cousin had the same last name as him and that was apparently enough to convince a newspaper that mark twain at least dying in london. and that is when mark twain, famously said on may 31st, 1897, quote, the report of my death was an exaggeration. the modern terrible inheriter is this guy. the head of the taliban in pakistan. the first time he was reported to be dead was on the day the pakistani taliban announced he was the new leader. it was an amazing headline that day. they've named their new leader but we're pretty sure he's dead. so that was summer of 2009. turns out he was not dead. he was their new leader. then in the fall of that year, again, counterterrorism officials insist he's dead, dead in a drone strike. he was not dead then either. so in the summer of '09, they said he was dead and he wasn't dead. later in 2009 they said he was dead and he wasn't dead. in 2010, in january 2010, again, officials say he's dead, we killed him. but he wasn't dead then either. then a second time later that same month, january 2010, pakistan announces that he's dead again. but, again, he is not dead

mark twain said, suppose you were a congressman and an idiot. but i repeat myself. [laughter] >> he loved it. but, yeah, coming back to your point, i think there are similarities. continuities. obama's very cerebral. is an academic, and kennedy wrote books, published books, and obama wrote books, and i think there's a certain affinity for -- now kennedy was never a glad-hander and certainly obama is not a glad-hander. i have next 0 to him at one dinner and there's no small talk. he is very serious and it's all business, all the time, and that's fine with me. i'm an academic, too, but kennedy never really liked that kind of traditional boston, how is your grandma and your uncle so and so, and he never engaged in that type of chatter, and i think obama is very serious about what he -- and of course the knock on him has been that he didn't -- hadn't cultivated the people in congress the way lyndon johnson did, because johnson was the guy that pressed the flesh, and somebody said when lyndon backed you into a corner and breathing into your mouth you knew you were finish

mark twain said, suppose you were a congressman and an idiot. but i repeat myself. [laughter] >> he loved it. but, yeah, coming back to your point, i think there are similarities. continuities. obama's very cerebral. is an academic, and kennedy wrote books, published books, and obama wrote books, and i think there's a certain affinity for -- now kennedy was never a glad-hander and certainly obama is not a glad-hander. i have next 0 to him at one dinner and there's no small talk. he is very serious and it's all business, all the time, and that's fine with me. i'm an academic, too, but kennedy never really liked that kind of traditional boston, how is your grandma and your uncle so and so, and he never engaged in that type of chatter, and i think obama is very serious about what he -- and of course the knock on him has been that he didn't -- hadn't cultivated the people in congress the way lyndon johnson did, because johnson was the guy that pressed the flesh, and somebody said when lyndon backed you into a corner and breathing into your mouth you knew you were finish

alec baldwin: capital one bank is proud to sponsor the mark twain prize for american humor. supporting the arts and education, just a few ways capital one bank is investing for good. enjoy the show. narrator: american airlines and its regional partners serve 250 cities and 50 countries with more than 3,400 daily flights throughout the world. we are proud of our support of arts programming on public television and "the kennedy center mark twain prize for american humor." major funding for this program is provided by the corporation for public broadcasting and by the generous contributions to your pbs station from viewers like you. thank you. [audience applause]. announcer: tonight, direct from our nation's capitol,

. >> look, politics in washington these days is like what mark twain said about new england weather. if you don't like it, wait 15 minutes. i am confident predicting just about anything except the future at this point. so i'm not going to sit here now and try to figure out what the operative climate is going to be as very evenly balanced senate races are adjudicated. we just don't know yet, and i don't think it's responsible to suggest that we do. >> guests thanks a lot for being here. that brings us to the end of this edition of inside story. i'm ray suarez. good night.

i'd like to begin by quoting, i think it was mark twain, who said, "a lie can get halfway around the world before truth gets out of bed in the morning and puts its boots on." so this morning, we're going to try to give truth a chance. thank you for joining us for this hearing. the affordable care act passed, as we all know, on march -- in march of 2010 and was signed into law by the president three days later. that was over three and a half years ago. last year, the supreme court upheld one of the essential components of this law, the no free rider provision, requiring full participation through private and public health insurance marketplaces. the goals of the affordable care act at the time we passed the law were implemented for creating a workforce that was healthy, because only a healthy workforce can be a strong workforce, and america needs the strongest workforce we can get, so we can continue to have the strongest economy in the world. those were the goals three and a half years ago. that is the hope and promise today. there were four specific goals of the affordable care act.

