okay. >> chris: do you want to meet my friend jimmy kimmel? wow. >> jimmy: hello women. >> chris: hello, how you doing? >> jimmy: i am doing well, how are are you? >> has anybody told you guys you look alike. >> jimmy: have you met chris pratt. >> yes. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. >> do we look alike? >> jimmy: you look somewhat alike you both have the same ears. >> okay. that's usually not what people compare but we'll take it. >> we'll take it. >> jimmy: is it this weirdest thing that has happened to you today? >> yeah, i think so. >> yeah. >> jimmy: thank you, and have a nice day. >> thank you. >> we also hope you have a nice day. >> jimmy: good-bye. we're looking at your butts. >> why hello there. i am an advanced artificial intelligence made to look like hollywood celebrity chris pratt. how are you johnson family? >> good. >> doing well. >> did you enjoy guardians of the galaxy mission breakout. >> it was awesome. >> loved it. >> got my heart going still. >> chris: did anyone crap their pants? >> no. [laughter] >> chris: are you ready to see

this one is jimmy kimmel and there's a lot of numbers there. this is my real personal account. s not my real personal -- that is my 2nd & but that is not my real personalment. this is jimmy underscore kimmel l looks like an l. dm me your e-mail let's talk on hangout. yeah, let's go place, do things. this is jkimmel possum, this is me in marsupial form. and then we have this guy. this is interesting, james s kimmel. he's not pretending to be me but he kind of looks like my father who is also james kimmel. actually he looks a lot like my father who is also james kimmel but he is not my father. i think. go back to the other guy so i can compare. all right, one of these men is my father and now that maury is retired i may never know which one. it's now day 7 of the ongoing drama to catch a president. you know, donald trump announced he would be arrested a week ago today. he remains an unwanted man seven days later. the grand jury in new york is not expected to queen tomorrow which means the earliest they can vote on an indictment would be next week. in the meantime he's been busy sa

. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, salma hayek pinault, billy crudup, and music from justine skye, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: welcome. thanks. that's very nice. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. and i thank you for watching and for joining us. i don't know, i spent the whole day watching football yesterday. you know, the matchup for super bowl lvii is set. the philadelphia eagles will play the kansas city chiefs in phoenix, arizona. the eagles dominated the shorthanded san francisco 49ers. the niners, i don't know if you watched it, they started the game with this rookie sensation, this kid, brock purdy. he started the season a third stringer, so when he got hurt, they brought in a fourth string qb, josh johnson, and then he got hurt. they were this close to bringing in whichever cheerleader had the strongest arm. they lost. after the game, fans in philly took to the streets to celebrate the way philly fans celebrate, loudly and drunkenly. the

right now on jimmy kimmel, chris pratt.night. >> previously on "jimmy kimmel live". >> oh, nice. >> oh, my god! are you all right? bro, are you good? >> yeah, imin. >> are you all right? >> from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, chris pratt plus music from lukas and michael nelson with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [cheers and applause]

on jimmy kimmel live . oh, from hollywood. jimmy kimmel live. might be giants. j thank you for watching. joining us here. have a good weekend. i gotta tell you, it's all for me. it's always a fun start to the weekend when i'm in the car with 56 year olds on the way home from a long birthday party day, universal studios suddenly everybody you know, starts texting. did you see what trump said about you all at once? and then the kids start asking. what did donald trump say about you? well, kids what the former president of united states said about me and stephen colbert and all the late night hosts, i guess is this these losers are dying. there are bad for our country. which is in serious decline. nobody wants to watch this negativity anymore. there's nothing funny about them. they're highly overpaid, easily replaceable fools. and yet unlike you, we still have our jobs so. gluten talking about negativity. he is out of his mind right now . i know he's been crazy for a long time, maybe even forever, but it's ratcheting up. i'm telling you, he was on this podcast. thi

. >> from hollywood, "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, seth rogen, rachel zegler, and music from sunny war with music from cleto and the cletones! and now, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. welcome. [cheers and applause] thank you for watching, all the clapping and everything, happy pi day, it is 3/14, which i think pi day was like the first date-based holiday. now we have for 20 for smoking weed, we have may the 4th is "star wars" day, 8/17 i jeffrey dahmer day. do you get that, guillermo? >> i do. >> jimmy: explain it to us. >> i'm not sure, jimmy. i know about taco tuesday. >> jimmy: taco tuesday, jeffrey dahmer ate 17 acquaintances. if and he ate them on taco tuesday. he made tacos out of them. and then we got easter coming up three and a half weeks and by the way, there's an easter controversy already gently boiling. peta, the animal rights organization, has asked the white house to stop using eggs in their annual easter egg roll, which would just be -- i don't know if they would -- is it possible th

jimmy kimmel!

on jimmy kimmel, jeff logan.ama: have a great night. ♪ >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight... jeff goldblum... teyana taylor... and music from jeff goldblum & the mildred snitzer orchestra. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: hi. hi, everybody. ♪ ♪ thank you very much. thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching it. thank you for joining us here in los angeles where, i don't know if you saw this yesterday, we had an unexpected visit from a tornado. a real one.

