let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. andy, what's coming up on tonight's show? >> you won't go see him on monday night football as espn and hank williams junior officially partways. and president obama talks about the importance of his jobs bill at a press conference on thursday, but was he so boring he added to unemployment by putting clinics out of business? and why are conservative white males less likely to believe in global warm ?g a shocking study that doesn't answer the question, greg. >> happy bald and free day. >> what exactly is bald and free? >> bald and free day is a chance for bald people to celebrate their baldness, and for others to honor them. >> andy, apologize to bald people. just because you have a head of highlighted, spiky blonde hair, it doesn't make you special. >> ient in you no offense, and no highlights. soon enough i will be one of them. in fact, i would like to use my pulpit to call on all scientists to stop whatever research they are doing and focus on a cure for baldness. >> andy? >> yes, greg. >> i don't believe you have a pulpit.

i shall see you in about 18 minutes or so. >>> coming up, andy levy is dead tired of sitting at home and taking his medicine. get well soon, andy. take care of the cats. and what is with venezuela an mimes? my guess is it is probably something. >>> what are you doing, bill? >> i had a fingernail in my teeth. maybe i can use the string. >> don't do that. she wasn't feeling the rush. i speak of a texas woman suing the local police for forcing her to listen to rush limbaugh. bridgeen nicker son boyd said she was arrested for driving on the shoulder after pulling off the highway because her engine was steaming. on the way to jail the sheriff deputy cranked up and was making derogatory comments about black people. now boyd is suing for defamation and inflix of emotional distress. is we must discuss all things rush in the -- >> lightning roooooouuuunnd. lightning round. >> yea. what are are yo thoughts on this? should she be able to sue because she didn't like what was on the radio? >> no. and by the way, it is total nonsense that she got -- she was arrested for driving on the shoulder? you

let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. andy, what's coming up on the show, old sport? >> our top story, the war criminal george bush orders an american citizen killed without due process. we will have complete coverage of liberal outrage straight ahead. what's that? oh, sorry. nobel peace prize winner barack obama orders an american citizen killed without due process. nothing to see here. plus, can taking shrooms change a person's personality for the better? the shocking story you and the giant rabbit next to you want to see. and we sent bill schulz on the street to see how people celebrated gwenyth paltrow's birthday. sadly he did not get hit by a truck. >> thank you, andy jie. happy national mud pack day. >> i love them. dean martin, sammy davis, junior. >> no, greg, that was the rat pack. >> the mud pack was emilio es tau varies and demi moore and molly ring -- ringwald. >> that was the brat pack. >> no, that you can find at a beer festival. it is a dietary issue. >> not sure what you are talking about. oktoberfest is around the corner and i know you are a fan. >> i

post game wrap up with tv's andy levy. andy levy.ee clips of recent shows ( phone ringing ) okay... uhh. the bad news, it's probably totaled. the good news is, you don't have to pay your deducble. with vanishing deductible from nationwide insurance, you got $100 off for every year of safe driving, so now your deductible is zero. the other good news ? i held on to your coffee. wow. ♪ nationwide is on your side ( laughing ) it's actually a pretty good day whenou consider. that's great. post game wrap up. >> michael, where can people go to find out about your forthcoming awesomeness. >> you can find it on twitter at mc moynihan. i think that's it. lots of good stuff. look on it. >> basically you have nothing to plug. >> nothing to plug. >> where are you going to be friday night? >> i will be with my partner, sean gardener who is part of susan g komen's honoring the promise ceremony at the kennedy center in washington, d.c. >> you have a partner. >> imaib. >> i hope they don't roll in the tanks to the kennedy center. >> i hope they do. >

post game wrap up with tv's andy levy. to see clips of recent shows go to fox news .com/red eye. >>> back to andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> michael, where can people go to find out about your forthcoming awesomeness. >> you can find it on twitter at mc moynihan. i think that's it. lots of good stuff. look on it. >> basically you have nothing to plug. >> nothing to plug. >> where are you going to be friday night? >> i will be with my partner, sean gardener who is part of susan g komen's honoring the promise ceremony at the kennedy center in washington, d.c. >> you have a partner. >> imaib. >> i hope they don't roll in the tanks to the kennedy center. >> i hope they do. >> i low pressure on "the five" tomorrow. i am moving to new york. that's a big thing. from wyoming to manhattan. it will be quite a journey. >> we can hang out. >> um, yeah. >> john, when are you filling in for me again? >> you weren't that bad.

