ama: first, what's coming up on jimmy kimmel. jimmy: gaze upon the fruits of our labor.you have a date or a boy you are interested in or something like that, are they nervous? >> they should be. the x-rays from your urgent care visit look good. just stay off that leg, okay? what about my rec team? i'm all they got. next season. thanks doc. wow, he already scheduled my pt. i love doctors who work with athletes. does he know you tripped over a basketball? that's a sports injury. at kaiser permanente, we make getting care easy so you can get back on the court quicker. the bennetts really know how to put their wifi to work. whether it's work work. works for me. school work it worked! or a workout. oh i'm working... they've got xfinity, which delivers wifi faster than a gig for all their devices. it's more than enough to keep everyone working. can your internet do that? this is work! this is hard! learn more about gig-speed wifi, or get started with xfinity internet for $19.99 a month for 12 months. click, call, or visit a store today. dan: for the first time in modern histor

right now on jimmy kimmel, jamie king. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!"pecial appearance by bill murray. plus music from the kid laroi. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. welcome. very nice. thanks. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thanks for watching. thank you for joining us. please relax. i'm happy you're here. i'm kind of happy to see no one's wearing a costume tonight. although there's a guy in a

have a great night right now on jimmy kimmel jimmy kimmel salma hayek.ood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, from marvel studios' "eternals," salma hayek and kumail nanjiani. plus music from bleachers. and now jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. thank you. oh, that's very -- thank you. you know, thank you. hi, welcome. thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. thanks for -- that's very nice. i have to say, you know -- sometimes i feel like we look around at the world, and we see all the negatives. the advancements we make can also move us backwards. the things that are supposed to make our lives better, oftentimes make it w.

right now, jimmy kimmel and martin short.el live." tonight, martin short, jonathan majors and music from walk the moon. and now, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. happy indigenous peoples' or columbus day, depending on which cable news channel you watch. it's weird to celebrate these on the same day. it's like celebrating herpes on

dan: here is a look at what is coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live. jimmy: thank you.go to sleep now, i will be sad. will you denounce the queen? go ahead. that's right. [laughter] >> no. no, i won't. dan: if federal judge blocked enforcement of texas's controversial law tonight and the state immediately repealed the ruling. the law went into effect september 1 after the court refused to block it. it bans physicians from providing abortions once they detect a so-called fetal heartbeat at six weeks. he wrote that this court will not sanction one more day of this offensive deprivation of such an important right. ama: after frances haugen no words on capitol hill yesterday, the lawyer of the facebook whistleblower told the washington post there's more to come. the statement comes as much of the information that he obtained during her time at the company has yet to be made public, particularly facebook's role in the january 6 insurrection. he is accusing the company of purposefully selling division to keep users engaged in systematically choosing profit over the safety of

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you, thank you.ody. that's very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us. i hope that those of you watching at home are safe and sound as a storm pounds the northeastern united states, threatening halloween celebrations this weekend, particularly in new england, where they are alrea

have a great night right now on jimmy kimmel jimmy kimmel salma hayek. good night. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" "eternals," salma hayek and kumail nanjiani. plus music from bleachers. and now jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. thank you. oh, that's very -- thank you. you know, thank you. hi, welcome. thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. thanks for -- that's very nice. i have to say, you know -- sometimes i feel like we look around at the world, and we see all the negatives. the advancements we make can also move us backwards. the things that are supposed to make our lives better, oftentimes make it worse. but it's also important to acknowledge and appreciate the marvels that come from the human mind. these ideas, i mean -- we're on television right now. there are miracles that happen around us every day. yesterday, we saw an elderly actor who played captain kirk get launched into actual space. [ laughter ] and we're all just like, "yeah, okay, whatever

