blue jays: bye-bye. they make me so mad, those guys. ( thunder rumbling ) and now it's raining. ( groans ) come on, peep. peep: hmm... hey, chirp, look at that. it's floating right to the top. peep, bend down. what? why? ow! hold on... wait... i've got it! oh, no! oh, no! ( both groan ) there it is! hooray! hooray! hooray! whoo-hoo! yeah! cusack: and so the afternoon wore on. peep and chirp played kickball while quack dreamt about his favorite thing-- ducks-- until... hey, it's quack. shh, he's asleep. really? you think? hey, quack, are you asleep?! what are you doing? hey, go away! be gone. leave the duck alone. hey, that feels great. you try it, quack. ( quack sputters ) give me my hat. blue jay: in a minute. two. in two minutes. three. blue jays: in three minutes we'll give it back. stop it. chirp: go find some other duck to bother. okay, okay. we were just playing catch. here, catch. ( quack gasps, blue jay caws ) my hat! i'm ruined! i dropped it, and the wind took it... and threw it into the jar. ca

ain't no lie ♪ ♪ i want to see you out that door baby bye bye bye bye bye ♪ i don't wanna be a foolr player in your game for two ♪ ♪ you may hate me but it ain't no lie baby bye bye bye bye bitch ♪ [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. dan opsal and john macdonald put that together. >> steve: oh, god bless them. >> jimmy: you can't beat that, right there. [ cheers and applause ] talented people made that. obviously fans of 'n sync. let's see what's going on in d.c. the white house says president obama will not postpone his trip to asia in october even though the government is on track to run out of money and shut down next week. [ laughter ] and that's why he is still going to asia. obama said, "where do you think i'm gonna ask for the money dumbass?" [ laughter and applause ] trust me! did you guys hear about this? there were reports that o.j. simpson was recently caught stealing cookies from the cafeteria -- [ laughter ] the report said o.j. simpson was recently caught stealing cookies from the cafeteria of his nevada prison. but simpson said he did not steal the cookies,

girl: bye.

bye! bye-bye, super readers! goodbye! why-flyers! back to the book club!uper story answer! [ ♪ ] read the letters with me! our super story answer is "use your words". [ triumphant ♪ ] but... why? red: because when beast talked and used his words, he was able to tell beauty how he felt. so my question is: what can i do to help my friend wolfy? and the answer is: all: use your words! i need to tell wolfy to use his words so he can tell me why he's upset. yes, that's it! thank you, super readers. come on! [ ♪ ] [ howling growl ] wolfy! i want you to use your words instead of your growls to tell me what's wrong. [ inquisitive growl ] instead of grr-ing, please use your words. grr... okay. i'm mad because my kite is stuck in this tree! that's what you were growling about? yes! you didn't know? no, but now i do, because you used your words to tell me. now i can try to help you get your kite down! [ gasp ] [ laughter ] come on, give me a hand. [ grunt ] reach! got it! yeah. oh wow! thank you, princess pea, thank you so much! [ laughter/hooting ] yay! finally! hip

oh harrison, that is so very sweet of you, uh huh, me too, bye bye now.im down for eight hundred dollars. i have been editing tape for two hours now trying to make carlson sound like a reasonably intelligent guy. yes, and? the television station just called and the debate is a go. terrific. tomorrow night the people of this town see the real me, i have a position on every issue. come on, ask me something, go ahead, anybody. uh, johnny. whats your position on abortion, welfare, and marijuana reform? no comment. laughter diffrent strokes: you seem to draw a blank on anything that happened in 1975. would you just get off my case danny? danny, you better get off his case before the books start flying south for the winter. i dig, okay, lets put the books away for the day. hey danny, if you dont teach me, how am i gonna get back on the basketball team? hey, i didnt say we were through learning for the day, there are other ways to open up a guys head willis. yeah, you could hit him with a rock. im gonna take you two on a field trip. oh man! we are gonna see a li

good-bye! because i'm goin' to green island ♪ ♪ i'm rhymin' "smilin'" and "island" ♪ ♪ i'm just too happy to be caring. ♪ oh! ( humming ) he can swim like a duck, but he sings like one, too. i wish i could swim like that. look at him go, just like a boat. ( sighs ) hmm... chirp: peep... i know what you're thinking. we could both go in that boat! forget it. i don't feel safe in any water that's not a birdbath. cusack: but peep, being peep, couldn't forget it. ( peep groaning ) whoa! cusack: on that day, peep became the first small, round, yellow ship's captain in history. ( whistling "sailor's hornpipe" badly )

bye bye. s es >>> gracias por capa desmarns, en este vieron 20 de septiembre.por fin es viernes. >>> y estas son las noticias. >>> el panorama en el estado de guerrero es desolador recorrimos vÍa aÉrea con nuestras cÁmaras, algunas de las Áreas mas afectadas la caÍda de un puente deja incomunicada varias poblaciones. muchos perdieron sus hogares en esos lugares. mÁs artistas se unen a la causa en mÉxico. hoy lo hizo la familia de la desaparecida jenni rivera. inmigrantes indocumentados reaccionan con frustraciÓn con el retiro de negociadores republicanos en la cÁmara de representantes. comienza la ediciÓn nocturna. ♪

bye-bye! see you soon. "the electric company" is brought to you by...