still to come, the half time report from tv's andy levy.is a disgusting human being. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by mattresses, the rectangular pad on coiled springs. thanks, mattresses. plap >>> welcome back. let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. now to andy levy. >> greg, what's up? >> not much. >> can we start? >> didn't mean to interrupt you. >> that's fine. i had to figure out what i was having for dinner after the show. >> fantastic. >> occupy wall street. greg, i didn't know in the 80s were you married to roseanne bar. >> it was brief. it was passionate. i won't forget those moments. >> sure. >> she broke my heart and my futon. >> well played, sir. >> sherrod, you asked why the nymd is locking up several people. i'm sure all of those people were booked and released. >> booked and released? but you have to pay somebody to do the paperwork. it is a waste of money. if you put them back where you grabbed them fun -- >> are you saying they should have been tossed off the bridge? joy it is america, we are all about

still to come, the half time report from tv's andy levy. he is back. i hate him already. >> the half time report is sponsored by crow shea art. the objects formed that is normally used to make clothes by looping the thread through a self-with needle hook. thanks, crow shea art. >>> welcome back. let's see if we have anything wrong. for that we will go to andy levy. andy, you look healthy. >> thank you. last week my lip was so blown up people -- parents on the streets were yelling at their kids, "stay away. it is a mccu ry o." >> your lips were disgustingly huge. >> what kind of infection was this? >> the good kind, paul. >> at least he had an excuse, paul. >> for a week i knew what it was like to be paul, and now i feel bad making fun of him. greg, you started off the show by saying i'm greg gutfeld and i'm right here so the guy peeking in the window at 3:00 a.m. wouldn't be me. did some digging and turns out we tape earlier in the night. >> you lie. lie. >> still isn't me though. >> i am not saying it is. >> i am somewhere else. >> you said it couldn'

for that we go to andy levy. hi, andy. >> hi, greg, how are you? >> great, thanks for asking. >> bob, how are you? >> fine, good. >> excellent. >> you said the police in oakland were overreacting. oakland mayor quan seems to agree with you. she is now distancing herself from what the police did. she said she was away in washington when it all went down. >> does that mean she learned something? i think that the police tend to overreact in things like that. these are protesters who are against the establishment, and the police are there to protect the establishment like our host. why would they protect him? >> they don't want to lose their jobs. >> here is the thing. bob, i don't think it is fair to just say oh, the police are pigs. >> i am not suggesting they are pigs. i used to call them pigs. i was a lot younger. >> you know, the story about how all of these crimes, and they had their best cops down on wall street and everybody who hate the wall street people say they are a bunch of punks and drunks and homeless people. why do you need it to prote

tv's andy levy is still out festering and oozing like a giant boil.illing in is the always awesome, "the five" andrea, and who is coming up on tonight's show? >> thanks, greg. tonight i will read each and every e-mail released in the sylindra scandal, topless. just kidding. they haven't been this furious since they looked into a mirror. they are encouraging the wall street protesters to insight violence. and mark ruffalo, who ever that is, says we should join the protest to get our dignity back. nothing says dignity like crapping on a police car. right, mark? whatever the hell your name s. and are you ready for robust tax relief? the nfl is surprisingly, not really, overwhelmingly supports republicans over democrats. and we will tell you which sport supports democrats even though it is technically not considered a sport. in bill's apartment it is, and in certain new york neighborhoods after 3:00 a.m. >> thank you, andrea. i look forward to your analysis in this block. >>> let's welcome our guest. she is cuter than 10 smurfs impaired on the hood of a u