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, thank you. hi, welcome.hank you very much. that's very nice. too much already. [ cheers and applause ] i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. on a day that will -- well, it won't exactly live in infamy. but today is a debatably notable day. today is the anniversary of something everyone has used and almost no one knows anything about. today is the anniversary of -- well, not the text messages. today is the anniversary of the typing awareness indicator. [ laughter ] the official name for the three little dots that come up when someone is composing a response to your text. do you like those things? no, nobody does. they're a torture device. like if i text a friend, "we still on for lunch?" i send it. i wait. the dots appear. they start bouncing around. and then half the time, they just go away. with no response. which makes me crazy. [ laughter ] what does that mean? why would they write something and then not send it? are they checking in with someone they'd rather

right now on jimmy kimmel. james bond >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- daniel craig, eric wareheim, and music from x ambassadors. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wow. thank you. hi, everybody. very nice. thank you. welcome. i appreciate it. thanks. hi. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us on an exciting night here in los angeles. a night of dodger baseball. about six miles or really just a two-hour drive from here. [ laughter ] the dodgers are playing the cardinals in the national league wild card game. despite the fact they have the second-best record in all of baseball, they won 106 games, which is a lot, they're in a one game, winner moves on, loser goes home series with the cardinals, who won 16 fewer games than they. can you believe that? >> guillermo: that's crazy. >> jimmy: just wanted to see if you're awake. [ laughter ] did you watch the game last night? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: last night the red sox beat their hated rivals, new york yankees, at fenway pa

have >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, john stamos. l.a.k. and music from alice merton. and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. very nice of you. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for masking up and spreading out to be here in our studio. in hollywood. in california, which, according to our governor, will be the first state to mandate covid vaccinatio

right now, jimmy kimmel. have a good night. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jeremy renner and olivia rodrigo. and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you. thank you. thank you very much. hi, everyone. very nice. welcome. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. i knew i could count on you. thank you. i appreciate it. i'm glad you're excited. we have a good show for you tonight. with jeremy renner and olivia rodrigo are here with us. [ cheering ] following game one of the world series, between the atlanta braves and the houston astros. who are you rooting for, guillermo? >> guillermo: none of them, jimmy. the dodgers. >> jimmy: the dodgers aren't in it any more. you don't have any preference either way. >> guillermo: i don't like none of them. houston are cheaters and the braves eliminated the dodgers. none of them. >> jimmy: maybe this will help you decide. >> was looking at the mascots for the teams. on the left, you have the astros mascot "orbit," and on right, it's "blooper" for the atlanta braves' inexplicable mascot. by the way

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, thank you. hi, welcome.[ cheers and applause ] i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. on a day that will -- well, it won't exactly live in infamy. but today is a debatably notable day.

and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. we are back to work. thank you for braving the elements to be with us on a rare day of rain here in southern california. this morning, everyone in l.a. went in the closet and found their one and only waterproof jacket. it's so funny when it rains here. my favorite thing is seeing how my co-workers dress. usually everyone is in jeans, maybe a button down shirt. but the second there's a drizzle, everyone shows up dressed like the gorton's fisherman. you know we had an earthquake yesterday at 7:00 a.m. it measured a magnitude of 3.6. for those of who are not familiar with what that means, i also have no idea. no one does. i didn't even feel it. >> i didn't feel it either. >> jimmy: were you in bed when it happened? >> i woke up around 8:00 or something. >> jimmy: they should start measuring earthquakes by how many people post about them on social media. "did you feel that 2 million tweeter last night?" but the rain, even though the earth itself shook under our bac

and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. to work. thank you for braving the elements to be with us on a rare day of rain here in southern california. this morning, everyone in l.a.

right now on jimmy kimmel, ringo starr. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!"ringo starr -- simone biles -- and music from the doobie brothers. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. thank you. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i'm glad you're in a good mood, because i tell you what, you picked a fun one to be at. we have a legendary lineup for you tonight. a ringo starr-studded show. [ cheers and applause ] one of the beatles, ringo starr, is here. to save us. and we have americ

ama: plus, what is coming up on jimmy kimmel live. jimmy, i know you are sleepy, but i need you.ittle did we know that in 1991, said don't call it a comeback, i've been here for years, you would still be here in another 30 years. [applause] that's crazy, right? the classic hollywood story. we meet the hero, the all-new nissan frontier. hero faces seemingly impossible challenge. ♪ tension builds... ♪ the plot twist. ♪ the hero prevails. in hollywood, this would be the end. but our here, we are just getting started. introducing the all-new nissan frontier. i am robert strickler. i've been involved in communications in the media. for 45 years. i've been taking prevagen on a regular basis for at least eight years. for me, the greatest benefit over the years has been that prevagen seems to help me recall things and also think more clearly. and i enthusiastically reco. it has helpemen ful e clearly. prevagen. healthier brain. better life. dan: a big boost from the governor for bars and restaurants, to go cocktails and drinking parking is here to stay. it is part of building a better ba

and now, jimmy kimmel!one, thank you. ♪ thank you, i appreciate it. hi, welcome. thanks, fellas. very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] we are coming to you from our home in los angeles where the spirits are very high right now after a glorious night for dodgers fans last night. [ cheers and applause ] and a terrible one for st. louis.

