with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live and, now, for your information, here's jimmy kimmeland applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. and, well, most nights, really. who in our studio audience tonight is here on summer vacation? [ cheers and applause ] and how many of you are teenage runaways here to steal my bicycle? [ cheers and applause ] about half and half, i guess. president obama had a little vacation over the weekend, on the gulf coast of florida. the president and his family spent just over 24 hours in the gulf. some republicans are actually attacking him for not staying longer. they do have a point. president bush, for instance, used to vacation for weeks and weeks. obama is trying to help tourism on the gulf after the oil spill. he even jumped into the gulf to prove it was safe. unfortunately, he did a cannonball right on to a pelican. nothing goes right for this guy. this is him. you don't believe the water's clean? how about a pull my 9-year-old daughter into it? sasha, do not swallow, you understand me? do not let a drop of this fi

kimmel!rs and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there. i'm jimmy. thank you for watching. thank you for -- who is ready to crunk? is crunking still -- i don't know how to do it, but i've heard of it. today is national smores day. did you know that? today is the day on which we honor the memory of all the fallen marshmallows who were drowned in chocolate and burned at the stake to make this the fattest country in the world. you think the taliban has smores week? i doubt it. i doubt they do. hey, chef gordon ramsay is here. maybe he'll make us some smores. sofia vergara is here. you know -- this is some -- did a thing on this on "nightline" tonight. a flight attendant from jetblue, a gentleman named steve slater is becoming a folk hero today because of the way he quit his job. >> the flight touched down at kennedy, a woman pulled a bag down from the overhead compartment. passengers said the bag struck slater on the head and he demanded an apology. instead, the passenger swore at slater and he returned th

jimmy kimmel!and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for that. welcome to the show. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the program. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. a number of vacationers in our audience tonight. mostly people who were too cheap to go to disneyland, but that's fine. we'll take it. i promise, i can make you throw up just as easily as space mountain. we have winos from baltimore here tonight. [ applause ] that's right. summer is -- i'm sad to say summer is slipping away. my niece and nephew started school today, which is, it's terrible. barely even august. they live in arizona, so i guess they wanted to get the kids back in school when the playground was still 150 degrees. even shark week is over. shark week ended -- really? shark week has been getting huge ratings for the discovery channel for many years now. and apparently, they're trying to duplicate it, or something, but i don't think the new week they came up with has quite the same punch. >> if you thought shark week was s

, here's jimmy kimmel!rs and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, cleto. that's very kind. i'm jimmy. thank you for copping. thank you for watching. sorry i'm late. my school bus broke down on my way over here. school bus mechanic here in the audience tonight. don't worry. your children are very safe. i tell you what, there was a great deal of excitement here in los angeles this week. president obama paid us a visit. he actually slept over my house last night. breakfast this morning, ate a whole box of honey bunches of oats. all that was left was dust. he was here for a star-studded fund-raiser held at the home of john wells. they raised $1 million and converted him to scientology, so it was a success. the event was supposed to raise funds for the democratic campaign committee was obama was in seattle today, and, well, look at this. >> nobody here is getting too fat and happy. everybody here is operating on very lean margins. >> jimmy: i don't know how he's spending those funds. a lot of people were angry coming

kimmel!rs and applause ] >> jimmy: that's very kind. thank you for being here. thank you for watching. i'm jimmy. coming at you tonight with music and fun and if you're not careful, you might even learn something before we're done. but probably not. we -- you know, we've been following this story about steven slater, that runaway jetblue flight attendant who has electrified this nation with a daring escape from employment. he cursed out the plane, grabbed a couple of beers and went down the inflatable slide. which raised the question -- why don't we always go down the inflatable escape slide? why can't things be fun, you know? and of course as is always the case with this sort of story, the facts are starting to ruin it. we would like to believe this was one of those enough is enough moments but some of the passengers who were on the flight said slater was confrontational at the get-go, and may even have been drinking on the job. to which i say, don't be a slater hater, i mean -- [ laughter ]