super readers: bye! bye, princesses! bye, king! bye, super readers! hope you come back soon!uper computer, give us our super story answer. [ electronic beeps ] read with me. the super story answer is... [ triumphant ♪ ] but why? red: the princesses couldn't tell the king where they were going each night because they were planning a surprise. so my question is: why is my family being so sneaky? and your answer is: super readers: surprise! do you think my family might be planning a surprise for me? let's get back to my house! [ ♪ ] mom? dad? jack? hmm. i wonder where everyone went? mom: [ quiet ] shh! up here? no. under... here? nope. well, that's strange. i wonder where everybody could be? jack: shh! here he comes! family: surprise! [ ♪ ] happy birthday, whyatt! it's a surprise party for you! wow! but my birthday's not until tomorrow. yeah! and that, son, is why we surprised you with a party today. so that's why my family was being so sneaky. hey, whyatt, blow out the candles and make a wish. okay! blow out the candles with me and then you can make a wish, too! one, two, three

week, an early bye week already. but bruce, you saw a lot of offense. we're going to talk about defense as it was a big part of the win here today, and they were able to rally. >> yes, you've got to be worried. >> they are feeling it next week that they're in trouble as they are rough right now. >> all right, thanks a lot. >>> the early morning crash in fairfax county leaves one man dead, two other people hurt, including a pregnant woman. it happened early this morning on the fairfax county parkway. police say the 44-year-old abraham arragon was driving the wrong way on the parkway when he struck a toyota avalon head on. the driver of the toyota and his pregnant wife were taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries. but the couple's baby was born prematurely and doctors deny saying that the infant, a girl is now in serious condition. >>> in chicago an argument between two friends escalates and ends with the suv crashing into the restaurant. it happened on the city's south side at r.j.'s chicken and fish.

bye, everyone. kids, you mind your father while i'm gone. love you. bye, mom. bye!ere's some money for groceries and a list of the kids' schedules. the fat man in charge for a week? he's going to be in over his head. like when he was a boxing coach. punch him! punch him again! punch him! punch him now! again! now you're getting punched! punch back! don't let him hit you! get out of the way! punch him! (bell clangs) you know what i'm going to tell you. i got to punch him... you got to punch him more. hey, you ever check joe's facebook? ugh, i know. awful. "hittin' cheesecake factory again. so amped." and then the symbol that means "wink." really? i mean, like, why... why the wink? i mean, is there... is there something that we're supposed to be in on? is he not going there? is he... is he not amped? and-and... and who cares if he is, you know? dick. coming up, our horribly outdated scams reporter, ken redowski, gets angry about a product you don't care about. digital bathroom scales! thanks, ken. this just in: there has been a confirmed outbreak of goat flu at james

bye-bye, see you soon. "the electric company" is brought to you by...merican greetings, proud sponsor of "the electric company." agreement from the u.s. department of education's ready to learn grant, and viewers like you, thank you. okay, here are your five words: record -- if you hold the record for something, it means you've done it better than anyone. possible -- if something is possible, it could happen. impossible -- if something is impossible, it can't be done. likely -- if something is likely, there is a good chance it will happen. most -- the biggest amount of something is the most. so we have: record, possible, impossible, most, and likely. watch out for them in today's show. this is it, the neighborhood record for the most pancakes in a single stack is 26. if hector ruiz can get one more pancake on that stack, he would have 27 pancakes! a new record. keith, show 'em. they say it can't be done. but they don't know my brother! c'mon, that's it. (crowd gasping) c'mon... yeah! (cheering) tuxedo pete says it's good! hector ruiz has made it to the

bye. oh. it sucks. >> yeah, this is way good. >> but even the sweetest dessert does little to take the edge off life at maricopa. a jail designed in the vision of one man who is determined to make it the toughest jail in america. >> why is everybody afraid to say, when you do something wrong, you should be punished? we provide the exact individualization >>> let's do this and get out of here. stay where you're at. >> you don't have no privacy. knock it off. >> go over to the table. >> carry on, ladies. carry on. put some clothes on. >> the special response team at the maricopa county jail in phoenix, arizona, launches surprise raids for drugs, weapons and other contraband on a frequent basis. >> hey, make sure you watch her. >> take those out. >> keeping life unpredictable and uncomfortable for the more than 9,000 inmates here is the expressed goal of the man who not only runs the jail, but whose vision has made it what it is. >> everybody decent here? >> he is the sheriff of maricopa county,

it takes me so long to say good-bye to everyone that i have to start over and say good-bye to everyone again. we need a socially acceptable way to say good-bye to everyone at a party at once. how great would it be if you wanted to leave if you fired a flare gun up in the air? the big winners were "breaking bad" won outstanding drama and "modern family". this show was up for four emmys. i believe we won zero of them. it might have even been fewer than that. but it's okay. i still have some of my health. it was a sad emmys broadcast. i think more than anything, they were a constant reminder that death is coming for us and there is no escaping from it. there is a lot of eulogizing. i knew we were in for a weird night when they passed out gift bags with zoloft. it was like a funeral with trophies. i hate the red carpet. i hate the award show preshows. it's just hours and hours of nothing. the e! network seems to have cornered the market on nothing. this might be the most advanced piece of red carpet technology. >> we have installed a beyond beyond high definition camera that will allow us