right now on jimmy kimmel, ringo starr. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- ringo starr -- simone biles -- and music from the doobie brothers. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. thank you. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i'm glad you're in a good mood, because i tell you what, you picked a fun one to be at. we have a legendary lineup for you tonight. a ringo starr-studded show. [ cheers and applause ] one of the beatles, ringo starr, is here. to save us. and we have american royalty in the building tonight, too. olympic gold medalist simone biles. [ cheers and applause ] and the doobie brothers with tom johnston and michael mcdonald. [ cheers and applause ] i'll tell you something. personally, cleto and i have been looking forward to this since we were 12 years old. [ laughter ] since we wore socks pulled all the way up to our knees. we get two songs from the doobies tonight. what a night. what a magical time of year this is. the smell of pumpkin spice is ever

tonight -- billie eilish -- and zach galifianakis -- and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. very nice. hi, everybody. i appreciate that, thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. i'm glad you're watching. thank you for joining us here tonight in hollywood, california, on another billionaire blast-off day. did you see the launch this morning? this morning in texas. blue origin, the company founded by jeff bezos, prime-delivered their second group of civilian passengers into space and back today. and guess who's in that rocket? t.j. hooker himself, william shatner. he is now the oldest person ever to go to space. he's 90 years old. which you don't launch a 90-year-old man into space. [ laughter ] his testicles are probably mid-leg already, put 5 gs on those, they could kill everyone on board. that's how kenny rogers died. but he made it back alive. tank god. can you imagine if jeff bezos killed captain kirk? [ laughter ] and then turned to camera and started speaking klingon? i wouldn't be the least bit shocked. >> musicians on board,

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. appreciate it. welcome.nk you. guillermo, that's very nice. thanks. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching from home. thank you for joining us here in hollywood, california on what was a very busy day in washington. we woke up this morning on the verge of a government shutdown. did you know

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thanks very much. thank you.w. i thank you for watching at home. thank you for joining us here. i'm glad you survived the elements last night. boy, i tell you something, you guys know. the unthinkable happened last night here in los angeles. it rained. [ laughter ] rain came down, damnedest th

right now on jimmy kimmel, jamie king. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- regina king. lenny clarke. and a special appearance by bill murray. plus music from the kid laroi. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. welcome. very nice. thanks. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thanks for watching. thank you for joining us. please relax. i'm happy you're here. i'm kind of happy to see no one's wearing a costume tonight. although there's a guy in a gold gym tank top that may be in companies towel, i'm not sure. [ cheers ] this is that magical time of year when adults who have no business being in costume get in costume. i am not a halloween kind of guy. you know, i carry myself with a quiet dignity. [ laughter ] like a young sidney poitier. but there are some men, 60-year-old men, who apparently cannot resist. and one of those men is the mayor of new york. bill deblasio got the holiday off to an early start by boldly going where no politician belongs. >> now i'm switching to another important topic, halloween is alm

>> jimmy: it would be a dumb joke. >> i thought, i'm never doing that show again, kimmel's done, yeahe actual dinner. then you didn't come to that. [ laughter ] >> i got it up once, you know? couldn't go the second time. >> jimmy: you made the effort, yeah. >> you know what, do me a favor. >> jimmy: yes? >> try it again. >> jimmy: okay. >> try it again. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] >> because i never have people to my house. never. >> jimmy: do you -- >> you're not getting invited to my house. >> jimmy: no, i don't expect to be invited. i will, i would love to try it again. are you forgetful? do you often mess up -- >> i don't write anything down. i think i'm smart enough to retain it in my head. oh, dinner with jimmy on monday, okay. all right, it's in my head, i've noted it in my head. but -- you know. it doesn't work out that way. >> jimmy: right, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> god forbid you forget a doctor's appointment. which happens. >> jimmy: you do that? yeah. >> yeah, they hate it. >> jimmy: they don't like it. >> oh, the doctor. oh, oh, the doctor's precious time! is wasted! [ laught