jimmy kimmel!rs and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for being. very nice of you. do we have any bulgarians in the audience tonight? a bulgarian snuck in here tonight. there he is. [ cheers and applause ] that has nothing to do with the light. bulgarians reflect no light. welcome, welcome. hey, you know who else is here tonight, zac efron is here tonight. we're about to be hit by a category 5 zac attack. this is surprising. "the new york post" had a story that said that zac and his "high school musical" castmate corbin blue spent $2,000 this weekend at a trip club in new york. and if that is true, i would like to commend the strippers who even when two of america's most desirable young men walked into a club, managed to maintain their composures to fleece them for $2,000. that's professionalism, is what it is. by the way, if zac had to spent $2,000 to get girls to pay attention to him, where does that leave the rest of us? i mean, that'

kimmel! cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone, i'm jimmy. thank you for coming. thank you for watching. i'm here tonight to entertain you and who knows, maybe it will actually happen. it was very, very hot today. almost everywhere in the united states except for here, really. there are heat advisories in 18 states from texas to new york. it's been over 90 degrees in washington, d.c. for 45 days already this year. and when it gets this hot, how do you beat the heat? well, you go to the lake and jump on something called the blob. isn't that great? i need a blob. first i need a lake, then i need a blob. [ cheers and applause ] that's -- will somebody please get me a blob? thank you. on mtv tonight, the "jersey shore" returned for a second episode of the second season. there is, let me tell you, there's a lot of tension between j-woww and angelina right now. why i care about this, i have no idea. but i think i do. if you don't watch the show, there's a girl named angelina who doesn't get a

and now, it's my pleasure to inform you here's jimmy kimmel!my: wow, that's very nice of you. thanks for coming. it's a real rice krispy treat to have you here tonight with us. welcome to "the bachelorette" after the after the after the rose special. hour nine of our ongoing coverage here of abc. i'm your host chris harrison. thank you for tuning in. as you know tonight, the emotional finale of the bachelorette, and i'm going to admit something, and i hope you don't think less of me for saying this but i haven't cried this much watching a tv show since t.r. knight left "grey's anatomy." i mean that. i was an absolute mess. the bachelorette ali made the most important decision a person can make. she converted to islam. [ laughter ] now shabazz faruk i think. all the spoiler blogs were sure she'd pick roberto. they all said it's obvious she's more attracted to him. it's obvious they have chemistry. sure enough, it was roberto. so -- thanks for -- thanks for ruining it, blogs. ali and roberto are here with us tonight. [ applause ] unusual thing. s

with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live ♪ >> and now, all of a sudden here is jimmy kimmelcome to the sthoe. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the program. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. a number of vacationers in our audience tonight. mostly people who were too cheap to go to disney land but we'll take it. i promise, i can make you throw up just as easily as space mountain. we have winos from baltimore here tonight. summer is -- i'm sad to say summer is slipping away. my niece and nephew started school today, which is it's tearability. barely even august. they live in arizona so i guess they wanted to get the kids back in school when the playground was 150 degrees. even shark week is over. shark week ended -- really? shark week has been getting huge ratings for the discovery channel for many years now. and apparently they're trying to duplicate it or something, but i don't think the new week they came up with has quite the same punch. >> if you thought shark week was scary, you ain't seen nothing yet. get ready for a whole new kind of terror. >> ah! >> clam week. o

. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> take me, guillermo, i'm yours! do with me what you will! >> okay. >> jimmy: what is it like looking like you do? you don't get an honest reaction from anybody. >> you should see me before 8:00 a.m. >> jimmy: really? >> well, that's not an invitation. jg right, no, believe me. i want to wish happy birthday to barack obama. republicans tried to block his birthday in the senate today but they didn't have enough votes and so it went through. >> do you know where barack obama was born? >> i know. in a cabin. >> jimmy: callan mcauliffe. >> this movie, you have an australian accident? >> i don't. i do american. >> jimmy: and how do you learn to do that? >> i guess every country needs another country to make fun of. >> jimmy: the black crowes. ♪ >> dicky: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with e van mendes. callan mcauliffe. and music from the black crowes] what is performance? 0 to 60? or 60 to 0? [ tires screech ] the quarter mile, or a quarter century? is performance about the joy of driving? or the importance...

