet in it. i don't know, but my tablet has phone in it and even has a pen so i can write down a note and jot down an idea. yeah, the screen is so big, i can watch a whole movie on it. hey, you just shared your video by tapping ou
jimmy kimmel is next. have a safe weekend. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn. kelly ripa. >> i feel like you should do the show here always. >> jimmy: i would like to. it's been a lot of fun. >> a special appearance by chris rock. jimmy's youtube challenge. >> where's all the candy? >> jimmy: well done. >> and music from alicia keys. ♪ this girl is on fire >> an all-ne >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel...
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an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn, coming up next. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. here in brooklyn where guillermo and i are about to shoot a commercial for subway. guillermo was training for the ing new york city marathon. i'm his coach. but what he doesn't know is that i'm going to intentionally screw this commercial up over and over again so he has to run a lot. all right? send him in. guillermo? you look great. all right, so, you're going to run around me while i read this stuff, but really fast, like, as fast as you can. >> okay. >> jimmy: let's practice it. marathon training requires energy and subway is a great play to fuel up fur your workout, right guillermo? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: try subway's egg white and cheese on flatbred loaded with -- oh, veggies. for lunch, subway's italian bmt packed with spicy pepperoni and black forest hat. i said hat. >> ready to eat, jimmy. >> jimmy: are you ready to eat? but you're not smiling. >> ready to eat. >> jimmy: ready to eat. which reminds me, i'm getting hungry. are you -- you're supposed to wait until i ask -- >>
an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn, coming up next. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. here in brooklyn where guillermo and i are about to shoot a commercial for subway. guillermo was training for the ing new york city marathon. i'm his coach. but what he doesn't know is that i'm going to intentionally screw this commercial up over and over again so he has to run a lot. all right? send him in. guillermo? you look great. all right, so, you're going to run around me while i...
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Nov 15, 2012
11/12
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>> i know do the show, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: it is not jimmy kimmel. nadine, do you have a guess as to whom it is? >> guillermo. >> jimmy: guillermo is absolutely correct! >> dicky: jimmy, nadine's won the all-new windows phone 8 from microsoft. >> jimmy: and look at this. here he is. >> and here is your new phone. and here is your prize. a picture. >> jimmy: wow. everybody "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with martin short, suraj sharma and music from ne-yo. the road tripper. and the music mentor. ♪ we're for the gamer. the play maker. the page turner. and the up-all-nighters. so when we set out to make a smart phone we didn't make one for all of us. we made one for each of us. new windows phone. reinvented around you. it's the bourbon lost to evaporation as it ages. but this story has two sides. this is the devil's cut: a more intense bourbon trapped in the barrel wood... that we found a way to unlock. the result is a smooth, slightly sinister, bourbon... ...and it ain't for choir boys. jim beam devil's cut. ...and it ain't for choir boys. g
>> i know do the show, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: it is not jimmy kimmel. nadine, do you have a guess as to whom it is? >> guillermo. >> jimmy: guillermo is absolutely correct! >> dicky: jimmy, nadine's won the all-new windows phone 8 from microsoft. >> jimmy: and look at this. here he is. >> and here is your new phone. and here is your prize. a picture. >> jimmy: wow. everybody "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with martin short,...
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Nov 2, 2012
11/12
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jimmy kimmel is next. you tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn. jon stewart and stephen colbert. >> did you guys know that stephen and i met on j-date? did you know? >> cousin sal's halloween in brooklyn. >> yeah, you did it! all right! open your bag. there you go. >> and music from the avett brothers with the brooklyn philharmonic. an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" philharmonic. an a[ minto ] you know,l live" those ads saying mitt romney would ban all abortions and contraception seemed a bit extreme. so i looked into it. turns out, romney doesn't oppose contraception at all. in fact, he thinks abortion should be an option in cases of rape, incest, or to save a mother's life. this issue's important to me, but i'm more concerned about the debt our children will be left with. i voted for president obama last time, but we just can't afford four more years. [ romney ] mim mitt romney and i approve this message. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. i'm here in brooklyn where guillermo a
jimmy kimmel is next. you tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn. jon stewart and stephen colbert. >> did you guys know that stephen and i met on j-date? did you know? >> cousin sal's halloween in brooklyn. >> yeah, you did it! all right! open your bag. there you go. >> and music from the avett brothers with the brooklyn philharmonic. an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" philharmonic. an a[ minto ] you know,l...
