george morton: h it was terrible." george morton lives nearby and heard a huge bang wednesday night and walked to the scene filled with blue lights george morton: i seen this one cop car squished in in the front, airbags exploded every where, debris all over the highway, swung all the way up to the red light up here and i walked down to see the other car, and that about what happened, i mean it was just terrible. my first thoughts was, i sure hope the guys were doing alright, i hope they didn get hurt bad.all three were taken to the hospital with non-life- threatening injuries. two have been released and one is still recovering in the hospital and is expected to recover morton:"i was praying for them all the way." captain adam myrick of the lexington county sheriff's office says specific details are being withheld as state highway patrol conducts their investigation adam myrick: "sometimes it a risky these officers last night found that out firsthand 17:30 we e just so glad that they e doing well, recuperating on their

-[george] and how would you like to have the mortons go with us? -[gracie] well i'd love it, but you know harry. he'll say it's too expensive. -[george] well, you go over and get the mortons out of the house for a few minutes, and let me talk to these electricians. -[george] boys, get your tools and sit down. (upbeat music) -[george] gracie and i are going to palm springs for a couple of days. wouldn't you like to go? -[blanche] oh, i'd love to! -[harry] it's too expensive. -[blanche] oh, you. -[george] look. we're going to stop at the racket club for about two days until we get rid of the termites in the house. why don't you join us? -[harry] fortunately, we have no termites. -[george] well, you're very lucky. we have a lot of them. (clattering) -[harry] blanche! call the exterminator! we're leaving for palm springs immediately! -[george] well, gracie, shall we open "meet your family" album again tonight? -[gracie] oh, yes. let's talk about my cousin robin allen, who used to steal from the rich and give it to the poor. oh, he was a wonderful man. -

. - [harry von zell] george is a wonderful guy. - [harry morton] and an excellent comedian. - [harry von zell] right. - why blanche, that's ridiculous, george has fine instincts then there's no reason to withhold such information. i'm sure he'll be glad to share his good fortune with us. - harry, i'm sure he would. look blanche, you know i've been with george a long time and we're very close, i know him, george has a heart as big as he is. - then how come we're going up to ask him? (audience laughs) when he found this wonderful thing why didn't he come over and tell us? - well there must have been a very good reason. george wouldn't do a thing like that without a very good reason, huh? - huh? - [harry morton] huh? - no, no, he wouldn't, why would -- blanche, look at it this way. only a man who didn't want his best friends to share his good luck would do a thing like that without a good reason, huh? - [harry morton] huh? - reason. have to be a completely reprehensible character to withhold such valuable information from your friends and neighbors. - that's the character we're going up

george. - i'd love to watch it but my cliff is gone, the mortons borrowed it. (laughter) - oh look george, please, let us do the fight for you in the garden. - fine, in the garden. - will ya? come on chief. - moose, come on. - [harry] oh boy george, when you see this fight, you'll know i'm right (unclear) george. george? george, what happened to you? - [george] i'm locked in again and this time from the inside. - oh, i'm all finished misses burns. - oh, thank you mister clark. - it's a little unusual though for a private home to rent these paintings from us. ordinarily, we just rent these to the movie studios. - well you see, lady crawford is coming to tea and her house in england has portraits of her ancestors hanging on the wall so, i thought i'd like to have some too. (laughter) - ancestors? - yes! - oh misses burns, she'll never believe that story. - well why not? she never met my relatives. (laughter) - well, you have a point. (doorbell rings) - oh, that must be lady crawford now, would you mind going out through the garden? - oh, of course not and thank yo

george? - up in the den. - well, i'm sure he doesn't know about this - mrs. morton, please. - and i'm going to tell him. i am certainly going to tell him, and no one's going to stop me. - who's trying to stop you? go ahead. - what? - well, it was his idea. - george? - well, sure. look at this map. who do you think stopped off at the gas station and got it for them? - i don't understand this. - i'm watching this with you, quite an interesting little situation. - those boys go to tahiti. well, sometimes i think george is wackier than i am. - oh, that george burns. - mother, you handled that perfectly. - well, sure, you don't think i'm going to let a vicua with a 28-inch sleeve go running around loose in the mountains. - ronnie is going to tahiti in a 22-foot cabin cruiser. that trip is impossible even if he makes it. i'll admit that i told him at last a dozen times to see that his money goes a long way, to make a trip like that, you have to know navigation. this boy's had the boat out twice, and got lost twice. once on his way to catalina, and once on the freeway when

