i'm roy wood, jr., and this has been "cp time." we're for the culture -- and ribs. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ( choking ) damn! that's spicey! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: roy wood, jr., everyone! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) good to see you again! likewise! please. cosmopolitan? nope! i'll have a stella artois. ♪ your stella, miss. thank you! ♪ wild night, huh? white russian? nah, gary, gimme a stella art-toes. excuse me... good choice. well, changing can do a little good... dude abides. so, we hathat's the guac sguac smasher? the guac smasher! uh. i always joked... ..man working at chipotle definitely gave me some muscles. i mean, i worked at a sandwich shop before and... ...the guacamole came in a bag, in a freezer, and who knows what was in it. you know what's in all of this food. yes. gonna add onions... ...and cilantro. jalapenos. get all those ingredients in there. it is fresh! [laugh] fresh every day. that rocking chair would look grahh, new house, eh?e. well, you should definitely see how geico could h

i'm roy wood, jr., and this has been "cp time." for the culture -- and ribs. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ( choking ) damn! that's spicey! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: roy wood, jr., everyone! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) hey, how ya doing? uh, phil. are you guys good with brakes? we're ok. just ok? we got a saying here. if the brakes don't stop it, something will. that's not a real saying. it is around here. i wrote it. just ok is not ok. especially when it comes to your network. at&t is america's best wireless network, according to america's biggest test. now with 5g evolution. the first step to 5g. more for your thing. that's our thing. i'll is pepsi okay? did you just ask if pepsi's okuur? excuse me...? of course pepsi is okuur. is she saying okay? no, no, no... okuurrr! what kind of word is that? okuuhh okree okurrr like this... okuurrrrr! okuurrrrr okuur, okuur, okuur okuur, okuurrr okuuurrrr [loud soda slurp] what? i wanted a pepsi... okuur that's what i'm talking about. eeeeoww. ♪cardi b-"i like it" getti

i'm roy wood, jr. this has been "c.p.member, ain't got more that you know with bed in their house, must have been friends. >> trevor: roy wood, jr. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) almost time for me to go. well, what if i... drove me home? [♪] what if we lost track of time? [♪] what if we took a leap of faith? whoo-hoo! what if you... missed my flight next week? [♪] the all-new rav4. toyota. let's go places. you canbut if you did,on love. it'd cost the exact same as a reese's. turns out love's kinda inexpensive. not sorry. reese's. [thinking] they made the original, hot? [thinking] hot...hot... ♪oohh, hot stuff all over my nachos♪ ♪walkin' like a taco ♪driving over potholes ♪hotter than a pot roast ♪fingers on my hot chips ♪red handed come on man ♪now i'm a need some chopsticks ♪speaking of desire babe ♪preachin' to the choir ♪man my tongue is doing fine ♪but the roof is on fire ♪tell me why ♪i never wanna hear you say ♪i want it that way the original, now it's hot. look around. with artificial intelligence,

i'm roy wood, jr. this has been "c.p. and, remember, ain't got more that you know with bed in their house, must have been friends. >> trevor: roy wood, jr. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ oh, pete!?! c'mon man. what? we said pantyhose right? here, eat this... creamy snickers®. you could use a little smoothness. pete? pete zagorin? oh, that's peter. i taught him social studies. nope. not peter zagorin. get smooth with the fresh-ground nut butters in new creamy snickers®. [thinking] they made the original, hot? [thinking] hot...hot... ♪oohh, hot stuff all over my nachos♪ ♪walkin' like a taco ♪driving over potholes ♪hotter than a pot roast ♪fingers on my hot chips ♪red handed come on man ♪now i'm a need some chopsticks ♪speaking of desire babe ♪preachin' to the choir ♪man my tongue is doing fine ♪but the roof is on fire ♪tell me why ♪i never wanna hear you say ♪i want it that way the original, now it's hot. to severe plaque psoriasis get clearer. and stay clearer. most patients who saw 90% clearer skin a

i'm roy wood, jr. speaking to you from the capitol of black america, the corner booth of a waffle house in birmingham, alabama. i heard this is the one dr. king stopped at when he came from selma. >> mmm! we black people are gathered here to once again ask ourselves a question -- where we is? ( laughter ) we're glad the government shutdown has ended and the government opened again because this shutdown hit black america especially hard. i was at the airport and i saw a lot of black people working for free. i'm surprised you didn't catch t.s.a. agent singing airport spirituals. ♪ shoes off and laptops out ♪ when you bring the carry-on home ♪ ♪ to the tune of swing lo sweet chariot ). but we won't let it shadow us. the state of shit is black as shit in. november, more black congress people than ever were elected to the house of representatives! ( cheers and applause ) >> u.s.a.! u.s.a.! u.s.a.! >> okay, we know where we live. and we're even gaining representation abroad. meagan markel is now the second b

old and young, but that may not be a good thing, as roy wood, jr.parkland to congress, young people across the country are getting political. the 2018 midterm elections had the highest youth turnout since 1982. that was the year they voted to legalize open carry for boom boxes. college and teenage activism is on the rise, but how young is too young? >> when you say teenage, how old are we talk? >> no! no! get out of her r. kelly! i mean too young politically. >> hey, guys, i want to make a video abou. >> his video we need communism s has over 2 million views and that's the tip of the iceberg. >> on my channel, i have 4,500,000 views total. >> you get better ratings than "the daily show." >> yeah, a lot of people don't watch tv anymore. >> excuse me. excuse me a second. hey, trevor noah, hey, what's up, man? this is roy, i quit. but his communist agenda has received criticism from a hard hitting political scholar. >> the one line, we need commune i'm -- no, no, no. meet the conservative capitalist aka at a time. >> communism assumes infallibility in