let's go to tv's andy levy for a pre game report. andy, what's coming up on today's show, old sport? >> our top story, as occupy wall street enters the eighth year we try to find more things to say about it. and who were the big winners and losers at the 23rd republican presidential debate? we will try to tell and you hope there is not another debate before this segent meant airs. and what happens when bill schulz goes to comic-con? hopeful leahy will get the crap beat out of him. >> happy evaluate your life day, greg. >> how can that be happy? >> it gives uh chance to reflect on what you have done and where you are going. for certain people that's not a bad idea. >> are you insinuating something, andy? >> what do you mean? >> you put emphasis on my name there. >> did i? >> i think you did. >> i don't think so, greg. i think there is something else going on here. >> what if there is, andy? >> it is carlos, isn't it? >> it would have been you are anniversary. >> let it go. >> he was the best full body massage therapist on the planet. h

still to come, the half time report from tv's andy levy. don't like him. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by snakes, the legless reptiles with the scaly body tapering toward the tale, lidless eyes and often venomous fangs. thanks, snakes. >>> let's find out if we have got anything wrong so far. now to andy levy. >> were you just on a high after that interview. good for you. >> but we will get to that in a minute. >> will we? >> i still can't believe he compared obama to net tinhu. it sickens me. you said he wasn't comparing obama to hitler, which i great with, but his follow-up comments indicates that's what he was doing. >> the grabbing for something out there that he doesn't like and putting it into a thing he doesn't like. >> that's the only rule you have to remember. >> it is a 20-second song and a four-hour telecast. they would have been better on to move away from it. >> you proved that. >> and not be punished and banished. >> are you ready for some andy? >> you say the metaphor was wrong. maybe that's because it was an anal

now to andy levy. what is coming up on tonight's show, old sport? >> you have to get your groove on before you get paid, america. a new survey shows 50% of americans think pot should be legalized. plus does watching reality show turn girls into mean girls? and a fat guy beats up shy yaw law buff. >> thank you, andy. >> well come, greg. >> is this where you wish me happy something day. >> yeah, but there were no good ones. >> you mean to tell me there is nothing special about today? >> i guess there isn't. >> you guess there isn't? great. >> okay what is this about? >> what do you mean? >> you are currently upset about this, and i just don't think it is that big of a deal. >> you don't think it is that big a deal, great. >> what did i miss? >> it is erin moran's birthday. >> okay. >> kind of a big day in the gutfeld household. >> i did not know that. >> every october 18th, the whole family would gather around the tv and watch marathons of "happy days" and" jonie loves chachi" and one year my parents got a copy of the time she was on "the love boat" a

yes, folks, once again andy levy was unable to make it for tonight's show. at this point andy is around less frequently than bill's dad was growing up. our top story, for the seconds time in his career, tim robins will crawl through a mileage of sewage for freedom. tim robins showed up at the occupy protest proving that an dree refrain can no longer refrain from yelling at people with ties. nd morgan freeman hurt ticket sales. you know what hurt ticket sales? the plough the. the triumph of an amputee dolphin. who wouldn't want to see an amputee flipper? and conservative white males are least likely to believe in climate change. one group says, "we think conservative white males are jerky jerk sons. that statement was released by sweating penguins and polar bears." >> see you at the half. let's welcome our guests. she's so hot you can fry an egg on her forehead? who would? you have skill lets in every shop in the country. and he is considered one of the whitest in america. but jarls groden fell asleep in the green m -- green room. and he makes his own string

a transgender trend or has someone been reading andy levy's diary when he was 10 years old? finally french manicures soon could be a no no in this man's army. could the relaxing cucumber mask be next? andy? >> thanks and welcome for wearing your suit. >> thank you. >> i am here with attorney and former contestant on "the apprentice." her new book comes out on friday. jaime weinstein. he has a made uptight tell according to his boss tucker carl -- carlson. and bill schulz, i think he is dressed as billy joe armstrong from green day. and sit sitting next to me is constantine marules. his hair has its own publish sits. and he goes into the pale because his news is stale. hi, pinch. >> today in home and leisure they discuss the best way to child proof one's home. want to know how to pinch people? put things on shelves. due to lack of any uh pen denses -- appendages i cannot walk, lap or jump. what are you doing? can you bring slash carry me with you? anyone? hello? >> are -- you are the dumbest pawking paper. >> go back to your box. >> dumbest talking paper on tv. we are stouteri

