i'm trevor noah. today is tuesday, the 17th of november, which means there's only 64 days left until donald trump and mike pence can stop pretending they're friends. anyway, coming up on tonight's show: why this thanksgiving could be your last. how trump might still win this election. and kevin hart joins me on the show for one of the most fun interviews i've ever had. so let's do this people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> announcer: from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah." >> trevor: look, there's no denying there's a lot of heavy stuff in the news right now. but before we get to that, let's kick it off with a fun crime story that's out of this world. and now that i hear that, it probably sounded like it has something to do with outer space, which it doesn't. no, it's not out of this world. it's pretty cool, though. >> a wild chase worthy of the big screen. the suspect in a multimillio

i mean, hello, trevor noah. i've never met you. >> trevor: okay, that's a little weird. thank you for joining us. let's get straight into it. you say you witnessed election fraud. >> yeah, it was crazy, man. so i was down in philadelphia, right. so i was counting ballots in philadelphia, right? then on my right, i saw a dude wearing a joe biden t-shirt, and he was tearing up ballots for donald trump! and i asked him, "i say, hey, bro, what are you doing in? and he said, "i'm committing voter fraud for joe biden. it was crazy. said it just like that. >> trevor: wow, that is really crazy and very specific. >> and it wasn't just that! i looked to my left, and there was joe biden! joe biden was standing right there with a bunch of black panthers, and they were xeroxing ballots for him! and i said, "are you joe biden?!" and he looked at me and said, "yeah, this is a true story!" then i was so messed up by that, man, i was so messed up, i went outside for a smoke. and there in the parking lot was a karate sensei, right? and he was there with his whole class, and they were just

i'm still trevor noah. wood, jr. >> no, you're roy wood, jr. >> trevor: anyway, the votes are still being counted and here are some of the latest results that have just come in. trump has officially won the state of kansas. meanwhile, joe biden has won the state of new hampshire. and in south carolina, republican lindsey graham has defeated democratic challenger jamie harrison. not really a big surprise. the south has continued to keep a confederate monument. makes sense. before we wait for more numbers to come in, let's go to awe word winning author, professor, sociologist and 2020 recipient of the mcarthur genius grant, dr. tressie mcmillan cottom. >> hi, trevor, how are you this evening? >> trevor: how are you? i feel that should be title from now on, dr. genius. forget my name, i'm interest genius and that's all you shall refer to me as. congratulations. >> thank you so much. it's been a wild ride, hasn't it. >> trevor: it has been a crazy, crazy, crazy ride. what do you make of everything we've seen so

york city to your couch somewhere in the world this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah>> trevor: right now the coronavirus is giving us good and bad news, like getting laid at the family reunion. let's get straight to the bad news. >> we're passing a staggering 10 million covid 19 infections, the highest in any nation. past week, 74 americans were diagnosed every minute. >> countries across europe are struggling to keep covid 19 at bay. france has reported its highly daily death toll since the start of the second wave, and the weekly death toll in england and wales has jumped by 41%, sur surpassing 1,000 for the first time in june. >> in utah overcrowding intensive care units forcing the governor to declare a new state of emergency. >> i am placing the entire state of utah under a mask mandate until further notice. >> trevor: that's right. corona is blowing up in europe and america again. in fact, it's rampaging across the western world so hard that scientists have had to invent new shades of red for the covid maps. right now the midwest is blood meets fire engine but t

