steve: advice. [scattered applause] >> whoo! steve: pass or play? >> we're gonna play, steve. steve: they're gonna play. tosha, how you doing? >> i'm doing great, steve. how are you? steve: good, good, good. name something an old stripper might give to a young stripper. >> well, i think she would give her some of her old stripper shoes. steve: some of her old--old shoes. [jacksons cheer] hey, lisa, how you doing? >> i'm great, steve. steve: good. what do you do? >> i'm a nurse. i've been a nurse for 23 years. steve: that's good. you must be a kind person. most nurses are really nice. >> very. steve: ok, let's go. name something an old stripper might give to a young stripper. >> their moves. steve: give 'em some moves. [audience groans] darryl, how you doing? >> fine. how about yourself, steve? steve: yeah, look pretty good, boy. i see you. >> oh, yeah. steve: they made that in your size, huh? >> oh, yeah. [laughter] steve: took you a while to find that, didn't you? >> little bit. steve: "ok, if i find it, i'm getting one." >> no, this is the one and only now. steve: no, we'll

steve: hey, marcia. >> hi, steve. steve: how are you doing, darling? >> i'm good. i'm good. steve: you ready today? >> i'm ready today. steve: let's go. name something you might do at a party that will guarantee you won't be invited back. >> throw up everywhere. >> yes. good answer. steve: if you throw up. [applause] larry. how are you, man? you're a good player, man. >> thank you. steve: you're a good player. >> thank you. steve: here we go, man. name something you might do at a party that will guarantee you won't be invited back. >> break something. steve: if you break something. [cheering] brandon. >> what's up, brother? steve: how are you doing today, sir? >> doing all right. steve: good. name something you might do at a party that will guarantee you won't be invited back. >> steal something. >> good answer. steve: steal something. [buzzer] that was a good answer. shay. >> yes!! steve: boy, we finally did it. >> that's right!! steve: yes. you married, shay? >> i am. he's right there. steve: where? where is he? where is your husband? >> big blue. steve: big blue. yes, sir

. >> steve: dr.ollars mansions in colorado and forcing the evacuation of a prison. >> get out! go! >> gretchen: four major fires burning at this hour. this fire just outside of colorado springs, destroying 8,000 acres. over 6,000 people forced from their homes. 60 homes, some worth millions of dollars, reduced now to ash. >> they wouldn't let us in. finally i persuaded them to let me go and get our dogs and couple of vehicles. just pray that everything turns out all right for people. >> gretchen: nearby royal gorge, a prison evacuated. imagine trying to handle this, over 900 inmates had to be moved to another facility. >>> bomb squad investigating threats now and suspicious packages all across the country. at portland international airport. luckily the backpack was deemed harmless and no flights delayed. yesterday richmond international airport was evacuated for a bomb threat. several buildings near the capitol in atlanta, princeton university, university of new hampshire and several near the capitol

>> steve: there we go. >> brian: steve, wait a second. >> steve: that was easy, kind of. harvard part on the front. by the way, i did go to harvard book store. >> brian: that's about it. [ laughter ] >> alisyn: i don't understand it. >> wait. >> alisyn: do i need a color on this shirt? >> i need assistance here. >> alisyn: got it. >> steve: it's complicated. but the key is -- brian once again, you can't do it because you've got to be facing it from the side. you've got the collar -- oh, man. >> brian: don't act like you can do it. >> i got it. >> alisyn: you did it? >> brian: not really. >> why can't you tuck both sides over like this. >> steve: that took three seconds. that guy's took two seconds. >> alisyn: i wasted so much of my life on this three seconds. >> brian: we give henry kissinger four minutes. we give folding a shirt nine. >> alisyn: do you know how many people are still yelling at their tv screens because we can't do it? >> brian: we have reports maria did it. >> yes. what i was doing wrong was -- so at this point you cross over. you're supposed to pinch as

