spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rmd meet some friends of mine ♪ where's the bus? we're gonna be late for football practice. hiya, sparky. who's that? that's my new dog, sparky. he followed me to the bus stop. wow, cool! good boy, sparky. who's my best buddy? who's my buddy? who's my buddy? ugh! you're making me sick, dude! he's part doberman and part wolf. he's the toughest dog on the mountain. no way! everybody knows that sylvester is the toughest dog in south park. [ growling ] he's not meaner than sparky! oh, yeah? let's see. hey, sylvester! sparky will kick his ass! i'll put a dollar on sylvester. you're on, dude! that's it, sparky! kick his ass! [ dogs panting ] huh. he's doing something to his ass. he's not kicking his ass, but he's definitely doing something to his ass. sparky, bad dog! mrph rmhmhm rm! what?! yeah, dude, i think your dog is gay. what do you mean? that dog is a gay homosexual. [ whimpering, growling ] he's just confused. i think the other dog's the one that's confused. mrph rmhmhm rm! sick! shut

mrph rmhmhm rm! south park and meet some friends of mine ♪ okay, children, we have a special guest today -- a woman recruiting young people for a national choir tour. now, i know that choir tours are totally stupid and lame, but please give her your full attention. go ahead. uh, thank you, mr. garrison. how are we all doing today? i can't hear you! i said, "how are we all doing?" [ farts ] eric cartman, you say "excuse me"! okay. go ahead. children, we are a national choir called "getting gay with kids." we're gonna do a big tour down in central america to help save the rain forest, and you can be a part of it. mrph rmhmhm rm. [ laughter ] kenny mccormick, you speak when you're spoken to! go ahead. we take kids from all over the country and put them in a choirwhere wee [ yawns ] to raise awareness about our vanishing rain forests. did you know over 10,000 acres of rain forest are bulldozed every year? that's right, and over 30% of the world's oxygen is made in the rain forest. miss stevens: so, who w

mrph rmhmhm rm!ds of mine ♪ mom, please, can we just leave? you have to see the eye doctor, eric. but i hate the eye doctor. he always making fun of me for being fat. you're not fat. you're big-boned. that's what i told him, but he doesn't listen to reason. eric cartman? weak. hello, eric. hi, dr. lott. how is my little piggy today? hey! don't call me little piggy! i just say that because you're my little buddy. i'm just here for an eye exam. keep the fat jokes to yourself. hop up on the chair. don't break it, now. damn it! just kidding. let's see how your eyes are doing. all you have to do is read the letters. can you see the letters? yes. all right. read them out for me. "i... am a little pig-e." hey! [ laughs ] that does it! mom! no, no. that -- that was just a weird coinci-- i do not know how that happened. "i am little pig-e." wow. what are the odds of that? all right. let's get down to business. gee, that's a good idea. my mom isn't paying you to be a comedian. let's see. which is better, one o

mrph rmhmhm rm!now, to continue, the father is indeed someone in this room. man, this feels like the longest minute of my life. oh. hey, kenny. gentlemen, the father is... mr. garrison: hey! what the hell's going on?! jimbo: it's a power outage! [ gunshots, glass shatters, thud ] is everybody okay? that sounded like a gunshot! oh, my god! look! mrph rmhmhm rm! you bastards! mephisto's been shot! is he...dead? hey, this window is shot out, too. that means the killer was not somebody in this room. then, who was it? who shot mephisto? was it the school counselor? or was it ms. crabtree? or was it -- hey! wait a minute! i didn't find out who my father was! or was it ms. broflovski? wait! he's still breathing! he's not dead! damn it, who's my father?! we have to get him to the hospital. you've got to be kidding me! come on, children. [ sighs ] oh, that poor kid. it must be hell for him, going through all this. [ sighs ] there's a murderer free in south park! we have to find out who it is before they kill