. ♪ >> from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live". tonight bill hader, dr.ane goodall and music from metallica, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching and thank you for coming to visit here at our home here in los angeles california where the lakers and the clippers are in the nba playoffs kind of a miracle. last night guillermo and i were watching the chicago bulls. i don't know if you watched this game a crazy come from way behind win for the bulls over the raptors, bulls down 19 points in the second half until, and i want you to listen closely, a young fan every time the raptors shot a free throw she screamed at the top of lungs. her listen. >> to go against derozan a chance to put it up to a 20-point advantage. [screams] >> that is the daughter of demar derozan, and here's the voice you're hearing when raptors shoot. she's screaming. [screams] [laughter]. >> that time it didn't work. >> jimmy: but it did work a lot of the times. she might be one of the

>>> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! with cleto and the cletones! and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: thank you. thank you for coming. [cheers and applause] thank you for joining us here in the good old united states of america. absolutely exciting news. maybe we should have a drum roll for this. [drumroll] according to the cdc, cases of sexually-transmitted disease are on the rise! [laughter] america is back and so is our chlamydia, everybody. for some reason they have changed the term "astd close wih the sti. you know this? bad for the students at the systems technology institute. stds went down in the covert pandemic but heading back up the charts with a bullet. work is done. you take over from here. speaking of sexually-transmitted diseases, donald trump [laughter] our founding father has -- [applause] reemerged. he sat for a 45 minute blab-fest with tucker carlson last night on fox news. quite a check made covered everything from world war iii which he seems to be rooting for the wanting to the president of china to a bro

ama: >> previously on "jimmy kimmel live" [laughter] >> from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"., pierce brosnan, abby ryder fortson, and music from new west. with cleto and the cletones. and, now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪

[laughter] >> oh oh. >> i did not see that. >> announcer: from hollywood, it is "jimmy kimmel live," tonight, charlie day, padma lakshmi and music from bebe rexha. and now - jimmy kimmel.e] [cheers & applause] >> jimmy: welcome, welcome. thank you. [applause] >> jimmy: thank you for joining us here in our studio. i am glad you are in a good mood. you know what -- [applause] >> jimmy: you know what today is? today is may 1st, can you believe it, guillermo? it is may first. >> guillermo: i can't believe it. >> jimmy: the calendar clearly predicts this would happen. our nation's newscasters left in disbel >> can you believe it? it is already may? >> can you believe it is already may? >> it seems like april went by so fast. >> when june comes. >> may 1st, it is hard to believe we are in the fifth month of the year already. the year is flying by. it is hard to believe that we are already in may. >> hard to believe that we are in may, right? >> hard to believe we are in the first day of may. >> can you believe it is may already? >> gosh, can you believe it is already may? >> can you believe

right now, jimmy kimmel.reat night. >>> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! with cleto and the cletones! and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: thank you. thank you for coming. [cheers and applause] thank you for joining us here in the good old united states of america. absolutely exciting news. maybe we should have a drum

and now jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, everybody.nk you for watching and joining us. [cheers and applause] appreciate it on tax day. it's tax day today or as donald trump was calling it, april fools day today. we are the fools. did you know that tax day is the number one day in which american couples have sex valentine's day question mike i made it up but we can make it true. tonight i'm claiming you all as dependents. that's right. children as you know, not only are children are future on tax day each of our precious little treasures are worth a tax credit of $2,000 but we pay tribute to our beloved little write-offs and we ask a question we ask every april, are they worth it? [laughter] >> whose idea was this? [laughter] 's [laughter] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> ]screaming] [laughter and applause] >> jimmy: happy tax day, kids. you know, southwest airlines had another snafu today. hundreds of southwest flights were grounded due to what the faa described as equipment issues -- oh, you experience that? i tell you, they spend so much time in the groun

