that's guillermo's baby's name, right, guillermo?> guillermo: right, yeah. >> jimmy: they cannot tweet about guillermo's baby. that's weird. at louisville, the list includes panties, bartles and james and gazongas. who still uses that word? maybe they're afraid that's a gateway word to sweater melons or something. i don't know who is using that word. maybe the guys that still drink bartles and james. is that still a thing? no gazongas allowed. but you can still say it at gonzaga university, just fyi. here an interesting new art form of which i was unaware. in fact, i think we just found snoop dogg's new favorite artist here. >> a painter in brazil is making an art out of smoking pot. at a studio in rio de janeiro. look at the images. fernando blows marijuana smoke into stencils. it takes him a week to do a single print. >>imimmy: gee, i wonder why that is. [ laughter ] a whole week. 38 bags of cool ranch doritos. little league world series is under way in williamsport, pennsylvania, this week. espn is airing it. they have a fun littl

>> guillermo, guillermo, guillermo! >> ha-ha-ha. i have to tell you something -- >> what?ew there was a camera right there. the tequila -- so [ bleep ] you guys. [ cheers a applause ] >> so how many -- how drunk are you right now on a scale of uno to dias? >> 7 1/2. >> jimmy: that's all. 16 shots. you are at 7 1/2. >> i had a chicken burrito and a cheesecake. >> jimmy: what? >> a piece of cheesecake. >> jimmy: that soaked it up? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right. keep an eye on him. [ cheers and applause ] tonight -- snoop dogg has an interesting new project. snoop dogg announced he will release a reggae album later this year. in related news, the world will be expected to run out of marijuana later this year. i guess it was a statistical inevitablility he would produce one reggae album, the album will be called "reincarnated" not releasing it under snoop dogg. for this one he is calling himself snoop lion. snoop lion sounds like the name of a stoner grocery store or something. dude, let's go to the snoop lion and grab some pizza curls. the first single is out now called "la-la

. >> jimmy: let's get guillermo up here. guillermo, you're mexican. come check this out. >> okay. we have our thing here. you want to turn -- >> jimmy: turn them over. they look nice. >> beautiful. okay. now, i'm going to switch places with you here so i can get this guy up in here. >> jimmy: this is relatively simple, true? >> super simple. and to tell you the truth, i made it for some friends last week, had a bunch of people over, went, i grow a lot of tomatoes, herbs, i whip this kind of thing up. everybody loves to have grilled tuna or any other kind of fish. >> jimmy: that is nice. >> so, we have our salsa here. >> jimmy: nice and rare. guillermo, do you like fish? >> yes, i do. >> rare tuna? >> yeah. >> guillermo likes balloons. >> i like everything. i like everything. >> jimmy: guillermo, give that a try and i'm going to try it, also. i want to grab the book here and tell people, again, it's "frontera: margaritas, guacamoles and snacks," comes out in october. you can find recipes on jimmykimmellive.com. what do you think, guillermo? >> wow. >> jimmy: what do you think? be h

guillermo has been trying to trademark it. >>. >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: you've had a difficult timeit. >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: you believe it to be your intellectual property. what is the word? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: the word is yes? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: what is name your favorite character from "fuel house"? >> guillermo: oh, uncle yes, siree. >> jimmy: in comphien that, there's a popular new garment, beach wear garment which is a bikini for your face. this is what they look like. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's called a face-kini. you can call something a face-kini that is already called a ski mask? they protect your face and head. they're also good for robbing underwater banks. here's another one. i don't know. if you're concerned about protecting your face, just stay home. if i was the sun, i'd burn you extra for this. they even make them for kids. are we certain china hasn't been overtaken by an earless alien race? that would be less creepy. i don't know what's scarier, that photo or that photo. i'm just going to say this once so we can move on. china is weird. a

guillermo, can we get a clue, please?guillermo: big mustache. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, we saw the mustache. but give me another clue. >> guillermo: big head. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. a big mustache and a big head. okay. oh, maybe, it's supposed to be a bald guy? do we have any -- has anyone -- does anyone have any idea as to who it might be? tom selleck? how is that tom selleck? if it is, something terrible has happened to tom selleck. hmm. ron howard? no, no, he doesn't have a mustache. ron howard's brother, clint howard. that seems unlikely. huh? i don't know what you're talking about. [ laughter ] all right. well, let's see -- guillermo, can we have one more clue? >> guillermo: big eyes. >> jimmy: you've been very helpfu let's see who the celebrity is. and the celebrity is -- >> dr. phil. >> jimmy: dr. phil, how did you know i was going to get it wrong? thank you, dr. phil. >> jimmy: tonight on the show, jeffrey ross is here. we'll be back with david duchovny, so stick around. some places i go really aggra

. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel here with guillermo. little warm for a scarf, isn't it guillermo? >> it's a fashion statement. >> jimmy: i didn't think you were into fashion. >> yes, i'm not. >> jimmy: yes, you're not? okay. what are you doing, then? >> i'm trying to win a contest for ford fusion. you submit your worst fashion photos and if you win, ford gives you a trip to new york. >> jimmy: that sounds fun. can we see the photos you're submitting? >> yes jimmy, you can see my photos. let me show you. >> jimmy: what a kwuns dense, they're right here. okay, tell us -- this supposed to be bad fashion, right? that's the -- i think you actually look pretty good here. what's the problem? >> look at the neckline. it's a b-neck! nobody wears a b-neck, dumbass. >> jimmy: oh. all right. what is the fashion faux pas here? >> you can see my panties line. >> jimmy: oh yes. you're wearing panties? and this one -- you should probably have been arrested for this one. >> i know. sandals with socks. >> jimmy: you know what, guillermo? i think you have an excellent chance of winning this contest.

>> guillermo, guillermo, guillermo! >> ha-ha-ha. i have to tell you something -- >> what?as a camera right there. the tequila -- so [ bleep ] you guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> so how many -- how drunk are you right now on a scale of uno to dias? >> 7 1/2. >> jimmy: that's all. 16 shots. you are at 7 1/2. >> i had a chicken burrito and a cheesecake. >> jimmy: what? >> a piece of cheesecake. >> jimmy: that soaked it up? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right. keep an eye on him. [ cheers and applause ] tonight -- snoop dogg has an interesting new project. snoop dogg announced he will release a reggae album later this year. in related news, the world will be expected to run out of marijuana later this year. i guess it was a statistical inevitablility he would produce one reggae album, the album will be called "reincarnated" not releasing it under snoop dogg. for this one he is calling himself snoop lion. snoop lion sounds like the name of a stoner grocery store or something. dude, let's go to the snoop lion and grab some pizza curls. the first single is out now called "la-la-la." he

>> good-bye, guillermo! >> dickey: to check out more information on the player, go to samsung.com/us/galaxyplayers. "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with kyra sedgwick, joe and nick and music from josh doyle. [ male announcer ] cheers to michael phelps the greatest of all ti. great job, michael. you're an inspiration to us all. you are golden. [ male announcer ] celebrate michael's performance and dive into his fave, the subway® meatball marinara with a jalapeño kick. [ both ] subway. eat fresh. so i get claritin clear. this is all bayberry. bayberry pollen. very allergenic. non-drowsy claritin relieves my worst symptoms only claritin is proven to keep me as alert and focused as someone without allergies. live claritin clear. [ ball hitting paddle ] [ orbit girl ] don't let food hang around. yeah! [ orbit trumpet ] clean it up with orbit! [ orbit glint ] fabulous! for a good clean feeling. try new orbit micro packs. ♪[music plays]♪ ♪[music plays] ♪[music plays] >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy

it's so moist. >> guillermo: what? >> jimmy: tender. >> guillermo: okay. never journal again. >> jimmy: thanks, guillermo. you saved me. what was that for? >> guillermo: that was to make sure it doesn't never happen again. >> dicky: new moist and tender slim jim steakhouse strips -- they're steakier. try them in two flavors -- smokin' mesquite and kickin' carne asada. >> jimmy: excuse me, i'm stinging and i have a mouthful of jerky. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with jennifer garner, paul scheer and music from the fixx. ♪ new slim jim steakhouse strips. ♪ get him in the boat, we're losing him! take it! ♪ it's so moist. and? tender. ow. [ male announcer ] new moist & tender slim jim steakhouse strips. made from stuff guys need. by the way they clean themselves in the bathroom. try charmin ultra strong. with a new duraclean texture, it helps you get clean. plus it's four times stronger than the leading value brand. and you can use up to four times less. charmin ultra strong. more than 50 times a day? so brighten your smile a healthy way with lister