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah. >> trevor: so, election day is over, but because it's 2020, election week has just begun. and that means it's time for more election coverage in our continuing segment "votegasm 2020: the awkward day after." let's kick it off with really the only news right now. joe biden looks like he's on president of the united states. at the time i'm saying this, he has leading in enough states to win the whole thing, and it may even be declared tonight. in fact, you might even know, watching this right now, if the election is over. and if you do, don't tell me! no spoilers! i like this feeling of stress. now, this is all happening after a chaotic, nerve-wracking election night that featured all sorts of weird moments, predictions flipping left and right, ballots being delivered with a police escort, steve kornacki's khaki butt. but maybe what's weirdest is that after all of that, the night actually ended up going mostly as everyone expected. trump jumped ahead early in a lot of states because re

this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with the coronavirus, the reason we are all throwing dinner parties in a parking lot. right now things are looking pretty dire. there have been over 11 million recorded cases in the u.s. and one-third of all americans know someone who has died of covid-19. and with the holidays just around the corner there is both good news and bad news. the bad news, of course, is that you won't be able to spend time with your extended family. the good news is you won't have to spend time with your extended family. and this morning there was also some really good news. >> this morning another potential breakthrough in the battle against covid. a vaccine developed by moderna showing a 94.5 percent efficacy rate in a trial with 30,000 participates. >> one big difference between the moderna vaccine and one developed by pfizer that also reported very promising results in early trial, moderna says its vac even doesn't need to be expect at extremely low temperatures to remain stable. that could help with shipping a

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's get straight into the big news over the weekend. yeah, i finally learned how to dunk -- boom! turns out you just need to make the net a little closer to the ground. don't know why i didn't think about that. also this happens. >> cnn projects joseph r. biden, jr. elected the 46th president of the president of the united states. >> there was jubilee as people flooded the streets celebrating from the white house to the west coast. >> celebrations in the streets. in new york city the try-state and across the world. >> in the streets of the largest cities, today a party. in president trump's hometown new york city, biden supporters shouted out their windows. >> there were bands and champagne. >> whoo! >> costumes and tears. ♪ ♪ an impromptu dance party broke out. had sweet caroline sing alongs and nah nah nah goodbye sing along. >> trevor: oh, yeah, what a day, what a day, what a day, now, people were out in the streets dancing, they were partying, singing sweet caroline

new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with christmas. the only day of the year that you hope an intruder will sneak into your home. yesterday was the official start of the holiday season. as new york city put up its world famous rockefeller center christmas tree. and just like everything else in 2020, thissier's tree is doing the best it can. >> the rockefeller christmas tree in new york city is usually lifts our spirits this time of year. but this area well let's just say that by 2020 standards, it's pretty perfect. the tree was put into place atop of rockefeller center. >> look at all the holes and it just kind of, i don't know, it kind of loosks look a very, like a charlie brown tree, like a large version of the charlie brown tree. >> trevor: into, no, no, no. you leave that poor tree alone. >> you already killed if, now you are going to make fun of its appearance. who are you people, do you do this at funerals too, damn, uncle mark, you got fat, look at you, you can't even fit in that

i'm trevor noah. today is thursday, the 5th of november, and i know what everyone is thinking right now -- "it's the 5th of november, and no one knows when we can start playing christmas songs! when can we start, already? mariah carey, tells when we can start! coming up on the show, donald trump isn't going anywhere, coronavirus also isn't going anywhere, and michael kosta tells us why we should all be very afraid. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah. ♪ ♪ >> trevor: we are now on day three of election day, and i don't know about you, but this election is starting to feel like that friend who you let crash on your couch for a weekend but then you quickly realize that you've officially got a new roommate. let's see what's happening with our situationship in our ongoing segment votegasm 2020. ♪ ♪ let's get to the big news first -- p

new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's talk about coronavirus. you know, it is a thing you are pretty sure you had in february but actually didn't. the world is now deep into the second wave of this pandemic, or maybe the third wave, or the fourth. i don't know. at this point covid has so many waves it is like those pals at the amusement park which is also big spreaders of exotic disease and after doing a little bet over the past few month, unfortunately the u.s. shows no signs of getting out of the pool. >> the new explosion of cases in the coronavirus crisis, if you heard this, the u.s. reported a record-shattering number of new infections. >> for the first time all 50 states reported increase in cases, shocking seven day averages in kansas at 41 percent. iowa at 48%, south dakota at as ton you wering 54%. >> new restrictions are about to go into effect in new york state, beginning tomorrow all bars and restaurants must close for dining at 10 p.m., gyms must also close at 10 p.m., and all private gather

