love the hat. >> funny joke, greg. >> greg: you got the boots and the hat? >> excuse me while i whip this out. always wanted to say that. kind of mad about this. in my youth, please, get on the ground -- i would like to speak to a manager. the cop is like, sorry, sir, be right back. more time to get away. we've just lost our mind. customer service -- protecting you from criminals is customer service. kicking in the door and saving you is customer service. if anyone needs customer service, it's our men and women in blue that need customer service. and i would just like to say to the family of snakes that gave all of this to us, thank you. >> greg: snake skin? >> it was. it's my skin now. >> greg: one last one. we didn't talk about how the teacher's group are calling parents potential terrorists. we are now -- we entered the stage where we're we newsing the potential threat. have you noticed this? everyone can be a potential threat. i'm a potential threat for pointing this out. every since they did this whole there's an invisible terrorist domestic threat, eve

love the hat. >> funny joke, greg. >> greg: you got the boots and the hat? >> excuse me while i whip this out. always wanted to say that. kind of mad about this. in my youth, please, get on the ground -- i would like to speak to a manager. the cop is like, sorry, sir, be right back. more time to get away. we've just lost our mind. customer service -- protecting you from criminals is customer service. kicking in the door and saving you is customer service. if anyone needs customer service, it's our men and women in blue that need customer service. and i would just like to say to the family of snakes that gave all of this to us, thank you. >> greg: snake skin? >> it was. it's my skin now. >> greg: one last one. we didn't talk about how the teacher's group are calling parents potential terrorists. we are now -- we entered the stage where we're we newsing the potential threat. have you noticed this? everyone can be a potential threat. i'm a potential threat for pointing this out. every since they did this whole there's an invisible terrorist domestic threat, eve

it looked like a pitch for a job. >> greg: i think you are right. >> for a nominal fee. >> greg: highno one for 20twenty-four. 2024. it won't be joe or kamala harris? >> no it won't be. i love hating hillary clinton. it gives my life purpose. my hatred for hillary clinton made me a republican. i will always be grateful to her. i hope she never goes away. she is america's super villain. we need her to inspire a new generation of republicans. i hope she is here to stay and be evil and horrible for decades to come. >> i think she is horrible and corrupt but i think it's weird that despite being all of those things, she is really boring. >> greg: that's true. >> i watched that video. i was like is this over yet? normally i can hate watch anything. that's why i follow some of the people i follow on social media. interesting to hate them. i hate her and it's not even interesting. who would have watched her for a season? no one. >> greg: has your sleep become hell dreaming of office personnel? >> [cheers and applause]. type s will develop chronic kidney disease, or ckd. did you know ckd can

right now i'm going through good greg bad greg. >> jesse: take your time. >> dana: what does good gregay? >> greg: good greg says -- he feels this. that i feel absolutely awful for the victim's family. i feel awful for alec baldwin. i can't imagine hor 'dourves -- how horrible it will. he will be known for this the rest of his life. bad greg says if anyone of us had accidentsly shot and killed someone or a police officer, he would be all over it. he would show no such compassion. we know that he's done that to police officers online. he would destroy us. that's bad greg. so good greg is going to say okay, this is about training. this is about violating the golden rules of handling guns. one, you always point it in the safe direction and number 2, your finger is always off the trigger, this goes in movies and keep if gun unloaded until you use it and treat all guns as though they're loaded. that's what i learned from my nra training. i learned those things. as a neurotic, i'm a very good gun owner. so what might have caused this? carelessness and probably comfort in the sense that you'r

>> exactly. >> greg: it so insane.black man hitting a white woman, this story is not a story. if you are not shining a light on it, it's not really getting talked about it as it goes against that narrative that white people are evil and we have it coming to us, which i think is so cheap and stupid and this is the reality that politicians created that they themselves don't live in. and i think even getting beyond race, we will see more of this because the subways what? a constant reminder that things are going well for you in life. you know timing? you are stuck on the subway. everybody's mad come everybody's the worst version of themselves. do you ever have one of those moments where you want to catch the train and the door shuts right in front of your face you say god, i hope that [bleep] train blows up. >> greg: i've never felt that way. >> you don't take the train. >> the second later the doors open and you are on the train. >> greg: i felt that way when i was watching sliding doors. a call back to a 1996 film starr

with tattoos, greg? this rib, i got this. >> greg: all right. that was a crazy show with her and larry. should let anybody talk. yapping away. i think we have time for one more. i can't member when this is, what is this one, tom? robots. oh, the weird x. this is a great sit gnomic skits. we were doing a segment on how biden keeps blame and trump, and we thought without working relationships? >> this place is such a mess. i am so sick of this! >> stop blaming me, it's not my foot, it's your express of his. >> and there's never any food in the fridge. >> it's not my fault, it's your x. >> you are such a slob! >> it's your x. >> stop blaming my expert everything! >> he's literally right over there! [scattered applause] >> you leave him alone, okay? we are in love. ♪ ♪ [scattered applause. >> greg: two things about that. well, three things. number one, he doesn't say anything. >> he made a noise and it was money. and i like the finishing music at the end of it making it into like it's going to come back afte

