that's all i need." >> trevor: noah, thanks for joining me. >> thanks for having me. make sure you catch it because you can watch it the next day. we're going to take a quick break but we'll be right back after this. >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. but before we go: this month is black history month, so please consider supporting barbershop books. it's an organization that creates child-friendry reading spaces in barber shops and provides early literacy training to barbers, all to inspire black boys and other vulnerable children to read for fun. if you are able to, go to the link below and donate what you can. until tomorrow: stay safe out there, wear a mask, and remember: do not put gorilla glue on your hair, only on your gorilla. now, here it is, your moment of zen. >> i believe you have a filter turned on in the video settings. you might want to-- >> we're trying to-- did you hear me, judge? >> i can hear you. i think it's a filter. >> it is, and i don't know how to remove it. i've got my assistant here. she's trying to, but... uh... i'm prepared to go forwa

that's all i need." >> trevor: noah, thanks for joining me. >> thanks for having me. ake sure you catch it because you can watch it the next day. we're going to take a quick break but we'll be right back after this. when we started our business we were paying an arm and a leg for postage. i remember setting up shipstation. one or two clicks and everything was up and running. i was printing out labels and saving money. shipstation saves us so much time. it makes it really easy and seamless. pick an order, print everything you need, slap the label onto the box, and it's ready to go. our costs for shipping were cut in half. just like that. shipstation. the #1 choice of online sellers. go to shipstation.com/now and get 2 months free. >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. but before we go: this month is black history month, so please consider supporting barbershop books. it's an organization that creates child-friendry reading spaces in barber shops and provides early literacy training to barbers, all to inspire black boys and other vulnerable children to read for fun. if

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with water-- a.k.a. lazy seltzer. we all drink water every day, but recently, in florida, someone tried to turn the water into a weapon. >> now to a shocking case of computer hacking in pinellas county, florida. investigators are trying to hunt down the person who tried to poison a public water supply remotely. >> the plant operator monitoring the plant noticed computer breaches starting at 8:00 a.m. friday morning. the hacker was controlling the computer system's mouse and increased the level of sodium hydroxide from about 100 parts per million to more than 11,000 parts per million. >> this is, obviously, a significant and potentially dangerous increase. sodium hydroxide, also known as lye, is the main ingredient in liquid drain cleaners. >> if ingested in large amounts, sodium hydroxide can cause vomiting, chest and abdominal pain. fortunately, a plant operator immediately reduced the levels back to what was safe. >> trevor: okay, this is insane! a

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah> trevor: let's kick things off with the crazy weather sweeping across the united states today. because right now, if you look out your window, you're seeing snow. if you're in florida, it's cocaine. and for places that aren't used to having winter, it is causing big problems. >> nearly 200 million americans are now in the path of a dangerous winter storm system, with warnings and alerts now stretching from the mexican border all the way to maine. >> 44 states on alert this morning. about 70% of the continental u.s. is covered in snow right now. that is the highest in a decade. >> nowhere is harder hit than texas, where more than 3 million homes and businesses are without power and heat. the electrical grid simply can't handle the demand. >> officials imposed rolling blackouts, saying the lack of energy is due in part to frozen wind turbines in west texas knocked offline. >> pipes freezing and bursting across the state, and these power lines sizzling, taken out by heavy ice in louisian

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's talk about the coronavirus-- the only thing with more mutations than rudy giuliani. there's good news in america: as cases and hospitalizations continue to fall. but with dangerous coronavirus variants spreading around the country, the race is now on to get as many people vaccinated as quickly as possible. which is why, in massachusetts, they've started doing this: >> starting today in massachusetts, vaccine eligibility begins for friends and family members who accompany a person who is 75 years of age or older to their vaccine appointment. only one companion per person is allowed to sign up for this vaccine appointment at a mass vaccination site, regardless of their age or health. >> trevor: hell, yeah, massachusetts! oh! this is just like the club, but the exact opposite. the shots are free, and if you have your grandma with you, you get in right away. but, yes, anyone can get a vaccine in massachusetts, as long as they roll up with someone 75 or over. and you know