let's hear it for mark twain. he's wonderful. i can't stand the thought that people are going to throw out huckleberry finn and put nappy hair in. you know, that's not the way. let me ask-- one of the things people who work in the area of fighting off censorship, we tend to demonize people who want to censor. there is a sense that, you know, "these are the people who walk into walls, "and they're not well-read, "and they-- they're just determined to shut out the world." but are there times when a parent could go to a school administrator and say, "look, my son or daughter is reading this in the fourth grade, and it's really not appropriate"? would that always be wrong? i think a thoughtful-- a thoughtful parent coming into school to talk about something is always welcome. it's the zealot that we all jump away from. thoughtfulness is appreciated always. is it--is it, then, that teacher's job to change the book? i don't know. (mannino) well, i'm hoping that the decision-- people make bad decisions. i mean, not every book that's tau

sosome of the greatest books are banned by authors like mark twain and earnest hemmingway, and worldbased in seattle, washington provides e-books to poor children in sub saharan africa. i'm going to ask the winners of the innovations and reading prize to stand and be recognized. let's give them some recognition for this great work. [applause] all right. now a few years ago people didn't think we were serious when the national book awards added an after party. as many of you know it's become a hot ticket. in fact, the first time we did it it was oversubscribed. i couldn't tell anyone where it was. if you want to go you have to hunt somebody down and get him to tell you. we figured out we need lot of space. we do it right here at the upstairs at the end. everyone is invited. we have to thank our after sponsor. our after party committee. our spirited after party committee. she's watching the ceremony from the post in antarctica. that's going on. [cheering and applause] okay. a few more people to thank. we want to thank our host and having me on "morning joe" to announce the finalists. t

mark twain came up and testified and made up all kinds of stories that he had spent four days by his own admission in dallas and he came up with allegations and he didn't really investigate to stop this with later became much more tumultuous. and i know is that one of those days and gave him a lot of material that he later turned around and talking to the one commission. there's a lot we have to understand. and we had never thought of this before and had something of this magnitude happened. that was the military situation that was far off, and we had implications. the dial dallas was unusual. everyone from the top to the bottom made mistakes and talked and they shouldn't have. which also led to conspiracy theories by the hundreds. and he was asked how did they get to this building now. and they said that it was true. twenty reporters said who is the cab driver and he said there'll click. to this day, there has never been a cab driver in the whole state of texas named there'll click. and they see pictures here of the officer holding it up in a the deputy sheriff said that that looks

from the great wellsprings of human talent and concern that gave us shakespeare, abraham lincoln, mark twain, our parents, our friends. we need a rebirth of gratitude for those who cared for us living and mostly dead. the high moments of our way of life are their gifts to us. we must remember them in our thoughts, and in our prayers, and in our deeds. thank you very much. [applause] >> we have plenty of time for questions. and i'd ask if you could wait for the microphone to come to you and identify yourself before starting to speak. ... the principles of ronald reagan, the values of ronald reagan are timeless. but the policies changed because, as rich said, politics changed in the world changed. you have to adapt to it. i think there are some things that were not completed during the reagan years. i think there were some things that he might of tackled but for higher priorities like the soviet and a disastrous economy. i think that you take those things aside and he might have looked at things like the culture in america. ron reagan would have been an extraordinary speaking out about the dev

it reminds me of something mark twain says reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.hat's not quite where we are with the obama presidency just yet. what does it have to do to move forward? get the website going. it's not a policy problem. it's an implementation problem. that's a lot easier. if we had significant policy problems, we were worrying than right now we have an implementation problem which it totally is sur mountable. it's different than the syria issue where obama is decider and they are saying figure out what you want to do. he's not a coder, can't go down and figure out, here's the problem with the website. he's not even probably picking the person sitting at the computer doing that. it's a slightly different sort of problem. but i imagine that this too shall pass. >> that leads to the question of then maybe there should be some changes made here. i think people are willing to be patient if there is some accountability that they can trust that they know with that patience that they are going to get what they are waiting for in the end. i think that's wha

you know, inventors, mark twain said we were the nation of inventors we are.ry about engineers and mechanics and what excited these guys about invention was the democracy. the idea that we all have these innate powers and we can harness them to create and design a country to unleash them and we kind of have gotten away from that idea in the sense that when you think of an adventure in our culture today you think of maybe a coder in silicon valley or te teslan motors, but we need ten and what i tried to do in the book was highlight some of the less well known people but also who have really important ideas. >> thanks for your research and your book. best of luck with that. >>> up next, time-out on washington. watch out. she's vying for your sports correspondence title. >> uh-oh. for all those who sleep for all those who sleep too hot or too cool, and struggle to sleep comfortably together, now there's a solution. the company that individualized your comfort with the sleep number bed brings you sleep number dual temp, the revolutionary temperature-balancing laye