woman: bye! man: come back soon! see you next time! (laughs) yeah, bye! bye! hmm... thank you.y, i've booked your tickets for you. you leave tomorrow. yeah. i think we better stay here tonight. yes. a good night's rest will do her good. all right, love. you know, we still haven't gotten what you promised my father. can't we talk about this later? about what? oh, uh... nothing. we'll take care of it tomorrow. go up and take a bath. yeah, yeah. good night. -good night. -i'll be right back. hey. thanks for everything. hey, that's all right. i'm just glad everything worked out. hey, it means more to me than you'll ever know. -thanks, jackie. -good night. good night. come on. let's go. i'm still really worried about her. there's something about the way she was acting. she'll be okay. you know, for a while there, i was worried something might happen to you. is this gonna cost me? sorry. good night. you're kidding. you want to see the armor of god now? mmm-hmm. why don't we wait till tomorrow, all right? i want to see it now. all right, all right. i'll be right back, okay? (knocking)

bye-bye. come on! you love bread!o fresh-baked bread every night, or even once, you'd have a point. oh, like you're gonna make snow cones every day? actually, you probably will. ok. give it to me. i'll find room for it in the crap cabinet. hey, fella. this is your new home. welcome to counterville. this is mayor mcsink. uh, doug? i just found your old milk shake machine. oh. we're gonna have to move the toaster. captioning made possible by sony pictures television unwrap your paradise. soft, sweet coconut covered in rich, creamy chocolate. almond joy and mounds. unwrap paradise. eat right, not less. [ woman ] hi! this looks interesting! what's going on here? would you like to try some hot cereal? [ women ] sure! [ female announcer ] introducing special k nourish hot cereal. special k? wow! wow! [ female announcer ] made with superfoods... [ woman ] there's, uh, quinoa, barley. i can definitely taste the quinoa. good! i can't believe that's less than 200 calories. [ female announcer ] ...to help you truly shine. this i

next week they have a bye. when they come back they take on division rivals the dallas cowboys. >> that will be another "w." i want it now, people. >> two weeks to get ready for it. >> yes, and everyone is excited about the redskins' win, we've got jacqui back, the world is right. >> i love it when you come in off a good weekend like that. and the weather has been fantastic as well. been over a week, though, since we've had rainfall. we could use a little bit. it's quite a ways down in our seven-day forecast before we have any of that coming back into play. this morning we're dealing with dry conditions but we have a fair amount of cloudiness. 58 degrees is our temperature. you can see our dew point is 52. our winds are calm and they're going to be very light throughout the day today. temperatures outside of the city are a fair amount cooler, in the 40s, 48 in gaithersburg, 48 dulles, 54 in quantico, that's got to be an error in culpeper, you're not 34, it's 46 in winchester. satellite picture. two of the compo

bye-bye, stir. so long, sour. hello, happy.f the inmates inside the louisville metro department of corrections jail prefer living in dorm-style housing units where they can at least socialize and have access to tv. but anthony politi is happy to be housed alone in his cell and to occasionally chat with a neighbor. >> politi. what's up? you got a haircut. let me see. you ugly, man. >> i could not be in a room with 20, 30 people all day. that would drive me insane. you know, i'd end up hurting somebody or i'd make them hurt me. i just couldn't do it. >> politi is charged with murder and rape. but despite police claims that he confessed after he was arrested, politi says he has no recollection of the murder. >> how did the 40-year-old girl end up dead in your room, man? what happened? >> i don't know. somebody strangled her, they said. >> somebody strangled her, it weren't you? >> i don't remember. >> i would have been pissed if i came home and there was a dead body in my room. i'd have been pissed, man. >> well, from my past expe

bye-bye, stir. so long, sour. hello, happy.me to lick the lid again. ♪ >>> a trip to the monterey bay aquarium became extra special for a little girl. this is 9-year-old dakota wood and it's gone viral after her mom posted it online. a puffin showed preference for dakota. and it started prancing along with her as she ran back and front in pathe enclosure. >> jessica, there's something about animals and kids. you put them together in a video and sometimes magic happens. in this case, a horned puffin, the bird on the islands and the waters of the north pacific ocean. friends of a 9-year-old girl from los gatos. and what happens next is fun to watch. for 49 seconds. >> that puffin just started interacting with her. >> reporter: 9-year-old dakota wood ran around with a horned puffin bird. >> i went to the edge of the tank. and he decided to follow me. the puffin's following me, mom. >> reporter: dakota's mom seized the moment and captured it on video. >> i think it's the animal interacting so closely with humans. there's so many pe