>> steve: good?se are going to get you right. there you go. >> steve: speaking of -- it's time to eat. if you're watching right now and you're in a hotel and you're looking for breakfast. at least at one place you got to go get it for yourself. hotels saying feywell to room -- farewell to room service. i'm eating my burrito. >> alisyn: while you're getting -- >> brian: when a guy comes at you with run glove, run for the hills. >> alisyn: while you're getting ready for monday, the irs's official at the center of at that targeting scandal is sleeping in and you're paying for it. >> brian: i'm going to take a break. you don't mind, right, steve? >> steve: hold on, brian. ♪ people talking without are speaking ♪y sp ♪ who's gonna take your wheat thins? i don't know. an intruder, the dog, bigfoot. could you get the light? [ loud crash ] what is going on?! honey, i was close! it's a yeti! [ male announcer ] must! have! wheat thins! the day building a play set begins with a surprise twinge of back pain... an

>>steve: we're going to talk about that.t appears the white house has not been honest about the i.r.s. scandal. shocking. what a supervisor in washington -- not cincinnati -- just admitted to. >>brian: then miss utah did not win miss u.s.a. pageant. maybe this answer had something to do with it. >> i think especially the men are seen as the leaders, so we need to try to figure out how to create education better so that we can solve this problem. thank you. >>brian: miss south carolina called and said that didn't make any sense. "fox & friends" starts, i believe, now. ♪ ♪ >>brian: i feel bad for her. you're on stage. the world is watching. our world is watching. >> how would you like to be on national television and screw up your words. >>brian: that never happens to me. megyn, are you yelling at me? >> yes. i am. why am i here? where's gretchen. >>steve: are you a little cranky because you are going to have a baby any minute? >> it could happen. i hope you brushed up on your e.m.t. skills. you guys got the hot water and the

let's head over now to steve. what do we got? >> steve: look at that.nds." what's she like at home? we sent a camera with her to find out. >> yeah. that's right. my family was in fort lauderdale and getting together is always a blast. but this past visit we celebrated my brother's high school graduation and to add to the fun, of course, i brought a fox news camera along. >> steve: of course. >> hi, everyone. >> hi. >> hey, mom. this is my mom, maria. >> hi. >> and this is my dad, norman. [ laughter ] and my little brother alan. he's graduating high school. way to go. and my cousin jocelyn. let's go eat. some of this is typical nicaraguan food. this is a mixture of rice and beans. that's huge, rice and beans with every type of meat that we eat pretty much. my mom says the name in spanish is gallo pinto. with my mom i speak a lot of spanish. the way she made sure i spoke spanish was first grade, i was learning how to speak and write in english. and then she would make sure when i went home i would write in spanish as well. steak with, which himmichurri. a

steve?ort and we'll be following the president and bring you stuff when we need to. >> alisyn: let's talk about another chapter in the irs scandal. you remember when lois lerner took the fifth in front of the congressional panel. now another irs official there, greg roseman has done the same. obviously congressional congress people want to know what was going on at the irs these past several years when they were taking lavish conferences and targeting conservative groups, but greg roseman is not giving any information until neither are some -- >> clayton: neither are other individuals taking the stand, how they were awarded special treatment as a result of having these contracts. in fact, this one is so outrageous, his name is -- brulio cass see i don't. -- castro i don't. it's alleged he used an injury sustained in a military prepare school to qualify for veterans disability payments, something that happened 27 years ago when he twisted his ankle. after that he was able to play football a n

>> steve: right.dea how that makes you better at directions. >> steve: this isn't just a bunch of people sitting around a coffee table. british news and scientists have done some tests to figure this out. like this question, who is a better lie detector when it comes to infidelity? who can tell? well, according to the experts, the scientists, men are better at figuring out that their wives are having an affair. >> brian: it's hard for me to figure that out. you're saying men are better at detecting and women are more trusting essentially? >> steve: or maybe women are not as good at concealing and men are better liars. >> anna: men are more able to see the facial expressions that suspect nervousness and breathing patterns. who worries more? this is obvious, isn't it? women, but it's actually a good thing. this actually comes down to serotonin, which is the narrow transmitter that is the buzz feeling. we, unfortunately, produce a little less of this, so we tend to worry more. >> brian: if you need to bo

