sports on abc jimmy kimmel, jane fonda and george conway have a great night jimmy kimmel. >>> jimmy kimmel, no talent. >> now i wouldn't do his show, terrible. jimmy kimmel's show is practically dead, nobody will watch him. his ratings are terrible. he's not a talented guy. i thought he was a lousy host. >> "jimmy kimmel live," tonight on abc. >> the boston network is abc. i think abc is a disgrace. abc is one of the worst. jimmy, i love you so much. >> lou: from hollywood, it's “jimmy kimmel live!” tonight -- jane fonda, george conway, and music from good neighbours. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. welcome. that's very nice. hi, there. thank you. my fellow americans, i'm jimmy kimmel, i'm the host short. thank you for joining us after the debate. all eyes from sea to shining sea were on the city of brotherly love tonight for the debate of the decade. vice president kamala harris versus former president donald trump. it was like watching the lorax debate the grinch tonight. [ laughter ] usually when donald trump

just jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: it is fun to go on a book tour with this. >> who reads the audio book, kristenl girl. >> and the other day, i went to a bookstore, i was really nervous to read it out loud to anyone other than my children. it was amazing to have all the kids be like, oh. a, why do you sound like and b, it's pretty great. >> jimmy: is george r.r. martin doing an event for you? >> i got literally the most random text ever texted to a human being, the writer of "game of thrones" saying i heard you had a childrens book coming out. can i moderate a panel with you about it. i said yes, but you know it's a children's book. i flew out to new mexico. >> jimmy: this happened already? >> it did. george was wonderful, asked me all about the book. i asked what it was like being george r.r. martin. a real back and forth. he said i know you have a memoir coming out, will you come back. yes. >> jimmy: you're writing an autobiography? >> i am. not sure how much more time i have, might as well get it done before it's too late. >> jimmy: you might be able to right two. >> i'll sign it for your kid

so stick around. >> lou: abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" y university of phoenix. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ get exclusive offers on select new volvo models. contact your volvo retailer to learn more. ♪ >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to our show tonight. a marvelously talented actress. her new movie is called “his three daughters.” elizabeth olsen is with us. [ cheering ] then later, one of the great american rock bands of all time, they have a new album called, "saviors.” green day from the snapdragon outdoor stage. [ cheering ] you can also see green day live on tour. they had a sold out show at sofi on saturday night. on wednesday, they are in phoenix, arizona. green day. we have a great, strong week of guests this week including george clooney, kristen bell, kaitlin olson, maisy stella, peter krause, jon hamm and music from glass animals, hozier and the smashing pumpkins. so these join us for all of that. [ cheering ] our first guest is so talented, he can act in a movie just with his voice, which makes sense because he's not so great to look at. s

and now, jimmy kimmel. ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, welcome, welcome. thank you.'m jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us after a rare and magical monday night of football here on our network, abc. where the lord god intended it to be on monday nights. remember when monday night football was only on abc? now it's everywhere. like chick-fil-a. you can get it anywhere you want. welcome to those who were too lazy to turn off the tv after tonight's 1-1 washington commanders took on the 0 and 2 cincinnati bengals. we get the best matchups! while most of america was going church and watching football over the weekend, donald trump was very busy truthing. here's a sampling of the subjects he covered -- oprah, who he's mad at because she hosted an event for kamala harris. "a long time ago, oprah winfrey asked me to do her last network television show. the final week of her show was a big deal, and it was my honor, with my family, to do it." that is untrue. he was not on her final show or her final week. he was on three and a half

“jimmy kimmel live.”ight -- billie eilish -- former congressman adam kinzinger -- and music from vance joy. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. thank you. welcome. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. i've returned from the woods. relax, please. i'm frightened. i am. well, that's very nice. i was on summer vacation. the summer i turned pretty. i am back. [ laughter ] i had a great summer. before we get into the show, i'd like to take a minute to thank the team at the beverly hills plastic surgery group for this. [ laughter ] the eyelids, the fillers, you nailed it again. the implants. [ laughter ] did you miss me guillermo? >> guillermo: of course, i love you, i missed you a lot. >> jimmy: you texted me one time during the summer. i missed you, too. i missed a lot this summer. joe biden dropped out. someone tried to shoot donald trump. gwyneth paltrow's friend diarrhea-d all over her guest room. it was nuts. we put together a quiz for those of you who wer

