i'm luke dunphy. my dad's phil dunphy. i'm sorry. why do you hate him so much? business, kid. it's not personal. well, it's personal to us. i've never seen my dad so worried before. i have this spy pen, and i heard him talking to my mom, and he's scared about paying for my sister's college next year. and i guess he's nervous about some kind of party, because he said there's a big balloon payment. anyways, he's like the best dad ever, so maybe you could be a little nicer to him. there you are, buddy. check it out. they're giving away free jelly beans. hey, mitzi. dunphy. you have a very nice kid there. he's mine. (children shouting playfully) hey, so i was thinking after, uh, little fizbo, we could do the ladder bit. ah, crap. i forgot the ladder. you know what? i'll remember it next weekend. what's next weekend? we got a town fair in thousand oaks and a birthday party in pasadena. whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. i-i can't do that. w-what do you mean? i'm the one with outstanding warrants in pasadena. we're taking lily to the aquarium next weekend. you know, lewis, this

dunphy. [ formally ] always a pleasure, mr. dunphy. indeed it is, mr. dunphy. place it there. ah, i shall, i shall. [ normal voice ] i miss this. get in here! my dad is awesome. he's awesome. he's always up. he's always happy. i mean, he and i are best buds. we're like two peas in a pod or siamese twins or a snake with two heads. they've actually been all those things for halloween. yeah. hey, this must be scout, huh? i should warn you -- he sheds. i made the mistake of letting him sleep with me on the road. now my sheets look like two bigfoots did it. [ phil laughs ] pardon the language. how's mom? speaking of big feet, eh? she is on a cruise with her girlfriends, some of which are not totally unattractive. mm. uh, that reminds me -- she sent some gifts for the kids. um, i will be right back. you three get better acquainted. will do. fun. will do. i cannot believe you got a dog without consulting me. this was a major family decision. it was wrong. yeah. and i'm sorry. mm. but we have talked about getting a dog for years, and you're the only one who wasn't into it. because i k

dunphy. just waiting for haley. did you ring the bell? i texted. she said she'd be down in just a minute. oh, great. tell her i said hi. i will. dylan! d-money! chillin' with dylan the villain. "d" to the "y" to the -- hey, mr. dunphy.

dunphy? she's not going to tell you the truth. i-i-i'm not... i know. unh!ust 'cause he called you a dork-to-dork salesman? the empire strikes back. raccoons have five toes. what's that? i don't mean to bother you. it's just confusing. the footprints in my room only have four toes. you know, i bet i know what happened. i'll bet he lost those toes in a fight. one toe from each foot? maybe. y-you know, manny, i think the only thing that's gonna get you to stop asking all these questions is for you to have a little closure. what do you mean? well, i'd like to throw a little memorial for shel. it'll be good for all of us. that way, we get our grief out, and then we never have to talk about this ever... ever again. [ giggling ] hi! oh, careful, there's a thing. ooh. that's a... [ giggling ] good to see you. hi! hi! oh, my gosh! hi, i'm claire. you must be d-- o-kay. whoa. okay. denise. oh, and you're even prettier than the pictures that phil's always posting. just a couple. shut up. every week. he loves showing you off. my boyfriend likes your acapulco pictures p

(beep) (whooshes) phil dunphy, this is the year 2025. welcome. you're the first one here. ♪

it's a bit of a risk serving fish to a first-time diner at dunphy's.ckup. i think someone has a man crush. first of all, i would never date a potential client. that's "first of all"? secondly, i really need this to go well so he makes me his realtor. this guy's flipping properties like they're extras in a kung fu movie. so you're just kissing up to this guy for his money? not just. i really like him. he travels the world doing charity work, rock climbs, flies planes... how does he have time to do all that? got divorced, and his whole life opened up. guy's living the dream. his dream. not my dream. i'm living my dream. you're my dream. you can stop. i so don't want to do this.