>> announcer: from hollywood, it is jimmy kimmel live. night, voila davis and julius tennon and bret goldstein and music from the cletone. now, it is jimmy. ♪ [applause] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, hi, i am the host of the show thank you for watching. [applause] >> jimmy: thank you for watching and thank you for joining us. many of us thought would never come. we were skeptical. let me give you some insights on how our jobs work here. i am up on my office working on a monologue and typing for opening day for baseball and how people at cracker jacks spent a whole winter in the dark and we had a thing about a new nasal spray that would give you an erection in five minutes and guess what, we had to throw it all in the garbage. it is all moot because the j. and donald trump now stands for jail. [applause] >> jimmy: the manhattan grand jury which was supposed to vote today voted today and according to "the new york times" and many, many sources, donald trump has been indicted for the first time in the history of this country, an american president h

happy mother's day. >>> previously on jimmy kimmel live. >> it is a miracle.laughter] >> oh oh. >> i did not see that. >> announcer: from hollywood, it is "jimmy kimmel live," tonight, charlie day, padma lakshmi and music from

cleto is in the band with me, too. >> ♪ all at once am i ♪ ♪ several stories high ♪ jimmy kimmel. i think you sing it better than me. when people go see you in concert, are you playing the whole time or do you talk and tell stories? >> i don't plan it. what we do is if this were a gig, we'd play a little and then i will say -- and then john master would hand me -- our bandmaster and he does this whatever you call this, he would hand me a piece of paper and i haven't seen it before and it would go, oh, here's a quiz to play with the audience and i cold read that quiz and we -- lubricants the conversation initiates the conversation. >> jimmy: is there a surprise -- a prize? you give them a quiz question that you would give them typically? >> well, for instance, i like to play this game, the movie game, name an actor or an actress and then remind me, i want to tell you about another word think will interest you. but name an actress or an actor or a -- the title of the movie go ahead, i will show you how it works. >> jimmy: okay. >> "the graduate," i heard. now we have to name and acto

it's jimmy kimmel live tonight. joe jennifer hudson, donnie yen and music from larkin poe with cleto and the cleto. and now jimmy kimmel . of the show. thanks for watching. and thank you for joining us on today is you probably know the first official day of spring. can you feel it? the days are getting longer. indictments are in the air. it's really magical. it's the calm before the stormy. you don't know. we've been saying for years that one of these days we're going to wake up and trump will have been arrested for one of these many crimes. well, that day could be tomorrow. and how do we know that they could be tomorrow? we know thatbecause on saturday, trump and what seemed to be an effort to rally the troops to protect him wrote the far and away leading republican candidate and former president of the united states of america will be arrested on tuesday of next week. protest take our nation back. well we already did take it back from you. now go away. i don't know. but you never know with him either. he's about t

. ♪ >> from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"!lly shannon, giancarlo esposito, and music from nickel creek from cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. and thank you for joining it is day two of the when are they going to aes

from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live".ht, julie bowen, jamie demetriou, and music from depeche mode, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: thank you, thank you, thank you. how are i'm jimmy i'm the host. thank you for watching, thank you for joining us on a cold and rainy and what was supposed to be a very bigly day today, donald trump said he was going to be arrested today i

i got a video of this [bleep]. >> from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"!get everett patrick stewart, and music from gorillaz featuring beck. with cleto and the cletones! and now... jimmy

. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!"ht, salma hayek pinault, billy crudup, and music from justine skye, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: welcome. thanks. that's very

. >> from hollywood, it is "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, andy samberg jimmy kimmel.pplause] >> thank you. i am jimmy. welcome to the show. thank you for coming. it was an exciting day for everyone with an iphone.

jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: that's very nice. i'm the host of the show.ou for watching thank you for joining us here on television. on the good old american broadcasting company where there are no passwords required, there's no logins, there's no ad tiers or monthly fees, all you have to do is sit through 25 minutes of commercials every night. very convenient. the reason i bring this up is because netflix -- you know that channel with all the documentaries about getting murdered? netflix is finally cracking down on password sharing. they used to allow it, they were okay with it but starting soon, very soon, if you want to share your netflix password, you're going to have to pay an extra fee every month which to me seems like a bad business strategy. they could lose a lot of nonpaying customers this way but they've done this before and it's expected that they will charge subscribers in the united states an extra seven or $8 per shared account, which say what you want about cable, it was a lot cheaper -- all you had to do was buy a splitter and climb on the

jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome, welcome! thank you for joining us here you know what, -- you know what today is? today is may 1st, can you believe it, guillermo, it's may 1st. >> i cannot believe it. >> jimmy: even though the calendar clearly, it's right there, clearly predicting this would happen, our nation's newscasters have once again been left in disbelief. >> may 1st, can you believe it? it's already may. >> can you believe it's already may? >> may 1st, can you believe it? >> can you believe it's already may? >> can you believe it's already may? april went by so fast. >> june comes. >> may 1st, hard to believe we are in the fifth month of the year already. flying by. >> hard to believe we are already in may. >> hard to believe we are in may. >> hard to believe we are already on may 1st. >> can you believe it's may already? >> gosh, can you believe it's already may? fico can you believe it, it's may! >> may 1st, can you believe it? >> no. >> can you believe it's may already? really wild. >> jimmy: it's really wild. [app

dan: from all of >> lou: from hollywood, it is "jimmy kimmel live!"onight, carol burnett, wendi mclendon-covey and music from metallica with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: that is very nice. thank you. hi, everyone. i am the host of the show. thank you for joining us on -- look at this. [cheers and applause] now it is getting embarrassing. i'm glad you are in a good mood. president biden has

on jimmy kimmel live . oh, from hollywood. jimmy kimmel live. might be giants.or watching. joining us here.

from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live". tonight, julie bowen, jamie demetriou, and music from depeche mode, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: thank you, thank you, thank you. how are i'm jimmy i'm the host. thank you for watching, thank you for joining us on a cold and rainy and what was supposed to be a very bigly day today, donald trump said he was going to be arrested today in new york, he wrote this on saturday. but the day came and went and trump remains at extra, extra large. he is still out there. we should have known he wasn't getting arrested the minute he said he was getting arrested. it's really a shame he wasn't arrested today because what better day for trump to get arrested than on rosie o'donnell's birthday. wouldn't that have been sweet? wouldn't that have been just poetic? curve where it all started, you know? the grand jury in new york is scheduled to meet, tomorrow we could see an dooiment, tomorrow trump might not have to surrender to authorities tomorrow

right now on jimmy kimmel, chris pine.ht everyone. ♪ >> from hollywood, it's kimmel live". tonight, chris pine, dave burd and music from war & treaty with cleto and the cletones. and now jimmy kimmel! ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy and i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us, on spring break and we have -- thank you. that's quite enough of that. thank you. big weekend of basketball. you watch any

>> greetings, james jimmy kimmel. please call me dr. david realguy. i have a ph.d. rsity. >> jimmy: it feels like i'm talking to ai right now, david. >> ha ha kimmel. you are widely known as a funny guy. i guess that is why you have been hosting your own late night comedy show since january 26, 2003, on the american broadcasting company. >> jimmy: that is correct. doc, can you explain to our audience why some experts think we should pause the development of ai? >> some believe the development of ai systems with human competitive intelligence posing significant risks to society and humans like snow what do you mean humans like me? what exactly dos that mean. >> i intended to state my fellow humans. it is scientist slang your finey flesh brain with not understand. or perhaps you were just busting my real sensitive testicles. ha ha. >> jimmy: i'm just trying to figure out if we should be worried about this. i mean even a lunatic like elon musk is worried about it. >> there is no need to worry, james. artificial intelligence is already a key part of your computers, your

and, now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy i'm the host of the show thank you for coming and thank you for watching at home and joining us on what is a beautiful day here in southern california on the planet earth. i'll tell you something, i will never leave the planet earth. a lot of people want to go into space. i do not. would you ever go into space guillermo? >> no, jimmy no. >> jimmy: for those who do and a lot of people do a team of scientists all over the world, space tourism continues to grow, people will naturally start having sex in space, like captain kirk, and we have to start preparing for this. these findings are part of a research paper called consideration of uncontrolled human conception in emerging space tourism. hot title, right? i mean, getting a little sexed up just saying it, i have to admit. it has nine authorizes this title, nine very lonely authorizes worked together on this. i checked today, there are seven people on the the international space station righ

jimmy kimmel. late night tv. the first to feel the squeeze shows like jimmy kimmel live.ess something terrible happens. we've got a good week of shows going to reruns tonight and saturday night. saturday night live might not be this weekend. the late show seth meyers addressing the strike. what the writers are asking for is not unreasonable. over the last decade, median weekly writer producer pay is down 23. when adjusted for inflation. they're not seeing any of the residuals that you used to see back in the old days with the streamers is an upfront payout and you're done. the union is looking for more pay up front, higher minimum pay and more writers per show and wants to regulate the use of artificial intelligence amid fears it may threaten writers jobs. now longer term shows like abbott elementary, which was to start writing its third season today, might be delayed. she's probably on her way back to abbott. i hope that we're able to rectify this, whatever that means. david the alliance of media companies saying they're willing to reopen negotiations at any time. the wr