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. hi. i'm jimmy, i'm the host.nks for watching. thank you for coming. oh man, oh man, you picked a very good night to be here. this show tonight, by the end of the hour, i think you will agree, is the supermoon of television shows. george clooney, we already saw brad pitt, kaitlin olson, music from the smashing pumpkins, and we have one more tremendous surprise for you too. [ cheers and applause ] you won't be disappointed. speaking of smashed pumpkins -- you know, i'll get to trump later. [ laughter ] the big news last night was diddy got arrested. did you see this? this is definitely not a morning you want to wake up "feeling like p diddy." sean combs is in custody in new york where he was indicted on charges of sex trafficking and racketeering. according to prosecutors, p. was head of "a criminal super prize" that included, among other things, forced labor, kidnapping, bribery, and arson. he plead the not guilty today. his lawyer said "he's going to clear his name" and you know he has a lot of them to clear. [ l

but first, here's a look at what's ahead on jimmy kimmel live! ght after abc seven news here at 11, jimmy thanks, dan and ama. >> watch tonight or i'm going back to bed. >> and normally it's pretty serene and there's a lot of fishing. but this year was kind of off the hook. there was like a lot of dancing, you can't say off the hook at a fishing type situation grow the system, exploit the system. take mark farrell's record. after receiving the largest ethics fine in city history for breaking campaign laws. mark authorized a commission almost every year he was in office. he was even caught taking donations from people he would then appoint to commissions, including a felon convicted of bribery. san francisco's challenges demand urgency, not more of the same failed insiders. bounced from one doctor to the next. does it have to be like this? at kaiser permanente, we have a different kind of healthcare... so, how did you like doctor lum? ...where all of us work together for all that is you. from the campaign trail. harris got an assist today from opra

jimmy: i still feel it. i didn't "felt" it, i feel it. >> dr. kimmel>> jimmy: i was on a plane. it was a week after i got this honorary doctorate. [ laughter ] there was an old man in the seat in front of me. and he keeled over. and i swear to god, this is true. it was like a spirit airlines flight or something, i don't know. [ laughter ] the cabin was held together with duct tape. and they said, "is there a doctor on board?" and i just had this moment where i was like -- am i going to explain that it's an honorary doctorate? [ laughter ] instead, i decided to let someone else handle it. >> oh, opportunity was right there in your hands. >> jimmy: opportunity was there, i didn't want to have a death on my hands also. >> that's fair. >> jimmy: don johnson is the captain on the show. >> yes, he is. >> jimmy: it's funny to see him in the captain's uniform to start with. >> it's amazing. >> jimmy: he seems like he would be -- if i was on a show with an actor who'd been through a lot of stuff, don johnson would be in my top five guys i would want. >> for sur

but first, here's a look at what's ahead on jimmy kimmel live! night, jimmy is back from vacation right after abc seven news at 11. jimmy >> thanks, dan and ama. i'm back from summer break, and we have a lot to catch up on. how did you get so smart at 22 years old? i mean, i really feel like you had it figured out the first time i met you. >> all the talk where there was only one pediatrician to serve more than 10,000 children. daniel lurie said, i'm going to help. we opened a clinic for our most vulnerable children. i have worked shoulder to shoulder with him as we have brought solutions where people thought the problem was unsolvable. daniel doesn't take excuses. he holds himself accountable. and i know that he can do it for the city of san francisco. his parents and your families. the other families, the five other victims and their familie. >> second gentleman doug emhoff was among those who spoke tonight at a national vigil in washington for the six people killed over the weekend by hamas. as he mentioned, one of them was hersh goldberg-polin

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. cleto.uillermo, how are you? i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us at our headquarters here in hollywood. beautiful hollywood, california. the tmz tour bus capital of the world. [ laughter ] glad you're here. we're now 46 days away from donald trump claiming he won the election, whether he did or not. [ laughter ] kamala harris appears to have momentum. i think. the polls say she does. but they also say she doesn't. i don't know. a slate of new polls have been rolling out over the last few days. "the morning consult" says harris got a big bump from the debate, out to a six-point lead. whereas the "new york times"/siena college poll says she didn't get a big bump, and the race is tied. though that same poll says that while trump and harris are tied nationally, she's up four points in pennsylvania, which is a key swing state that could decide the election. but there's bad news too, because "the washington post" says she and trump are tied in penn

and first, a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live, right after abc seven news at 11.jimmy. >> thanks, dan. and ama. watch tonight or we're done. you are not martin lawrence. you are a martin lawrence clone who made that up? i, i don't know, but that's just what a clone would say if i asked him that question stars tomorrow. robinson hollywood with a fashion preview at the emmys. plus, a first look at her emmy special. >> so crazy. tomorrow on gma tonight, a prime time audience got to see oprah winfrey tackle the topic of artificial intelligence right here on abc seven. >> ai is going to have more impact than even the personal computer, the phone, the internet. you know, in fact, it builds on those things in this phenomenal way. >> microsoft co-founder bill gates is one of the thought leaders who weighs in on ai and the future of us, as the show was called and the new special, oprah takes a deep dive into ai where the technology is going and the risk it poses. she talks with a wide variety of guests, from gates to fbi director christopher wray and openai ceo sam altman.