. >> reporter: one detail that has just been announced, the show host, the daily show has trevor noah for the mc for this years grammys for the first time. >> you can watch the grammy awards sunday, january 31st right here on kpix 5. >>> tonight, former president barack obama returns to late- night tv with stephen colbert. with insight on president-elect biden's pick for his top advisers. >> a lot of announcements of the cabinets. >> yes. people i know. >> it's a lot of return to the sort of, what is the word, competency? >> you can watch it all tonight after the kpix 5 news at 11. >>> a push today to get people to reconsider thanksgiving menus. pita was spotted handing out vegan roast two people walking for oakland. it's all part of the peta vegan campaign to urge people to cut meat out of their thanksgiving tables. >>> just in time for thanksgiving, is covid-19 leading to the covid 15? as it 15 extra pounds? the pandemic is driving strong cravings for comfort food. >> because the food makes me feel so happy, i continue to do it. even though i know i should not >> we are fighting tou

look at that. >> trevor noah. >> trevor noah.emy will announce nominees for the 63rd grammy awards in a live stream at noon. they will reveal some of the nominees along with big names in music and dua lipa. they will be broadcast sunday, january 31st, right here, where, tony? >> cbs. >> trevor said, despite the fact that i'm extremely disappointed that the grammys have refused to have me sing or be nominated for best pop album, i'm thrilled to be hosting this auspicious event. i think he'll be great. >> i do, too. >> just the right touch. >> i'm excited about it. >> congrats to him. >>> most of us have not been doing a lot of traveling lately, but you remember our famous traveling penguins? >> i do. >> they scored another big trip with their latest field trip. they went to soldier field, home of the nfl chicago bears, of course. >> interesting smells in there. >> and major league soccer's chicago fire. tombo, charlotte, izzy and darwin, they are, explored the bears locker room. they waddled down the field and felt the grass. i wo

the daily show's trevor noah will serve as emcee of this year's grammys for the first time.anuary 31st will air live right here on cbs. chris martinez, cbs news, los angeles. >>> can't wait to watch. coming up on "cbs this morning," tony decopo looks at a way to heal america's political rift by using techniques in couples therapy. plus, dr. aru will. a tows us how two different hospitals fwhun a big city and one in a small town are beating the odds to save lives during the pandemic. >>> and we talk with super model ashley graham about season three of her podcast "pretty big deal." that's the "cbs morning news" for this wednesday. thank you so much for watching. i'm tom hanson. have a great day. . >>> live from the cbs bay area studios. this is kpix5 news. >> right

. >> reporter: south african-born osaily show" host trevor noah ce j jokingly compared president trump african dictator. >> i have got a very good brain. >> god helped me by giving me a certain brain. >> we will win. he timl be winning all the time. >> we will have so much winning if i get elected that you may get bored with winning. >> yeah, remember that? >> reporter: five years later, it's no laughing matter. africans regard the u.s. president as a leader who cozies up to dictators, shreds climate t ange agreements, and quits international human rights organizations. of course, africa views the u.s. through the lens of its own often-violent history. after all, this is the continent t at knows the cost of an election going up in flames when presidents refuse to lose. professor of u.s. studies gilbert khadiagala says most africans want democracy, even if their leaders don't. >> so if they don't have key partners like the u.s., then it partners like the u.s., becomes a bit problematic. so trump has been, i think, a threat to what i call the democratization of very fragile democracies i