here's jimmy kimmel!ers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy, thank you for watching, thank you for coming. what a wonderful group of humans. i have to say, mono log might not be so hot tonight. friend of mine sent me a website that on the website, you go on, and you can, you can send a text message from one person's phone to another person's phone. so -- i -- i -- on my twitter page, i put what the link is. i've been doing this like, 1,000 times today. i did it to you, did you know that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i sent one from jonathan the drummer. did you know how it happened? : we had . >> cleto: we had no idea. >> jimmy: it sent dicky like six of them. >> dicky: this is like a super power you shouldn't have. >> cleto: yeah, it's that good. >> jimmy: dicky's band has a gig here in hollywood tomorrow night at the house of blues and everyone has been driving him crazy for tickets here at the show. i sent a whole bunch of requests from a whole bunch of different people here at the show asking for tickets, fr

kimmel!and applause ] >> jimmy: that's very nice. thank you for being here. thank you for coming. thank you for watching. thanks for all you've done for me and for my family, too. i'm jimmy, i'll be your angry flight attendant this evening. a lot of people are talking about stephven slater the now former jetblue flight attendant who lost his nut after an altercation with a passenger. he cursed her out over the pa system. he grabbed two beers, slid down the emergency escape slide. which might be the greatest resignation ever. it's -- [ applause ] it's -- he's so good at quitting they're thinking about making him the next governor of alaska. they put him -- [ applause ] they put him in jail, which it could be the first time in history anyone has ever been sent to jail for going down an inflatable slide. he spent the night. he went in as a flight attendant, he came out a hero to millions of people who hate their jobs. >> tell me about what you think about the support you've gotten? >> it's been

now, in stylish new packs. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!"ight -- eva mendes. from "flipped," callan mcauliffe. and music from the black crowes. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, nice and easy. here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, cleto. i'm jimmy. thanks for watching. thanks for being in attendance. i want to wish happy birthday to your president, barack obama. republicans tried to block his birthday in the senate today, but they didn't have enough votes and so it went through, and -- president was able to turn 49 today, right on schedule. obama spent his birthday at home in chicago while michelle and sasha were in spain and malia is away at summer camp. oprah couldn't have come up with a better scenario if she planned it herself. rush limbaugh had an interesting take on the birthday. he say, they tell us august 4th is his birthday but we haven't seen any proof of that. and i know that sounds crazy -- it sounds about as crazy as trying to get the child proof cap off a bott

what's coming up next on "jimmy kimmel live." >> thanks tonight.a pinkett smith. from "bachelor pad," chris harrison, music from luke bryan, and a toddler named hitler. "jimmy kimmel live" is next. ♪ [ male announcer ] nature valley sweet & salty nut bars... they're made from whole roasted nuts and dipped in creamy peanut butter... ♪ ...making your craving for a sweet & salty bar... ♪ ..rresistible. by nature valley. ♪

. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel.the show tonight, christina applegate is with us and with child. comedian shane mauss is here. and hugh hefner will join us. there's a new documentary about his life coming out. there's hugh backstage. i'm concerned about him, because he's down to one girlfriend. he used to have, like, ten or something. and then the oil spill happened. damn you, bp. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes. you'll never go back to your old duster. [ funny voice ] hey, duster! wanna attract dust like swiffer 360 duster? then try the magnet hat! ♪ whoa! wow! [ female announcer ] sorry, duster, but swiffer 360 dusters attract dust with over 500,000 fibers and lock it away to clean better than a feather duster. swiffer's built smarter to clean better. ♪ she blinded me with science to finish what you started today. for the aches and sleeplessness in between, there's new motrin pm. no other medicine, not even advil pm, is more effective for pain and sleeplessness. new motrin pm. with a refreshing splash of 10