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much.immy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us. please, relax. here at the american broadcasting company after another prostate-busting night of "the golden bachelorette" tonight. wow, what a show. we started with 24 men vying for joan's tv love, and we're down to 14. six were eliminated, four died of natural causes. [ laughter ] tonight, the golden guys had to decide who would sleep on the top bunk, which was not as easy as it sounds. some of them snore, some of them have bad knees, one of them sleeps naked. [ laughter ] and they all wake up a lot to go pee. [ laughter ] a lot of logistics going into putting five guys in one room. they're lined up outside the men's room like it's a lakers game at 4:00 a.m. [ laughter ] instead of a cocktail party, this week, they had a barbecue. i'll tell you something. you ladies know. there's nothing sexier than a bunch of men in their 60s arguing over how to grill a brurger. [ laughter ] >> you're cooking a burger,

coming up is a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live! right after abc seven news at 11. jimmy. >> thanks, dan. and amna tonight. let's get mad together i feel like you might have invented hamilton like they made somehow with two m's. you were the first guy. oh that's come on now grow the system, exploit the system. take mark farrell's record. after receiving the largest ethics fine in city history for breaking campaign laws. mark authorized a commission almost every year he was in office. he was even caught taking donations from people he would then appoint to commissions, including a felon convicted of bribery. san francisco's challenges demand urgency, not more of the same failed insiders. why choose a mobile network built for places you'll probably never be... ...instead of for where you are most of the time? xfinity mobile was designed for where you need it most. now xfinity internet customers can buy one line of unlimited and get one free for a year. deep breath. cancer is a journey you don't take alone. you did it! our cancer care t

. >> first, a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live! right after abc seven news at 11 jimmy. >> tonight i'm leaving it all on the field. >> i want to be so successful that i want to have a unit of measurement named after myself. something cool you know, like turn the torpedoes up to five nanjiani's. grow the system, exploit the system. take mark farrell's record. after receiving the largest ethics fine in city history for breaking campaign laws. mark authorized a commission almost every year he was in office. he was even caught taking donations from people he would then appoint to commissions, including a felon convicted of bribery. san francisco's challenges demand urgency, not more of the same failed insiders. to me, harlem is home. but home is also your body. i asked myself, why doesn't pilates exist in harlem? so i started my own studio. getting a brick and mortar in new york is not easy. chase ink has supported us from studio one to studio three. when you start small, you need some big help. and chase ink was that for me. earn up to

you want to get a picture with jimmy kimmel? my: strange that the other statues didn't melt at all. by the way, a special welcome to those of you joining us after monday night football tonight. earn aaron rodgers tonight strapped on his tin foil helmet for another mad cap season. san francisco 49ers hosted the new york jets. this year, players have the option to wear protective helmet bumpers. next to nobody did wear them, because this is what they look like. jabrill peppers of the patriots and josh wily from the titans are two of the only smart players in all of football. they were willing to look ridiculous. they were willing to look like rick moranis in "spaceballs" in order to protect their brains. they do need to come up with a better design than this. one of the reasons that players have been unwilling to wear them is because when your head tilts backwards, which it sometimes does, a piece of candy pops out your neck. you know a sport is dangerous when even the helmets need helmets. what a week this is for abc. tonight, we

♪liberty, liberty,♪ ♪liberty, liberty.♪ >>> this week on "jimmy kimmel live!" time? xfinity mobile was designed for where you need it most. now xfinity internet customers can buy one line of unlimited and get one free for a year. (qb) this is it. one play. this is when we find out... (luke) hey, quick question. student body math proficiency, would we say it's good? fair? satisfactory? (player 1) what? (luke) like a percentage, if you had to guess. (players) hey, get out of here man. get off the field. (luke) understood. (players) security! grab him! (marci) great student-teacher ratio... (luke) marci! we've got to go! marci! we have got to go! we bring you the real, in-depth school info. (marci) what were you thinking? (luke) i don't know. i. don't know. (vo) ding dong! homes.com ♪ ♪ is it possible to be more capable? and more practical? be able to perform here. and here. make a statement while barely making a sound. and command the road, as well as what lies ahead. how we get there matters. ♪ ♪ inez, let me ask you, you're using head & shoulders, right? only w