trevor noah of "the daily show" will host music's biggest night.eads the pack with nine nominations. and for the first time in grammy history, all of the nominees for best rock performance and best country album are female artists or bands led by women. the grammys air january 31 right pere on cbs. up next, the deli owner who can't bear to see anyone go hungry for the holidays. if you have postmenopausal osteoporosis and a high risk for fracture, now might not be the best time to ask yourself, 'are my bones strong?' life is full of make or break moments. that's why it's so important to help reduce your risk of fracture with prolia®. only prolia® is proven to help strengthen and protect bones from fracture with 1 shot every 6 months. do not take prolia® if you have low blood calcium, are pregnant, are allergic to it, or take xgeva®. serious allergic reactions like low blood pressure, trouble breathing, throat tightness, face, lip or tongue swelling, rash, itching or hives have happened. tell your doctor about dental problems, as severe jaw bone prob

trevor noah is the host, satirizing the political news.he pulse" segments have become must watch television — going viral and inspiring thinkpieces galore. he'lljoin us in a moment to discuss his extroadinary year but first here's a clip of him talking to voters at the president's final rally before the election. historically, this presidency has lost more jobs than any other. that's not true. it's not true? no. he has not. he has not? tony, and need my sheet. i'm going to give you facts. give me facts. the facts, that fact sheet. what's on the fact sheet? the fact sheet is at... in my car. we have not had a fact sheet before, this is good. bring it, bring it. i'm bringing it. i hope it doesn't have a list of all the dead, because that things going to be huge. 0k, jobs added, 4 million. under biden and obama —2.8 million. what is the website you are on? i don't know. you don't know. i'll have to google it. genuinely riveting, and you can watchjordan on the daily social distancing show on comedy central every night at 11 eastern/10 central

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show with trevor noah! ♪ ♪ >> trevor: okay. before we get into the serious news, i wanted to kick things off with an adorable story that will almost definitely be turned into a second-rate christmas special next year. >> well, it may just be new york's unofficial new holiday mascot. a small owl found inside the rockefeller christmas tree tree. >> a worker found it tucked away in the branches. it's a small bird called a saw wood owl, the smallest in the northeast, recovering at the ravens beard wildlife center. it's getting lots of love and attention and has its own twitter page. >> very nice, and it's own little turtleneck, too. >> trevor: oh -- my -- god! can we take a second to appreciate how frickin' cute this owl is? baby yoda probably put a hit on him as we speak. he's so cute, i want one. i want to go get a little owl right now. aaahhh! that was a mistake. owls are not pets. but, still, what a fun story, an owl hitched a ride to new york city -- although i guess it looks different if you're an owl. f

author, activist, comedian and former producer for the daily show with trevor noah. feels the say way about trump and trumpism as mr. schmidt. how to citizen, welcome to you both. mr. schmidt, before you say a word i want to roll for the audience the latest work from the lincoln project. >> most republican leaders are refusing to accept the outcome of the democratic process. it is shameful. cowardly. un-american. across the globe republicans are acting like russia, iran, north korea, china. are these republicans not americans? >> steve schmidt, a dual question for you. what is your battle damage assessment on the effect that the lincoln project had on the presidential election and are you on the ground in georgia? what can you do there that stacey abrams is not doing or hasn't already done? >> i think we were part of a coalition that helped joe biden amass the most votes in american history. i think we took the fight to donald trump. i think we played a key role in the counties that we targeted. we made a stand against trump and trumpism. we fought for what we believ

. >> trevor: hey everybody, welcome to the daily social distancing show, i'm trevor noah. today is monday, the 2nd of november, which means tomorrow is election day. this is it! if you haven't voted yet, don't forget to vote tomorrow, and if you still haven't registered to vote, good news -- there are 21 states that allow same-day voter registration. so, if you are a person who procrastinates, you are in luck -- unless you procrastinated so much that you're watching this daily show episode in december. in that case, i got some bad news for you. lord there were will be delivering it personally. but otherwise, if you live in one of those states, go to votevotevote.com to see what you need to bring to the polls to register on the day. go vote! anyway, coming up on tonight's show: the candidates make their final pitch, jaboukie young-white tries to understand what old people think, and we find out the biggest scandal of donald trump's presidency. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." ♪ ♪ >> trevor: so how's everybody feeling? feeling relaxed,