mrph rmhmhm rm! mine ♪ my little brother's trying to follow me to school again! zeepoo nonner. ike, you can't come to school with me! [ giggling ] yeah, go home, you little dildo! dude, don't call my brother a dildo! what's a dildo? i don't know. and i'll bet cartman doesn't know, either. i know what it means! well, what? i'm not telling you. what's a dildo, kenny? mrph rmhmhm rm. mrph rmh rmphm. [ laughter ] hey, yeah, that's what kyle's little brother is, all right. ow! dude, that kicks ass! yeah, check this one out. ready, ike? kick the baby. don't kick the baby. kick the baby. [ squeals ] [ yawns ] cartman, looks like you didn't get much sleep last night. that's because i was having these bogus nightmares. really? what about? well, i dreamt that i was lying in my bed, in the dark, when all of a sudden, this bright blue light filled the room. and slowly my bedroom door began to open, and then the next thing i remember, i was being drug through a hallway. then i was lying on a table, and these scar

mrph rmhmhm rm!n to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪ [ laughter ] that was awesome. yeah! would you boys like some cheesy poofs? get out of the way, mom! the "terrance & phillip thanksgiving special" is on. sure, hon. and, yeah, we want cheesy poofs! hey, terrance, looks like this might be a good place to start a new colony. it sure does, phillip. no one will oppress our religion here. [ farts ] aah! [ laughter ] you stained my pilgrim hat, butt pipe! did you guys see that? that was sweet. coming up next on "the terrance & phillip thanksgiving special," phillip farts on terrance and laughs. oh, cool! now a word from our sponsor. struthers: here in the heart of africa, children are dying, not from disease or war, but from hunger. i'm sally struthers. these children are in desperate need, and only -- hey, who's that fat chick? sally struthers, dude. shon "full house." oh. you see, here in the middle of africa, food is extremely scarce. doesn't look like she's having any trouble finding food.

spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rmuth park and meet some friends of mine ♪

mrph rmhmhm rm! meet some friends of mine ♪ today, we are going to talk about hell! hello, satan! saddam. us jews don't believe in hell. but what if we're wrong? let's go! they killed kenny! he had sins that he didn't confess! satan: no, saddam. i told you, i'm with chris now. boys, it is your christian duty to save the souls of your friends. i love you, satan. i love you, too, saddam. aah! aah! fonz, there's no way you can jump that shark with your water skis! ay! i've got to try, richie! ooh! if this guy's going to hell, who's gonna save us? well, it looks like we're gonna have to save everyone in this town ourselves! go, fonz! aaaaa-- and now, the exciting conclusion of "south park." aaaay! [ gurgling ] aah! i told him he couldn't do it. [ birds chirping ] i am saying this because we must be saved-a! the lord is powerful, and he will smote the sinners and send them to everlasting hell-a! if you do not live your life for him-a, then to the lake of fire you shall go-a! you see that, parents? your ch

mrph rmhmhm rm!redneck. i mean, rancher. hello, boys and girls. my name is rancher bob. let's all say hello to rancher bob. all: [ unenthusiastically ] hi, rancher bob. i'm pleased to show you all the wonderful world of beef. follow me. city kids get to go to museums for field trips. we get cow farms. now, out here, you can see our cattle. this is where the magic begins as the cows eat, sleep, and prepare for certain death. they look so delicious. now, here we have the slaughterhouse. this is where we turn the cows into steaks and burgers! ewww! ewww! ewww! ewww! aw, dude! anybody want a free sample? me, me, me, me! and in here, boys and girls, we have our veal ranch. [ dramatic music plays ] you see, with veal, the whole key is keeping the cows chained so they can't walk around or get any exercise. that way, their muscle tissue stays soft and makes for tender veal. wait a minute. veal is... little baby cows? yepper! then why the hell do they call it "veal"? well, if we called it "little baby cow," p

spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rmriends of mine ♪ oi! there's a king croc right there. he must be 4 meters -- 12, 13 feet long, at least. this croc has enough power in his jaws to rip my head right off. mrph! i've got to be careful. so what i'm gonna do is sneak up on it and jam my thumb in its butt[bleep] holy crap, dude! if i get bit out here, i'm 200 kilometers from the nearest hospital. i better be real careful jamming my thumb in its butt[bleep] oh, boy, he is pissed off now. go, dude, go! i'm gonna jam my thumb in its butt[bleep] now! this should really piss it off. oh, yeah, that pissed it off all right! i got to be careful! this guy rules! mprh rmhmhm rm! i told you guys. well, that was quite an angry croc, but i managed to escape with only a few bruises and a shattered left testicle. next week, we'll look for more of these beautiful creatures so we can learn more about them by pissing them off immensely. thanks for watching. dude, let's go look for crocodiles. yeah! [ australian accent ] there's bound to be s