. >> i they have treated you to the dunphy's icebox. >> yes, you did. >> it's a special smell. >> itnt, are we going to get picked up again? are we going to be around for five seasons? >> now that we've been around for five seasons, the goal is so much to keep the quality up. and we don't want -- you can't always remain the media darling. you want to do the best job you can. it's possible we feel more pressure than ever. that's a pregnant lady right there, with twins. >> we're going to show you -- that's when you first were cast. but we'll show you post-twins. this particular scene, it's interesting that you said sometimes when you do a scene, and you get a script, i don't know if your character should do this. such the case here, when your character, kind of shows up in front of -- >> oh. i know what this one is. >> your daughter's girlfriend's boyfriend. >> is this the nurse in boobs. >> the big coming out party. >> oh, boy. >> hey, miss dunphy. >> hey, dillon. >> you know i can see you, right? >> where is haley at? >> haley in the bathroom. she'll be back in a minute. >> why would

phil dunphy.do i have to do to get you to ask, "what do i have to do to get you into this car today?" well, why don't we start with a test-drive? i'll get the keys. sounds good. right where i want him. come here. come look at this. this thing warns you if you deviate from your lane. in my car, that's my wife. "andre, if you try to kill me, i swear i will kill you!" well, i guess this is what i'll be driving for the next 39 months. this is my dna talking, but you do not seem sufficiently excited about the prospect of driving a new cadillac. no, it's great. i've just leased the same thing forever. part of me wants to shake things up. i don't know. get something like...

as phil dunphy on "modern family" can attest.bell's research found no evidence of murder or mobsters. >> you're saying it's not haunted by ghosts. it's haunted by reality tv? >> i hadn't thought of it that way but that's a good way to put it. >> reporter: the current owner but it at a $100,000 discount and fixed it up. >> will you make money when you sell it? >> i think so. >> reporter: that accent, transylvan transylvania, real estate ghost buster. >> we want to thank you for aring your halloween photos. some amazing costumes you sent us. keep them coming all night long. go to abcnews.com to find out how. for all of us at abc news, have a safe halloween tonight. >> on "the list," if you eat too much fast food, don't blame mcdonalds. it's your friend's fault. they're fun at movies, but not so much in your home, especially when it comes to resale. >> hey, guys, happy halloween. theresa has the day off. our team of list warriors has been in search of some pretty cool stuff. not unlike red sox fans looking for new ways to celebrate.

phil dunphy.what do i have to do to get you to ask, "what do i have to do to get you into this car today?" well, why don't we start with a test-drive? i'll get the keys. sounds good. right where i want him. come here. come look at this. this thing warns you if you deviate from your lane. in my car, that's my wife. "andre, if you try to kill me, i swear i will kill you!" well, i guess this is what i'll be driving for the next 39 months. this is my dna talking, but you do not seem sufficiently excited about the prospect of driving a new cadillac. no, it's great. i've just leased the same thing forever. part of me wants to shake things up. i don't know. get something like... like that. oh, wow. colonel klink, that is nice. we took lily on her first train ride. just a quick trip to chinatown. i was worried she would think we were taking her back to vietnam, but she seemed okay. yeah, yeah. possibly because she was an infant when she left vietnam. also, vietnam is not china. well, i had a lollipop with

(chuckles) it's kind of a big deal in the dunphy house. this year, we even got manny involved.'re given this gift of 24 extra hours. you can't waste it at work or school. you have to do something extraordinary, - something shocking. - mm. this year, the entire family is taking a trapeze class. - how extraordinary is that? - it was my idea. how shocking is that? i can be spontaneous every four years. i can't wait. leap day is stupid. you're not understanding the logic behind it. a year is actually 365.25 days.

busy day at the dunphy compound.ing tonight, and this afternoon, claire is debating duane bailey in the race for town council. (lowered voice) and now the "weekly saver" says that some voters find claire-- quote-- "angry and unlikable." to those voters, i say, "wait till she sees this." no one can mention it to her. we can't have some unscientific poll shaking claire's confidence. phil... what poll? too late. she knows. who told her? what is this, a witch hunt? oh, my god. i have to go. well, i just don't think it's a big deal.

. >>> what do don draper and claire dunphy have in common? they're stick in the middle with most of america. i'll explain after this. ♪ i'm wondering what it is i should do ♪ ♪ it's so hard to keep this smile from my face ♪ ♪ ...when the world called for stealth... ♪ ...intelligence... endurance... affordability... adaptability... and when the world asked for the future. staying ahead in a constantly evolving world. that's the value of performance. northrop grumman. help the gulf ur commitment recover and learn the gulf, bp from what happened so we could be a better, safer energy company. i can tell you - safety is at the heart of everything we do. we've added cutting-edge technology, like a new deepwater well cap and a state-of-the-art monitoring center, where experts watch over all drilling activity twenty-four-seven. and we're sharing what we've learned, so we can all produce energy more safely. our commitment has never been stronger. wears off. [ female announcer ] stop searching and start repairing. eucerin professional repair moisturize