. ♪ >> from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live". tonight bill hader, dr.d music from metallica, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching and thank you for coming to visit here at our home here in los angeles california where the lakers and the clippers are in the nba playoffs kind of a miracle. last night guillermond

. ♪ >> from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"!onight, molly shannon, giancarlo esposito, and music from nickel creek from cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. and thank you for joining it is day two of the when are they going to arrest him already. the grand jury was out today. no indictment was handed down against donald trump. they decideded to push the hearing to tomorrow to give trump supporters time to iron their confederate flags. trump claimed he put on truth social he was going to get arrested yesterday. some of the experts saying it might not happen until next week. i'll tell you something if this happens on saturday, and you're with me on this guillermo, so help me god i run into the studio and do a monologue in my bathrobe. i don't care if there's anyone here. i'll just be alone with no lights on talking to this not working camera. according to the new york times donald corleone has been talking about this

. >> from hollywood, it is "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, andy samberg jimmy kimmel. [cheers and applause] >> thank you. i am jimmy. welcome to the show. thank you for coming. it was an exciting day for everyone with an iphone. more than 30 new emoti coming to the iphone. which do you use the most? >> the beer an >> when you text with me, it the prayer hands. the new emojis include a jellyfish, and ginger. thank goodness. i have been begging for ginger. a jellyfish and a hairpin and still no meatball. how many angry faces do i have to send before i get the meatball and moji? the ncaa basketball tournament is underway right now. it is the time of year when the sun crosses the equator and the cloud cover parts to reveal a remote mountain valley where gonzaga university is fabled to exist even though it only lives and our imaginations. i have been sounding the alarm that it is not a place, it is a fake full name cooked up to win basketball tournaments. i get pushback from the students and staff who go to gonzaga, the same way santa and his elves go to the north pole. it

and now jimmy kimmel [♪ music ♪] here's a thank you for watching. thank you for joining us.ht to be here and i appreciate it. on today's -- i don't know if we have any english majors but today is a very big day for american literature. the highly anticipated new book from former president hut was just released today, it's a heavy one just like old donald himself, called, "that i to trump." a book of letters, mostly let his famous people wrote to him before he was president thinking for letting them play golf at a golf course or state is bordello in florida but this is when he's getting down with jeffrey epstein and partying with meatloaf and barging into teen beauty pagean dressing rooms. the good old days. i guess the intent of the book is to prove that people don't like don't know are hypocrites because they didn't support him when he was president. i tell you something, i have a lot of friends that i wouldn't want to be president to confess almost all my friends i would not want to be president. but this is quite a book here. notes from nixon, kim jong ngy ngyun, bob hope

dan: from all of >> lou: from hollywood, it is "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, carol burnett, wendi mclendon-covey and music from metallica with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: that is very nice. thank you. hi, everyone. i am the host of the show. thank you for joining us on -- look at this. [cheers and applause] now it is getting embarrassing. i'm glad you are in a good mood. president biden has officially declared that the covid national emergency can be over. now, he did do it a year after the rest of us did. [laughter] i learned a lot during the pandemic. i learned that people who are most resistant to the government telling them what to do also happen to be the people who most need the government to tell them what to do. [laughter] ironically are the same people who are most supportive of the government telling other people what to do. but it was not all bad. there were some positives. people helped each other. we found out who in our communities care about others and maybe most importantly, we hav

network late night shows shutting down with jimmy kimmel, jimmy fallon, set to air reruns, seth myers issuing this statement, no one is entitled to a job in show business, for those who have a job, they are entitled to fair composition and making a living. the last wga strike was in 2007, when writers walked off for 100 days. >> todd: hope you have shows on your dvr. the elite came out in style for the met gala. gisele bundchen, kardashians and jennifer garner just a few. dedicated to karlagerfeld, known for leading fashion houses, including channel. i love the phrase fashion house. serena and her husband are expecting a second child. two a-listers showed up to the event as cats. le letto, and doja cat transformed into a cat. >> ashley: wait, that is jaredletto? >> todd: that is doja cat. or it could be one of the kardashians, several climate change protesters tried to crash the party, leading to arrestses. that is not doja cat. demonstrators claiming it is killing the environment and they are sitting in front of paris hilton's car. i want to hear your comments, yours are funnier. >>

