comedian joe mackey. [applause] >> greg: her play-by-play will make your day.>> greg: nothing to him is off limits except maybe a barber. comedian and author, that joke isn't funny any more. lou -- [applause] >> greg: and finally, i think he once sold me a set of encyclopedias. fox news contributor tom -- [applause] >> greg: joe, excellent choice of outerwear. that's a classic members only jacket, is it not? >> it is, greg. they don't just sell these to anyone. you have to be pretty hot, cool and relevant. >> greg: you actually have to be a member to own that? >> they won't just sell to it anyone. >> greg: no, they won't. i want to read you a question that was written for me by one of the writers. joe, do you think if media matters tried to cancel you, maybe one or two people might come to your shows? [laughter] >> greg: di not write that. >> if they do cancel me, greg, i hope that they mention in the article that i'm performing at the st. louis funny bone november 24 through november 26. [applause] >> greg: but i tell you what, media matters is following the s

this man needs to introduction because nobody cares, comedian joe mackey. the word can't is not in his dictionary, neither is smart, talented, or likable. host of "one nation." ryan kilby. >> she is thinner than paint and makes grandfathers faint, cat sims. and only asteroids have a bigger belt, "new york times" best selling author and former world title champion, tyrus. joe, you got a feel for the media, man. it is really hard to cover this, right? it is like now they got to blame the jews and call them nazis when they were busy calling everybody else nazis. >> they have egg all over their face if is sad to see but i want to go back to that poster quick, greg. people tear down my comedy show posters because they don't want the tickets to sell out before they have a chance to buy them. they hide the hostage posters because this generation is so entitled they can't handle the proof of being wrong. it is sad and it is a tough time to be in new york city for the last few weeks. a bunch of self righteous idiots were blocking the streets for hours and that was j

he's a one-man show but not by choice, comedian joe mackey.ide job is reading off the pharmaceutical side effects in commercials. crime podcast, emily -- [applause] >> greg: he's from jersey so most of the talking tonight will be done by his hands, actor-comedian vince august. [applause] >> greg: she's like a thanksgiving turkey, about 20 pounds and extremely dry. "new york times" best-selling author and fox news contributor, kat. >> greg: all right. before we get to some new stories let's do this. >> greg's leftovers. >> greg: make an analogy. it's leftovers write read the jokes we didn't use this week and as always it's my first time reading these. so if they suck we'll season joe mackey with salt and pepper and feed him to a grizzly bear. why not? >> greg: all right. this week in d.c., thieves try to break into the car of joe biden's granddaughter prompting an enaged biden to say where do they keep finding these granddaughters? [laughter] >> greg: tim scott has dropped out of the 2024 presidential race to help raise awareness that he was in

you know, it's like when joe mackey says he ate at a food truck and it turn s hes outanand it turn to be an ice cream truck. this amplified universe of lazy feeds off one bowl of outrage. cablf e. and because fox is its target, we've kept more clowns employed than barnum and bailey. fnc might as well cut checks to these polyps directly. it's kept. brian stelter floating in a seak of twinkies and the daily beastk from going back to their old jobs making lattes. >> seir d o what did media matters dothis this time? well, according to the lawsuit ,first media matters went on xna and followed a small subset of users from one of two categories. those who post from o fringe contentg name and big name advertisers. then they kept the hand-selected feed until it got the result that it wante dent ne controversial content. next two paid posts from x'sxtt largest advertisers. then they took screenshots of. it claimed it was organic and published an article about itd an. and this quickly panicked the cowardly advertisers, including ibm, disney, warner bros. and paramount. and so they fled like when

joe mackey. charles paid cash tip, tires. it's going to be great. hey, let's do this great snack time news. >> you ever get really hungry late at night? you just can't figure out where the food is. well, check out this bear who went into this guy's car and the guy comes out, and apparently the bear was looking for some m&ms because he's a big fan of chocolate, which is bad for his complexion . and the dude goes, check out his car. and what does he find in that car completely destroyed by the bear. >> yeah, torn apart his entire interior. >> wow. i know. >> and you know what? you don't have insurance for that. there's no insurance. yeah, the insurance company is like if you did something wrong and, you know, the bear doesn't have insurance, so he's not going to sue him. >> can't sue him. and jessica. okay. i have some pictures from life. so it was thanksgiving, as you know. this is clio as a little turkey and jesse will be showing jesse jr is a little turkey champ. >> yeah, sure. next show. next show. and we were down in florida for the thanksgiving