there will be some clouds s from time to time.om bye-bye cold front. >> [laughter] >> ok.rning, allison. it's going to be a difficult ride right now trying to get from i. 97 on to route 32. two tractor trailers involvedr r with the accident blocking the ramp from southbound i. 97 on to route 32 alsoalso blocking the ramp to route 3 southbound so. that is a bit of a complication. the ramp from i. 97 to route 32 westbound is still closed pulitzer prize we'll heade' over to the other side of town. on the beltway in virginia northbound on the inner loopnner of the bellway northbound up near route 50 a broken downen vehicle in the right lane. a report north of that on the te george washington parkway itkway looks like it's going to be two left lanes closed right now with an accident. ac delays early on the inner loop northbound on 495. two separate incidents on your way from springfield tongfi the american legion bridge. on 270 looking pretty good. a little volume building down past the exit for 109 but not too bad.too as you continue before youefo get to the point where the la

good-bye, hassan. bye-bye. and thanks again for all your help. it was all very exciting. and, rosa, it was a great pleasure to have met you. good-bye, hassan. so, jess, what are you going to do now that all the excitement is over ? i don't know but it sure was fun while it lasted. there's going to be another election in less than a year. i'll think about it. but in the meantime, let's hope tom johansen does a decent job. yeah, it's about time this city had someone good on the council. oh, i'm not thinking about the city. i just got another water bill. closed-captioned by captions, inc. los angeles crossroads cafe is a series that teaches english... to speakers of other languages. for more information call toll free: funding for this program was provided by... every child ispecial. every child has needs. woman: change colors. but what do we do when we're faced with the challenge of working with children who because of physical or emotional or developmental problems require much more specialized, individualized attention than the other children in our care? woman: there you

oh, charlie, you came to say good-bye. unbelievable.y this all the way out to the end. play what out? all right. fine. we'll do it your way. rose, you're a terrific woman, i'm an idiot for not seeing it, and i really don't want you to leave. really? yeah. here, look. wow. see? oh, yeah. (horn honks) well, that's my cab. good-bye. wait. wait. what the hell are you doing? i'm leaving. don't you understand? you can drop the act. i give up. i surrender. you win, rose. i'm yours. oh, charlie, that's so sweet. but i know you, and you're just having a little panic attack because you're getting old and nobody loves you. see? you get me. i do, which is why i have to leave. good-bye, charlie. oh, i almost forgot. i thought you should have this. it's our first restraining order. look how shaky your signature was. you were so spooked. (horn honks) oop! got a plane to catch. oh, come on, rose! stop it! (car door closes) all right, fine. take your little cab ride. see you tomorrow. (car drives away) okay. maybe not tomorrow. aw, damn. hey, charlie. o

bye-bye, stir. so long, sour. hello, happy.n. ♪ - i don't know how i'm going to live here without you. - me neither. hey, will you put this coat on my chair? i just realized i'm not going to need it down there. - yes, i will take your coat and i will keep it with me. and i will sleep with it, because it smells like you. - no, no, no, no, just put it on my chair. - all right. - bye. - bye. - call me when you land. - i will. - safe travels. - good-bye. for a very, very long time. - hmm? okay. it's only three weeks. - all expenses paid. yeah, jim's going to be there. that marriage is not good. nobody knows better than me. definitely we will. it's three weeks in tallahassee. what else is there to do? [ mom ] in my family, so we just look for this g. 'cause general mills makes over 40 yummy flavors that are 130 calories or less per serving. and they're packed with vitamins and minerals. from lucky charms to cheerios. over 40 cereals. 130 calories or less. [ laughs ] ♪ [ female announcer ] hey ladies. you love it. you've got to have

bye-bye. ha! that's it. that's all. no more calls. we have a winner. we haven't slept in 3 nights. you know why the owners haven't showed up? because they're asleep, ray. we can't keep him. i love him. i love him like... an incredibly ugly son. listen, ray, i understand. believe me. i do. but, i mean, think about it, honey. i'm--i'm just swamped as it is, you know? uh, maybe when the kids are a little bit older. [knock on door] hello. you guys have any maalox or something? what's the matter, robert, did you eat something bad? i'm a cop, and i live with my parents. i'm on a steady diet of human suffering. whose dog? i found him. but we're getting rid of him. oh? robert? it's just that he... looks so familiar. get him the maalox. go get him the maalox. hello, puppy. hello, puppy. oh, yeah. where'd you learn to kiss like that, huh? what? what is it? you heard me. no, i'm not giving robert my dog. ray, it's a perfect match. he needs a dog, and we need not to have a dog. i want to have a dog. come on. we bonded. we have something special. what, more special than that? oh, give daddy som

[whistle blows] >> bye, dad! >> bye, arnie! have a great time. >> bye! >> argentinosaurus. >> argentinosaurus. >> that's right, this is an argentinosaurus, one of the largest animals ever to live on land. now, what's the biggest animal living on land today? >> an elephant. >> right. elephants are big, but argentinosaurus was about 100 feet long. that's as long as 5 elephants put together. an argentinosaurus weighed about as much as 20 elephants. now, that's a lot of dinosaur. and just like elephants do today, argentinosaurus must have eaten an amazing amount of plant food. paleontologists still wonder how argentinosaurus could have eaten enough food with such a small head. now, how do elephants reach high up into trees to find food? >> with their trunks. >> argentinosaurus didn't have a trunk, but it did have a long neck that it probably used to reach high into trees. and being such a gigantic animal, it probably spent most of the day just trying to find enough of the green stuff to keep itself going. ok, remember, get outside, get into nature, and make