greg.: i said before the show i asked both of you to behave. >> we weren't the one acting like mom when she had a tupperware party and at my cleats on the house. he won't come back. like, relax. now to be serious for a moment. this is the highest level of addiction and an enabler that is exactly -- see how i killed it. see? this is what -- why would you ever allow your addicts son access to money? not to mention the american people's money? it is unbelievably disgusting, and he is just as culpable because if it was about the love of my son, he would be in rehab right now. he would be -- the last thing you would ever allow your addict son would be access to free money. >> greg: not true. all right herein i think we learned a lot today. you are in for a ride, brats. we have a whole segment where we just line dance. i'm next, it takes kids with an acting deal to make mvp seem real ♪ ♪ tums vs. mozzarella stick when heartburn hits, fight back fast with tums chewy bites. fast heartburn relief in

>> exactly. >> greg: it so insane.black man hitting a white woman, this story is not a story. if you are not shining a light on it, it's not really getting talked about it as it goes against that narrative that white people are evil and we have it coming to us, which i think is so cheap and stupid and this is the reality that politicians created that they themselves don't live in. and i think even getting beyond race, we will see more of this because the subways what? a constant reminder that things are going well for you in life. you know timing? you are stuck on the subway. everybody's mad come everybody's the worst version of themselves. do you ever have one of those moments where you want to catch the train and the door shuts right in front of your face you say god, i hope that [bleep] train blows up. >> greg: i've never felt that way. >> you don't take the train. >> the second later the doors open and you are on the train. >> greg: i felt that way when i was watching sliding doors. a call back to a 1996 film starr

>> greg: i don't know.to beep up the irs is funding and power and now the bill may include a mandate that will in and force banks to turn over to the irs and you will cash flows. the threshold with any account with over $600, or any american with a side hustle recycling beer cans. as if your annual tax filing wasn't already a overcomplicated mass. now they will track your transactions in a mass of data grab to soak you dry. treasury secretary janet yellen, or janet line, am i right? says this will help catch tax dodgers. people with 600 books are now considered wealthy, which will be the case when they drain us all of our savings. 600 bucks is nothing these days, especially for kat. did you know what that gets her in her life? 20 bottles of cuervo, 100 jell-o shots at a cancun hotel, or three complete cleanings and an uber after she throws up in them the night before. >> i'm not really a puker. >> greg: that's good to know. do you believe this? do you believe this? do you believe this is all about finding t

>> greg: an american hero!tch as he has assigned destroyed. >> why is he breaking my sign? why is he breaking my sign? [indiscernible] free speech. >> he's got a weapon! he's got a weapon! >> greg: [laughs] so they destroyed a sign that said "we like dave." talk about horrible violent message. some employees have issued a list of demands, including disclaimers first repels special saying it contains transform a claim misogyny, and then of course hate speech. i would like the program to be labeled as dull, racist and full of what think it's. if they find a joke so bad, why don't they come jump up into the arena and better ones. that's what i did as late-night host coming clearly it is working out. [scattered cheers] >> greg: bathe me in the applause! this reminds all of us, and me, how awesome free speech really is. check out this protest outside our offices earlier today. >> hey, hey, brian kilmeade has got to go. brian kilmeade has got to go. hey hey, brian kilmeade has got to go. hey hey, brian kilmeade is go

. >> greg: really?ould prefer the guy be naked. speak out you would be like this guy with a jean jacket, he knows what is up. he humble but fun. >> greg: no. i would say is in the sky living in a trailer out back? >> maybe he has because he works too hard and just wants people to accept them. >> don't say that by people who live in trailers. >> what did he do before real estate because i imagine this is not the first time he has pitched it. working at the hardware store, once an ad for the hardware store? i can get naked. >> greg: it does raise a question about how necessary clothing is. >> all the other real estate pages look the same. perfectly set of photos. >> and all their clothing. >> greg: that is the missing piece here. the business card. real estate agents -- he should be naked on his business card. instead of the yellow jacket and -- always wearing a yellow jacket and looking like they just buried someone. >> and every house he's house has a ballroom. >> greg: . michael. >> i had to after hers

