please welcome senator leno. [applause] >> thank you for the introduction. i am sure i am not alone when i say that there are many who sleep better at night knowing that you're doing your good work at the va administration. it is a real pleasure to be here for this auspicious occasion, here with major league and leader pelosi -- with mayor lee and a leader pelosi and all of our veterans. as it is said, it takes a village, in the village has come together today to support the work of the veterans administration in this five-year plan to end veterans joblessness. leader pelosi, you're certainly aren't point when you are advocating for the public option in our health care reform last year. weren't need look no further than the veterans administration to see a public option in healthcare provision so successfully operating, with lower cost, better health care outcomes, and specifically with a much lower administrative cost than we see are in the private health insurance world. so thank you for that voice. i know that we will be returning to it at some point or a

jay leno mocked geraldo leno doctored it and made it look like he was being attacked by what? a puppy, kids with a distribute gun, bows and arrows, star wars characters. who was geraldo attacked by on the leno program. cards up, please. the answer is... roll the tape. >> they are firing. they are firing at me. >> they are firing. >> looks like mine. >> she was right. >> dancing with stars this week christie alley's dancing partner dropped her during their performance. ♪ >> the dancer who dropped ms. alley later said he did that because of what? a a muscle spasm in his leg, b her costume was slippery, c his shoe slipped on the floor, e she was too heavy. what did the guy say caused that malfunction? the answer is... >> a a muscle spasm. >> the old muscle spasm in his leg. >> did you see the guy's shirt? it was wide open. a breeze came and blew him. >> like one of those kite things. >> poor kirstie. >> she is doing a great job. you give her credit. >> i have no idea. i have never watched the program and never will. thanks for that report. >> here is the final question. it's a ti

and now, jay leno! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television captions by vitac www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: thank you, gentlemen. welcome to "the tonight show." nice to have you all here! everybody in a festive mood? [ cheers and applause ] i love this. i know it's the holidays and all, but listen to this, the fda is now warning people not to eat raw cookie dough this holiday season. [ audience oohs ] is that how fat we're getting in this country? our ovens are too slow now? [ laughter ] who has time to preheat an oven? just roll up the dough -- [ laughter ] just wait for the cookie! [ light laughter ] and i read today, more and more candy manufacturers this year are making chocolates with beer. one company is making beer -- beer and pretzel truffles. [ cheers and applause ] beer -- beer mixed with chocolate and pretzels. didn't that used to be called vomit? [ laughter ] didn't that used to be called vomit? beer mixed -- [ applause ] oh. and once again, mat

and now, jay leno!lcome to "the tonight show." nice to have you all here! oh -- are you all ready for halloween? >> rickey: yep. >> jay: you know, they had a a survey of the scariest halloween movies in the paper. number one scariest movie, "the exorcist." "exorcist," was the scariest movie for women. scariest movie for men -- "eat, pray, love." that was the scariest movie. i ran out of that theater screaming. [ applause ] actually, i'm looking forward to halloween. finally get to see people wearing an nba uniforms. that's the only time you'll see it. [ laughter ] well, here's a last-minute costume idea for the ladies. if you're on a budget, grab a a bottle of vodka, strip naked and go as lindsay lohan. that's a good way. [ cheers and applause ] or -- or -- if you're a guy, get some handcuffs, go as her dad, okay? either way, either way very cheap. well, lindsay lohan's father michael lohan was arrested for the second -- second time this week. in fact, one more arrest, he will break his daughter's recor

he's a represent of senator mark leno's office. b.j.ssion is here. stewart. from the public library. and pete fitzsimmons and tannish col -- hollins and camille dawkins. camille is over here. without camille and tannish rkt , none of this happens. so let's give them a round of applause for their wonderful effort. the society's primary mission is to enlighten, to inform, to inspire and to empower. we achieve that mission in a variety of ways. almost always in partnership with others. through our current partnership that trevor spoke to with the finance -- kinsey foundation shall the san francisco public library, and the california council of the humanities, we are now hosting an incredible exhibition of art and artifacts from the kinsey collection, the kron -- that chronicles the story of people of frick desnent america. if you haven't done so you owe it to yourself and particularly to your children to visit and see this important exhibit which is at our library in the frake american -- african-american art and culture complex at 762 bol