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Nov 14, 2012
11/12
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and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you.you are here tonight on probably the most special night of the year. it's my birthday tonight! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm pretty excited about it too. i got a lot of gifts and card from my family, co-workers today, it was very nice. i also got a few of those animated online birthday greetings, do you get those? i think they come from older people. someone, your information on a website. every year at stroke of mid night you get an e-mail with a lynn tubing a video of a dog wearing a birthday hat barking. raise the woof on your birthday. that kind of thing. and this goes on for years after you die by the way. it doesn't stop. remember when you had to make a little effort to wish someone a happy birthday. at least go to a cvs, find a card, sneezing, coughing, diseased people on the way to the pharmacy in the back of the store. that was a sacrifice. now it takes no effort at all. send one of the stupid video e-mails. post a quick message on facebook. i got an e-mail asking me to go to
and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you.you are here tonight on probably the most special night of the year. it's my birthday tonight! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm pretty excited about it too. i got a lot of gifts and card from my family, co-workers today, it was very nice. i also got a few of those animated online birthday greetings, do you get those? i think they come from older people. someone, your information on a website. every year at stroke of...
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Nov 1, 2012
11/12
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jimmy kimmel is up next. we'll see you tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn. david letterman. >> what can i do for you that you haven't been able to do for yourself? >> jimmy: just live with me for a month. >> jimmy at a brooklyn barbershop. >> what do you think of mitt romney's hair? >> i don't like it. >> look at you. >> and music from vampire weekend. >> do you like carrots? >> no! >> you don't? >> an all-new "jimmy kimmel >> you don't? >> a[ minto ] you know,mmel those ads saying mitt romney would ban all abortions and contraception seemed a bit extreme. so i looked into it. turns out, romney doesn't oppose contraception at all. in fact, he thinks abortion should be an option in cases of rape, incest, or to save a mother's life. this issue's important to me, but i'm more concerned about the debt our children will be left with. i voted for president obama last time, but we just can't afford fo more years. [ romney ] i'm mitt romney and i approve this message. >>> we're in t
jimmy kimmel is up next. we'll see you tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn. david letterman. >> what can i do for you that you haven't been able to do for yourself? >> jimmy: just live with me for a month. >> jimmy at a brooklyn barbershop. >> what do you think of mitt romney's hair? >> i don't like it. >> look at you. >> and music from vampire weekend. >> do you like carrots? >> no!...
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Nov 1, 2012
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jimmy kimmel is up next. we'll see you tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn. david letterman. >> what can i do for you that you haven't been able to do for yourself? >> jimmy: just live with me for a month. >> jimmy at a brooklyn barbershop. >> what do you think of mitt romney's hair? >> i don't like it. >> look at you. >> and music from vampire weekend. >> do you like carrots? >> no! >> you don't? >> an all-new "jimmy kimmel it's oysternomics 101. you start with a u.s. senator named ben. by helping restore thousands of acres of oyster beds, he kept hundreds of oystermen on the job... which keeps wholesalers in business... and that means more delivery companies... making deliveries to more restaurants... which hire more workers. and that means more oystermen. it's like he's out here with us. he's my friend, ben. i hope he's your friend, too. i'm ben cardin, and i approved this message. >>> we're in the williamsburg area of brooklyn, and this is the black and white gallery. ins
jimmy kimmel is up next. we'll see you tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn. david letterman. >> what can i do for you that you haven't been able to do for yourself? >> jimmy: just live with me for a month. >> jimmy at a brooklyn barbershop. >> what do you think of mitt romney's hair? >> i don't like it. >> look at you. >> and music from vampire weekend. >> do you like carrots? >> no!...