here now with the latest, our entertainment insider guillermo, with the randy report. >> hi, i'm guillermoith the latest on randy jackson. randy jackson is not going anywhere. back to you in hollywood! [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. not going anywhere. don't worry. i do feel bad for -- he must be having abandonment issues. first simon left, then, what, paula left, kara kara, ellen, nw steven and j. lo. is it possible that he smells? maybe they shouldn't bother to hire for judges.

guillermo. ♪ >> guillermo: oh, good evening! i'm guillermo, and here are this week's top stories.n monday, august 13th, the oreo daily twist headline was left handers day. for more on the story, eat cookies. [ laughter ] very good. next up -- today, "the oreo daily twist" was "elvis week." want to know more? too bad. time for another cookie. [ laughter ] mmmm. creamy. next. tomorrow, august 15th -- i don't know what happens tomorrow. i'm a newsman, not a psychic. that's all the news for now. it's time to leave me alone. back to you, dick. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: to see all the past "daily twists," or to submit your own idea for a twist, visit oreo.com/dailytwist. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with joseph gordon-levitt, rebel wilson and music from good old war. [ cheers and applause ] you'll inevitably find yourself on a desolate highway in your jeep grand cherokee. and when you do, you'll be grateful for the adaptive cruise control that automatically adjusts your speed when approaching slower traffic. and for the blind spot monitoring that helps re

[ cheers and applause ] and so are you, guillermo.em. >> that's great. >> jimmy: it will be great. our first guest tonight is a celebrated chef who combines a mastery of cuisine with a propensity for profanity. his new show is called "hotel hell." it airs monday nights on fox. please welcome chef gordon ramsay. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, gordon, i was watching the olympics, the closing ceremonies of the olympics. they had all the great stars from england. they had paul mccartney and the spice girls and mr. bean was out there playing the keyboard. >> yeah. >> jimmy: who was left off that list? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you. >> i know. >> jimmy: do you believe it's because you are a fox celebrity that nbc banned you from the -- [ laughter ] >> there was a suggestion, i could actually clear out the stadium in a very polite way. >> jimmy: that would be great. you come out and tell everyone to go the -- home. >> time up. now [ bleep ] off. [ applause ] it was an amazing ceremony. >> jimmy: it was. >> for a nation like britain, i mean

[ laughter ] anybody -- guillermo, can we get a clue?lebrity has yellow hair. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: anybody -- jessica simpson. oh, that's a good guess. is it jessica simpson? >> yeah! >> how do you guys know. >> i gave you so many clues. i don't know who else you could have thought this was. this is me, obviously. and this is the reason for my tears, the sloth. >> jimmy: oh, the sloth. >> and xoxo is a cheat. because your favorite show is "gossip girl." >> jimmy: kristen bell, and she doesn't have freckles. neither does jessica simpson. and that baby was actually a sloth. thank you for the clue, guillermo. very helpful. we have a good show for you tonight. the now-former bachelorette emily maynard and her fiance jef are here. we have music from the head and the heart. and we'll be right back with ben stiller, so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] start with a simple idea. think. drink coffee. hatch a design. kill the design. design something totally original. do it again. that's good. kick out the committees.

