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"jimmy kimmel live" is next. have a great night, america. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> i met oprah yesterday. she tweeted a picture of us, too. her elbow turned my ear into gold. >> eric stonestreet. >> i've had personalized license plates, that said fizzbo, the clown. >> that's like driving a mary kay car. >> "sports illustrated" swimsuit model, kate upton. >> should never wear a[@[@[@[@[@ >> jimmy: hi. i'm jimmy kimmel, with the new "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue. you can see it just about everywhere. on si.com, on the ipad, iphone, smartphones. more than 70 million people see this magazine every year. and so, we sent guillermo to the red carpet party in las vegas to get as close to the excitement as humanly possible. >> hi. it's me, guillermo. i'm here at club si swimsuit in las vegas. let's talk to some models. wow. you -- you smell beautiful. this is natural? you smell like this? >> all-natural. >> wow. i didn't want to tell her. but she smells like cheese. you have the most beaut

"jimmy kimmel live" is next. have a great night, america. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> i met oprah yesterday. she tweeted a picture of us, too. her elbow turned my ear into gold. >> eric stonestreet. >> i've had personalized license plates, that said fizzbo, the clown. >> that's like driving a mary kay car. >> "sports illustrated" swimsuit model, kate upton. ♪ [ male announcer ] for our families... our neighbors... and our communities... america's beverage companies have created a wide range of new choices. developing smaller portion sizes and more low- & no-calorie beverages... adding clear calorie labels so you know exctly what you're choosing... and in schools, replacing full-calorie soft drinks with lower-calorie options. with more choices and fewer calories, america's beverage companie are delivering. >> jimmy: hi. i'm jimmy kimmel, with the new "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue. you can see it just about everywhere. on si.com, on the ipad, iphone, smartphones. more than 70 million p

"jimmy kimmel live" is next. have a great night, america. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> i met oprah yesterday. she tweeted a picture of us, too. her elbow turned my ear into gold. >> eric stonestreet. >> i've had personalized license plates, that said fizzbo, the clown. >> that's like driving a mary kay car. >> "sports illustrated" swimsuit model, kate upton. >> "sports illustrated" swimsuit model, kate upton. >> should never wea today my journey continues across the golden state, >> "sports illustrated" swimsuit model, kate upton. >> should never wea where everyone has been unbelievably nice. mornin'. i guess i'm helping them save hundreds on car insurance. it probably also doesn hurt that i'm a world-famous advertising icon. cheers! i mean, who wouldn't want a piece of that? geico. ah... fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent oh dear... or more on car insurance. >> jimmy: hi. i'm jimmy kimmel, with the new "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue. you can see it just about everywhere. o

and now, stay with me, here's jimmy kimmel. ♪ "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers andpplause ] >> jimmy: yeah. thank you. hi, there. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming. thank you for encouraging me to do this and to stand up here in front of you, smiling and laughing, with makeup on and wearing a suit and tie that don't even belong to me. [ laughter ] is everyone feeling okay? everyone all right? [ cheers and applause ] anyone here have the flu? see? that's why it spreads. nobody's honest about it. [ laughter ] flu season has officially begun. so, don't forget to spray a bunch of zinc up your nose for no reason. how many people here have had a flu shot? huh? how many have had a jell-o shot? [ cheers and applause ] combine those. apparently the flu is late this year. for a while, it seemed like the flu season might be canceled this year. but the hosts and viruses worked out a revenue-sharing deal. and it's here. unfortunately for us in california, this is a map from weather.com, that shows flu outbre

jimmy kimmel's next. good night, america. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> how many people here have had a flu shot? huh? how many have had a jell-o shot? [ cheers and applause ] >> chris pine. >> i'm sitting here with chris pine. >> yes. i love him. >> well, guess what? he loves you, too. >> he does? >> khloe kardashian odom. and music from puscifer. >> you're married? >> yeah >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- chris pine. khloe kardashian odom. and music from puscifer. with cleto and the cletones. and now, stay with me, here's jimmy kimmel. ♪ "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. thank you. hi, there. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming. thank you for encouraging me to do this and to stand up here in front of you, smiling and laughing, with makeup on and wearing a suit and tie that don't even belong to me. [ laughter ] is everyone feeling okay

