jimmy kimmel is up next and we'll see you here tomorrow. >> dicky: up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: there's no wrong way to spell it. i think even chewbacca is acceptable. >> dicky: ted danson. >> jimmy: you we're your handsome men's club tie. you got punched by a hooker? >> yeah. >> what did she say? . >> jimmy: i'm jimmy kimmel. please pay close attention to this word from american airlines. >> i'm guillermo. i love to travel on american airlines. their check-in service is the best. they really know how to take care of a big celebrity like me. they make check-in so easy. keep up the good work. >> hello, mr. rodriguez. >> hi, how are you? >> i checked you in and we also have a designated security line. >> you know how to take care of a celebrity. >> we offer this service to all of our celebrities. >> this is for you. i signed it just for you. >> thank you. can i assist you in finding your gate? >> no, it's okay. my personal assistant will take care of that. >> hi. >> enjoy a whole new level of comfort, connectivity and convenience only on american airlines. >> take care o

>> jimmy: it's me, jimmy kimmel. >> oh, jimmy kimmel. jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: how are you?> how are they hanging? >> jimmy: yeah, they're hanging fine. what's going on there? you having a party? >> we are celebrating diwali, our five-day festival of lights. >> happy diwali, jimmy. >> jimmy: happy diwali to you too. i was wondering if you have jokes about justin bieber and selena gomez breaking up. >> oh, yes, most undoubtedly. let me get our number one teller of jokes, roger. >> roger. >> jimmy: he's the best. >> by checking, click in and how -- >> roger, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: roger, it's jimmy kimmel. >> bieber and gomez jokes tonight, hey. >> jimmy: happy diwali to you. we are very ready for jokes. >> why did selena gomez enter a -- end her relationship with justin bieber? >> jimmy: i don't know, why did selena gomez end her relationship with justin bieber? >> because she wasn't ready to have his baby, baby, baby, baby, oh. [ laughter ] >> sweet. sweet. right, just like this. >> jimmy: do you have any others? >> yeah, yeah. >> what did the doctors prescribe for justin b

and now, what more can i say, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for taking time away from -- i hope you had a good weekend. i hope you participated in our third annual national unfriend day on saturday. national unfriend day or nud as we call it, the day on which i encourage anyone with a facebook account go through their list of list of friends and deleted anyone who is not a friend. nud was a huge success. as of today, can i get a drum roll please? the total number of facebook friends is down to 230 billion people. so we win again. those who did participate really seemed to have enjoyed it. you get the same feeling when you organize your closet, you feel as fresh and clean as howie mandel's hands. some people got into nud. a librarian from kansas city, actually threw a national unfriend party from the library and sent this picture of her nud party. you can see it was a raver. the only people who showed up was this kid. alicia said, and i quote, attendance was not what we hoped. but i would a

rethink possible. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" that's the guy who getsork city? [ alarm chirps ] [ male announcer ] 'round here, there's only one word for salsa: pace. made the right way for that big bold kick. grab the southwest by the bottle. >> jimmy: on thursday night, america's tanning beds will ceremonially dim their lights in tribute to our next guests as "jersey shore" ends its six year run on mtv. please say hello to ronnie, sammi, jwoww, deena, pauly, vinny, mike, and snooki the cast of "jersey shore." ♪ >> jimmy: welcome, everybody. this feels like a graduation of kids who never actually went to school. i miss you guys already, i have to say. it's unbelievable. it went by like that, didn't it? >> it really did. >> four years. >> what's ironic is the world is ending and "jersey shore" is ending. >> jimmy: i don't think that's a coincidence. i don't think those are two unrelated incidents. you guys lived together. well, snooki, you had a baby. >> yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: have any of your friends changed the baby? >> changed him? no. >> i cha