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[cheers and applause] >> greg: it's funny. education isn't ignorance, it's indoctrination. >> that's right. >> greg: you are a comedian. i got a chuckle out of that. do you perform on campuses, do you find any resistance to her edgy humor, your razor-sharp wit? [laughter] >> yeah, you know, the kids love me. i'm connected with jen c. i'm out there getting jiggy with it, they love me. >> greg: they love your grunge look. >> everything about me is just perfect for colleges. please book me. contact your student advisor. bring me to campus. i'm just selling everything tonight. >> greg: yeah, yeah. >> look. i know wokeness kind of stuff is generally speaking a selectively applied low-voltage reign of terror. we all know that. but i disagree with you, kat. the skull stuff. guys i was in one of these museums, you know how they have the pharaohs, they have the home thewhole mommy there. they didn't pack that guy up ten years ago to be in the museum on fifth avenue. a bunch of tourists in cargo shorts walking around. that's not what th

him >> greg: you're not a fan of rap music?a president who got 85 million votes, the most votes ever and people are spontaneously like making up mocking cheers for him all over the country, it becomes the number one song. it senses there's something rotten in denmark, sorry for the literary allusion. >> greg: denmark it's a bad rap by shakespeare, don't you think? >> of course. >> greg: let's do a whole hour on that. what do you think? >> i think it's great to see the mockery because the left to its mockery and how do you not make fun of joe biden? if he's so thin skinned which is what happens after a face-lift, the skin thins out. think of how hilarious this is, think back to last week on cnn when he was in that weird fist clenched pose. p looked like someone who was on family feud and gave a terrible answer and all the other democrats instead of saying good answer -- survey says, you are lame. i think we should mock all of our presidents. >> greg: absolutely. it's nice that conservatives are actually kind of learning from the

hello. >> dana: are greg's one more thing. >> greg: animals are great. ♪ animals are great. >> greg:g and in this case it's a horse. and i thought i had a lot of clever stuff to say about it but you know what, screw it? i'm mad now that our omts were too similar. i would have talked about how mad the horse is to be pulled by a little dog. that seems like a complete like what do you call it marginalization of being a horse demoralizing. do you know what? i'm checking out. no more animals are great. >> dana: done? killing it right now. >> greg: i'm killing it. >> judge jeanine: good. it's my turn. >> dana: don't worry america. we will keep it jeanine is next. >> judge jeanine: i want to thank john rasmussen who did something, too. he did a sketch of sir lancelot meeting mickey moto at the bridge. greg is laughing, everybody. >> greg: painting scene. >> judge jeanine: i'm still speaking. anyway, my fellow still very lonely that's sir lancelot and mikimoto dancing at the rainbow bridge. i brought in bingly and mr. darr'sy. there we are. mr. darcy, the handsome won on the left and bingly

>> greg: no.l roll. >> jesse: everybody does that, geraldo. >> geraldo: i was at scotto's at the bar. i was talking with a guy that was very accomplished. he told me his achievements. he said now i have to outlive my sister. >> katie: jesse? >> jesse: i hope my sister is not competing with me. that would be sad. >> katie: shannon? >> greg: you're going to get a mom text. >> shannon: i am my siblings biggest fans. my brother just got promoted to lieutenant colonel. we cheer for each other. >> greg: so shannon. >> jesse: i want to apologize to my sister. i didn't really mean that. >> greg: you're evil and cloak it in nice. >> geraldo: you can't take it back. >> jesse: she's not watching fox. she's never seen the show. >> katie: if my brother starts competing in me, i'll be in trouble. he's a smart engineer. >> shannon: one more thing up next. ♪♪ ray loves vacations. but his diabetes never seemed to take one. everything felt like a 'no'. everything. but then ray went from no to know. with freestyle l

greg gutfeld takes it all from here. ♪ ♪ [applause] ♪ ♪ >> greg: happy thursday, america.eat news to report, plus, julie banderas is hung over. what a surprise. am i right? she poured herself into this chair appeared she looks terrible. but that's okay, we'll give you a little break right now, because we are going to have seven jokes. >> seven jokes. ♪ ♪ >> greg: both american and southwest airlines say they will comply with president biden's order to force their employees to be vaccinated. meanwhile, spirit airlines will begin requiring their employees to brush their teeth. is that to mean? i don't know, that's one. president of the notorious association so that kids may not get with what their kids want this christmas due to national shortages. unbelievable that she is. you know him, the raiders approach will be removed from the buccaneers ring of honor over emails that can sick thomas contained racist insults. that is an apples to oranges comparison since there is no proof simpson sent me emails. right? >> he was acquitted. >> greg: he was acquitted paired the global su

greg gutfeld takes it all from here. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [applause] >> greg: happy glorious wednesday, everyone.wednesday it is. or was because it's late. earlier this week, people really freaked out about china launching that nuclear-capable hypersonic missile. it's an advance in weaponry that surprise u.s. officials. he knew that china would launch something harmful that ends up going around the world? probably should have been prepared for that. apparently the rock you ended up missing its target by only 24 miles. but it like getting up in the middle of the night to it is close enough to matter. i think we are focusing on the wrong stuff. china may have just launched a hypersonic weapon, but we are killing them and so many other areas. like for example, they only have two pronouns. we have 237. and despite launching a rocket, they have no diversity programs. have you ever seen a picture of all of their astronauts? they are all chinese. how dare you clap for that's racism. meanwhile, we are really good at building binary bathrooms complete with private changing rooms in place you feel like hit