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with an update on the january 6 insurrection at the capitol: the day white supremacists entered the capitol without having to get elected. yesterday, congress held its first hearings on what went wrong with security that day, and the testimony from the people in charge was not encouraging. >> former capitol hill security officials and the acting chief of the d.c. metropolitan police recounting the january 6 insurrection, highlighting major communication failures that led to the deadly riots. >> the day before the insurrection, an f.b.i. memo explicitly warning about the possibility of violence was sent via email but never made its way to leadership. >> here's the intelligence: "be ready to fight. congress needs to hear glass breaking, doors being kicked in, and blood from their b.l.m. and antifa slave soldiers being spilled. get violent. stop calling this a "march" or a "rally" or a "protest." go there ready for war. we get our.president or we die." >

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah♪ >> trevor: all right, let's kick things off with the big snowstorm that slapped into the northeast united states today where some places will be getting up to 24 inches of snow. iin fact, there was so much snow in noshing that wekdzent go anywhere, and we had to stay home all day. it was crazy. while the sunny west coast doesn't have to worry about snow, california is having scary weather-related problems of its own. >> amazing drone video shows where a chunk of california's scenic collapse, the landslide left a massive gap in the highway and a deep ravine littered with fallen trees. thankfully nobody was hurt there. transportation officials have no estimate of how long it might take to actually fix that. merchants say that collapsed just another major blow to the area's tourist industry. >> trevor: no, man! if anything, i think a big hole like that will help the tourism industry. look at the grand canyon, they were going to patch that up years ago but it's so popular nobody bothered

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick off the show with the coronavirus pandemic. it's the reason you keep refreshing vaccine websites like they're selling coachella tickets. and with over a million americans getting vaccinated every day, everyone is anxiously looking forward to a time when they can get back to doing normal things again, like going out out to eat, or not thinking about the welfare of the people who deliver their packages. and last night, president joseph "raisinette" biden gave the country an update on when normal life might happen. >> president biden, on a trip to the swing state of wisconsin for a cnn town hall, his first trip as president, he offered a new timeline on when the vaccine would be available for all americans and a return to something like normal. >> by the end of july, we'll have over 600 million doses, enough to vaccinate every single american. as my mother would say, with the grace of god and the goodwill of the neighbors, that by next christmas, i think we'll be i

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noahful trevor: let's kick things off with the ongoing crisis in texas. where half a million residents were still without power today. and more than 200,000 were without clean water because treatment plants are failing and pipes are bursting. texans have been lining up for clean water from public spigots boiling their own or even trying to melt snow. yeah, melting snow for clean water. i mean you know that the infrastructure is screwed when your best option for water is to mug a snowman but the saddest part is that these people are the lucky ones. because it turns out one poor texan had to travel 800 miles just to get heat, water and electricity. >> senator ted cruz is now facing a whole lot of questions after he was spotted on a plane traveling to cancun, mexico in the midst of this unfolding cries nis his home state of texas. >> you go on social media, will you see social media users posting multiple pictures of the senator and his family in the houston airport waiting to board their flight

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah♪ >> trevor: let's kick things off with health news. if you're watching this show while you're driving, first of all, don't do that! and second, you may want the to hold your breath for this. >> we all love the new car smell, but according to a new study that scent could be dangerous. researchers found the smell carries in it dangerous carcinogenerals, the measured high levels of a cancer causing particles in the air and dust inside cars, formaldehyde and benzene are used by manufacturers in carpets and leather and paints in cabinets and researchers say drivers with long commutes are most likely at risk. >> trevor: oh, man, come on! why are scientists such kill joys? i mean, just once, i'd like to hear about a new study that says something fun was good for you! but it's always like, oh, puppies give you gonorrhea! that's where i got mine from. but, yes, apparently, new car smell is carcinogenic, which, luckily for me, isn't a problem because i haven't been able to smell anything in mon

new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with the super bowl. it is the world's championship of a sport only played in america. and yesterday's game was one for the record books. >> this morning tom brady is running out of fingers for his ring, capturing his record 7th super bowl at age 43. >> i think we knew this was going to happen tonight, didn't we? >> the bucs didn't just winnings they trampled last year's champs, the can sags city chiefs 31-9. the weekend also electrifying on stage, singing some of his biggest hits in a slickly produced halftime show. using masked dancers to keep things covid friendly. >> trevor: hell yeah. what a great halftime show. and it looks like the weeknd finally found a use for all that toilet paper he has been hoarding. and how about tom brady winning his 7th super bowl ring. at this rate he will be the first play we are a super bowl toe ring, people. i mean at this point tom brady has lead the kind of live that eight year olds nar rate to themselves. the cro