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's very kind.immy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming. welcome to beautiful hollywood, the most -- isn't hollywood the most glamorous place on this planet earth? [ cheers ] and for those who are watching at home, thank you for joining us for our "after the after the initial rose on a new, old season of the golden bachelorette." [ laughter ] or as it is also know “love is blind, partly deaf and frequently incontinent.” [ laughter ] what a program. things are about to get steamier than an icy hot medicated patch! [ laughter ] look at this group. every one of these men looks like the guy playing fetch in a dog food commercial. [ laughter ] the golden bachelorette is joan vassos. who met a lot of interesting suitors tonight. but the one who caught my eye, not that i'm looking for a man, but if i was -- [ laughter ] it would probably be this caterer from chicago named jack. ♪ i've traveled each and every highway and more ♪ ♪ which more than this i did it my way ♪ >> i actually think i did ok

but first, here's a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live! right after abc seven news at 11. >> jimmy thanks, dan and dionne. stay up with me. i'm lonely. you are playing a young donald trump. do you still have citizenship in romania? i do. okay, good, because you're probably going to have to go back there if he wins grow the system, exploit the system. take mark farrell's record. after receiving the largest ethics fine in city history for breaking campaign laws. mark authorized a commission almost every year he was in office. he was even caught taking donations from people he would then appoint to commissions, including a felon convicted of bribery. san francisco's challenges demand urgency, not more of the same failed insiders. in a bottle sent eight years ago, tossed into the sea by bay area locals on vacation in fiji. yeah. it's crazy. >> abc seven news reporter zach fuentes spoke with the group, who found that message about the moment they finally connected with the senders. >> sunnyvale, california. california wow. >> amazement from a gr

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thank you, guys.ey, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for joining us here at our home in hollywood, california. [ cheers and applause ] liberal hollywood, california. liberal. i had a liberal elite day today. i woke up. i ate a big cat for breakfast. [ laughter and cheers ] then i had an a bone, then i had an abortion right after that. [ laughter ] and then i went to pick up my kids from their mandatory transgender surgery operations after school. and now, i'm back here spreading marxist propaganda on tv. that's how we do it! [ cheers and applause ] i've got to say, i can feel we are still buzzing after the lincoln-dumbass debate last night. [ laughter ] it couldn't have gone much better than it did for kamala harris. she baited him masterfully. i don't think i've ever seen master baiting like that on television. [ laughter ] trump was either blowing his stack, or staring straight ahead. squinting, with a sad, madface. the same look

but first, here's a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live! right after abc seven news at 11, jimmy. >> thank you. dan, stay up late with me. the dumbest person alive. >> and we get to the end of the line. and robert downey jr looks at me and i'm just out of college. and he goes, i forgot my wallet. do you mind covering my coffee having a medical emergency off a cruise ship. this morning, a coast guard helicopter airlifted an eight year old boy from a royal princess cruise ship 20 miles off the coast of eureka in northern california. the boy was diagnosed with appendicitis and needed to get to the hospital very quickly, so cruise ship doctors called in the coast guard to help the boy's family was also hoisted up and flown with him. as far as we know, he is doing okay. we'll follow up. well, time now for news to know. rounding up some major stories people will still be talking about in the days to come from a hall of famers surprise announcement to the tense hearings on the high price of weight loss drugs, here's the news to know. >> stop rippin

first, a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live! right after abc seven news at 11. jimmy watch tonight or i got this tummy tuck for nothing. >> all actors want to be rock stars. no, rock stars want to be actors. >> i don't think that's true. >> the only people i get, like, who pee your pants nervous around is rock stars what's the definition of character to you? umm... would you be a superhero or a supervillain? if you could say one thing to big tobacco, what would it be? it's so important in this time of change that we reclaim our sacred ways. i had to open my eyes. you can't continue to do this. deep breath. i'd want to ask them “why?” (♪) america. robins in the hot seat with sean evans. live. can robin handle the heat in the hot ones challenge? tomorrow on good morning america. >> new developments. a principal has resigned after his dance at an atwater high school rally went viral online. however, he will now be an associate principal at the same school and will begin his new role tomorrow. he has been on administrative leave. the merced union high school district

but first, here's a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live. after abc seven news at 11 jimmy. >> thanks, dan. and amy. we got a big one tonight. you know what, chris? you're kind of. i mean, it's pretty good. you're kind of precise, i have to say. i mean, i am impressed by this. this is. yeah. do you shave your body? yeah >> certain parts? yeah grow the system, exploit the system. take mark farrell's record. after receiving the largest ethics fine in city history for breaking campaign laws. mark authorized a commission almost every year he was in office. he was even caught taking donations from people he would then appoint to commissions, including a felon convicted of bribery. san francisco's challenges demand urgency, not more of the same failed insiders. cisco are getting a new tool to do it. we want to show you the new technology soon to be deployed throughout the city. we're talking about trailers equipped with multiple cameras that will give police new eyes on neighborhoods around the clock. these mobile security units also have floodligh

and now, jimmy kimmel. ♪ [ cheering and applause ]