i'm jimmy kimmel. if you don't mind, i'm about to have an online meeting with the help of gotomeeting. gotomeeting lets you share documents and makes you available with h.d. video conferencing with just one click, right from your computer, which i'll do right now. let me get my business partner, adam carolla. hi, adam. >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: and now, let me get another adam also. hi, other adam. >> what's up, jimmy? >> jimmy: well, i wanted to talk to you guys because i'm thinking of painting my office upstairs. here. i'm sending you a color choices document. what color do you guys think sets a professional tone for me? >> i like taupe. i don't think you can do better than taupe. >> taupe? who paints his office taupe? >> a genius, you idiot. what's wrong with taupe? >> taupe is the color of artificial limbs. jimmy, you want your office to look like a prosthetic leg? >> jimmy: no. not really. >> then, paint it eggshell. >> eggshell? you think eggshell is better than taupe? >> yes, it's better than tau

jimmy kimmel is up next. stay tuned for that. and have a great weekend. >>> tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> here we are with a recap of tonight's "jersey shore." please welcome gary oldman. >> dancing in the club, snooki accidentally pees on herself. >> tim and eric. >> when you show this to an audience, what kind of response do you get? >> 25% walkout rate. >> and music from korn. >> this time around, the super bowl isn't just for heterosexuals. madonna is doing the halftime show this year. >> jimmy: hi. i'm jimmy kimmel. with my pal, guillermo, with a word about belvita breakfast biscuits. maybe it's time we try something new for breakfast. >> why, jimmy? i love to eat my diabeteos. >> and i movely colonel fatso's. but belvita gives you energy for the whole morning. let's give them a try, shall we? what did you say? >> i said, wow. light, sweet, crunchy. and i taste the wholesome ingredients. >> jimmy: why, yes, guillermo. you do. [ laughter ] >> belvita breakfast biscuits are very, very good. good-bye, cookies and doughnu

i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about clorox. have you ever had a moment you wish you could bleach away? well, clorox is having a contest for sharing your most bleachable moments with the panel of bleaching and laundry experts. here, with a slightly exaggerated re-enactment of a real situation we found on the website. here are the "jimmy kimmel live" players, guillermo, and my aunt chippy. >> dear, clorox. my baby and i were standing at line in a grocery store. my baby was becoming impatient and started moving his cup up and down. the lady behind me in line was an innocent bystander, who ended up with cherry juice splattered on her shirt. it was all over the checkout lane and magazines. i apologized to the lady. but then, the old bag dumped her yogurt on my baby. so, i shot her in the face with whipped cream. then, my baby threw some salt on her and punched her in the stomach. oh, it was some mess. anyway, thank goodness i can bleach it away. >> dicky: win $25,000. go to bleachitaway.com and share your bleachable moment. "jimmy k

jimmy kimmel's next. we'll see you tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> here we are with a recap of tonight's "jersey shore." please welcome gary oldman. >> dancing in the club, snooki accidentally peas on herself. >> tim and eric. >> when you show this to an audience, what kind of response do you get? >> 25% walkout rate. >> and music from korn. >> this time around, the super bowl isn't just for nenenenenene >> jimmy: hi. i'm jimmy kimmel. along with guillermo, and his chihuahuas. and a word about the bud light hotel. it's in downtown indianapolis through the big game. are you taking pepe and paco to the game, guillermo? >> no. paco and i like soccer. pepe likes bowling. >> jimmy: well, the bud light hotel has some other fun stuff, too. >> like bud light? >> jimmy: si. like bud light. >> what else? >> jimmy: well, the bud light hotel is hosting a special concert, featuring 50 cent, li'l jon and pitbull the night before the big game. our viewers will be able to watch those perform

jimmy kimmel's next. good night, america. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> 15% of american women gave themselves flowers today. and 85% of american men gave themselves sex today. >> john goodman. >> kevin nealon. >> happy vol valentine's day, sexy. i love you, grandma. >> and music from robin thicke. >> jimmy: hi. i'm jimmy kimmel, with wipeout 2, the sequel to the video game that lets you and your family play america's craziest gameshow inside your house. a couple days ago, our pal, guillermo, joined 16 fans in downtown l.a. to compete in the $50,000 wipeout 2 challenge tournament sponsored by act act vision, against joel, a former contestant on "wipeout." and this time, joel was up to the task. >> dicky: wipeout 2 is in stores >> hi. it's me, guillermo. we're going to play some video games. ♪ >> come on, guillermo. come on. >> wipeout's never been so much fun. i feel like i'm really running the course. >> i'm killing you, guillermo. >> you're going down. you're going down. did i win?

