this is: ♪ stephen colbert presents 2001 and one a rock odyssey. featuring jack white. ers and applause] let me cut to the chase. okay. can we talk show business for a second? >> yes. >> stephen: last year on won a grammy. >> congratulations. >> stephen: thank you very much. this year i did not win a grammy. i want to tell you it wasn't as. good can you guarantee me the song we cut is going to win a grammy? >> it's hard to do f. could you do that -- >> stephen: you are jack white. how many grammys have you got? >> a couple stpaoefrpblgts nine. grammy factory that's when they say about jack white. grammy factory. >> really? >> stephen: don't me modest. not going to help me. >> if you could plan to win a grammy, not everybody would do that. >> stephen: not everybody is jack white. not everybody is me. i say it's time you put them on the belt. all in. take your balls put them right on the belt and say jack white is all in. i stake my reputation on stephen colbert winning a grammy. >> if i do that and it doesn't work out, it's a big risk for me staoefrpblgt it's a bigger ris

. >>> plus, stephen colbert in a vivid display shows why palin was correct in her telling of the storyf paul revere's ride. you don't want to miss this one. let's get to the news at 5:30 here at 30 rock in new york city. president obama says he will soon make an announcement about the number of troops he plans to withdraw from afghanistan. after meeting with his national security team yesterday, the president said the u.s. has already accomplished large parts of its mission in afghanistan. >> by us killing osama bin laden, getting al qaeda back on its heels, stabilizing much of the country in afghanistan so the taliban can't take it over, it's now time for us to recognize that we've accomplished a big chunk of our mission. and that it's time for the afghans to take more responsibility. >> a lot of people reading into that statement. and about whether or not the u.s. is, quote, winning this war. >> we're making progress. they'll try to come back, though. that's why they say the gains while significant are fragile. >> and we have have not had a declared victory in a war with the possible

(laughter) what was it like for a jack white to work with a stephen colbert? . (laughter) >> it was very pleasurable from start to finish, i got to say. >> stephen: me too, man, me too. >> the finish, especially, the finish. (laughter) >> stephen: okay. now my first record which obviously everybody knows is charlene i'm right behind you. and the new record is called charlene two i'm over you. >> parenthesis i'm over you. >> stephen: exactly. do you think this will finally send the message to her that i'm over her? or should i do another record crawled charlene did you get my last record? >> yeah. >> stephen: you think it's done it. >> yeah, or maybe just move on to another girl might be a good idea. >> stephen: it's up to her. >> yeah. >> stephen: okay. so did we ever record a song. >> yeah. >> stephen: okay, good, good. i don't remember that part. do you have it. do you have the record? >> yes, this is it. >> stephen: all right. let's show the folks. ready folks this is it. this is the new record. i think the other side. (cheers and applause) charlene two i'm

what made you want to work with stephen colbert recording artist? , malleable. >> stephen: i want you to make me the next bob seeger. >> all right staoerpblgts on three, name your favorite bob seeger song. ready? >> okay one, two, three. >> two is on my mind. >> stephen: all of them. which what is not to love? >> i like them. >> stephen: born in kathmandu, a little too tall, could have used a few pounds. any time you want to jump in. night moves. ♪ night moves, he got the fire down below ♪ ♪ rock 'n' roll never forgets. ♪ ♪ down on main street. ♪ hollywood nights those hollywood hills. ♪ we've got tonight who needs tomorrow. >> you are familiar with his catalog. >> stephen:. ♪ i got that old time rock 'n' roll that kind of music just soojs the soul ♪ ♪ who wants to go to fire lake. >> i haven't heard fire lake in a while ♪ like a rock. clearly jack liked what he heard. tune in tomorrow as i close the deal and land my big record contract. i love to watch her strut. in the dramatic another part of stephen colbert presents 2001 and wun a rock odyssey. f

my picture down here is clearly sending the subliminal message "stephen colbert thinks jimmy fallon should have an emmy." well, i do not think that. left laughter you know what, jimmy, for the sake of our best friendship, i choose to be flattered that you took something i worked hard to create and used it for your own gain. and since i know you were on "the daily show" last night promoting your new book of thank you notes, i'd like the take this new opportunity to introduce my new segment, stephen colbert's thank you notes. [cheers and applause] thank you, jimmy fallon, for appropriating my face to boost your own emmy chances. i don't know why you'd need to, after all, segments in which audience members lick trombones for $10 scream broadcast exlengths. [laughter] may riding my coattails in your screener bring you an emmy as surely as riding queen latifah's coattails in taxi brought you an oscar. love, stephen, your best friend until september 3rd. after that citgo time, mother [bleeped]. we'll be right back. >> stephen:, everybody. thank you very much. folks, my guest tonight speaks out a

stephen colbert got his ice cream flavor. tonight with jim by we're going to -- with jimmy we're going town vail my new flavor. it's called awesome heath bar (bleep) all y'all dhip. yeah that's right. [laughter] i don't have ice cream. [laughter] we were off last week because we prefer not to work. [laughter] we decided to come back last week because they wouldn't pay us. [laughter] if we did not. kidding. work of passion this whole -- [laughter] um -- speaking of passion what is the first story hear about when you get back? joan of anchorage is back just in time to kill my post trump sadness disorder. >> sarah palin is raising new speculations about her intentions. >> after stealing the thunder at the annual rolling thunder bike rally she kicked off her one nation bus tour with a stop at the national archives to see the decoration of independence and all the way reporters were chasing behind her with the same question. >> jon: miss palin, why are we following your bus? what is wrong with us? [laughter] oh, god she's acting u