>>steve: sure. how do we know, joshua, that google won't leak -- google keeps track of every key stroke that we make when we're part of the google family. how do we know that google won't leak what we have done, our browsing history, to somebody like a political party much like what the i.r.s. did to political parties before the election? >> well, i think that's probably a question for google. but i think the answer from an outside standpoint would be, look, if a company can't be trusted with data, if people think there's some kind of a partisan agenda behind how they run their business, they'll lose customers. what google seems to be about is being the biggest dominant, most kind of all-inclusive search engine there is. it seems doubtful they would do anything to intentionally risk their market share. but on the other hand, we've seen companies like facebook have problems with privacy. and that's something i think all tech companies need to be aware of. >>steve: i was looking on-line a little while

>>steve: the story. we'll have many parents watching right now seeing red even though that's ♪ ♪ wonder if i gave an oreo ♪ to somebody out there who i didn't know ♪ ♪ would they laugh after i'd gone? ♪ ♪ or would they pass that wonder on? ♪ ♪ i wonder how it'd change your point of view ♪ ♪ if i gave one to you? ♪ (girl) w(guy) dive shop.y?? (girl) diving lessons. (guy) we should totally do that. (girl ) yeah, right. (guy) i wannna catch a falcon! (girl) we should do that. (guy) i caught a falcon. (guy) you could eat a bug. let's do that. (guy) you know you're eating a bug. (girl) because of the legs. (guy vo) we got a subaru to take us new places. (girl) yeah, it's a hot spring. (guy) we should do that. (guy vo) it did. (man) how's that feel? (guy) fine. (girl) we shouldn't have done that. (guy) no. (announcer) love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. lets you connect up to 25 devices on one easy to manage plan. that means your smartphone, her blackberry, his laptop, mark's smartphone but i'm still on

steve?ort that fell short by republican candidate gabriel gomez in massachusetts, special election for john kerry's senate seat. ed former navy -- the former navy seal losing to ed markey 45% to 55%. it was seen as an opportunity for republicans to grab a senate seat held by democrats for decades. scott brown pulled that feat off years ago and he joins us live from boston. good morning to you, scott. >> good morning, steve. >>steve: great to have you again today. given the fact that republicans are outnumbered by democrats three to one in massachusetts, he didn't do too bad. >> he didn't do too bad hreufplt -- do too badly. a lot of republicans listening on the radio yesterday, they sat it out. shame on them because we missed a great opportunity to pick up a seat. kweubz here in -- republicans in massachusetts they want some ideological purity test where they want pure republicans whatever that means. they sat out, shame on them. so we missed an opportunity. >>steve: i don't get why they wou

>>steve: mr.fel was there because it was 30 days later and they were supposed to report back, give us the names of the people who did the targeting and whose idea it was. he didn't have any names. what's interesting though is the real headline is from a couple of days ago, a bunch of democrats said look at this, according to the treasury department apparently they targeted progressive groups. and jay russell george, the i.r.s. i.g., said that they did put 6 progressive groups on a list versus the 292 tea party groups. 100% of them were targeted for extra scrutiny. and those six progressive groups were simply put on a list. >>tucker: for more than two years not a single tea party group received tax exempt status. >>steve: one other thing. mr. werfel had the audacity to ask the committee for an extra $1 billion. by the way, the i.r.s. needs $1 billion more to run things. and dave camp says not until you can prove that you know how to manage your money. >>alisyn: you've got to know your audience. com