steve smith, senator leno, mayor lee, thank you all for coming today. madam leader, thank you for your an unwavering support to our veterans. it is an honor and pleasure to have you here today. [applause] i am so proud of our mission and to be here today as we bring attention to the effort to end homelessness. she has covered the important role our community plays in the effort. as a career va employee, i have had the privilege of serving america's veterans. it is a particular honor to serve in the mission to eliminate homelessness. sadly, veterans lead the nation in homelessness, depression, substance abuse, and suicide. these are daunting facts. something must be done about it. with the cooperation and partnership of those of you here today, we will work together to decisively end homelessness. we've heard the list of the formal forces that have gathered. together, i think we can do it. is our honor, duty, and mission to help those in need. the va has set a goal of ending homelessness among veterans by 2015. some may find this a difficult if not impos

look at leno. he asked a main stream stupid question.out the paulites, it is true they are a committed, dedicated group. >> bob: they have been after my pal, eric, who is jumping on ron paul. they will get after you. i don'tthe they sleep. >> kimberly: they work in shifts. >> bob: they ares a close to a colt as anything i've seen. >> kimberly: they are crippling the e-mail box right now. >> bob: they don't scare me. but lever rick and dana alone. >> kimberly: so there. we have a media in the audience. combat against any kind of problem with the e-mail. >> bob: are we going to be digital? >> kimberly: we are digital. talk about this. you want to talk about the polls? >> bob: i do. >> kimberly: put you in happy mood before we say goodbye. marist poll for the third straight year americans say "whatever" is the most annoying word in casual conversation, as opposed to formal. >> greg: this is why i don't date anyone under 20. >> kimberly: you're also married. >> greg: that, too. the song "valley girl" 25 years old was an indictment of this la

and now, jay leno! vitac www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: thank you very much! welcome to "the tonight show." nice to have you all here! well, folks -- [ cheers and applause ] there is -- there is -- there is big news today on health care reform. dr. murray is going to jail! [ cheers and applause ] yeah, there you go. yeah. yeah, conrad murray found guilty of giving michael jackson an overdose of a prescription sleeping aid. pretty reckless on the part of the doctor. they said the sedative he prescribed was five times more powerful than a joe biden speech. [ laughter ] can you believe that? >> rickey: that's powerful. [ applause ] >> jay: well, anyway, he -- he faces up to four years in prison. four years. this of course causes problems for me. now, i got to get a new doctor. [ laughter ] you know. what am i going to do now? [ applause ] boy -- that's why you -- only the celebrity gets off. not the people who work for the celebrity. remember that! [ light laughter ] this is l.a. although

one of the guys who wants to be president of the united states, texas governor rick perry was on lenoemember he did the top ten after he couldn't remember the third government agency during the debate? for letterman. this time after he said the voting age was 21, he goes on jay leno for a little self-deprecation. >> what happened with the brain freeze that night with the -- you had the three things to remember. >> well you know, one, two and -- ah, ah. yeah. [ laughter ] >> it happens, man, let me tell you. >> what happened in new hampshire here? it's the most recent one. take a look here. >> those of you that are, will be 21 by november the 12th, i ask for your support and your vote. those of you who won't be, just work hard. >> you and i, we grew up in that 21 voting age. >> right, you were thinking. >> i was thinking drinking age, maybe. >> that makes sense. >> but how about -- >> you got to have an excuse, right? that's my mine and i'm sticking to it. >> well where did the 12 come from? >> the 12? >> november 12th. voting on november 12th. >> it's not november 12th? that would be

the texas governor appeared on jay leno last night and poked fun at his latest blunder. perry forgot not only the 2012 election date but also the voting age as well. leno thanked him for being a good sport despite all the ribbing. >>> police are offering a reward for information that helps them track down a robber who held up a postal worker and then locked him in the back of his own truck. the they say the gunman robbed the worker at the "t" street postal station on 112th street northwest last night. investigators say the robber approached the postal worker as he was closing up and putting mail in the day's cash receipts into a truck parked out front. police say there have been a rash of robberies of post office employees in the d.c. area in recent months. >> over the past year and three months, we've had several different types of postal robberies. we've had this type, where they're actually attacking our postal employees in the evening hours. we've had our postal employees attacked in the early morning hours prior to it opening, and then also while it's open, over the

here's what happens with jay leno. he has been on the show many times. he goes on in his scene jeans and shirt and says this is what we want to do. >> i am sure they feed him a few lines. you got the president on you want him to look good. i wish i could be as calm as barack obama on television. >> they smooth. you are calm. i am calm. >> i sometimes get a little ants see. he is so smooth got out 10 seconds nothing secret in hollywood after it occurred. mccartney wasn't there. these were serious people. oprah wasn't there. it was behind the scenes people and they were formulating a strategy. i don't see anything wrong with that if you have allies in powerful positions you get to them, right. >>? you have an oscar on your shelf the next is close proximity to the ultimate power which is the president of the united states at any given moments. when you look at the picture they always look like they are hon me noon -- mooning in the niagara falls. i guess fete the photo taken with some of those guys. he was like a monk that's the way hollywood has always bee