greg gutfeld. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: welcome to another monumental monday, you marvelous maniacs.e start of our first halloween weeklong extravaganza. as you can see, i am in costume. i came tonight as jesse walker. you can tell i am him from the tweed's and inflated self-esteem. it's so convincing that on my way to work, i was pelted with wet garbage and that was from his mother. but before we get to the news, it's time for a very special halloween episode of our favorite new sitcom. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> tonight's episode, in human resources. i am sure you are aware of all the horrific things that have been happening around the got field offices and we in human resources, we cannot tolerate, tolerate this. >> greg: what does this have to do with me? i had to go hit shows. what is the deal here. >> let me refresh your memory. >> my god. >> what's wrong question mike >> are you all right? speak on nothing. i'm just seeing things. >> you have been working really hard. thursday. probably need something to drink ♪ ♪ >> greg: we did that on a limited budget. i can't believe he did not ta

they would be horrified. >> greg: dana, that was from america's newsroom. >> dana: great job. >> greg: seems like something we cooked up, which means it is good. port of entry, martha's vineyard, it is very clever, it made the news. it is legitimately correct. >> dana: yes, he made the point this morning and we've been saying this, too, president biden never gone to the border. kamala harris, in charge of the border, doesn't go. say there is a natural disaster, what does the president do? goes down and views the damage. okay, we need emergency declaration, this is what they need and you make sure they get everything they need. they ignore this. what is interesting, president trump had taken all the grief for all the things on immigration. all president biden had to do was maintain status quo. instead they did a twitter poll and made policy based on that, what you end up having, poisoned the well against the need and demand for legal immigration. people here wait nothing line trying to get it done legally, it made the issue toxic. the other thing, because of the flores agreement, the c

greg gutfeld takes it all from here. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: happy thursday, everyone -- control yourselves.we get to the news, let's continue our halloween week with episode 3 of our favorite sitcom. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> tonight's episode, a killer commute. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [screaming] >> then they told me it was a 2246 -- would you look at this? i've seen it a million times. another miniature red plastic car running over a coworker after being driven recklessly by a tiny greg gutfeld dummy. it never gets any easier. what a waste of tape. >> greg: it's the only way to silence emily compagno. back to the news and as always when it comes to the news. everything is racist! that's right, everything is racist, food, jokes, vaccines, pigeons, that weird feeling you get when you insert your finger into your belly button. then it turns out it's not your belly button or anyone else's -- the only thing that's not racist are actual racists. do you know what a docent is? i had no idea until now. it's a term that describes volunteer guides at museums, they are usually older white ladies who walk around not tellg you not t

i'm greg gutfeld.i am mike emanuel in washington for shannon bream tonight. breaking, late night on capitol hill as the future president biden's legislative agenda hangs in the balance. the democratic divide overspending only deepening while the white house is left to try and cover for it. >> has the pre

>> greg: that's why we hired him. who is more emotional come at you or your wife? >> without question, i am. a little more than 25 years ago, i went literally stark raving mad. off the charts. she was very common and instructed me and showed the path to get out. and i sampled a few of them. >> greg: i think it would be a little high. just a few. >> men are very sensitive, particularly billionaire men. [laughs] >> greg: tyrus, this is a bogus study. if you showed differences, that would be sexist and stereotypical and so everybody has to show that they are all the same. >> they say men are as emotional as women because when we get dumped, we go out and get hit by a truck or we walk into a bar and say come at you for guys, let's do this. or we date a really unattractive woman because she doesn't remind us of what walked out on us. [laughter] so that's not dealing with your emotions. but i'm lying. if we were able to express ourselves, we wouldn't be in those decisions. we wouldn't buy cars when we are 50 that we don't f

with your husband. >> greg: i told you -- >> no, we are very happy. >> greg: your point is well taken sense that somebody like you or any of us can move but there are elderly people here, there are poor people that grew up here that can't go anywhere and they have to deal with this stuff. the little old lady can't go to the cbs any more because none of her stuff is there or she will get pushed and killed. tyrus, it was more like a statement than a question. >> yeah, because i'm not trying to push and kill any old ladies any time soon. it's not really cost-effective. doesn't get the respect it used to. what you went for? i got three grandmas. my god. >> greg: it is weird that it is -- i thought that was off limits. >> i've been giving this a lot of thought because -- we don't really talk about the show you get a rundown -- but the joke is kind of on us. in your monologue you made a great point because we are slowly -- when they keep talking about the coup that happened january 6, there is a coup happening right now to our american way of life where we are trying to be turned into a wel

