from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: hey, welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight, author jodi kantor. she's author of "the obamas" which is about the obamas. we do have a big show for you tonight. you're probably wondering why i'm wearing a bejeweled crown. long story short. i came into a little bit of money. ( applause ) on thursday.... >> colbert has just announced he will explore running for president. and stewart will oversee his political action committee. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: it's not about the money, money, money. except it really is. i'm now running colbert's super pac and the vast fortune that that entails but here's the problem. i don't know what to do with the money, and stephen colbert by law cannot coordinate with me. >> i can't tell americans for a better tomorrow tomorrow what to do. it's not my super pac, george. it's the super pac of-- i hope i'm pronouncing this correctly-- jon stew-air. i believ

i'll do it. ( cheers and applause ) and that is how jon stewart got meningitis. stephen, i await further non-instructional public statements. through the television. we'll be right back after this. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back to the show. we've been discussing here how long it takes to get frittata out of one's eye. turns out you can't just blink that (beep) away. hello, peppers and onions. now everyone knows this year's election is is about bringing jobs back to this country. now the question is, how do we do it? >> i will go to work to get america back to work by making america once again the most attractive place in the world for job creators. >> we're 20% more expensive to do business in america for manufacturers. >> steve jobs and what he innovated and people like him, we need to be giving them the incentive to be on shore doing that and not driving them off with tax policy and regulatory policy. >> jon: you don't want to drive 'em off. you want to bring 'em in. what we need is a tax and regulatory policy that gets steve jobs back to america.

- this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. big show tonight. big show tonight. big show tonight. sorry one quick second. sorry i'm just writing something very important down. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] big show tonight. yeah (bleep) i'm kick it old school. pen and paper. big show tonight the judge, the most infectious laugh in tell vismtion has the steakhouse, the hearty full -- you feel the cream spinach and porterhouse flecks coming at you. i love it. big new tonight new hampshire. primary. obviously without a time machine we don't have the full results. even with a time machine i wouldn't have the full results either because i would be too busy stopping hitler. you heard me hitler. i'm coming for you hitler. hitler! [cheers and applause] anyway we do have some results preliminary, i guess from the traditional midnight vote in the new hampshire town of dixville notch because april parentally letting pe

plus overt your eyes if you don't want to see a celebrity chef feeding jon stewart mouth to mouth. come on. believe it or not, they're making a point about super pacs here. that clip i'm afraid to say coming your way later in the show. first let's get to the news live at 5:30 a.m. here at 30 rock in new york city. with jon huntsman officially dropping out of the race on monday, the republican presidential field is down to five in a race that may come down to when or not anyone can stop mitt romney in south carolina. according to the latest "washington post"/abc news national poll, romney tops the republican field with 35% support. newt gingrich and ron paul follow. 18 points behind romney. that's a 13 point drop for gingrich just in the past month. rick santorum has seen his numbers jump ten points from december. he's at 13%. a public policy poll in south carolina has mitt romney at 24%, up just five on newt gingrich. santorum in third in that poll in the state of south carolina at 14%. with romney far out front fashionly and leading slightly in south carolina, the field teed off o

you believe that, jon stewart, don't you. >> jon: you don't know i believe it but now that you say it i weirdly want to hug you. freedom watch. it's the judge andrew napolitano. [cheers and applause]

you believe that, jon stewart don't you. >> jon: you don't know i believe it but now that you say itthe judge andrew napolitano. [cheers and applause] i'm really glad we took this last minute trip! you booked our room right? not yet, thanks for reminding me. wait, what? i have the hotels.com app so we can get a great deal even at the last minute. ah, well played sir. get the app. hotels.com. [cheers and applause] >> jon: that's our show. here it is your moment of zen. >> i hope mitt romney can count on your support on tuesday and together we can get our country working again. thank you for your captioning sponsored by comedy central [cheering and applause] >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to "the report." thank you [audience chanting "stephen"] come on. really? i tell you folks, i couldn't have seen that coming. [laughter] thank you for joining us, everybody. nation huge night. the new hampshire primary is finally here. now, i don't know who won. normally i broadcast live at 11:30, but once again i am taping my show at 7:00 sacrificing reporting the results of the