. >> first, a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live! right after abc seven news at 11. >> jimmy thanks, dan and ama. watch tonight and you'll wake up with thicker, fuller hair. >> you and molly going to come and hang out with sam l jackson and his wife. really? and we're going to have. >> i don't have to photoshop myself into your pictures anymore. not next summer. >> oh my god grow the system, exploit the system. take mark farrell's record. after receiving the largest ethics fine in city history for breaking campaign laws. mark authorized a commission almost every year he was in office. he was even caught taking donations from people he would then appoint to commissions, including a felon convicted of bribery. san francisco's challenges demand urgency, not more of the same failed insiders. incarcerated and participated in a firefighting program. this was while he was serving time for a 2016 fatal dui crash. by the end of 2020, he had served his time and had completed parole. then last friday, he was arrested in healdsburg for the arson

. >> first, a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live! right after abc seven news at 11. >> jimmy thanks, dan and ama. hello, friends in the bay area tonight, keegan-michael key, grace van patten, music from khalid and donald trump announced his unconditional love for me next on jimmy kimmel live down to the big event. >> tomorrow night's debate on abc seven will be the first, and potentially only time vice president harris and former president trump face off before election day. >> the two top candidates are preparing in their own ways today. vice president kamala harris landed in philly tonight. former president donald trump is set to arrive tomorrow, with polls still showing a very tight race. >> tomorrow's debate could have a major impact. >> those undecideds, it might. it's a marginal group. it's a it's a small group. uh. but, you know, this election is going to be a marginal election, and it's going to be decided by a small amount of votes. >> both candidates are going in with significant new endorsements. harris with members of the

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. thank you, thank you.elcome, welcome. very nice. welcome. i am jimmy. i'm the host. thank you for spending your friday night with us. [ cheers and applause ] we are coming to you -- we are coming to you live-ish from our studio in hellishly hot hollywood, california. it was 105 degrees today. we are sweating our yoga balls off right now. [ laughter ] i don't even want to go out. i don't want to leave this building afterwards. and we have it easy compared to arizona. it has been over 100 degrees in phoenix for more than 100 days in a row. 103 days in a row. how many days over a hundred before you move out of the place? [ laughter ] how many for you, guillermo? >> guillermo: three. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: three days? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: donald trump is back in the hot seat. although he got a break today. the judge in the stormy daniels case in new york -- the one where he was found guilty on 34 felony counts -- has decided to postpone his decision on sentencing until november 26th. the judge said it

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host.me to the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here in our studio in hollywood. how many of you -- thank you. how many of you in our studio audience are visiting from other places tonight? [ cheers ] another question. how many of you got to experience your first earthquake this morning? [ cheers and applause ] congratulations, we had an earthquake. a 4.7, near malibu. guillermo, you were shaken up. >> guillermo: yeah, yes, jimmy, a lot, yes. >> jimmy: it was -- yeah you texted me right away. >> guillermo: yes, yes. >> jimmy: was i the first person you texted? >> guillermo: uh -- no. [ laughter ] it was aaron. >> jimmy: why did you text aaron before me? >> oh, because she lives closer where that happened, the earthquake. >> jimmy: okay. what was it like at your house? >> guillermo: it was shaking, at what it was scary, the dog started barking, my son got scared. >> jimmy: was the water in the pool going crazy? or did you even look out the backyard? >> guillermo: no, i

. >> first, a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live, right after abc seven news at 11. jimmy. >> thanks, dan and ama. tonight's show is so big, i shouldn't even be hosting it. you know, say oprah is a friend. >> yes, i would say she's a friend. >> like, do you guys talk regularly? >> do, like, a lot of snowboarding together grow the system, exploit the system. take mark farrell's record. after receiving the largest ethics fine in city history for breaking campaign laws. mark authorized a commission almost every year he was in office. he was even caught taking donations from people he would then appoint to commissions, including a felon convicted of bribery. san francisco's challenges demand urgency, not more of the same failed insiders. take that up a little bit higher. you should feel that, like, right back here. oh, yeah, i felt that! good, that is so much better than last week. thanks, i've been doing 'em every night while i'm watching tv. - oh, what are you watching? it's a mystery. high quality care that meets you where you are. of his faith that you love your nei