bye, vicki. no, good-bye to you, jan-isssssss!ne you are my highest priority. so he's not going to be here tonight? no. i've cleverly disguised a pillow in my house as me. he's probably talking to it as we speak. what is going on between the two of you? why do you have to disguise a pillow if you don't want to have dinner with him? i know it's sick. oh, it's really sick. dick! oh, no. oh, no. oh, dick! i walked into your bedroom. i thought you'd stopped breathing. i wore myself out trying to revive you. and then i took a nap on you. then i awoke completely refreshed and ready for our evening. oh, say, i'll have what he's having. send hers back. it looks awful. i'm going to the rest room. i'm going to stand on the toilet and jump out the window. what's with her? all right, that's it. i may be a whale of a friend, but that doesn't entitle you to stick to me like a pathetic barnacle. i don't care about the problems you're having with your wife, your existential crises, or your inexplicable desire to befriend me. zap me to oblivion if

>> all right. >> say bye-bye. >> all right.ng him leave, when he asks me if i'm coming. like, what do you say to that? and the worst part is i have no idea when i'm coming. i can't say mama will be home soon or mama will be home tomorrow. like, i don't know. >> it hurts. it kills me. it kills her, too. he don't understand. >> i don't want to keep doing this. i don't want to keep hurting my family, my son, myself. for what? it's not worth it. >>> due to mature subject matter, viewer discretion is advised. >>> msnbc takes you behind the walls of america's most notorious prisons, into a world of chaos and danger. now the scenes you've never seen. "lockup: raw." >> i think it would be inaccurate to say there is never a dull moment in prison. actually there's plenty of dull moments in prison. it's just that all that monotony is broken up with moments of sheer terror. there's a lot of bottled up negative energy in prison, and as the lockup crews have found

bye bye. >> pelley: tonight, countdown to a shutdown. only hours left before congress shuts down much of the federal government in a dispute over obamacare. >> we're at the brink. >> pelley: nancy cordes is at the capital, major garrett with the president, bob schieffer's insaoeug and people who would lose their paychecks. >> everyone else is supposed to get along. why can't they? i am very angry about it. >> pelley: what's behind the recent whooping cough outbreaks? bill whitaker has the answer in california. and they "ought a" know better. john black stone shows us what happens when humans tried to show otters how to survive. >> we're not very good sea otters. we're not only not that cute but we just can't do what they do. captioning sponsored by cbs this is the "cbs evening news" with scott pelley.

bye-bye! - do you know "rainbow connection"? - ha ha ha! more at pncgrowupgreat.com. celebrate his year of discoveries... celebrate his imagination running wild... these special moments will be remembered for years to come. party city is proud to support sesame street and celebrating life's special moments. female announcer: every day can be filled with rainbows when you eat healthy fruits and vegetables. proud sponsor of sesame street, united healthcare: helping people live healthier lives. >> woman: when children learn to connect the little things, they begin to see a bigger picture-- that spending quality time with those who matter most makes us happier and healthier. beaches family resorts is a proud sponsor of sesame street. "sesame street" is also brought to you by earth's best organic, the corporation for public broadcasting, and viewers like you... captioning made possible by sesame workshop captioned by the national captioning institute --www.ncicap.org-- - go to pbskids.org to visit your "sesame street" friends for videos, games,

bye. oh. it sucks. >> yeah, this is way good. >> but even the sweetest dessert does little to take the edge off life at maricopa. a jail designed in the vision of one man who is determined to make it the toughest jail in america. >> why is everybody afraid to say, when you do something wrong, you should be punished? and then another. and another. and if you do it. and your friends do it. and their friends do it... soon we'll be walking our way to awareness, support and an end to alzheimer's disease. and that? that would be big. grab your friends and family and start a team today. register at alz.org ♪ and i'll never desert you ♪ ♪ i'll stand by you yeaaaah! yeah. so that's our loyalty program. you're automatically enrolled, and the longer you stay, the more rewards you get. great! oh! ♪ i'll stand by you ♪ won't let nobody hurt you ♪ isn't there a simpler way to explain the loyalty program? yes. standing by you from day one. now, that's progressive. i just served my mother-in-law your chicken

bye-bye! (cackling) hector... hey you guys! ♪ ♪ come on, feel the power feel the power ♪ ♪ feel the power, yo and plug it in! ♪ ♪ it's electric... electric company ♪ ♪ get connected... electric company ♪ ♪ it's electric... electric company ♪ yo, yo, yo! ♪ the power we perfected is electrically connected ♪ ♪ so use it as directed and except to be respected ♪ ♪ just turn it on and you will see ♪ ♪ that you belong in the company ♪ ♪ feel the power feel the power ♪ ♪ yo, and plug it in ♪ plug it in...everybody ♪ electric company! electric company! ♪ ♪ electric company! there's one lunch that i love the most, lettuce and cheese on a seven-grain toast. add a little mustard, put it on a plate, and you have a lunch that's good... no, you have a lunch that's great. oh, alright! eh! that's not a valid limerick, jess. what? i don't understand why it's invalid? ok, limericks have their own rules and patterns and you have to know those first before you can make a limerick. why do you know so much about limericks? i don't want to talk about