i learned one thing and that is i miss andy levy. >> you are a good man. >> i will give uh c, c plus.? >> i think a b because he comeld me. >>> do you have to be a miserable person with a damaged background to be a stands up comedian? joe derosa talks about his new book. and should porn be banned in prisons and prisons be banned in porn? either question excites me. >>> can they turn your to the on to -- tot on to pot? i speak of certain lollipops. a place in new york, the sweets are sparking outrage like something that sparks outrage, perhaps an outrage sparker. they are calling it is ring pot, seen here on sale in local stores a new low. said one councilman, quote, we are already dealing with a high amount of drug abuse and drug activity to have a licensed store sell this to kids is ignore -- ignorance and irresponsible. the product on sale at a thousand stores across the country promotes the legalization of the drug. he said this while completely nude. let's discuss this in the -- >> lightning round. >> that was quick. brooke, you fro -- you pro tekt children. >> and you like pot. >

. >> andy levy is off once again. don't ask what happened to him. that's not important. >> fig is in "fox news" anchor patti ann brown. what's coming up tonight? >> thanks you, i get to ombuds the ombudsman who ombuds the ombudsman. tonight on "red eye," be a occupy wall street protester expresses her concern "we'll all look sick and crazy on tv." don't worry, lady, no chance of that. air travelers now have to deal with chatdowns in addition to pat-downs. security personnel now grill passengers with questions like, where are you going? how long are you staying in what wine goes best with fish. plus google plus google plus google -- where was i? oh, yeah, a google plus employee wrote a post bragging that he knows more about social networks than anyone else at his company and then he accidentally shared it publicly and then he apologized explaining that he really don't no much about social networks and more. all that coming up and more on "red eye." >> well, that's our show. [ laughter~] >> thanks, patti. >> guess whether happened to me, right? >> let

tv's andy levy is off tonight. filling in is mike baker of the cia.ow the president -- now the maker of diligence. diligence medical girdles. for all of your needs think diligence. diligence, even we don't know what we do. mike, what is coming up on tonight es -- tonight's show? >> loads of excitement down here in the fox news basement. we are getting ready for tonight's extravaganza. we had to install temporary seating for all of the protesters who won free tickets to this evening's "red eye" during the occupy wall street" red eye" party. it was quite an event. and will tomorrow morning be the occupy wall street protestor's water lieu in new york city? they say we ain't leaving. the park's owner says ain't isn't is word. and who is that behind the plot to blowup officials? the terror mastermind or weed smoking loser. tonight we will prove you can be both at the same time. and scientists for years studied the correlation between the political campaign contributions and the win-loss in the league. we will talk to bill about what he thinks the term tail

the one near the number seven the one near the number seven andy levy is off. filling in is mike baker. he is the fine maker of diligent snack cakes and diligence glow sticks. when you are in the market, think diligence. diligence, whatever it does, it is probably illegal. mike, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> to be clear, that's not the one on 40th street, greg. >> yes. >> got it. well, it has been a long day of is he or isn't he? america's newsroom. finally we can report that qaddafi is completely dead. con officialed reports say he will remain deceased for some time. we will ask guests to weigh in and what they will miss most. is the occupy wall street movement going mainstream in -- mainstream? in the movement adopted by the current administration, the democratic leadership and major unions and liberal fns sears are launching a campaign to build their image. we will have tricky questions designed to make them look like 1 percenters. and we will look at the nation's mood, and we will compare america's misery index with the bill schulz personal misery

tv's andy levy is off tonight. filling in for him is mike baker, the former cia operative and the president of diligence. the proud makers of diligence shoe cream and novelty mustaches. for all of your g-string and shoe tree and muss stash needs, see diligence, diligence, you see us before you die. hi, mike, what's coming up on tonight's show? >> that was tonight's show. >> thanks, greg. thank you. "red eye" watchers have gathered for the big, big live audience show featuring top named concert acts and mobile food trucks and an old stripper named red soxy. -- roxy. it is an exciting moment, and let's get to the topic. without giving consideration to the conservative candidate, does that mean you are brainwashed? we will ask herman cane, the gop presidential candidate. okay, he is not here. we won't be asking him. we will talk about the subject and engage in the banter that no one actually during the course of the banter will say anything they shouldn't. dog bites man, not news. man bites dog, that has nothing to do

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