steve? >>steve: thank you, brian.are turning to e-cigarettes they are not only helping some people kick the habit, they're helping the economy. joining us is the president of r.j. reynolds vapor company. her company e-cigs are made here in the united states. she joins us live. >> good morning. >> it is called an e-cigarette. you've got one in your hand. there is no tobacco in it. how do you smoke it? >> basically it's a power unit that has a battery. when an adult smoker inhales on it -- >>steve: the end of it glows. >> it heats what we call the v lick kid which does have -- what we call the v liquid. it is expected to be a billion by the end of this year and three billion in the next five years. >>steve: i know at this point you can't make health claims. there is no tar in it, no carbon monoxide, no tobacco. it has to be safer than a regular cigarette? >> we're not making health claims. no tobacco product has been shown to be safe. this is a digital vapor cigarette so there is no tobacco. there is no burning. >>steve

>>steve: thank you.nroe has become a powerful force in the world of tennis, competitor like his brother john, then a successful coach and broadcaster. he joins us right now. you're focused on helping young kids, kids this size learn how to play tennis in a different way than we learned how to play. >> we got the message in tennis. we've got a kids-sized tennis. these kids are ranging between ages of six and nine. you can buy this net and equipment basically for around 100 bucks, any wal-mart, sports authority. and they can start playing anywhere. in the park, your backyard, in your driveway. these balls bounce a little lower, so they don't get up high above the strike zone for the little ones. they get great technique. you watch these kids, it's amazing. >>steve: they are terrific kids. when i was growing up in kansas, my dad set up a net like that. i think it was a badminton net in the driveway. of course it was sloping down but it was all we had. now the tepbl is different where that ball is a marvel b

>> steve: yep.ike a brother to them but because he screwed up, they had to kill him. >> brian: right. and then he went on to do a million appearances. afterwards, they got so much money to appear at different events because they were on the show. meanwhile, for me, if you asked me what stands out about the entire process, steve is into the carnage and killing. but i'm into the therapy. i love the exchange every time tony explored his problems with his mom and how he ended up a mobster. for example -- >> came here today to tell you, in all seriousness that i'm done. i do what you said. i gave it a lot of thought and i decided once and for all, it's over. >> steve: the fact that -- >> gretchen: he's getting divorced? >> brian: no, he's leaving his therapist. >> steve: exactly. >> gretchen: you guys -- are doing like these great reenactments of these -- >> steve: it ran for a long time. what we would do is the night -- the morning after this would run on hbo, we'd come into the studio and talk about th

but gretchen, brian and steve, here we go. >> steve: all right. sit in traffic and she's about to make a left-hand turn onto 6th avenue. >> brian: which i don't think you should be able to do. >> steve: next stop, central park. >> brian: that's the cable news axiom. that's the left turn and those are the people you barely missed. so those people survive. so there is a story. we'll get eric shaun on that. >> i can't believe i'm in a truck. i feel like i'm in a luxurious vehicle. thank you so much. >> you're welcome. >> brian: we want to see the air bag work. bang into something. >> steve: stop it. >> don't egg me on. >> brian, you're fired. >> steve: made in america on the avenue of the americas. good job. >> brian: i never had a camera in the back seat. what is anna's budget? it's huge. >> steve: it's unlimited. that's why we're cable news, the number one television show. >> gretchen: coming up, push homeowners into foreclosures get a gift card? standing revelation. the new details coming up next. >> steve: and parents, grab the kids because this

steve? >> steve: that's right. thank you very much.throw a fancy party but think it will cost a lot. you're going to show us how to do for less than 100 bucks. >> you can't buy great entertaining. i have my under $100 for ten people, including wine, sangria, roasted corn, cookies, slice -- we're not talking burgers and dogs. bourbon marinaded steak, and dessert cookies and a goody bag so they can remember tomorrow when they take away a goody bag. >> steve: all right. let's go through some of the items. talk about a steak. >> this is a great bourbon steak with a nice bourbon marinade. brushetta, gazpacho. >> steve: that costs about ten bucks. >> the steak in most pricey, about $20. the wine, about 20. corn, you can buy a sack of corn today. now they're in season, buy things that are in season. really good for you. jalapeno popcorn as a starter. only a couple dollars. it's very, very inexpensive. >> steve: then the last item? goody bag. >> five dollars for cookies and five dollars for the goody bag. great outdoor grilling, you need a gre