one recent trevor noah joke this is one that i found. it looks like mitch mcconnell and lindsey graham aarp partnering with trump on the election which is a terrible idea but i'd love to see these three together in a heist movie. the punchline is missing. that's a joke. maybe not a good one but it's a joke. greg: there you go. all right tyrus. >> bursa volleyed have you lost your mind? do you not know what you are doing right now? in wrestling this would be like telling the audience what's going to happen. we are winning. have you seen our ratings thanks we are funny and we tell jokes yeah. now you were going to give advice to the other side who has been whining and crying about hey guys when i get tell us some jokes? did i take a crazy pill here? keep doing what you are doing. keep the party going, guys. it's working. greg: when you saw the press conference all they could do with biden is asked about trump. >> here's the best part. they are being nice to biden now because they are stemming once he gets then that he's going to do with th

"the daily show's" trevor noah will host.proving to reign supreme with nine nominations. now the weekend is taking the record academy on task after he was not nominated calling them corrupt. he released his album "after hours" earlier this year. and the nfl announced him as the headliner for the super bowl. he has a lot going on. a grammy doesn't make you an artist. the weekend, hold your chin up high and get ready for the super bowl because we're ready. >> let's get through thanksgiving and christmas first. although i saw a rack with calendars yesterday it at the grocery store, oh, 2021, yay. >> i think everyone is excited about the new year. get '20 out of here. >>> we are going to see some nice weather in the forecast. we're starting out with fog. visibility cut down to a quarter mile or less in spots. we are seeing in the north bay but not so much elsewhere. if you're going to enjoy the day outside, the kids are out of school this week, so head to the playground. make sure europe sayou're safe. walnut creek will have a co

"the daily show's" trevor noah will host. there's no bad time to start at amazon... ♪ i like the flexibility. it also allows for picking up shifts. safety comes first, speed comes second. safety. safety. safety. we're making sure that somebody is getting their very important items. it makes me very happy. ♪ great gifts at this price? is this for real? not exactly that's bargain bliss setting in you're basking in the glow of great gifts at deep discount prices. and is that... mmhmm ♪grocery outlet jingle i want a doll house, a pony bike >>> welcome back to you. 6:25 right now. a cat in contra costa county is back on solid ground after spending days stuck in a tree. kitty love was stuck for nearly two days as her family figured out how to get her down. the owner turned to social media for help. a neighbor saw the plea and volunteered to scale the big tree in the dark to get her. >> once i got up there and realized trying to grab her, hold on to the tree and climb down was a little more difficult than i was expecting. >> little

the dye hard fans of the show would, but you were the first guest ever on "the daily show with trevor noahk my neck out. it was a small neck, but you did it and i appreciate that. >> you are a comedian. you are a fellow comic and i liked the fact that you were a comic coming from across the water and embracing an opportunity here in the states. i thought it was dope. i thought your stfers dope. and it was more about supporting you and that platform. >> trevor: i was shocked you said yes because you were already kevin hart the superstar. you are truly, in my opinion, the most bankable star in hollywood. i watched movies where you gave cameo appearances and gave 300%. i saw you on stage in comedy clubs where nobody knew your name but you gave 500%. what are you doing next, coming out with a kevin hart vaccine for the pandemic? >> no, no vaccine is on the way or underway. right now, man, it's crazy because we-- we were in this-- this thing, this crazy moment, and i found myself sitting with, like, you know, nothing to do for one of the first times in my career. when we were shut down, there w