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. guillermo. you very much. [ cheers and applause ] i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. i thank you for watching. i thank you for joining us here -- [ cheers and applause ] -- in hollywood. it's very nice. i have to say, especially for those of you who are visiting us. they say hollywood is the entertainment capital of the world, but entertainment can come from any place. tonight's most entertaining story comes all the way from crockett county, tennessee, where one of the thousand-town sister from tlc was arrested after she said she was bitten by a camel. [ laughter ] that's right. 500 of the 1,000-pound sisters, amy, is facing child endangerment and drug possession charges after she was arrested at the tennessee safari park in alamo. it's a drive-thru zoo, which are the best ones, by the way. [ laughter ] story says amy was bitten on the arm by a camel, though the ca camel's attorney disputes that. [ laughter ] either way, the cops came. when they got to amy's car, deputies were immediately over

thanks for all the viewers, jimmy kimmel. [ applause ] >> greg: but the left says that we punch down.h comedy you are supposed to make fun of everything. also i'm 5-foot five, every punch i've ever thrown is up. except for that one time dana got a little mouthy with me in a ban against. of course today punching down has been reversed by granting special benefits based on group traits. for instance the left says you can't mock women's looks, then they mock malay tnias. my response is why would you call a show the view when your host completely block it? we are also partial to institutions. a little fashion thinking. older generations either finish this -- figured the stuff out or their society collapsed. this is why people keep hearing old classic phrases like wide by the cow if you can get the milk for free. because it makes sense and cows are sluts. the challenge for a democrat is how you change the world without destroying it's foundations. there's a lot of good things out there, electricity, meritocracy, celibacy. [ laughter ] >> greg: now, without democrats progress maybe slow, bu

but first, here's a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live! right after abc seven news at 11. >> jimmy thanks, dan and dionne. stay up with me. i'm lonely. you are playing a young donald trump. do you still have citizenship in romania? i do. okay, good, because you're probably going to have to go probably going to have to go back the first time you try bounce, it hits you: your laundry feels way fresher and less wrinkled... you start to wonder... if i put a sheet of bounce on my boss, will it make his wrinkles smoother? bounce can't do it all, but for better laundry... ♪ put a sheet on it ♪ ♪ with bounce ♪ in a bottle sent eight years ago, tossed into the sea by bay area locals on vacation in fiji. yeah. it's crazy. >> abc seven news reporter zach fuentes spoke with the group, who found that message about the moment they finally connected with the senders. >> sunnyvale, california. california wow. >> amazement from a group of hikers from townsville, australia friday. moments after opening up a message in a bottle. >> it's like every childhood s

and first, a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live, right after abc seven news at 11.jimmy. >> thanks, dan. and ama. watch tonight or we're done. you are not martin lawrence. you are a martin lawrence clone who made that up? i, i don't know, but that's just what a clone would that's just what a clone would say if i asked him that question we all need fiber for our digestive health, but less than 10% of us get enough each day. good thing metamucil gummies are an easy way to get prebiotic, plant-based fiber. with the same amount of fiber as 2 cups of broccoli. metamucil gummies the easy way to get your daily fiber. you've got a pepto predicament, ace. you overdid it on the loaded fries and now your gut is in the gutter. undo it with pepto fast melts. so you can keep on rolling. [bowling pins knocked down] when you overdo it, undo it with pepto bismol. while i am a paid actor, and this is not a real company, there is no way to fake how upwork can help your business. upwork is half the cost of our old recruiter and they have top-tier talent and everything from pr to projec

but first, here's a look at what's ahead on jimmy kimmel live! t after abc seven news here at 11, jimmy thanks, dan and ama. >> watch tonight or i'm going back to bed. >> and normally it's pretty serene and there's a lot of fishing. but this year was kind of off the hook. there was like a lot of dancing, you can't say off the hook at from the campaign trail. harris got an assist today from oprah winfrey. the vice president joined oprah at a live streamed event in detroit in front of a studio audience of local voters. harris took questions directly from voters on topics from abortion to the economy to gun control. >> i'm a gun owner, tim walz is a gun. i know that, and i thought that was in my house. that getting shot. i'm not trying to take everyone's guns away. i believe in the second amendment. >> former president trump spoke at a fighting anti-semitism event in washington this evening, where he told the audience, any jewish person who votes for harris should, quote, have their head examined. >> despite presiding over this explosion of anti-semi