jimmy kimmel rami malek. have a good night. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"!rom old dominion. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thanks very much. thank you. i'm jimmy, i am the host of the show. i thank you for watching at home. thank you for joining us here. i'm glad you survived the elements last night. boy, i tell you something, you guys know. the unthinkable happened last night here in los angeles. it rained. [ laughter ] rain came down, damnedest thing. we were all looking at each

>> jimmy: jimmy kimmel. >> oh for pete's sake, kimble. it's not bad enough you ruined "paw patrol" for me, now you're ruining my nap time. great! i'm tryin' to sleep one off over here, you fruit bat! >> jimmy: i'm sorry about that. i wanted to talk about the buccaneers beating the patriots last night. i would imagine that had to be hard for you. >> hard? that had to be hard you say? it was a friggin' rollercoaster! i went through all the stages of grief! first one bein' denial. "there's no way that traitor will show his face in foxborough ever again! then came stage two, anger. [ bleep ] you tommy! how dare you come back here with a florida pirate on your helmet. like some kind of swashbucklin' boner eater! go pats! pats forever! i hope we snap your [ bleep ] spine! >> jimmy: that seems a little harsh for your hero. you're named after him. >> fair point. it was a little out of hand. and that's where the next stage came in. bargaining. "please god, let touchdown tommy have a change of heart, and switch to a pats jersey halftime like he's m.

have a great night right now on jimmy kimmel jimmy kimmel salma hayek. good night.

>> jimmy kimmel.s like i need to pay closer attention to what's going on that to these important people. >> then you wouldn't be on tv. >> i know! >> name as many nobel prize winners as you can or as many strains of pot as you can. >> einstein. i'll say marie curie, possibly. and -- i don't know. i guess obama won one a couple of years ago. >> ding ding ding! that was a surprise twist. way to go. [ applause ] >> jimmy: nobody's going to get a nobel prize for this. this is from sarasota, florida. they have a mask mandate for students. they want the kids to wear masks, which doesn't seem like much to ask, during a pandemic. but it upset some parents so much, they decided to stage a protest outside the chairwoman of the school board's house. >> i see you in there, shirley, we want you to come out for a redress of grievances. we know the next step is from mask to vaccine, and this will not happen. this is the line we will die on. >> that's right! no to vaccines! no to vax! >> jimmy: okay. says a guy who i

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello. thank you. welcome, welcome.thanks. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] we are back to work. thank you for braving the elements to be with us on a rare day of rain here in southern california. this morning, everyone in l.a. went in the closet and found their one and only waterproof jacket.

you started a group called "jimmy kimmel is bringing sexy back to late night." [ laughter and applause it has one member, and that member is you! >> jimmy: i made that as a joke a long time ago, that was -- >> okay, this went up in 2019, so -- >> jimmy: oh. it seemed like a long -- anyway, that doesn't matter. i thought facebook was intended to be a way to keep up with the people you care about. and it's become something else. >> you're exactly right, that's exactly what it's for. for instance, we know that you really care about someone named stacy robowski? >> jimmy: oh yeah, that's a girl i had a crush on in high school. >> okay, yeah, that would explain why you were looking at her profile last night at 2:00 a.m. [ audience moans ] >> jimmy: that must be a glitch in your system or something, i wasn't doing that. >> a glitch. one of those middle-of-the-night, your-wife-is-sleeping why not poke an ex glitch? >> that wasn't a glitch, she doesn't want anything to do with me -- >> but i can understand why you'd be confused based on your location data. i can see here that on sunday, you we