brian, carol and steve. >> steve: we thank you very much. continue the conversation about mr. snowden in a couple of minutes with our old buddy, donald trump live from new york. >> carol: live from new york. now to the rest of your headlines. while you were sleeping, james gandolfini's body arrived home in new jersey. his casket was loaded onto a private plane yesterday in italy. funeral services are set for this thursday in manhattan. new jersey governor chris christie ordered allstate flags to be lowered to half-staff today in his honor. >>> an american executive is being held hostage by his own workers inside his own plant in beijing, china. he has been held captive for four days. his workers are demanding severance packages like those given to 30 other employees who were laid off. however, these workers aren't being let go, he says. local officials forced him to meet their demands. workers are expected to get wire transfers tomorrow. >>> in a couple of hours, opening statements begin in the trial of george zimmerman. he's charged with se

>> no, you didn't. >> steve: yeah.i don't think so. >> gretchen: it was a strap key little number. i saw it. >> steve: what were you doing there? >> in the dress? i only wore it once in photos. >> brian: the second time you don't wear white. >> gretchen: there you are. you're reenacting the movie ""bridesmaids." >> i don't know how i did that. >> brian: you're the host, you have to take risks. >> steve: you're outside the fake bridal shop where the girls got sick after eating at that joint. >> yeah, yeah. >> brian: this is real tv. very exciting. >> yeah. it's a fun show. it's got funny stuff like gags like "terminator 2". >> brian: that's good because america wants to be in films. there is very few guys like you who get to be in the film. >> whatever you say, yeah. >> brian: i'm selling your show! >> thank you. >> gretchen: let's go back to the scene we saw in "rocky." is it true when you landed the first punch on brian's best friend, sylvester stallone, is it true that he had to go to the hospital as a result of that

over to steve.er our next guest from his starring role in the first two beethoven movies. also the heart break kid and midnight run as well. he's an author, an actor, a comedian and radio show commentator who has written many books including the bestseller, it would be so nice if you weren't here. joining us now is charles grodin, author of "humorous observations on life in america." good morning to you. >> thank you. i'd like to make an opening statement. i didn't realize when i came in that this is the army's birthday. and it reminded me of a story years ago. this is a true story. i was on larry king and he asked if i had been in the military. and i deliberately ducked the question. then he asked me a second time. again i evaded the question. he asked me a third time. and i said i was in the navy. he said why were you being so evasive? i said i wasn't on our side. luckily people knew that was a joke. wasn't on our snide you've got to be careful -- wasn't on our side? you've got to be careful with

>> steve: what? >> jimmy: love that guy! >> steve: what?mmy: and then one of my favorite dudes. got a new album out. country music superstar -- [ cheers and applause ] super stud. >> steve: super stud. >> jimmy: super studly human being. >> steve: super sized. >> jimmy: 7'9" gentleman. >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: blake shelton is here on the show tonight! [ cheers and applause ] make it hotter! hot stuff! hot stuff! hot stuff! hot stuff! hot show. >> steve: superstar, superstar, superstar. >> jimmy: you guys, good friday is tomorrow, which means we're not doing a show. and normally, friday is when i catch up with some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, return some emails and, of course, send out "thank-you notes." [ cheers and applause ] so -- do you guys mind if i just do that right now? is that cool? can i write a few "thank-you notes"? [ cheers and applause ] i appreciate that. roots, can i get some "thank-you note" writing music, please? ♪ >> steve: wait a second. >> jimmy: hey, he's looking down the barrel. >> steve: he's not mes