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, look, i've always said that if you want to see the best of stephen colbertve to do is watch "late night with jimmy fallon." [ laughter ] i've always said that. [ cheers and applause ] our show is the one stop shop for all your colbert needs, and i know stephen is a big fan of our show. in fact, here he is, actually doing one of our bits. he's writing a thank you note. ♪ >> thank you, jimmy fallon, for appropriating my face to boost your own emmy chances. may riding my coattails in your screener bring you an emmy, as surely as riding queen latifah's coattails in "taxi" brought you an oscar. >> jimmy: well, stephen, i hope a few cheap laughs are worth the damage you did to our temporary best friendship. [ light laughter ] but i get it. it's good natured ribbing, a little sparring 'twixt late night raconteurs. but stephen, i don't want us to be enemies about the emmys. i don't want us to be ememmys. i want us to be friends about the emmys. i want to be friememmys. which brings us to tonight's word. friememmys. folks, we all know things can get a little heated b

the guy in the oatmeal box is look at me. >> stephen: i'm hanging up. >> colbert, wait. >> stephen: yeslove you. >> stephen: thanks. i don't know what to -- what is that noise. >> (bleep). i gotta go. i put a dvd in my toaster oven to rewind it and now the breakfast nook is on fire. where is the extinguisher? put it out with oatmeal. now the oatmeal is on fire. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: kids, listen to your elders, they are a font of wisdom. and elders, lay off the d twizzlers. the twist you can't resist. >> stephen:ç bell come back -- welcome back, everybody. my guest tonight has had tv shows on espn, msnbc and now current tv. i'm interview him quick before he is on animal planet. please welcome keith olberman. [cheers and applause] whoo! boom, boom, boom! [cheers and applause] what is up, my man. good to see you. [cheers and applause] good to see you again, keith. >> good to see you, congressman. >> stephen: thank you. sir, welcome back. >> thank you kindly. >> stephen: to television. the cameras are the big thing. i know. >> stephen: speak slowly and clearly into the mic. >>

the guy in the oatmeal box is look at me. >> stephen: i'm hanging up. >> colbert, wait. >> stephen: yese you. >> stephen: thanks. i don't know what to -- what is that noise. >> (bleep). i gotta go. i put a dvd in my toaster oven to rewind it and now the breakfast nook is on fire. where is the extinguisher? put it out with oatmeal. now the oatmeal is on fire. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: kids, listen to your elders, they are a font of wisdom. and elders, lay off the d ♪ ♪ one, two, three, hit me [ male announcer ] a jump-start for your game. not your nerves. ♪ watch me, heh ♪ watch me! ♪ i'm super [ male announcer ] the proven push. stamina in a bottle. the original gatorade. ♪ sometimes i feel so nice [ male announcer ] and thirst-quenching protein that helps restore your body while cooling you down. ♪ prime. perform. recover. the g series from gatorade. [ male announcer ] when you're looking for a twist, crack open a bud light lime. ♪ it's a fraction of the hope but it's hard to control ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] the great taste of bud light, with a twist. bud light lime. all the refr

i hear what you're saying i think that there are so many other i mean this is stephen colbert doing something a little bit silly we have governments trying to trying to enforce laws preventing citizens from banding together and having political speech we have governments trying to undermine how people campaign and run against incumbents we have governments doing things like this i am less concerned with stephen colbert doing the silly was seduced on. saturday to the unions but it still bothers me is that we have governments state governments are trying to tell people they should leave the one on the side of the road and let them die and you think i've got it right here in. our guys thanks for joining us tonight. they are going to get a break from the from back tomorrow maybe jacobson from new media strategies is going back for our friday edition of happy hour in the meantime don't forget some from a fan of the a lot of show on facebook and follow us on twitter and if you missed any of the night's show or any other nights in the sky fell in you tube dot com lastly on the show coming up next is

as a joke, a way to call attention to this, stephen colbert wants to start his own super pack and talking about this later this morning and testifying, as a matter of fact at the fec. what is interesting about this is that in the last couple of days, some campaign finance activi activists are actually going to be testifying against and they have been acting against stephen colbert in the forming of the super pack because they think say what he is trying could open up the flood gates to more money in the political process and they say that is not a good idea. so we will be seeing what kind of antics going on at the fec later today. >> we can only imagine how this is going to play out. >> we can only imagine. >> reporter: at least it's good for a laugh but we might not all be laughing, depending on how this plays out on the upcoming campaign. >> point well made. jim, thanks. >>> your next political update in an hour. always get all of the political news 24/7 at cnn/politics.com. >>> all right. as we speak, the royal newlyweds are crossing the pond, shall we say, en route to canada. prince w