>> mark twain somehow got involved in this thing.e was a friend with this other guy in standard oil. they somehow persuaded him that it would be good. he had confidence in himself that he could tell ida the good things about standard oil. she ended up liking him very much. meet -- what is the word? they met secretly. let's say they met secretly. she would come in one door, they would go out another. she would tell them what she was finding. he was then rebutted. after the articles started coming out, they broke apart. it wasn't because she had to trade him, but i think he realized he couldn't keep talking to her. >> what impact did she have on the rockefeller standard oil operation? >> i think eventually her material -- even the justice department and lawyers said -- were used as part of the brief. , theckefeller would say stock would still go up. moco though they became ao and mobil and all these parts, he still had the power. it definitely diminished his reputation. until her articles, he had been this benevolent figure. he did mor

>> mark twain somehow got involve in this. and he was a friend with the other guy who was in standard oil. they persuaded him that he had confidence in himself, this guy in standard oil that he could tell ida the good things about standard oil. she ended up liking him very much. but they meet serendipitously -- >> oh, that's not the word. they met secretly. she would come in one door, they would come out another. she would tell them what he was finding. she would listen to him. at a certain point after the article started coming out, they broke apart. wasn't because she betrayed him in any way. they realized they couldn't keep talking to her. >> what impact did she have. >> her materials, the justice department lawyers said it was used as part of the briefs when they did the antitrust lawsuit. j.d. rockefeller said it didn't matter, the stock would go up. they became amoco and mobile and all of these different parts, he still had the power. but it definitely diminished his reputation until her articles, he had been this extrao

i'd like to begin by quoting, i think it was mark twain, who said, "a lie can get halfway around the world before truth gets out of bed in the morning and puts its boots on." so this morning, we're going to try to give truth a chance. thank you for joining us for this hearing. the affordable care act passed, as we all know, on march -- in march of 2010 and was signed into law by the president three days later. that was over three and a half years ago. last year, the supreme court upheld one of the essential components of this law, the no free rider provision, requiring full participation through private and public health insurance marketplaces. the goals of the affordable care act at the time we passed the law were implemented for creating a workforce that was healthy, because only a healthy workforce can be a strong workforce, and america needs the strongest workforce we can get, so we can continue to have the strongest economy in the world. those were the goals three and a half years ago. that is the hope and promise today. there were four specific goals of the affordable care act.

i'd like to begin by quoting, i think it was mark twain, who said, "a lie can get halfway around the world before truth gets out of bed in the morning and puts its boots on." so this morning, we're going to try to give truth a chance. thank you for joining us for this hearing. the affordable care act passed, as we all know, on march -- in march of 2010 and was signed into law by the president three days later. that was over three and a half years ago. last year, the supreme court upheld one of the essential components of this law, the no free rider provision, requiring full participation through private and public health insurance marketplaces. the goals of the affordable care act at the time we passed the law were implemented for creating a workforce that was healthy, because only a healthy workforce can be a strong workforce, and america needs the strongest workforce we can get, so we can continue to have the strongest economy in the world. those were the goals three and a half years ago. that is the hope and promise today. there were four specific goals of the affordable care act.

mark twain came up and testified and made up all kinds of stories that he had spent four days by his own admission in dallas and he came up with allegations and he didn't really investigate to stop this with later became much more tumultuous. and i know is that one of those days and gave him a lot of material that he later turned around and talking to the one commission. there's a lot we have to understand. and we had never thought of this before and had something of this magnitude happened. that was the military situation that was far off, and we had implications. the dial dallas was unusual. everyone from the top to the bottom made mistakes and talked and they shouldn't have. which also led to conspiracy theories by the hundreds. and he was asked how did they get to this building now. and they said that it was true. twenty reporters said who is the cab driver and he said there'll click. to this day, there has never been a cab driver in the whole state of texas named there'll click. and they see pictures here of the officer holding it up in a the deputy sheriff said that that looks

six hours had passed by all of these other people giving their speech first. >> mark twain. same as funny. that's not true. em pair rasing is exactly the same as funny. >> as long as it's not you doing it. >> unless the wife or husband will be furious with you or the spouse after they hear the story. >> yeah. that makes it funnier. >> pick one story, maybe two. they often ramble from one anecdote to the next. often look, you were there. the audience wasn't there at your little story, the thing you're going to tell. they can't understand the context of that story. >> that's a good point. >> write and rehearse it. it's okay if you're up there reading it. i was in a wedding three months ago in the hamptons. the wonderful toews but her nose started bleeding. >> what? >> she was freaking out. >> that enhances it. would you remember it now if she hadn't done that? >> well, probably i wouldn't be talking about it now. i hope they're not watching. >> it's not to aggrandize you, it's to entertain everybody else. maybe the worst toasts are the best toasts. >> bloody knows, juggling. h