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Nov 10, 2012
11/12
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and now, first of all, here's jimmy kimmel!t's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. welcome. gracias. that's very kind. thank you for coming. thank you for watching. i'm the host, my name is jimmy. i have a lot -- needless to say, i've got a lot to say tonight, you might not like any of what i have to say, but i'm going to say it, so hear me out, please. you're here on an exciting night. james bond himself, daniel craig is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] he's here tonight. he's here to remind us that we need to work out more. [ laughter ] . daniel has been traveling all over the world to promote this movie. from what i understand, at the airport this afternoon, he ate a bon. a cinna-bonn. if you like that, i got all kinds of great stuff for you. the newest -- some are saying best james bond movie ever premiered in theaters today, it's called "skyfall." it's grittier. there is normally a scene in every movie where q walks james around a room full of exploding cuff links and things like that. thi
and now, first of all, here's jimmy kimmel!t's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. welcome. gracias. that's very kind. thank you for coming. thank you for watching. i'm the host, my name is jimmy. i have a lot -- needless to say, i've got a lot to say tonight, you might not like any of what i have to say, but i'm going to say it, so hear me out, please. you're here on an exciting night. james bond himself, daniel craig is here with us. [ cheers and...
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. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn. david letterman. >> what can i do for you that you haven't been able to do for yourself? >> jimmy: just live with me for a month. >> jimmy at a brooklyn barbershop. >> what do you think of mitt romney's hair? >> i don't like it. >> look at you. >> and music from vampire weekend. >> do you like carrots? >> no! >> you don't? >> an all-new "jimmy kimmel live >>> we're in the williamsburg area of brooklyn, and this is the black and white gallery. inside is something that the locals call art. let's take a look. this is shchantal martin and sh drew all over the walls here. >> thanks for coming down. >> jimmy: thanks for having us. you have a heavy brooklyn accent. >> i know, people keep telling me, what part are you from? and i say, london. i started there and did the line all throughout the gallery. big movement. it's drawing very intuitively, very spontaneously. >> jimmy: the key is a pen. >> the key is the pen. >> jimmy: you can't do this without a pen. >> no. >> jimmy: so, this is spray
. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" from brooklyn. david letterman. >> what can i do for you that you haven't been able to do for yourself? >> jimmy: just live with me for a month. >> jimmy at a brooklyn barbershop. >> what do you think of mitt romney's hair? >> i don't like it. >> look at you. >> and music from vampire weekend. >> do you like carrots? >> no! >> you don't? >> an all-new "jimmy...
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Nov 9, 2012
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an all-new "jimmy kimmel live," >> jimmy: well, hello, everyone, i'm jimmy kimmel. we have a really great show for you tonight. >> jimmy, we need to talk. >> jimmy: now? is it an emergency? >> it's a manmergency, come here guys. >> what is that? is this some kind of intervention? >> no. it's a mantervention. >> jimmy: a mantervention? >> yes. you've not been acting very dude-like lately. >> jimmy: very dude-like? i don't think that's true. >> oh yeah? i found this in your locker. >> jimmy: that's my scrapbook. and that's my lunch. >> you eat baby food for lunch? >> jimmy: yes. to keep me fit and smooth as a baby. >> you have a problem, jimmy. >> jimmy: i disagree. i don't think i have a problem at all. >> here, eat this slim jim. it will bring back your dude-ness. >> that's right. >> jimmy: all right. i'll give it a try. why, guillermo, you're right. i feel more dude-ish already. thank you. >> this xbox will also help. each slim jim comes with a code for in-game content for the latest ea games to maximum your dude-ness. >> jimmy: you knocked my slim jim on the floor!
an all-new "jimmy kimmel live," >> jimmy: well, hello, everyone, i'm jimmy kimmel. we have a really great show for you tonight. >> jimmy, we need to talk. >> jimmy: now? is it an emergency? >> it's a manmergency, come here guys. >> what is that? is this some kind of intervention? >> no. it's a mantervention. >> jimmy: a mantervention? >> yes. you've not been acting very dude-like lately. >> jimmy: very dude-like? i don't think...