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but first, here's a look at what's ahead tonight on jimmy kimmel live! ght after abc seven news at 11, jimmy thanks, dan and ama. >> tonight our future first lady is a dude. if you do become first gentleman, would you grow a ponytail? because i'm going to lose a lot of material if you know who was in what's the definition of character to you? umm... would you be a superhero or a supervillain? if you could say one thing to big tobacco, what would it be? it's so important in this time of change that we reclaim our sacred ways. i had to open my eyes. you can't continue to do this. deep breath. i'd want to ask them “why?” (♪) a gma. the morning concert event old dominion tomorrow only on good morning america summer concert series sponsored by wayfair. >> new at 11. we have some pretty remarkable video of a whale that was spotted earlier today. look at this. swimming around pillar point harbor in san mateo county. the harbor's general manager says it's a young gray or humpback, likely. that probably followed a trail of food. they were keeping a close eye on it

but first, here's a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live. right after abc seven news at 11 jimmy. >> thanks, dan. and amy. we got a big one tonight. you know what, chris? you're kind of. i mean, it's pretty good. you're kind of precise, i have to say. i mean, i am impressed by this. this is. yeah. do you shave your body? yeah body? yeah >> certain parts? yeah [cough] honey... honey. nyquil severe honey. powerful cold and flu relief with a dreamy honey taste nyquil honey, with bugs, the struggle-is-real. that's why you need zevo traps. zevo works 24/7 to attract and trap flying insects. for effortless protection. zevo. people-friendly. bug-deadly. using these type of cleansers could be damaging and stripping your skin. i use new olay cleansing melts every day. just soak, activate and wash. to clean, tone and refresh. that's a 3x better clean. olay. cisco are getting a new tool to do it. we want to show you the new technology soon to be deployed throughout the city. we're talking about trailers equipped with multiple cameras that will give poli

. >> first, a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live! right after abc seven news at 11 jimmy. >> tonight i'm leaving it all on the field. >> i want to be so successful that i want to have a unit of measurement named after myself. something cool you know, like turn the torpedoes up to five nanjiani's. why choose a mobile network built for places you'll probably never be... ...instead of for where you are most of the time? xfinity mobile was designed for where you need it most. now xfinity internet customers can buy one line of unlimited and get one free for a year. and just having on our state. city officials in lake elsinore say they've lost thousands of fish as the airport wildfire dumps ash and heat on the already delicate ecosystem. ash covered the lake for three days, blocking sunlight to the algae, which caused about 6000 fish to suffocate. so this week, the city has been pumping extra oxygen into the water. >> we stock bass. we stock bluegill. we've got wild carp in here. and so we've got a very, very robust ecosystem here. but when

. >> first, a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live, right after abc seven news at 11> thanks, dan and ama. tonight's show is so big, i shouldn't even be hosting it. you know, say oprah is a friend. >> yes, i would say she's a friend. >> like, do you guys talk regularly? >> do, like, a lot of >> do, like, a lot of snowboarding together —ooh, a timeout. —incoming dishes! —ahhh! —duck! with dawn powerwash, he can fly through 99% of grease and grime in half the time. oh, my-gration. look at him go! yeah, dawn powerwash is unique. it absorbs grease with three cleaning boosters, removing it five times faster. ooh, for beak's sake, that was fast. and powerwash can replace multiple cleaning products. —wooh, fumble recovery! —ooh, those suds got game. dawn powerwash. the better grease getter. is it possible to count on my dawn powerwash. internet like my customers count on me? it is with comcast business. keeping you up and running with our 99.9% network reliability. and security that helps outsmart threats to your data. moaire dida twoo? -your data, too. there's even round-th

. >> first, a look at what's coming up tonight on jimmy kimmel live!ht after abc seven news at 11. >> jimmy thanks, dan and ama. hello, friends in the bay area tonight, keegan-michael key, grace van patten, music from khalid and donald trump announced his unconditional love announced his unconditional love for me next on jimmy kimmel live looking for a smarter way to mop? try the swiffer powermop. ♪ an all-in-one cleaning tool, with a 360-degree swivel head that goes places a regular mop just can't. ♪ mop smarter with the swiffer powermop. did you know... 80% of women are struggling with hair damage? just like i was. dryness and frizz could be damaged hair that can't retain moisture. new pantene miracle rescue deep conditioner, with first-of-its-kind melting pro-v pearls... locks in moisture to repair 6 months of damage in one wash, without weigh down. guaranteed or your money back! for resilient, healthy-looking hair... if you know, you know it's pantene. down to the big event. >> tomorrow night's debate on abc seven will be the first, and potentially