back inside, steve, gretchen and brian. >> steve: all right.hanges coming to your iphone. apple kick off its annual software conference today. rumors are flying about what the company has up its sleeve. >> brian: they're predicting a new version of the ipad and streaming service. >> steve: clayton morris is live from california with the details. it's a campout, isn't it? >> it's like a hoe down campout. i'm live in downtown san francisco, wwdc, 2013. this event sold out in 90 seconds. these guys camped out all night long. there is tents. this thing wraps all the way around the building. these guys are the developers that make all of those apps that you use on your ipad, iphone and ios device. today is the big day. they're camped out because tim cook set to take the stage in a few short hours and the word is major changes coming from apple today. major changes. that is the software that you see on your ios device could look radically different. some of the sources i'm hearing from say this is divisive within apple 6789 it's polarizing that some

sure -- [ light laughter ] -- in the past. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's my job. >> steve: it's your it. >> jimmy: so, i might've said that, you know, his face is made of 95% recycled material. whatever i said. [ laughter ] i'm sorry, that's just what i do. i joke -- i make jokes about people. i feel really bad. i don't wanna do it -- i don't know bruce personally. i don't know him as -- so anyways, i ran into him, london, during the olympics. this is a true story. you guys might know this story because i've told this before, only once because i'm afraid of him. >> steve: right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's an athlete. >> steve: he's an athlete. he's an olympian. >> jimmy: yeah, he's a gold medal winning athlete. >> steve: decathlon. >> jimmy: yeah. he's an american icon. >> steve: not like shooting -- decathlon. >> jimmy: so i run into him and i go -- i don't want to run into him because i said jokes about him. i go, let's just get out of here. and i want to get out of the way. so, i leave and tom brokaw stops me and he goes -- [ as brokaw ] "jimmy fallon, jimmy. how are you, jimmy?

welcome to larry king our special guest steve austin you know almost stone cold steve austin six time world wrestling federation champ and w w e hall of famer he now host country music television's competition series redneck island airing wednesday nights at ten thirty eastern we'll talk about that in a while how the how did the name stone cold come of one of the new stone cold happen back in a day i was wrestling a steve austin and then one of the guys that i was traveling with gave me the name stunning steve austin stunning steve yeah you're a great looking guy. and i had long hair didn't have the goatee i was a pretty good looking get sent away i lose a job or get fired it's time to come up with a new identity you know and when i went to one that's when vince mcmahon from debbie debbie f. back and i gave me a call and i was going to go in and they want to bring me in his the ringmaster so i went in as a ringmaster but i knew going in that was just a foot in a door that the ringmaster didn't have staying power didn't have legs you are never going to see that as a marquee name on any

♪ >> steve: what?: oh, no. >> jimmy: we've got a secret or something. >> steve: he's got a secret on his mind. >> jimmy: he's got a secret he wants to tell. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> steve: and it's not the deodorant. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. >> steve: got a secret. >> jimmy: teen spirit, yeah. ♪ thank you, kim and kanye, for naming your baby daughter after one direction. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: at least it wasn't south. >> jimmy: yeah, no, it wasn't. yeah. ♪ thank you, discovery channel's new series, "naked and afraid," for sounding like a reality show about my love life in college. [ laughter ] sad. sad story. >> steve: wait, no one's here! bored. >> jimmy: no, it might be. ♪ thank you, miss utah -- [ laughter ] for saying that we need to create education better. [ laughter and applause ] and inadvertently proving your own point. [ laughter ] create education better, and -- ♪ thank you, ice cream scoop spoons, for allowing me to prepare a lovely dessert with a se