. >>> hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. over the past few weeks, we've heard a number of celebrities speak about the helping parents to rock campaign. it's helped countless parents reconnect with their inner rocker. >> that's right, jimmy. it's even helped me rediscover my inner rock star. >> jimmy: you have an inner rock star? >> yes, roll the tape. hi, everybody, it's me, guillermo. i love my new hyundai santa fe. because it's very roomy and it has a lot of great safety features. this is perfect for my family. but it also helps me to rock. let's go, guys. let's rock a mole. oh, this hyundai is really great. ♪ ♪ i was born to rock and i was born to eat ♪ ♪ rock rock ♪ rock a mole ♪ my rock a mole is a real treat ♪ ♪ rock rock ♪ rock a mole ♪ you take some avocados and some spice ♪ ♪ rock rock ♪ rock a mole ♪ add some rock and roll ♪ it's very nice ♪ rock rock ♪ rock a mole >> hey, dude, you have to go pick up my son. >> all right. ♪ rock rock ♪ rock a mole >> yeah! >> dicky: the new santa fe from hyundai. proud sponsor of "

we'll be right back. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series sponsored by bud light. >> jimmy." here with the song "mannequin woman," sarah jaffe. [ applause ] ♪ life like a b-side a medicated verse fall in the frontline and back to middle earth ♪ ♪ mannequin woman can't set myself in motion feel the blood pumping but cannot find a pulse ♪ ♪ oh oh oh i just don't just don't know know know ♪ ♪ just don't just don't know know know just don't ♪ just don't know know know just don't ♪ spent a month to be quiet a few days to be cool my friends were my counselors and they told me what to do ♪ ♪ there's always a point a point of no return always something to give up always something to learn ♪ ♪ send my brain in circles shed my bitter skin still a mannequin woman can't set myself in motion ♪ ♪ oh oh oh i just don't just don't know know know ♪ ♪ just don't just don't know know know just don't ♪ just don't know know know just don't i just don't ♪ just don't know know know turn to stone just don't ♪ just don't know know know turn to stone just don't ♪ ♪ just don't know know know turn to

and now, here's jimmy kimmel! >> cleto: jimmy kimmel live! [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm jimmy. miami the host of the show. thanks to all of you coming out tonight. i appreciate that. i'm glad that you came out. i hope we can laugh a bit tonight after a horrible weekend. and -- i have trouble controlling my emotions but it's weird to do a show with so much sadness. i think the president said what needed to be said last night on television. i think he spoke beautifully. i just want the people in connecticut to know that we do not take what you're going through lightly and we are thinking about you a lot all of us even though we are at a talk show. so my job tonight is to give you a little break from being sad. and i will try my best to do that, all right? so -- you want to see some christmas lights shaped like a penis? we have video here. this is a crist mat light display in brighton england. i don't know how this happened or if it was accidental or intentional. but it would appear that if you stand directly under the lights a very familiar shape appears. i know you are supposed

perfection is in the details. ♪ get to holiday fun faster with pillsbury cookie dough. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmelht. >> jimmy: their album is called "through the glass." making their network television debut with the song "trojans," atlas genius. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ take it off take it in take off all the thoughts of what we've been ♪ ♪ take a look, hesitate take a picture you could never recreate ♪ ♪ write a song make a note for the lump that sits inside your throat ♪ ♪ change the locks change the scene change it all but can't change what we've been ♪ ♪ oh-oh-oh your trojan's in my head oh-oh-oh your trojan's in my head your trojan's in my head ♪ ♪ it's ok if it's gone the thoughts that you had that it was the one ♪ ♪ and oh, what is left for all those times is that what you get ♪ ♪ oh, regardless the walls get painted anyway ♪ ♪ oh, you're guarding the gates but it all got away ♪ ♪ oh-oh-oh your trojan's in my head oh-oh-oh your trojan's in my head ♪ ♪ your trojan's in my head your trojan's in my head ♪ take it off take it in take off all the thoughts of what we've been ♪ ♪ take a look, h

made the right way for that big bold kick. >>> jimmy kimmel concert series sponsored by bud light. al when jimmy's jests will be jennifer aniston, and dr. oz and music from no doubt, brad paisley and bruin in the mars. t. filmmaking is my life. [ guy toe ] clarissa, i've always loved you! [ girl toe ] then prove it, marry me! it's a deal! [ kissing noises ] cut. we got it! that's me. and this is my windows phone. [ male announcer ] new windows phone. reinvented around you. ♪ who have used androgel 1%, there's big news. presenting androgel 1.62%. both are used to treat men with low testosterone. androgel 1.62% is from the makers of the number one prescribed testosterone replacement therapy. it raises your testosterone levels, and... is concentrated, so you could use less gel. and with androgel 1.62%, you can save on your monthly prescription. [ male announcer ] dosing and application sites between these products differ. women and children should avoid contact with application sites. discontinue androgel and call your doctor if you see unexpected signs of early puberty in a child, or,