i am sitting here with jon stewart. >> jon: but don't worry, we're not coordinating.ughter) >> okay. good. that's good. >> >> jon: trevor, i don't know if i'm doing the right thing. can i tell stephen what i've done with it? >> yes. but remember, stephen cannot request, subject, or assess to any of the superpac's activity. >> got it. so just speak up if we cross the line. >> will do. >> jon: last weekend i bought five 60-second ad lots on channel a wcsc. >> charles on the's news leader. >> jon: (gasps) okay. the airtime costs $3600 and in it i accuse mitt romney of being a serial killer. (laughter) is that okay, stephen? >> i cannot coordinate with you in any way. (laughter). >> jon: all right moving on. last night the superpac that supports you but which i control independently ran another ad in south carolina at a total production cost of $15,000 equating with a vote for herman cain with a vote for stephen colbert. any thoughts on that, stephen? >> i cannot coordinate with you in any way. (laughter) and i haven't seen the ad but when i watched it, i thought that the

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to the daily show, ladies and gentlemen. my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. our guest tonight is lou dobbs from fox business news network will be joining us. i want to say something very quickly. very unusual for us to do this. there's a gentleman in the audience tonight. he has a message for his parents that i think he was afraid to deliver to them in person. he wanted me to deliver it. to sean's parents-- and i'm not going to use his last name-- he wants you, mom and dad, to know something. he's... sean is a canadian. ( applause ) do not ridicule. he's become friendly with what appears to be four other canadians. together, i believe, they think they're going to form a province. i don't know. apparently the guy wrote a master's dissertation on the daily show. he just wanted his parents to know he's not a loser. but i've got to tell you, i don't know, i don't know. ( cheers and applause ) seriously he wrote his dissertat

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart! you're very kind. how many people get this when they go to work, really? i don't even get this when i go home. i need to have somebody go and warm up my family for when i get home. when i get home "dad!" my guest tonight, jonah hill. friends... friends-- and i say that not really being able to see who's watching-- friend, it's that time of year again. holiday magic. the twinning of lights, the nothing of eggs and, of course, anger and bitter disappointment. >> rhode island governor lincoln chafee coming under fire after refusing to call the tree in the rhode island statehouse a christmas tree. >> jon: he insists people call it the devil's pine! (laughter) satan's spruce! a tree bortion. (laughter) it's fox's war on christmas! it's back, baby. and this year's designated krooj, rhode island governor and part time steve doocy impersonator... (laughter). lincoln chafee

jon stewart, everybody. (cheers and applause) jon stewart. thank you so much for being here. trevor, jon, jon, trevor. thank you. jon, thank you so much for being here, jon, let me ask you, are you here to offer to take over colbert superpac. >> jon: i'm not even going to diminish-- i won't offer, i'm honored. i would be honored, but i can-- if i may. can we do this, because you and i are also business partners. >> stephen: yes. >> jon: we're about to open up that combination bagel shop. >> stephen: and travel agency. >> jon: yes, from shmear to eternity. so i don't know-- . >> stephen: is that a problem, trevor, is being business partners a problem? >> being business partners does not count as coordination legally. >> stephen: great. >> jon: all right, well-- that's pretty good. >> stephen: yes. >> jon: i assume there's reams of complicated paperwork to be executed before we transfer the reigns of power with something as critical to our very foundation of democracy as a superpac. >> stephen: trevor? >> i brought the one document with me. >> stephen: good man. >> jon: that's

have you seen jon stewart? >> what does he look like? nt head, tiny bo. so sorry. please carry on. >> so anyway -- ♪ >> it's over, jon. you don't have to give to me, jon. i'm going to take it from you. super pac! >> wow. it just keeps getting more bizarre. our thank to the daily show oig for pretty much letting us use their entire show in that clip. still ahead, why are and you wake? fro your frantic tweets and texts are next. energy in america. we've got to protect the environment. the economists make some good points. we need safer energy. [announcer:] who's right? they all are. visit powerincooperation.com. i'm going to own my own restaurant. i want to be a volunteer firefighter. when i grow up, i want to write a novel. i want to go on a road trip. when i grow up, i'm going to go there. i want to fix up old houses. [ female announcer ] at aarp we believe you're never done growing. i want to fall in love again. [ female announcer ] discover what's next in your life. get this free travel bag when you join at aarp.org/jointoday. nature va