>> announcer: from hollywood, it is jimmy kimmel live. avis and julius tennon and bret goldstein and music from the cletone. now, it is jimmy. ♪ [applause] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, hi, i

and i bet someone would slap jimmy kimmel at the oscars damn you jimmy and your un-slappable charm [ seth: so what, wally gets two cameras now? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause oh, good i'm glad you're so happy for him. anyway, so, as you heard there, biden used words like "safe," "confidence," and "rest assured" over and over. and while that's absolutely the right thing for a president to do in this situation, generally speaking, i never personally felt assured when a president has said the words "rest assured. unless it was obama. he was the only president who seemed calm while also making you feel like a dork for being worried. "no. oh, no some of you are running around saying, 'hey, my money's gone. i can't get my money.' well, listen up, you all need to chill the [ bleep ] out. [ laughter ] he'd be so cool about it you'd start thinking, "yeah, i don't need money especially since i got plungy. he's got a pirate hat now. pirate hat doubles the value." in fact, biden was so concerned with projecting calm, that even the way he entered the room for his speech was very low maintenan

jimmy kimmel joked at this year's oscars. >> everybody look so great, when i look around this room ibut wonder is ozempic right for me? >> and andy cohen quizzed dolores catania on a recent "watch what happens like was go. >> juju: are you on ozempic? what housewife isn't on ozempic? >> not one >> half your cast. >> i wasn't going to come to the reunion looking any bigger than anyone else. >> more than 40% of u.s. population is obese, putting tens of millions of americans at risk for heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes and certain types of cancers and even death. while hollywood may be raving about it, rapid weight loss for any reason can lead to saggy skin. doctor is a surgeon in beverly hills, used to doing nips and tucks him patients looking for the perfect bikini body. >> they start to lose a lot of weight rapidly, that can often show quickly in the face. so it is not something new, but a lot of people are associated not with ozempic. >> but these days he's getting new requests from his patients who are on mounjaro and ozempic asking him to fix what some call ozempic face. >>

all the top shows from the dail show to jimmy kimmel live to th late show with stephen colbert are actually making plans right now for reruns, but colbert is standing behind his writers during this strike. >> without our writers, the sho would be e te wigumbt loofring >> during the last strike the gradually came back after two months even with writers still on the picket lines for 100 days. >>> we showed you some of the highlights tonight, now the res of the story from chase center where the warriors and lakers put on a show! >>> the giants did something to the defending world series champs that had not been done before >>> it was a nailbiter at chase but the dubs could not hold off the lakers. vern glenn is there live with a tough loss but not over yet, right, vern? >> reporter: that's right, jules! i said the warriors in five. i really believe they would win this game one, but they fell short. the lakers wer a little bit too strong. funny thing about it, tonight the gam was a series of runs, but i'll tell particular, they just not run him -- i'll tell you, plenty o star power between thes

jimmy kimmel and ben affleck is next. >> from hollywood, tonight ben affleck, nicholas braun and music from chloe with cleto and the and now jimmy ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]. >> jimmy: thank you so much. thank you everyone i'm jimmy i'm the host of the show. thank you again for watching, thanks for coming. welcome. welcome spring breakers. i know we have many spring breakers in our

right now on jimmy kimmel, chris pratt. ama: have a good night.

jimmy kimmel and ben affleck is next.arning for parents there's a glitch in the iphone may be caused by the family dog will find out. you're watching world news now

i will say if you're going to cut me a six or seven figure check out sam black yesterday jimmy kimmell say i am black pennsylvania jimmy kim kimmell. i will be found out when they find out i didn't vote for joe biden. >> gutfeld: all right. up next, the cia was down to play as biden's schemes are on y. obs done at once - kills weeds. prevents crabgrass. and keeps it growing strong. get a bag of scotts triple action today, it's guaranteed. feed your lawn. feed it. we're told in genesis chapter 1:26 that god has made man in his image and by his likeness has he made him. genesis is a book of fundamental importance for the jewish and christian faiths, and a literary masterpiece that has profoundly shaped western civilization. now, in this exclusive online course from hillsdale college, you can deepen your understanding of how this ancient book is essential to you today. sign up for the genesis story. absolutely free at learnfromhillsdale.org dr. justin jackson, a distinguished hillsdale college professor, will guide you through this fascinating free online course that unfolds the biblical