here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice of you. i'm jimmy.nk you for coming. thank you for watching. i knew you would come through for me. thank you. and i want to wish everyone a happy shark week. you know it's shark week on the discovery channel. am i the only one that thinks shark week is getting too commercial? it was about spending time with your family and seeing your family get eaten by sharks, things like that. every week my kids and i put on the shark costumes and we go door to door trick or treating for fish guts, and we have the best time. i don't know why it's in the summer. it makes you scared to go to the beach. shark week should be, like, the week after christmas or something. the fact of the matter is, shark attacks on humans are very rare. you are more likely to be attacked by charlie sheen than you are a shark. right uncle frank? >> that's true. >> jimmy: some how the discovery channel has manged to keep this thing going for 23 years now. and they've done it by mixing things up. there's only so much shark footage you can wat

first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next on "jimmy kimmel live." >> jimmy: thanks.tallone, levi johnston, music from buckcherry, "unnecessary censorship," and a water slide. "jimmy kimmel live" is next. ok. what if i just had a small slice? i was good today, i deserve it! or, i could have a medium slice and some celery sticks and they would ccel each other out, right? or...ok. i could ha one large slice and jog in place as i eat it or...ok. how about one large slice while jogging in place followed by eight celery... mmm raspberrcheesecake... i have been thinking about this all day. wow, and you've lost weight! oh yeah, you're welcome. thank you! [ female announcer ] yop. with 30 delicious flavors yoplait. it is so good.

but first, jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next on. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live." >> jimmy: tonight, our guests are melissa rycroft, music from saving abel, and ice cube. the man, not the frozen block of water. "jimmy kimmel live" is next. i have fallen in love with making bird houses. caw caw! [ director ]what is that? that's a horrible crow. here are some things that i'll make as little portals for my bird friends. honestly, i'd love to do this for the rest of myife so i have to take care of myself. [ male announcer ] to kp doing what y love, keep your heart healthy. cheerios can help. the whole grain oats can help lower cholesterol. [ bob ] makes you feel ageless. brrrbb! [ male announcer ] it's simple, love your heart so you can do what you love. what do you love? see how cheerios can help you do it. [ bob ] squak! ♪ [ female announcer ] why choose between delicious or 100 calories? ♪ with yoplait delights, now you can finally have both. ♪ it's the perfect parfait, with two indulgently rich layers of chocolate and raspberry yogurt and only 100 calories. yoplait delights. get rid

jimre's jimmy kimmel!plause ] >> jimmy: thajs for coming. thank you for watching. i'm jimmy. but you can call me by nigh jersey shore name dj sweetmeat. what an episode sof jersey shore tonight. instead of going out to get drunk, the gang decided to stay home and play scrabble. no, they went out and get draung, but they actually did stay home and play a game, a game called bowl of questions. they put a bunch of questions like, have you ever cheated on your girlfriend, in a bowl and they answer them and fight. things are getting dramatic in miami. tonight, snooki's boyfriend from back home called to let her know he had sex with another girl. she was not happy about it. despite the fact that last week she seemed to have had sex with one of the men in the house. >> whatever bye, peace. [ bleep ] you. >> oh, my god. [ bleep ] that. >> did he hang up on you? >> he wants to date other girls, go ahead. guys are douche bags and i hate them all. they don't know how to deal with women, and that's why i feel the lesb

jimmy kimmel!ers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm charmed by that, thank you. thank you for being here. thank you for watching. thank you for your generous contributions. i'm jim, as in jim tan laundry. that is me that they're talking about. after six months of breathless anticipation, america returned to the jersey shore, which, like lebron james, has been relocated to miami. and none of the people on it are from new jersey and it is new in miami, so it doesn't make sense, but i guess as long as there's techno music and a quiet place to vomit, the jersey shore can really be anywhere. it's a state of mind, if you will. i noticed today that the show isn't in hd, which is weird. it's in vd, this show. [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] but not in hd. this season, they brought angelina back. angelina was on the first season but got kicked out. and then, after she was kicked out, she bad-mouthed the other girls in interviews. so, naturally, mtv brought her back and surprised -- everyone is getting along really well