so i took the initiative to contact senator leno as well as david chiu's office and i've gotten responses that we will be looking into these party buses and see what we can do about their reign of terror. so -- i think that's it. >> ok. well, thank you for delving into all these issues. i know we hear repeatedly that for years knew the party buses have been a major problem. so i appreciate your efforts to see if we can curtail that. ok. item number seven, new business requests for future agenda items. we have any? >> yes. >> ok. >> one i was wondering if the western task force was scheduled to come in december to speak. and the second one was that i think the broadway ad hoc would like to present at the first meeting in january. >> i have no problem with that. ok. ms. cain if you'd schedule that. and anybody else? before we recess this meeting, i'd like to inform the public that the december 27th meet willing be canceled. that concludes the entertainment commission's november 22nd meeting and thank you for coming. and have a great thanksgiving. >> this is holly lee knox. there are some pr

and conan, craig ferguson, and jay leno. who am i leaving out?: carson daly. >> dave: oh, that's okay. ( laughter ) ( applause ) so we are reaching out to the talk show community. and we've heard back from nobody. so that still leaves conan, craig ferguson, and jay leno t to-- so i'm sending out another e-mail tonight. i've kind of got the hang of it, and this is the one we're sending tonight. first what i learned, you have to start with the hash tag, so i put these two things up there, and then i add the hash tag. >> paul: i see that. >> dave: can you see it right there? and here i say, "hi, boys." so i'm telling them about the show tonight. ( laughter ) >> paul: okay. >> dave: barney frank plus-- big laws. tune in tonight. so we'll see-- here you go. ( applause ) are you ready, anton? there it goes. look out. there it goes. ( bell ringing ) this is discouraging. we've been tweeting now actively for two weeks. look, we only have 17 people following us. ( laughter ) but you have to start somewhere. >> paul: it's a start. >> dave: hey, i have to s

and now, jay leno!he tonight show." nice to have you all here. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much! happy holidays, everybody! oh, hey, what do you think of this? the national transportation safety board this week called for an all-out ban on cell phone use while driving. headsets, bluetooth, everything would be banned. everything. i read it on my iphone as i was coming into work this morning -- stunned by this. [ light laughter ] >> rickey: that's why. >> jay: hey, here's one of those dicey civil rights area stuff. the government apparently used a predator drone to arrest a a north dakota farmer who they caught stealing cows. the guy was stealing cows, and they have those planes that fly over the border, and the spy plane caught the guy in action stealing the cows. [ light laughter ] yeah. a lot of farmers are really worried that they're being spied on. especially sheep farmers. [ laughter ] yeah, they're really, really worried. hey, wait a minute. [ applause ] folks, it's time once again for w

he told talk show host jay leno what he thought about a couple of his rivals. >> michele bachmann?he doesn't like muslims. she hates muslims. she wants to go get them. >> rick santorum, i never see him talk about anything. seems like to him gay people, oh, my god, that's the end of the world. he doesn't seem to talk about anything else. does he -- >> gay people and muslims. >> all right. michele bachmann did respond to ron paul's conclusion calling it outrageous and saying today, quote, of course i don't hate muslims. bachmann is on a bus tour of all 99 iowa counties. bachmann's goal is to hit each county by december 28th, less than a week before the iowa caucuses. bachman has some company today in algona, iowa. rick perry is on a bus tour there as well. he's also trying to redeem his former number one status. he plans to see 44 iowa cities in 14 days. just in case you're wondering, the temperature in algona this afternoon is a freezing 32 degrees. >>> on to south carolina. mitt romney is holding a town hall meeting there. his myrtle beach rally comes one day after the south caroli

. >> last night you may have seen ron paul on the tonight show with jay leno right here on wbal tv 11. today he got the support. see why bachman says her former iowa chairman is a big sell out. >> and and at your press conference, gov. o'malley made it clear taxes will be on the agenda in 2012. he also highlighted some of this year's accomplishments including baltimore city's murder rate which could and below the 200 mark for the first time in recent history. >> this morning news conference in annapolis give the governor took a chance to highlight the good, the bat, and the ugly as we ended 2011 and head into 2012. it seems there is no doubt there will be a lot of fighting in the general assembly over new taxes. >> you get what you pay for. there is no way to build $100 million bridge for $10 million. there is no innovation in the arsenal that allows that to happen. >> if he has his way, higher taxes will be a reality in 2012. before talking about the bad and the ugly, the governor highlighted some of the good for the state in 2011 including what he says 26,700 new jobs added highligh