emily compagno, comedian and judge kat timpf, joe mackey it's all-star night. hey, let's do., you are going to wonder how the hell is he doing it? i was the same thing. he is not holding on to anything. he is not leaning on anything. he's just standing. roll it ♪ >> look at that. >> he looks like a kangaroo. he is watching lupin one of the characters has a dog. >> looks like he has a pair of pants on. >> greg: watching. i have never seen a dog stand up naturally. i think i'm going to walk down the street. >> judge jeanine: i have seen dogs to do that walk with a colr and walk on with it legs. >> greg: that's amazing. >> judge jeanine: check out this dam cute video. i didn't say -- come to a halt. took his time dragging a huge branch across the road. the beaver must live in a pretty big house or has expensive taste with branch like that. and traffic was held up for a long time. see him there. he is just dragging that branch along. a dam beaver. all right. jessica? >> jessica: okay. miss universe 2023 is underway in el salvador if you didn't know. national cohen costume contest

comedian joe mackey.rs and applause] >> greg: he's killed more fish than british petroleum, chef and restaurant owner andrew -- [cheers and applause] >> greg: she's like a rubric cube. difficult to figure out and adored by nerds. fox news contributor, guess who? [applause] >> greg: and "new york times" best-selling author, former nba world champion, tyus. [applause] >> greg: joe, it's amazing. i know i make fun of you, you do have wash boards abs, we just can't see them. you're modest. you cover it up with body stuff. >> why are you looking at me like that? >> greg, those insults are more off the mark than megan rapino's penalty kick. son of a gun i would take my shirt off if it would wax my hair. but i tell you this i'm so conservative that i use that to win body building contests. instead of flexing, i'm like, if you get caught doing graffiti we cut your arms off and donate those to the arms list. [laughter] >> but i'll say this. you make a good point that the attributes that make someone who is really

we got joe mackey.nobody told me he'd be on i catching pirates.t ti >> thimps is going to be a grea0 show. >> oh, harold, you want to squeeze something in there in 20 seconds? chris gaines, kid out of tampa, never played baseball, decides n to play when they pitch hitmp natirun tournament in tampa ana then go to the regionals. >> and then he won the national thw can never really deliver for 12 years. 12 years. bravo, you go, boy. >> look at that birth certificate. i don't know. he doesn't look 12. that's a great night, everybodya

we got joe mackey. oh, brian kilmeade. >> nobody told me he'd be on i catching pirates.t ti >> thimps is going to be a grea0 show. >> oh, harold, you want to squeeze something in there in 20 seconds? chris gaines, kid out of tampa, never played baseball, decides n to play when they pitch hitmp natirun tournament in tampa ana then go to the regionals. >> and then he won the national thw can never really deliver for 12 years. 12 years. bravo, you go, boy. >> look at that birth certificate. i don't know. he doesn't look 12. that's a great night, everybodye . >> see what is prime time tonight? rs it's monday. my name is blond, but yes, it is. but that's not what you told me, man. but who are you? >> election day in america who. >> we're catching the fraudsters. >> whoa! >>ump's maniac! judge disrobed. this is the place where our black and brown staff members repeatedly speak of experiencing racism and sexism, islamophobias edly>p will be you get pushed off the elevator, the squad explore voting, plus involv

jokes we did news this week and as always it's my first time reading these so they well season joe mackeywas salt and pepper and feed him to a grizzly bear sd o why not?t? >> all right. this week in dc, thieves tois week in dc, thieves to break into the car of joe bca biden's granddaughter, r prom prompting an enraged biden to say where they keep findinptg d granddaughters. tim scott has dropped out of the 2024 presidential race to help raise that. >> he was in the 2024 presidential race. >> megan rapinoe says her career injury is proof that god doesn't exist. when reached for comment, god replied, who through t god does not watch women'sru soccer? soccer who does that mean? even satan won't watch that. new york mayor eric adams off two drone like helicopters he hailed as the future of travel in the big apple. anetravel in the big apple. already filled the aircrafts with stale, not the fresh. stale more expensive in preparation for, h presid president biden's summit with president xi. san francisco erected a wall for security enhancements, which makents, ws it the first joe has seen in de

we haven't seen numbers this low since they tested joe mackey's testosterone.so why does no one give a to fight for uncle sam? well, woke marketing, for starters, prioritizing identity politics and equity over lethality are messages that fail to connect the all that you can didn't use to mean a dude with . >> and for some strange young men aren't attracted by free breast implants and signed copies of white fragility. plus, who wants to spend time in a foxhole arguing with your platoon mates over pronouns? but only time will tell of america's dwindling military will become a bigger issue. and speaking of bigger, given our epidemic of obesity, our enemies simply thwart an invasion with stairs. >> charles, you were the air force, correct? yeah. yeah. do you think this has more to do with just modern technology making recruits less, less important? and we kind of sense that. >> no, it's a lot more than that. a lot more. i mean, listen, go back to the roman empire at the end, the demise, they were using mercenaries. i mean, how the hell do you take over the whole wo