-networking. [ beer cracks open ] [ reggaeton music starts playing ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel livey: all right. this is in my hands is their new album. it's called "surrender." here with the song "on my knees," rufus du sol! [ cheers and applause ] p ♪ ♪ looks like there's rain up ahead like there's a crack in the heavens ♪ ♪ feels like my day could be turning like i can tell that my luck's gonna change ♪ ♪ if you could see me now i'd probably let you down but that's enough for me you got me beggin' baby ♪ ♪ looks like i'm on my knees again feels like the walls are closing in ♪ ♪ looks like i'm on my knees again ♪ ♪ looks like the tables have turned like there's a change in the weather ♪ ♪ feels like my time is returning like i'm about to get out of this cage ♪ ♪ if you could see me now i'd probably let you down but that's enough for me you got me beggin' baby ♪ ♪ looks like i'm on my knees again feels like the walls are closing in ♪ ♪ looks like i'm on my knees again ♪ ♪ ♪ looks like i'm on my knees again looks like i'm on my knees again ♪ ♪ looks like i'm on my knees again looks

right now, o >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- ll cool j -- nick robinson -- and music from tems. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. thank you. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thank you for coming. very nice. thanks for watching as we are -- [ cheers and applause ] thanks for being here. we are at our headquarters here in hollywood where it's both pumpkin spice and flu season. [ laughter ] not a coincidence. every year -- it seems like flu season comes earlier every year. my neighbors already put their flu decorations up for two weeks now. [ laughter ] dr. fauci says americans should get their flu shots as soon as possible. and we always listen to what he says, so listen to what he says. you know, i was thinking about it and for years, people have just been getting the flu shot. it wasn't a big deal. and i think that's because we call it the flu shot, not the flu vaccine, even though it is vaccine -- [ laughter ] "vaccine" sounds controversial now. whereas shot just sounds like something you

liberty. ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. ila and therapy." it comes out on friday. here with the song "i was on a boat that day," old dominion! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i remember it like it was yesterday 'cause it was i was letting this sun ♪ ♪ and the rum just do what it does i threw my phone in the water ♪ ♪ little push off the dock she was packing her bags i was poppin' a top ♪ ♪ is she gone for the summer gone for the night gone for the weekend or the rest of my life ♪ ♪ was she laughing was she crying as she walked away i can't say ♪ ♪ i was on a boat that day the river was rolling i was getting my float on she was telling me so long ♪ ♪ i was already so long gone yeah she could have been halfway to houston ♪ ♪ but i didn't care i was drunk as a skunk eating lunch with a cross eyed bear ♪ ♪ you've been there she was looking for something better than me ♪ ♪ i was looking for nothing just riding the breeze is she gone for the summer ♪ ♪ gone for the night gone for the weekend or the rest of my life was she laughing ♪

introducing the all-new nissan frontier. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented song "can you handle my love," walk the moon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i woke up this morning ♪ ♪ and my vitals were low my eyes were red from crying ♪ ♪ i was up until four turned up the sound of silence ♪ ♪ lying dead on the floor it's just the way that i am i'm a mess ♪ ♪ and it's literal got a hole in my heart gonna fill it ♪ ♪ with chemicals so i drove to my cousin's i was feeling like -- ♪ ♪ until i walked through the door and then my energy flipped ♪ ♪ another day in paradise i'm high with my friends it's what i did last night ♪ ♪ i think i'll do it again it's just the way that i am i'm a freak ♪ ♪ and it's literal what you got got a hole in my heart ♪ ♪ gonna fill it with chemicals it's just the way ♪ ♪ that i am not trying to be difficult i got a crush on you ♪ ♪ and you handle my love then take a chance ♪ ♪ with my love so can you handle my love then close your eyes ♪ ♪ roll the dice take a chance with my chance with my love ♪ ♪ all the possibilities get me feeling kinda

tonight -- billie eilish -- and zach galifianakis -- and now, jimmy kimmel! y. i appreciate that, thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. i'm glad you're watching. thank you for joining us here tonight in hollywood, california, on another billionaire blast-off day. did you see the launch this morning? this morning in texas. blue origin, the company founded by jeff bezos, prime-delivered their second group of civilian passengers into space an