mrph rmhmhm rm!e ♪ ♪ stinky britches ♪ you got stinky britches ♪ stinky, stinky britches what the hell are you singing? this new song by alanis morissette. i can't get it out of my head. ♪ stinky britches, you got stinky britches ♪ hello, children. ready for lunch? ♪ stinky britches, you got stinky, stinky -- ♪ eric, is there a problem? i can't get this song out of my head! "stinky britches" by alanis morissette? yeah! ♪ stinky, stinky britches children, did you say hi to mr. twig? hi, boys. how are you? when is mr. hat coming back? i told you never to say his name in my presence! but we hate mr. twig. mr. twig sucks. yeah. ♪ stinky britches it just so happens that mr. twig is far more stable than mr. hat could ever be, so he's the better puppet. he'd be better used as a coat rack. [ laughter ] how dare you?! come on, mr. twig! hello, there, children! hey, chef. hey, chef. hey, chef. ♪ you got stinky britches ♪ what did you say? he's singing some new hit song. eric, where did you hear that song? it's

mrph rmhmhm rm!on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪ gentlemen, i understand you are here to present both sides of an issue. i want to hear you both out and do this in a civil and constructive manner so i can give you both the time and attention you deserve. jimbo, why don't you begin? the south park flag. oh, not this again. we cannot change the south park flag, mayor. mayor, as i've said before, i find that flag to be racist and insensitive. chef, i respect you very much. but you have to understand that this has been the south park flag since some of our ancestors, like my great-grandfather, founded this land. that flag represents a time when blacks were persecuted by whites. how can a black man not be bothered by it? all right, chef, i'll have my assistants hold up the flag, and you tell me what exactly you find racist about it. you don't see anything wrong with that flag? what about the baseball team the cleveland indians? should they change their name because it's racist? yeah. n

mrph rmhmhm rm!♪ well, tom and mary, you've made it to the final round. are you ready to play for the grand prize? we're ready, bob! we're ready, bob! any particular prize you're hoping for? well, hawaii's nice. but tahiti would be fun, too! oh, anywhere would be great. polynesian diggities. i wish you luck. here we go. what is the thin flap of skin that runs from the base of the penis to the scrotum? [ mid-tempo music plays ] oh. oh, wait. wait. i know this. the upper vascular hood. i'm sorry, but you're absolutely right! [ laughs ] [ cheers and applause ] fred, tell them what they've won. announcer: tom and mary, put on your cowboy hats, because you're going to beautiful south park, colorado. where? that's right. just in time for cow days, the world's 45th-biggest rodeo and carnival. every fall, south park celebrates cow days, and you're gonna be a part of it. you'll stay at the fabulous super 7 hotel on bernhard road and enjoy festivities including prizes, rides, and, of course, the world-famous r

mrph rmhmhm rm! meet some friends of mine ♪ i don't want to go to this stupid party! come on, stan, you're gonna have a great time. no, you guys are gonna have a great time. whenever there's a party, the adults get to have fun while the kids spend the night locked in the basement eating stale pretzels. well, your mom and i don't get out much, so you'll just have to bear through it. [ doorbell rings ] hello! welcome! m'kay? this is already a wild party! yeah, well, sorry we had to bring the kid along. we had nowhere else to put him. oh, that's okay. i've got a special kids' room down in the basement. aw! be sure to help yourself to the crab soufflé and the -- juanita! juanita! we need some more finger sandwiches! i don't want to hang out in the kids' room. i won't know anybody! it'll be good for you to make new friends. you can't just hang out with your buddy kyle all the time. people will think you guys are, you know, funny. i bet you'll have a great time. here we go. it's right in here. [ gasps ] [