. >> dicky: up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> thanksgiving is about going home to your family and doing dirty things in your childhood bed. >> dicky: ryan seacrest. >> jimmy: who do you think is the worst judge in the history of "american idol"? >> dicky: erin andrews. and music from soundgarden. >> jimmy: today is what they call cyber monday. >>> i am on a american airlines boeing. it's got a lot of great features. so i can plug all my devices right in. i don't even need an adapter. >> ow. >> it also has entertainment. so i can watch the latest movies, tv shows, and games. hey, i'm trying to watch me here on tv. stupid baby. >> enjoy a whole new level of comfort, connectivity, and convenience, only on american airlines. >> dicky: "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with ryan seacrest, erin andrews, and music from soundgarden. introducing grey goose cherry noir ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ the story telling... the music. the costume design. filmmaking is my life. [ guy toe ] clarissa, i've always loved you! [ girl toe ] then prove it, marry me! it's a deal! [ kissing noises ] cut. we got it! that's

here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wow. thank you. appreciate it.ery nice of you. thank you so much. relax. i'm jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. thank you very much. welcome. i'm jimmy. i was born in bay ridge. i grew up in mill basin. and tonight i have returned to save my people from the storm. [ laughter and applause ] thank you for ignoring the local authorities to be here tonight for our first show from the harvey theater at the brooklyn academy of music. it's a beautiful theater. mayor bloomberg will be here shortly to have you arrested. a lot has changed since i lived in brooklyn. last time i was here, i don't remember a hurricane trying to murder me. we were supposed to start our week of shows last night but we couldn't because of hurricane sandy. anyone want to join a motorcycle gang and take over the streets? after the show. more than 8 million people lost power last night which means no one's watching right now. [ laughter ] new jersey got the worst of it. 60% of the state of new jersey lost power. it's funny when i got he

>> jimmy: i'm jimmy kimmel. american airlines is offering its fleet for a brand-new flying experience. here's guillermo with more. >> hi, guillermo here. i love to fly on an airplane. and the new boeing is the best. the best part is the seats. they lay flat. they're so cozy that i like to bring them with me wherever i go. can i get another drink? can i get another blanket. can i get a coffee? oh, thank you. you do a lot of exercise? hey, when do i eat? pizza. i love pizza. hi. w wow. >> enjoy a whole new level of comfort, connectivity, and convenience only on american airlines. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with leslie mann, ted, and music from sarah jaffe. ♪ i'll be home for christmas, ♪ you can count on me, ♪ i'll be home for christmas, ♪ if only in my dreams. >>> from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, leslie mann, ted, music from sarah jaffe. with cleto and the cletones. and now, oh my golly, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you. thank you very much. i am the host of the show. thank

here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. that's very nice. hola.lo there. thank you. i'm flattered that you're here. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you. honestly, if i knew how to curtesy, i would. thank you for making the long journey from short distances to be here tonight. this is our fourth and final night in brooklyn, but don't worry, we'll be back for the next hurricane. [ laughter ] apparently there's a storm on the way that they say a nor'easter is headed this way and could hit in the middle of next week. that's nuts. we're taking you all back to l.a. with us. enough already. [ cheers and applause ] come with us. open a small batch salt water taffy shop in hollywood. we'll eat it. two storms in two weeks is too much. how much weather can sam champion's hair take? [ laughter ] i feel like this is god's way of punishing us for watching honey boo boo. [ laughter ] you know, for once it would be nice to have a storm that fixes things instead of destroying things. my rv was completely upside down until hurricane ralph blew it right s

and then tell jimmy kimmel to stuff it. a special message from the american fred cross. fred! [ cheers and applause ] what do you have to say for yourself now? >> jimmy: it's unfriend. >> what? >> jimmy: it's unfriend, like national unfriend day, it's -- >> unfriend? >> jimmy: yeah, like on facebook. >> oh. >> jimmy: to get back to unfriend people that they aren't -- >> i feel a bit foolish. >> jimmy: this is the third year we've done this. >> it sounds like a very good idea. >> jimmy: thank you, yeah. nothing to do with fred at all. >> oh, that's a relief. thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: well, thank you. >> do you mind if i hang out in the green room? they have great meat balls back there. >> jimmy: enjoy. stay as long as you like. >> i didn't want to do this. i feel much better about this. >> jimmy: un -- ah -- i had no idea that was going to happen. [ laughter ] in business news, hostess, the company that makes twinkies, wonder bread, that sort of thing, is in big financial trouble right now. hostess filed chapter 11 back in jan

