there's tape in there, cotton balls, half of a nerf football, but it works, right? totally.occasion? and old friend from canada is in town, and i'm meeting him for a drink. ooh! somebody you went to degrassi with? no. actually, he was my first boyfriend. simon. i thought he was the coolest guy ever. he smelled like drakkar. he could ollie on a skateboard. and he had the most amazing collection of hard rock cafe t-shirts. we spent the whole summer madly in love. tell me more. tell me more. like, did he have a car? so is he the guy who... how shall i say this like a gentleman? robin, did he take your maple leaf? no, it wasn't like that. sounds to me like he gave you your first "o canada" face. narrator: this went on for a really long time. some of the jokes were elegant and well-crafted... wait, wait. did he break up with you and tell you he's just not that inuit? (laughing) ...others were crude and ill-formed... um, something about fur trapping. ...and others were obvious but needed to be said... did you ride his zamboni? oh! come on! oh! well, i'm sorry, guys. it was all ver

i got a nerf gun last year and i was shooting soft pellets to try to get him to go away.he problem is this. it's not a good bird sound. he's a mockingbird, so he does nasty sounds from the neighborhood. whatever he's heard. and he's like known on our block for doing car alarms. so this is what i hear in the middle of the night and i'm not joking. he'll be like -- [ mimicking car alarm ] [ laughter ] right outside my window. >> jay: i think what this is called is postpartum depression. [ laughter ] i think what happened is -- whatever happened -- >> i'm not making this up. >> jay: whatever happened -- >> i can't sleep with ear plugs because i have to have the baby monitor. i'm screwed. [ light laughter ] >> jay: yeah. did you try -- >> we tarped the tree. >> jay: tarped the tree. >> tarped the tree. he still comes back. but this year, here's what we've got. i bought a super soaker. right? [ applause ] because i have heard that this is what you can do is like hose them. i was like, no, i need more range. >> jay: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> because when i open the door he he

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