i'm greg gutfeld.@ night" i am grace -- in for shannon bream. and breaking tonight a late night at the capitol hill ends a weeklong standoff as the senate votes to temporary lift the debt ceiling by $480 billion. >> we have averted it at least for now. >> trace: the breaking details coming soon plus mounting c

what do you think, greg? five years later. >> greg: select, i tell you!do you need that the left has their thumb on every scale? this is especially amazing, because she dismissed a supreme court justice's cogent the pain and is a product of some kind of cognitive decline, as if this malicious elf has the iq to do that. "this is such a bad take, i'd better shield her, because it's not her take." >> jesse: was to shield her, or protect the cause of the kneeling? what do you think? l >> greg: both >> dana: i think they were protecting her. who is katie couric to assume that ruth bader ginsburg needed protected? she said it on purpose. remember, they tried to get her to retire and she said no? she knew what she was doing. if you were yahoo! news, wouldn't you be mad? it's all about the clicks. she passed on giving that. let me tell you, if somebody here did an interview with justice thomas, and he did something provocative and ten years from now wrote a book and said "you wouldn't believe what he said, and i protected him," you would be average? >> jesse: its

i'm friends with all kinds of people, even with greg. [laughter] >> greg: barely at this point!,000 dead americans, i have zero patience for people who are not getting vaccinated. i am all for, 100% in, for vaccine mandates. furthermore, the thing i detest his vaccinated people who are cheering on the unvaccinated to stand up for their freedoms. >> jesse: you don't like people standing up for their freedoms? [laughter] >> geraldo: this is like a mob on the street telling the person on the ledge "jump." when you are vaccinated, you want people to be vaccinated, and to pretend that it is a civil rights issue -- the government, supreme court has ruled on this. the law is settled. >> jesse: it is a state issue, geraldo. >> geraldo: it's not. >> jesse: it is. massachusetts is in the -- >> greg: i always have one of my productions go correctly. my prediction was that geraldo hates the unvaccinated more than he hates the rapist. >> geraldo: you say things that are so crazy sometimes. [laughter] my ears get read. >> greg: john oliver, i think he either bought or sold a $10 million apart

. ♪ >> greg:. >> greg: hi, i'm greg gutfeld with judge jeanine peer 0, geraldo rivera and jesse wattersnd if you lock your keys in the car she can squeeze between the weather stripping, dana perino, the five. ♪ >> greg: president biden finally addressing the supply chain jam that threatens to royal, yes, royal the holiday season. and also jesse, jr.'s christmas gift. it's terrible. comes amid a slew of bad headlines showing joe's met more fa sus into jimmy cart is is almost complete. they're quitting jobs at a record pace, inflation surging more than expected in september with consumers paying 5.4% more for goods compared to last year. and the white house is warning shoppers their stockings are going to look empty. not mine. outright saying there will be things that people can't get. here's the president. >> the port of los angeles announced today that it's going to begin operating 24 hours a day, seven days a week. today's announcement has the potential to be a game changer. fed-ex and ups, two of our nation's biggest freight mores are committing today to significantly increase the amo

he inspired me. >> joe mackie inspired by ted bundy, back to you. >> greg: greg, by the way. it's funny, we make movies about corruption on wall street, movies about corruption in government and regarding corrupt cops, devoted to taking isolated events and applying it to the entire system, the brush they paint with was any broader, it would be a kardashians ass. yet, the stops there. not with elections over the media but you see it's the corruption that leads to the corruption of elections. shifting focus away from hunter, china, and joe. no wonder he has to be so surprised by this. they cling to january 6th mike leonardo dicaprio clinging to a blanket. all to keep the target on the people they hate and protect those they don't which is why i was thinking about she did us all a favor. she showed us how the sausage is made and that it tastes awful which is may be why we stop eating it. welcome tonight's guest, if she hears one more southern stereotype, she will whack you with her banjo. plus, business anchor dagen mcdowell. he dresses for the job he wants, 1980s bookie. i he w

stay tuned for that greg, you are next. >> greg: all right.omorrow, saturday, october 9th, i will be live in memphis, tennessee at the sound stage at grace land. i think there is like 10 tickets left go g. gutfeld.com. do you know what we need? ♪ animals are great ♪ animals are great ♪ animals are great >> greg: do you know what? this pumpkin thing at the oregon zoo. animals are our godgeous. red pandas are interesting. greatest of all time a goat. see what i did there? my favorite the bear and the poor could you pine. adorable. tortoise, i want a tortoise, there he is. he is pissed off. he wants to play with it and last, but not least, the cutest animals on earth the otters. look as the them forever. sea otters. they're like dogs in the water. >> kennedy: very cute. monogamous they mate for life. thank you for sharing with us, greg. >> jesse: how do you know that. >> kennedy: i have little factoids. >> jesse: are you sure they don't sleep around, kennedy? how does she know? >> greg: hard hitting question. >> shannon: hard rock live theater in