. >> bye, colonel. save me some pizza! >> all right. bye, cora. young man, you seriously need to consider another career choice. >> i came by to thank you for the advice. i'm gonna take you up on it. you, sir, are a wise and generous man. and, uh, i bought you a double-cheese cheeseburger pizza. >> oh. >> they gave me the employee discount before i got fired. >> oh. so you gonna join the marines like your father, huh? >> my dad's gonna be proud. >> [ chuckles ] you know, i remember when i enlisted -- kicking butt and taking names. [ chuckles ] >> you ever lose a man? >> oh, no, no, no. you never leave a man behind. your father can tell you the same thing. >> my father died in the gulf war. >> oh. i'm sorry to hear that. >> this is him. right here on the end. >> private darryl phillips. >> private darryl phillips. you recognize the guy next to him? >> that's... >> that's you. major cleophus jackson! two tours in vietnam, promoted to colonel in 1983, retired 1992... widower, one daughter, karen, and... the man who let my father die. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ female

bye week comes when the bye week comes. >> you can use excuses.the end of the day, we have a chance to heal up a little bit. we have a couple of guys banged up which is a positive for us. when you take a look at four pre-season games and four regular season games going in the right direction, we can come back, healthy and we know where we are at in nfc east and starts the season all over again. >> reporter: yesterday in oakland seven sacks in all, arguably biggest play, 45 yard interception for rookie david amerson and offense came alive in the second half, rg3 for the go ahead touchdown and junior subbing out, 14 yard score seals the deal, skins get the first win 24-14, shawn, one, i asked roy about the pronounciation of his last name. he says it is four letter helu. two, think of this, the dallas cowboys in first place, play undefeated broncos, when the redskins play the cowboys, if they win they are in first place, from the outhouse to the penthouse in the nfc east. >> both fingers cross, both legs. >> reporter: everything. >> a lot of people h

good-bye. matter, viewer discretion is advised. >>> when they tried to beat the odds on the outside, they wound up on the inside. >> in the process of starting the fire my best friend ended up catching himself on fire and he died in the process. >> so they've taken on the roles of jailhouse preacher. >> no matter where we are we need to be serving god. >> poet. >> if i were a free man, i'd whisk you away. we'd be on the lam but on the way. >> and purveyor of pleasure. but now they're about to face the biggest gamble of their lives. >> if something is unjust and unfair, you have to fight. ♪ >> the maricopa county jail is divided between two distinct worlds, the first is an outdoor world. the jail is internationally famous for tent city, a cluster of outdoor housing yards for both men and women. >> ladies, fall in. i'm not talking to the fence, am i? >> life here sucks. i mean it's terrible. i don't even think this place should exist to be honest with you. >> but the vast majority of maricopa inm

>> bye, aliens! >> narrator: hooray for new friends! bye-bye! come back again soon.rought to you by... find your voice and share it, american greetings, proud sponsor of "the electric company." agreement from the u.s. department of education's ready to learn grant, and viewers like you, thank you. we interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for a special electric company shout-out from prankster planet! today's honorary electric company members are kylee, fastcheetah9, and supermileo... saving the day with a carrot nose. congratulations! both: thank you. but wait! we still need you! words on earth are being reversed! the stop signs are turning into pots signs! it's chaos, it's madness! it's my reverse-a-balls... no one can stop me! both: we will stop you! can the electric company stop francine and her reverse-a-balls? ♪ prankster planet! prankster planet! ♪ and now back to our regularly scheduled programming. ok, here are your five words: selected -- if you are selected to do something, it means you are chosen to do it. knowledge -- knowledge is all the things t

and robin says, yo, yo, yo, bye-bye, dog. thank you for all your commes.ment each day on my facebook and twitter pages. we'll be right back. keep it here. [ cheers and applause ] new almay cc cream is kind of a life changer. it covers, corrects, clarifies. one. it's my look good while doing good for my skin make-up. [ female announcer ] hey, ladies. you love it. you've gotta have it. 'cause that cinnamon and sugar is so irresistible. cinnamon toast crunch. crave those crazy squares.® [ cheers and applause ] >> wendy: i had the best time today. you know, my co-host, my studio audience, thank you for being my beacon of light. [ cheers and applause ] i would invite you to join me if you have time in your schedule, we're here in new york. the tickets are free. and we're doing live shows through the end of july. so we are here for you. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow on the show, from the movie "peeples" kerry washington is here along with david alan grier. and we are going to put them both in the wendy hot seat. plus we've also good sexy guy candy tomorrow. i

. >> another good-bye today. friends and family said good- bye to john johnson. johnson was one of the 12 people killed in the navy yard massacre. he was remembered as an optimist and religious man with an infectious smile. scott broom has more from gaithersburg. >> i'm scott broom in gaithersburg where today the family of navy yard shooting victim, j.j. johnson said they bare no ill will toward the navy yard attacker. johnson was a career logistics analyst who could have retired, but he wouldn't. he was renowned for giving big bear hugs. >> they loved him. >> johnson was the father of four adult daughters and nine grandchildren. remarkably, his family insisted there be no ill will toward aaron alexis or his family. mourners imagined johnson would have hugged his killer. >> you get angry about it because it is senseless and then when you met a guy like john and you realize that john would be the kind of individual that would just put his arms around that guy. >> no ill will, that's what they said, no ill will. they are friends for us. >> johnson's funeral process