. - [george] good morning, ronnie. - mother, mrs. morton said to remind you that she is downstairs waiting. - oh, well i'll be right down, blanche. goodbye, dear. - goodbye. (kiss) what was that one for? - well, in case i spend more money than you gave me. (laughter) continuing your fight on ronnie coming home late, don't you dare do it. you fought enough last night. and especially you, george. you have no right to talk to ronnie the way you did after all he is your son not your husband. (laughter) - dad, i want to explain about last night, so that you won't be mad at me. - ronnie, i'm not mad at you. your exams are coming up, and i don't think you can read your books up at mulholland drive. it's dark up there. (laughter) - dad, i wasn't out with a girl last night. i was helping a friend of mine, frank brody, get settled. you see, frank goes to sc on a gi bill of rights, and he has a wife and a baby. it's pretty tough for a guy whose tied down like frank is. so i found an apartment that they could move into. i gave a check to the landlord a

(audience laughs) - george, this is very important. - now, harry morton would be perfect. - i don't know. - do what? - and he looks the part. he's such a gentleman and so dignified. - yes, he certainly is. he's very intelligent. will he do it? - do what? - i know one thing, i know i couldn't do it, because i've had no education. - well, that's true, george. you couldn't do it, but i'm sure i could. - oh, i know. and he's dressed just right in that conservative suit and everything. - he has beautiful taste. - oh, yes, he has beautiful taste. - but i couldn't. - i couldn't either. - well, ask me, please. i'm most anxious to do it. - we'll get somebody else to do it. - oh, yeah, let's get somebody else, let's forget about it. - no, no, no, please, stop, stop. i insist, ask me to do it. i insist on doing it. - okay, gracie, we'll let him do it. - oh, all right, come on, harry. - thank you. oh, gracie, just one question. what is it i'm supposed to do? - well, i'll tell you when we get there. but don't worry, harry. you'll be able to do it. - you will, harry. - thank you. (audience laughs) - t

morton and set the whole thing up with him. - [harry] and blanche will see how silly it is. - [george] get started. - you know my character. do you think i'd phone harry morton? - you weasel. and get that sunny look off that stupid face of yours. - (drowned out) (laughter) - i'm not talking to your wife. i'm talking to you. you rat. you skunk. you lily-livered curr. - blanche, has this mad man gotten - oh, mad man, am i? i got a good mind to to tear you apart with my bare hands. - well von zell, the most charitable thing i can say to you is that you are not yourself. has the sun softened that thing that you call your brain? - why you big stuffed shirt. (dish breaking) (commotion) and then i'll smash you. (commotion) oh is that so? miser cheap scape. (laughter) - you touch one more piece of that crockery, and i will thrash you unmercifully. you maladjusted maniac. - oh, i'd like to see you try it. you puny cpa. (dish breaking) (laughter) - out you go. - (mumbling) getting purple in the... harry you're hurting me. - hurt you? i'll thresh you within an inch of your life. did george phone you? - no. (laughter) what caused that?

morton. - [blanche] goodbye. but, gracie, what if george notices that your ring is missing? he might not like your giving it to somebody else. - oh, blanche, don't worry about that. a clever woman can always think of a clever explanation. right, blanche? - right. - well sure. if george notices the ring is gone, - oh no, gracie, i get involved between you and george too many times. now you think of something yourself. - well, oh, what if i tell him it's stuffy today so i took my ring off to let my finger get some fresh air? - no. - [gracie] now you see? i need you. when it comes to lying to a husband nobody can do it as good as you can. - well thank you, gracie, but i am not getting involved this -- - [george] anybody home? - uh oh, i'm leaving. gracie, where did the voice come from, the kitchen or the garden? - the kitchen. - the kitchen, mmhmm. (audience laughs) - hello, blanche. (audience laughs) - gracie, you tricked me. - george, blanche has something to tell you. - what is it, blanche? - harry left a message for you. - he says to say goodbye. - he told me that this morn