jimmy kimmel's next. we'll see you tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> here we are with a recap of tonight's "jersey shore." please welcome gary oldman. >> dancing in the club, snooki accidentally peas on herself. >> tim and eric. >> when you show this to an audience, what kind of response do you get? >> 25% walkout rate. >> and music from korn. >> this time around, the super bowl isn't just for ( susan ) so what are you gonna get me for valentine's day ? ( seth ) wouldn't you like to know ? something sparkly ? maybe. something sweet ? mmm... let's just say it's a surprise. the helzberg diamonds gift box. diamond heart pendant and godiva chocolate gems. i love you. you do ? ( seth ) wouldn't you like to know ? something sparkly ? maybe. something sweet ? mmm... let's just say it's a surprise. the helzberg diamonds gift box. diamond heart pendant and godiva chocolate gems. i love you. you do ? >> jimmy: hi. i'm jimmy kimmel. along with guillermo, and his chihuahuas. and a word abo

kimmel's next. >> dicky: tonight on jimmy kimmel live. >> you can always tell when steven tyler's back in hollywood because we all feel just a little molested inside. >> nathan fillion. >> everybody should think about, if the google map car's coming down my street, what am i gonna do? [ laughter ] >> dicky: josh hutcherson. >> we had this crazy lady that lived next door to us that always yells and walks her cat >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- nathan fillion. josh hutcherson. and music from far east movement. with cleto and the cletones. and, now, hold on tight, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, yes. thank you, cleto. hi, again. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming. well, well, well. if it isn't my studio audience. you have some nerve showing up here. [ laughter ] i hope you're all doing well tonight. hey, how are you, guillermo? >> doing great, jimmy. >> jimmy: you doing all right? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause

"jimmy kimmel live's" next. we'll see you tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> it's time, now, to play "guess what animal is on guillermo's head." >> john krasinski. >> i have a terrible phobia of birds. >> is that right? all kinds of birds? >> eloise mumford. >> i had no idea it was weird to grow up in las vegas, until i >>> hi. i'm jimmy kimmel, pleased to be joined, as always, by guillermo and frank's redhot, america's number one hot sauce brand. the three of us go everywhere together. why? well, one, because i find guillermo delightful. and two, because frank's redhot is the perfect blend of flavor and heat. >> and it's the perfect blend of heat and flavor. >> jimmy: yes. frank's redhot is good on just about everything you could possibly eat. right, guillermo? >> we shall see. is it good on french fries? >> jimmy: is it good on french fries? well, yes. i do believe it is good on french fries. >> is it good on vegetables? >> jimmy: it happens to be good on vegetables. it is good on ve

i'm jimmy kimmel. pleased to be joined by guillermo and frank's red hot, the america's number one hot sauce brand. we go everywhere together. one, because i find guillermo delightful. and frank's red hot is the perfect blend of taste and heat. frank's red hot is good on everything you can eat. >> we should see. is it good on french fries? >> jimmy: i do believe it is good on french fries. >> is it good on vegetables? >> jimmy: yeah. it happens to be good on vegetables. [ laughter ] it is good on vegetables. >> is it good on wings? >> jimmy: you know it's good on wings, you silly little guy. [ laughter ] in fact, excuse me for eating with my mouth full. but did you know that frank's redhot was the secret ingredient used to make the original buffalo wing recipe back in 1964? >> yes, jimmy. i did know. is it good on shoes. >> jimmy: well, let's find out if it is good on shoes. you know what? it didn't good on shoes. >> dicky: frank's redhot, i put that [ bleep ] on everything. "jimmy kimmel live" back in

here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, yes. thank you, cleto. hi, again. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming. well, well, well. if it isn't my studio audience. you have some nerve showing up here. [ laughter ] i hope you're all doing well tonight. hey, how are you, guillermo? >> doing great, jimmy. >> jimmy: you doing all right? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how is your diet going? >> not too good. >> jimmy: not too good. three weeks ago, guillermo announced that if he didn't lose ten pounds by february 28th, he was going to shave his mustache. why did you announce that by the way? >> that's the only way i can lose weight because i don't want to shave my mustache. >> jimmy: and how many pounds have you lost so far, in three weeks? >> like five. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: don't make me bring the scale out because you have not lost one pound, have y

