sarah paulson is here.let's be still" the head and the heart from the sony stage. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we have a big show for you tomorrow. the whole cast of the movie the monuments men will be here: george clooney, bill murray, cate blanchett, john goodman, bob balaban, and even matt damon will dare to show his stupid face on the program. if he thinks i forgot what happened last time, he's got another thing coming. you know what i'm talking about. our first guest tonight went from being a dumb guy on "that 70's show" to becoming a very smart guy who now owns about three-quarters of the internet. you can watch him work every thursday night on "two and a half men" please welcome ashton kutcher. >> we love you ashton! >> you're so skinny. you're so thin right now. you're like my cousin that i see at family reunions, pot lucks and stuff. every time i see you, it's like a different state of jimmy. and you're so thin right now. >> jimmy: don't worry, old jimmy will be back. >> are you just working out? >> oh,

tonight, ashton kutcher, from "12 years a slave", sarah paulson, and music from the head and the heartto and the cletones. and now, i just thought i would let you know, here's jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm host of the show. thanks for watching. i know a lot of you are here just hiding out from the cops, but that's fine. you be cool, isle be cool. it will be cool. an estimated 700,000 fans lined the streets to cheer the super bowl champion seahawks. they say it was the largest gathering in the history of the city of the seattle. i think 700,000 is more people than live in the city of seattle. i don't know about parade. didn't anyone consider it might hurt the broncos' feelings.

tonight, ashton kutcher, from "12 years a slave", sarah paulson, and music from the head and the heart the cletones. and now, i just thought i would let you know, here's jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm host of the show.

oz will be with us, as will sarah paulson, from "captain phillips," oscar nominee barkhad abdi will joine lone bellow, and the head and the heart. and one week from tonight, next thursday, we will be joined by the cast of the movie "the monuments men." george clooney, bill murray, cate blanchett, john goodman, bob balaban, and, unfortunately, matt damon will be here too. it was a package deal. hopefully his flight will get canceled or something. and one more programming note. the week of march 10th we're taking our show on the road to austin, texas for the annual south by southwest music festival. a lot of people have been asking when they can get tickets. the answer is now. tickets for the shows are available starting now at kimmelinaustin.com. we hope to see you there. that will be a lot of fun. so go and get your tickets and join us there. [ applause ] >> jimmy: after ushering a generation of teenage girls into puberty with a beguiling combination of basketball and dance, our first guest has gone on to big success in the movies. his new comedy is called "that awkward moment," it opens

wednesday ashton kutcher, sarah paulson and the head and the heart.ith the cast of "the monuments men," george clooney, bill murray, cate blanchett, john goodman, bob balance ban, and human door-stop matt damon will be here. [ cheers and applause ] and this is going to be exciting. you know all these big companies spend multimillions of dollars on commercials yesterday but esurance did an interesting thing. they saved 30% on their commercial by running it after the game when nobody was watching, and they're going to give the $1.5 million they saved to one lucky person, which could be you, on wednesday night. all you have to do is enter -- to enter is tweet esurancesave30 with the hashtag in front of it and wait for a knock on the door to see if -- we're going to hand someone $1.5 million. it could be you, guillermo. >> wow. that would be great. >> jimmy: there's guillermo. we're on top of our game here tonight. [ laughter ] our first guest this evening rode the f word like a triple crown-winning thoroughbred into our national consciousness. now she is