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noahor: let's kick things off with joseph "railroad" biden, president of the united states and america's palette cleanser. he has made fighting the coronavirus pandemic his top priority, and while much of that involves improving vaccine distribution and doing more testing, biden is also considering a creative new idea: >> the biden administration is weighing in on a plan to send masks to every american. nbc news reports the biden white house is considering sending face coverings directly to households across the country. the covid-19 response team is currently evaluating the logistics of mailing out millions of masks. >> trevor: okay, this is a great idea, because it helps everybody! democrats get free masks, and republicans get free toilet paper. nah, i'm joking. i mean, you'd think that if someone hasn't worn a mask by now, i mean, this isn't going to convince them. but you should never underestimate the power of free shit. you ever seen the free samples people will eat at a grocery stor

social distancing show" with trevor noah. ♪ ♪ >> trevor: before we get started, today is groundhog day to ask, what the hell is groundhog day? people pull a rodent out of the ground and then ask the animal to predict the weather. really? this is so unfair because if afternoonens were doing shit like this and you heard we pulled animals out of the groune villages in africa where people wear animal skin and if i try to explain americans use groundhogs to predict the weather, they will be like whyt not use this animal. let's move from from talking animals to e-mailing vegetables. >> it's sounds too crazy to believe but scientists really have taught spinach to send e-mails. >> engineers at m.i.t. report spinach roots can detect a compound found in explosive like land minus. when the roots detect the compound molecules and the roots release a signal, that signal is read by an infrared camera which sends an email to scientists. the purpose is to detect explosive, but scientists believe it could be used to warn researchers of pollution. the experiment is part of a wider field of research that

captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com >> hey, what's going on, everybody, i'm trevor noah and this is the daily social distancing show. today is february 2 2-7bd which means it's the last week of black history month which is why i decided now is the perfect time to make some new black history. by being the first black man to ski down mount everest. i tripped getting into my uber. anyway, on tonight's show it's raining plain parts in colorado, and why everything is bigger in texas, including the electricity bills. so let's do this, people. welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. let's kick things off with some travel news. if you are one of those people who can't wait to fly on an airplane again, first of all, congratulations on being basic. and second, you may be willing to wait just a little longer after seeing this. >> this morning the faa and japan civil aviation burrow grounding all boeing's triple 7 with a pacific pratt & whitney engine

captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com on, everybody, i'm trevor noah, this is the daily social distancing show and today isah, february 3rd. also known as day three of black history month. that's right. time to break out those decorations, people. yeah, i already brought my frederick douglass down from the attic, i gave him some reindeer so he doesn't get lonely. anyway on tonight's show we explore the crisis, jeff bezos is upgrading, his res nay,let's do this, people. welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> from trevoree couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with amazon. it is the reason you stayed up until 3 a.m. reading reviews of paper clips. yesterday founder and evil door nobody jeff bezos announced he will step down as c.e.o. to become the company's executive chair where he will dedicate his time to things like philanthropy and space travel. and can i just say, you know you're rich when you're like i'm retiring to spend more time with other planets.

. >> trevor: well hey, what is going on, everybody, i'm trevor noah and this is the daily social distancing show. today is february 159, qi means it's president's day. and if you forgot to get your president's a gift, don't worry, all those valentine's teddy bears at the gas station are on sale right now. anyway, on tonight's show, how stonehenge gentrified england, covid is now made in the u.s.a. and you're invited to donald trump's victory party. plus neil patrick harris is joining us on the show. so let's do this, people. welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. let's kick things off with stonehenge. england's second oldest national treasure. for centuries people have been visiting stonehenge, even though no one knows for sure what it means. it is basically the ancient version of a kayne west tweet. but now we're learning that if you try to visit stonehenge when it first went up, you might not have found it there in the same place. >> i think discov