- well, if it's too long for harry morton, it'll never fit you. - gracie, if george ever finds out-- - finds out what? oh, how, george, where did you, i was talking to gracie, and i didn't, who said, i said to her, if i find george out, i said, then i won't stay, because if he's not in, there's no sense in my being in. - well, we're both in, but you're going out. are you mixed up in one of gracie's schemes again? - oh, george, no, now, i came over to see you. (bell rings) - there's somebody ringing a bell upstairs. - no, no, no, it's the phone, the phone. - well, answer it. - i will, i will. - answer the phone. - hello, burns residence. who? would you repeat that please. (bell rings) - uh, you better finish that call, there's another one waiting for you. (laughing) (bell rings) - it was the door. - [george] the door? answer the door. - i will, i'll answer it. - okay, you answer it, harry, i won't touch it. - oh brushes, no we don't want any. (bell rings) - [george] oh, he's persistent. - [harry] i'll get it. - [george] get rid of him. - [harry] look, i said we don't want any, and sto

washington and his family looking down on the table where george washington and his family used to take the breakfast. it's almost like the morton salt girl. going down and down and down. but i do think it's a magnificent engraving, and extremely, extremely important in the history of the country. it was popular because this picture represented at the country was. and we will talk, have more to talk about in that painting in amendment -- in a minute. his chief desire was to put the capital the seat of governance as it was known, the seat of government as it was known on the banks of the potomac. and washington was given the task of citing it in a 100-mile swath of the potomac, and he actually was given up to you, as the constitution says, to create a federal district up to 10 miles square. he created a diamond district, if you will, diamond shaped district. and you could see the tops of the diamond going up to maryland as they do. as i'm sure you're all familiar. but they went down across the potomac to alexandria. and that's i think an important thing to consider. he was taking in both sides of the potomac. but in the residence

george get on the desk. - while before i do you go over and get the mortons and bring them over here, i got something important to tell him. - oh, fine. - look, i know you're a trainer, there's nothing wrong with my back, so let's forget it, eh? - okay. - [george] good. - [von zell] oh, no, hold it a second, tony. look now, george, you're only saying that because you're afraid of a little workout on the table. - oh, i know, it's like when you got to the dentist, your teeth stop hurting. (audience laughing) - no, no, no, i told that, harry... - george, this is nothing to worry about. now, i asked this man to come here, he's not going to hurt you-- - [george] you get on top, you do it, you do it. - [von zell] you want me to show you? - [george] yeah, yeah, get on the table. - okay, buddy. - [von zell] of course, this is ive me a little workout. george, this is the greatest thing in the world for you. gently relaxes all the muscles. - and, tony, get him the same treatment you give the rams. (audience laughing) (bone cracking) (bone cracking) (audience laughing) i'm glad he's not measuring me for that suit. (audie

george burns, you and your ideas. i was over there trying to make love to blanche morton, and this big muscle man comes in and picks me up bodily and throws me out of the window. - who is this? - who is that? you fellas ought to know one another, you've both been in the cough drop business for years. (audience laughter) - goerge burns, you should be ashamed of yourself. - goodbye, trade. - mark, in there and take that beard off, and i'll explain everything to you downstairs. everything but the muscle man who threw out von zell. somebody must have ad libbed him. there's no use getting angry, harry. now go back to your wife and be half the man you were. - you and your distorted sense of humor. - george, i... oh, harry, you're home. - that's right. much to my regret, i decided to arrive early. - oh, and i thought that mr. foley with the bad back had until tomorrow to throw that frenchman out. - please, no more of that, i've had enough trouble. - oh, harry, i thought i'd find you here. look, i wanted to explain about what happened this afternoon. - what? - it's sweet of you to try to protect me. george, this dear friend o