. >>> well done, trevor noah and his team. putting the music to it might it more of a cheap opera than it is. thank you for that. what's the point? there is no shame in their game. they ignored the proof of suppression then and they now want to front run fraud issues without proof. even mitch mcconnell refusing to recognize president-elect biden's victory. he wouldn't contradict trump's lies that the election was stolen from them. but he didn't have any proof to offer. he didn't say he saw any proof. he offers nothing but more poison politics. you want proof of that? mcconnell met with attorney general bill barr. guess what happened then? soon after, barr authorized federal prosecutors across america to pursue, quote, any substantial allegations of voting irregularities before the election is certified. despite zero evidence. you have to keep saying that because this is not how it works. if you think something happened, you prove it. or irregularities even crimes? and what substantial allegations? if they have seen any, why ca

wondered where we had heard it before, and it turns out our friends over at the daily show with trevor noah had the same thought. they scurried to their vast archives and came up with where we'd heard it before. >> democrats are being sore losers, and they refuse to acknowledge they lost the election so what do they do? they cry malfeasance, wrongdoing, criminal fraud. >> democrats more so than republicans seem to have a problem conceding defeat. either the election system broke down or some mystery votes are hiding somewhere. >> a whole series of democrats who just said bluntly if our candidate doesn't win they stole the election. >> the dems just want to make america suffer. >> the democrats are refusing to accept the declared results of the national media, so how do they do this? lo and behold they find missing ballots. >> the radical left is attacking the sanctity of our votes. >> refusing to accept the mid-term election results. so what if these were republicans refusing to concede? >> democrats will see how they'll be able in the future to steal elections through lawsuits that they ca

but you must remember also, i must remember, kudos to trevor noah and "the daily show" theme, the drastic balderdash they're putting there. and it makes sense that "the daly show" puts that up. four years ago today, that's vice president biden, and do you know who is with him? vice president pence. doesn't seem comfortable being touched. this is what it's supposed to look like, helping to foster a smooth transition. also four years ago today, president-elect trump himself being extended the courtesy by someone who he said wasn't even born in this country, acknowledgment for his victory, obama helping with a smooth transition to his presidency. listen. >> my number one priority in the coming two months is to try to facilitate a transition that ensures our president-elect is successful. we now are going to -- want to do everything we can to help you succeed, because if you succeed, then the country succeeds. >> that from a president and now we're hearing from trump who is no president, he's did i dsside best, and a revenant, a dead man halting the halls of crisis. what do we do about it? yo

shows have been mostly hosted by white men with the example of a handful, "the daily show" with trevor noah, a little late with lilly singh late night on nbc. there have been a handful and others on hbo. where would you like to see this go? someplace like the networks or the web might be the right niche? >> i have no idea. the best place for us to be is wherever we can tell the truth. now, will they let us say the things we say? you know, on a network? i don't know. >> i don't know either. >> are we lying, absolutely not. >> that's kind of the fun of the show is that it gives you that opportunity to kind of, like, cringe and laugh at the same time, but for me i'm cringing because i'm kind of doubled over laughing and i can't get up. so it's like the effort to try to get up is where the cringe comes in. i love the show. i wish you many seasons of success. amber ruffin, the new episodes of "the amber ruffin show" drop every friday on peacock. i'm so glad you made time. as soon as we launched the show, i was like book me amber ruffin. so check. now it's off the list. thank you very much. much

kudos to trevor noah and the "daily show" team with the classical music with the classic balder dash they're putting there makes a perfect marriage. this is pure comedy. however, it's not funny. we know how it should go. look, today in history, four years ago today, that's vice president biden, and do you know who's with him? vice president-elect pence. doesn't seem comfortable being touched. this is what it's supposed to look like helping to foster a smooth transition. also four years ago today, president-elect trump himself being extended the traditional courtesy by someone he said wasn't even born in this country. acknowledgment of his victory, a pledge from then president obama for help with a smooth transition to his presidency. listen. >> my number one priority in the coming two months is to try to facilitate a transition that ensures our president-elect is successful. we now are going to want to do everything we can to help you succeed because if you succeed, then the country succeeds. >> that from a president. and now we're hearing from trump, who's no president. he's a dissi