everybody, i'm trevor noah and this is the daily social distancing show.ded for the final time that i am going to make new black history by becoming the first ever black karen. >> hey, do you have a license for that skateboard? >> hey, [bleep] where is your mask, lady. >> i don't have to wear a mask, i pay taxes. >> what is an amazing day for our people. >> i think i did pretty well. anyway, on tonight's show, why your tattoo could km back to haunt you. an explosive story about cats. and why the state of america's electric grid will shock you. so let's do this, people, welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world there is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> folks, it's been another long, long, long week. the pandemic reached a grim milestonek people in texas struggled to get clean water and now someone stole lady gaga's dogs. which is crazy. you know how hard it is to lure dogs away from someone who dresses in meat? so instead of ending the week on a frown let's

we had our friends trevor noah thanks to the following.to lou dobbs, the most north korean anchor america ever seen. >> we have a president, one of the country's greatest president. this is a man who multi-task, he's smart and filled with energy. >> he comes from a good gene pool. >> i am going to say strong. you are also one of the most loved and respected. >> i would say that also. >> in history. >> the great lou dobbs. he says trump is the greatest president. >> he's the greatest of them all. >> does that include washington and lincoln? and he said yes. i don't know if he's for real. >> thank you mr. president and yes, i was for real. i think he's doing god's work, god sent this president. how would you grade president trump's leadership? superb, great or very good. >> this white house is energized, there are sunshine throughout the place. it will be century after century for this president. >> we got a really good job. he's close to perfect, shawn. >> have a great weekend, the president makes such a thing possible for us all. >> a trib

and our friends at "the daily show with trevor noah" quickly went to work on a brief history of the hypocrisyted cruz. >> it's crazy that we'd be taking a recess. let's not take any recesses. let's work every day. let's work weekends and let's work until we get the job done. >> apparently the majority leader made the decision it was more important for senators to be home on vacation, home playing golf, home doing anything but being here on the floor of the senate doing the people's business. >> president obama and for that matter hillary clinton and the democratic party, they're so out of touch with where the american people are right now. >> he goes and plays golf hundreds of times with his buddies. he is not focused on the people who are hurting, who are paying the cost. >> we got a job to do, and we got a short window of time, and so we ought to stop taking recesses, stop taking time off and just keep going until we get it done. >> apparently playing a game of pool is a higher priority for this president than it would be to go and see the humanitarian crisis he's created. ♪♪ >> so rest eas

of the year award nominations on the list, viola davis, regina king, tyler perry, dee nice and trevor noahd social justice impact an award they're giving out, among the names, stacey abrams and lebron james. that show will air march 27th. check your local listings. >>> also trending for you this morning, a post super concert for a good cause. verizon hosting the sunday night event fund-raising money will go to businesses that have been struggling, that event will be hosted by tiffany haddish, she's so funny and feature performances by alicia keys, christinaing aleah, herr and miley cyrus, watch that on twitter, youtube, cmt, mtv live and tiktok, and before the concert, you might hear a familiar tune during the sunday big game. take a listen to this. ♪ working 5:00 to 9:00 ♪ ♪ you've got passion and a vision ♪ ♪ because it's hustling time ♪ ♪ a whole new way to make a living ♪ >> you hear that "5:00 to 9:00" dolly parton reimagining the song. square space is going to do that. this is one of several set to air during the super bowl game, sometimes the commercials are just as big as the game,

maybe trevor noah said it best when he said on his show, if you get fired from best buy, you can't go and steal a tv on your way out. so we can't have the precedent be that you can go do anything you want. in president trump's own words go wild and reek havoc on the democracy to the point people die and police officers are killed and not have any kind of responsibility for it. i look forward as you pointed out at the end of your segment there of carrying on that mantle of accountability and i think we have to take it very seriously. >> senator klobuchar, appreciate your time. >> thanks, anderson. thank you for being on again. >>> joining me is noah feldman in the first impeachment trial and konlconstitutional scholar. thanks for being back. is there any merit the former president's team put forward today, impeaching a president is constitutional? >> the trial is definitely not unconstitutional. there is strong precedent for trying someone once they are out of office and the history suggest the framers understood that was a possibility. i don't think there is much to that. the first am