"jimmy kimmel live" is next. [ fema announcer ] this is a strawberry pop tart.t this is warm, fresh-baked strawberry toaster strudel. [ music ] see the difference? pillsbury toaster strudel, the one kids want to eat. ♪ whoa! do you know what our favorite part of shooting hoops is? 3...2...1... overtime! ♪ ♪ we're the kids in america ♪ oh, oh, oh you don't love me anymore do you billy? what? i didn't buy this cereal to sweet talk your taste buds it's for my heart health. so i can't have any? if you can deprive me of what can help lower my cholesterol... and live with yourself. right. mmm, i worry about your mother. cry herself to sleep every night over my arteries, but have yourself a bowl. good speech dad. [ whimper ] [ male announcer ] honey nut cheerios tastes great and its whole grain oats can help lower cholesterol. bee happy. bee healthy.

but first, jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next on abc. >> jimmy: thanks, cynthia.ht, justin long, jeweliest lewis, music from five finger death punch, and the cruel vengeance of an angry justin bieber. "jimmy kimmel live" is next. [ wind howling ] [ male announcer ] it balances you... [ water crashing ] [ male announcer ] ...it fills you with energy... and it gives you what you're looking for to live a more natural life, in a convenient two bar pack. this is nature valley... delicious granola bars made with 100% natural ingredients. nature valley. 100% natural, 100% delicious. rich fudge over a warm, chocolate brownie like nothing you've ever had before ready made sweet moments in the refrigerated section [ female announcer ] within every pillsbury package is the power to enrich a child's mind. collect pillsbury double box tops for education today.

but first, here is jimmy kimmel with what is coming up next on abc. >> thanks, cynthia.ight, sharon osbourne, music from truth and salvage company, eggs, and t.i., or should i say magnum t.i., jimmy kimmel live is next.h@h@ since i've been doing roller derby for the last thr years, i'm more brash, more confident and i love this. can i use my hands? is that alright? i take good care of my body and i do it so i can do this. [ male announcer ] to keep doing what you love, keep yr heart healthy. cheerios can help. the whole grain oats can help lower cholesterol. i, i want to be doing roller derby until i break a hip. and then i'll do it for a little bit longer. hahaha.

first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next on "jimmy kimmel live." jimmy?mmy: tonight, lisa ling, music from rhymefest. i'm going to attempt to look into zac e e e e e e e e e e e e [ wind howling ] [ male announcer ] it balances you... [ water crashing ] [ male announcer ] ...it fills you with energy... and it gives you what you're looking for to live a more natural life, in a convenient two bar pack. this is nature valley... delicious granola bars made with 100% natural ingredients. nature valley. 100% natural, 100% delicious.

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first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next on abc. >> tonight, jerry o'connell, carla gugine music from brett f t.i., brett favre retires again f t.i., brett favre retires again and ameri love my curves. but the love i have for rawberry shortcake, red velvet cake and key lime pie, mmm, it threw a curve at my curves. so i threw it right back... with yoplait light -- strawberry shortcake, red velvet cake and key lime pie. 30ndulgent delicious flavors that satisfy my love for tasty treats. ound 100 calories. zero fat. now i love my curves in all the right places. yoplait. it is so good. they had 30 people and an idea. meg's job was to make it happen. it took leadership. focus. and the ability to bring people together. meg whitman delivered. named one of america's best ceo's by harvard business review, she grew ebay 15,000 strong and made small business dreams come true. now meg has a plan to create jobs.

