blog was gong xing from all over i really don't know me this is was my. beating. and the girls couldn't believe it and. people don't know when they look at you and they're really left you it's left a scar a better me. you never knew when it will hit you and still i was managing what is inside to me. now when the wish for anybody to to understand what's happening you don't know wait wait. and you are there. and it's takes a long time until you get out of it. and this is talking about. it . but. you go on. and. i felt every moment missing my mom. first the war she would be going to and how happy she would be and then leading me in what to do i was just like helpless i don't know i was handling this child like a fragile thing. it's cannot be described in the real moser's love and i missed it. i know it's hard for me to call if they ever saw me crying could be. really try my best to protect them and. i kept a lot of things away there's something say i didn't want them to know. when the time already came when they saw my number and there were days we mother what diseas