. >> bye bye. >>> miley's posing naked again. but now is she promoting drug use? >> we have the new video some believe is way over the line. i'm nancy o'dell. >> and i'm rob marciano. smoking what appears to be a joint. singing about getting high on a dangerous club drug. >> now is the video's producer miley's new man. >> why is miley trashing brooke shields in "rolling stone." >>> then lindsay lohan's mom in foreclosure and rolling up in a rolls. what happened at her dwi court date today? >>> the emmy stars the morning after. >> no makeup, hair let down. who got caught looking less than glam after tv's big night. >>> plus, tina fey's embarrassing emmy flash. the fallout today. >>> exclusive. >> i had no idea. >> heartbreaking. >> we're the only show on the "ncis" set for ziva's emotional good-bye. >> you have no choice. >> find out what i dug up about the top-secret story line. >> is the door open then for a cote return? >>> kate gosselin on her ex working as a waiter. >> i'm the kid's sole supporter. >> our new interview today. >> did jon hack into kate's comput

hope to see you tomorrow, bye-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

bye. [ surf music plays ] excuse me, sir. we have pepperoni pizza today.h. that's really good. really good. you'll love it. mmm. well, here, let me make another one, and we'll see -- here, let me see... mmm. yeah, that's good. that's -- that's even better. you can put anything on top of it. it doesn't have to be parmesan. oh. but it's good, really! see, watch. that's okay. you sure? it's delicious! you want to try? ♪ crazy ♪ i get to be crazy ♪ crazy hey. i got a question. yeah. i have a woman upstairs. i met her at a bar. she's waiting for me, and she keeps saying, "the carpet doesn't match the drapes." do you know what that means? it means her pubic hair doesn't match, uh, the rest of her body hair. oh. so she's not color-coordinated, then. is that the -- is that -- that's -- that's -- yeah. that's what you mean. that's the gist of it, but it's nothing to be scared of. it's always an adventure. hey. i'm not an interior decorator. neither am i. that makes two of us. right, right. don't keep her waiting. okay. thanks, pal. you're a classy guy. doorbusters

. >> bye, mom. bye, dad. >> you call your mom and dad if you need anything, ok?lling too much. day or night, we are sitting by the phone, waiting for you. >> ok. >> bye. >> hey, boy. [ chuckles ] >> my sweet, crazy mom. >> did you call me, baby? you need something? what is it? what'd you do? he called my name. >> he did not call you. [ siren wails ] [ tires screech ] for pain and swelling? apply cold therapy in the first 24 hours. but not just any cold. i only use new thermacare® cold wraps. targettemp technology delivers a consistent, therapeutic cold to stop pain and start healing. new thermacare® cold wraps. a better way to treat pain. if you like options, we've got lots of them. burger bites, boneless wings, potato skins, and more. choose any three for just $9.99 for a limited time. chili's triple dipper. more life happens here. could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. mmmhmmm...everybody knows that. well, did you know that old macdonald was a really bad speller? your word is...cow. cow. cow. c...o...w... ...e...i...e...i...o. [buzzer] dangnab

i miss you and love you, too. >> bye-bye.d of the day, i don't care when she does, what anybody says or any of it. i feel like, you know, it's -- just because she is lake my best friend and my lovejoy. it's like, why do i have to be your mama, why do i have to be there when i need you to be there. >> hi. >>> coming up -- >> look at the camera. >> a graduation. >> welcome to the dorm. >> a transfer. >> and conversion. lf a kick in the rear! v8 v-fusion plus energy. natural energy from green tea plus fruits and veggies. need a little kick? ooh! could've had a v8. in the juice aisle. need a little kick? ooh! [ female announcer ] some people like to pretend a flood could never happen to them. and that their homeowners insurance protects them. [ thunder crashes ] it doesn't. stop pretending. only flood insurance covers floods. ♪ visit floodsmart.gov/pretend to learn your risk. still running in the morning? yeah. getting your vegetables every day? when i can. [ bop ] [ male announcer ] could've had a v8. two full servings of vegeta

>> reporter: and while the country lays to rest a fallen hero his wife and three daughters say good bye to a man who they simply called dad. you can head to our website at cbsbaltimore.com for more information. >> thank you, christie. and a service was held for another victim of the navy yard shooting today. sylvia frazier from waldorf was 53 years old. >>> a pakistani teen shot last year is now a harvard university honoree. she was presented a humanitarian award for her bravery and powerful message. she spoke to the crowd about what this honor means to her. >> people consider themselves powerful just because of having guns this their hands, but i think i am powerful if i am empower myself with education and with knowledge. >> now, she originally wanted to be a doctor, but now she is leaning towards politics. she wants to continue her message of education and peace. >>> here at home baltimore county police identified three women charged with robbing a bank in essex. sky eye chopper 13 was over the scene yesterday afternoon. it happened at the baltimore county savings bank on eastern bou