complete care for your sensitive skin. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented the sadness out of saturday night." here with the song "91," bleachers! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ it's '91 a war is on i watch in black white and green my mother dances around ♪ ♪ like there ain't no rip in the seam while she waltzes with ♪ ♪ ghosts i can feel what went wrong she's here ♪ ♪ but she's not just like her i'm not home ♪ ♪ just like her i'm not home ♪ ♪ just like her i'm not home ♪ ♪ i'm here but i'm not ♪ ♪ but i'm here but i'm not ♪ ♪ storefronts change a new war on ♪ ♪ so i rip floorboards from our place black out all our windows ♪ ♪ then i kick them from their frames now you can dance ♪ ♪ with anyone tattoo yourself a [ muted ] sleeve ♪ ♪ and you're here but you're not just like you ♪ ♪ i can't leave just like you i can't leave ♪ ♪ just like you i can't leave and i'm here ♪ ♪ when i'm not i'm here when i've been gone just a little too long now ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ someone new walks along and steals the weight from your war ♪ ♪ flickers of light and you're sure that you have be

right now, jimmy kimmel.ave a good night. making monthly mortgage payments... doing the right thing... it's become your family's heart and soul... well, that investment can give you tax- free cash just when you need it. of course you can use it to pay some bills, cover medical costs, update or repair your home, but best of all, it eliminates those monthly mortgage payments so you get more cash in your pocket every month. learn how homeowners are strategically using a reverse mortgage loan to cover expenses, pay for healthcare, preserve retirement savings, and more! look, reverse mortgages aren't gonna work for everyone but, if you're looking for some extra cash, for whatever reason, your home's equity just might be the right solution. why don't you give aag a call i trust 'em you can too. trust aag for the best reverse mortgage solutions. call now! >>> a massive fire in southern new jersey destroyed an auto

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone, thank you. ♪ thank you, i appreciate it. hi, welcome. thanks, fellas. very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] we are coming to you from our home in los angeles where the spirits are very high right now after a glorious night for dodgers fans last night. [ cheers and applause ] and a terrible one for st. louis. if you didn't watch it, the dodgers prevailed in one of the most exciting wild card finishes ever. a walk-off home run with two outs in the bottom of the ninth, the whole thing. and it's funny because you think of baseball along with hot dogs and apple pie -- a very old-timey american sport. but the game last night, if you thought it was exciting in english, wait until you hear it in russian, korean, and japanese. [ speaking foreign language ] [ speaking foreign language ] [ speaking foreign language ] >> jimmy: take that, soccer! [ cheers and applause ] that's fun. the best

. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- charlize theron. and music from elvis costello and juanes. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. appreciate it. welcome. thank you, hi. cleto, thank you. guillermo, that's very nice. thanks. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching from home. thank you for joining us here in hollywood, california on what was a very busy day in washington. we woke up this morning on the verge of a government shutdown. did you know that? >> guillermo: i didn't know that. >> jimmy: of course you didn't know. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: i swear. >> jimmy: you had no idea? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: maybe i should skip the whole damn thing, then. [ laughter ] the government was going to run out of money at midnight tonight. but enough members of congress got their act together to pass a "stop-gap" funding bill that will keep things going until december 3rd, which just happens to be ozzy osbourne's birthday. coincidence? yes! it is a coincidence. [ laughter and applause ] and then i gu

right now, jimmy kimmel and martin short. have a good evening. do you have a life insurance policy you no longer need? now you can sell your policy, even a term policy, for an immediate cash payment. we thought we had planned carefully for our retirement. but we quickly realized that we needed a way to supplement our income. if you have one hundred thousand dollars or more of life insurance you may qualify to sell your policy. don't cancel or let your policy lapse without finding out what it's worth. visit conventrydirect.com to find out if you policy qualifies. or call the number on your screen. coventry direct, redefining insurance.

♪ba da ba ba ba♪ >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. e falling on her petals so fine ♪ ♪ at first when i found you all covered in the dew the stars had all faded the day was brand new ♪ ♪ daisy red daisy growing on a hill sunshine falling on her petals so fine ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ when the skies are gloomy and you're covered in the frost daisy red daisy i fear my soul is lost ♪ ♪ daisy red daisy growing on a hill sunshine falling on her petals so fine ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ queen of the springtime my body's getting old winter winds might bind me ♪ ♪ but i'll keep you from the cold ♪ ♪ daisy red daisy growing on a hi sunshlling oner ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ one day a passing traveler plucked you from the ground oh how i'll miss you and your crimson crown ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. the bennetts really know how to put their wifi to work. whether it's work work. works for me. school work it worked! or a workout. oh i'm working... they've got xfinity, which delivers wifi faster th