we'll bat all that around with our "morning joe" crew in a few minutes. >>> and we'll watch jon stewartd stephen colbert having more good times with that super pac of theirs. it seems like for every anti-aging problem, there's a different cream. i challenge that with olay. i've found one cream with everything i'm looking for... olay total effects. with 7 age defying effects in just one, easy to use cream. i've swapped to all-in-one total effects. why don't you swap too? ♪ [ female announcer ] if whole grain isn't the first ingredient in your breakfast cereal, what is? now, in every box of general mills big g cereal, there's more whole grain than any other ingredient. that's why it's listed first on the side. from honey nut cheerios to cinnamon toast crunch to lucky charms, get more whole grain than any other ingredient... without question. just look for the white check. trouble with a car insurance claim. [ dennis ] switch to allstate. their claim service is so good, now it's guaranteed. [ foreman ] so i can trust 'em. unlike randy. dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like allstate.

definitely not coordinating with stephen colbert superpac run by my shadowy friend jon stewart ran this ad in south carolina. >> the people of south carolina are frustrated. it's less than a week before the election and there's still no candidate for us. plus, the economy. thankfully, there is one name on the ballot that stands for true american values. herman cain. americans for a better tomorrow tomorrow believe a vote for herman cain is a vote for america. he's not a career politician, he's such a washington outsider he's not even running for president. send them a message. on january 21, vote herman cain. (cheers and applause)

i love when o'reilly faces off with jon stewart. to admit on some lyrics, kanye's lyrics are not favor to believe women or the police. why would the white house open itself up to criticism. >> if you vet your rappers do it more thoroughly. >> greg: you vet your rappers. >> kimberly: i do. whether they rhyme well. >> bob: standing up for jon stewart. he met his match. >> eric: good stuff. roll the third one, guys. >> tonight, i can report to the american people and to the world that the united states has conducted an operation that kills usama bin laden, the leader of al-qaeda and the terrorist responsible for murder of thousands of innocent men, women, and children. >> eric: go ahead, robert. >> kimberly: that's how i felt. >> bob: every american was proud. it wasn't just barack obama. the guys that got bin laden. and give the bush administration credit. they did a lot. but let me just say this, i think that obama deserves credit for making the final call, which was a tough call. "a," they weren't sure he was absolutely there. >> er

>> jon stewart. >> oh, jon stewart. >> anyone? >> well, i think he's quite brilliant. and i think you're right. he tries -- i think he tries to be fair. and people have been so deluged with -- hmmm, ideology, that comes at them in the form of news and comes at them in the form of opinion and one thing or the other and it's simply dishonest and what you get from jon stewart is a sense he's an engaged, interested, intelligent american who is very worried about what's going on in this country and let's it be known. he's also very if any. >> part of his effectiveness is satire. that it is always easier to take your politics when you're laughing than when you have talking heads coming at you in an angry manner. and that the other thing about stewart -- i think one of the reasons he's popular is he's willing to poke fun at the left as well as the right, at the democrats as well as the republicans. he will call a fool a fool. and all he has to do is show you the videotape that, you know -- the best things he does, no, i don't believe in this. i never have and then he showed y

stephen colbert and his pal, jon stewart. colbert has just announced he will explore running for president. and stewart will oversee his political action committee. but their real target, all the big money they say is taking over american elections. here's abc's jon karl. >> reporter: even over lunch at lizard's thicket restaurant in columbia, south carolina, you can't get away from them. most of the nasty political ads in south carolina are not being run by the campaigns. but by a brand-new force in politics, outside groups called super pacs. now, into the fray, a new candidate with his own super pac, comedian stephen colbert. >> i am forming an exploratory committee to lay the groundwork for my possible candidacy for the president of the united states of south carolina. i'm doing it. drop them, jimmy. >> reporter: but behind the jokes are a serious point. super pacs don't have to follow the rules. where candidates can only accept donations of $2,500 per person, super pacs can accept millions from anybody, thanks to the supre