bye bye. s es >>> gracias por capa desmarns, en este vieron 20 de septiembre.por fin es viernes. >>> y estas son las noticias. >>> el panorama en el estado de guerrero es desolador recorrimos vÍa aÉrea con nuestras cÁmaras, algunas de las Áreas mas afectadas la caÍda de un puente deja incomunicada varias poblaciones. muchos perdieron sus hogares en esos lugares. mÁs artistas se unen a la causa en mÉxico. hoy lo hizo la familia de la desaparecida jenni rivera. inmigrantes indocumentados reaccionan con frustraciÓn con el retiro de negociadores republicanos en la cÁmara de representantes. comienza la ediciÓn nocturna. ♪ fe es noticiero univisiÓn ediciÓn nocturna con ilia calderÓn y enrique acevedo. muy buenas noches bien ve thids esta ediciÓn nocturna de acapulco guerrero. >>> algo de calma luego de la tempestad esta noche de viernes a una semana se cumple una manÁ, del paso de la tormenta tropical manuel por las costas del pacÍfico mexicano y mucho se habla sobre la velocidad. por la que el gobierno reaccionÓ ante la crisis. sabe la velocidad que se atiende las n

bye, bye, bye. (risas) >>> gracias jomari goyzo.pamelas. >>> uno de los famosos personajes, para los que no la conocen, es del mexicano omar chaparro, que soÑaba conocerla, fue esta maÑana en "despierta amÉrica", como lo dijimos, se divirtieron mucho, me imagino que aprovechaste, y le diste algunos consejos, porque ya me enterÉ que va a ser la sustituta de "primer impacto." >>> sÍ, creo que serÁ perfecta, el personaje de licenciada pamela juanjo, una periodista, en "sabadazo". le mandamos un beso grande, un beso a la familia de "despierta amÉrica", que nos da la invitaciÓn, y a omar, que promociona la pelÍcula (nombre en inglÉs). >>> quÉ talento. >>> con jaime camil tambiÉn. >>> sÍ, de los personajes mÁs populares de "sabadazo". >>> sÍ, pamela juanjo, un beso a pamela tambiÉn. >>> como una transformaciÓn, veamos si jomari goyzo le hace una transformaciÓn. >>> buenas piernas tienes. >>> afeitaditas y todo? (risas) ya veremos. >>> mariano rivera se retiro, su equipo los fanÁticos le dicen adiÓs, imÁgenes emotivas a continuaciÓn en "pr

bye. and when you get up -- can i play? no! you don't even get football. [ male announcer ] when you've got 100% fiber optic fios, you get it. america's fastest, most reliable internet. it's the ultimate for downloading, streaming, and chatting. -- that guy all over the football field. thanks, joe. if the running backs don't start picking up the blitz, the quarterback is going to have a long night. is that your sister? look, are you trying to take my job? maybe. technology that lets you play with the big boys. call the verizon center for customers with disabilities that's powerful. at 800-974-6006 tty/v. >>> katy perry's suicide confession. >> what led the superstar to consider taking her life. i'm nancy o'dell. >> i'm rob marciano. ♪ you're going to hear me roar >>> lying on a bathroom floor asking herself, should i continue living? katy's new interview about her darkest days in tonight's top story. >>> then, the plunging necklines. the thigh-high slits. kim k. showing off her post-baby body. new video from paris. plus inside

bye-bye, stir. so long, sour. hello, happy. the lid again. ♪ i don't do any cleaning. i make dirt. ♪ very, very heavy. i'm not big enough or strong enough for this. there should be some way to make it easier. [ doorbell rings ] [ morty ] here's a box, babe. open it up. oh my goodness! what is a wetjet? some kind of a mopping device. there's a lot of dirt on here. morty, look at how easy it is. it's almost like dancing. [ both humming ] this is called the swiffer dance. [ both humming ] well, you wanted to play cards. we're playing cards. what do you got? a pair of 5s. ha ha ha ha. full house, jacks over 8s. ok, diamond jim, take it off. i'm cold. captioning made possible by talk productions captioned by captioneering your closed captioning resource i'm home. [ kids ] hi mom. [ male announcer ] of all the things that happen on your shiny surfaces, disinfecting has to be one of them. clorox disinfecting wipes. kills germs. dries clear. clorox [grumbling]g wipes. they're killing us. where's the escape hatch? i just don't know. it'

bye-bye. unbelievable. shhhhh! in our day, we didn't have u-verse high speed internet., our babysitter didn't have a million ways to serve mom up on a silver platter. we had to count sheep to fall asleep. and i always worried that i was creating an overcrowded sheep farm. in my head... never looked like that farmer took proper care of those sheep. too much? a little. [ male announcer ] connect all your wi-fi-enabled devices with u-verse high speed internet. rethink possible. >> announcer: it's "the tonight show with jay leno," featuring rickey minor and "the tonight show" band. tonight, jay welcomes -- from the new movie, "enough said," julia louis-dreyfus. ron paul. the music of little big town. "what's trending tomorrow." and now, jay leno! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: thank you very much! welcome to "the tonight show." well, this is -- [ cheers and applause ] thank you. thank you. thank you very much. here is a --