you see democrats like myself on this program today and others even trevor noah -- my massachusetts accentight of the information that has come out regarding nursing homes, regarding the manipulated numbers and quite frankly in the recent days and the governor's response lack of taking responsibility, accountability, or any kind of apology for that. whether it's inside hollywood or inside the democrat party. >> so that begs the question is the silence deafening and should we have been expecting criticism from all of these high profile people who had heaped praise on him before they knew the criticism and the outrage. >> the better question is what do we care what these elite actors are thinking living in beverly hills and gated communities? is at the same people that elected governor newsom in california being praise on cuomo. i don't care what they have to say. i won't be taking advice and their advice is laughable for the silence doesn't matter because who cares what they have to say? i'm just going to go ahead and put that out there. >> i think we are getting this all wrong. a best-sell

i think trevor noah said it best when he said, you can't get fired from best buy and take a tv on your out. so that was established today, despite the vote of some of my colleagues. we did have six of them vote with us. so for history's sake, we will always know that a trial like this can go forward because of the strong vote on that. now we go into tomorrow. and they're going to see more videos like the one today. videos we have not yet seen before because there were police cameras and the like from inside the capitol. to me that was just chilling. the flagpole with the american flag being used to ram through windows and beat police officers. the trump flags on full display, literally hitting people, being used to take on and invade a co-equal branch of government. and we'll see more of that tomorrow. >> never a good sign when a comedian seems to see the issue more clearly than the senators weighing it. >> one quick procedural question and then i have a question about your disposition going forward. the procedural question is why did today happen? it is not called for in the constitut

we have our friends at "the daily show" with trevor noah to thank for the following, what they call theiraster america has ever seen. >> we have a president who is a true leader in my opinion, one i happen to believe will be regarded as one of this country's greatest presidents, indeed, our greatest. >> this is a man who multi-tasks. he is smart, he is filled with energy. nobody is a close second. >> he comes from a pretty good gene pool. >> have you ever seen a man as -- i was going to say tough, but strong. >> he has already set a standard for presidents that most mortals won't be able to meet. >> you're also one of the most loved and respected. >> i would say that also. >> in history. >> the great lou dobbs. he said, trump is the greatest president since ronald reagan. >> and then i said he's the greatest president ever. >> lou dobbs, he said he's the greatest of them all. i said does that include washington and lincoln? and he said yes. now, i don't know if he was for real. >> thank you, mr. president. and, yes, i was for real. >> i think he is doing god's work. god sent this presiden

viola davis, regina king, trevor noah, tyler perry and dj denice, all nominated for entertainer of theluding outstanding television series and in the music category it's all beyonce all the time. queen bey leading with six nominations. naacp president derrick johnson saying in a statement, we are excited to recognize and celebrate this year's nominees who at times throughout this impressive end of year have provided moments of levity, brought our communities together and lifted our spirits through culture when we needed it most. the naacp image awards will be handed out on saturday, march 27th. >>> and now to a broadway treasure coming to the big screen. three-time tony award winning musical "wicked" getting a big screen adaptation with john chu behind "crazy rich asians" signing on to direct. he took to twitter to confirm the great news using some of the lyrics from "defying gravity," a wonderful song from the show, writing too late for second-guessing. too late to go back to sleep. it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap. the writer and composer, the great minds behin

to put it into more humorous note, it was trevor noah what who said you can't get fired from best buy and go out and steal a tv on the way out. there are laws in this country, and this president should be held accountable for inciting an angry mob to literally loot and invade another equal branch of government, and very sadly, people died. a police officer died. two police officers died by suicide. another one died from injuries. we had a woman trampled to death on the steps of the capitol. this is a national security issue for our country. >> senator, the security threat posed by adherence to the lie and rancor over the result of the election because of the lies that were fed to a lot of donald trump's supporters by donald trump and amplified by his allies in the media and his allies in the senate, we are under threat as a country until the end of april, according to the department of homeland security. and i wonder what specifically your concerns are about the capitol around this proceeding. >> well, we are going to start a series of oversight hearings after this impeachment hearing