this hearing would be full of a lot of strong opinions, but i started this morning by saying as mark twain said that a can go halfway around the world before truth gets out of bed and puts the boots on in the morning. this hearing was held to get the truth out about the benefits of the affordable care act to small business and the challenges that are presented to us. as americans, i think if we work together, [inaudible conversations] >> a couple of live events to tell you about today. the "national journal" hosted a discussion on fiscal policy and the financial system. that's at 8:30 a.m. eastern. at 12:15 p.m. eastern a look at the health care and insurance marketplaces. >> lady bird johnson was the first wife of a president to become a millionaire by investing in and running radio and tv stations in texas. watch our program saturday at 7 p.m. eastern on c-span and live monday night our series continues. >> during the present historic trip to china, mrs. nixon accompanied him. mrs. nixon was looking at -- the cigarettes of pandas on them and choosing i also understand you admired the pan

you know, those are navigation aids that date back to the 19th century, back to the -- back to mark twain. and today i think we could do a little bit bet than painting lines on bridge abut thements, to provide navigation aids -- abuttments, to provide navigation aids for our martime industry. additionally, the corps at this point is restricted to working in the 300-foot congressionally mandated channel. so 300 feet going down the river that the barges transit through is the only place the corps is allowed to work. this bill would give the corps more authorities to work outside that channel, to ensure that we have safe navigation for those barges filled with oil and with fertilizer and other industrial materials. the bill would also provide for greater mississippi river basin extreme weather management study. today we don't understand how the river system operates. and we don't treat it as a system. when you look at that map that mr. garamendi showed you of the river system, you see an entire system, you see the mississippi, the ohio, the missouri, the illinois. those aren't separate entit

new this hearing would be full of a lot of strong opinions that i start this morning by saying as mark twainsaid that a lie and go halfway around the world before truth gets out of bed and puts its boots on in the morning. this hearing was held to get the truth out about the benefits of the affordable care act, the small business and the challenges that are presented to us. as americans i think if we work together we can meet those challenges. the meeting is adjourned. lady bird johnson was the first wife of the president to become a millionaire by investing in and running radio tv stations in texas. what's your program saturday at 7:00 p.m. eastern on c-span and live monday night at our series continues. >> during the president's historic trip to china mrs. nixon accompanied him. he noticed how mixes -- mrs. nixon was looking at a package of cigarettes that had pandas on them and she was admiring that. he said i understand you also admire the pandas at the zoo and she said yes i pay darling? he said we will make sure that you have pandas to go home with. it was important for her to uphold a

. >> art, i think it was mark twain that said history doesn't repeat itself but it does tend to rhyme. give me a little take here given your history on what we can expect. we're up 29% in the s&p this year, we're into the holiday season now. we have i don't know how many trading days to go, but not that many. what does history tell us? >> interestingly enough you're up 29% and you say, wow, that's a rare occasion and over a hundred years, i haven't been trading for quite a hundred years yet. but over a hundred years, you will find that's into the quite as infrequent as you think, shows up about 20% of the time. and often it's coming back from a big selloff. i think that you have to be a little careful here. the fulcrum point will be the bond market. people will say everyone knows tapering is coming so it's priced in the market. it is not priced in the market. >> even the treasury guys are saying that. >> stock people, people on margin, running and panicking, i would be concerned about a spike in yields and rates as people try to run ahead of the fed and that would then spill over into

though he was a strong advocate of international copyright, samuel clemens, mark twain conceded in testimony before the senate subcommittee in 1886 that it was wrong to accuse americans of dishonesty. he said in his words i do consider those persons who are pirates who were made favored by the collusion of the united states government. congress if anybody is to blame for their actions it is not dishonesty. the drone in the copyright world sure to pleasshut up these exong distinctions in his 1879 treaty he said in the law of copyright privacy is the use of liquo flay property violation of the legal rights of the owner. it isn't piracy to take without authority or a part or one another as written is neither a statute or the common law is thereby violating. this is not piracy because no law is violated and without misrepresentation is the authorship it isn't plagiarism. they couldn't accurately be called pirates were plagiarists yet they slipped away such a distinction in their indignati indignation. throughout the 19th century, protests against yankee pirates issued from both sides of the atla