we have the tree captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: to the a technological innovation in fast food. chicken fingers now contain real finger. then i timely take a stand on a

everyone here at the report when i say, holy captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

we have the tree captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: to the a technological innovation in fast food. chicken fingers now contain real finger. then i timely take a stand on a controversial issue. yes the vatican was a little harsh on gallow galileo. and my guest christopher know lan is the director of "interstellar" and "batman" movies. i will tell him my theory that batman is clark kent. burger king has brought back the yumbo sandwich. don't worry some of them are new. this is the "colbert captioning sponsored by comedy central report." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> audience: stephen! stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome, good to have you with us. in here, out there, all around the world. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: you know i need your energy. you know i need it thank you, so much for everything you do tonight and every night you heroes. you it getters. show, this show is number 1438. sadly i have yet to achieve all of my goals. for instance congress is still broken. unfortunately the warn tee expired in 1

i'm youry comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh acce captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody. thank you so much for joining us. ( cheers ) in here, out there. mr. and mrs. america. ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much. ( cheers and applause ) thank you for your support. thank you for being heroes. folks, folks, for those of you who don't know, we are still counting down to the last episode of the report. after tonight, after tonight, there are two shows left. tomorrow, who knows? ( laughter ) and for a second, it looked like ending my show in 2014 would keep me from covering the 2016 presidential race. but then i realized that's only true if i care about being accurate. ( laughter ) and luckily for me, 2016 came early this year. >> breaking news just in, jeb bush making it official-- well, officially exploring a run for president of the united states. >> he has decided to actively explore running for president in 2016. >> jeb bush is tweeting as we s

we don't die ♪ ioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org> stephen: tonight, i find a great new way to make a quick buck, i'll tell you how for just $5. then the president normalizes relations with cuba. now if he could just normalize relations with florida. and my guest phil klay is an author and a rock veteran who just won the national book award. so that's one thing we won in iraq. nasa has found meth ann on marses though i believe it originated from uranus. this is the colbert report. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ♪ >> stephen: welcome tos report, everybody, thank you so much. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. thank you so much. good to have you with us in here, out there, all around the world. ladies and gentlemen, folks thank you so much i mr. so grateful that off you are here, all of you are at home watching. this is my last show that this isn't my last show. an i have told to tell yo

your portrait right there that -- >> thank you for saying that way comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ (eagle caw) captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to "the report," everybody! thank you so much! (audience chanting "stephen") thank you, ladies and gentlemen! thank you so much! (audience chanting "stephen") (cheers and applause) you're the heros! you're the people doing this, not me! (cheers and applause) folks, thank you so much for being here. folks, you know, i really need -- thank you for that energy because i need it because, folks, i gotta tell ya, i come to you tonight a shaken man. because recent revelations have proven that the american people were systematically and repeatedly lied to. for more, let's go to my colleague brett baier. >> last night was the big night, the airing of the discovery channel's eaten alive, where a man offered himself up to be consumed by an anaconda. many viewers found the payoff tough to swallow. >> turns out the snake sort of put his mouth around his head and the guy tapped out

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh media access group ath.org ♪ i'm going down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪ -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com mom! mom! mom, seriously! somhas happened!ful what is it, snookums? mom, look -- the tooth fairy! i put a tooth under my pillow, and she gave me $2! she's only given me a lousy quarter before! oh, my. she must think that you are a very special little muffin. yeah, this is so tits! don't say "tits," eric. oh, i mean, this is so cool! well, perhaps now you should take that money and open up a savings account that has compounded daily interest. heh, you can compound daily my ass with interest, mom. i'm goin' to the toy store and buy me a skateboar

i'm youry comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh media access group at wgbh acce ♪ i'm everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪

comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ >> stephen colbert presentsmr. colbert goes to washington, d.c. a later legislator: partisan is such sweet sorrow. " a colbert victory lap 2014. ♪ (cheers and applause) (audience chanting "stephen") >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen! welcome to "the report"! welcome to "the report"! thanks so much, everybody! (cheers and applause) welcome to "the report"! great to have me with you! (laughter) folks,. >> tonight's broadcast emanates from our nation's capital. there's electricity in the air. can you feel it? (cheers and applause) i think it's electricity. they just legalized pot here. (cheers and applause) last night, i got a contact high just walking down to street, and ended up in my hotel room binge-watching c-span. (laughter) well, i think it was c-span. it might have been my shower curtain. i don't know. (laughter) we're at beautiful george washington university. (cheers and applause) george washington university, of course, named for our first president, george university. (laughter) because this i