kimmel's next. >> dicky: tonight on jimmy kimmel live. >> you can always tell when steven tyler's back in hollywood because we all feel just a little molested inside. >> nathan fillion. >> everybody should think about, if the google map car's coming down my street, what am i gonna do? [ laughter ] >> dicky: josh hutcherson. >> we had this crazy lady that lived next door to us that always yells and walks her cat on ♪ let me get that door for you... [ man ] i loved my first car... sometimes the door gets stuck... oh sure. ooh! [ man ] ...and then, i didn't. um... [ sighs ] [ man ] so, i got a car i can love a really, really long time. [ male announcer ] for the road ahead, the l-new subaru impreza®. ♪ experience love that lasts. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- nathan fillion. josh hutcherson. and music from far east movement. with cleto and the cletones. and, now, hold on tight, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, yes. thank you, cleto. hi, again. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show.

i'm jimmy kimmel with cottonelle clean care toilet paper. make sure to respect the roll that respects you, with one of cottonelle's new jonathan adler-designed roll covers. looks very nice to me. but i really should ask our resident art expert what he thinks. guillermo, have you seen the new jonathan adler roll covers? >> first, let me say bonjour, jimmy. >> jimmy: bonjour, guillermo. he turns french when he paints. >> i do not paint, jimmy. i bring life to the canvas. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the canvas. talk about the toilet paper, will you? yes. >> oui, jimmy, i respect the roll that respects me. and i respect the work of mr. jonathan adler. but i am working on a masterpiece of my own. >> jimmy: oh, you're working on a piece right now? >> oui. >> jimmy: may i have a look? >> oui. you may see my painting. >> jimmy: you've done it again, guillermo. >> merci. >> jimmy: merci. >> dicky: buy specially marked packages of cottonelle clean care and get free jonathan adler-designed roll cover at respecttheroll.com. also available at select retailers

jimmy kimmel is next. good night, america. >>> up next, on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> concerned about their teens having sex, they should make their kids do what i did, which is play clarinet in the high school marching band. >> jessica alba. >> one time, i took my dad's ford probe to jack in the box. >> so, you were a really bad kid then. >> barney frank. nathan myhrvold. >> it's like, i don't even know yo >> jimmy: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- jessica alba. barney frank. chef nathan myhrvold. and music from the tower of power horns. with cleto and the cletones. and now, once more, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. hello. and thank you for watching. thank you for coming out tonight. [ cheers and applause ] i am jimmy. you can call me james, if you want to be formal. today is ash wednesday. as some of you probably know. and it is also because god has a weird sense of humor. national margarita day today. that's a real

"jimmy kimmel" is next, see you here tomorrow. >> dicky: tonight on an all new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> mike guacamole too early -- is it okay if it's a little bit furry on sunday? >> dicky: martin scorsese. >> as far as it melting, i'm not show sure. >> i'm sure and it doesn't work. >> dicky: and kenneth branagh. >> there's steve martin and tom hanks, hey, nice job, really good jobs, >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- martin scorsese. kenneth branagh. and music from angels & airwaves. with cleto and the cletones. and now -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. how are you doing? thank you. and welcome. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for visiting. thank you for watching. thank you for making love in front of the television set. i'm glad you feel so comfortable with me and i with you, by the way. i take it it was a beautiful day here in hollywood. sun was shining, got up to almost 70 degrees -- i got to wear my dolphin shorts into work which was a treat for my co-workers. it would be fun to have some s

jimmy kimmel's up next. see you here tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- courteney cox. >> you tweeted in 2 weeks, 1,111 times. >> go, me. >> we have new york giants fans in the audience tonight? >> new york giants mario manningham and ahmad bradshaw. >> do you feel bad about making tom brady cry? >> better him than us. >> plus, music from tony bennett. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- courteney cox. new york giants mario manningham and ahmad bradshaw. plus, tony bennett. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> reporter: that's very nice. thank you. thank you, cleto. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for being here tonight. thanks for not fronting, i hate that. what is fronting? i was talking to my friend, baby doll today. this is a grown man named baby doll. we were talking about something on the show last night.