. >> this morning, we give the final word to jimmy kimmel. >> speaking of helmet hair, former illinoisod blagojevich is a relatively happy man today. a jury in chicago convicted him on 1 of the 24 counts against him. transporting illegally silky hair across state lines. the district attorney says they will try him again. blagojevich says he will appeal the charge that they got him on. it was the same crime as martha stewart. he'll probably do somewhere between lindsay lohan and li'l wayne. so -- can you imagine rod blagojevich in a prison jump suit? he would look like a traffic cone with a koosh ball on top of it. >> of course, now, the world is wondering how this will impact the elections come november. >> uh-huh. >> ha lot of republicans looking at that. saying it could be a sign of things to come. >> with a retrial in the works now. we'll see where it goes. it will be interesting for sure. >> and he's given us a lot of laughs from the late-night comingics, to say the least. >>> that's maets making news on

here is jimmy kimmel first. >>> thanks, and welcome, bill.pinkett smith, from bachelor pad, chris harrison, and a [ female announcer ] introducing pillsbury sweet moments bite-sized brownies layers of brownie and caramel, dipped in chocolate ready to eat sweet moments new from pillsbury. in the refrigerated section [ female announcer ] within every pillsbury package is the per to enrich a child's mind. collect pillsbury double box tops for education today. ♪ ye ♪ look, they fit! oh my gosh, are those the jeans from last year? how'd you do it? simple stuff... eating right...whole grain. whole grain? [ female announcer ] people who eat more whole grain tend to have healthier body weights. multigrain cheerios has five whole grains and 110 lightly sweetened calories. more grains. less you! multigrain cheerios. and eating well means getting enough whole grain and calcium. and general mills big g kid cereals can help. did you know it's the only leading line of kid cereals with at least 8 grams of whole grain and a good source of calcium? cereals th

you're sitting in the precinct phenomenon all right be ready for the discussion here going on jimmy kimmel jump in here thing after a short break we'll continue our discussion on globalization stay with r.t. . if you. want. to fill in the military because i thought that it was my duty that it was something that i could do to help my country i believe my government that is necessary for america to vietnam it was a lot of drug abuse there was a lot of murder of american officers and soldiers there a lot of lives we've seen. by. these rules of war i always thought i wanted to win a lot of medals and they do have a lot of desperation. but afterwards i realize that they they don't mean anything there's not that important. i don't i don't i never kept the medal. every month we give you the future we help you understand how to get there and we want to bring the best in science and technology from across russia and around the world join us acknowledging update on our g. c. welcome back to cross talk computor lobo to remind you we're talking about how the process of globalization has changed since

firs first, jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. >> thanks.onight, eva mendes, callan mcom tonight, eva mendes, callan mcom south of laredo, there's a place... gotta cross an ocean of scorpion-covered earth. so hot, rattlesnakes... combust, spontaneously. we're drawn like moths to a flaming jalapeÑo. but, you gotta eat bold, know what i'm sayin. [ male announcer ] subway has turned up the heat! introducing subway fiery footlong subs. the hot new turkey jalapeño melt and bold-acious buffalo chicken. eat bold! [ biker ] subway fiery footlong subs, burn the wimp right outta ya. the most powerful half-ton crew in america has a powertrain backed for 100,000 miles. chevy silverado half-ton a consumers digest best buy and the most dependable, longest-lasting full-size pickups on the road. now get 0% apr for 72 months on 2010 silverado half-ton models with an average finance savings around $5,800.

"jimmy kimmel live" is next.

but first, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: thanks, cynthia.ema announcer ] this is a strawberry pop tart. but this is warm, fresh-baked strawberry toaster strudel. [ music ] see the difference? pillsbury toaster strudel, the one kids want to eat. ♪ whoa! do you know what our favorite part of shooting hoops is? 3...2...1... overtime! ♪ ♪ we're the kids in america ♪ oh, oh, oh

first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next on abc. >> tonight, shaquille o'neal, tennesseetorial candidate, and ali and roberto, assuming they haven't broken up. [ female announcer ] to do well, kids need to eat well. and eating well means getting enough whole grain and calcium. and general mills big g kid cereals can help. did you know it's the only leading line of kid cereals with at least 8 grams of whole grain and a good source of calcium? cereals they already love, like lucky charms and cinnamon toast crunch. give your kids more of what they need to be their best. grow up strong. with big g kid cereals. ♪ but this is warm, fresh-baked strawberry toaster strudel. [ music ] see the difference? pillsbury toaster strudel, the one kids want to eat. ♪ whoa! do you know what our favorite part of shooting hoops is? 3...2...1... overtime!