>>> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series sponsored by bud light. nces and other music videos, go to jimmykimmellive.com. >>> can't get enough kimmel? find highlights and more at abc.com. [ male announcer ] it's that time of year again. time for citi price rewind. because your daughter really wants that pink castle thing. and you really don't want to pay more than you have to. only citi price rewind automatically searches for the lowest price. and if it finds one, you get refunded the difference. just use your citi card and register your purchase online. have a super sparkly day! ok. [ male announcer ] now all you need is a magic carriage. citi price rewind. start saving at citi.com/pricerewind. crafted with a touch of whisky, wine, and beer by highly skilled chefs. yep, this is real. double barrel whisky sirloins and new napa chicken & portobellos, starting at $9.99. see you tomorrow. >> jimm >> jimmy: still to come, dan deacon is here. up next, his show "happy endings" was just named one of the top ten shows of 2012, airs tuesday nights at 9:00 her

of "jersey shore" is thursday night at 10:00 on mvp followed by the live reunion >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: his debut album is called "plus" here with his grammy nominated song "the a team" from england ed sheeran. [ applause ] ♪ white lips pale face breathing in snowflakes burnt lungs sour taste ♪ ♪ light's gone day's end struggling to pay rent long nights strange men ♪ ♪ and they say she's in the class a team stuck in her daydream been this way ♪ ♪ since eighteen but lately her face seems slowly sinking ♪ ♪ wasting crumbling like pastries and they scream ♪ ♪ the worst things in life come free to us ♪ ♪ 'cause we're just under the upper hand and go mad for a couple grams ♪ ♪ and she don't wanna go outside tonight ♪ ♪ and in a pipe she flies to the motherland or sells love to another man it's too cold outside ♪ ♪ for angels to fly angels to fly ♪ ♪ ripped gloves raincoat tried to swim and stay afloat ♪ ♪ dry house wet clothes ♪ ♪ loose change bank notes weary-eyed dry throat ♪ ♪ call girl no phone ♪ ♪ and they say she's in the class a team stuck in her daydream been this way ♪ si

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- samuel l. jackson. the cast of "jersey shore." and music from ed sheeran with cleto and the cletones and now, right down santa claus lane here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello, everyone. how are you? thank you. it's very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining me. here in los angeles, home of your favorite stars. it's good to have you here. christmas in hollywood is beautiful, isn't it? it reminds me of switzerland. but instead of snow, we have dirty superheroes. we are in the thick of the holiday season. i believe there are only 371 shopping days until next christmas, and this christmas is even sooner than that. it's only six days away. i do the bulk of my shopping online. mostly because of that mariah carey christmas song. they know there are other songs they can play in public, right? mariah carey must have dirt on whoever owns the mall. when you shop online, a lot of places won't give you boxes. baby gap will give you one box for every three items you

and now, all i know is, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome.i'm the host of the show. thank you very much. thank you for being here tonight. i hope you had a nice thanksgiving weekend. thanksgiving is the day we get together to give thanks for all we have, but most of all, it's about going home to your family and doing dirty things in your childhood bed. it's fun to travel on thanksgiving. a lot of fun. we came home yesterday. the lady at the gate at the st. louis airport wouldn't let us carry on our carry-on bag even though we did it in 80 flights in a row, but that didn't faze here, don't worry bags last, come out first, your bags will wait for you by the time you i get off the plane. as in that has ever happened. to anyone. what did do you for -- guillermo calls it gracias giving. >> guillermo: my mom cooked chicken. >> jimmy: your mother cooked chicken? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: in the past you went to the fast food place and bought chicken. why did you make chick then year, your mom? >> guillermo: we went to chinatown and bought two ch