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody. thank you so much for being here. good to have you with us. folks, i gotta tell you-- folks, thank you, thank you so much for that, for that welcome, because tonight, i am beside myself with anger and he's mad, too. ( laughter ) because yesterday, senate democrats dropped a turd of information into the national punch bowl of bliss. >> explosive report, the senate reveals c.i.a. secrets about torturing terror suspects. >> the report written by senate democrats says the c.i.a. overstated the program's successes while hiding its horrors. >> it is a damning indictment. >> it is damning, indeed. >> stephen: yes, a damning report about enhanced interigation. the program was started under president bush if you recall, and if you don't recall, the c.i.a. has ways to make you. it's

. >> why are you captioning sponsy comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org tonight at this look at the protest in ferguson, though they are a little hard to see through the tear gas. and then isis finds a new way to recruit. that's one more linked in request to delete. and my guest is arizona senator john mccain though you probably know him best as the man who launched sarah palin's tv career. resempers are developing a breathalyzer to detect marijuana. the best part is, you can turn it into a bong. this is the colbert report. captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcom welcome-- welcome-- welcome to the report. good to you have with us. thank you. >> stephen, stephen, steph en! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you, thank you ladies and gentlemen. thank you. heroes in here, out there, all around the world. thank you. sit down. nation, thank you so much for being here, folks it. great to be back. in the home stretch. nation, i hope you all had a wonderful, a wonderful-- i hope you all

captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org december 9, 2014. from comedy central world view in new york, it is "the daily show" with jon stewart! (cheers and applause) ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. i'm jon stewart. my guests tonight, kathryn bigelow and juan zarate to talk about the illegal ivory trade. but we begin tonight with big news out of washington. >> the world is bracing for the release of the senate c.i.a. torture report. this is going to be a very big deal. >> jon: it's a big deal! that's why they made it a christmas release! this report is the "frozen" of c.i.a. clan destined didacted torture reports! ♪ let me go ♪ let me go nobody's electrocuting olaf for information because he would melt. why to we need to see the torture report anyway? we got to the bottom of this h years ago! >> this government does not torture people. >> jon: pow! if that famed patter of feet says we don't torture, who are we do disagree? when he says, this government does not torture people, what do you think of my

he wasn't the on captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org (eagle caw) >> stephen: tonight, is america guilty of torture? no, we seem fine with it. then hackers expose hollywood secrets. it turns out apollo 13 took place on a sound stage! and my guest, seth rogen, stars with james franco in the new movie "the interview". i'll ask him about it in the "the interview interview". a new york high schooler made $72 million trading stocks on his lunch hour. in a couple more years, he'll be able to pay for college. this is "the colbert report"! (cheers and applause) ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central (eagle caw) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to "the report," ladies and gentlemen! good to have you with us! (audience chanting "stephen") thank you so much, folks! thank you so much for being here! what a joy! what a pleasure to be with you tonight, folks! (cheering) you know, i love being with you. ladies and gentlemen, if you've been paying attention to the news lately, folks, if you watch the news, you know that this is -- (cheering)

good night. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight the winter olympics. ilie describe my plan to take home the gold in apres ski. plus i'll tell you about the grammy's in a powerful cross et with dmx. then george packer, author of "the assassin's gate" is here, to tell us who left the gate open and why would you build a gate for assassin's anyway. very short sided. hope you haven't eaten in the last 30 minutes, america, because you're about to go swimming in the deep end of the truth this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( applause ) ( theme song playing ) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report. we are smack-dab in the middle of award season. and frankly, i've got the fever. award fever. i hope you all watched the grammy's last night, fan -- fantastic show. and really informative, for instance, i've been wondering who the audience is for this kayne west gentlemen, who does he appeal to. jimmy? (cheers and applause) >> it's a rap. >> stephen: ma