jimmy kimmel. >> but the left the left sayst a that we punch down. but with comedy, you're supposed to make fun of everythinomede g. and also, i'm five foot five. every punch i've ever thrown is up. >> well, except for that one time, dana got a little mouthy with me at a bennigan's. of course, todayt., punching don has been reversed by granting special benefits on groupt says traits. for instance, the left says you can't mock women's y looks. then they mock melania's. my response to that is whyyour would you call his show the view when your hosts completely block it? >> we're also partial a institutions call old fashioned thinking. older generations either figured that stuff fashion or their society collapsed. this is wht ory people hearing d classic phrases like why buy the cow ife by can get the milks free? because it makes sense. and cows c, . the challenge for a dem is how do you change the world withoutr destroying its foundations? >> there's a lot of goode's t , there electricity, meritocracy ,celibacy. now, without. progress may be slow, but w

bragg he's my buddy lifeline and on this show here's what adam said on jimmy kimmel about trump's odor. >> so if you take like armpits uh-huh. >> catch-up makeup and a little but it's probably like makeup and a little been how did he get that close? i've been close to trump biden smell anything? i mean, we've gotten bad argument, but i have covid at the time. >> no membrane charlie is your headline blink plummets during presidential debate wait. oh, i haven't blood pressure know that went the other way. >> no the answer is porn traffic porn traffic plummets during presidential debate because it was a very sexy debate. but was mark watching the debate or supporting off to the debate all of america according to pornhub, a site i'm not familiar with they say that traffic was down 14.8% on average across the country during the debate, which makes sense because if you went to watch an old man getting spanked the debate was porn if you're, in the step moms oh wow hubs, data first off, shot shut up the pornhub, foot laying out the data in which a way to make it look like, you know, their data

jimmy kimmel, jane fonda and george conway have a great night francis travels to singapore, the lasttop on his current tour, a cruise that lasted as long as a pregnancy, has come to an end. >> royal caribbean's serenade of the seas docked in miami tuesday, 274 nights after embarking on its lengthy journey. passengers visited 65 countries and all seven continents, some saying they were pretty much exhausted at certain points of the trip. there are rumors another world cruise is in the works. very cool. would you do it? >> no. absolutely not. no. but if someone was pregnant, they'd be, like, big by the time they leave the cruise. >> go at the beginning. >> that's too long for me to be on a boat a couple hours. >> i would try it if i could take that much time off work. abc. >> you want to give her a year off? nine months. all right. coming up, the latest move in the nation's grocery wars as millions of americans continue to struggle to pay for items. and later, the most heartwarming story you'll see all day. >> what a group of high school boys did for their school custodian. you're not

oh, bragg and he's my buddy a, lifeline on this show here's what adam said on jimmy kimmel about trump'sou take like armpits, catch-up, makeup, and a little but it's probably like and a little been how did he get that close? >> i've been close to trump. i didn't smell anything. i mean, we've gotten bad argument, but i have covid at the time. no membrane. >> charlie is your headline blank plummets during presidential debate. >> wait. oh, i haven't blood pressure know that went the other way. no the answer is porn traffic plummets during presidential debate? >> yes. because it was a very sexy debate. you didn't but was mark robinson watch the debate on the floor? >> off to the all of them according to pornhub a site of math familiar with they say that traffic was down 14.8% on average across the country during the debate, which makes sense because if you went to watch an old man getting spanked debate was porn you're in the step moms. oh wow hubs, data first all got shot up to porn pornhub foot laying out the data in which a way to make it look like, you know, their data is dripping down t

oh, bragg show here's what adam said on jimmy kimmel about trump's older so if you take like armpits uh-huh. catch-up, makeup a little. >> but it's probably like makeup and a little. >> but how did he get that close? i mean, close to trump. i didn't smell anything. i mean, we've gotten bad argument, but i have covid at the time. >> no i'm brynn charlie. >> here's your headline blank plummets during presidential debate wait. >> oh, i haven't. >> blood pressure know that went the other way the answer is porn traffic porn traffic plummets during presidential debate because it was a very sexy debate. >> but was mark robinson watching supporting off to the debate all of america according to pornhub, a site of math familiar with they say that traffic was down 14.8% on average across the country. during the debate which makes sense because if you end to watch an old man getting spanked the debate was porn if you're, into step moms oh wow hubs, data first all got shot up the pornhub foot laying out the data in which a way to make it look like. >> you know, their dad is dripping down the wall