here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hola. thank you. welcome.t's very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host, thank you for watching, thank you for coming to visit. you know, we were -- we were not here last night. we were off last night because of election coverage. in case you hadn't heard, president obama defeated mitt romney last night. we know this for sure despite the fact that the returns from florida still have not been counted. some people had to wait five, six hours to vote there. what goes on in florida? they had four years to fix this and -- four years to fix things before that. [ laughter ] we need to make sure florida never gets the olympics. [ laughter ] [ applause ] the president got 303 electoral votes to romney's 206. obama led among women and minority voters while romney led among white means and banana republic mannequins. romney lost his home state of massachusetts. paul ryan lost his home state of wisconsin. i would not want to be paul ryan's shake weight today. probably getting a vigorous. a lot of people are wondering what the pre

. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- kelly ripa. >> i feel like you should do the show here always. >> i would like to. >> i feel like -- >> it's pretty awesome. >> a special appearance by chris rock. jimmy's youtube challenge. >> we had lots of candy! >> well done. >> and music from alicia keys. ♪ this girl is on fire >> dicky: from brooklyn, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kelly ripa. music from alicia keys. and a special appearance by chris rock. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, how you doin'? here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. that's very nice. hola. hello there. thank you. i'm flattered that you're here. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you. honestly, if i knew how to curtesy, i would. thank you for making the long journey from short distances to be here tonight. this is our fourth and final night in brooklyn, but don't worry, we'll be back for the next hurricane. [ laughter ] apparently there's a storm on the way that they say a nor'easter is headed this way and could hit in the middle of

>> "jimmy kimmel live" coming up >> "jimmy kimmel live" coming up next >>> ho ho ho, santa jimmy here. i love the holiday season. there's nothing more gratifying than bringing a smile to a child's dirty face. bring in the little angels, will you? come on, in little angels. well, hello little boy, what would you like for christmas? >> i want a bunch of stuff and you better give it to me, i have a list for you, okay? >> oh, boy. >> i want some nikkei none headphones, a power drill, a -- >> a what? >> a deluxe bundle, sport video games, and some cheese balls and the i want them now. >> jimmy: i'm afraid that i see you're on the naughty list so i won't be able to give you any of those things this year. but walmart is america easily gift headquarters so they've got all that stuff on your list covered and more at everyday low prices so i suggest you get off my lap and tell your mommy to take you there, okay? >> no, i'm not getting off till i get a present. >> jimmy: i'll give you whatever you want, stop bouncing. please bring in the present! >> merry christmas! >> jimmy: merry christmas. i

with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live and now, not for nothing here's jimmy kimmel! eers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. well, that's very kind. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming. we are -- [ cheers and applause ] that's very nice, thank you. fine, i'll stay. thank you very much. that's very nice of you. we are live at the harden theater at the brooklyn academy of music -- [ cheers and applause ] i appreciate it. and thank you for taking time away from your food co-op advisory boards to be here tonight. this is our third night here in brooklyn. the weather is getting better. people are becoming more enthusiastic. when i woke up this morning, it was sunny and beautiful. here's the funny thing about the local news in new york. as soon as the weather is nice, the reporters go right back indoors. [ laughter ] i'm happy to be here either way. honestly, i'm just happy to be on the same drinking schedule as kathie lee and hoda. hey, where is my little hoda? oh, there he is. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, guillermo. he's been in that cl

we'll be right back with jason dick the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series sponsored by bud light. >>w cd. "night train." here with the song "take a little ride," jason aldean! ♪ ♪ been goin' 'round and 'round all day balin' some hay and stackin' it all up ♪ ♪ can't wait for the sun to go down roll into town shine the old truck up ♪ ♪ swing by the quick stop grab a couple rocky tops then ease on out your way to your place ♪ ♪ around 8:00 i'm just ready to ride this chevy ride this chevy down ♪ ♪ a little back road slide your pretty little self on over get a little closer ♪ ♪ turn up the radio put your pretty pink toes on the dash lean the seat back ♪ ♪ man i swear there ain't nothin' looks better than that sweet tan ♪ little thing with nothin' to do i wanna take a little ride with you ♪ ♪ i hope you're wearin' those frayed out cutoffs makes me wanna get lost out in the moonlight ♪ ♪ drop the tailgate down on a turn-row watch the corn grow baby that's a good night ♪ ♪ anyone from the heartland is gonna understand what i'm talkin' about right now ♪ ♪ ain't no doubt we got a game plan i'