and now, jay leno! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television captions by vitac www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: i gotta go to work. thank you very much! gentlemen! welcome to "the tonight show." now, how many of you are here only 'cause you couldn't find a a parking space at the mall? be honest, i'm just curious. [ laughter ] oh boy -- welcome. well, you know, i love how people always say, and someone said this to me this week, "boy, christmas really just snuck up on me this year." have you heard that? >> rickey: yeah. >> jay: is that possible this day and age? christmas sneaks up on you, huh? [ laughter ] i mean, when do they start playing "jingle bells" in the stores? after labor day? wasn't it about labor day, huh? [ laughter ] i mean, i saw santa on halloween, okay? there's no excuse. oh, boy! [ cheers and applause ] oh, and they say -- here's a strange little fact. they say every year at this time, sales of premium quality toilet paper increases because pe

rick perry went on leno to make fun of his campaign missteps. let me finish with the traveling circus this gop race has become. we start with cain and his big announceme announcement. howard fineman and chris cillizza. herman cain said he was going to make a big announcement. let's listen. >> i'm reassessing because of all the media fire storm stuff. why? because my wife and family comes first. i have to take that into consideration. tomorrow in atlanta, i will be making an announcement. nobody is going to get me to make that prematurely. that's all there is to that. tomorrow, we are opening our headquarters in northwest georgia where we will also clarify, there's that word again, clarify exactly what the next steps are. >> chris cillizza, do you schedule a big announcement and say i'm staying in this race? >> no, not usually. back to earlier this week where his campaign, herman cain's campaign said he was going clarify in dayton, ohio, what reassessing his candidacy meant. i tuned in. i listened to the whole speech. he gave his standard stump s

it began friday when ron paul made a visit to the tonight show with jay leno.nn. she responded yesterday on the trail. >> michele bachmann? >> she doesn't like muslims. she hates muslims. she wants to go get them. >> wow. that's not good. >> last night, ron paul has said that i hate muslims on the jay leno show. he said it more than once. what i want to see in response to that is that i don't hate muslims. i love the american people. >> mitt romney was asked about ron paul's comments during a campaign stop with south carolina governor nikki haley. here's what he said. >> the comments you've described are obviously not appropriate in a setting like this. i don't think they describe the, accurately skree describe the views of michele bachmann or sick rowe rick santorum. >>> hundreds showed up for the event. the elephant character on the right side of your screen included. >> thank you everyone. thank you. santa! i feel so good. >> the christmas spirit is on the campaign trail. michele bachmann getting a special visit from santa. here's where the candidate are tod

perhaps you might recognize them if you watch the show "america's got talent "'also on letterman, lenon. >> and attached a video camera on to the sticks to get a cool view. >> i love that. >> oh, my. >> fred just wants to get, like, ten in a row. >> ten? i just want to get one successful jump. >> oh, everybody can do one. >> not me. never got there. >> can you do one jump. >> well, i'm glad you have hope for me. all right. thanks so much, jacqui. >> okay. >>> pogo stick our way out. >> go right ahead. >> here we go -- you know what? by the way, you'll be back to talk about santa ana winds. >> real tough. on the way. >> cool. that's a little harder to find. but here's what i know -- td ameritrade doesn't manage mutual funds... or underwrite stocks and bonds. or even publish their own research. so, guidance from td ameritrade isn't about their priorities. it's about mine. straightforward guidance. that's what makes td ameritrade different. ♪ [ male announcer ] trade commission-free for 60 days. plus get up to $600 when you open an account. ♪ [ boy ] looks like our work is done here. i'm

and now, jay leno! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television captions by vitac www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: welcome to "the tonight show." thank you. once again -- [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you -- nice to see you gentleman. as you see, we have -- impenetrable security. nobody gets past this area. >> rickey: that's right. [ laughter ] >> jay: well, folks, it's that time of the year when the jolly man with the big belly stops by for his once a year visit. that's right, charles barkley on the show tonight, ladies and gentlemen! [ rim shot ] [ cheers and applause ] charles barkley, here tonight. tonight, of course, the first night of hanukkah. someone just wished me happy hanukkah. [ cheers and applause ] which, as you know, celebrates the miracle when a few drops of oil kept a lamp burning for eight days. doesn't that sound like some kind of product made by the shamwow people? [ laughter ] it's the miracle lamp extender, just $9.95 extends oil f