first, here's what's next on "jimmy kimmel live." >> tonight, gordon ramsay, jazz trumpeting from christianott and sophia vergara. let's do this. there's real will no reason forú ♪ [ female announcer ] yoplait's real fruit and the goodness of dairy... gives you a little slice of happy. and happess comes in 25 delicious flavors. explore them all. yoplait. it is so good. the yoplait you can't get enough of. now in a four pack. got the mirrors all adjusted? you can see everything ok? just stay off the freeways, all right? i don't want you going out on those yet. and leave your phone in your purse, i don't want you texting. >> daddy... ok! ok, here you go. be careful. >> thanks dad. >> and call me--but not while you're driving.

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. >>> we'll be right back, but first, jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next on abc. >> jimmy: tonight levi johnston, music from buckcherry, mccain and snooki back together again, "unnecessary censorship" and a [ male announcer ] when meg whitman arrived at ebay, they had 30 people and an idea. meg's job was to make it happen. it took leadership. focus. and the ability to bring people together. meg whitman delivered. named one of america's best ceo's by harvard business review, she grew ebay 15,000 strong and made small business dreams come true. now meg has a plan to create jobs. fix sacramento. and deliver results. meg whitman. for a new california.

but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next on abc. >> jimmy: tonight, dylan mcdermott. mary elizabeth winstead, music from flo rida, and all the news about bristol, levi, beeber, [ fele announcer ] this is a strawberry pop tart. but this is warm, fresh-baked strawberry toaster strudel [ music ] see the difference? pillsbury toaster strudel, the one kids want to eat. swimming is♪ y favorite thing. and only two things can get me out of the water. prunedoes... ♪ and totino's. ♪ we're the kids in america (announcer) we all want to stay active. we don't want anything... ...to slow us down. but even in your 30s... ...your bones can begin to change. overtime, you can begin to have bone loss. calcium and vitamin d work together to help keep your bones strong. and yoplait gives you... ...20% of your daily calcium... ...and is the only leading yogurt with vitamin d in every cup. keep your bones strong every day... ...with yoplait.

but first, here's jimmy kimmel. >> tonight, christina applegate, comedian shawn maust and hugh hefner here to invite us all to move in with him in the mansion. to move in with him in the mansihow would i make school a beer place? field trips to the zoo! more basketballs. soccer balls. and a museum! [ growls ] more basketballs. soccer balls! more books. yeah. like just a ton of books. [ girl ] and boo about soft this. soft and slimy. [ female announcer ] now clip double box tops for education. from totino's pizza rolls and party pizzas. and make their school a better place. they had 30 people and an idea. meg's job was to make it happen. it took leadership. focus. and the ability to bring people together. meg whitman delivered. named one of america's best ceo's by harvard business review, she grew ebay 15,000 strong and made small business dreams come true. now meg has a plan to create jobs. fix sacramento. and deliver results. meg whitman. for a new california. [ female announcer ] yoplait's real fruit and the goodness of dairy... gives you a little slice of happy. and happess comes i

last week on abc "jimmy kimmel live" he spoke about it. >> are you currently engaged to bristol?th the palin family? >> i think they kind of kicked me out. >> reporter: he also says he wants to run for mayor of wasilla, alaska a job that sarah palin herself once held. >> and you think you would be a good mayor? i think i would be the best mayor i can be come on. >> you don't sound convinced. >> i've got a lot of work to do you know. >> what are you going to do? how do you prepare to be mayer? >> surround with good people to give you great advice. >> reporter: he may not win as mayor, but he is a father. but he now has a very clear set of rules spelled out in court about how exactly he's expected to behave from now on. for "good morning america," neal karlinsky, abc news, seattle. >> we want to hear what you think about the story. go to abcnews.com/gma. have your say about bristol and levi on the shoutout board because they can't talk about it anymore. >>> coming up, look who is here rachael ray. he's cooking up the best. and the best way to get recipes lightning fast. hey, you gu