it's the super pac of jon stewart. i believe it's a soft "t." but, listen, if that's not accurate, i hope they take it down. i don't know if mitt romney is a serial killer. that's a question that he'll have to answer. that sounds like it's superstar jon lithgow voicing that. he played a serial killer on "dexter." i do not want any untrue ads on the air. that could in any way be traced back to me. >> we got some questions from viewers on facebook. matthew topper wants to know, who will your vp know? >> you're pushing me into being a candidate. but i'm putting together my exploratory committee. will you be on my exploratory committee? >> no, i can't. >> why not? >> but who are you looking for at vice president? >> george, i certainly -- i'm looking at myself right now. you know, i read the "new york times" last week that there are three stephen colberts, one of those other two, might be possible candidate. i was born in washington, d.c., which isn't a state all around. i got it covered. >> the second question from facebook comes from sharon smith

5th, 2012, from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: hey, welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. our guest tonight, craig shirley. author craig shirley, author of the new book december 1941, best-seller, november 1941. let's begin tonight with the president, the executive branch of this united states government. in recent weeks, months there have been expansions of executive power that many have found troubling. but perhaps lacked the hyperbolic vocabulary to properly condemn, your prayers have been answered. >> republicans call it an unprecedented power grab. >> it what intemporate, arrogance and irresponsible. >> arrogance of power, abuse of power. >> who cares what the law says who cares what the rules are, i'm the president. >> jon: finally, elected officials in our punditoctober crassee standing up against i'm assuming the recent kodd fiing of indefinite detension of americans or perhaps the unrestricted and secret

i love when o'reilly faces off with jon stewart. to admit on some lyrics, kanye's lyrics are not favor to believe women or the police. why would the white house open itself up to criticism. >> if you vet your rappers do it more thoroughly. >> greg: you vet your rappers. >> kimberly: i do. whether they rhyme well. >> bob: standing up for jon stewart. he met his match. >> eric: good stuff. roll the third one, guys. >> tonight, i can report to the american people and to the world that the united states has conducted an operation that kills usama bin laden, the leader of al-qaeda and the terrorist responsible for murder of thousands of innocent men, women, and children. >> eric: go ahead, robert. >> kimberly: that's how i felt. >> bob: every american was proud. it wasn't just barack obama. the guys that got bin laden. and give the bush administration credit. they did a lot. but let me just say this, i think that obama deserves credit for making the final call, which was a tough call. "a," they weren't sure he was absolutely there. >> er

this, jon, they-- do not look away, stewart, you need to see this look at it! look, directly at it! is right here, this is how the sausage doesn't get made. >> jon: all right, look t takes alot of effort. >> yeah t does take a lot of effort, jon. you turn your back on this for 1 second and who knows what could happen. a program that works to educate young people emerges. or a bridge gets built to somewhere. and you say that these people don't work, shame on you, stewart. shame on them and shame on you. >> jon: but what if we used that same level of effort to help fix or ameliorate the problems our country faces. >> yeah, i guess you could do that too but this is the direct no show from the go-in. so either way, either way. >> jon: thank you very much, john, john ♪ he was a 21st century global nomad ♪ ♪ home was an airport lounge and an ipad ♪ ♪ made sure his credit score did not go bad ♪ ♪ with a free-credit-score-dot-com ♪ ♪ app that he had ♪ downloaded it in the himalayas ♪ ♪ while meditating like a true playa ♪ ♪ now when he's surfing down in chile'a ♪ ♪ he can see when his score

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. (cheers and captioning sponsored by comedy central . >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart! yes, we're back, baby, so nice to see you. i hope you had a nice new year's. our guest tonight, the no longer round mound of rebound, sir charles barkley. i saw him backstage, he looks unbelievable. (applause) he looks unbelievable. i want to start by saying charles barkley's new year's resolution should be to let himself go because he looks tremendous. obviously i know that tonight you're excited to hear the results of today's iowa caucus. i do not know them. (laughter) because i am broadcasting to you from the past. (laughter) in my world, it is 6:00 p.m., january 3. but i can tell you what i do know. the republican presidential race and the conservative voters' desperate effort to explore every other possible option-- living or otherwise-- before ultimately and unhappily voting for mitt romney. (laughter) the rite of passage for republican voters known as romspringa. (l