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Nov 20, 2012
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and here to help me is "jimmy kimmel live's" own guillermo. >> hi, jimmy the intern. >> jimmy: now we're gonna see if guillermo's jacket, which was laundered with downy unstoppables a few weeks ago, will stay fresh in a not so fresh place. okay, jacket. here we go, pal. here you are. very nice. you got everything you need? >> i have downy unstoppables. >> jimmy: thank heaven. go to it. >> you want to smell me? >> you smell awesome. >> thanks to downy unstoppable. you put in it washer with clothes and you will smell so good. smells great. >> smells really good. >> come here. you want to smell me? smell me. how i smell? how i smell? oh, my god you smell terrible. he here, let me give you downy unstoppable. hold this for me. let me give you -- >> there you have it. downy unstoppables manages to keep clothes smelling fresh in even the smelliest of locations. >> jimmy the intern, i have an extra fish for you. >> jimmy: oh, that's terrific - thank you so much, you're a real pal. >> dicky: show us what you can do in 12 seconds to keep tv fresh with a new dance, act or talent. the winner will ha
and here to help me is "jimmy kimmel live's" own guillermo. >> hi, jimmy the intern. >> jimmy: now we're gonna see if guillermo's jacket, which was laundered with downy unstoppables a few weeks ago, will stay fresh in a not so fresh place. okay, jacket. here we go, pal. here you are. very nice. you got everything you need? >> i have downy unstoppables. >> jimmy: thank heaven. go to it. >> you want to smell me? >> you smell awesome. >> thanks...
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Nov 22, 2012
11/12
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here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, welcome.st of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here on thanksgiving eve. [ cheers and applause ] i want to ask you a question. and i want you to be honest with me. how many of you brought your inlaws here so you could avoid talking to them for an hour? blink twice if the answer is yes. the first thanksgiving feast, i don't know if you know, took place in 1621 when native americans shared their food with the pilgrims who were starving. how much do you think they regret that decision now? when in doubt, don't feed white people. how many of you are cooking a turkey tomorrow? a few? [ applause ] i'm not cooking mine this year. i'm making turkey sushi for everyone. it's l.a., that's what we do. i'm actually going to st. louis for thanksgiving. i'm hungry already. when the food comes out, i eat like the cookie monster. i don't even eat. i just grab the food with my hands and smash it all over my face. most of us will have dinner with our families tomorrow, which can be diff
here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, welcome.st of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here on thanksgiving eve. [ cheers and applause ] i want to ask you a question. and i want you to be honest with me. how many of you brought your inlaws here so you could avoid talking to them for an hour? blink twice if the answer is yes. the first thanksgiving feast, i don't know if you know, took place in 1621...
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Nov 21, 2012
11/12
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and aunt chippy and sal, the icano side. >> i have the kimmel side. >> jimmy: tell me where on the globef the questions i found was fascinating to learn. we have your greatgrandfather, frank kimmel. he was born in 1880 in new york. and he is listed as the son of christian and theresa kimmel. as we big further, we actually found that christian and theresa kimmel didn't marry until 1886, six years after frank's birth. >> get out of here. that's [ bleep ]. doesn't matter. we evoluded over here. >> jimmy: apparently, we came from bastards. >> what we do know further, is christian kimmel wasn't in the united states until 1883. >> jimmy: good. we're not nazis. >> let's look at the other side. >> jimmy: good. aunt chippy is getting bored. >> no, i'm not. >> we're already back to your great, great grandparents. okay? and his mother was her father was a man named federico. and he and his brother, they, for some reason, decided they needed to build a staircase up to their building. and they built this marble staircase. and the problem was, they built it right in the middle of the road. >> that sou
and aunt chippy and sal, the icano side. >> i have the kimmel side. >> jimmy: tell me where on the globef the questions i found was fascinating to learn. we have your greatgrandfather, frank kimmel. he was born in 1880 in new york. and he is listed as the son of christian and theresa kimmel. as we big further, we actually found that christian and theresa kimmel didn't marry until 1886, six years after frank's birth. >> get out of here. that's [ bleep ]. doesn't matter. we...
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Nov 8, 2012
11/12
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here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hola. thank you.elcome. that's very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host, thank you for watching, thank you for coming. to visit. you know, we were -- we were not here last night. we were off last night because of election coverage. in case you hadn't heard, president obama defeated mitt romney last night. we know this for sure despite the fact that the returns from florida still have not been counted. some people had to wait five, six hours to vote there. what goes on in florida? they had four years to fix this and -- four years to fix things before that. [ laughter ] we need to make sure florida never gets the olympics. [ laughter ] the -- [ applause ] got 303 electoral votes to romney's 206. obama led among women and minority voters while romney led among white means and banana republic man ne kips. romney lost his home state of massachusetts. paul ryan lost his home state of wisconsin. i would not want to be paul ryan's shake weight today. probably getting a vigorous. a lot of people are wondering what t
here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hola. thank you.elcome. that's very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host, thank you for watching, thank you for coming. to visit. you know, we were -- we were not here last night. we were off last night because of election coverage. in case you hadn't heard, president obama defeated mitt romney last night. we know this for sure despite the fact that the returns from florida still have not been counted....