>> steve: right. [ applause ] >> jimmy: what did she say? >> steve: what did she say?e say?" we just started that, man. just start saying that. >> steve: what did she say? >> jimmy: yeah. hey, this problem's hard. what did she say? >> steve: what did she say? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @christinaterry. she says "i asked my dad if i was adopted and he said 'trust me, no one would pay for you.'" [ laughter ] good night, dad. good night. >> steve: i'm watching the eagles, shush! >> jimmy: i'm listening to the eagles on the eagles channel. this one's from @avakemp. she says "when i told my dad i was going to france for three weeks, he said you've got to be careful there, because you know they're all bisexual." [ laughter ] are you sure. that wasn't in -- that wasn't in the photos guide. >> steve: yeah, the one thing you know. >> jimmy: that wasn't in the lonely planet. >> steve: well, it was. >> jimmy: this is from @atlivinjusttoday. she says "i asked me dad why we never had the talk about drugs. he said 'i don't have to worry about you. you don't have any mone

i'm steve wynn.enough towels. >> the golden nugget became wynn's golden egg. las vegas was just a bunch of casinos in the 1980s when steve wynn built the mirage, the first luxury resort on the strip. outside, a volcano exploded every 15 minutes. inside, he hired siegfried and roy to perform. next door, he built another hotel and brought cirque du soleil to las vegas for the first time. the strip wasn't just about gambling anymore, and steve wynn was hailed as a visionary. >> i've been given too much credit for that, really. if you look at las vegas in the 1980s, there hadn't been anything built since 1973 new. and so the city was in a time warp. and, as has so often been the case, in the valley of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. >> so you had an idea, and you were king. >> yeah, all of a sudden, i looked like i was a rocket scientist. >> not a rocket scientist but a showman. >> captain of the britannia! ready, aim, fire! [explosions booming] >> when he imploded the old dunes hotel in 1993, the e

i recommend lasik to both steve and rick. they would become even more handsome than they are today, by the way. >> i could use a little of that, too. but morgan, the fact is it's true, the marketing works even in medicine, when you get competitive prices out there, the prices come down. people compete. >> that may be true for primary care physicians and specifically private practice priiary care physicians but that's not where the ballooning health care costs are taking place. you need to look at hospitals, medical devices and you need to look at insurance but not just insurance administrative costs. actually malpractice, the amount of that. >> which president obama didn't want to touch in obama care. >> because of all his lawyer friends. >> i think this is a great idea on a base level when you're going to see the family doctor if you can afford out of pocket. but at the end of the day it doesn't get to the larger issues. hospitals and i think rich will appreciate this, you need to see disruption there. clayton christiansen h

>> steve: yeah, gotta learn. >> jimmy: run to close to -- >> steve: hey, those teeth will grow back.ack. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @deborahsmithies. she says, "one time at the beach, a wave knocked the glass eye right out of my friend's dad's head. he made all the kids look for it." [ laughter ] "c'mon, get it in. find old papa's eyeball." >> steve: "it's the shiniest shell you'd ever see!" >> jimmy: i don't want to hangout -- >> steve: i'm a pirate! [ light laughter ] i'm a kick that five-year-old. [ light laughter ] this is @horhayballs. [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] horhay's with us tonight. hey, horhay. welcome. you know who you are. he's in the audience. okay. he says, "i was at the beach with my shirt off and i overheard a kid ask his mom, 'i'm not going to have boobs like that guy when i grow up, am i?'" aw, poor horhay balls. [ laughter ] this one's from @adrianas1970. she says, "i came out of the water and laid on a towel next to my mom. she looked at me and i realized: not my mom, not my towel." [ laughter ] how's it going? >> steve: hey. >> jimmy:

steve: advice.

yeah. >> steve: he's so cute! know. >> steve: he's just cute. >> jimmy: thank you, veggie burgers, for being great for people who hate the taste of hamburgers, but love the shape of hamburgers. [ laughter ] >> steve: the vege burger. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, vans, for being driven by people who either have kids or shouldn't be anywhere near kids. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thank you, atm fees, for allowing me to buy my own money. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: the fee that always pays off. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, edible arrangements, for being the perfect way to say "i love you" and "you should eat better." [ applause ] >> steve: is it cake? fruit on a stick?! ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, porch lights, or as mosquitoes and moths call you, nightclubs. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, pears, for not being sold in twos. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: confusing. it was a -- >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: -- a bit confusing. >> steve: come on, nice pear! >> jimmy: it was too confusing. [ chee