dan: here's a look at what is coming up and jimmy kimmel live right at -- after abc 7 news. >> we havehow tonight, i might get sick. are you in the antman movie? >> i'm not at liberty to talk about it. >> i understand. >> but we can talk about it when i.e. dinner. ♪ the bennetts really know how to put their wifi to work. whether it's work work. works for me. school work it worked! or a workout. oh i'm working... they've got xfinity, which delivers wifi faster than a gig for all their devices. it's more than enough to keep everyone working. can your internet do that? this is work! this is hard! learn more about gig-speed wifi, or get started with xfinity internet for $19.99 a month for 12 months. click, call, or visit a store today. dan: tonight, and emotional update to evacuate some of its team members from afghanistan. ama: another family is safely out of the country and on their way home to northern california. dan: cheryl jennings has cover the organization for years and has this update from delhi, qatar. repoer: this was the late-night scene at the airport in doha, qatar, afghan fa

dan: here is a look at what is coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live. jimmy: thank you. if you go to sleep now, i will be sad. will you denounce the queen? go ahead. that's right. [laughter] >> no. no, i won't. who doesn't like more? and i mean, like, a lot more. well, with xfinity you get more for your money. because with xfinity internet you get a free flex 4k streaming box and peacock premium included, with access to tons of free movies and shows. more bang for your buck. can your internet do that? like your outfit, girl. why thank you! ok, now it's a party! get started with xfinity internet for $19.99 a month for 12 months and add a flex 4k streaming box for free. click, call, or visit a store today. dan: if federal judge blocked enforcement of texas's controversial law tonight and the state immediately repealed the ruling. the law went into effect september 1 after the court refused to block it. it bans physicians from providing abortions once they detect a so-called fetal heartbeat at six weeks. he wrote that this court will not sanction one more day of this offens

>> sean: before we go, failed late-night host jimmy kimmel his ratingss do suck. with yours truly for accurately calling out the never-ending struggle joe biden. so jimmy, obviously your memory is short. you're desperate for attention. pick a fight with hannity because you know i'm going to hit you back i'm going to hit you back ten times harder. i am up for a fight any day. anyway, biden did abandoned americans in afghanistan, jimmy. are you upset about it? he created a massive self-inflicted super-spreader disaster of the border. do you care about health? inflation in this country is going to the roof. supply chains are strained throughout the country. biden abandoned energy independence. now he is begging opec to produce more oil. here is your biggest problem. i'm going to give you unsolicited career advice. you're not funny anymore. your ratings suck because of it. maybe if you stopped being so political, higher better writers. every once in a while when people are chanting f joe bidene you might want to run it. if you want to have this fight okay. buckle up.

. >> here is what is coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live. >> thanks. i have been blasting my quads getting ready for this. >> my mom doesn't like the spotlight. absolutely nailed it. >> my family, i have to work on them. in business, setbacks change everything. so get comcast business internet and add securityedge. it helps keep your network safe by scanning for threats every 10 minutes. and unlike some cybersecurity options, this helps protect every connected device. yours, your employees' and even your customers'. so you can stay ahead. get started with a great offer and ask how you can add comcast business securityedge. plus for a limited time, ask how to get a $500 prepaid card when you upgrade. call today. >> for the first time, investigators publicly answered questions about the fatal shooting on the set of a movie starring alec baldwin. >> the possibility of criminal charges is on the table as the investigation continues. rena roy has the latest. >> an intricate investigation underway on the movie set in santa fe, new mexico. authorities collect

dan: >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"!and music from walk the moon. and now, jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. that's very nice. i appreciate it. hi, everybody. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i want to wish happy indigenous people's or columbus day, depending on which cable news channel you watch. [ laughter ] it's weird to celebrate these on the same day.

. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!"music from phoebe bridgers. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. thank you very much. that's very nice. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] hi, everybody. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. on a -- i wonder if you know about this because today is a day that -- it won't necessarily live in infamy but it's a day -- a debatably notable day. today is the anniversary, something