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Nov 28, 2012
11/12
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believe me when i tell you, here's jimmy kimmel! >>> thank you for watching. for visiting. it is appreciated. and i just want to say one thing and get it out of the way. as of tonight, as of this minute it is no longer okay to ask people how their thanksgiving was. you missed the cut-off. you can now start asking people what they're planning to do for christmas. what a weird show we have for you tonight. our guests tonight are reba mcentire, mike tyson, the "dancing with the stars" champions, and music from future. it might be a little awkward because it is the first time mike and reba have been in the room together since they broke up. mike tyson is here from his live one-man show called mike tyson, undisputed truthful it is two hours of him saying the words undisputed truth over and over again and it is worth every nickel. before we get to all that, the big finale tonight of "dancing with the stars" all-stars. we did it. we spent dozens and dozens of hours watching rumbas and we should be very ashamed of ourselves. i should mention that even though we have d
believe me when i tell you, here's jimmy kimmel! >>> thank you for watching. for visiting. it is appreciated. and i just want to say one thing and get it out of the way. as of tonight, as of this minute it is no longer okay to ask people how their thanksgiving was. you missed the cut-off. you can now start asking people what they're planning to do for christmas. what a weird show we have for you tonight. our guests tonight are reba mcentire, mike tyson, the "dancing with the...
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Nov 30, 2012
11/12
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and now, more than likely, here's jimmy kimmel! it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. well, that's very nice. welcome. welcome, welcome. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching. thank you for joining me here in california. i'm glad you're here, i'm glad you're alert and attentive. no one is texting, which is nice. that's a rarity. this is kind of interesting. they say for the first time since we started doing it, texting has started to decline. a new report has found that the average number of text messages, cell phone customers in the united states sends has dropped from 700 a month on average to 675 a month. which is still a lot, but -- maybe texting is down because a lot of the people who text and drive are now dead. [ laughter ] or maybe it's just tiger woods isn't texting as much since the whole -- [ laughter ] it makes sense when you think about it. because 20 years ago, everyone sent letters. you would sit down and write a letter. make them a few pages long. because you have to send it. t
and now, more than likely, here's jimmy kimmel! it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. well, that's very nice. welcome. welcome, welcome. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching. thank you for joining me here in california. i'm glad you're here, i'm glad you're alert and attentive. no one is texting, which is nice. that's a rarity. this is kind of interesting. they say for the first time since we started doing it, texting has started to...
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jimmy kimmel's election day prank with hilarious responses, you just have to hear. >>> good morning. it is election day. as you said, finally. >> finally. >> it all comes down to today, after the long, expensive campaign. all the ads. all the attacks. all the polls. all the promises. all the money. all the hype. today, the american people will choose their next president. >> and for weeks, as we've said, it's been an extremely tight race. and with election day 2012 finally here, your voice will be heard and your vote counted. we have correspondents with both campaigns that begin this election morning, with abc's t.j. winick. he's live for us in chicago. good morning, t.j. >> reporter: good morning, rob and paula. well, the president wrapped up his campaign yesterday here in the midwest. and right now, it looks as if a last-minute surge could carry barack obama to four more years. while most of the east coast of the u.s. is still asleep, residents of dixville notch, a tiny town in new hampshire, cost the first votes in the presidential election. after 46 seconds of voting, president b
jimmy kimmel's election day prank with hilarious responses, you just have to hear. >>> good morning. it is election day. as you said, finally. >> finally. >> it all comes down to today, after the long, expensive campaign. all the ads. all the attacks. all the polls. all the promises. all the money. all the hype. today, the american people will choose their next president. >> and for weeks, as we've said, it's been an extremely tight race. and with election day 2012...