judge. >> jeanine: greg. >> harold: greg gutfeld. [laughter] >> greg: i'm trying to think.> dana: bill hemmer makes me laugh. >> greg: but unintentionally. [laughter] >> greg: he walks up to and goes "hey what's going on?" [laughter] >> dana: he loves the anniversary. he's a big time -- he loves the anniversary so much. "one more thing" is up next. ♪ ♪ . . i brought in ensure max protein, with thirty grams of protein. those who tried me felt more energy in just two weeks! ( sighs wearily ) here, i'll take that! ( excited yell ) woo-hoo! ensure max protein. with thirty grams of protein, one-gram of sugar, and nutrients to support immune health! ( abbot sonic ) greg greg one more thing, dana. >> dana: time nor corny jokes. here we go. harold, have you bo never done this. this is in honor of our 25 year anniversary. number one, how do you always remember an anniversary? how do you always remember an anniversary? >> jesse: the date? >> dana: you forget it once. because your wife will get so mad. >> dana: it's corny. it's funny. why did the couple met online get married? >> judg

take the pass, greg gutfeld!g to your 16-year-old daughters and her friends. you can whisper those in my ear too. [laughter] you are right about bill maher and a chapelle. when one of their own -- adam corolla mention this -- when one of their own, liberal, goes outside the boundaries for liberal doctrine, they get hammered, because the mob has to stick together to be effective. you cannot have people freelancing in the mob, or else they cannot search and destroy. this is about making sure you contain people like they did with nicki minaj, kanye west. you've got to stay inside the circle. if you start going out and making fun of things you are not allowed to make fun of, no you're not allowed to do that. >> geraldo: would be interested to see how bold netflix remains as they get assailed from all these groups. >> jesse: whispered in my ear. [laughter] >> geraldo: next, vice president kamala harris wisely mocked face video. that's an actor. [laughter] it got weirder than you think. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ before you go there, or

remember that greg, one more thing for you to remember. >> greg: very good. jesse: we will get to you later. great spirit animal, i finally found my spirit animal someone hopelessly neurotic and anxious about everything. check out this duck. basically me most of the time. running around. i'm always forgetting stuff. forget my keys. i forgot my wallet. leave. got to bring my mask. got to wear my mask. this is every time i leave to go work. >> jesse: more like your assistant than you. >> greg: you do not assist shame me good sir. i have my assistant tail me wherever i go. >> jesse: body guard. >> katie: i will tell you someone tailing wherever he went look at this video. >> is that a shark? >> katie: not supposed to swim in this lake he did get bitten on the arm. i think he was in shock. lucky for him. >> jesse: will. >> jesse: studio m. not here. [laughter] >> katie: if you have an extra $680,000 i have a new ride for you new hover bike available motorcycle on top of a drone 62 miles per hour. produced by a company in tokyo called aoi technology. think the faa

manners. >> greg: not good.s, tennessee grace land tickets are still available go to g gutfeld.com see the date october 9th. i will also be in birmingham in november, newark, new jersey 12th that's going to be great. catch me in grace land. should be fun, special guest. haven't done this in a while. i hate these people. >> do you know everybody facebook and twitter. do you know who we are not paying attention to? next door app. do any of have you next door app.? i signed up for it hey, maybe i need a plumber. maybe i need a handy man. neighborhood next door app. it won't stop. all you get are these alerts of people complaining about speeding cars and noisy dogs. what's this in my yard? i can't tell, is this a beaver or a tree? unsubscribe next door app. three times. and i could not get the stupid alerts 20, 30 of them from shut-ins. lonely shut-s in stop it next door app. you are ruining my neighborhood experience. jesse: you are calling someone else a shut-in. >> greg: yes. jesse: you who never left his house.

greg spoke a few years ago. let's say i'm glad i followed greg. >> greg: ha!, don jr., sarah palin. that's what we like to call fair and balanced. tune in at 7:00. tonight and all the of the week. >> greg: i want to read a text. "i have recurring dreams that i have to go number two and every toilet is filled. i'm in a mall and running to the next restroom." that's in my brain. >> dana: sharing a dream. >> greg: it's weird. we are all the same. greg's weather report. the weather has been weird. let's go to the goldendoodles. looks like we have 80% chance of high winds with a 73% chance of wild hair. great weather for flying a kite but not for being a golden doodle. you have to be -- have your mousse and hair spray. >> jesse: i've filled in when you were off. >> dana: harold. >> harold: the reason my kids love greg is because you show those dog videos. they probably watch them with their mom. michael jordan, so the bees selling off the first pair of sneakers. the sneakers are owned by a fellow who used it to be a ball boy for the denver nuggets. jordan gave them