and now, oh my golly, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you. thank you very much.m the host of the show. thank you for watching. good of you all to be here with us tonight. we have a good show for you tonight. leslie mann is here and she's very sick, so that should be fun. and we have a very talented singer named sarah jaffe, who's making her network television debut tonight. and maybe our tiniest guest ever, ted from the movie "ted" is here. enjoying the open bar. when he drinks, he gets soggy inside. we'll bring him out here. christmas is less than two weeks away. it's coming for us whether we like it or not. i think christmas is the best time of the year to get into a knife fight over a parking spot at target. i do most of my shopping online. but i hire someone to honk and scream obscenities at me while i'm doing it so i get the whole holiday shopping experience. and the neighbors love it. did you know they're celebrating christmas in other countries now? it's true. it's really catching on. this happened at the sunshine aquarium in tokyo, where i guess santa isn

jimmy kimmel right here next. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- jon stewart and stephen colbert.met on j-date? did you know? >> cousin sal's halloween in brooklyn. >> yay, you did it! all right, open your bag. there you go. >> and music from the avett brothers, with the brooklyn philharmonic. ♪ "jimmy kimmel live," coming up next.

. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live." >> tonight i returned to save my people from the storm. >> howard stern. >> i took over the chair in the middle of the show. i'm having a good time. i like it here in brooklyn. it's fun. >> tracy morgan. they are doing that because i probably owe them money. >> and

and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching and thanks for showing up. i tell you something, we were off last week. it's starting to get christmassy around here. the fake wreaths are hanging. the lattes at starbucks are spiced. the holidays are upon us and won't get off us. it's time to start practicing your pretending to like a gift face. christmas is a major operation for me. i buy hundreds of gifts and i buy them all myself. people think i have an assistant. i do but he doesn't do anything for me. he does some things for me, believe me. but he's having a baby. i went to costco this weekend. it was a two-cart weekend for costco. people were asking if i worked there. i move things like i'm one of the employees. leaving costco my truck was packed to tightly i could see out the front and 1/18 out of the window in the back and the truck was almost completely packed with alcohol. it was. something -- if someone had rear ended me i wouldn't h

live. >> i like jimmy kimmel, and the fans. this is pacquiao's seventh appearance on the talk show. >> going to be good. [ applause ] >> now, the last time you were here, you had announced that you had quit drinking. you quit gambling and you quick cock fighting. and then, for the first time in 7 years, you lost the fight. i don't think that you actually lost the fight, but technically they said you lost the fight. will you go back to drinking, gambling and cock fighting? >> no. no. >> no. >> jimmy is a funny guy and just the way he speaks, you will laugh. >> and on this night, the host has a surprise presentation for the viewing audience. >> i like jimmy kimmel, and the fans. i like to go the sunday before the fight. this is pacquiao's seventh appearance on the talk show. >> going to be good. [ applause ] >> now, the last time you were here, you had announced that you had quit drinking. you quit gambling and you quick cock fighting. and then, for the first time in 7 years, you lost the fight. i don't think that you actually lo

jimmy kimmel is up next and we'll see you here tomorrow. >> dicky: up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- no wrong way to spell it. i think even chewbacca is acceptable. >> dicky: ted danson. >> jimmy: you we're your handsome men's club tie. you got punched by a hooker? >> yeah. >> what did she say?