george. here, cook your own steak. - gracie didn't do it, so i had to make the phone call. i wanted to get the morton's mixed up in our story line. - [blanche] gracie, what's the big problem? what can i do to help? - what can you do to help? well, oh, you can help me say goodbye! - goodbye, brian. - goodbye, mrs. morton. - then you'll be able to say goodbye to brian again when alfred kramer leaves. - gracie, start at the beginning. - well, it's simple. alfred kramer is coming over here and i am going to get him to change his name to brian mcafee. - but why? - why, because that's the only name in the class he can pass his test under. if the cows on the ranch can get as, i'm going to make sure he does, that's why. - all i got out of that is that you're trying to get somebody to change his name. - that's right. - but gracie, the only people who change their names are people who are trying to hide something like ex-convicts or people who want more glamorous names like movie stars. - blanche, instead of one you give me two ideas. when alfred gets here, i'll see which one fits him better. - no, gracie, i'm y

george laughing] that's a boy! [laughing] [ [ ] [ ] [knocking at door] come in. well, lester morton. how are ya? i'm just fine, hazel. how are you? i'm fine. well, you're just in time for a cup of coffee. oh, thanks. i was hoping you'd ask me for coffee. well, what do you know about that? how's the employment agency business? hazel, you wouldn't want to quit your job here and go to work for one of my clients, would you? oh, i see. is it that good, that you have to go around stealing other people's help? [chuckles] that's right. and besides, i want all the best housekeepers in town under my colors, in my own stable, so to speak. oh, i see. well, if i ever wanna go in a stable, i'll let you know. [chuckles] it's just a figure of speech. actually, hazel, business is so good that i've decided to sponsor a contest. i need your help. oh. what kind of a contest? it's a little promotional idea of mine. it should bring me a lot of good publicity. here. i brought you an entry blank. oh, well, i'm so busy. and besides, i'm getting kind of tired of entering contests. i thought you liked contests, hazel. yea

george. we must go to palm springs. - the new guided missile. (audience laughs) - i need you to pull the fuse. - i will. - excuse me, mr. morton. - why must we go to palm springs? he was coming to visit us tomorrow. - really? - i might never have known if gracie hadn't blurted out, "don't show him that letter from roger, blanche, "it might spoil his lunch." - sit down, harry, of course we'll go to palm springs. - oh bless you, george. - yes, we'll have a nice week. we'll have a good rest, we'll stop at the racquet club, i know charlie barrett will give us a rate. instead of $50 a day, i'm sure he'll bring it down to $45 a person. for you and blanche, it will be $90. of course, that's just for the room. and then the meals will be $25 per person, and there's green fees, and caddies, and taxis, and incidentals, and tips. the week shouldn't run you over 14 hundred dollars. (audience laughs) where you going, harry? - to have blanche remove our lunch from the car. and put out the welcome mat for roger. - harry, if you don't go to palm springs, i won't go. - well, that takes care of that little trick. those girls must be up to someth

morton? - oh, sure, everybody's starting to wear glasses. (audience laughs) - i'm here to help, i've been watching it, too. dear, blanche, alfred! - [gracie] george, what are you wearing those silly things for? you look ridiculous! (audience laughs) - (softly) alfred. ridiculous, but i'm glad you're wearing your glasses! - i wouldn't be without them! i want to be president someday, too. (audience laughs) - well, who am i to find the trend? good-bye, ladies. - good-bye, alfred. - i'm gonna phone mildred and tell her i wear glasses! - oh, wonderful, alfred! - [gracie] good! - you know, i'll be happy to wear them again. confidentially, i don't see as well without them as you think. - [both] good-bye, alfred! (audience laughs) - [alfred] oh, good-bye! forgot my hat. (audience laughs) (cheerful music) good-bye, and thanks for everything. - ronnie... you say you heard professor henderson say you were flunking in everything? - i can't understand it. i've worked very hard, i studied all night. - [mr. morton] well, ronald, you can't fight heredity. after all, you do have a parent with a somewhat addled brain. - mr. morton, i'll thank you not to talk about