he stopped by the jay leno show where he took issue with the new team. >> this is depressing.he nba canceled two more weeks worth of games. that means it could be the clippers best season ever. >> awesome. >> this is your game. don't go anywhere. we have will ferrell on the show tonight. he is in a new basketball movie called "semipro." it's about the clippers. >> i like that. >> this is the last one. cut out the drums. it's not that funny. it's not that funny. all right, last one. last one. the nba playoffs start this weekend. the knicks will be playing the celtics, griz lees playing the spurs and the clippers playing angry birds. >> yeah. yeah. [ applause ] >> that works for me. >> that's just not nice. >> you did a good job with sports. don't you like willie's show? >> i like willie's show. i wish willie liked it. i have never seen it. >> now we understand more about him. >> what's coming up at the top of the hour when we -- >> do our show? >> put on our clothes? >> i don't know, i'm comfortable like this. house republicans cave on the payroll tax cut bill. how big of a bre

and now, jay leno! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television captions by vitac www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: hi, folks, how are you? gentleman! welcome, everybody. nice to have you here. welcome to "the tonight show." happy holidays. only three more shopping days till christmas. that's what it is. >> rickey: yeah. >> jay: hard to believe, you know? see, this is the time where you start to make the transition from looking for just the absolutely perfect gift to "everybody likes fruit, right? sure." [ laughter ] who doesn't like fruit? >> rickey: yeah, they'd eat it. >> jay: actually, today is a a very important day in the holiday season. this is the day when men realize nothing they order online will get here by christmas. [ laughter ] last chance. and believe me, believe me, folks. you know, it's not easy sending out holiday cards to show business friends. because you have to wait till the last minute to see who's still married. you know what i'm saying? [ l

you may have seen ron paul on "the tonight show with jay leno" on tv last night. today, he got support from a key campaigner for michelle bachman. you can find the information on our website, wbaltv.com. the number of people seeking jobless benefits has risen for the first time in four weeks. weekly unemployment applications rose 15,000 to a seasonally adjusted 381,000. but there are indications that hiring could pick up. claims applications fell to a low. application's need to fall below 300 senate 5000 to signal sustainable job growth -- below 375,000 to signal sustainable job growth. the governor highlighted some of the year's accomplishments, including baltimore city's murder rate, which could end below the two hundred-mark for the first time in history. >> this morning's news conference in annapolis gave the governor a chance to highlight the good, the bad, and the ugly. it seems that there is no doubt there will be a lot of fighting in the general assembly over new taxes. >> you get what you pay for. there is no way to build a $100 million bridge for $10 mil

you've got jay leno there. >> oh. it's ok. craig: what did he do? >> he's got his uncle louie's chicken wings. >> -- craig: oh, yeah, john aniston, cinema toast. >> oprah. craig: no way, oprah? beyonce's in there. and oprah's recipes is corn fritters. geoff, i think that's one for you. jennifer aniston. >> jennifer aniston. ellen. craig: is there another ellen? it's like cher. if you say the name, it's like that's enough. >> like julia, ellen, jennifer, angelina, craig. craig: no, not craig. this is really delicious. you want do get them on the brussel sprouts. >> that's actually really -- craig: you think it's not going to work and then -- that really doesn't work at all. that's really awful. but other than that, it's delicious. craig: the beautiful cat cora. we've got go. good night.,,,, state farm. this is jessica. hey, jessica, jerry neumann with a policy question. jerry, how are you doing? fine, i just got a little fender bender. oh, jerry, i'm so sorry. i would love to help but remember, you dropped us last month. yeah, you know it's funny. it

the only thing that, i was trying to listen to jay leno at the volume was not loud enough. [laughter] they could have been good jokes, i will never know. i think it is a fundamental tax the experience that should be virtually the same for everybody. you expect certain things are going to happen. the way you're not really surprised. that is the overall philosophical point on this. i would like to hear from members of the board. >> i feel obliged to say this, we get a lot of comments on taxicab issues and help our discussion here today and engaging some of the speakers have shown you how much we care. if you choose to make ad hominem attacks on our staff and in particular one person that is working very hard to bring harmony to this industry, it makes us, or at least to me, not really values the rest of what you say. if you have an argument on the merits, make it on the merits. with that, i want to say thanks to our consultant and to the folks from square that have educated me on things that i did not understand today. finally, i am not sure we need more studies. my view is t

"the tonight show" is next with jay leno. we will see you back here tomorrow morning. [captioning made possible by constellation energy group] captioned by the national captioning institute --www.ncicap.org-- >> announcer: it's "the tonight show

jay leno@hn next. see you tomorrow. [ mom ] hey guys.asy. [ younger brother ] oh, do you want it? yeah. ok, we'll split it. [ female announcer ] made fresh, so light... ...buttery and flaky... this is half. that is not half. guys i have more. [ female announcer ] do you have enough crescents? >> announcer: it's "the tonight show