>> greg: i also went to a white man's farm. anyway, do this. greg's haunted dog house news.dog being trained. the owner is trained for security reasons. but he trained him using a haunted house. let's see how the dog did. uses a run them up through different things. >> dana: oh me, gosh. >> greg: he handles it quite well. weighs not phased at all during this training exercise they had skelton tons, other things. i didn't watch. >> jesse: he handled it better than dana and i did. >> dana: i was just thinking about that the other day. >> greg: why don't we find out how you handled it. [screams] >> dana: oh my god. [screams] [laughter] >> greg: those were the days. >> dana: that one was too, too much. >> jesse: we were putting it on a little bit. >> dana: were you? i was not. i tucked in and hid behind jesse the whole time. harold? >> harold: he wasn't kidding. i want to take a second to give a shout out to my man manard maynard. congrats to you. second today at the 35th anniversary. >> jesse: getting a little too comfortable. >> harold: 86 world series. show this. >> greg: sho

greg is singing. >> greg: i am. i am.animals. the definition of a jesse spirit animal is an animal that kind of evokes jesse's vanity. jesse cannot walk by a film camera or mirror without stopping much like these sea lions who notice they are being filmed and cannot stop this is totally a jesse move. >> jesse: where did this thing start? >> greg: started on for chan. reddit. >> dana: he doesn't surf the board. >> greg: people on tiktok are doing these of you. terrible. >> dana: jesse? >> jesse: check out this crazy video from oklahoma. [train] >> dana: this is terrible. i can't watch this. >> jesse: everybody died. >> greg: no. >> jesse: no one died. four or five cars got stuck on a railroad track and couldn't get freed before a massive amtrak train came flying by. no one was even seriously hurt. minor injuries. >> dana: incredible. thank goodness. >> jesse: his dog was shaken up. who hasn't been shaken up. amazing no one got hurt. you have got to watch the trucks. trucking shortage. one less truck. >> dana: but the survi

greg: yes. >> not really.: you hate america you hate the military break grid okay that's a totally fair conclusion. address from the fact i do not have with that particular man. therefore i hate the truth. >> you are somehow attracted to the armed robber. >> may be a little bit. >> i knew it always the bad guy. you make me sick to my >>. did you have a point or should we move on? >> i think i made a very important point. >> yes you did i don't if it is important but you did make a point. would you have done in the situation you are an investor, multi- zillion dollar guy, you would have had bodyguards but. >> i salute this guy he did it himself. do not makes me sad about it isto they've got to save their cool moves now to use in american than places like afghanistan. now the stuff is happening in our gas stations here. it's an inspiring story of the guys clearly awesome when he to do something for him. i think the fact you're seeing america's cities, chicago might be a scarier place than half of the places in t

well protected. >> one more thing, greg. >> greg: we haven't done this for a while.ey are really robots. check out robo dynamics. out of the university of missouri game, tigers facing off the volunteers like you care. look at this clever cute. it's not really a robot if someone is controlling it i have always felt boston dynamics selling aus a bill of goods. >> is that robot twerking? >> by the way it is doing the running man. deign day running robot. pretty good. >> greg: i don't know if this counts as a robot but i want one. don't leave a lot of poop. just batteries. >> jesse: most sports gutfeld watched all weekend. >> greg: i didn't know there was sports. >> jesse: grandparents wish them a happy 65th wedding anniversary. 65 years of marriage. september 29th, 1956. got the whole tammy together to celebrate. they watched the rutgers game. that's whereby they met at rutgers. rutgers got slaughtered i think they lost by maybe five touchdowns, terrible game but great day. nan and pop, congratulations. >> kennedy: we love you guys no matter where you are. every october

greg steube had 90 pitches.get a report of how long they were going to let him go. >> roger williams going into the high 100s. we will have to see. >> strike one. >> how do you pull rags to be after he has been pitching and he hit a home run? >> that's true, all kinds of rules. >> jon ossoff takes his lead from first. 1-1 is high, not in time. corrects jon ossoff -- >> jon ossoff gets his third of the night. >> one of the younger lawmakers playing tonight. >> 2-1 ossoff at second base. trying to hold them off kelly -- kevin brady. corrects you mentioned they have played more than 80 times -- >> the fact that it is 42-42 and one tie, it is amazing in his that evenly divided. -- it is that evenly divided. >> when you think about the streaks, too. 2-2, swing and a miss. >> colin allred with the strikeout and the third out of the inning as the democrats push two more across and have a 10-7 lead. ♪ >> this is nationals park in washington, d.c. where the annual congressional baseball game is underway. proceeds from th

contractors, _ greg. we were at camps all over africa. contractors, we - greg.all over africa. contractors, we have - africa. contractors, we have been working in mozambique for a long time so we had a big mozambique workforce. jagi a long time so we had a big mozambique workforce. jogi was also in mozambique _ mozambique workforce. jogi was also in mozambique that - mozambique workforce. jogi was also in mozambique that day. . mozambique workforce. jogi was j also in mozambique that day. he had come to the town looking for work. located in northern mozambique, palma was booming. because of the $20 million gas project being built by french energy giant hotel. works had been suspended amid concerns it could be the target of islamist militants. but that very morning, it announced it was starting up again after the government promised extra security in the area. in the fields nearby, local residents were working there small farms. this woman was among them, with a large family, including her granddaughter. that morning, greg sent me two pictures of the clouds over