and roy wood jr. will tell us the best things to steal from black people. ( laughter ) but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. the border wall. it's now official-- neither mexico nor congress will pay for it. ( laughter ) so, like many of you after valentine's day, trump is turning to plan "b." >> this is cnn breaking news. >> the breaking news this hour, the senate majority leader, mitch mcconnell, dramatically revealing on the senate floor, the white house confirming that president trump will sign the spending bill, averting another government shutdown but, also, will declare a national emergency to secure the money he wants for a border wall. >> trevor: that's right, people. president trump is finally declaring a national emergency at the border. which is weird because, normally in an emergency, you don't spend months debating whether or not something is an emergency. ( laughter ) like, it's normally pretty clear. like, if somebody is breaking into your house you wouldn't call 911 and be li

roy wood, jr. and michael kosta, everybody! we'll be right back!plause ) this is game fuel. it's domination in a can. ahh. taste like loser tears. new mountain dew amp game fuel. victory in a can. i will destroy everything you love. if grimmel succeeds, there won't be dragons left. suit up gang. [ drums beating ] [ snarling ] cute. we have to protect the hidden world. show them what you got, bud. god, i love that dragon. kick off the new year with the new iphone included from t-mobile. the amazing iphone xr is perfect for all those new year, new you selfies. and only t-mobile has unlimited with iphone xr included for just 40 bucks. so get the iphone you love most from the most loved in wireless. bring your family to t-mobile and get the amazing iphone xr included for just $40 per line. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." let's talk about social media. what started as a cute way to share your brunch photos is now tearing the world apart. from an epidemic of fake news to the lincoln memorial standoff going viral before anyone knew the facts,

>> i didn't do anything. >> what's up, i'm roy wood, jr. >> i'm michael kosta.ou pumped for super bowl liii-i-i-i -- >> yeah! kosta, i'm so pumped, i've got a tattoo of the word super bowl on my ass in chinese. check it out. >> all that says is oil change, five bucks. >> sounds like a good deal to me. >> welcome to another edition of i apologize for talking while you were talking brought to you by planters. >> that's right, this year, mr. peanut appears in the super bowl for the first time ever. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> always there in clinch time -- >> wow! mr. peanut flies into a rod's room and a rod doesn't bat an eye. >> if you were dating j. lo, nothing would bother you either. got peanuts, j. lo, life is good. >> i like this ad, much better than the unedit version which is 20 minutes of mr. peanut trying to parallel park that bus. >> yeah, that was pretty good. moving on, the ads are only part of the super bowl. kosta, did you know there's also a football game? >> there's, new england patriots versus the l.a. rams, east coast versus west coast. reminds me of the beef be

>> trevor: roy wood, jr., everybody, we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) i'll take a coke.s pepsi, ok? is pepsi, ok!? [laughter] are puppies, ok? is a shooting star, ok? is the laughter of a small child, ok? pepsi's more than, ok! it's okayyyy okurrrr ♪ i like it okay, what have we learned today? you want a pepsi? i want a pepsi. there you go. okurrr. aaahh. i've got to come up with my own catch phrase. okayyy what's a gig of data? well, it's a whole day's worth of love songs. [ baby crying ] or 300 minutes of baby videos. a gig goes a long way. that's why xfinity mobile lets you ...pay for data one gig at a time. and with millions of wifi hotspots included, you'll pay even less for data. or if you need a lot, we have unlimited, too. you could save hundreds of dollars when you switch to xfinity mobile. it's simple, easy, awesome. click, call or visit a store today. well, what if i... drove me home? [♪] what if we lost track of time? [♪] what if we took a leap of faith? whoo-hoo! what if you... missed my flight next week? [♪] the all-new rav4. toyota. let's go places. when d

>> trevor: roy wood, jr., everybody, we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) i'll take a coke.si ok? is pepsi, ok? is pepsi, ok!? [laughter] are puppies, ok? is a shooting star, ok? is the laughter of a small child, ok? pepsi's more than, ok! it's okayyyy okurrrr ♪ i like it okay, what have we learned today? you want a pepsi? i want a pepsi. there you go. okurrr. aaahh. i've got to come up with my own catch phrase. okayyy 60% of women wear the wrong size pad and can experience leaks. you don't have to. with always my fit, try the next size up and get up to 20% better coverage day or night. because better coverage means better protection. always well, what if i... drove me home? [♪] what if we lost track of time? [♪] what if we took a leap of faith? whoo-hoo! what if you... missed my flight next week? [♪] the all-new rav4. toyota. let's go places. the all-new rav4. for just 20 bucksways toit's deli...ly son of a biscuit. well, that worked out. bring home dinner with any of kfc's 20 dollar fill ups. look around. with artificial intelligence, we are not crawling or walking. we are

christ who is in the wood the people those wounded by a pew should the scandal lead to be strong in faith in this moment. well joining us now from vatican city is rory challenge so roy this is going to be a closely watched summit to see if the catholic church comes up with real reforms or whether as some of the abuse survivors seventy feel this might be just a p.r. exercise yeah a lot of them feel that this is perhaps just it's all king show and that the concrete measures that the pope has promised is advocating for are not going to materialize they have just spoken to me in the last ten fifteen minutes or so to discuss the documents the they say is the kind of working recommendations that are being discussed in this meeting already it's being called a document of reflection points twenty one causes long and it has things like discussing a practical handbook within the catholic church for dealing with cases developing listening structures and that sort of thing now and the survivors who are just spoke to are upset vats what it doesn't contain is any talk of zero tolerance which is something that they have been advocating for basically that priests who have abused. k