. >>> up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live" live. >> hanukkah ended at sundown.seemed like it went on longer than hobbit. >> hugh jackman, jenna fischer. and 2 chainz. >> my name is jimmy kimmel and you stole the covers off my daughter's prius and you will pay for

jimmy kimmel is next. a great weekend. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> when the food comes out on thanksgiving, i eat like the cookie monster. i don't eat. i just grab the hafood with my hands and smash it all over my face. >> tim allen. >> we had an aunt that would come to the kid's table and say, you know, your uncle george? never touches me. >> manny pacquiao. and "unnecessary censorship."

jimmy kimmel is next and we'll see you here tomorrow. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> i thinkis the best time of the year to get into a knife fight over a parking spot at target. >> dicky:s rel >> dicky: leslie mamn. >> i think you might have the plague. >> are there any plans to make "ted 2"? >> yes, we're basically going to

jimmy kimmel is next. have a safe weekend. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- reba mcentire.een doing? >> might be a little awkward because this is the first time that mike and reba have been in the same room together since they broke up. >> and the winner of "dancing with the stars," melissa rycroft. >> now that "dancing with the stars" is over, i don't know what to watch. when does football come back? it is back? oh, my. i think i might need a

jimmy kimmel is next. we'll see you here tomorrow.mmy kimmel live" -- kelly ripa. >> i feel like you should do the show here always. >> i would like to. >> i feel like -- >> it's pretty awesome. >> a special appearance by chris rock. jimmy's youtube challenge. >> we had lots of candy! that was not fair! >> well done. >> and music from alicia keys. ♪ this girl is on fire

jimmy kimmel is up next.e'll see you here tomorrow. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> the company said if they didn't come to work by thursday, they would liquidate, which actually sounds delicious. >> eric stonestreet. >> stone street sounds drunk onstage. i was like, i was not drunk, i was tipsy. >> do you work on thanksgiving? >> absolutely not. i'm an american! >>

jimmy kimmel, right here, next. >>> tonight on jimmy kimmel live. david letterman. >> what can i do for you? that you haven't been able to do for yourself? >> live with me for a month. >> jimmy at a brooklyn barbershop. >> what do you think of mitt romney's hair? >> i don't like it. >> look at you. >> and music from vampire weekend. >> do you like carrots? >> no. >> you don't?

jimmy kimmel is next. we'll see you here tomorrow. good night. >> dicky: up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> i'm hoping that obama announces this will be the black half of his presidency. >> dicky: john goodman. >> jimmy: have you ever actually emptied a mini bar on your own? >> you bet. >> dicky: hayden panettiere. >> jimmy: i would not want to be paul ryan's shake weight

and in just over two weeks jimmy kimmel moving his time slot from midnight to 11:35 putting him up againstand david letterman. jimmy says the time slot will be the only change. >> i don't know we have a new plan. it's going to be the same show but we're going call things new. and then, maybe people will, who haven't been paying attention will they they're new. >> it moves to 11:pa january 8th here on abc. for hottest entertainment headlines like on the red carpet on facebook, or follow us on twitter. >> and looking more and more like there will be no professional hockey this year talking about going over the edge of a fiscal cliff over the ice and into the abyss. national hockey league wiped hout all games through mid january, now almost half of the season, gone. the owners locked out players, far apart from any sort of meaningful agreement at this point. in 2004, nhl became the only pro sports league to cancel the season because of a labor dispute. can't believe goitsing to happen again. >> when a shame. >> yes. >> still ahead on abc 7 news at 4:00 nation's largest medical marijuana dispe

♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. thank you. i appreciate it.hank you. hello, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for visiting. it is appreciated. and i just want to say one thing and get it out of the way. as of tonight, as of this minute it is no longer okay to ask people how their thanksgiving was. all right? you missed the cut-off. you can now start asking people what they're planning to do for christmas, so -- what a weird show we have for you tonight. our guests tonight are reba mcentire, mike tyson, the "dancing with the stars" champions, and music from future. it might be a little awkward because it is the first time mike and reba have been in the room together since they broke up. [ laughter ] mike tyson is here from his live one-man show called mike tyson, undisputed truth. it's two hours of him saying the words "undisputed truth" over and over again and it's worth every nickel. before we get to all that, the big finale tonight of "dancing with the stars" all-stars. we did it. we spent dozens and doze

. >> dicky: up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: justin bieber and selena gomez have broken uphe was cheating on him with general petraeus. >> dicky: jessica lange. >> jimmy: was king kong nice? he seemed like he was really nice. >> congratulations, everybody, i'm now on a downward spiral. >> baby, baby, baby and call me in the morning.

. >>> up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live" live. >> hanukkah ended at theundown.emed like it went on longer than thobbit. >> hugh jackman, jenna fischer. and 2 chainz. >> my name is