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning. you, you! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you, thank you. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report, folks. it so good to have you with me. i just wish the opposite was true. and let me explain what i mean here. i almost didn't come to work today, folks. i am just-- yeah, mi just so depressed that we still have a government. (laughter) >> stephen: we were so close to shutting it down. and the democrats would have taken the blame. because i agree with indiana congressman mike pence that nobody could have said that the shutdown was just republican brinksmanship. >> we're trying to have a victory for the republican people, for the republican people, trying to score a victory for the american people, not for the republican party. >> stephen: what an blooe blooep-- blooep wlooep, i mean republicans-- i mean americans. and folks, with no government we could finally have shaken off the yolk of useless regulator

captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org shatter the windows of this francisco restaurant. tonig: the racial remark -- witness say set it all off. the latest round of rain has moved on through the bay ar. but tonight: the weather is still making a mess of the holiday travel rush. and how low will they go? t big reason california drive are getting such a deal on and -- why it won't last lo. kpix 5 news is next. lots of shattered glass. (bt to) for over 60,000 california foster children, the holidays can be an especially difficult time. to help, sleep train is holding a secret santa toy drive. bring your gift to any sleep train, tag: mattress discounters good deed dogs is raising money to help train assistance dogs for wounded veterans. we need your help to do more. give at mattressdiscountersdogs.com or any mattress discounters. mattress discounters good deed dogs-- helping dogs help people. bullets fly through a san francisco restaurant.. afte argument outside >>> shattered glass. everybody ducked down, really, really quickly. >> bulle

[cheers and applause] [music playing] captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) [cheers and applause] >> stephen: come on! woo, w oo! thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to "the report." thank you so much, everybody. [audience chanting "stephen"] thank you. thank you, nation. please. nation, thank you. you are like my anti-kryptonite. you make me stronger. nation, regular viewers of this show know i have a long-standing beef with astrophysicist stephen hawking. what kind of megalomaniac names his tv show "stephen hawking: master of the universe." there's only one master of the universe, and it's he man. screw heisenberg, folks, it's time once again to say with total quantum certainty stephen hawking is such an a-hole. [laughter] hawking won't even share his mastery of the universe with the guy who made the universe. jim. >> hawking writes in his book, "it is not necessary to invoke god." can you prove that god does

he wasn't the on captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orgight, is america guilty of torture? no, we seem fine with it. then hackers expose hollywood secrets. it turns out apollo 13 took place on a sound stage! and my guest, seth rogen, stars with james franco in the new movie "the interview". i'll ask him about it in the "the interview interview". a new york high schooler made $72 million trading stocks on his lunch hour. in a couple more years, he'll be able to pay for college. this is "the colbert report"! (cheers and applause) ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central (eagle caw) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to "the report," ladies and gentlemen! good to have you with us! (audience chanting "stephen") thank you so much, folks! thank you so much for being here! what a joy! what a pleasure to be with you tonight, folks! (cheering) you know, i love being with you. ladies and gentlemen, if you've been paying attention to the news lately, folks, if you watch the news, you know that this is -- (cheering) --

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org from comedycheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to the daily show i'm jon stewart. by popular demand our guest tonight sophie delaunay from doctors without boarders, she is here tonight to look at this thing on my ankle. a lovely courageous individual as they all are. i want to first talk to you about professional futbol. the ame

(cheers aptioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org college will be unveiling the city college cosmic pioneer, their very own orbital launch simulator. pretty soon, they will have an astronaut on their brochure, and we will still be bragging about our foosball table.

captioniy comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ >> stephen colberton, d.c. a later legislator: partisan is such sweet sorrow. " a colbert victory lap 2014. ♪ (cheers and applause)

[cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh4 from comedy central world news headquarters in new york this is the "daily show" with jon stewart. [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the "daily show i'm jon stewart. my show is a fine one. my guest to the is dave goal. hgrohl.first the past couple ofs we have dealt with a grand jury decision in month movement failing to indict the officer for the shooting of brown. we did our best. even at the expense of rams and the st. louis police sa association, twitter war. i know doing those bits help no one other then us at the show as a outlet, a ka tha a way to dige process. that process brought to you by arby's. arby's, you think pain and grief had hard to digest. [laughing]

captioniy comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ i'm going down tove myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪ okay, is everyone ready to go? oh, i'm so excited. i've always wanted to see cirque du cheville.

( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbhstephen: tonight president bush changes his mind on warless wiretapping. somebody must have caught him saying something on tape. then i settle some celebrity freuds -- feuds an with any luck i start a couple. plus you're not high, bill o'reilly is actually here tonight. okay. (cheers and applause) you might also be high. caution, you're about to watch me enter a no spin zone. is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( applause ) ( theme song playing ) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: okay. yes. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: oh. thank you. please. please be seated. thank you, thank you so much, heroes. you know, you are the luckiest audience ever. well -- (cheers and applause) >> stephen: well, at least since the one in the roman coliseum that got to see by would win, a christian or a lion. spoiler alert, lion. i almost wish i was you. but that would mean i wasn't me and i'm the luckiest host ever. see when this show started 14 months ago i had one goal it wa

captioning funded by cbs and ford captioned by media access group at wgbh captioned by media access grouparnaz... inthe i love lucy christmas special. (theme song playing) with vivian vance and william frawley. featuring the classic christmas episode and lucy's visit to the chocolate factory in "job switching." speed it up a little! announcer: plus, an extraordinary glimpse at never-before-broadcast costume and makeup tests. d now, i love lucy. announcer: plus, an extraordinary glimpse how's it here, honey? over to the left a little. no, no, the other way. no, i want it in the middle so the mantel won't look lopsided. santa claus doesn't care if the mantel looks lopsided.

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ ( cheerspplause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] >> stephen: okay. welcome to the report begun everybody. thank you so much for being here. [cheers and applause] thank you, ladies and gentlemen. [cheers and applause] thank you, please, please [crowd chanting stephen] >> stephen: thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. ladies and gentlemen, you are a wizard and i am your whale. [cheers and applause] and it's a good thing. you know, folks, this july fourth coming up in just the summer. [laughter] it is time to light your smokers good ribs are like a baby, they need to baste for nine months. but folks, you know as much as i love ribs, there's one part that i hate: the ribs. those bones are taking up precious meat space. [laughter] that's why i've always loved the mcdonalds mcrib sandwich. [cheers and applause] and i'm not alone. you see it's shaped like a slab of ribs but it's just the good part. [laughter] and possibly the bad parts. why kno

i'm youry comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh acce captioning sponsored by comedyapplause ) >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody. thank you so much for joining us. ( cheers ) in here, out there. mr. and mrs. america. ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much.

we have the tree captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orgcaptioningn: tonight steve be colbert holds a rally in south carolina. with any luck i'll have an exclusive. and my guests bruce bueno de mesquita says can predict what world leaders will do. i will ask him what animal putin is going to wrestle next. congratulations giants and patriots, way to stick it to those dwarves and traiters this is the colbert report captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) hey, what about that. yeah. thank you so much, everybody. come on. >> stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you, my brothers. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you my friends. welcome to the report. good to have you with us. folks, i hope you all had a great weekend. i sure did.

he wasn't the on captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org, we seem fine with it. then hackers expose hollywood secrets. it turns out apollo 13 took place on a sound stage! and my guest, seth rogen, stars with james franco in the new movie "the interview". i'll ask him about it in the "the interview interview". a new york high schooler made $72 million trading stocks on his lunch hour. in a couple more years, he'll be able to pay for college. this is "the colbert report"! (cheers and applause) ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org from comedy worldview headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart! (cheers and applause) ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: hey! welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight, wrestling star and all-around greatest guy in the world, mick foley with his movie, "i am santa". (cheers and applause) we'll be excited to talk to mick again. but

captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >>> you flow, it's like against the people. >> tonight, a packed house tries to shoot down plans for police grown patrols over the bay area's biggest city. >> a holiday heist in san francisco. thieves rip off a business dedicated to helping bay area kids in need. >> and the wet weather that we saw this week is only the beginning. the revised climate outlook that could put a dent in this historic drought. >> kpix5 news is coming up next. ,,,,,, >>> live from the cbs bay area studios. this is kpix5 news. >> tonight, san jose is trying to douse a fire over a high profile and unpopular purchase for its police force. good evening. >>

everyone here at the report when i say, holy captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access groupd 59 seconds, this happened on youtube. sometimes elevators get stuck and all you can really do is stay calm. or if you are the guy in this video, haul you can do is hit record in your camera while you react to what seems like not only the craziest man in the world but probably exactly how i would be in a stuck elevator. >> what the [bleep] you doing

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> fromdquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to the dilley show, my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight, a man-- man, are we lucky, a true-- a lot of times you say a ledge enary performer. this guy ask the legend of legends, norman lear is going to be joining us. (cheers and applause) >> jon: boom, all in the family, jeffersons. but first, from time to time in the program i like to

we have the tree captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orgtechnological innovation in fast food. chicken fingers now

everyone here at the report when i say, holy captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access grouponds, this happened on youtube. sometimes elevators get stuck and all you can really do is stay calm. or if you are the guy in this video, haul you can do is hit record in your camera while you react to what seems like not only the craziest man in the world but probably exactly how i would be in a stuck elevator. >> what the [bleep] you doing? >> with one eye open ♪ ♪ holding on tight ♪. >> [bleep] help is on the way, help is on the way ♪ ♪. >> stop your [bleep]. >> ♪

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephenat's it for the report, everybody. don't forget to go online and watch the colbert report back stage after show-show. it's where i go into a room with a perfect replication of this set and re-enact this show exactly. it's going to be fun. good night. ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> well, folks, that's the show. watch when we broadcast from the persian gulf. for security reasons, i can't tell you where or when it will be. but i can say this. it will be one hour earlier in the central time zone. great show, everybody. high five. >> hey, stephen so where and when are we going to the persian gulf? >> i don't know, matt, the pentagon won't even tell me. i'm beginning to think this whole thing is a hoax. the moon landing all over again. it's go-time. whaat? you guys really think i'm fat? [tires screeching] excuse me, where are you taking me? if you are going to saudi arabia, you really should take the holland tunnel. hi, i wanted to buy the solar powered self-inflating pat

your portrait right there that -- >> thank you for saying that way comedy central captioned by media access group ♪ (eagle caw) captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to "the report," everybody! thank you so much! (audience chanting "stephen")

good night. by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org 1111:59 and 59

(cheers aptioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orgd gentlemen. in here, out there, all around the world. >> stephen! stephen! stephen! thank you so much for being here. please, you've given enough at this point. thank you very much. you know, folks, i hope you're checking your calendars because i will be off the air for the 2016 presidential election, but folks that does not mean i

absolutely right. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central >> stephen: tonight, i profile an anti-gun lobbyist. he'll end this interview not with a bang but a wimper. and my guest jennifer hooper mccarty has written a book about what really sank the titanic. the mart smart money is on key cap bree owe's schvantz. you put your left foot in, you take your left foot out. you put your left foot in and you shake it all about. who knew restless leg syndrome was so much fun. this is the colbert report. ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much. thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. thank you. thank this section, that section. you people up there. right there. ( cheers and applause ) come on. come on. ( cheers and applause ) thank you. oh, please have a seat, ladies and gentlemen. please. ( cheers and applause ) i declare with great certainty and confidence, ladies and gentlemen, that the state

(cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh.org >> it's 11:59 and 59 seconds. this happened on youtube today. at the risk of biting the hands that feeds. we're taking selfies every from funerals to mid dump on the toilet. come on guys. come on. so, we can do duck face grieving or pooping. good to

(cheers and ap captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orgnd 59 seconds. hraeupblgz, this is another reason to ride the train ♪ ♪ [laughing] >> chris: now, ironically that's actually the least threatening guy on the train. the only passenger who didn't ask anyone for money. so, let's go ahead and see how this wraps up. ♪ ♪