here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, hello there, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for staying up late on sunday. as you know, the 84th annual academy awards just wrapped up right across the street from us. "the artist" won best motion picture. pretty good for a movie that's black and white and silent. just the way kim kardashian likes her men. octavia spencer won for the movie "the help." one of the few movies this year that was a hit at the box office and with the critics. it was so powerful, arnold schwarzenegger tried to get it pregnant. [ rim shot ] >> jimmy: thank you. jean dujardin wos best actor in a leading role. he finally talks, he says the f-word. meryl streep won best actress. nothing against -- personally, i think viola davis was robbed. literally. lindsay lohan stole her harry winston necklace. "transform "transformers. >> cleto: dark of the moon" was nominated. it's about time the academy started showing some inclus

jimmy kimmel is next. see you back here tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> who wins the presidency, i don't care as long as i can get good illegal fireworks. right guillermo? >> antonio banderas. >> just lip synching me. exactly what i would say. she was like -- >> damon wayans jr. and music from 50 cent. >> guillermo, what is he saying? >> i don't understand. >> this is the worst edition of super people's court, ever. >> an all-new "jimmy kimmel live," coming up next. >> jimmy: oh, hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. reading up on the epic new role playing game, "reckoning." >> did you say "the reckoning"? >> jimmy: why yes, baseball legend curt schilling, i did. i can't wait to play it. >> i've got your copy right here. but better yet, let me take you to the game's huge, wide-open fantasy world. >> jimmy: amalur? you can do that? >> i can do that. just rub your nose on this bloody sock. >> jimmy: is that the famous sock? >> no, i did this yesterday mowing the lawn. >> jimmy: no, i'm not goin

jimmy kimmel's up next. see you here tomorrow. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- courteney cox. >> you tweeted in 2 weeks, 1,111 times. >> go, me. >> we have new york giants fans in the audience tonight? >> new york giants mario manningham and ahmad bradshaw. >> do you feel bad about making tom brady cry? >> better him than us. >> plus, music from tony bennett. [ female announcer ] more people are using wireless devices in more ways than ever. and our networks are getting crowded. but if congress frees up more wireless spectrum, we can empower more people to innovate, create jobs, and put momentum behind our economy. and a spectrum auction could raise as much as 30 billion dollars to help fund the payroll tax cut. it's simple. more spectrum means more freedom. for everyone. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- courteney cox. new york giants mario manningham and ahmad bradshaw. plus, tony bennett. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel. ♪ it's "jimmy

get the new jimmy kimmel live app and see what you've been missing. app store or go to jklapps.com to get it now. ashlee! ashlee! ashlee! ashlee! what were you looking for when you bought your edge? um, i was definitely looking for fuel economy. that's the whole reason we, we wanted to look at the ecoboost. can you talk a little bit about the style of the edge? um, well, i think it's very hip. i even have several guys were like "whoa, do have twenties on those". like, don't even know what that means, but i guess it's cool. (laugh) for just a little money? let's start with a paint we know can do the job. new glidden duo paint plus primer. ♪ one coat does double duty. ♪ and fits our budget perfectly. so there's a brand-new room right where the old one used to be. more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. new glidden duo paint plus primer only at the home depot and starting at only $24.97 a gallon. but i wanted more support for my heart. i found centrum specialist. a complete multivitamin enhanced for what's important to me. vision. en

jimmy kimmel is next. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> california has become overrun with chihuahuas. true. every morning, my gardner fires up his leaf blower and fires chihuahuas off my driveway. >> "science bob" pflugfelder. sean "diddy" combs. >> >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- sean "diddy" combs. "science bob" pflugfelder. and music from miley cyrus. with cleto and the cletones. and now, stay still, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, that's very nice. appreciate it. hi there. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching at home. thank you for coming to -- [ cheers and applause ] -- visit. i hope you had a good valentine's day last night. did you have a good valentine's day last night? [ cheers ] it's good to get the sex out of the way for the rest of the year, isn't it? [ laughter ] it is kind of weird to come to work knowing what your co-workers did last night. [ laughter ] i know one -- jason, what -- did you -- what did you do last night? did you make love to your be