. ♪ ♪ >> greg: i'm greg gutfeld along with katie pavlich, harold ford jr., jesse watters, and she bungeeps off a step stool, perino. "the five." ♪ ♪ fox news alert, potential major breakthrough in the manhunt for brian laundrie. the fbi confirming that they have what appears to be human remains at florida wilderness park along with personal items belonging to laundrie, laura ingle's is in gabby petito's town with the latest. >> hey, great, no confirmation, a lot of people were hoping to hear the fbi say something about who these human remains belong to, but we did not get that in the press conference moments ago. but the fbi giving us a significant update in the search for brian laundrie. and one of the things that caught our ear and the press conference was that they said that brian laundrie was a person of interest in the murder of gabby petito. they never use that language before, the fbi holding the news conference about the human remains that were found today. listen. >> earlier today, investigators found what appears to be human remains along with personal items such as a backpack,

in the morning, greg always gave me a morning call.n south africa, mum meryl kept in daily contact with her two sons and their dad, who were working in mozambique. i think they all just loved the life in mozambique — beautiful people and beautiful beaches. love you, bro. love you, my man. that morning, her sons wesley and adrian were at the building site with their dad, greg. we build camps all over africa. we're contractors. we'd been working in mozambique for a long time, so we had a big mozambican workforce. johji was also in parma that day. like many mozambicans, he had come to the town looking for work. located in northern mozambique, parma was booming because of a $20 billion gas project being built by french energy giant total. works had been suspended amid concerns it could be the target of islamist militants. but that very morning, total announced it was starting up again, after the after the government promised extra security in the area. in the fields nearby, local residents were working their small farms. in the fields near

we will get to greg peters any moment. greg peters of pgim. but i am absolutely baffled by the narrative out there that la garde will need to address at 8:30. lisa: the question of how much she will push back, how much kenji? i would argue -- how much can she? i would argue much of what we are seeing is synchronized trading. so how much can she pull back and move the euro away from that dynamic that really has gone global echo -- has gone global? tom: i want to look at caterpillar here. people in the bond market talk, it is a transitory caterpillar, but i wonder to what. kailey: i think they see a lot of these pressures easing up a bit. for caterpillar, they talk about everything for labor to material costs to freight costs, and yet they were able to report profit 20% above what analysts are expecting. this isn't just a story we have seen with caterpillar. by and large, companies are beating to the upside. they are retaining margin. the average margin expansion is 40 basis points from the earnings propping of this equity market. tom: it does f

greg's heavy metal christmas!haos underway it's hard to figure out what you're going to get the kids, make up a heavy metal christmas by ordering the new melton's album, acoustic covers of all their songs. five cds, 36 tracks, all the classics like civilized worm and don't forget to breathe in and night goats. they even do some covers like everybody's talking but my favorite song of all time is on their. you would like it, i would call it deranged metal but with the beach boys vibe. you've got to get that. >> i will check it out. >> time for an addition of mom texts. your opening statement about 9/11 is understood tonight, not crazy inflammatory end out there, i agreed. you just appeared, it's a review of pandemic powers. number 2, how can you make statements like i don't trust to the irs, if you live in russia or perhaps you prefer to. number 3 come i sure hope you're watching and please do not support the undermining governors of texas, florida, et cetera, they are criminals hurting their constituents. >> she cr

guy: as ever greg, we believe there. -- as ever. greg, we will leave it there bank. greg valliere.uch indeed. this is bloomberg. ♪ guy: euro close lower. u.s. markets on a more positive position. the s&p up .5%. the nasdaq up .2%. let's dig into what is happening under the surface. kriti gupta is here with the details. kriti: one of the biggest movers is mark. not only were there -- is merck. it works across all variants, including delta. that will be a game changer in fighting the covid-19 virus. looking at some of these other vaccines. novavax, moderna, pfizer all down. you also have china saying -- australia sang china's vaccine is getting approved ahead of their reopening. let's look at another deal catching some news. we talked about how the reopening trait is losing steam. it turns out it is bid hitting zoom shares where it kills about one third of that value. why is the stock up. analysts say they are good standalone companies. traders saying we think it is a fair bet. though shares up higher. i want to end with crypto stocks. you cannot do a market check without thinking ab