>> guillermo, guillermo, guillermo! >> ha-ha-ha. i have to tell you something -- >> what? was a camera right there. the tequila -- so [ bleep ] you guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> so how many -- how drunk ara you right now on a scale of uno to dias? >> 7 1/2. >> jimmy: that's all. 16 shots. you are at 7 1/2. >> i had a chicken burrito and a cheesecake. >> jimmy: what? >> a piece of cheesecake. >> jimmy: that soaked it up? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right. keep an eye on him. [ cheers and applause ] tonit -- snoop dogg has an interesting new project. snoop dogg announced he will release a reggae album later this year. in related news, the world will be expected to run out of marijuana later this year. i guess it was a statistical inevitablility he would produce one reggae album, the album will be called "reincarnated" not releasing it under snoop d for this one he is calling himself snoop lion. snoop lion sounds like the name of a stoner grocery store or something. dude, let's go to the snoop lion and grab some pizza curls. the first single is out now called "la-la-la." he sin

let's go to guillermo. guillermo? >> okay, let's take a look at the weather forecast to check on what the weather's going to be, okay? let me show you. in california, it's very, very hot. in texas, it's also very hot too. and michigan, it's very, very hot too. but here comes the good news, if you go to apple bees, the forecast tomorrow is fresh with a hundred percent chance of delicious. oh, look, here it comes now. mmmm. and that's what's going on here next. >> dicky: the new fresh flavors of summer, with choices like spinach salad starting at $9.99. see you tomorrow. jimmy kimmel live back in two minutes with wanda sykes, joel kina man, and music from serj tankian. [ male announcer ] here's the part you really care about. aven't even... the new lemon shrimp fettuccine tastes incredible. it's one of the new fresh flavors of summer, starting at just $9.99 at applebee's. see you tomorrow. my name is sunshine and i have three beautiful girls. i like taking advil® for a headache. it nips it in the bud. and i can be that

. >> vamos a ver como pinta para los próximos días, ahora vamos con guillermo quiroz, bienvenidos guillermoebe este sistema de alta presión y no solo trae calor, sino también de la humedad que viene hacia el desierto, así que si viene para las zonas altas, cuidado que pueden haber tormentas repentinas, sistema de alta presión, acá las advertencias, se mantienen al centro, al interior, temperaturas que hay ahora, alcanzando los 70° y mire que cerca de los 102° en stockton, modesto y temperaturas de los 2 dígitos, acá las temperaturas de los próximos 5 días, buenas condiciones para nosotros en el interior muy cercano a los 90°, más información al regresar. >> más rápido ni más profesional. fianzas aladdin. más grandes porque somos mejores. . >> yo te había dicho que brasil nunca le había ganado a una final a méxico, pero acá tenemos los detalles. >> muchas gracias y ¿qué tal? buenas tardes y esto es "acción deportiva" y como héroes fueron recibidos los nuevos chicos dorados del fútbol y hoy fabián, tena se presentaron en conferencia de prensa presumiendo las medallas de oro donde demostraron

guillermo rodriguez is here from the department planning to answer any questions. it provides an additional financing tool that helps property owners bridge the up- front capital cost barrier and it can help keep a new industry going after the expiration of the stimulus funds and the energy efficiency block grant program they are currently using to incentivize property owners to conduct energy efficiency of prince. i was going to ask guillermo or calvin -- >> thank you for your consideration of this measure. if you have any questions, we will be happy to answer them. i was thinking of bringing a bunch of cowboy hats. supervisor mar: next time. any questions, colleagues? is there anyone would like to speak from the public? seeing none, public comment is closed. colleagues, can we move this forward with a positive recommendation? thank you. ms. miller, is there any other business before us? >> no. supervisor mar: thank you, everyone. meeting adjourned.

guillermo, guillermo's been behaving very strangely since i sent him to see magic mike. so there.r. it's kind of a form letter that somali pirates send out after they take hostages. reuters got their hands on this. this is not a joke. this is real. it's a real letter that starts "to whom it may concern." subject, congratulations to the company/owner." typically, it's followed by good news, rarely do you get pirates used rusty automatic weapons to take your employees hostage. it says, having seen when my pirate action group, p.a.g., has control over your vessel, we are saying, welcome to jamal's pirate action group. i hope we get to meet jamal. and you have to follow by our law to return back to your vessel and crew safely. in order to fulfill my suggestion, you have to do every step, if you want to do it. otherwise, you will lose the vessel and crew because we have entitle to do everything if i do not oboy our regulations. i think jamal has been taking courses at the university of phoenix. [ applause ] it goes on, do not imagine that we are making to you intimidation, but we send