oh, man. >> steve: shocking. >> jimmy: this next one -- >> steve: oh, i feel something now. is a real page-turner here. this is "five celebrated early surgeons of southern alberta." >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: very specific. very -- yeah. i knew this was gonna be good because i've read his other best-seller, "five celebrated surgeons of northern alberta." [ laughter ] that's all we've got for "do not read." if you have a book that you think should be on our next "do not read list," i want to see it. send your title to our blog at latenightblog@nbc.com. we'll be right back with "competitive spit-takes," everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ 99 bushels of wheat on the farm...99 bushels of wheat! ♪ [ male announcer ] yep, there's 8 layers of whole grain fiber in those mini-wheats® biscuits... to help keep you full... ♪ 45 bushels of wheat on the farm. 45 bushels of wheat! ♪ ...all morning long. there's a big breakfast... [ mini ] yeehaw! ...in those fun little biscuits. has motionsense activated by your movement, the more you move the more it protects. ♪ do more. ♪ d

>> steve: that's nice. >> jimmy: john macdonald did that, yeah. >> steve: john macdonald is a genius.years of footage to put something like that together. we've been saving up brian williams stuff. >> steve: oh, my gawrsh. >> jimmy: that's amazing, right? >> steve: that was fantastic. >> jimmy: let's try another one here. this one is from kelly klein. hey, jimmy, one of my favorite games to play is truth, truth, lie, where you have to tell two truths and then a lie. it's really fun. you should try doing it on your show. sounds fun. all right, kelly, i'll try it. two truths and a lie. my name is jimmy. i have a sister. i built the eiffel tower. [ laughter ] it's pretty fun. quest, you want to try? >> questlove: sure. okay. i'm from philadelphia. i play the drums. and i have two nipples. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: quest, the last one is supposed to be a lie. >> questlove: i know. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: let's try another one here. this is from casey steele. hey, jimmy, my favorite iphone ringtone is the xylophone one, but i've always wondered what it would sound like

welcome to larry king our special guest steve austin you know almost stone cold steve austin six time world wrestling federation champ and w w e hall of famer he now host country music television's competition series redneck island airing

steve is right.ut the ga o and congress blasts the transportation administration for padded budget and waste and a bows. stop raising taxes and put your own house in order. what we get a return for. long lines. >> and rick unger, you are always railing against greed on the part of the government and wanting to tax one more thing. >> i don't understand why they wouldn't. there is no fees where i can charge and the government doesn't tax me. airs are making the money on the extra charges now. why wouldn't they be taxed on it. >> john, you go through any of your bills, whether it is a phone bill or bill for your airline ticket and you can see all of the taxes here and there. enough, right? >> yeah, that is the problem, the federal government doesn't have a problem with revenues, what it has a problem of doing too much and if we give them more revenue twill grow more and more and suffocate the economy. let's cut the taxes and not raise the burden on the american people. >> you know where this money is go

i tend to agree with steve.nd listen, a studies that y that you get more money with a college degree are skewed by the degrees that actually ke the money. when you look at the college degreeat are liberal arts, you'reot making the amount of money that other people are making in the marketplace. you know what? i'ltell u, michael is absolutely right. the way the college system is built up, it islamming the middle-class family and american family so har so those college gduates are not tting the jobs as they come out into the work fce. >> rick ungar, there's no denyg the middle class is hit hardt by these school costs. >> th are. a couple quick things. to make a blanket statement by saying anybody th a liberal arts degree is going to do wll is not true. >> i'm not going to support the the data. it's true. >> goahed, rick. >> yeah, i have a liberal arts degree. >> so do i. >> it didn't turn out so badly, sthat's not true. >> listen, i have a liberal arts degree. i started out with just $19,000 a year. >> you're n do