15th, 2011, from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. oh, we got one for you tonight, one matthew damon will be joining us on the program tonight, a well-known actor. (applause) >> jon: first let's begin on the campaign trail with indecision 2012, the great white hope. as you know, republicans are working overtime to keep themselves from having to spend next fall with a mitt romney sign on their lawn. they'll do anything to avoid that honey, they stole our romney sign. no, that was me, i just put it away. (laughter) voters have test-driven everybody from bachmann to perry in increased desperation. over the first vote finally in sight, it appears that the ride may have arrived. the form of a white 1994 chevy capricious. >> we are just weeks away from the iowa caucuses and newt gingrich has risen to the top. >> according to one new national poll, "the wall street journal" poll puts gingrich ahead by 17%. >> very hard not

folks, i am hurt that jon stewart's superpac attacked me. but i defend their right to do so. in fact, i have defended it to the supreme court justice john paul stevens. a giant of american jurisprudence, the author of the defending opinions in both bush v gore and citizened united, the decision that lead to the formation of superpacs. i recently outlegalled justice stephens in my washington office. >> justice stephens-- stevens thank you for talking to me today. >> happy to be here. >> stephen: su have been serving on the court nonstop i believe since 1995. >> as you may know i am actually retired. >> sooree, what. >> i'm a retired justice. >> stephen: can we gets one of the real supreme court guys. i don't care if they are in session. just get me one of them, they got like five of them, nine? >> they're very busy. >> stephen: so no i can't have anyone else. okay. sorry about that. thank you so much. okay so, you retired from the court in-- sorry, when. >> a year ago june. >> stephen: what part of lifetime appointment don't you get, sir. you are supposed to go your entire lif

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. our guest tonight is health and human services secretary kathleen sebelius. we're going to ask her about health. and human services. human services. sounds not good for people. it's a cook book. all right. we begin, of course, with the republican presidential race. we checked in last week. when we did it seemed like romney had this thing pretty sewn up. >> most of the polls have romney ahead in south carolina. >> romney has a huge lead in florida right now. >> mitt romney is the juggernaut at this point. >> jon: he is a juggernaut. he can only be defeated if you remove his helmet. anybody? so we were already planning out all our puns for romney through the general election. for romney's convention speech. for when questions were raised about romney's business background. if romney's religion becomes an issue. ( cheers and applause

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewartment we've got a good one for you tonight. thank you. our guest tonight, oh, you're going to like, this our gust tonight, you're going to like, this new new york "the time of s column nest joe nocera. we're going to yell and throw things. i've been hearing about this sopa, sopa. sopa this, sopa that. i'm like, i don't know what you're talking about. then it hit me. there's an easy way to find out, the old laptop. [laughter] so i'll just look it up. >> wikipedia, of course, one of the most popular sites online. it's blacked out today for 24 hours. wikipedia and others are going dark. [laughter] [cheering and applause] >> jon: mahurin. mama. >> wikipedia's gone dark. what do they expect us to do, go to the library? like a common masturbator. what is this, 2009? but i had to find out about sopa. and with wikipedia down, i had no choice but to tur

26sth, 2012, from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york this is daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. got a nice show for you tonight. the star of the new film "we need to talk about kevin" and obviously next week in the interest of fairness, we'll bring on kevin. we need to talk about his new film, really? really? we've been talking a lot about these past few weeks about the president and congress. there's a third and equal branch of government, the judicial branch which by now must be feeling somewhat ignored. that changed tonight with our brand-new segment a love supreme. (cheers and applause) sorry. we didn't forget about you supreme court baby. why don't you change into something more comfortable. actually, you wear robes, i mean, yeah. i guess you could make the public more plush but you probably just wearing a snuggie. any way, the point is this. the supreme court has been hearing some new cases, let's check in. >> the u.s. supreme court is now considering a