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Nov 17, 2012
11/12
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with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" and now, no, he's the man!y kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. welcome. thank you. thank you, everybody. how are you doing? well, that's very nice. hello, brooklyn. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] very happy to be here with you. thank you, thank you. that's very nice. [ cheers and applause ] you're very kind. i appreciate it. but -- i want you to -- i'd like you to be honest with me. how many of you -- how many of you are here for the electricity? [ cheers and applause ] that's what i figured. well, thank you for coming. it's our second night of a week of shows. from the harvey theater at the brooklyn academy of music. i moved away from brooklyn 35 years ago when i was 9. it hasn't changed that much. same vegan bakeries, same toddlers drinking baby chinos in $2,000 strollers. it's really the same place. we had great sandwiches today. where did the sandwiches come from? oh, yeah, the milan deli. that was good. [ applause ] i think -- maybe the best part of being in
with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" and now, no, he's the man!y kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. welcome. thank you. thank you, everybody. how are you doing? well, that's very nice. hello, brooklyn. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] very happy to be here with you. thank you, thank you. that's very nice. [ cheers and applause ] you're very kind. i appreciate it. but -- i want you to -- i'd like you to be honest...
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. >> you can own a piece of jimmy kimmel history. what he's selling to give away for super storm sandy efforts. >> if you're headed to the east bay, traffic heavier than on the other side but traffic flowing well at this >>> jimmy kimmel auctions a piece of his set. >> here is rachel smith with the hollywood report. >> jimmy kimmel supporting abc day of giving by auctioning his desk. all appeared on the show last week. you can place your bid at charity buzz.com. proceeds will benefit american red cross. >> only one day until election, katy perry has chosen her kad, wearing an obama themed dress this weekend supporting president barack obama. and katy isn't the only celebrity encouraging fans to vote tomorrow, lady gaga tweet sod excited to be on the radio to talk about the election and how important it is to vote. rupaul also chimed in saying you better vote. kristin stewart hit the red carpet and told otrc she'd rather have spent the time with her fans. >> i want to take my shoes off and say hi to everyone. >> on the road hits theat
. >> you can own a piece of jimmy kimmel history. what he's selling to give away for super storm sandy efforts. >> if you're headed to the east bay, traffic heavier than on the other side but traffic flowing well at this >>> jimmy kimmel auctions a piece of his set. >> here is rachel smith with the hollywood report. >> jimmy kimmel supporting abc day of giving by auctioning his desk. all appeared on the show last week. you can place your bid at charity buzz.com....
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"jimmy kimmel" next. >>> up next on an all in the "jimmy kimmel live". >> strike two weeks ago, if they would lick
"jimmy kimmel" next. >>> up next on an all in the "jimmy kimmel live". >> strike two weeks ago, if they would lick
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Nov 22, 2012
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jimmy kimmel is next. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> the food comes out on thanksgivingt like the cookie monster. i don't eat, i just grab the food with miss hands and smash it over my fa.
jimmy kimmel is next. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> the food comes out on thanksgivingt like the cookie monster. i don't eat, i just grab the food with miss hands and smash it over my fa.
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Nov 21, 2012
11/12
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jimmy kimmel's coming up next.e tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live." >> here's a black friday shopping tip for you. find out who is spending three days waiting in line for these
jimmy kimmel's coming up next.e tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live." >> here's a black friday shopping tip for you. find out who is spending three days waiting in line for these
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jimmy kimmel. wrote in. we love jimmy kimmel on the show.win. is he still in brooklyn? is he still with us in brooklyn? >> i believe that was just last week. >> back home, jimmy. then also -- snooki, everyone's favorite star. she chimed in -- go team, help the people. they canceled the nyc marathon due to a public uproar. yea. feel accomplished? i do. thank you, snooki, for all of that. but a lot of folks chimed in. i think, you know, there was no right side to the debate. i think they erred -- the timing stunk, but i think they erred on the side of sensitivity to what the area had been through and the devastation and the property and the lives lost, so we'll see. that debate will continue to rage. there it is. >> sad that people had arrived. taken some of the hotel rooms from those that truly needed them because they were evacuated. >> it was messy. >>> all right. so joe simpson, jessica simpson's father, her parents are getting divorced. they announced that, i think, last month. >> 30 years. >> there were rumors, the reason for the divorce
jimmy kimmel. wrote in. we love jimmy kimmel on the show.win. is he still in brooklyn? is he still with us in brooklyn? >> i believe that was just last week. >> back home, jimmy. then also -- snooki, everyone's favorite star. she chimed in -- go team, help the people. they canceled the nyc marathon due to a public uproar. yea. feel accomplished? i do. thank you, snooki, for all of that. but a lot of folks chimed in. i think, you know, there was no right side to the debate. i think...