stephen colbert has one by ben and jerry's. it is a food stuff, whatever.s as ice cream. what i want you to do is maybe try both and see blindfold taste test which one you think you enjoy the most. do you mind? >> well, i feel unanybodied by this but i'll do it. already feeling deeply uncomfortable. >> here we go. this is the first spoon. >> thank you. this is weird. all right. go. describe it. >> it is sort of coffee-ish, i would say. >> here you go. try this one. >> that's just crunchy and fairly bland. >> i'll have the first one. >> are you sure about that? >> yeah. >> unoriginal tool. this is -- i'm so upset. >> take the blindfold off. this is ridiculous. the first one you had was that dumb american dream. stephen colbert's great ice cream. and number two the s late night snack. of course, the first one is ice cream cone with chocolate and vanilla. the second one you had was fudge covered potato chip. >> we have almost exhausted the ice cream debate here. can you say what you're good at, please? get that guitar and play us out. with a bit of fallon magi

. >> last summer, our network carried the stephen colbert-jon stewart rally on the mall in washington. talk to me about your network plans to be involved in active in the coming elections. >> is something of great interest to jon and stephen and their audiences. we have this in the annual -- biannual thing we call in decision. our next round of in decision is coming up. that is what we call our coverage. they have become very important stops for a lot of people who are looking to send a message. despite the fact that we are a comedy channel, they will be right in the thick of it. we are not a news organization. we are there to make people laugh and take a look at the world and ultimately make fun of it. that is what they will be doing, but we look forward to it. having an election year on comedy central is our equivalent of an olympic year. we get a lot of attention. more viewers watch us because they like the olympics. it is a good time for us. >> you have a new book coming down -- there is a new book coming out. are you concerned that a gop house or the people that follow them might

stephen colbert said raising a child is like wrestling a small but relentless opponent.an't beat children in a logic battle. their simple minds are better at it. and on getting them to eat the right stuff, colbert says, accept that waffles are vegetables. and ben stiller, who said, getting a tie, that's when you feel like you've actually become a dad. i did it for my dad for years, and now it's ben getting the ties. >> watchle watch. s are vegetables. got to remember that one. >>> and when we come back here, dads are supposed to be brave, but should that include bullfighting? one of our dads here gives it a try. by a heart valve problem. today we have pradaxa to reduce the risk of a stroke caused by a clot. in a clinical trial, pradaxa 150 mg reduced stroke risk 35% more than warfarin. and with pradaxa, there's no need for those regular blood tests. pradaxa is progress. pradaxa can cause serious, sometimes fatal, bleeding. don't take pradaxa if you have abnormal bleeding, and seek immediate medical care for unexpected signs of bleeding, like unusual bruising. pradaxa may

that, however, right in the center of your screen appears to be stephen colbert. not quite sure what he's doing there but that is a budget deficit hearing going on on capitol hill. >> he's testified before. it's interesting to see him back there again. getting veterans back to work with about 27% of young veterans without a job. how the government can play a key role. >>> a judge has decided whether the arizona shooting suspect can be forced to take medication. >>> a security scare for the president of france. what happened as he was shaking hands in the city receipt outside paris. >>> sunshine for many. it will be warmer today. 70s and 80s. temperatures will continue it go up as we head into the holiday weekend. >>> defense secretary robert gates retires today after nearly five years on the job. al son burns -- alison burns has the sendoff. >> reporter: let's get to a live look. the formal retirement ceremony is underway for the man analysts in washington, d.c. are calling the best defense secretary in u.s. history. president obama is speaking. let's listen. >> a

really has been great recently do you think that it's a little easier for people like him and stephen colbert because they are comedians the entire idea is to entertain it where we still see some of our cable news channels and still try to claim that they're fair and balanced. they are a news channel there's just struggling with a bit of that identity. yeah that's one component i mean more and more people are getting skeptical if you have the news in the name if you have to keep repeating that you're fair and balanced and people will start wondering why do you have to do that jon stewart is on comedy central is doing a show which is not calling itself a news show people seem to know more about what's actually going on by watching that than by watching bill o'reilly that's what's so remarkable so i think people are increasingly cynical and i think you're absolutely right on all points that people are just not necessarily tuned into this really take yourself seriously type of news. all right i guess when i got to start writing some better jokes than david thank you so much for joining us tonigh

superpac. >> stephen: yes, the chair charity i'm interested in these days is colbertsuperpac. all right. okay. [laughter] how about this one. this is another question to have. >> how does the current viacom, comedy central review and approval process for the show work. >> stephen: there's no approval. i say what i want. >> that's what they are asking. >> stephen: i can prove it. how can i prove they had no approval over what i said. head of viacom sumner redstone is zeemon spawn who feasts on young --ç children. they would not approve of that. what else have we got? let's try that one right there. >> if the show stopped covering it, would the pac continue to exist and be active? >> stephen: that's kind of philosophical? that's like asking what is the sound of one hand clapping while the other hand takes corporate contributions. [laughter] how long before we get our answer because the clock is ticking? >> they have 60 days so end of june, beginning of july. >> stephen: that would be perfect for my bus tour. [laughter] trevor potter, thank you so much. attorney trevor